The Love-Hate Connection to Goal-Setting

Are you ready to create riches in your work and life? It's time for Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negativity so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches in life you deserve. So let's welcome your ball of fire host Bernadette Boas.

Happy, happy, happy day! Happy day! Good day, good day, good day everyone! And yes, I'll even put a timestamp on it to say happy 2022. It is our first broadcast in the new year, and I don't know about you, but I am so pumped. I am so pumped for this new year. I, for so many reasons, forget about, you know, what's been going on for the last, you know, 2 years or, or not. But more so, I love turning the page on kind of new opportunities, new goals, new dreams, new aspirations, even new challenges and new adventures. And so every time I get to this particular show, more than any other show during the year, I just get all really jazzed up, really just excited, not only for me but for you. Because we, we just can come together right now and really take a blank piece of paper and start creating anything and everything that we want to do individually, obviously, and in our business, in our life, but also together as a community, part of our Shedding the Bitch community, part of our Ball of Fire coaching community, whatever, um, wherever you might come and join us. So I am so excited. We have a great year lined up for you at Shedding the Bitch. And so both on our podcast streaming services as well as our Shed the Bitch TV YouTube channel. So go and check us out anywhere across those platforms and give us suggestions as far as who you want to hear from, who would be a great guest for Shedding the Bitch, and what you want to talk about, what you want to hear about, what you want to learn about.. And, uh, we absolutely love, love any suggestions. You can do that out on BlogTalkRadio, out on any one of those streaming services, um, in the chat sections. You can do that on our Facebook and Twitter Shedding the Bitch page. You can even send me a direct message at Bernadette Boas at Ball of Fire Inc. We love getting, uh, suggestions from you as far as what you want to hear and who you want to hear and see, um, on the program. But today we are going to be talking about that love-hate connection that some of you, uh, have to goal setting. Um, and then throughout the, throughout the week on our Powerhouse Mavericks Facebook group and in the Shane the Bitch, uh, Ball of Fire coaching community, we're going to be talking a lot through January about goals. Not only because it's a new year, not only because it's my birthday month, but because of the fact that it's just a lot of fun to talk about visions and dreams and goals and even those action plans that we all need to put into place in order to be focused, clear, and successful, uh, as we move forward. So, but today what I really want to dig into, um, is all about that love-hate connection. Why do some love it? Why should you love it? Why do some hate it, and that's a strong word, but I get it often. Um, and what can you do to kind of become a massive goal setter? Because there's so many great benefits, uh, to you doing that. But before we get into all of that, uh, of course, once again, I want to thank our new and ongoing viewers and listeners, uh, the likes, the tweets, the shares, the ratings, the reviews, the subscriptions, um, the connections, the recommendations on topics and guests have made our program just start exploding this past year. And so I'm very, very grateful to each and every one of you, um, and would just continue to ask for your shares and likes and tweets and, uh, posts and reviews and ratings, regardless of what they are. You know, regardless of what they are. If there's things that we could be doing better, let us know. If there's things that we're doing great, let us know. Uh, so just continue engaging, continue communing. And right now, just as an FYI, we are streaming in multiple places. We are streaming, um, video broadcasting on Facebook, on Twitter, on YouTube, in our Shedding the Bitch pages. Uh, we are also broadcasting, um, via BlogTalkRadio, and then, then it will get broadcasted out into any one of your podcast streaming services. So we're live, and there's a great opportunity for you and numerous ways that you could actually hook into the show if you want to talk about this love-hate connection with goal setting. So first, you can call 1-818-572-2910 and join us on, you know, live, um, on the show. You can, uh, go into BlogTalkRadio for this particular episode, scroll down, and there's a chat function, and you can chat in there, and I'm watching the chat room throughout the, throughout the program. And then you can also, on any one of those services, you could actually make a comment in the post section. StreamYard may be asking you to give them permission for me to see your name and your profile picture. If you're not concerned about that, then just comment away, and I'm watching the comments. Uh, if you have any questions, a challenge, a story around goal setting and your hate-love relationship with it, then I would love to hear from you. All right. Um, lastly, I do need to thank our ongoing sponsors. Uh, first up, we have North Georgia Tax Solutions, NG Tax Solutions to be specific, and they are a full-service financial and tax services company. That services small to corporate-sized clients and individuals. So Debbie Smelling and her team service the entire country, the United States, since we are international. And so should you have any financial or tax service needs, then certainly reach out to them. They are phenomenal. I've been working with them probably for 8 to 10 years, um, and beyond that, they are— they just do a bang-up job for you both individually and in your business. So ngtechsolutions.com, learn more and reach out and say hi for me. All right, um, next is one that I'm so proud of. They've come on board in the last 5 or 6 months, and they are more local to Atlanta and to Georgia. But if you want to find an expert and a guide and a just a true professional when it comes to roofing and your home services needs, then definitely reach out to Jay and his team at Up Top Roofing Atlanta. And you can find them at up-toproofingofatl@yahoo.com. Phenomenal customer service, phenomenal people, and you won't be disappointed. And I'm so grateful and honored that, uh, after years of, uh, engaging with one another, he, uh, came forward and said, you know, I love what you're doing, I wanna, I wanna support and sponsor you. So I'm very, very grateful for that. All right, now last reminder, just go, you know, you can at any point in time— we broadcast every Tuesday at noon Eastern Time live, but you can also download, um, any of the, of the, uh, podcast on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or any one of your streaming services, as well as you can watch the show and watch the replays of, um, the show at Shedding the Bitch TV on YouTube. All right, all right, let's get into this conversation about the love-hate connection, um, to goal setting. And I, you know, I have to say, um, I get it. There's times that I absolutely get why some folks, you know, uh, love, love goal setting, like me. Some hate might be a strong word, but there's a, you know, there's a lot of different emotions that come up when it comes to goal setting. Um, and so I am here today, um, I am here today to, to kind of enlighten you and to maybe educate and even just be kind of forward with some tough love around why, why you should fall in love with goal setting and why goal setting is I would say your number one key to success in your business, if you're a corporate professional, in your work and in your life— goal setting. Just look at it this way, you know, every one of us want— wants to know that we have a purpose, we have a reason for getting up in the morning, putting our feet on the ground and running out into the world. Um, and yet if you're if you fight or dislike goal setting, and therefore you just don't do it for a number of reasons that we're gonna talk about, well then what are you doing? Like, what is the reason for getting out of bed? And that's really the bottom line. That's really the bottom line is kind of trying to define that why, that purpose, which then can get translated into goals as to why you get up in the morning each and every day and do what you do. Each and every day at home or at work. Um, and more so when I speak to my clients, I certainly speak to them about— I start to speak to them about why they should fall in love with it. Um, goal setting allows you to really transform yourself into a massive producer, into a revenue or income generator, depending upon if you're in business for revenue or in a career for income, as well as an overall riches generator, which means you could be creating whatever it is, intangible or tangible, um, in work or life, adventure, experiences, relationships, connections, community service, whatever it is, by just simply defining and, and owning up to what it is that you would love to achieve in a day, in a week, in a month, in a year, in a lifetime. Um, so there's, you know, certainly, and we're going to talk about more of the benefits, but I want you to be thinking about when it comes to goals, you know, those roles that you can play. And that is R-O-L-E-S because, um, recently being with my family in Philadelphia and coming back home, I, I got a lot of like little jabs at, uh, you know, leaving or keep bringing my, my Philly accent back with me after, um, you know, decades of being away. Uh, but roles that you can play, and the roles are that massive producer. What would it take to be a massive producer? And then that revenue generator. What would it take to, you know, be that revenue generator? And then an abundance creator. What will it take for you to create abundance and prosperity and freedom and happiness and and joy in your life. All right, that's where I want you to sit as we have this conversation today. Um, and again, I want to remind you, please, if you are listening live or watching live, you can always, um, reach out at 1-818-572-2910, um, or even go to any one of the, the chat rooms or comment sections out on Facebook and Twitter on our Shedding the Bitch pages and blogtalkradio.com. All right, so, so what does it take to be a massive producer, an abundance creator, a revenue generator? Well, it takes focus, it takes clarity, it takes persistence, determination, motivation, optimism, um, it takes momentum, it, you know, it takes constant Planning and action. Planning and action. A lot of people that I talk to do get kind of hung up on the planning piece of it, and yet planning doesn't have to be this big arduous thing. Um, it, you know, it doesn't have to be complicated. It can be very simple. And then as you are planning and taking action, then that plan, you know, not only creates momentum and energy, you know, behind it, but at the same time, you're now achieving small to big accomplishments and achievements, which is then just fueling your confidence and your energy and your, you know, your focus and clarity and your persistence to want to keep going. So, um, you know, just the planning aspect of even goal setting is really key to, you know, you becoming a massive producer, an abundance creator, and a revenue generator. Um, and but let's talk about kind of, okay, that, that sounds great, but yet I do struggle. You know, these are comments that I get. I do struggle. I do lose focus. I do start doubting myself. I do start questioning myself. I do start feeling inadequate or not worthy or undeserving. Um, and you know, how does, how does my goal setting and my plan help me with all of that? Well, again, having that roadmap, which, you know, goals are, you know, the ultimate purpose of, of laying out your goals and creating the action plan with it is the fact that it creates this roadmap where You know, if all of a sudden you are stuck, the question I would ask you as a, as a coach— that's what I do as a, you know, for trade— but I would ask you, what does your plan say? You know, relying on that plan, leaning on that plan, leveraging that plan answers that question immediately as to what, what is it that I'm, you know, supposed to be working on. I'm stuck, I'm unsure. I'm unsure. Why are you unsure? What does your plan say? Right. Um, well, I don't feel like I can do X, Y, and Z, you know. I don't know that I have the skill set. I, I don't have the, the monies. So, you know, again, mental, mental mindset games start, you know, plaguing, uh, your confidence and your focus. Well, what does your plan say as far as what needs to get done? And then that plan lends itself to being your delegation tool, your prioritization tool, your, um, hiring tool. So if all of a sudden you have this set of goals that have certain actions and certain tasks assigned to it, and some of those actions and tasks you can do, some of those you don't know how to do or you can't do— but yeah, we had a technical glitch if you're just joining. You know, I'll often get the question, well, how does it— how does a set of goals and a plan and, you know, really help with when I all of a sudden, you know, start getting insecure or losing confidence, one and the same, or I'm feeling overwhelmed or unworthy? You know, where does the mindset come into play when it comes to goals and planning? Well, again, it comes into just having that roadmap, having that clarity. And it, um, when we got interrupted, I was saying the fact that, uh, your, your goals, your roadmap, uh, allow you to make decisions, prioritize, delegate. Um, which means delegating, you're either hiring or giving it to someone, um, on your team. Um, or you might even delay or delete it from, from from your, um, priority list, even from your goal list. So your, your goals play a tremendous, tremendous role in ensuring that— at least what I talk to my clients about— that 80% of the time you're productive, 20% of the time you're struggling. But that 20% becomes short, short-term blips on the radar, um, when you then kind of as you're dealing with that challenge or struggle, you say to yourself, OK, I need to lean back on my, on my goals, on my roadmap. Now, at the same time, of course, you elevate your, your success rate should you, you know, should you have somebody that you're leaning on, whether that be a coach or a mentor or a friend or a colleague or another teammate. Certainly having, having that support system in place as well will increase your probability of success. But let me give you some statistics if I need to prove it any further as far as, um, what it does to your success factor, uh, should you have and focus on laying out your goals, getting them down on paper, and using them each and every day. So basically, um, statistics have shown that by you just getting them out of your head and putting them onto a piece of paper and writing them down will increase your probability of achieving those goals by 42%. All right, um, I don't know about you, but I would rather, you know, kind of clear my head of all of that noise and get it down on a piece of paper, um, and free up that space in my mind for all of the activity and the work and the energy that's going to be used in order to act on and achieve those goals. When you just keep them in your head and you're expecting to be able to organize and, and prioritize and structure and, and plan and execute of all that, that noise in your mind, you're just setting yourself up for disappointment, even failure. And I don't like to use that word. Um, you know, so what we want to do is give you that 42% where if you would just get it out of your head and onto a piece of paper, you're already elevating, even accelerating your probability for success. But then should you choose to then go share them with someone— and again, that could be a friend, a colleague, a boss, a professional coach or mentor— uh, well, then you're increasing your probability by 65%. Now, the only caution I would throw out to anyone in that regard into sharing your goals is make sure whoever it is you're sharing them with, they are a confidant, they are a supporter, a motivator, but they're also going to hold you accountable. The most important part of that is the confidant. You want to be able to trust that if you were to, you know, kind of share, divulge, purge your dreams and goals onto someone that they're not going to, you know, they're not going to laugh at them. They're not going to shut them down. They're not going to discourage you. They're not going to tell you you can't. You need to trust that if you're going to be that vulnerable to share what it is that you really want to achieve, that it, you know, the support's going to be reciprocated. And, and, you know, the fact that the motivation and inspiration, the cheerleading, the accountability will all come, come with you sharing it. Um, so you definitely want to, uh, you know, kind of assess and do due diligence on, uh, anyone or anywhere that you might want to share your goals. And what I mean by that is some people think I'm absolutely nuts because I'll share some really big goals, some really intimidating goals, not only to other people but to me, out on like my Facebook page or Twitter or I'll share it here, you know, on Shedding the Bitch or in our Powerhouse Mavericks group. You know, such as this year, 2022 will be the year of my screenplay. It's written and now I need to put it out there and I need to start pitching it and start, you know, working the opportunities to get it produced and developed. Well, for some people, you know, putting that out there is very intimidating. They, you know, they'll, they'll start really questioning themselves and doubting themselves, and then they'll fear any feedback, especially the ugly feedback that they might get from people. And I have moved on from worrying about anyone that's going to spew on any goals and dreams that I have, or my clients have, or my family or friends have. And I'll shut that down really fast because we should be able to share what it is that is ringing in our hearts and what it is that we want to do in this one lifetime that goes really, really, really fast and not fear retribution or retaliation or, or hate speech or bullying or anything else. Um, and so sharing your goals done properly, um, will also provide you that confidence and that stability And almost that's, um, uh, I want to say springboard, but that wasn't the word I wanted. Uh, almost the safety net that if you find that person that you trust and that you have confidence in, that will support you and motivate you, even hold you accountable at times, then you almost feel as if you're not alone. And that if things come up, because they will, if things come up, you can handle them. So, uh, 42% by simply writing them down, 65% by sharing them. But this is the number, this is really the number that, you know, you— I want you focusing on. And that would be if you were to have that accountability partner, that official kind of ability partner. That doesn't mean necessarily formally you're paying them, but just that they officially understand that you've asked them to be an accountability partner. You've laid out your goals, you've laid out your action plans, you've laid out your timetable of when you want, want to be doing things and achieving things. And this person or group is holding you accountable to that plan officially, not just, you know, like on the 65% of sharing them with someone. You would love that person to hold you accountable, but they may not be officially, formally, you know, working with you to hold you accountable. Um, but if you get that formal structure in place, again, by a friend or family, a colleague, a boss, a professional coach or mentor, then you're increasing your probability of success by 90%. And why is that key? Well, because so many of us fall short on pursuing and achieving our goals because we give up too easily. We let that first sabotaging chatter in our mind to kind of derail us. We, we allow that first, you know, inkling of, oh my God, I can't do this, or I don't deserve this, or, or I'm not good enough for this, to derail us. We allow the first intimidation of, oh my gosh, I have to learn this new skill, or I have to hire this person, uh, to derail us. An accountability partner would allow you to see that as you're working your plan And as you're dealing with the highs and the lows and the struggles and the, then the ease, the fact that all of those things are going to be necessary in order for you to achieve your goal. And that accountability partner will ensure that, you know, the plans that you've set out are the plans that you're acting on. And if you're not acting on them, then why? And, you know, maybe things changed and that's fine, but that accountability partner can be there to really help you justify and think through and strategize and formulate, you know, what it is that you need to be doing, when, where, how, and why, in order to keep moving forward. And that's why that, you know, that jumps up to 90% by having that person with you along the way that you can lean on. All right, so there's a lot of different reasons and benefits you know, and we haven't even gotten to the focus and the clarity and the confidence that all of that achievement will provide you. But why are you still not doing it is really what I want to ensure that we touch on in this conversation, is why are people still not doing it? Because it is a very small percentage of people that are, you know, setting goals and using their goals. So one of the things that I would, I would often do as I am, um, as I am out there speaking or training is, especially if you put me in a room, um, of a, you know, full of people, especially business people, uh, I will sit there and I will ask them, uh, you know, I will ask them multiple questions. How many of you have goals? And majority of the people's hands will go up. And then I'll ask, okay, how many of you have those goals written? And a good number of those hands come down. Then I'll ask, okay, so how many of you have goals, have them written, and you use them each and every day? And a small 1 to 3%— I'll give it 5%, but that's high— um, will, will be left with their hands up. Um, and, you know, I've even saw this in corporate for many years, is, you know, big amounts of money would be spent in order to, you know, go and create the, the business strategy and the business plan, you know, for, for a given, you know, number of months or years. And then it gets into a binder and put up on a shelf and not really ever utilized and leveraged. And so I just have always been extremely passionate to ensure that, um, goal setting is not just kind of like a, you know, do it and be done with it. It's not something that you, you kind of write it down, you put it on a shelf, and you don't refer to it. It is a living, breathing tool. And even being living and breathing, it's ever-changing. It's ever-changing. And it's a tool that should be used, if not your big goals on a daily basis, but those action plans and the breakdown of your goals into smaller chunks should be used on a regular basis. And I would even say on a daily basis. So, you would just want to ensure that however you choose to get them documented and laid out, that, you know, you get a white binder. I have my white binder here, but not literally a white binder, but have a, you know, a binder of some sort where you're actually, you know, have your goals printed off and you're using them, you know, on a regular basis. But why? Why aren't you? Well, first off, you know, the simple part, which we're not going to go through here, We're going to address that next week. But the simple part is people don't know how to set their goals. And this goes, you know, between individuals, it goes into, you know, small business and even into corporate-sized businesses. People just aren't comfortable and don't know how to properly structure a goal in such a way— and there is— in such a way that it allows you to be a massive producer, a revenue generator, and an abundance creator. It allows you to have that roadmap that specifically lays out all the details, all the tasks, all the timelines, all the resources, all the elements of information you need in order to act on and, and achieve a goal, whether it's a milestone, a smaller goal, or a, you know, the overarching big goal. Um, they just don't know how. And what I would suggest to anyone that just doesn't know how is you can certainly, you know, Google how to, how to define or create goals, how to write down goals. Um, you can, you know, look up even the SMART goal methodology, um, or you can even come over to Facebook into our Powerhouse Mavericks, um, group. And on Thursday of this week at 1 PM Eastern time, we are going to be having a conversation in regards to, um, uh, smart goal setting, uh, and walking through and providing you coaching. So if you, you know, wanted to come and join in and be live and allow me to look at the goals you've defined, um, and kind of give you feedback as to how to really amp them up, or you don't have the goal defined but you have an idea of what it is you want to do and I can help you actually get it down on paper, then come over to our Powerhouse Mavericks group on Facebook. Just kind of search for that and join in on the group. And Thursday at 1 PM, we're going to go live with a session on creating your 2022 goals. All right, so the, the reason that people give me about, well, I just don't know how, is more of an excuse for not doing it, and it's easily solved. Okay, the other reason why they don't believe— the other reason why they don't do it is because they don't believe it works. Now, there are definitely those that don't believe goal setting works, and, um, and I, you know, would challenge anyone, um, with that kind of viewpoint, um, because when I do— because I get that that, um, disagreement raised up to me. Uh, when I do, I then ask to understand how they go about— I don't care what words they use, but they go about identifying what it is that they want to achieve in life and, you know, put— putting some action toward it and achieving it. What is that process? What is that framework? What is that procedure, whatever you might want to call it, it comes down to goal setting. They may not want to look at it as if it's goal setting, but that's what it comes down to because it's really simple. It's identifying what it is that you want to, want to do and achieve, kind of having a plan of how you're going to go about doing it, and then taking that action to go do it leads you to achieving whatever it is that you've laid out. So call it what you want, a goal or not a goal, Um, but, um, the fact that they don't believe it works, uh, I often will also see that there wasn't a lot of effort or attempt to actually do it by— and what I mean by that is actually setting those goals and taking action toward accomplishing them. Um, and you know, that's okay, that's okay. But as a coach, I would want to definitely make sure that they have the tools and they have the knowledge and they have the mindset, uh, that is needed in order to realize that having those goals would help them tremendously as they move forward. So another reason why people don't is they've either in the past have set the wrong goals, or they're afraid of setting the wrong goals. Um, very much like as business owners, many of you fear that you're going after the wrong target market. The wrong ideal client. You're, you know, you, you don't have the right products or services being offered, and therefore you get in your head, you get overwhelmed, you get insecure, you start doubting yourself as far as whether or not you are actually working on the right things. Um, and so very much like that, many of you have that fear that you're going to set the wrong goals, and I can understand that. I, uh, it's been many, many years, but I would say back in 2008, uh, going into 2009, uh, I, I defined a very costly goal, a very costly goal, um, for myself. And, uh, yeah, it was wrong, you know, it was wrong. But, you know, and yes, I couldn't get that time back, and I certainly didn't get the money back that I invested, but yet at the same time I had to look at it and find all the lessons and, you know, all the silver lining from that time period. And trust me when I say there was tons of lessons and even blessings that came out of that experience. So don't be afraid of setting the wrong goals. And if you are, then just go and find someone to talk through them with and strategize and justify the goals that you're defining. And they can help you kind of, you know, align them to make sure they're congruent with what it is that you are actually thinking about or, or wanting. So don't be, don't be afraid and don't use that as an excuse because there's a lot of different people and ways for you to get some information and, and kind of justification as to whether or not the goals that you're setting are, are, you know, right or wrong. All right. Now a big one, a really big one for many people is they just, they don't want to be accountable. They're afraid of putting their goal down on a piece of paper, even for themselves, let alone to other people. Because what if they, they don't not only achieve it, but what if they don't even follow through in executing against it? Uh, so as I mentioned at the beginning of the, of the show, uh, it is 2022. It is a new year, and many people are out there working on some resolutions that they've defined or created for themselves. And in a matter of hours, days, and even very, very, very few weeks, those resolutions will have gone away. Well, why is that? Why is that? Um, you know, and I would, you know, I would look at it as, you they had a great idea and that they started questioning themselves as to whether or not they could even accomplish it. So they don't want to be disappointed. They don't want to, you know, miss or not meet expectations of themselves or other people. And, you know, and ultimately, one of the big reasons why people don't is that fear of failure. And forget that unmet expectations could be looked as failure, disappointment could be looked as failure. But this is, you know, those people that are really feeling that kind of really hard pain, um, of not pursuing and/or achieving their goals, that failure that, that some folks feel. And what I would say there is I don't look at failure I look at any attempt that somebody makes to do anything is kind of almost like, you know, their test run. It worked or it didn't work. There's things to be learned from it. There's things to kind of throw away from it. There's things to use and enrich and enhance around it. I would never want anyone to look at it as failure because you just even wanting to create a goal, declare a goal, own a goal that you then want to pursue and achieve. Whether you achieve it or not is not failure. My loss of close to $150,000 when I first went out on my own within a matter of months, I did not look at as failure. I looked at it as bad decisions. I looked at it as a rush to take action. There was a number of other things. I never said to myself, well, I failed at X, Y, and Z. Uh, so it's really— failure is all about kind of how you view things. So if you were to go and set your goals, if you were to set a goal that all of a sudden, you know, didn't happen, or didn't happen the way you expected it to happen, or didn't happen to the degree, uh, it's not failure. Yes, you may have not met the expectation that you had, but there was something that came out of it, and it's just a matter of how do you view what it is that's come out of it. Another example I would give is, um, I started writing my screenplay to my, um, that I adapted from my book Shedding the Corporate Bitch, and I started writing that back in 2014-15. Um, area. And it was 2019, and I was still working on it, and I was just hiring a coach at that time. It went on the shelf in 2020. Um, I looked at it in 2021 and said, oh, you know, this is pretty tight. Uh, and I real— but I didn't do anything with it. And then I made the decision that it was going to be a core goal of mine this year. Uh, did I fail? Did I miss my expectation? Because I definitely planned for it to be out and, you know, kind of sold and even developed by now. Um, you know, did I, you know, disappoint myself? Quite honestly, you know, no, on any— all of those things, you know. I kind of looked at it as, well, it's happening for a reason. The stall, the, the, the, the lack of motivation toward it. Um, obviously the universe was telling me to go focus on something else, and so I just went focusing on something else, and I came back. Uh, the failure— if I was to see, you know, or label anything to be a failure for anyone, I would say just not doing it. Not not doing it meaning you have a goal and you didn't do anything about it. I'm even talking about before that. I'm even talking about not even kind of acknowledging it, you know, kind of not even ever considering what you— what your goals are. And I still wouldn't want to call it failure for anyone. I would call it sad. And, and, you know, I wouldn't even call it disappointment because that's not my place to do that. But You know, we all have a purpose and a reason for why we're here. And so just not being willing to acknowledge that, it's kind of sad for me. That's me, okay? For you, I would just want to make sure that you're not beating yourself up, that you're not, you know, kind of putting yourself down even further than what you might already be feeling because of this fear of failure, this fear of disappointment. Disappointment, this fear of unmet expectations, so forth and so on. Now, another big one, um, that keep people from wanting to set goals is a fear of success, actually. And for a long time, I didn't— I, I didn't understand it. I'll be quite honest, I, I kind of contemplated, uh, what does that mean? But then I realized that was me, is I didn't have a fear of failure, as I mentioned. Mine was fear of success. What changes would happen if I actually succeeded? How would it, you know, change where I live, what I do, who I love, you know, how far I am from my family, how much money I make, you know, that all of that, like, how would it change me? And I started looking at that kind of almost, you know, thinking, oh my gosh, this is ridiculous. But yet I started talking about it. And many of you came to me saying, I deal with the same thing. That if I was to actually achieve my goals, what would it do to everything that I know? Um, and there I would, you know, also say, because I had to tell myself, is just imagine if it was bigger, better, and, you know, different and newer than where you are right now. And you're not going to know until you actually succeed. So why kind of hold back or stall or delay what it is that you don't know. You know, you don't know what you don't know, right? So go and figure it out. Go and know it. And you're only going to know it if you actually do it and achieve it. So that kind of helped me tremendously, I would say, in the last, uh, 4 or 5 years, getting over that fear of success. Uh, and then, you know, lastly, and sometimes I have to talk to my clients about this, it's been a while, but some people are just— and I hate to say it, but I'm going to, tough love here— are just lazy when it comes to wanting to set goals and have put a plan together. It's not because they don't know how, it's not because they fear something, it's not because, you know, they, they, um, you know, don't believe it works. It's just simply because they think it's hard, they think it's involved, they think it's unnecessary. And, you know, and I just kind of lump that into they're just being lazy about doing the work that's needed. And trust me when I say, at first, if you're learning it especially, it could be involved, it can look arduous and involved. But as you use it and as you work your way through it it becomes like minutes of effort. I mean, it becomes almost like, you know, meaningless as far as kind of the amount of time that it takes and the amount of effort or energy, because it becomes so natural when you really get into being a planner and a goal setter. It just becomes so natural. And then, you know, you using it on a regular basis like that living, breathing tool that we talked about. You know, all of a sudden starts creating that energy, you know, that confidence, that focus, that clarity, that certainty, that persistence, that determination, that optimism, uh, and, you know, as you're fueling all of that great stuff— and I'll call it stuff because I would use the word energy, but that's one of the elements— but so as you're creating and generating you're all of a sudden finding that you are massively producing, you are abundance creating, you are revenue generating. And all of a sudden everything around you just seems to pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And how wonderful of a, of a life is that? Um, and I can attest to it, um, you know, especially over the last, I would say, 3 years. It's just been one big popcorn machine.. And I am absolutely honored and humbled by it. But, and I have to say that I'll lean a great deal on the reason for it is just the goals and the plans and then the people that I surround myself with in order to be held accountable, in order to have that support system, in order to lean on those people, both professionally, meaning I invest in them, or personally, that they're just part of my posse or my tribe. But there's so many reasons, good reasons, benefits, value, impacts, riches, as I call them, for, you know, the whole process of goal setting. And so I hope that as you go into this year, as you walk closer, you know, into or further deeper into this year, um, you recognize it for yourself as well. And you, you know, sit down and whether it's on your own, whether it's you Google and look for, you know, instruction online, whether it's a training course, um, or a program, or whether it's you even can join our Powerhouse Mavericks, um, and get some training there, or a professional coach, to really help you define your goals and that action plan. Uh, I, I know, I know you will see significant results and significant riches, um, this coming year and going forward. So kind of consider all of the, you know, reasons why people have these love-hate relationships and connections to goal setting. And I hope that you want shift your way toward the love side of the equation. And, um, and if you ever need any help or assistance in regards to that, then don't hesitate to reach out into the Ball of Fire coaching community, to the Powerhouse Mavericks community on Facebook, or directly to me, Bernadette Boas. All right, um, so that is our discussion for today, and I will look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time for another episode of Shedding the Bitch. Talk to you soon, everybody.

Bye! Thank you for taking part in Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV with Bernadette Boas. We would love to know what your biggest takeaway was. Go to Shedding the Bitch on Facebook or YouTube and leave a comment. You can also subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts and YouTube so you don't miss a single episode of the show. And with your input, we can help other powerhouse women just like you find the show and decide if it's right for them. Learn more about Bernadette at balloffirecoaching.com. See you next week.

part of my posse or my tribe. Um, but there's so many reasons, good reasons benefits, value, impacts, um, uh, riches as I call them, for, you know, the whole process of goal setting. And so I hope that as you go into this year, as you walk closer, you know, into or further deeper into this year, you recognize it for yourself as well. And you, you know, sit down and whether it's on your own, whether it's you Google and look for, you know, instruction online, whether it's a training course or a program, or whether it's— you even can join our Powerhouse Mavericks and get some training there, or a professional coach to really help you define your goals and that action plan. I know, I know you will see significant results and significant riches this coming year and going forward. So kind of consider all of the reasons why people have these love-hate relationships and connections to goal setting. And I hope that you wanna shift your way toward the love side of the equation. And if you ever need any help or assistance in regards to that, then don't hesitate to reach out into the Ball of Fire coaching community, to the Powerhouse Mavericks community on Facebook, or directly to me, Bernadette Boas. All right, um, so that is our discussion for today, and I will look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time for another episode of Shedding the Bitch. Talk to you soon, everybody.

Bye!