Simple Ideas change the world... with Mariela Dabbah

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com/SheddingtheBitch or share share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone, and happy post-Thanksgiving, at least in the United updates. I hope everybody had a fabulous and fun-filled holiday weekend. It was a nice, nice, nice long weekend, one that I certainly welcomed tremendously just based on the hectic schedule I've had over the last several weeks. But I hope you had a fabulous time as well. I'm so excited to be here today. It is Giving Tuesday. Now I was just checking online. I'm not sure if this Giving Tuesday is a is a national United States thing or if it's a worldwide. And, um, but at the same time, any day is good for Giving Day. But today is, uh, all about giving. And basically what that means, if you aren't aware of it, is of course we have Thanksgiving Thursday, Black Friday, um, the day after, then we go into Cyber Monday, which was yesterday.. And now today is, uh, Giving. And I just heard this morning, this only started, uh, back in like 2012. And, uh, I guess someone, and I failed to recall who, um, started it, but they decided that after everybody goes and spends and, you know, is commercializing the holidays and all that stuff, they decided it was important for there to be a giving day where people actually, you know, give to causes that are meaningful to them. So that is what today is all about. And so if you have a cause, whether it's for a dollar or greater, just take a look out there of who and how you can kind of pay it forward. Now, of course, we've talked about in the past— I won't go into a great deal about it, you can check it out online— but we've talked a great deal in the past that You want to be really careful because this time of year also creates a lot of scams and a lot of crooks out there setting themselves up purposely for today as a charity. And yet you really need to look at the fine print. You need to do some research. And actually, Gayle King on CBS This Morning talked about it this morning. She was really close to donating because she received an email that looked like it came from a connection of hers, a very kind of influential industry insider. So she automatically assumed, okay, fine, I'm gonna donate and give today to his charity. And yet she noticed that in the email it made a comment like, his signature line said, thanks for your, you know, your donation, Dave. And I guess he only ever, ever, ever goes by David, like me. I don't go by Bernadette or Bernie. I only go by Bernadette. So should you receive anything from me, uh, other than Bernadette, then you know it's, uh, fake. So she happened to catch on it really quickly and confirm that it was actually a scam. So be careful, do your research, um, and also look into whether or not the causes actually go to exactly what it is you want to donate to. Um, and we've talked about that in the past as well. So do your homework is all I'll say, but it is Giving Tuesday. And then we're going to talk about a whole different type of focus on Tuesdays with our guests in a short little bit. So that'll be fun as well, because it complements the fact that we broadcast on Tuesdays. So that'll be good. Other than that, let's see, some rich news is— let's— oh, well, the royals' engagement. Isn't that exciting? I know, because I know it's more exciting for the States, for the United States. More so than ever in the past, only because it's an American who got engaged to Prince Harry. So that's kind of exciting and something everybody will be talking about for the next 6 to 9 months, I'm sure. But that was kind of exciting, rich news if you haven't heard it already. Let's see what else. We are kicking off into December. And you know how I love this month as we wrap up the year. But at the same time, it's— probably the 3 or 4, including this particular show today with our guest, um, the most popular shows of the year come in this Thanksgiving through December time period. And I think it's because people are looking for motivation and tips and guidance from, uh, guests like our guest today, as well as just how we wrap up the year with really focusing on kind of what you did in 2017, what your goals were, and where you're at with them now, and then how do you get ready for not only the chaos of the year, oh, I'm sorry, of the holiday season, but how do you then get your head around planning for next year? So I would advise you, we had a whole conversation regarding managing the chaos of time a couple weeks ago, so you can certainly go and check that out, out on blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio. Or I know there was one missing on sheddingthebitch.com, so I'll make sure it is up there as well. Last week we had a conversation all around this whole Me Too movement due to all the sexual harassment, so I kind of just shared my stories and some of other people's stories as it pertains to how to deal with the hashtag Me Too scandal that's going on, but how do you kind of just if you're in that situation, how can you address it as well. Let's see, anything else? Just stay tuned to BlogTalkRadio.com or SheddingTheBitch.com and you will be able to get all the updates regarding our upcoming shows, topics, and even guests. Alright, alright, let's take a deep breath and let's dive into this awesome conversation. I'm gonna give you kind of what we're going to be talking about. I'll tell you what to listen for, and I'll give you your rich question, um, what I— what you're thinking about as we get into this conversation with our guests. We'll take a short break, and then when we get back, we're going to dive in with an introduction to our guest and then into, um, the whole topic of conversation. Sounds like a plan. All right, so what we're talking about today is all about really the A simple idea that can change the world. And our guest is certainly an interesting— and I absolutely loved it when I saw it online. I believe I came across it on Twitter. And I reached out to her, and months ago, I think it was. And of course, she's very busy. My schedule was very busy. So we finally got an opportunity to get her scheduled. Because she has what's called the Red Shoe Movement. Now picture that, ladies. The Red Shoe Movement. And its success is due to its unique leadership development methodology and its approach. She has it based on 7 RSM. So her, kind of her short take on that is RSM for Red Shoe Movement and its 7 principles. And a proprietary methodology that emphasizes mutual mentoring and self-motivation. The company's iconic hashtag, Red Shoe Tuesday campaign, is moving the needle in female representation at the top of a workplace. And so we're gonna really dig in with her to understand those principles, her methodology, the whole Red Shoe movement, the Red Shoe Tuesday campaign, mutual mentoring, a lot of these things. But I want you to be listening for what the Red Shoe Movement is, how it works, and what it stands for, 'cause it's something that you're definitely gonna wanna get involved in. And what is the meaning of #RedShoeTuesday and its campaign and the 7 RSM principles and the effectiveness that those principles have in changing cultures? And I'm gonna assume those cultures are business cultures, your community cultures, whatever the case might be, and what key ideas she has to share with you to help women advance their careers and to help organizations seriously embrace gender inclusion once and for all. So we have a lot to talk about. So we're gonna— I'm gonna give you your rich question and your hashtags. We'll take a quick break and we'll come back. So your rich question, and what these questions are meant to do is get you grounded in the topic and be thinking about the impact that this topic might have on your life, and in this case, your work or your business. And therefore, if our guest addresses it, you'll get your tips and advice. And if it doesn't, then you can always reach out to her, and I'll be sharing all of her information with you. And of course, Deborah is out there feeling great post-Thanksgiving, maybe a couple pounds heavier. No offense, Deborah. But if she's like me, and she's out there taking your, any questions, stories, or challenges, and she's tweeting and Facebooking with you, all right? So be sure, shedding the bitch out there in the social sphere, so to speak. All right, your rich question. What is the one challenge you are having in your job or if you have your own business? What is that one challenge? Is it about advancing your career? Is it about embracing gender inclusion inclusion within your organization? Is it about just overall your leadership or how to get mentoring or self-motivation? What is the one challenge you are having? And I promise you, our guest is going to address it. So hashtag with us if you would. Let's use her hashtag, #RedShoeTuesday, and let's hashtag leadership, and then let's hashtag #ShedTheBitch as always. And like I said, Deborah's out there of Parker House Virtual Services, and she'll be tuned in to looking for any conversation that might be going on out there. All right, all right, we're gonna take a quick break. When we get back, I'm going to introduce you to our amazing guest and get into this conversation. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity. So they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern Time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/shuttingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are getting into a conversation about the Red Shoe Movement. And I want you to go to redshoemovement.com as we're talking so you can kind of check out what it's all about, what our guest is all about, and how they can help and support you in whatever goals you might have. But our guest is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to leveraging the playing field for women and diverse employees at the corporate level. She is an international speaker, award-winning author, And Mariela Daba is one of the most sought-after and respected leaders in the country. She is the CEO of the Red Shoe Movement, a career and leadership development company powered by a movement of women who support each other for career success. The RSM— Red Shoe Movement— uses a proprietary methodology to help corporations engage and promote multicultural women with a sustainable approach. Through awareness campaigns such as Red Shoe Tuesday and its Hall of Fame, the company fosters ongoing conversations about the benefits of having women in executive positions.

Woo-hoo!

She has RSM fans in over 140 countries— 145 countries. She's also a renowned international speaker and a corporate consultant. She's worked with Procter Gamble, Coca-Cola, Coca-Cola, McDonald's, you get the picture. She is always presenting in the media for her expert— or asked to present in the media for her expertise in leadership, overcoming barriers to success, education, and women empowerment. Mariela has contributed with CNN, Forbes.com, Univision, Telemundo, Cala Presenta, Yahoo, and many other networks.

Wow.

Now she is a best-selling author, and she's a best-selling author on Amazon, Barnes Noble, and Nielsen. Her award-winning books include Find Your Inner Red Shoes: The Latino Advantage in the Workplace, Latinos in College: Your Guide to Success, and many others. In 2017, she won the Business Leadership and D&I Award— that's diversity and inclusion— by LNC, a coalition of ERGs from Fortune 500 businesses. In 2016, she won the Thomas DeLincoln Award by Ford for trailblazing women. And in 2015, she was on Time Inc.'s People en Español, People en Español magazine's 25 Most Powerful Women. In 2013, she received the Women and Society Award by LULAC and Cervantes Institute for her contributions to the advancement of the Hispanic community. So everybody put your hands together for Mariela Dava. How are you, Mariela?

Oh my God, it's exhausting. That bio means I'm getting old. What can I say, Bernadette? I'm really happy to be here with you, and happy Write to Tuesday, and I'm really happy that your show airs on Tuesday because then Every Tuesday is Red Shoe Tuesday in your show.

Right, exactly, absolutely. All right, so that's where we're going to get started because one, I wouldn't say you're old, you're just very, very accomplished, and as a result of that, I really want to kick off by really understanding what Red Shoe Tuesday is all about, what's that campaign, and how can they use that hashtag Red Shoe Tuesday to kind of advance what it is you're doing.

So, um, you were talking a little bit about the Red Shoe Movement, and I know we're going to get into that through the show. And one of the things, when I started this company which focuses on leadership development for women, is I wanted women to be able to own this topic and to be able to feel that they can move themselves, their careers, right? They can manage their own careers and get as far as they want.. And so besides the book and my presentations and the workshops and the training and everything that comes along with every book that I write, I wanted to create a movement. And so the movement, which is what supports the work we do internally in organizations, has this campaign. Because our mission is to accelerate the representation of women at the top, the campaign helps us move towards a global leap of consciousness. So every Tuesday, everybody wears red shoes, ties, or socks to go to work to keep up the conversation about how we change the culture together to make it more feasible for women to move up the ladder and get wherever they want to get. So to advance this idea of having more diversity at the top. So instead of only going through the traditional methods, which we use ourselves in our company, training, development, methodologies for training and sensitizing people and talking about it and maybe setting up quotas and so forth. What else can we do? And so we decided a global leap of consciousness is possible. This idea was inspired in other very simple ideas that have changed the world. And so that's what Red Shoe Tuesday means. So using the hashtag #RedShoeTuesday, showing your pictures of you wearing your red shoes, what's your look, we just We started the #RedLookbook hashtag so that people can do something fun with it, because that's the other thing, you know, it's a— this gender inclusion topic is a topic that elicits a lot of confrontation, and we wanted to do something fun with it. We wanted a fun visual reminder that we can all have a conversation and that we need to move the needle together.

Well, that's really interesting, because the first thing I was thinking about as you were explaining that is, Certainly if people would kind of push that Red to Tuesday campaign forward and use it as a conversation starter in their companies, it would quickly identify for individuals where there is support and where there is not, and therefore where the conversation really needs to, needs to go toward. And I had seen a number of the photographs of both the men and the women in their either red ties or red shoes. I thought it was fabulous. So everybody, I just want you to go to redshoemovement.com. I want you to look into this campaign and see what resources and tools she has to help you use it as a conversation starter in companies. Just like there's Casual Fridays where people, you know, wear jeans or whatever they want to wear to work on Fridays, let's kind of advance this idea that we can show support for diversity and inclusion. And that's not even just the gender issue of women. It's also just advancement of cultures and religions and beliefs. And if they're wearing red on Tuesdays, then that would be a great kind of representation of that. That's awesome. Congratulations, Mariela.

Thank you. And you know, it's really also like the intersection of fashion and self-empowerment that—

Of course.

Allows us to do these fun things. Like you were saying, it's very evident in an organization as more and more people show up with the red shoes, the red ties, the red socks, who is behind it and where you're going to need to get a little bit more support.

Right. And the—

one of the key elements here is when men who like red shoes in women find that this is something they want to jump on board. And your friend Jeffrey Tobias Holter, who actually introduced us, is a great example. You know, he gave a TEDx talk with red high heels, and that's kind of how he and I connected. I saw his picture and I'm like, "Oh my God, this is phenomenal." So people who are not— men who are not afraid to really stand tall and wear women's— put their— you know, walk a mile in women's shoes, right?

Right.

Are really very important to this campaign. So we obviously don't ask for men to wear high red heels, heels, but anything they do to support moves the needle that much faster.

Absolutely, absolutely. And at the same time, it's a watershed moment in business, in entertainment, and in just social life when it comes to how women are treated and respected and revered. You know, I know the whole thing about the sexual harassment is a very kind of sad and pathetic situation. At the same time, I'm hoping that it's a watershed moment in that we definitely get change and awareness from men as far as how women should be treated at home and in the workplace. And I think your Red Shoe Tuesday campaign could be an absolutely great contributor to that moment. So I hope everyone out there just go to redshoemovement.com if you would and check out everything about Mariela and how you might be able to bring that campaign into your own environment. So let me ask you something. Do you have a— is there something from your own past or situation that caused you to start the Red Shoe Movement? Why did you start it to begin with?

I come— I'm originally from Argentina, so I've been here— next year it will be 30 years, and all of my professional education is here. And— but I started my career here, and always in the— my niche has always been connecting the dots to success. And my beginnings had to do with helping Latino immigrants and parents understand how the education system works so that they could help their kids succeed here, because the reason why most immigrants come to this country is for a better opportunity for their families, right?. And so if you don't know, understand how the education system works, you can very— it's very hard for you to help your kids. So I started there, and for many years my focus was on helping move the needle in education and in graduation rates for Latino students in the U.S. And that was a very hard needle to move. So as I continued developing my interest, and you know, from working in education. I started helping people understand how to find jobs and how the job system worked. And then once they had a job, how to move through an organization so that you can move up the ladder. And eventually I realized that we needed to have a separate conversation with women because it would— there were some subconscious mandates that we have growing up that impact women differently than men. You know, men have their own social mandates. That they have to respond to. But the ones we have kind of keep us, keeping your head down, working hard, waiting to be noticed, being humble, not talking too much about yourself, not being the one that negotiates for yourself because somebody else is always doing that for you. And so all of those mandates we grew up with were getting in the way of us defining what is our success, what is success for me, what do I want to accomplish? How do I align my aspirations with my goals? And for that then I started focusing on women. And the moment I started doing that, I realized, oh my God, I'm jumping onto another conversation, another issue with a very— with a needle that's been stuck in the same place for decades. If you look at, you know, the percentage of women as CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, that needle has barely moved in decades.

Right.

And so I decided, all right, enough of this. I need to research and find out a way in which, like I said to you at the beginning, we could really overcome this overnight and not have to continue going with the incremental improvements we've been betting on for all of these years and all of these decades. Right. And that's how it all started.

That's fabulous. That's fabulous. Yes. There's a— pushing the needle when it comes to helping to transform. And again, I will go back to the fact that I'm praying that this moment in time with everything that's going on with these highlighting how these very high-profile men are treating women in the workplace and actually treating men. Kind of recognize that there's also been some men accused of harassment with other men. But I'm just— I'm praying to God that, to your point, I'm praying to God— like, right now it's estimated that, you know, nothing would change inequality for women till, like, the year 2075, something ridiculous like that. And I just hope that this moment in time will help to— accelerate that and, and compress it in a great way. So, um, I want to get into the 7 principles, but I don't want to cut you off before a break. So, um, can you kind of give me an idea of, you know, what you're finding to be the common denominator as we get into this conversation about the principles And before we take a break, can you help me understand, you work with women all around the world, are there common denominators or what are those common denominators when it comes to their career ambitions and growth and what they do or don't do to advance themselves?

So there are some commonalities in terms of a lot of women are looking for opportunities where they're gonna be able to have a life outside of work. And that might make— may mean deciding on following one career path or one education versus another. So as we progress in this conversation, we will see that there are two parties or more than two parties involved in the fact that we're stuck at a certain level. And of course, one of those is the organization culture and our society's culture and our you know, how things have been structured for a workplace that was majority men. And on the other hand is what we do as women that we could change, because that's what's in our hands. We could change that right away. So if you, you know, that's what I think that one of the commonalities is, okay, how do we pick what we're going to study? And the fact that we all bring all of those subconscious mandates, the expectations, the dreams, that we had— our parents and our grandparents had before we were even born for us, the roles that we were supposed to play, that we carry that with us throughout our lives and into our careers. And that's what we need to become all aware so that we can do something about it. And like I was saying before, the moment you're better aligned with your real aspirations and your career goals, that's when you can grow really fast.

Right.

I absolutely agree. I, and I, my parents definitely wish that, that I was, uh, that I felt a little bit, um, pressured to do what they wanted me to do. But I happen to be like the rebel child, so, uh, they, uh, they knew I was not going to do what anything other than what I wanted to do. So, uh, I certainly understand, you know, that kind of that pressure and those biases and those long generation after generation expectations. All right, so we're gonna— we are gonna take a quick break because I definitely want to make sure that that conversation is complemented by Mariela's 7 RSM principles. So what I want you to all do is, uh, before we go to break, go to redshoemovement.com, check out everything about Mariela and her movement, and figure out how you can participate in it. It's— it is phenomenal, and it can definitely up the game where so many of us as women are looking to create change and advancement in our lives. And then of course, Facebook with her, Twitter with her, Twitter, tweet with her, and of course she makes it easy on us. Everything about Mariela is Red Shoe Movement, so you can find her on Facebook, on Twitter, obviously you can find her on LinkedIn under Mariela Daba. Her website. Just find her, Google her, and you will get connected with her and check out what she's all about. All right, we're going to take a quick break. When we come back, we'll talk to Marielle about her principles for the Red Shoe Movement. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Boas' book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com consulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at media relations at sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are talking with Mariela Daba of the Red Shoe Movement. Go to redshoemovement.com to learn all about it. But we've been talking about just what can women do to set themselves apart, advance their careers, really go after what it is that they want. And yet we all understand that there's some expectations, some biases, some pressures, whether it's from our family, friends, community, our workplace even. So we are getting into a whole conversation around her Red Shoe Movement, the methodology, the principles that she uses to create change in many cultures. And cultures meaning the company, cultures meaning your own mindset, and cultures in your community. So let's dive in, if we could, Mariela, to these 7 principles and how to create change in an organization. Where would you like to start?

So I'll tell you a little bit about the principles. We are— everything we do is based on our methodology that encourages mutual mentoring and self-empowerment, self-motivation, self-leadership. So when we come to an organization to work with them and help them develop their talent so they can move to the next level in their careers, our focus is to come to a point where they don't need us anymore because the team that we're working with that received the training is able to keep it up on their own because they are motivated and because they created a culture, an internal community of trust among each other through our Red Shoe Woman Circles that we help them set up. And everything is backed up by or standing on top of our 7 mutual mentoring principles. And they're very commonsensical principles that when you install them in an organization, when you respect them, you can very quickly see the change of culture. So I'm going to read them to you. They're very simple. One, mentor younger or less experienced women whenever you have a chance. And we're not talking only about the fact that we are— we need to mentor women who are younger. If it's somebody less experienced, it might be that you, Bernadette Boas, are less experienced in, I don't know, social media, and a colleague of yours in your same organization is very well-versed in that, and she's going to mentor you on that particular issue. So it's a mutual mentoring. It's a two-way street.

Right.

To offer opportunities to women who are eager to learn, because many times we see in organizations that people pass on or pass over women who are around them who are really interested in learning, who are volunteering in different positions just eager to understand how something works, and nobody takes the time to actually teach them or mentor them or help them. So if you have people around you who are eager to learn, pay attention to that and make the time to help them. 3, provide honest feedback to women in your network and avoid hurtful comments or unnecessary criticism. Because as you know, the research shows that the feedback we give to women whether the person giving the feedback is a man or a woman, tends to receive more feedback based on personality traits than on performance. So we are— and we tend to be pretty hard on women and talk a lot about their personalities or, you know, how this feel or that felt and not focus on concrete feedback that can help them improve their performance for the future. 4, cultivate your relationship with women on your team. 5, celebrate the accomplishments of women publicly. We believe that, you know, we don't celebrate enough women's accomplishments publicly.

Right.

And whether it is giving them awards, whether it is publicly saying in a meeting, you know, this was possible thanks to the support of XYZ. We most of the time give them recognition for being behind the scenes. But what we want is to give them the visibility and exposure they need. So that more, better opportunities come their way. Six is refrain from badmouthing women. And this includes when we badmouth public figures who are females for the wrong reasons. I mean, you should never badmouth anybody. But what I'm saying is that sometimes, you know, you get with a public figure like, I don't know, Hillary Clinton, and people will start attacking her for the suits she wears. I mean, attack her for her politics if you want, as you would attack her male counterpart. For his politics, right? But—

Right. Right.

But it's— the focusing on the wrong issues when we talk about women publicly and jumping on that, badmouthing women, affects everybody.

Yeah.

And actually, you know, I would go back and say don't attack them for her political views, you know, debate her for the— Right.

Right.

—political views. Right. And number 7, avoid using labels that contribute to stereotyping women because Sometimes we think it's funny to call women labels like bossy or ambitious or bitchy or any of those things, and it's really not funny because you are constantly stereotyping and contributing to that stereotype. So those are the 7 principles. As you see, they're very, very commonsensical and basic, but if we were all to practice them every day in our organizations and in our lives, will probably move the needle way, way faster than we're moving it now.

Well, and I would also look at it kind of in the opposite way too. If we kind of looked at this list, and I wrote them all down, if we looked at the list and said, okay, where am I guilty? Where have I, you know, not held myself to one of these principles? I'm going to guess, Mariela, that you have or you find that just as many women, if not more so, than men actually break a number of these principles against other women. Would that be a fair statement?

Well, I would say that it is easier probably to remember when a woman has broken these principles because you feel probably more hurt than a co-gender breaks this principles than a man. But what we've tried to do with the principles and the campaign and everything we do is to try to move off the table this infight between women. We're trying to not make that the center of the conversation, because what happens then, Bernadette, is that we keep on just kind of diffusing what is the real problem, why there are no more women at the top. Of the organizational ladder. And the reason is not because other women don't want them to get there. That's not the main reason. So as we continue our, you know, this little infight that women are not supporting each other, and we give that a lot of fuel to continue burning, the key reasons why that is happening are not really being resolved or faced. And that's why I would disagree with you in that sense that I don't, I don't think that that's the case, that most of the time women break this, but it, it is, it does show. I think it is more often because it hurts more.

That's a, that's a very valid point. That's a very valid statement. But I would have to ask, so if it's not that, then what are the reasons? What are the, the core reasons why women aren't being advanced? Or women aren't climbing the ladder, even if it's not all the way up to the C-level, but it's somewhere in between? What is the core reason if it's not kind of people breaking these principles?

Well, there are several reasons, and like we were announcing before the break, on the one hand you have organizational mindsets and reasons within organizations that were created for when the workforce was a majority male, and they have not adjusted to the current workplace where there is so much more diversity and there needs to be a lot more inclusion. So procedures, ways in which people hire and promote, hidden discriminatory practices, like, you know, even having names on resumes. It's been proven to make a complete— a difference between who gets hired. So if we already know that, why isn't it a policy? Let's just have blank resumes with a number, just a number for the person, so that we can make the selection or the preselection without paying attention to gender, for example. So there are a lot of issues that have to do with the mindsets of the organizations and how they— the procedures to get promoted and how visible you have to be and the fact that a lot of the women are usually in more supportive positions and so forth. And then you have the women's mindset, which is, as I was saying in the beginning, a little bit of the common thread is that we tend to pick jobs and careers and education where we feel we can have a life. We— if we want to have children or if you will have a a hobby or if you want to have a life out of work or whatever it is that you want to develop. And so you are self-selecting for careers that have maybe less— they may— you will make less money, so forth. Or you will be less prepared to move up the ladder. But the two biggest issues that affect women according to the research is the fact that organizations request for them to be on 24/7. And the double burden, the fact that they're responsible for working full-time and then go home and they're responsible to work at home. And, you know, it's known around the world there's a huge difference with the amount of free hours women work and the amount of free hours men work. I think it's about 2.5 hours more per day worldwide for women than men. And so all of that impacts your ability to grow. So that requires a change in society's focus, because we're going to need to get the men to renegotiate roles with men so men become more participative at home and taking care of the family and so forth. And that's going to help them too. I think men missed out a lot because of the mandates they've been living under. You know, being the protector, being always the financial support, et cetera. Bernadette Boas? So I think that there was a little lapse in my audio. Basically, I just think that we're going to need, as a society, to sit down and to review. And this is happening in some areas faster than in others. In areas where I work a lot, like Latin America, you have cultures that are very patriarchal, that are very— where machism is really very entrenched, and it's a little bit harder. In the U.S., that is not as hard, but still, you know, this culture needs to be shaken up. And that's going to take a lot of effort from everybody. So I think each one of us as individuals who have partners and have fathers and brothers and so forth and friends and colleagues, we need to have these conversations in an ongoing way. And to your point about Red Shirt Tuesday and the impact in this current situation with all of the conversations about sexual harassment and so forth, I think it's interesting because it offers us a fun way to talk about this and participate in this without men feeling that we're pointing a finger at them. So, so the idea is we're going to have to do a lot of work together, and this is a tool that you have that can help you bring it to your office. In a completely different way now, in a more light— in a lighter spirit. So I think we've all got— obviously it's a very serious allegations, so it lightens up a little bit the topic.

Right, right. Okay. And can you hear me now? Because we did have a— okay.

Yes, I can hear you perfectly.

Yeah, we did have a technical blip. Well, I mean, that provides a lot of hope. It at least. You know, that should provide a lot of, you know, hope to women, even to men, that there is possible change and possible influence that we can now be having in the workplace in order to kind of provide the opportunities to, you know, to all women, all cultures, all— anybody who wants advancement should have that opportunity. And I absolutely agree with you when it comes to like resumes and and things that create, which I wanted to ask you about, things that create unconscious bias. Do you talk about that as far as how that even influences kind of principles?

Well, the unconscious biases, it's like a different animal from what I've been sharing in terms of subconscious mandates. The mandate is what come, it's a different, it's like a different aspect of it. But the subconscious biases are responsible for a lot of the problems we're having in terms of culture within the organizations. Things that people do unwillingly. They don't even realize they're doing it. And they might be very well— they may have the best intentions. And they're just doing it because they don't realize it. So it's the boss who has a great opportunity and doesn't offer it to a woman because she has little children and he thinks that he's protecting her and she's not going to want to travel. So she does— he doesn't even offer it. And that doesn't give her the opportunity to say yes. So that's a subconscious bias, is thinking that you're protecting her when in reality she wants to be part of that decision. So biases are something that we all live with and it's natural. It's part of the human evolution. We all have them and it's the filter we use to see the world. Sometimes it's fantastic that we have, you know, certain biases because they allow us to identify enemies quickly. Dangerous quickly, and so forth. But now in our work environment, a lot of those get in the way of women advancement.

Sure. Absolutely. No, absolutely, absolutely. And it's really interesting. And I don't want to, you know, kind of put you on the spot, but your introduction made a comment about the fact that you speak to the impact, the influence, the profit— well, you didn't use the word profitability. But the fact that there is hard statistics prove that how women contribute when they're in leadership roles. And I don't know if that, you know, having those statistics as part of your Red Shoe Movement or not, but I just wanted to kind of ask you about that.

Yeah, of course. And there's a lot of research that talks about how that the more inclusive a group of people is in— the more innovative they get, the lower the risk. The more women in the highest decision-making positions, the lower the risk for that organization. The higher the return on investment. The higher sales and so forth. And I think it has to do because with the fact that we have very complementary styles and ways of approaching the world and ways of coming up with solutions and of taking in consideration all of the stakeholders. And when you think about the fact that about 80% of decision making— of the decisions, consumer decisions are made by women. And whatever you do, service or products that you produce or create are going to be directed to a consumer where 80% of the decisions are going to be made by the woman. Why wouldn't you want more of those in the decision-making positions to help you address that consumer. I mean, even looking at it from that angle. Right, right.

So what do you find— what do you find the reasonings— of course we've talked about some of them, but what do you find— because I don't know about you, but I have straight, you know, straight-on conversations with CEOs and C-level men about why it is that they're not, you know, leveraging women. Do you get anything else other than what we've already talked about as reasoning why they just, you know, are not seeing that quantifiable impact that they could be having as a result of women? I don't—

I have not spoken to anybody who will tell me I have not gotten the results from getting women at the top because there's not enough CEOs that have enough amount of women at the top. But what you will hear is very often, "We can't find the candidates. There's not enough of a pool for this kind of position or for this industry." Whether it's tech or it's engineering or whatever it is. And I have two answers for that because I come from a— like I was explaining to you in terms of what I did in education, we got the same thing when you ask people, "Why don't you hire more Latinos?" And they'll say, "Oh, we can't find them." Because the only place they're recruiting is in the Ivy League schools. And in the Ivy League schools, there's, I don't know, like a 5% of Latinos would go to Ivy League schools because most of them can't afford it, don't even know they can get a free ride if they get in. And so you need to change the way you're recruiting so that you can find the talent that you're looking for. This is the same situation. So companies need to really change their hiring practices so that they can look at the right pools, number one. They need to create fatter pipelines to get more women at the beginning because as they fall through the pipeline, they still have a substantial pipeline later on. And more women need to raise their hands. That's true too. We had Lisa Lutfurloh, the CEO of Celebrity Cruises, as the keynote Q&A of our event 2 weeks ago. And she— you know, we were asking her— she's the one that hired the first American woman captain of a mega cruise in the world. And now she hired, I think, the first African American and so forth. And she says, "I am trying really, really hard, but I need more women to raise their hands." Yes.

Yeah. And that's what I was told by a CEO of one of the largest global insurance companies. I said, "Why aren't you hiring them? Why, you know, there's— you have these openings and, you know, it's all men." And he said, "They don't ask." And, you know, so that's definitely, you know, that's definitely a problem. All right. So I want to make sure that we get in— what would you be telling women? How to involve men in the organization in the process of building more equal workplaces, but also what should they be doing for themselves to advance themselves? What— in the last 3 minutes that we have, what would you strongly tell them? To do?

The most important thing is a very basic advice, but that very few people really take to heart. And it is you do need to make your network much stronger. You need to get a lot of those potential sponsors to notice you. You need to get on the radar of people who can actually be sponsors for your career. And to do that, the best way to do it is to, get on their agenda, start supporting their agenda, start attracting their attention to you by doing things for them. And that would be my best advice because I think women need a stronger network within the networks of power. And that is right now white males. So how do you involve yourself more in that, those after hours, in the golf outings, in all of the different up— situations where you can actually be part of that group and be considered part of their team, develop the trust, because people hire people they trust, so you need to develop that relationship and that trust. And the best way to start is by, like I said, supporting their agenda, whatever it is. Do they have a nonprofit that they support? Today is Giving Tuesday, give to that nonprofit. Volunteer in organizations that they support, get noticed by them. Right, right.

And what do you say to those women who feel that they shouldn't have to, you know, kind of do all of that in order to get ahead? What would you tell them?

I would say that everybody does that. Men do it all the time. They're constantly networking. They're constantly in each other's cubicle talking and chatting. And they're chatting about nothing. And what happens is that a lot of women, we've been trained or we've been raised to think that we need to work hard and our work will be noticed. And that, you know, you only ask people when you need something from them. And executives actually complain of the fact that women only— male executives— that women only approach them when they need something. They don't come to chitchat. They don't come to ask, "How was your weekend?" Did you go to your daughter's soccer game or whatever? And those little conversations are the glue to this relationship. So you do need to go chitchat, get off your seat, go visit other cubicles, have lunch with other people. Don't stay just working hard and thinking that that is going to do all the speaking. Sometimes you're lucky and it does, that does all the talking for you. Sometimes, most of the time it doesn't. And somebody who— Right. Who has the ear of the decision-making will probably get farther.

Yeah, well, not only that, but wouldn't you agree, like you made that comment about, you know, the key to relationships— well, relationships is connecting on a social, personal, as well as a business level, right? Absolutely.

And more so socially than at a business level. So, you know, sometimes in, in, at the beginning of my career, I would go to all these events where I was attending or presenting or whatever, and because I never drunk and I don't like alcohol, then I would go to my room when the cocktail hour came, and that is where the most important part of the whole day. Right. Right. It's just that last hour where people have a glass of wine and they relax and they actually build this relationship, start this relationship. And I think that women should not miss out on that. Right.

Right, and I would agree, and I, you know, because I can, I can remember when I was like 28, I, I went out on, I went to learn to play golf because my, my team that I actually managed, older men and younger men, it was all men, and they actually took the clients out to play golf. And one day I was like, well, you're not going without me, it's my client. And, uh, so I went and learned how to play golf, and as long as you picked up and kept moving, you know, they weren't, um, you know, they weren't gonna shut you out. So ladies, it's just really important. Listen to Mariela. It's just really important that you need to build out that network and you need to do the things that they need you to do, support what they need, start socializing, build that network of powerful, influential people to get ahead.

Mariela, I'm sorry. And we actually have a few blogs on this topic on how to integrate networking into your life.

So that you don't think it's a job. Awesome, awesome, awesome. So we'll reference, you know, to go to your blog on the Big Movement— or I'm sorry, on theredshoemovement.com in order to see those blogs and get that help and resources. Thank you so much, and yes, we'll support Red Shoe Tuesday. I want to make sure I got that right. Red Shoe Tuesday, hashtag, and the campaign Folks, just go to Red Shoe Movement and find out how you can leverage what Mariela is doing to advance diversity, inclusion, and women advancement in your workplace. Thank you so much for joining us, Mariela. I loved this conversation. Thank you so much, Bernadette.

It's so important what you do and that you're giving visibility to people who are doing important things. And just so that everybody knows, I know it'll be probably written in the comments of the episode, my name spells M-A-R-I-E-L-A-D-A-B-B-A-H, and that's how you'll find me in social media. Yeah, great. Awesome.

Thank you so much for that, and have a beautiful holiday season.

So do everybody. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful end of the year.

You're very welcome. Wow, that was an awesome conversation, everyone. Reg, www.thewomen2movement.com. Check them out and check Marielle out as well and all the work that she does. And next week is our last Ask Bernadette AMA, Ask Me Anything, uh, Tuesday, next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Post your questions, your stories, your challenges out on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, sheddingthebitch.com. Send them to me directly at Bernadette Boas at sheddingthebitch.com. And get your questions answered as to how and what you want to be doing either, you know, from all of 2017, maybe even going into 2018, and we'll get them addressed next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. And then, of course, the month of December we focus on everything you need in order to assess your achievements in 2017 and get you ready for the new year. All right? So for everybody here, Deborah, myself, and everyone within the Shedding the Bitch community, Thank you so much for being part of this, and have a rich, prosperous week, and we'll see you right back here at noon Eastern time next Tuesday on Shedding the Bitch Radio. Thanks everybody, bye.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches, and the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.