Step 4 of the 5 Steps to Shed Your Bitches - CREATE

Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to our Power Series. This week, um, it's been all about the 5 steps to shed your bitches, and today is step 4 where we are going to talk about the Create step. Now, since Monday, we've been talking about Discover, Confront, and Shed in order for you then to move on to the Create. So if you've missed any of those sessions then simply, um, in our Shed the Bitch TV channel on YouTube or in our Shedding the Bitch Facebook group page where this is broadcasting to both, uh, take a look for day 1, 2, and 3, uh, to really understand, um, this, this formula, this process for really getting to the, to the, to the foundation of what is it that you're working so hard to achieve and why is that. And who is it you're working to become, and what is the impact on the world that you're looking to have, and, and what is going to support you in that pursuit, what's going to hold you back and really create some havoc for you. So Monday, it was all about the discovery, uh, phase of all of that. And then, uh, Tuesday we said, okay, now that we've discovered all this stuff, we have to confront it— the good, the bad, the ugly. The painful, the joyful, the, um, the hard, the easy, the shameful, the, um, you know, joyful again, proud, um, all of it. You have to kind of confront it so you can put it into perspective, because there's going to be a lot of things that we moved into Wednesday. There's going to be a lot of things that you're going to want to, uh, declare and own as those are the things that have happened. Those are the experience, the encounters, the relationships, the, the work, the projects, the accomplishments, the awards. All of it is, you know, what made you who you are today. And as a result of that, there's going to be things that you're going to want to shed, as we discussed in day 3. There's going to be one— some of those things you're going to want to hold on to and move forward with and even enrich and leverage so you can work on overcoming, um, those things that might be holding you back or a little bit more challenging or difficult for you. Um, the whole premise of this is to ensure that you have a tool that you could be using every day when all of a sudden you're finding yourself stuck, frustrated, anxious, overwhelmed, fearful, doubting yourself. You can kind of sit back and just say, okay, wait a minute, I need to do some— I need to do some work here to really understand What is getting in my way? What is, you know, holding me back? What are my limiting beliefs? What am I thinking about? What are my beliefs, emotions, thoughts, feelings, words that are all impacting the actions that I'm taking and the results that I'm getting, or the lack thereof? So this, you know, this formula, extremely powerful for any, any, any situation that you might be in. And you just, like I always talk about, you look at it logically and work through it. You know, you pull out that journal, you pull out that journal and that pen, even if it falls to the ground, and you start working it. So, you know, again, Sessions 1, 2, and 3, Steps 1, 2, and 3, Discover, Confront, and Shed, are out there. So take a look at them on our Shed the Bitch TV YouTube channel or on Shedding the Bitch Facebook page. Okay, so today, today, oh, it's so much fun. Today is all about creating, because just think about it. Think of the last time— it could have been 5 minutes ago, could have been last week, could have been, you know, 10 years ago— the last time where you really, um, kind of had a stirring of something new happening, of something different, something bigger, something better. You— and you've let things go that weren't working for you anymore, that weren't serving you anymore. And the next thing you know, you, you, you might have even said, okay, I'm going to start with a, you know, a blank piece of paper, and I'm going to start kind of creating anything it is that I want. I have the opportunity to do that. We have that opportunity each and every day. And oftentimes I will work with, um, business owners and even corporate professionals who have been doing what they're doing for a really long time, and then all of a sudden they're like Yeah, this isn't, this isn't like rocking my world anymore. And I, you know, I need to figure this out and I need to kind of uncover, discover what it is that I really want to be doing. And the next thing you know, they are starting off with a blank piece of paper. I did that in 2008. You know, it started actually the Monday after Thanksgiving in 2007, when all of a sudden I'm standing in the middle of a parking lot with a pink slip in my hand and my one single box of my 25-year career. Saying to myself, what the hell just happened and where do I go from here? And that— what I, what I deemed to be a horrifying, terrifying, frustrating, angry, unhappy, you know, time in my life actually was exactly what I needed to kind of be able to turn the page, have a blank piece of paper, not even with lines on it, and and say, okay, now what? And we have that opportunity. You have that opportunity each and every day. It's just a matter of you really discovering it, confronting it, and then making those decisions like we talked about yesterday in regards to what you're going to let go and what you're going to hold on to and move forward with. So it is exciting, exciting, exciting. So let me step back a minute and just share with you briefly, um, a little bit from my story., when it comes to creating. Um, and again, you'll go back to Discover, Confront, and Shed to learn the other pieces that I've been sharing with you, um, regarding my story. But as I said, I kind of, you know, left that parking lot that day, the Monday after Thanksgiving, and thought, holy crap, what just happened? And, you know, where do I go from here? What do I do? And, you know, without repeating the story, um, you know, going through and spending the next several weeks, several months, even like a year or so, um, kind of really reconciling, you know, who am I, who do I want to be, who do I not want to be especially, and what do I want, what do I truly, truly want. And for any of you that are even, um, kind of at a point of, God, but I've been working on this for so long, I don't want to give up on it, or, you know, I think it's the right thing but I'm not really sure, or Or I don't know who my ideal client is, and I don't know what that messaging needs to look like. And I think I can serve every— So all of those questions of doubting yourself and creating that anxiety and that confusion around what I'm doing right now, is it the right thing? Is it what I'm supposed to be doing? Is it my purpose? Is it my legacy? Is it my why? All I'm gonna share with you right now is suggest to you, be okay with what— wherever you are right now. Be okay with it. Had, you know, had I known that on that day, you know, standing in that parking lot, that my whole journey would take so many twists and turns, but wonderful ones. So many. And where I thought I was and what I was going to be doing back in 2008 is certainly not what I'm doing in 2021. So let me give you an idea. So in 2008, leaving this high-powered corporate executive universe that I lived in for 25, 30 years, uh, you know, it just naturally felt like, okay, so I'm supposed to go off. And I knew I wasn't going to go back to corporate. I'm just going to go off and I'm going to now consult with other corporate companies. It's been— it's what I've done. It's what I know. It's, you know, you cut me and, you know, and I bleed corporate and retail and technology and consulting. And so it's a natural fit. Right. And so for the first year, as a matter of fact, for any of those who think that you threw away money and, you know, and you're not doing what you, you know, spend a lot of money to do, stay tuned. So I went off and I immediately knew that I was going to start a consulting company. I was going to throw in coaching there, but didn't really understand exactly what that might look like. But consulting, absolutely. So I went off, changed my LinkedIn profile. Came up with this name, The Boas Group, because, you know, even, you know, at the time I was 7 or 8, I want, you know, I aspire to be like this mega, mega corporate leader, you know, and, and global, global powerhouse. And therefore I needed a kind of a corporate, formal, polished, global-sounding brand. And so I established The Boas Group. Group, meaning that I could grow, you know, as big as I, as I wanted. And I went off and I spent tens of thousands of dollars, tens of thousands of dollars on marketing, on websites, on, um, on, uh, uh, marketing materials, collateral, everything from a business card to a trifold that was beautiful, that had all this great you know, imagery on it. And my website was glamorous and polished, and, and, um, all my photographs— I went, you know, on numerous photo shoots to get all these very, you know, polished corporate, corporate-looking, consulting-looking, um, images. And so I went off into 2008, uh, you know, with this goal of starting this consulting conglomerate and serving corporate executives and corporate businesses. And I found myself kind of delay and delay and avoiding, avoiding really doing the work. Now, initially I did decide that I wasn't going to prospect initially for like 6 to 9 months because I wanted to build a network. So when I went into a corporate client, if they needed something or asked for a certain expertise that I didn't have, I could say, oh, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I have someone I can bring in under the Boas Group that can support you. And so I did intentionally do that. But even after that, in 2008, when all hell broke loose as well, I didn't really go running to where I knew I could be making a great deal of money, you know, in doing corporate consulting. Instead, I recognized through the recession that, oh my gosh, these small businesses need help. And yes, I was going to have them, you know, not focus on the recession and invest in hiring me to do their work and build their business despite everything going on around them. And I was very successful in doing that. And so I found myself in 2009 saying, hmm, I'm not really addressing the corporate. I'm still going through my shedding, the shedding the bitch process. And in 2009, I found myself still under the Bose group and yet still avoiding corporate, my natural 25-year background. And moving further into 2010, I'd already decided— I confronted my bitch. You can go back to the other sessions to hear about that. I confronted that. I started working on shedding that, and I found myself all of a sudden noticing that I wasn't really congruent with my brand, the Boas Group, and with what the work that I was doing here. I was shifting and changing and growing, going after something, wanting something new and different, bigger and better. And it definitely wasn't, you know, corporate consulting coaching in the way that I had, you know, initiated it to be in 2008 and 2009. So, um, I found myself at the end of 2009, maybe early 2010, and I was doing a public speaking, um, engagement, uh, and the host of it was— happens to be a colleague friend, a friend of mine. And I handed her my very beautiful polished bio to introduce me, very, you know, corporate, very all my accomplishments, certifications, awards, you name it. And I hand it to her, and, you know, literally as I'm about to get up, you know, to kind of follow the introduction, and she looks at the, the bio, she tears— she rolls it up and throws it away and says, I'm not using this, you know, this isn't her. All you need to know about Bernadette Boas is she's a ball of fire. That's all you need to know. Come on up, Bernadette. I have to tell you, if you've ever had this this type of experience before. The moment she used those words and described me as a ball of fire— and Nancy, if you're watching this, the moment— or I'm sorry, Lori, Lori, the moment, um, the, the moment she mentioned this, um, every hair on my body stood up. Every hair on my body. And I said, that is my brand. That is who I am. I am a ball of fire. And so I literally, after my, you know, my speech and after, you know, the whole networking event was over, um, I sat down and I went to GoDaddy because at the time you could just like buy up everything. So I went to GoDaddy and I bought up everything that had to do with ball of fire. And that all of a sudden sent me into a whole new direction, whole new area of focus, whole new excitement, whole new why. And the who I was serving and then how I was going to serve them. And so, you know, as you're going through very challenging times, very trying times, very questionable times, maybe you're— you are doubting yourself, you're stuck, frustrated, anxious, not really happy and kind of comfortable where you are, and you're working your way from discovering to confronting and shedding. Trust me when I say The create phase can send you to the stratosphere and can be the most exciting, exhilarating thing that you've ever experienced. So let me kind of fast forward through a couple things. So in right around this time, I'm shifting out of the Boas Group, out of this formal polished— I threw away $20,000, $25,000 worth of marketing materials and website and all this content. And I kind of reinvested another $25,000 to kind of do everything all over again. And immediately when I recognized the alignment to that brand, the Ball of Fire, as who I am, and therefore what my business name was going to be, the approach I was going to be taking, it changed and, and made everything so clear. Kind of the marketing messages, the services and products, the way I wanted to serve other people, and even then, how was I going to do that? But at the same time, I was going through the shedding process, recognizing that I needed to figure out a way to apologize for 25 years of my life of being this nasty individual. And so I also had been working on writing my book. But the creating phase, step 4, the creating phase— I would have never have imagined that it would have taken me from not only finding my, my true brand or my true passion of Ball of Fire versus the Boas Group, this very formal, polished that I was before. But that my need to apologize in such a global way, as far as writing a book, also would then send me off into kind of turning that into a brand of its own and my business as it— of its own, and a radio show that I've been doing for now 10, 12 years. And then that took me into a, you know, 76 titles to my book publishing company under the Shedding the Bitch brand. And then All of a sudden in 2016, I'm being asked to turn my book into a film script, script. And then, so I'm writing a screenplay, which I'm not a screenwriter. So I said, I mean, this create phase, if you embrace it, it can be the most exciting, exhilarating, empowering phase to your journey, to your own journey, whether that is in business or in life. So As you, you know, go through steps 1, 2, and 3 of discovering, confronting, and shedding, and maybe there are some fears and insecurities and doubts and uncertainties and reluctance and apprehension and, oh, you know, just questioning, questioning, questioning, just recognize like the old things go. When one, you know, door closes, another door opens. When one window closes, another window opens. Oh my gosh, it's so true. It is so true. If you had told me, you know, 10, 12 years ago that I'd be podcasting and speaking and writing and serving, you know, women around the globe and, and kind of lit, you know, living my, my true, true passion and my true, true heart. I would have, you know, I would have told that robot, and I would have told you, because if you go back a couple days, you know, I talked about how I just felt like a robot for 25 years, um, previously. And I would have just said, you're full of it. You're just absolutely full of it. Um, so this creating phase, you know, goes way beyond just kind of, you know, sitting back and daydreaming, although we're going to talk about that in a second. It, it just go— you know, it goes to so many other things. And when I look across all the clients that I've had since 2008 and all their transformations and all of their creation and all of their growth And I even look at, and I even look at past corporate colleagues of mine and even bosses or mentors of mine and where life had taken them, and them all of a sudden discovering, confronting, and shedding, you know, what they all of a sudden realize is not in their path and not in their line of, you know, their legacy goals and dreams. It is just so— oh, it's just so not inspiring. It's bigger than that. It's just so glorious to see, you know, how— what people create for themselves when they actually kind of go through the hard knocks, go through the work, go through that transformation journey. Um, and whether it's a blank piece of paper that they start creating on, or it's just a shifting, you know, and a blending of, of where they already were Um, it's just, you know, absolutely, absolutely fabulous. And that's what I want for you. That's exactly what I want for you. Um, so how can you go in about doing that? How can you go about, you know, creating what it is, um, that you want? Uh, there's a number of things that I work with my clients on that I thought I would share with you. Um, one of them we'll go through, you know, quickly because it's actually, it's a session, multiple sessions all on its own, and multiple coaching work that I do all on its own. But we'll talk about how if you, if that's something that you're interested in, we can certainly, um, I can certainly support you in that. But so one of the first things I, I'll work with on, with my clients on is in this creation, creation phase Define your Victory Plan is what I call it. Turn your vision into victorious achievement through your Victory Plan. Now, Victory is an acronym. You know I love acronyms. Uh, Victory is an acronym and it stands for Vision, Inspiration, Compromises and Consequences, um, Truth, Overcoming, and Opportunities. Regrets and rewards, and then the why, which I'm not going to share with you just yet. So let me walk real quickly, um, through each of those. So the V being vision is— this is your opportunity to take this blank piece of paper and make it whatever you want it to be. And this is the opportunity— I'll often have, um, vision boards. You can see mine behind me, and I'll touch on that in a second. But I'll have vision board parties, bring, you know, friends over— well, used to bring friends over, you know, throw out, you know, 100 magazines on the table, a bunch of posters, you know, we'll just get busy and have a blast of a time, you know, finding those things that really touch on what is the vision that we have for ourselves. Where are we going? What do we want in our lives? And so, but what I will have them do is initially just sit back, close their eyes, and just daydream like you were a 7-year-old looking up at the stars. You know, what does your life, you know, look like? What do you want it to be? What do you want it to look like, feel like, smell like, taste like, hear like, or sound like? Um, you know, all of those things. Um, and as you're kind of creating that visual, maybe it's in the mountains, or maybe it's on the beach, maybe it's in another country, maybe it's in your backyard, Maybe it's, you know, in the house that you're in, very different. You know, you renovate the house, whatever the case might be. Maybe it's you're single now and you want to be in a relationship. Maybe it's, you know, you have some money but you really want to leave a legacy of some financial stability. Maybe it's the fact that you want to write a book, you want to tell your story. You might even go as crazy as I did and, you know, want to share, share that story via a book, via a podcast, via a film or TV script, uh, via whatever, and just give yourself that opportunity. Give yourself that opportunity to just lay back and just, you know, create. And then, as, as I'm very visual, so you'll see me staring up a lot. So, and as you're, you know, kind of creating and visualizing, um, you know, then kind of listen for what words, what uh, scripture, what statements, what quotes, um, what, you know, stories really reflect what it is that you would love to create in your life. And, you know, and as you're going, you could be laying back and visualizing all of this and even coming up with those words and those scriptures and those statements and whatnot, but recall them so then you can document them. You can grab your journal and pen and start scribbling away, or maybe you have a you know, your phone recorder. Um, maybe you're even videotaping yourself just for you. Uh, but you know, in some way, shape, or form, you're just, uh, kind of creating what it is that you want for yourself. Uh, and you're— so you— so the vision is all about that. Okay, and maybe you get to the point where you pull it out and put it on a vision board. So this vision board is something that I did Well, okay, there you can't really probably see it, but there's actually two vision boards in this one vision board. There's this poster right here, and this is from 2018— no, I'm sorry, 2019, 2019. Um, and it simply had my film over here, my film script over here, had some fashion because I was really a, a slug. I needed some new fashion. It had my fitness has my house and what I really wanted from my home perspective. It had, um, it had up in the left-hand corner is all about my faith, and then in the middle is about finances, financial security, stability. Okay, but then in 2020, at the beginning before we got locked down, I had some girlfriends over and I wanted to expand on what my vision was in 2019 that still touched on my film and where my film was progressing. And it was getting to the point where now I was kind of really identifying who I would want in it, who I'd want to produce it, who I'd want to invest in it, that kind of thing. And then I, you know, added my puppy Love down here. I even added Oprah. She's over here in the bottom corner. She'd be perfect for investing or producing in the film. I put a man— you can't see that. But there's a man over here because I continue to be single, and, um, I finally decided that I was going to declare that I would love to find, um, the significant other, uh, you know. And I know he's out there somewhere. And then I continue with some things about my house still and some things about prosperity and abundance, uh, and so I just expanded. So that's one thing you could do when it comes to your vision, the V. The I is inspiration, really thinking about who, what, where, and how inspires you. You're going to then move on to say, okay, what am I willing to compromise, sacrifice, and what consequences would I have by not pursuing my own goals and dreams? Okay, so compromises, consequences, and even sacrifices. And then the T is for truth. What is my truth? So many of us are hesitant to kind of declare, own their vision, their, you know, what it is that they really want, because they think, oh well, you know, people are going to think I'm nuts, maybe I won't, you know, achieve it, so forth and so on. So, but your truth is your truth, so be truthful to you yourself, be honest with yourself, be okay. You don't have to go and share it with the world like I do. You don't have to go share it with the world, but you have to be truthful to yourself. Then you move on to over— what do you need to overcome? So recognize proactively right up front, what are my challenges? What are my limiting beliefs? What are those skills and expertise I don't have that I might need? So forth and so on. So what are those things proactively that you need to overcome? Because then you can come up with the solutions to them. But what are also my opportunities? What are those things that I'm bringing to the table that now I have an opportunity to, to go after and contribute to my vision because of X, Y, and Z. So what are my opportunities is the O. And then your R is both regrets and rewards. So what am I going to regret if I don't go after this? What am I going to regret if I give up on myself? What am I going to regret if I, you know, I don't want to use the word fail, but if I choose, um, to not do the work, to not show up, to not be truly, you know, true to myself? Um, what am I going to regret? But also, what are my rewards? What am I going to gain by taking those risks, overcoming those limiting beliefs or challenges, and really doing the work and showing up? What are those rewards I'm going to get for myself? And then the why. And the why is you. None of those things will happen if you're not fully committed, if you're not fully built in and bought in and committed to what it is that you want for yourself and what it is that you want for your life. So the why is you. Now the others— the second phase to that would be then take that vision and turn it into your goals. Turn it into your goals and turn it into even your SMART goals, what I call SMART goals. And if you want, I won't take time here, I had just had a Powerhouse Maverick training session over on our Powerhouse Maverick, uh, private Facebook group all around goals and the SMARTIE methodology of defining your goals. So take a look over there, um, join the group and take a look at that, um, that session as well. It's a 30-minute session about around SMARTY goals. Okay, so between your Victory Plan and your goals, that's what's going to create, create your new now and give you that confidence and clarity and focus and determination and persistence to really go and pursue and achieve anything that you want to achieve in this life. So step 4, after discovering, confronting, and shedding, opens up the Pandora's box of opportunities for you. To go after with gusto. Okay. So lastly, I want to leave you with sharing that if you are interested in any way, shape, or form in really wanting to do additional work and have support and have some coaching one-on-one especially, and have some accountability and have some cheerleading and sounding board and strategies and tips and guidance through your own, um, you know, journey in your business or in your life, then schedule a Powerhouse session with me where all we're going to do is we're going to discuss, um, you know, what your goals are, what your challenges are, what the opportunities are, what you need, and see if it's a fit. Our Discover You Immersion is a 3-month or 90-day one-on-one and group coaching program that provides you with training, coaching, mentoring, sounding board, uh, flash coaching, which is really just working on one situation. It includes 911 calls. It includes a support system and a framework with content and methodology that will set you up for great success in, you know, going after the goals you have or creating new ones and really achieving what it is that you want. So, um, it's not a fit for everybody, and therefore, uh, I, I do set up these Powerhouse sessions, and I open up a certain number of slots each month for, uh, Powerhouse sessions where we can see if it's a fit. And it's a fit, woohoo! If it's not, woohoo! You'll get some tips and strategies and, uh, things that you're going to be able to walk away with and start implementing in your work and life immediately. All right, so you can go to tiny www.bernadetteboas.cc/powerhousesession to schedule a 30-minute, no-obligation, one-on-one coaching call with me, and, um, we'll take it from there. Okay, um, besides that, we'll finish up tomorrow with the fifth step to shed your bitches, which will be all around, um, accelerating where you— where you're going. Accelerating where you've been and accelerating where you're going. And, um, that will wrap up 5 steps for you to shed your bitches so you can create the riches in life that you deserve. Okay, we'll be right back here, and, um, I look forward to seeing you then. Bye everybody, take care.