Stress, Success, and Fertility: What Every Woman and Man Needs to Know with guest, Gabriella Rosa

As a female or male leader in the workplace, is your stress impacting your health, well-being, and potential future goals such as family planning, AKA having a baby? Are you prioritizing your long-term health and fertility goals in the same way that you prioritize your career and professional development? According to our guest Gabriella Rosa of the Rosa Institute, there are significant impacts to one's health, fertility, and even their ability to lead effectively as a result of work-related stress and pressures. As a world-renowned fertility specialist, author, reproductive health educator, and Harvard University awarded scholar, Gabriella is dedicated to helping couples create healthy babies despite previous reproductive challenges and treatment failures.. And one key way is to help get any stress, pressure, and health ailments under control. Gabriella will help all of us to identify symptoms impacting work and leadership abilities and learning strategies to overcome them with better clarity, energy, and ease that will make our fertility that much more productive. Gabriella shares her own personal story that also convinced her that As a result of her taking charge of her health and fertility, as well as accepting nothing less, she didn't leave a stone unturned and she left nothing to chance. If you want happiness and success at work and in the home with a family, this is the discussion you want to take part. Stay with us.

Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms today's managers into tomorrow's powerhouse leaders. Your host, Bernadette Boas, executive coach and author, brings you into a world where the corporate grind meets personal growth and success in each and every episode. With more than 25 years in corporate trenches, Bernadette's own journey from being dismissed as a tyrant boss to becoming a sought-after leadership coach and speaker illustrates the very essence of transformation that she now inspires in others with her tips, strategies, and stories. So if you're ready to shed the bitches of fear and insecurity, ditch the imposter syndrome, and step into the role of the powerhouse leader you were born to be, this podcast is for you. Let's do this.

Gabriella, how are you? Welcome, welcome.

I feel like this was such a long time coming. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for having me.

You're welcome, and I'm excited about this conversation, not only because we're both dressed in pink.

Yay!

And we didn't even coordinate. Imagine that. Wow. Yes, telepathy.

Exactly, exactly. But at the same time, I really— I love the work that you're doing. I'm not a mother, But at the same time, you know, I do have friends and family that have struggled, and both male and female, which I think is what's going to be really powerful about this conversation, uh, is to really just talk about just the stress and the, um, symptoms, the situations both at work and at home that can create real issue for both men and women from a fertility issue. But before we get there, I like our listeners and viewers to always get to know the person that we're talking to so they can get to connect with them. So could you share with us a little bit about Gabriella?

Yeah, sure. I mean, gosh, I think that there are so many different angles from which we can go into this conversation, but I think that, you know, it's fair to say I like a lot of chocolate and weights training is definitely a big thing in my life. Those are two very defining characteristics of Gabriella, but you On a, on a more serious note, I've been helping couples overcome infertility and recurrent miscarriage literally since 2001. So as you can imagine, it has been a long time and lots of learnings. You know, we've helped now thousands of patients in every continent other than Antarctica. And I think that what has led me to where I am today and what keeps me here are very distinct things. You know, like when I first started, it was out of really not knowing what I didn't know. And, you know, the story there was that I was— my periods when I was 18 simply stopped. You know, one day it was like, okay, this is— it was meant to come now, and it didn't. And it didn't for a month and two. And I started to wonder, am I pregnant? Do I need to— you know, like, is something wrong? You know, and I had done multiple pregnancy tests and nothing was, was showing up on that level. So I'm thinking, okay, well, this is weird because my body should be cycling. It should be doing what what every woman's body does, as far as I was concerned. And so it really got me curious. I was working at the time for an obstetrician-gynecologist clinic. There was a group of them that were there, and I remember one day pulling one of the female gynecologists aside and saying, hey, you know, is there a reason why this could happen? Like, it's really strange. And of course, I felt a bit weird about seeing a doctor in that clinic because I was working there. So I went elsewhere and, you know, went to see this doctor. And said, listen, I haven't had a period in 6 months and I don't know why because I'm not pregnant. And it was this old guy who literally just like, you know, from across the table just says to me, every woman's pregnant until proven otherwise. And I'm like, okay, you're clearly not listening to me. It's like, yes, I am 18, but you have to listen to what I just told you. I am not pregnant. I have done multiple pregnancy tests. Well, let's just do some tests. And I'm like, okay. Let's. So, and I basically took the referral and he said, just call me in 2 days for the results. Okay, cool. Went, did the blood test, called in 2 days. Um, fair enough. He literally just, you know, tells me, okay, let me just tell you, you have polycystic ovarian disease. And I'm like, okay. Like, it literally, in that moment, I just stopped and I was like, what is that? Like, am I going to die? You know, like literally. So I said, is that really serious? Like, what's, what's that? And he goes, oh no, you're just probably never going to have children. I'm like, oh, okay, that's one way to give that kind of news to an 18-year-old. Thank you. Um, but from that, it really kind of springboarded into this curiosity around, okay, well, what does that mean and what can I do about it? Because I was kind of always very action-prone, you know, in my, in my young days and even to this day, just very much focused on, okay, well, what can I do about it? What is it that can actually help me in this diagnosis, you know? So I basically started learning and researching, and I had just started studying. I, my first training was as a naturopathic practitioner, and so naturopathic medicine was kind of the first approach to the, the process, you know, that led me later to develop all of the things and to, to do all of the things that I have done up until now. But that really was where it started. And I think about 5 years into what I was doing, and I already knew from the very start when I started practicing, I started working with women's health and PCOS and PMS and, you know, all of these kind of premenstrual and hormonal imbalances, uh, conditions. And that led to— because obviously where I was working at the time whilst I was studying with an obstetrician-gynecologist who was one of my very early mentors and still, you know, someone who's very special to me in my life today. And he said to me one day, what are you going to do when you finish?

You know?

And I was like, well, I think I'm going to specialize in babies, pediatrics. And he goes, that's the worst idea you've ever had. I'm like, okay, talk about being nice and motivational today, Jim. And he goes, no, really. And I said, because he was always such an encouraging dude, you know, he was always so like, yes, that's a great idea about, you know, things that I used to tell him. And he would just say— I was like, oh, taken aback by this kind of comment. And he goes, well, you know, because pediatrics— I was going to do pediatrics before I decided to do obstetrics and gynecology, but you know, your patient's not your patient. Your patient is the parent of your patient, and your patient can't speak. I'm like, oh, those are some really valid points that I had not considered. And, uh, and so yes, it turned out that was a better idea. And for me, it ended up being looking at and focusing on fertility. And, uh, and so one day I was kind of finishing up my clinical hours that, you know, 500 million that you had to do, um, I was finishing it up and, and I came across this poster, Natural Fertility Clinic. I thought, fertility, that's what I'm going to specialize in. And so that's kind of how it started. And, you know, about— yeah, I know, it's so serendipitous, you know, like you're literally just walking and you like see this 4 little points just to kind of finalize that conversation very quickly. Um, it so turned out that 5 years to 10 years later, I started getting people who weren't at the beginning of their journey, but they were much later down the track, you know, more than 2 years of infertility. And, you know, really kind of like with lots of different challenges, having tried lots of different treatments that nothing had worked. And so that's what then led me to really narrow down and focus on, you know, helping couples overcome infertility as a full-time thing, you know, like not looking at other things but really just focusing on that. So that's, that's how it happened, and that's how it's going.

Yeah, well, that's fabulous.

If a woman— typically it's a woman— if they come and they say, I haven't found a partner, I really want to do this by myself, can you help? Yes, we will guide them in the direction of what they need and certainly optimize their own chances. But when it comes to, you know, most of the patients that we treat, 98% actually, uh, essentially couples who are struggling to conceive or keep a healthy pregnancy to term. And we do focus on both partners in that equation because it's a 50-50 equation. You know, I like to say that fertility is a team sport and we have to treat it that way.

Yes, I love that. And that's really what drew me to want to have this conversation because I think when it comes to pregnancy and fertility, the focus is, uh, and the spotlight is kind of always on the woman. And yet there's this other person, and in a good amount of times it's a male, and they are also being impacted by this, this situation.

100%.

So I'd love to get into, because we do want to talk about how stress and, uh, workplace pressures really wreak havoc on both parties. And definitely want to talk about how it impacts the woman. But I'm really curious, what have you found to be the biggest struggles and challenges that men have? And how does it affect them when it comes to their, their work and their leadership?

It's a great, great question. And You know, it's interesting because I think fertility, as you, as you very correctly pointed out, is, is very much narrowed and focused on women when it shouldn't be. Because if we look at what it takes to create a baby, the reasons for infertility are typically 40% male factor, 40% female factor, and 20% embryonic factor, which tells us that, you know, when we're really looking at the man and woman component of that equation, it's a 50/50. And so looking at what that actually means and all of the attention which can be beneficial and also negative going only towards the woman leaves the man often very unsupported in the process, right? And also feeling very helpless about the entire situation because most men who love their partner and they want to reproduce with their partner because it's their partner, because they envision that woman or person as the, the person for them and the person they want to create a family and raise a family with, right? So for them, they feel like, well, what is it that I can do? And often men will go to an appointment with their partners and will ask the doctor, what is it that I can do to improve the situation? And they literally get the most, like, lackluster answer of, oh no, there's nothing you can do, you just need to provide your sample and, you know, it's fine. It's like, well, actually there is so much a man can do to optimize the couple's chance to have a baby, whether we're talking about inability to conceive or inability to keep a pregnancy to term. Because with miscarriages, what a lot of people don't realize is that 50% of the reasons why miscarriages happen is because of male factor. And so, yeah, so, you know, a lot of times a woman will have a miscarriage and, and she'll be blaming herself thinking, oh my God, what did I do? What should I have done? And, you know, whilst the conversation really needs to shift to a whole different direction, which is, okay, what are the factors that are present in this equation, i.e., the couple being the system, right, that is actually leading to the outcome that we are seeing, whether it's inability to conceive, inability to keep a pregnancy to term? And of course, one of the things that are preceding— what are the biochemical chain reactions that are preceding that issue that are starting all the way over here? Because often when it comes to fertility fertility, we think that, oh, you know, have sex, get pregnant, have a baby is just a matter of what's going to happen, right? And yet, if you look at how reproductive medicine actually, uh, you know, kind of shapes this narrative, it's almost like you haven't been able to conceive, you go to your doctor, you get a referral to go and do IVF. Literally, there's nothing really to— there's no kind of diving deep into why do we need IVF to begin with. Typically, it's just like, oh, let's just go and do this next step. And there's very little explanation. People go in, they do a cycle, they don't realize that 70% of them fail, right? 70% of IVF cycles fail. Imagine that. And so they're expecting that it's going to be the silver bullet because their doctor said, hey, this is what you need and this is what you need next, go. And they go through a very onerous, very expensive, very high-intervention process to get to the end with no baby and really left there kind of like scratching their head thinking, what did I do wrong? You know, this is the thing that should work, what did I do wrong? So there's a lot of self-blame, there's a lot of helplessness, there's hopelessness, there's, you know, there's so many emotions that can kind of come into this equation. The other thing that can start happening, especially when couples have been, you know, going through the challenge of infertility or miscarriage for a long time, is not only self-blaming but then blaming each other. And that is often something that's really difficult and quite toxic to the relationship.

Sure.

Because, you know, when, when people aren't working together as a team and kind of going toward the same direction and they're blaming each other, well, that's a recipe for disaster in a relationship in the long term, right? So there's, there's all of those factors. And so, you know, when it comes to how men feel and what I hear them tell me, obviously has never been my personal experience, but obviously I've spoken to many thousands of men going through this challenge, and they tell me very similar things. They wish that they knew that there was more. They wish that their doctors told them that there was more. They wish that they actually got the support— mental, physical, emotional— that they needed to be at their best. They wish that they were educated about what it actually meant as a couple to be experiencing infertility. Because there is, at the same time that there is a lot that gets left on the table, there's a lot that they can do, but they just don't know what, right? And as much as they're like, you know, tell me, what do I need to do? When they're told, oh no, there's nothing, just provide your sample, it's like, well, that— okay, I'll do that. But then, and then of course, the woman is going through a very difficult time with hormones and, you know, all sorts of things, feeling like she's going a little bit mad and crazy because, you know, that those hormonal fluctuations can be so challenging to put up with for anybody.

Yes.

There's a lot, you know, in that whole equation. So there's a lot of impact, not only for the relationship, not only for the person, but also from a work perspective. You know, that's a whole other thing that we can get deeper into. Yeah.

Okay. Looking at what you said and what you explained in regards to the men, workplace pressures, um, specifically we're going to stick with men right now and then we'll move to the women., uh, to men impacting that whole, uh, ability to, to have kids.

You know, the interesting thing about stress in men is that it will typically, in, in terms of infertility, it will typically manifest itself in erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, right? Or inability to ejaculate. Those are the kinds of like very specific ways in which stress stress will affect men. The biochemistry component of how stress affects fertility, i.e., the stress hormones on the, you know, the, the reproductive hormones and how that then relates to or affects the sperm, is, is there, but it's not the biggest, most predominant factor. Because here's the thing that happens, you know, I often talk about, and I've talked about, I've written about this in Fertility Breakthrough, my book that people can find, you free on Spotify, on YouTube, available in booksellers everywhere. You've put the link there as well. Um, what in the book I discussed, the fact that there are, you know, we've, we, in our framework, we've identified 11 pillars of infertility, or 11 pillars of fertility. And so there are many factors, and I like to talk about it in this, in this way: everything that is in your environment, in your day-to-day, will have an impact it's called the exposome, right? The exposome of fertility is everything that is around you, and whether it comes from within you or whether it comes externally— i.e., from within you would be stress hormones, right? And from externally could be anything from exposures to different types of foods, to cigarette smoking, to alcohol, to whatever, right? So all of these different types of exposures will all play a in what is going on for a person. Of course, very high levels of stress sustained over chronic periods of time is going to decrease a person's ability to adapt. It's going to play a role in terms of health on many levels. We know the links between stress and heart disease, stress and gut function, dysfunction, you know. So of course there is a component of that effect when it comes to fertility. But in a very direct way, the, the sexual dysfunction issues are going to be the first and primary kind of place that we're going to see stress playing a role. The other thing too that happens with stress is that because in order to sustain it over a long period of time and the body adapt as best as possible, what's going to end up happening is that you are going to need to really operate from a different level. You're going to utilize a lot your sex hormones to make up your cortisol, adrenaline, noradrenaline, and your, your stress hormones. So you're going to be literally taking away from your reproduction to feed your stress cascade. Okay, so you're going to decrease testosterone levels for men. That's going to be something that's going to happen. So then of course libido gets affected, so they're not really that interested in having sex to begin with, right? And that of course reduces the chances of taking home a healthy baby. The other pressure that can sometimes be exacerbated, whether it's because of infertility or because of work stress, and then they— these things kind of like rebound towards each other, you know, is the fact that if a woman is trying to get pregnant, she's going to be highly focused on making sure that the job is done and it's done on time and in a way that it needs to be done, and, you know, all of those things. And so So sometimes the woman creates an extra, an additional stress in that relationship because they're like, well, today, today is the ovulation day. We have to like, you know, you need to perform. What happens to a man when he's told that he has to get an erection on demand, right? It's like, I don't care about this whole foreplay thing, like, just kind of get it up and let's get this over and done with, right?

Right, right.

It's a challenge. It's a big challenge. It would be a challenge in the best of days to a 20-year-old. Put that kind of challenge on a 30, 40, 50-year-old, well, you're exacerbating a problem even more, right? So those are the kinds of things that I think, in terms of stress specifically focused on men, under-discussed and almost ignored, to the point that so many couples end up choosing to go down the IVF path, which has a high failure rate because they don't want to have sex, right? You know, and you'll be amazed, but I'll tell you this, you will be shocked the number of conversations that I've had with people that goes like this, um, you need to have sex to have a baby. Oh, but you know, do we really have to? Biology 101, you know, how often do we really have to do it, you know? And I'm like, as much as possible. Although we know that, you know, the egg— the release of the egg happens, and the window for the timing of conception is really 12 to 24 hours, right? So we know that, and this is part of why it needs to be timed so specifically and why men often rebel to that timing by exacerbating sexual dysfunction issues because it's like, oh my God, this all feels too overwhelming, right? And it all feels like there's too much pressure. And imagine people in the corporate world already going through immense pressure and then coming home to like now get an erection.

What degree is stress on a woman versus other more physical, uh, type of— I'll call them symptoms, but other reasons, uh, for a woman.

Look, the same with women. What we see is going to be less of a physical manifestation, although that can also be the case, right? I mean, think about it, when you're really not into it, vaginal lubrication is not going to happen as, as well as possible. You're probably going to have more pain on intercourse. You're probably not really going to want to do it because it's just more of a function than a pleasure, you know. And I think that this is part of what— yeah, I actually started a podcast for couples trying to get pregnant and dealing with, you know, long, long-term relationships and, you know, how to bring back the pleasure and the satisfaction in those relationships. It's called Talk Sex with Gabriella Rosa. It's out of season now, but there's some really great conversations in there with other experts that, you know, really highlights what are the things that couples can actually put in place in terms of their connection and their intimacy that's going to help to promote much more? Because think about it, if you don't enjoy having sex, like, if it's not pleasurable, you're not going to enjoy it, right? If you're not going to enjoy it, you're not going to want to do it, right? And so it becomes this kind of like catch— Catch-22, because you need to have more sex to have more chances to have a baby, but it's not pleasurable, it's painful, and it's, um, you know, like you just want it to be over. The man is going to be so turned off by that, he's going to be like, oh my God, do we even need to get started, you know? And so this is what creates a lot of sexual dysfunction in relationships and for couples and for individuals and for couples, because it's kind of like those traumas that, you know, will kind of accumulate. But in terms of women specifically, other than those vaginal dryness symptoms and, you know, like that lack of orgasm, you know, those things will definitely be part of the equation when we're talking about stress in this context. But in terms of hormonal imbalances, then you have the same issue. You're, you're taking away from your reproductive hormones, and you're kind of like building bones or building blocks of sexual hormones to be able to feed at stress hormone cascade, right?

So therefore, so both of those situations therefore sound the alarms of they need to find remedies, strategies, techniques to manage their stress and get rid of or minimize the pressures they're putting on themselves. Is there differences in those techniques or those strategies between men and women?

And if so, what are the strategies, but what are the Yeah, I think that, look, if we were to look at what's going to be the number one thing that's going to make this better is actually just start enjoying it, you know. It's like, what are the things that we can remove from the equation and/or add to the equation that's going to make this pleasurable, right? That's going to make this enjoyable. I think that the number one focus that couples who are having difficulty conceiving and keeping a pregnancy to term need to, to change, if there is one thing that they can change, is their mindset around having sex and the reason to have sex. Because, you know, for them it becomes like— imagine, before you're trying to get pregnant and have a baby, i.e., because you really want to, you only really have sex for pleasure, right? You only really have intimate— what other reason?

What other reason would there be?

I guess the orgasms. Like, I mean, that's, that's it, you know? It's like there's no real other reason than enjoyment enjoyment and pleasure and connection with your partner. It's almost like people who are trying to get pregnant forget the primary reason to have sex and focus solely on reproduction, which, sure, for our ancestors that may have very well been the priority and the primary reason, but really, I mean, even they did it for enjoyment, you know. And so that, as a kind of, why do you think that it is enjoyable to begin with? Because otherwise you wouldn't do it.

So would you— your work then help them work through getting them to identify the negative or the things that are holding them, you know, back as far as enjoying sex for pleasure versus just reproduction, and then finding them the way through and guiding them through that, that change so they can, once they stop so overthinking or over-negative drama about it, they can just relax?

You see, it would be so nice if I could say yes to that answer. And, you know, it would be so nice if that was the only thing. The point, however, is this, is that when people are struggling to get pregnant and conceive, it's usually never a simple solution, right? It's never just a one thing solution that's going to actually get them to overcome their challenge because, you know, what happens is that there are so many different pieces that get in the equation. However, if we don't address that part, right, as a way of making sure that we remove the friction, no pun intended, because this would be not good friction, right? But it will move the obstacles, remove the things that are actually not getting in the, that are getting in the way to creating creating the opposite outcome to what we want to create, then we don't get a result. So yes, it's absolutely essential to look at that as a component. But if I can give you a bit of a, of an insight, what happens is that even before we talk about that, there's usually like 4 months worth of work to figure out why they're not conceiving and keeping a pregnancy to term when they're having sex to begin with, right?

Right.

So that's the thing. And also, you know, I did a study which was part of my master's in public health at Harvard, and we looked at results. And we looked at what— who were the couples that we were able to help, what were their characteristics, how long they were trying to get pregnant, you know, what— how many of them had experienced failed IVF treatments and miscarriages and all of that. And what was really interesting is that we noted that on average, our patients, the patients who came to us who we got our best results for, were infertile for average— on an average of 4 Imagine every single month getting, you know, going through this process hoping that you're going to be pregnant, literally to get a negative pregnancy test. And almost 50% of them had done previously failed IVF cycles, and over 50% of them had experienced previous miscarriage. So these are really challenging situations where it's multifactorial, you know, there are many different things that are getting in the way. And of course We want to make sure that they enjoy that intimacy and that— because also think about it from this perspective, Bernadette. Why are you wanting to have a child to begin with? You know, why is it that, you know, and after the child arrives, what's the whole point of that? I mean, obviously you're wanting to raise a family, and if you can't get the team together to be able to create the baby to begin with, imagine what it's going to be like when the child or the children are already there and all of the additional challenges of life mount onto equation, right? It becomes even more challenging and more, um, stressful.

So it just adds to the, to the ongoing pressure. Do you find that when you ask them that question that they, A, may not really have a good answer other than I just want a child, or, and two, that they don't have the same answer, like they're not working on the same objective give.

Look, that happens, and people want to have babies for all sorts of— you'd be amazed at the, the reasons as to why people, um, give to wanting to have children, right? And, and that's— there's no judgment in that. It just, it is what it is. It's the different meanings for different people. But what's interesting is one commonality of what I absolutely note is that when when two people have very different reasons and/or desires for having a child, those conversations are so essential to have in advance, right? Like, for example, you know, I often will ask— and part of my— we do a free fertility assessment for people. So, you know, when, when they— we're trying to figure out if we can help, we actually do that part first, and we do that part for free. So we don't take on people on board of our program unless we already know that we can help them and what we offer perfectly aligns with what it is that they need. And the reason that we do that is because we know, we already know the types of people that we can help. So selection bias actually helps us to keep the number, the rate of our success very high and help the people who actually can best benefit from what it is that we do. So one of the questions that I ask them in the very beginning of those conversations is, how much of a priority and how motivated are you to actually doing something new about your fertility? And that person will answer on a 0 to 10 scale, 10 being it's a highest priority, 0 being not at all priority. And then I ask, what about your partner? And invariably, I know from years of asking this question that if I have differential numbers for two people, like, that is a conversation we have to have right there and then. Yeah, right, because because for some— because so often, I'll tell you this, so often people go along with another person for social desirability bias, for wanting to, you know, doing the thing that they think is going to be acceptable to the other person, whatever reason. But they go along with it, but they actually really don't want that same thing. And they are too scared to tell themselves and to tell the other person that actually, you know what, I don't actually want baby, right? And that creates so many distressful situations within the context of overcoming infertility and miscarriage, but also going through the whole infertility journey, which is already difficult. And if you don't have a person who actually really is committed or wants to overcome that because they actually deep down don't really want to have a baby, but they're just not being brave enough to say it, Ouch. There's, there's years and sometimes decades of, you know, like not very happy things coming their way. So I find that sometimes the job is actually to help people to be really truthful with themselves in that process.

So you had already mentioned that like the number one thing would be the mindset. So what would the, what would this number two thing would be to really kind of get both the male and the female, in a good place mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, in order to then make their chances. And you, you always seem to say, make, uh, something about having a healthy baby.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, look, you know, at the end of the day, people don't want to be pregnant. I mean, who wants to be pregnant? Dear Jesus, like, you don't want to be pregnant. You want to have a baby, right? Yeah, sure, you might I want to experience pregnancy for like, you know, minutes. The thing lasts 9 months, um, you know, it's pretty intense. So, you know, the reality of it is that most people who want to have a child, they want to just like hold their baby. And, and that really is what I hear so, so frequently from a lot of my patients, particularly second time, third time, fourth time around, you know. Often—

that's true, I can see that. I'm one of 12, so I can imagine that.

Exactly. So it's like, you know what, can we just hurry this business along? But you can't hack the fact that it's a 9-month pregnancy, you know, like It's just how it is. But to answer that question, I have a little kind of almost way that I like people to think about what it is that they can do. Often when I'm asked, what is it that I can do to improve my chances or to make this overcome the challenges that I'm experiencing or whatever it is, I ask the men to indulge me in this moment because for them it's a little bit harder to conceptualize being pregnant, right? But I often say like, look, imagine if you could be. Imagine if right now you're the one gestating that child. I know that there probably would be even less people in the world because men would not want to be giving birth, but that's a whole other story. But all jokes aside, you know, if a man could like— and women, it's easy kind of for women to imagine that because I think we see it so often. Um, but if you kind of imagine yourself, whether you're a man or a 'Being pregnant right now,' and I was to ask you, 'What are all of the things that you would absolutely stop doing or would absolutely start doing to give yourself the best possible chance of having the healthiest possible baby? What are those things?' And very quickly, people are able to identify in their own situation the things that they absolutely would start doing or would stop doing, and they're able to conceptualize realize that in actions, right? I would start doing this, and I would eat healthy, and I would take supplements, and I would, you know, take care of my— I would exercise, I would whatever, right? And then on the other side of that equation, people will say things like, you know, I'd stop smoking, I'd stop drinking, I would stop taking drugs, whatever, right? Those are the things that, you know, right now inside of you, you already have 50% of the little baby that you want to create. That is the reality, right? So whether you're a man or a woman, 50% of that baby is already within you, and your job is actually to bring your best contribution to the table, so to speak, right? So your job is to really bring the best possible quality egg, the best possible quality sperm, and the way that you're going to do that is by nurturing those cells in the same way that you would if that was already a baby.

Oh, I love that.

It's what I call act pregnant now to get pregnant later, right? And so that is essentially what people need to take into consideration and really need to kind of conceptualize but also internalize, because it's very easy to say to somebody, oh, you should stop this, do this, blah blah blah blah blah, and it's like, oh yeah, okay, whatever. But when you are responsible for gestating that little baby, or 50% of that little baby, in the cells that you bring to the occasion, right? Then it becomes a matter of like, okay, there is actually something that I can do. And not only there is something that I can do, there is something I must do to bring my best contribution forward, right? And often that is what is not only necessary but essential to help couples overcome infertility and recurrent miscarriage, even when other treatments filed.

Fabulous! This has been an eye-opener, an absolute eye-opener. And I love your take on supporting both parties, supporting both male and the female. And it is sad and disappointing that the male can get overlooked a great amount of the time.

Yeah.

And yet at the same time, they are 50/50, as you said.

Absolutely. Absolutely, absolutely. So important.

Yes, yes. Wow, this has been great, everyone. I want you to be sure to pick up her book, Fertility Breakthrough: Overcoming Infertility and Recurrent Miscarriage When Other Treatments Have Failed. Uh, she had mentioned you can go to her website fertilitybreakthrough.com. Uh, she also said— where did you say it was free?

It's free on Spotify and on YouTube, and it's available in every bookseller, Amazon, etc., you know, Yeah, that's fabulous.

And then at the same time, go to fertilitybreakthrough.com to learn all about her work. Her website's fabulous, and you can also— there's some great articles and resources in her blog as well. I wanted to do a shout out on that because I spent about a half hour with it this morning.

Oh wow, impressive.

And then of course, follow her on, um, Instagram, Gabriella Rosa Fertility. Gabriella, thank you so much. This has been fabulous. I really appreciate it.

Thank you. No, I'm so glad we finally made it.

Have a beautiful, beautiful day.

You too. Thank you for having me.

Thank you. What a powerhouse of a conversation with powerhouse Gabriella Rosa. Loved the conversation, especially as she focused a lot of the discussion on men and what men deal with when it comes to their fertility journey and the pressures that are put on them, but at the same time how overlooked they are in the process. Um, while she also highlighted what both men and women need to do when it comes to minimizing, if not eradicating, any stress that is just depleting what it is that they need in order to productively have a healthy baby. So the conversation was just ripe with tips and advice and even her own personal story and journey. So I appreciate you being here for that conversation. If you are dealing with workplace stress and pressures, and you're just not sure what you need to be doing in order to minimize that so it doesn't affect any aspect of your life, then feel free to reach out and schedule a call with me. Go to coachmebernadette.com/apply. Discovery call, and let me give you some tips and strategies you can put into place right now so you can be as effective, productive, and a powerhouse as you can be. Until next time, thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch, and I'll look forward to having you right back here. Take care.

Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Every journey taken together is another step towards unleashing the powerhouse leader within you. Don't miss any of our weekly episodes. Subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you love to listen. And for those who thrive on visual content, catch us on our Shedding the Bitch YouTube channel. Want to dive deeper with Bernadette on becoming a powerhouse leader? Visit balloffirecoaching.com to learn more about how she helps professionals, HR executives, and team leaders elevate overall team performance. You've been listening to Shedding the Corporate Bitch with Bernadette Boas. Until next time, keep shedding, keep growing, and keep leading.