Stop Shorting Your People What They Need to Succeed

We're going to get back into performance reviews. We had a discussion around this, the fact that performance reviews don't have to suck. They don't have to be hard. They don't have to be challenging. So you can always go back to episode 370 anywhere you get your podcast, or you can go to ballofirecoaching.com/podcast and check out episode 370. But since then, it is performance review period. And I am getting a lot of feedback from my clients or from just individuals, professionals that I'm speaking to on a daily basis, that they're really walking away from their performance reviews very dejected, not because of what is in the review, but more so what is not. So I want to dive into exactly what it is your people— as a manager, your people are feeling and experiencing. We talked about what you could be doing in order to make those performance reviews more effective, but we're going to get into that again and then really lay out some tips and strategies that you can and should be using in order to ensure just what you want from your own manager in order for you to be successful, meaning good feedback, constructive feedback, areas for improvement, where you're doing a great job. Your people do too. And yet I have to say, so far the report card does not look good. So I want to get into all of that with you. Stay with us. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Shading the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms female corporate executives into powerhouse leaders. By showing them how to shed the challenges and overwhelm along with any fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negativity holding them back. I'm your host, Bernadette Boas of Ball of Fire Coaching, bringing you powerhouse discussions each week to share tips, advice, and sometimes tough love so you create the riches in your work and life you deserve. Here's the problem. Your people are coming to you whether that is day in and day out or it's intentional. Maybe they've scheduled a call with you or it's even more structured and formal and required. And that is during performance review time periods, whether that's beginning of the year, mid-year, maybe you do quarterly, which would be fabulous. But they're coming to those because trust me, they don't like them any more than you do. But they also know how vital they are in order for them to really understand where they stand in your eyes, in the team's eyes, in the company's eyes. And at the same time, they want to know. They may not openly go, "Yeah, give me feedback," especially if it's bad. At the same time, they do want to know where they're succeeding, where their strengths are, and how they're being utilized or where they could be utilized, as well as where are they struggling and where is their potential and where is the opportunities that they're not necessarily maybe taking advantage of and leveraging that would then make their contribution, their value, their importance to you and the team and the company that much more successful. We all want security. We all want to know that we're adding value and there's a contribution that we're making. But they can't know that if they're showing up at their performance reviews and they're being handed a piece of paper that simply has a rating on it and they're told, okay, you did a great job, you did an acceptable job, a satisfactory job, a distinctive job, an exceptional job, sign here. And there's nothing else backing that up. And trust me, even the exceptionals, they want to understand why, because that's their opportunity to actually get the appreciation and the recognition, even if it's just from you, their manager, let alone if it is advocated or discussed, even publicized into a broader group. They want to know, and it's your job to make sure they know. And yet I'll tell you, the last couple of months, even in the preparation of performance reviews, has been very disappointing to hear the feedback from more so the employees regarding their managers. But understand something, I also work with the managers who also are saying that same thing about their own manager. And this is what we discussed a few episodes back, episode 370. Go check it out. Something about performance reviews don't have to suck. And they have the same want and need. And unfortunately, it's turned into they have the same complaint. So you need to figure out, and I'm here to help, but you need to figure out, okay, what can you be doing differently better, newer, broader in order to ensure that your people are receiving the information that they need in order to be successful. Because it's a win-win if they're feeling fulfilled. Good, bad, or indifferent information coming to them, but they feel fulfilled. They feel as if, okay, you know what, that wasn't easy, that wasn't fun. But you know what? I now know what I need to be working on. We're not even talking going as far as having to do any formal assessments, like a 360 assessment. This is the performance review. This is a sit-down feedback type of conversation that can be scheduled at any time, even outside the formality of beginning of the year or mid-year performance reviews. And so I'll give you a few examples. Let me share a couple of you know, stories that helped me understand even in my own career, one being an employee that I then, you know, set expectations with my manager or being that manager who then needed to share feedback with the people. And maybe that'll help also for you to see how easy it can be. Yes, it is time-consuming. We talked about that before. Yes, it is time-consuming. Yes. You have a, you know, small team, you have a big team, and oh my gosh, I have to take, you know, half hour, an hour, 90 minutes with each one of them. Yes, you do. Because again, that 90 minutes, that hour, that 30 minutes can turn into someone who's elevating their skill set, elevating their contribution, their value. More so, they're making you more successful because they have what they need to then take on more responsibility, more projects, more initiatives that maybe you've been trying to figure out how you can open up white space on your own schedule. And therefore you can feel confident when you go to delegate, not dump, but delegate, because you now have a good understanding between yourself and your employee as far as where their strengths and where their areas of improvement are. And where their contributions have been and where they have the capability to do so, capability to contribute even more so. And that's also what they want to know, especially if they're falling short in your eyes, maybe even in the, in the team or the company's eyes. They want to give more. They want to give more. And if they don't, then you have a problem employee. And that's for another conversation. Okay. All right. So a couple of stories was I really learned this lesson, this pain of not getting feedback in two ways. One is I was in my, probably my early to mid-20s, and I was working with a very, very difficult boss. Now, you know, it came easy to him to give feedback, but it was yelling and screaming, and it was always negative. It was never, never, ever, ever, ever positive. And one day I just had enough. I just had enough. Not about the yelling and the screaming and whatnot. I kind of learned to tune that out. And unfortunately, many employees do when they have what I'll call a bully boss. So I would tune that out. But What I was getting like absolutely frustrated with is all the information he was giving me was not valuable. It was not something I could use to go and then just figure out what I needed to change and what did I needed to work on and improve on or continue if he ever did throw something in there around the, you know, the positive skills or the really, you know, strong skills that I had. But it wasn't valuable, wasn't usable. And therefore, I really just continued to kind of not even struggle. I didn't struggle, but I went down my own path. I kind of, you know, got to the point where I did totally tune him out and just said, you know what, I'm going to be a lone wolf and just do it my way. And that created, you know, issues of its own. But I just walked away from that whole experience. And I probably worked with him for about 2 and a half years. And I just walked away from it with the lesson that I needed feedback. I'm very hard on myself. I'm very open to feedback of all kinds, especially if it's negative, because I want to improve. I used to be a perfectionist, not so much anymore, but I am always seeking input from other people as far as what I know now to be— what is their experience with me and what am I contributing and what am I— values and strengths and contributions, but also my weaknesses and my areas of improvement. So that whole experience with Ken really set me out to say, okay, you know what? You need to learn to not follow that example when it comes to, you know, whether it's peers, bosses, or even people working for me. So I really got on the train of feedback, not necessarily just at performance review time, but during, you know, throughout the year, making sure that when something happened, I spoke to that person, whether it was about a good thing or a bad thing. When someone needed correction, I made sure it happened right away. I just learned that it was much easier to have that conversation because again, back in episode 370, we talked about the fact that Performance reviews are just conversations. And unfortunately, what I'm finding is over the last several months, even let alone over the years, is that managers just continue to not take the time. Again, go back to 370 and you can hear all about that. But I just learned that I would need to take the time. I would need to put in the effort. I would need to be intentional about it. Because I owe it to that individual. I wanted it so bad, and therefore if I want it, other people want it. Okay, so that was my first experience. And as much as it was very challenging, that work environment, you know, a bully boss with Ken, he taught me a great, a great, a great deal of lessons, uh, that I took with me. And unfortunately, some of them I dragged with me and followed suit on. But that's, again, that's for another conversation. The second one, which is what changed my whole world, literally changed everything about my life and my work, let alone my view on what managers are responsible and what they're obligated to do and provide to their employees. So my mentor of 12 years, who I adored then, I still adore, just in a different way. And I have a great deal of respect for his talent and his intelligence and what he's done while he was in corporate. And he's been out on his own for a while now, but I still hold a lot of respect and regard for him. However, Again, I got my vision cleared and took him off a pedestal when, if you know my story and what Shedding the Corporate Bitch is all about, at the time that he and I was fired, I was fired from my corporate job, from my executive corporate job, and I spent time kind of reflecting on it. The one thing that just killed me, and your employees could be feeling this too, one thing that killed me is he never told me. He never provided the feedback as far as how detrimental by that point my leadership style had come, how the scales had tipped as far as, yes, I was a massive producer and a huge contributor, strategic, creative individual. However, the tips had scaled to the fact that I was becoming more and more of that bully boss I never wanted to become and I never wanted to work for in the past. He never sat me down and said, Bernadette, these are the wonderful things that you do and these are the great things that, you know, you've contributed. These are your capabilities and and really where I see your growth to be. But these issues need to be addressed in order for that to happen. That kind of conversation never happened because I'm the type of person that if it does and if I'm given that type of feedback, I'm going to make corrections, I'm going to make adjustments and shifts. But because I was such a massive producer and so I want you to be thinking about your people. Are they such massive producers? Are they such warm bodies in a chair? Are they such doers and task completers to where that's just enough for you and it's helping you so you don't need to give any more to making sure they are getting what they need and they are, are happy? With what— not only what they're working on, what they're contributing, and how valuable they are, but the relationship with you. It was the hardest thing for me to overcome through that experience was the fact that I never received that feedback. Now, I didn't need the accolades. I didn't need the recognition. And trust me when I say 99% of your people are not looking for the pat on the back. They're looking for the thank yous. They're looking for the attaboys. They're looking for, here's areas that I know you're capable of achieving and doing, but yet you're falling short or you haven't looked for that opportunity or been given that opportunity. I'll tell you, you start doing that even in the smallest scale, meaning even if, okay, 5-minute, 10-minute, 15-minute touch bases, if an hour or 90 minutes is too much. If it's just a brief email that gets shot out, if it's just a— when you see them or you're on a call with them, you call them out and recognize them. Whatever the case might be, they want the feedback. Okay? They want the feedback. You owe them and are responsible for giving them what it is that they need in order to be successful. And you don't want Someone like myself, who 14 years later, 15 years later, still feels that— what I'll call betrayal— of not giving me the opportunity to make the changes that would have saved my career, my corporate career. I have a fabulous one now, and I'm very grateful for everything that did happen. However, that said, you don't want your employees feeling that. You don't want to feel that from your own boss. All right. So let's talk about some tips. Let's talk about some things that are beyond what we talked about in episode 370 that you can start really considering and starting to implement in order to ensure that your people are being given the type of feedback that they need in order to be successful, but more so, what you could be doing to, to then approach your boss around what you need and what you want from them so you too can be successful. All right. So that brings me to the first tip is consider what you want to need. And if some of this is repetitive from our last discussion, so be it. So be it. All right. Be okay with that. If you've listened to that one, thank you very much. And if you're back for this one, But consider that these things take repeating, but we should be looking at some new things. So, but consider what you want to need, like literally sit down and write out what type of information do you want from your boss, but you also need, because those things could be different. Those things can be different. I have clients that they really want the information around how they can move to the next level, what it is that they need in order to be invited to the table. Others want information for correction, for improvement, for growth. Then, but what you need might be different. What you need might be those things that just kind of ensure that the role and the responsibility that you have right now is being maximized and optimized the way it's supposed to be. So you at least, you come in at satisfactory, let alone exceed or distinctive or any other type of level. So your want could be different than your need. So you have an idea of what it is you want and need, and that can become your outline of what you can expect your people want and need. The next tip, though, would be ask them, you know, and that's a 5-minute conversation. You could be, you know, when your performance reviews need to be done at the beginning of the year, mid-year, roughly what month. Some it goes into the year very too far and some, you know, are good at kicking off at the beginning of the year, but 5 minutes. So what do you need and want in the feedback that I'm going to provide you from your performance review? Not, you know, you want a good mark, but But what is the type of information that you need that will be beneficial to you understanding your contribution, your role, your, your purpose in your role? All right. So that would be the first. And again, the first is understanding your want and need, actually. And then the second one is take 5 minutes to find out from them what it is they want to need. Because the other thing too, I'll add this. The other thing too is People on your team receive information in very different ways. And therefore, you also want to understand what they want and need as far as the type of feedback, the approach, literally the words used, the structure of it, meaning they want to hear about where they really excelled and They then want to get into, okay, what could they have done better or differently, or where is a gap? Maybe they need a lot of examples and a lot of facts to back up the feedback, whereas other people, if you were to give them feedback, good or bad, they just take it as it is and they move forward with any type of action plans you might have put together. But others, they do need, especially if you are familiar with disc styles at all. And if you're not, that's okay. You can always reach out to me and we could talk about it. But, you know, there are various personality styles who require very high level and then some very deep level of, of information. So consider what you want to need first and then find out from them in a 5-minute conversation. Put it on your calendar, you know, a month out, whatever, from when you have to start writing performance reviews or feedback and make sure you understand what they want to need as well. And then structure the talking points, structure your thoughts around this individual. You know, talk about what— well, first off, you really want to make a note and make sure that you get from them their input or their assessment of themselves first. And again, you probably have something written down, and they probably have done their performance review, their self-assessment performance review already. But you can even go kind of put that aside and just simply have a conversation. So how do you think that you did this past 6 months, this past month, this past year? And, you know, where do you feel your greatest value and contribution? And could you give me some examples? Where did you struggle? Like, and where did you struggle and what could have been done differently from you and from others around you? So just really ensure that you're getting their input long before you jump into yours. We've talked about the fact that you want to be asking questions, not necessarily making statements. Performance reviews are structured around, you know, an assessment, and therefore there's a lot of commentary. A lot of statements on their document. But at the same time, it could be a lot of questions around, here are my observations of your contribution, where you really stepped up or where you did have some challenges. And I just want to have a conversation around it. So get their input first and then, you know, think about structuring your talking points in where their strengths were, their successes were, their accomplishments, any type of over and above what they were expected to do, and then go into where they're capable. Now, where they're capable should come in before you start talking about where they struggled or how— where they have challenges or what areas of improvement there are. You could be having such an easy conversation If you just talked about, I just see so much potential in you, and I see so much capability for you to X, Y, and Z, and based on your successes and your accomplishments, that's why I see this. Trust me, all of a sudden, this person who might have come in nervous, you're nervous as the manager, all of a sudden starts to relax. And then you can say, I just want to be sure, though, that we do talk about some areas for you to focus on and for you to work on and improve on. Then go into your areas of improvement before you then start saying, here are some ideas that I have around some actions you could be taking. What do you think? What are your ideas? What are your suggestions? So this is before you're actually having the conversation. But I find that majority of managers struggle and therefore hand a piece of paper to somebody and ask them to just read it and sign it because they just are unsure of themselves and feel a bit insecure about how to present it, how to structure it to where it's effective for not only themselves but also the other person. All right. So you can have that structure, make notes, bullet. Ask for their insights, their own assessments before you get into their successes, their capabilities, their areas for improvement, ideas, or action plan. And then specifically, OK, next steps. What are we going to do next? What would you like us to do as far as kind of touching base on any kind of changes or any type of areas that you're going to be focusing on? Should we meet? In a week, next month. Don't hold it off more than that and just get your structure down. All right. And then when you're going into the conversation again, using that structure, it kind of lays out exactly what you need to have the conversation about. And therefore, you know, you might walk in and say, all right, the objective of today's conversation, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, don't assume that because it's performance review, it's performance review. Because that is, for most managers I talk to, that is the one time, maybe every 6 months, sometimes once a year, that they actually sit down and have concentrated time with one person, as opposed to always having them in a team environment. Sad and not really what a strong leader should be doing with their people, but it's what happens at times. So you really kind of want to make sure that they understand what it is you want to accomplish in that time together. And if you even do it on a regular basis, you know, this is what I'd like to— for us to accomplish today. What are your thoughts? What would you like to accomplish in our conversation? Even if it's a 15-minute scheduled conversation. Like, make sure you're both on the same page. Always ensuring that you're both aligned in the conversation you're about to have, even if it's going to be difficult, just takes the pressure off. And then both parties realize this is just a conversation. It's not the big man or woman on one side of the desk and the small little employee on the other side of the desk. It's, you know, we're here, we work together. On common goals. We both want each other to be successful, so let's have a conversation about it. Okay, so you're going in, you're structuring it with the objectives of that discussion, and then you might even kind of walk them into— if it's going to be a challenging review, say you do have a very difficult review to give to someone, give them a heads up in that initial introduction into the conversation. You might say, I want you to know this is going to be a difficult conversation, and I'm very uncomfortable at the moment, and I'm sure you may or may not be. However, our goal and objective is to make this successful for everyone, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right. And then you get into leveraging that structure. You get into the conversation again, you use that structure. It sounds arduous and involved and complicated and time-consuming to put together. It can be done for a 5-minute conversation or an hour conversation. Don't use it— use that as an excuse because you're just not accustomed or comfortable with a proposed structure around how you approach your performance reviews. All right. And then get into the conversation. But there's no reason for individuals coming to, like, folks like myself, external, you know, coaches, consultants, maybe another team member or another manager in another area of the business. There's no reason for your people to be going and complaining to them and raising up concern or issue or frustration or feeling unworthy or unimportant, there's no reason for them to be going to anybody else to, to voice that frustration when it's so easy to be solved. And so when you listen to this episode, and especially if it's live, it's still early in a year and therefore performance reviews continue and performance reviews are even in some of my client companies being written, and therefore just make a decision as a leader, not a so-so manager, but a leader, that you want to ensure you're giving your people what they need to be successful. And if you struggle in any way, shape, or form, as I mentioned each and every time we get together, then you just need to get a conversation with me. Let me help you kind of put that structure in place for you, whether it is going to be a 10, 15-minute regular type of feedback cadence that you want to get on, or it's that more involved hour, 90-minute conversation for the formal performance review at the beginning or the middle of the year. Book a call with me and let's get you really focused on providing your people what they need, because again, it's a win-win. They get what they need in the form of feedback from you. Thank you. Attaboy. You're capable of much more, but you know, you're falling short here. Or a much more involved discussion. But it's a win-win. They'll walk away. Maybe they'll be disappointed in some of the feedback, but at least they know. I wish I knew. I wish I knew. I'm not angry about it anymore. I'm more kind of exasperating the experience from 14 years ago. But it's still, it's still there. And therefore it'll never happen to anybody who works with me, for me, or that I work for, because I go to my clients and ask them for feedback. It's just what we all need. We all need to know how we're doing and that we're important and that you care, that someone cares, even if it's with a little bit of, eh, a little bit of sour in it. All right. And again, book a call with me. Go to coachmebernadette.com/discoverycall and let's have a conversation. You owe it to your people, but you also owe it to yourself. Because you actually could find out that you don't have to be working as hard as you're working because you're optimizing and leveraging all the skills and talents of your people and allowing them to grow and improve and evolve and transform. And therefore it makes your job better, sometimes easier, but everybody's successful. Who wouldn't want that, right? Who wouldn't want that? But I am so unbelievably grateful that you were here for this episode. And again, I'm going to remind you, go to the episode, Performance Reviews Don't Have to Suck. It's episode 370. If you want to kind of get the intro into what really needs to be done to ensure your performance review as much as others' performance reviews are done effectively to leverage and optimize someone's talents. And then I'll look forward to having you back for another episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Thanks.