Bernadette BoasExecutive Leadership Coach, Trainer and Speaker, Ball of Fire Coaching · Become the Leader Everyone Wants to Follow and No One Can Overlook.

Stop Chasing Goals & Start Becoming Who You Are!

5 Feb 2026 · 2 min

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1:55

In this interview excerpt, Speaker A asks Speaker B about the idea that the most important question is not "what do I need to do to achieve my goals?" but rather "who am I becoming?" Speaker B explains that she previously measured success with finite, numeric metrics, which caused her to ignore the journey. As an entrepreneur, leader, and woman, she realized that the process of self‑discovery, including failures, mistakes, and the resilience required, holds far more value than any single milestone. She describes a conscious shift in mindset: focusing on how she frames failures, reshaping goals into intentions that prioritize the process, learning, and the development of "muscle memory" for future challenges. This reframing gives her confidence and stability for higher aspirations, because each misstep becomes a source of growth rather than a setback.

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What I loved when I did background on you is you also talk about the fact that the most important question isn't what do I need to do to achieve my goals? It's actually who am I becoming? Yes. So does that stem from all of this work that you have done?
And like, I think the way that I was measuring the metric of success Right? It became so finite. It became, what is the number? What is like a finite point that I was focusing on? I stopped focusing on the journey that it took me to get there. And as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, as a leader, as a woman, the journey of self-discovery, the failures and the mistakes and what they teach you about yourself There is so much more in that than accomplishing the milestone moment. And we don't look at that process. We don't give it enough credit, but that's everything. Like, like the discipline and the tenacity and the res— of res— of resilience that was required, required in order to achieve the thing that you achieved. That's the heart of it all. And so I just started shifting my mindset of like, How am I focusing and how am I framing my failures? How am I reshaping the goals and the intentions that I'm setting myself to focus on the process, to focus on the journey, to focus on each misstep along the way and what that taught me and how that made me better and how that programmed a muscle memory in me. So when I go to accomplish and achieve the next thing, when I set the goal to be even higher. I have that learned experience behind me, giving me the confidence and the stability knowing that I can achieve it.