The Executive Edge: Mastering Presence and Leadership

When a manager receives feedback that they need to elevate their executive presence, the first question that they come to me for and ask is, "What does that mean exactly?" More often than not, they're viewing it solely as the ability to gain respect from others, influencing others to follow them, or being actionable and results-oriented. Some view it from a single lens of It, it's all about how they present themselves physically and emotionally. Now it's all of that, but it's also so much more. It's all about the mindset, behavior, and leadership style of an individual. It's about their ability to empower, inspire, motivate, and influence trust, engagement, and ultimately outcomes from those around them. So we will be diving into all of it. So you're focused on the right thing. Before you even receive feedback that you need to elevate your executive presence. Or maybe you've received it and you want to understand exactly what you need to be doing in order to address it and be successful in your work and in your life. So stay with us. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Shading the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms female corporate executives into powerhouse leaders. By showing them how to shed the challenges and overwhelm along with any fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negativity holding them back. I'm your host, Bernadette Boas of Ball of Fire Coaching, bringing you powerhouse discussions each week to share tips, advice, and sometimes tough love so you create the riches in your work and life you deserve. Let's do this. If you were to witness a senior manager talking down to their people, maybe creating drama in meetings, or completely tuned out from the conversation you're trying to have with them, whether that's one-on-one or even in a group. Would you have a lot of respect for them? Would you trust them? Would you want to model that for yourself as an example of strong leadership? Would you follow them into a burning building feeling confident that they have your back? They're going to know how to get out of that situation and even support you on the other side. Well, probably not. And so I really want to walk through what it means for you and for others when it comes to executive presence. And if you have ever received feedback as far as you need to elevate your executive presence and if you want to move to the next level, or that's the reason that they're giving you as far as why you're not elevating up. Well, you want to know for sure exactly what does that look like? What does that mean when you say elevate my executive presence, Mr. Boss, Mrs. Boss? What exactly do you mean by that? Can you paint me a picture? So I want to paint you a picture. I want to paint you a picture of someone who exudes executive presence. And so you can take on these traits and qualities and kind of get rid of that reasoning for you not being elevated or advanced or given opportunities. At the same time, I think that there are strong traits and qualities for just being a leader in your work and life. So let's look at it for both the reason of career advancement, but also let's look at it as these are traits and qualities that any leader should have. In their home and in the workplace. All right, so let's start kind of summarizing what they are, and then I want to give you some tips and strategies for what you can do about it. All right, the first one would be confidence. Someone with executive presence is confident. They know themselves well enough, uh, to project the fact that they believe in their skill, they believe in their intelligence, they believe in their capability, they believe in their, talent and expertise and experiences. And they feel very self-assured that even if they don't, and even if they aren't an expert and they don't know everything, that they're confident that they can learn it. They're confident that they're teachable, coachable, and, and they convey that very easily, um, just by the way they go about, uh, dealing with issues. Handling conflict, making decisions, communicating opportunities or challenges, and also inspiring confidence in others. So confidence would be kind of the foundation for me when it comes to executive presence. And that also comes from the second one, which would be self-awareness. Someone who's confident is completely self-aware of who they are, what they want, what they don't want, what they're willing to accept, what they're willing not to accept, what their boundaries are. They really understand their strengths, their weaknesses, the areas for improvement, their blind spots. And, you know, that using that self-awareness allows them, even with their weaknesses and areas for improvement, because we all have them, they're able to navigate not only kind of where their strengths are, but also navigate through their weaknesses, through their, uh, need to be coached, to get training, to be mentored. And they're willing to do that. They're very coachable. They're very, uh, learnable. All right, so confidence and self-awareness, which also lends itself to someone with strong executive presence, has strong emotional intelligence. They have a strong ability to be empathetic, to tap into where others are so then they can meet them where they are to help influence or persuade or inspire or motivate them, uh, to go that much further or to make the decision that is needed or to, you know, deal with the issue or the conflict that is, that is going on or to take on a new opportunity or challenge. They're really kind of able to also not only kind of tap into other people, but they can tap into their own amount emotions. They, because that self-awareness, also, they're able to tap into what their stressors are, what their triggers are, and they're able to manage through them to where they're not impacted or negatively affected. And therefore don't take on what maybe it's a risk or a new challenge opportunity or make that decision. They're, they're very aware of those areas to where then they can work themselves through it. So emotional intelligence as well. And with confidence, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence, individuals really gain a sense of how to market or how to message what it is that they're looking to achieve and what they need from other people. They're strong communicators, and they have very elevated, strong communication skills. They're able to communicate convincingly, persuasively, um, authentically what it is that they're working on, dealing with, struggling with, uh, need to make a decision on, the plan that they're coming up with, especially when it, it requires them bringing other people into the fold in order for them to be successful in accomplishing it or navigating through it. But communication skills, key leadership, overall leadership skill, but also one that really demonstrates one's executive presence. If they can, you know, not only, you know, from a body language or a tone or a presence perspective, but through their words, through the structure of their words, through the structure of their messaging, They are able to really emulate executive presence as a result of their communication skills. And they're one, going back to emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and confidence. They're also one to want to constantly work on it and improve upon it, whether it is— I should mention, whether it is in writing or verbal. But remember, body language speaks volumes. Tone speaks volumes. Energy, you know, behavior speaks volumes to individuals. And as I mentioned at the beginning, if you've ever had, you know, someone, a senior manager who talks down to people or who totally, you know, looks like they're tuned out, or they're not paying attention, or they're multitasking, or they're creating drama, all of that, whether that's verbal or written or body language or tone, All of that comes into play when it comes to executive presence. Those individuals also are strategic thinkers and planners. So a lot of times when people get this kind of feedback around executive presence, a lot of managers struggle to really kind of paint the picture. And the first thing, or a couple things that they'll bring up, are more things like confidence. That's pretty basic when it comes to executive presence. But then they'll come up with things like, I need you to be more strategic. I need you to be, you know, a strategic planner. I need you to be looking around the corner and anticipating what's coming next. I need you to, you know, be that visionary, which would be another one, would be someone that is visionary and has purpose and meaning behind what it is that they're doing. Whether it's a kind of a small project they're working on that needs and requires executive presence, or they're a head of a business or a department or a function of some sort. And it involves all of that, you know, painting the vision for the, for the team and for the business, you know, making sure everyone understands themselves and others of the purpose for why it is that they're doing what they're doing, why they're making the decisions that they're making, why they're, you know, kind of taking on the new opportunities, the challenges that they're taking on. So through strategic thinking and planning, they also then emulate being a visionary or being someone who's very purposeful and therefore able to communicate— going back to that— able to communicate that to everyone and therefore inspire, motivate, educate, inform, persuade, all of that. Makes for one heck of a powerhouse leader, for sure. Another one would be relationship building and cultivating. So I actually will get feedback from my clients that they'll talk about, yes, I'm, you know, building relationships, I'm making sure that I, you know, talk to— I always look for key stakeholders. And so my clients will say, yes, I'm, you know, kind of getting on the calendars of my key stakeholders and working on building that relationship. And but yet, then I find that there's gaps. I find that there's, you know, times and situations, decisions, coaching, guidance, advice that they're not leaning on and leveraging those relationships. They're not cultivating those relationships to really make it a win-win for everybody. And so when you think about relationship building, you want to also think about the cultivating of that. It goes beyond just kind of having an objective or having to check this off on a list, especially when it comes to your coach asking you to build relationships. Uh, the worst thing I want from my client is just to think that I'm, you know, kind of holding them accountable to checking something off the list. I want them cultivating relationships, especially when it comes to key stakeholders, advocates, sponsors, decision makers, uh, mentors, coaches, uh, that will help them grow in their position today but also help them advance in their career. So focus on also being a relationship builder and cultivator. Um, those with executive presence are very decisive. Uh, because going back to that confidence, going back to that self-awareness, those triggers, those stressors, those strengths, those areas of weakness, uh, those, uh, knowing their boundaries, knowing, you know, they're— of course they're expert, they're experienced, you know, they have the gravitas of the position that they're in, but all of that lends itself beautifully into being able to make decisions easy or hard, doing all the due diligence around it and making those key decisions that need to be made. So decisiveness is also a key trait of an individual with executive presence. And then there's authenticity. And we talked about that earlier. Leaders, powerhouse leaders, as I call them, are really genuine. They're genuine about their strengths, their weaknesses, their riches, as I call them, bitches. They're, you know, they're genuine about wanting to build those and cultivate those relationships, wanting to build trust, wanting to build, you know, commitment and support and advocacy with, with one another. They want to foster, you know, transparency, honesty, openness, healthy conflict, because they know that it'll all lead to the ultimate outcome and results that everybody wants. And again, it's a win-win. And so authenticity also, you know, brings in not only the trust element, but also the humility element. It brings in, you know, someone's ability to say they're wrong, made a bad decision, are weak in a particular area, need help. And, you know, being authentic kind of just, you know, ensures that what you see is what you get. What you see is what you get. In the past, I will have to admit, you got about 20% of me in my past corporate career. Today you get 99% of me because there's a, you know, there's a certain percentage you need to keep to yourself. But, but authenticity, you want people that are authentic and they want you to be authentic. Many people think that leaders want— other leaders want brown-nosers. And yes, men and women, they don't. They want people that challenge them. They want people that are genuinely interested in making them successful and making themselves successful, and therefore, and the business. And therefore, they're always looking for opportunities, pointing out challenges, risks, and looking for the goals and the, the motivations of other people so they can create win-wins across the board on a regular basis. Okay, so authenticity. And then of course there's those that are just very resilient, and, uh, and they recognize that there's going to be good days and calm days, and there's going to be hell, chaotic, stormy days. Um, and yet at the same time, they're very resilient to if they get knocked down, if they screw up, if they make a bad decision or a bad call, if they hire the wrong person, if they, you know, whatever the case might be, and they, you know, anybody else would act as if the world's ending. They recognize that, you know what, we all screw up, we all make mistakes, we all have our failures and missteps. And yet right now at this very moment in time, not even tomorrow, but right now at this moment in time, there's an opportunity to make things better. There's an opportunity to learn, to grow, to evolve. So those with executive presence are very resilient. And as a result of that, they also come across very composed. You want your leaders, right? You want your leaders to be calm, cool, and collected. You want your leaders to— I mentioned at the very beginning about going through fire. You want your leaders to recognize there's a fire, recognize the dangers, do the due diligence, get everybody, you know, kind of brought together to put out this fire, but do it in a way that's calm, cool, and collected and not like chaotic and dramatic and, and overwhelming and very emotional. You want, you want to, you know, your leaders and they want from you that as, you know, you could be in the middle of the storm and you're just going to keep your composure, you're going to keep your emotions in check, while at the same time you are human. So you're, you know, you're recognizing and being authentic about the fact that you're scared, you're— the fact that you're, you know, kind of in an uncomfortable situation or an uncomfortable place that you don't want to be. At the same time, you're willing to do it because it's the best for yourself, for the team, for the business. Okay. And of course, as a result of that, executive presence requires adaptability. There, though, we're going through constant, constant change. And if you're not adaptable, if you're not willing to change, if you're not willing to learn, if you're not willing to grow, well, then, you know, you might as well just kind of hang your hat. Because leaders definitely absolutely need to be adaptable in this very expedient, chaotic, ever-changing, unpredictable environment that we're in. And it doesn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon. And I talked about persuasion earlier, you know, through communication, through someone's communication skills, they're able to clearly, you know, lay out their message, their business case, their decision-making process, whatever. And able to persuade others through that, that messaging, through that, um, through that structuring, so to speak. But persuasion and someone who is persuasive emotes executive presence. And lastly, of course, I can't go without mentioning— I, uh, at the beginning I had said, said that, you know, some, some look into a solo lens That executive presence is about whether or not I'm wearing the right clothes and I drive the right car and I'm in the right seat at the table and my posture is right, my tone is good. And trust me, I was that person too. That took— that energy was about 90% and 10% was the expertise and the skill and the adaptability and the authenticity and the composure and the resilience and the confidence and everything else we've been talking about. I want you to flip it. 10% on the professional appearance, because we all should be professional looking, you know, when we are engaging in a work environment, whether that is remote or not. But, and then 90% should be on everything else we're talking about. But professional appearance, you know, it holds a lot of weight. You know, you don't want someone showing up looking like, you know, their, their clothes are wrinkled in there or dirty or ripped, you know, their hair is all messed up and disheveled, so forth and so on. You want, you know, leadership is still about presence, even physically. Okay. So those are traits and qualities that really will help you emulate executive presence. I do want to give you some specific tips. That you can start acting on and ensuring that you are arming yourself in such a way that you'll be successful in creating that presence that you're looking for as a leader. Okay, so the first one would be you need to self-assess yourself, and we've talked about that. You need to self-assess your strengths, your weaknesses, your areas for opportunities, your blind spots, you know, how others perceive you. Well, I'm sorry, I'll bring that up in a minute. But you need to self-assess that for yourself. You need to become self-aware, right? So, and all that self-awareness, as we said, and all this information that you would gather for yourself through your own self-assessment will also help with not only self-awareness but confidence. So, you know, all of these tips will kind of check off, you know, the one of the 13 or multiples of the 13 traits and qualities we talked about. And Then you wanna seek feedback. And you could call that, you know, a 360 assessment, but you wanna seek feedback from others. All right, now that you've assessed yourself, how do others perceive me? Because perception is reality. So someone else's perception of you, their experience with you is their reality. And therefore you really wanna understand their reality. You don't want to all of a sudden get surprised by, you know, either a performance review, a rejection to an advancement opportunity or a job opportunity, you know, or you get feedback in your, you know, in your regular touch bases with your employees or your boss. So you want to kind of get ahead of it, so to speak. And you want to be able to gather feedback from others. Plus, it's just growth. It's just that being coachable, being learnable, being trainable, you want to be able to also seek feedback. And from that, you can be setting goals. Like, you can look at this whole list of traits that we've been talking about and even these tips. But then through that self-assessment, through gathering feedback from someone else formally or informally, you can then set goals. What do I need to work on? What, what do I You know, what strengths do I possess right now, but I want to elevate? If it is executive presence, what specifically around that do, you know, do I want to work on? Do I want to improve on? Do I want to even master? If it is around communication, what is that? What part of communication skills— because there's a lot— would that involve? So you self-assess, you get feedback, you set achievable goals, and then you look to invest in your development personally and professionally. You invest, whether that's through training, through coaching, through mentoring, through those feedback sessions and self-assessments. But you really ensure through books— I can't overlook that— books, videos. You don't want to ever not be learning and growing and working on your own personal and professional growth. Another one would be work on those communication skills. Work on— and the number one thing I would tell people, especially from an executive presence perspective, is become that strategic communicator. Now, what does that mean? And I'm going to make this brief because it could be a session in itself or an episode in itself. But strategic communication is ensuring that you are structuring your communications, your messages in such a way that it creates that influence, that persuasion that you're looking for, that trust, that respect, and demonstrates your, your executive presence. And, you know, the structure is going to look like you really always want to focus on the outcome, the results, the benefits, the what's in it for whomever, uh, and then you can get into the how-to and all the details and all the minutia underneath it. But there is a very purposeful, intentional way of communicating your— or structuring your communications, um, that will elevate your leadership, uh, you know, perception from other people. All right. Uh, and again, you can always reach out to me at, um, BernadetteBoas@BallOfFireInc.com if you want to learn a little bit more about that.. But be a strategic communicator— outcomes, benefits, and results, what's in it for them— and then get into minutia. Then another area that would touch on a number of those traits and qualities we went through is honor your riches. When you've done that self-assessment, when you've done that, gathered that feedback from others, look for both things, strengths and weaknesses, but really hone in and spend time on those strengths. Spend time on those talents and skills and expertise and experiences and encounters that you've had that really ground you in why you are the powerhouse that you already are, and ensure that you really use that to not only help you through the areas that you need to work on, but also will help you market and message yourself to ensure that you are honoring your riches even externally to other people. Someone's not going to just come along and tap you on the shoulder and go, hey, take this big job and with that big office at the— at the— in the corner there. You need to be able to humbly, um, honor your riches and your accomplishments and your outcomes and your results and your achievements, uh, you know, to other people. You just can't keep it to yourself. All right, so honor your riches. Now the other one would be that composure we talked about, um, that resilience. You need to work on ensuring that you're managing your emotions, that your emotions aren't managing you. Like, figure out what your stressors are, what your triggers are, what your motivators are, and ensure that You know, when you recognize that those things are kind of percolating, that you're able to manage those. Because again, leader, you know, or teams want their leaders to be calm, cool, and collected, composed through the good times and the hard times. And therefore, you need to figure out a way to manage your own emotions so you can project that demeanor to other people. OK, then another one would be, and this is a big one, managers, you need to listen more and talk less. Your job as a leader is to develop, grow, and support your people. And in order to do that, it's not just dumping and handing out assignments to your people. And hoping that, you know, if they have, they're having an issue or they're, they're sinking under the weight of all the work that they have, that they're going to all of a sudden come up and raise their hand and wave the white flag and tell you what's going on. And even when they do, you need to listen to the point where if, if they're not using the words that necessarily scream, I need help. I'm drowning, um, I'm doing great but I want more opportunities, I feel like I'm not contributing what I'm about, you know, what I'm able to, so forth and so on. You need to be able to pick up on those cues, but that takes you actively listening and talking less. Okay, and then of course you need to You need to kind of build that trust, build that foundation on, you know, kind of doing what you say, practicing what you preach. Also ensuring that you're engaging your team and you're valuing their capabilities or their opportunities, because some may not be capable right now, but they have a great capacity to, you learn and to contribute more. And therefore, you take the risk to educate them, to mentor them, to coach them, just to throw them something and allow them to take on that challenge. So you need to build trust in your team members. Because remember, trust is a foundation of executive presence. You need to work on building trust by taking the risk, taking the chances, delegating to your team. You don't need to do it all. When you do it all, trust me when I say that the people around you watching you observe that you're not able to delegate, that you therefore you don't trust your team, or you think that you're the only one who can do it. And that will be a ding against you. It won't ever be a positive if you're not able to entrust your team to do the job that they're meant to do and/or that they're capable of doing even though their job description may not even require it. You need to allow them to take those, those chances, those risks, give them those opportunities. And you need to then therefore trust them and delegate to them. And of course, we talked decisiveness earlier. And some people aren't great decision makers. Or some people really have to overanalyze, like really analyze, really dig in, do the due diligence. And again, there's no right or wrong. There's no right or wrong to decision-making, whether it's somebody who haphazardly with very little information makes a decision or someone who overanalyzes and makes a decision. The point is to make the decision. And yet there are a lot of leaders out there that don't like to make decisions, avoid it, delay it. They will delegate the decision out because again, now it's not their responsibility if they delegate or even dump it out to somebody else. And you as a leader absolutely need to be able to make those decisions. And so you need to recognize— remember self-assessment— you need to recognize what your decision-making process is. And sometimes it'll be just right. Sometimes it'll be too slow. Sometimes it'll be too fast. The outcome, though, has to be the decision. So then you can work on whether or not it needs to be done, you know, different, better, faster, slower, whatever the case might be. But you have to be a decision maker. Identify one or one, two, or three of them that you can start working on. Go and do a self-assessment of yourself. Strengths, weaknesses. You can even identify for yourself any blind spots. Blind spots you would identify by the fact that, you know, someone has always told you something about yourself, you've never really picked up on it, but yet now that you're thinking about it, you recognize that that could be working for you or against you. And, and yet it— so therefore it's a blind spot. That you've been given feedback that you've kind of denied, and therefore, you know, it could be a blind spot for you. But what are your blind spots, as well as what are your strengths? What are your, uh, weaknesses? What are your hidden strengths? That— and again, that's something that other people have told you, you're really good at this. You don't necessarily, you know, agree, or you don't really think about it or consider it. So what is it? So start with 1 to 3 of these self-assess, even if it's self-assess, seek feedback, and then work on some, some personal and professional development goals. And again, if you should need any help, any guidance through identifying those traits or qualities, doing that self-assessment, or taking on any one of those tips and strategies I provided, then don't hesitate to ask me for some time. To discuss it, and I can create that roadmap for you and give you your first steps to take so you can be gaining that executive presence and becoming that powerhouse leader that you're meant to be. So simply go to coachmebernadette.com/discoverycall and schedule some time with me. Totally complimentary. All it will be is about you, because what we do here at Ball of Fire Coaching and with Shedding the Corporate Bitch is to ensure that you're becoming the powerhouse leader that you were meant to be. All right, and I'm very honored that you were here with us this week, and I'll look forward to having you right back here next week for another episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Talk to you soon. Bye.