The Stuck Bitch is a Bitch!!!

BlogTalkRadio. Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com/SheddingtheBitch or share stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone. How are you on this beautiful Tuesday. Good day, good day, good day everyone! Happy, happy Tuesday! How are you? We are having a beautiful day here in Atlanta. I hope you are wherever you might be, and I just appreciate you being here and part of our Shedding the Bitch community. We have a special episode today and I'll get to that in a minute, but in the meantime I just pray that you're having a blessed, blessed day, week, month, year. I tend to get very nostalgic when I hear horrific stories like what's been going on in Sri Lanka. And of course, last week we talked about Notre Dame. So, ah, times when the world just seems to be crashing down on top of us. We always want to be looking for, for the light. We want to be shedding that type of angst and sadness, and hopefully not depression, but if it is, whatever that, you know, yuckiness might be, and look for the sun, look for the brightness, look for the smiles in the world, the joy in the world. And I'll certainly be doing that myself, and I pray that all of you will will as well. Today's episode is a special episode because it's going to be a replay of our favorite episode so far this year, and that was all about shedding the stuck bitch. I shared with you back in February kind of the dilemma that I was having and provided you some tips, advice, and strategies for when you get stuck. Whatever degree that looks like to you, how to kind of confront it, how to shed it, and then how to really create momentum and inspiration and action so you can move beyond it. As well, I just want to mention that we've had some great episodes since, and some of those include our conversation last week about shedding the ego. And, you know, stop caring what other people think. We've also talked about the procrastination bitch or getting over it, and yes, we all agree procrastination sucks, so what can you do to stop procrastinating, stop avoiding, stop putting things off? And then our Ask Me Anything episode, which is the first Tuesday of every month, therefore the first week of April, We talked very business subjects. We talked about hiring, when to hire in a small business, a business of your own, but also when you're working for corporate and you're trying to build a team, when is the best time to be doing that, but then how do you go about doing that and what mistakes should you avoid when doing that. So we've had some fabulous episodes and you can always check them out. Download them, stream them, whether that's from Apple Podcasts, that's from iTunes, it could be from sheddingthebitch.com or on blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio. However you get our program, I— we just want you to enjoy them, learn from them, and hope— hopefully they will help you create the riches in life that you deserve. But as I mentioned, today due to a last-minute emergency, we are replaying one of our most popular episodes, Shedding the Stuck Bitch. And again, if you just need some small tips and pieces of advice, I hope you enjoy this episode. And next week, for those of you who've been listening to the program for one year or a number of years, next week is my annual on the road, go to the beach, vacation with my sisters, and broadcast the show from Ocean City, New Jersey. How exciting is that? But I can't wait to hang out with my 5 sisters and my, my nieces, as long as they're over 21, mind you. And I'm just looking to be able to kick back and relax with them. But I'll look forward to talking with you this time, same time, next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. In the meantime, enjoy this episode and we'll talk soon. Take care, everyone. Today we are gonna be talking about unique and uncommon ways of getting unstuck. And this became very attractive to me in a discussion because I feel that as a coach, as a mentor, as someone that a lot of people rely on for their own motivation and inspiration and guidance and direction and, an achievement. I wasn't myself as I've been going through this period of being stuck on my own. I haven't found the usual things that I even coach my clients on working for me, and maybe that's a little bit extreme. I needed something new. I needed something different. I needed to add flavor and challenge to my usual and typical but very effective, they're very effective tools and strategies that I've always leaned on and that therefore I've coached on. But I just wanted and needed to go and look for different angles to take on this, on this life of being stuck, because we all get stuck. Even I get stuck as a coach and mentor. And so I went looking, and I thought, well, you know what, other people might want to also, uh, learn and understand different ways and strategies and tools they can use, uh, to get themselves unstuck. So that's what we're going to be talking about today. So your rich question— and that's a question that we pose to you as we go into our conversation. We want to get you grounded in the topic and consider if by chance you are experiencing it, consider your own state of mind, your own state of being, your own state of action as it pertains to that topic. So that's our rich question, and today it is all around being stuck. So the question being, what do you experience or feel when you are stuck? What do you experience or feel when you are stuck? Now, you don't have to share your thoughts. You don't have to share, um, or no one will be checking in with you. What we want you to do is really be aware and honest with yourself as to your emotional, mental, spiritual, physical state of being and around any particular issue, challenge. Uh, I can't— I'm drawing a blank, but we— I just want you to be present and real with yourself in regards to anything that you might be experiencing. And in this case, this week It's about when you are stuck, what do you experience or what do you feel? And I'm hoping and expecting that as we go through this conversation, you'll find ideas and strategies and tips that you can then apply to that answer to that question and get yourself moving in a direction that also helps you get unstuck or at least kind of moving forward in a more productive, effective way. All right. So what do you experience or feel when you are stuck? Rich tags, if you're out on Facebook or Twitter with us, you could be using a hashtag #GetUnstuck, hashtag #FeelingStuck, or hashtag #ShedTheBitch. All right, so we're going to take a quick break. When we come back, we're going to dive into these radicals. Some of us may find them radical. I know I did on a couple of them, and we'll talk about that, but some radical new and different ways of of you working through being stuck. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business. Available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to ngtaxsolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email deborahparker@ debra.parker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are talking about being stuck and how to get unstuck, but not in the typical traditional ways, and we'll talk about that in just a minute. But first, what does it mean to be stuck? How do you know if you're stuck? Have you ever kind of put that title onto what might find— you might find to be a place of discomfort, or a place of just emptiness, or lack of motivation? But how do you know if you're stuck? Here are things you might consider. And you can kind of make a list of this and then just check off which one, if one, several, or all of them apply to you, because it might help you define and put a title or a theme to what you might be feeling and experiencing. So, maybe nothing in your life excites you, or your work just seems mundane, repetitive, or boring. The people in your life are more agitating than they are inspiring or motivating. The effort of your work or play seems exhausting or unrewarding. Maybe you are feeling empty, void, blank, or just bored. Maybe you are tired, exhausted, or even exasperated. And those all can come up in very, very different ways. Maybe you do not have anything you look forward to or very few things. That you really look forward to doing or experiencing. Maybe folks around you, family, friends, colleagues, have noticed you behaving withdrawn or disengaged or unhappy or agitated. Again, you can make a list of these things and kind of check off which ones apply to you. And there is nothing wrong with it being one, several, or all of them. I have to admit, as I really have been spending the last 5 or 6 weeks— I've shared with you, uh, my ongoing journey of being stuck, uh, that I felt all, uh, most if not all of these things. That nothing in life really excites me. And yet when I really, you know, thought about it— so what I did, and this is kind of a suggestion for you, is I took this list I checked off which ones I feel apply to me. And then I made sure that I looked at the opposite, meaning it's not as if nothing in life excites me. So I kind of said, well, wait a minute, it's not that nothing in life excites me. However, what doesn't excite me? And then I even looked at what does excite me. So like my puppies excite me, or, you know, my pickleball playing. Believe it or not, excites me, gives me pleasure, I look forward to it. You know, when it comes to your work seems mundane, repetitive, or boring, I would have to look at, and you might want to look at the fact that it's not all areas of your work, but some of it you just feel like you're on the gerbil wheel, things are just always looking the same, feeling the same. A friend of mine last night was sharing that He's a realtor, and he was, you know, he shared that he was feeling as if his pitches just seem always to be the same, that it's just almost exhausting. Like, another one of these, um, ways to tell if you're stuck is, you know, things are exhausting or exasperating or just tiring. Um, and he was saying, he was sharing how, you know, his pitches, presentations, however you want to, you know, call the sales process just seems like he goes through the same old motions each and every time. So, whatever you might be feeling, whatever you might be experiencing, whatever might be kind of just holding you down or in place, just kind of look at it and be okay with that. So, take that list, identify which ones apply to you, and then I'll be sharing some different ways of looking at things. So, maybe you can get jolted into action that would result in you finding yourself getting unstuck. So, whether you are feeling one, several, all these things, every one of us do get stuck at some point in our life. So, we will talk about some unique, new, some, some might consider them radical ways for you to get unstuck, or at least identify and be okay with it. Then if you have any ideas of your own, if you've experienced this and you want to share your own tips or advice and/or your experience with applying one or more of these strategies, go out on Facebook on Shedding the Bitch and share with us what you might be experiencing yourself. All right. Now I will note for you, kind of diverting for just a bit, That earlier thunder that you heard has now broken into very dark clouds here in Atlanta and a major thunderstorm going on outside and a major rainstorm going on outside. Hopefully you are not hearing it and experiencing it, but I am also seeing now quite a bit of lightning. So, at some point— I am not plugged into anything that might cause an issue for myself. And/or our connection. But if I do feel as if we might get cut off, I might just have to cut our discussion short, but I'd come back, record it, and make sure you get a hold of it. Just wanted to give you that heads up. All right, so let's talk through some different, unique, and maybe you might consider them radical ways of getting unstuck. But the first one is to actually give in to being stuck. Be okay with it. Don't force yourself to fix what you might feel is— now, this is what I find to be radical. I always want to fix things. I'm a fixer. That's kind of, you know, how, you know, how I'm made up, um, whether or not I was a child or, you know, a professional in, in my work, or just the adult, the being that I am, the 57-year-old woman that I am. I just, when I see something broken, I want to fix it. And yet I've learned over the last 6 weeks that I just can't always focus on the fixing of something that is broken. I just need to let it be broken. Now And on the flip side of that is at least trying to focus on and being aware of something that might be broken and understanding it, trying to at least dig into it a little bit to understand it and then, you know, decide to be okay with it and/or work, you know, your way through, not necessarily fixing it, but at least understanding it. But don't force it. Be okay with it, the fact that you're stuck. Let go of it and everything that has to do with it. Now, I've mentioned to you more, more times than probably Deborah wants me to, but I've mentioned to you how, uh, you know, Deborah— you know Deborah of Parker House Virtual Services? She's online right now. She produces the show. She follows, you know, your tweets and Facebook postings, and then she posts them for our community as well. But she had mentioned to me several weeks back, when I mentioned to her my experience with being stuck, she just said, "Let go. Just live in the moment right now. Do what, you know, you need to be doing right now. Don't worry about, you know, a grand plan or your goals or fixing the problem." And it's provided great relief and great comfort and great room to kind of walk through this journey, if you want to put it in those type of woo-woo type of words, but it's true. And, you know, so it's just letting go of feeling guilty, which many of us do, and especially if we are women, we feel guilty if we're not constantly, you know, going at life and, and, you know, working like a horse and being productive and delivering on things and getting things done and multitasking. It's exhausting. It's absolutely exhausting. And that's also why I wrote earlier, you know, one of the, the clues that might tell you that you're stuck is what told me that I was stuck, that I found everything exasperating. Not necessarily exhausting or tiring, just exasperating, which just kind of does take your breath away. But not only just in exhaustion. So be okay with that and acknowledge it and, you know, kind of say, okay, I'm just going to, you know, feel it, experience it, and live with it for as long as you can. And we'll get there in a minute. And now this one I definitely felt to be radical, um, because I am such a planner. And that is to just go opposite from planning, go opposite from being a planner, from having goals. Don't worry about it, uh, don't have an agenda, so to speak, even go as far as having a schedule. Go with the flow of every day and just minute by minute Let me back up. Moment by moment, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, and let's hope it doesn't go month to month, you know, month to month. But yet here I am, I'm about 6 weeks, 7 weeks into this, and it was very uncomfortable the first several weeks, very unbelievably uncomfortable for me because I'm such a planner. And a goal setter and an achiever and delivering results. And when I feel I'm— I don't have any of those things locked in, I feel, I feel very out of place, very uncomfortable. Yet I've just had to just say, let it go, let it go, and just go moment by moment, minute by minute, and go with the flow of each day. So if you should decide to go with the flow, If you're called to sleep in, sleep in. Don't worry about that alarm clock that makes you just start getting frantic about having to, you know, attack your obligations, your responsibilities, things that you're accountable to. If you don't have a schedule, don't worry about it. Take things, you know, some things are routine, you know, whether you have a family or whether you're single, whether you have a business of your own or whether you work for other people. You know, some things are kind of prescribed for us. You know, we work from 9 to 5. We have meetings every Monday, you know, at 10:00 a.m. We have the kids to be picked up at school at 3:00. You know, so forth and so on. Have those type of appointments, I'll call them an appointment, and yet if you don't, you know, have a full-blown-out schedule around those things, those appointments, don't worry about it. Don't feel like you have to go at it 100%, 100% of the time. You know, go at 100% 1 hour at a time, whatever the case might be. But be okay with letting go of even that schedule. If you don't have anything to do, don't do anything. Sit on your couch, go for a walk, um, you know, go out to lunch with a friend. Or choose to do something you feel you want to do, not that you're obligated to do. And then just let everything else kind of take care of itself. So go opposite from planning and just— and this was my— these first two, you know, don't forcing yourself, being okay with being stuck, and going opposite from planning are the things that for me over the last 4 weeks, 5 weeks have been very uncomfortable, but I've learned and I've pushed myself through experiencing those things. And quite honestly, uh, Deborah was just asking me before we got on the program how I'm feeling, and I know she didn't mean kind of just from my, you know, feeling stuck, but overall, I, you know, because all you know, I also have been very sick. I'm not anymore. So that should have been put in past tense. But, you know, so I'm sure she was asking just all around how you feel it. And yet at the same time, I shared with her that, you know, from, from my stickiness perspective, I was feeling much better letting go of it, not having a plan, just going with the flow has felt very good. But it didn't at the beginning. It really didn't. And then a renter and a friend of mine, actually a couple friends of mine, have also taught me about running away from it all. So that's another idea you might have, just running away from it all. And I mean literally. So should you decide— like my renter, I rent my main house as I've shared with you, uh, and she just decided— she's been going through a lot of transitions in her life— she literally decided from, uh, let's see, Friday late afternoon Sunday morning— well, Saturday night and then Sunday morning she acted on it. She just decided she was gonna up and go away for a month. And, you know, she— so she took care of her dogs and got them situated. She took care of whatever arrangements she needed, you know, in her world. And within a day and a half from the time she decided to the time she actually jumped into Uber and headed to the airport, she decided she was just going to go away and kind of do what she needs to do for about a month. Uh, another friend of mine took off to the— this wasn't recent, this was about a year, year and a half ago— took off to the Georgia mountains to a retreat. Came across something, you know, as she was working her way through her day, and she saw this retreat opportunity in the Georgia mountains and just took off. And another friend of mine went— and this was, uh, a couple years ago— went off to Italy and just said, you know what, I'm going to go off to Italy and do what Italians do: drink wine, eat good food, paint landscapes, you know, walk the countryside, um, and just kind of, to them, each of them, give in to feeling stuck and void and empty and just unmotivated with their usual and the comfortable life that they had been, they had been living up until that point. So you can choose to just run away from it all as well, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I would absolutely love to do that right now. I wouldn't mind going off. As I shared with you in the past, I last August, I went and joined a couple of my siblings with their kids and spouses and friends and went off to a remote rustic private island, you know, in Canada near Ontario. No Wi-Fi, no electricity other than for about an hour a day, and that was late into the evening. And really, you know, my family and friends kind of like didn't think I could actually survive it. And actually just absolutely loved it. Absolutely loved disconnecting, absolutely loved just being right there at that moment in time with my family and, and the kids and whatnot. It was fabulous. So you might choose to do it all and, and run away so you can then kind of reconnect with yourself. And that would be another thing, and I would think I'd have it close to that, but I don't. Another thing would be to just disconnect from it all. Take a Friday, Saturday, and a Sunday, and 3 days is probably the best to do. You— shorter than that and you, you haven't kind of, uh, kind of walked through it all. And I say that because I've done it for a day, and then I, I've done it for 3 days, and then of course, like I said, I did it for those couple weeks, and I wouldn't, you know, that is radical, and I wouldn't suggest you have to go that far, but 3 days is really good because it does, you find yourself just like vacation, you know, if you take a week vacation, you always think you need that couple days to get there, the under, a couple days to unwind, and then the next thing you know, you're finally relaxed and really enjoying the present. And the next thing you know, you are having to pack up and leave. So, that is how I would feel about disconnecting from, from life. Disconnecting from social media, disconnecting from your phone, disconnecting from your laptop and email, disconnecting even, you can go as far as your, your friends and your family, and just being with yourself. Maybe you have your pets with you. But, you know, just being with yourself for 3 full days. Start on a Friday and come back to life on a Monday morning. And I think you'll find a great amount of renewal and re-energy kind of come back into your being. So there is an opportunity as well. Let's see, before I get into this one, I think we'll take a break right now, and when we get back, I'll finish up some radical, or at least new ideas that you might leverage in order to move through your journey of being stuck and hopefully getting unstuck, should you choose that you're ready to do that. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email Deborah Parker at DeborahParker@phvservices.com. Va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are talking new and radical ways of you getting unstuck, should you be. Some of you might not be, and if you're not, and/or maybe you've been stuck and you've worked your way through it and have your own ideas and tips and strategies for us, please go to Facebook to our Shedding the Bitch page and share them with the community. We— I don't ever espouse that I have all the answers, so if you have new, different, or things that even just work for you, we'd love to hear about them. And keep in mind, if you go out to Facebook to our Shedding the Bitch page, say hello or go as far as giving us a tip or a piece of advice, I'll send you a free autographed copy of my book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Rich Bitch to Rich in Life and Business. All right, we were talking some new and potentially radical strategies for you. I wouldn't call this next one radical, but it's a good way and a new way of you looking at how and why you're stuck, and that would simply be to make a list of how you got to the point of being stuck. And that sounds quite logical that a coach would propose you do that. Quite honestly, I tend to be the type of coach myself that doesn't necessarily look to the past to kind of identify where you are in the present. But I would suggest that you do so. It helped me tremendously, almost like the list I gave you at the top of the hour. You can go back and listen for that as to what causes or what are the symptoms of being stuck. But make a list of what kind of brought you to being stuck. I know for myself, I had mentioned previously on other episodes that I had already had my, my goals and my plans laid out for the year, but several conversations, several experiences, uh, several situations that I was in from between Thanksgiving and Christmas all of a sudden had me looking at all of those plans and goals very differently. And, uh, the next thing you know, I knew I wanted to change them and/or make adjustments to them, but I found myself in the state of being stuck. And I don't look poorly on that, and I don't regret— because I don't have regrets— I don't regret that those situations and experiences caused me to look at my goals and dreams differently. I just needed to kind of figure out why that was. So I did make a list of— and you can make a list of what brought you to this point of being stuck. And then what I want you to do beyond— or not going beyond that, just making that list— is I want you to just X out that list as if like you're just like saying, no, I'm not having it. I'm not focused on the past. I don't care how I got here. All I really care about is moving forward. And but at the same time, I want you to forgive yourself for allowing those things to happen that brought you to that point. So you can almost, if not literally, you know, pull off that page, rip it up and throw it away, and just move forward and be okay with the fact that you got to that point of being stuck. So that kind of gave me some, some great relief— maybe not great, some relief— in what I was looking at from how I got from having my goals and my dreams laid out to where I was not even questioning them, just knowing that they weren't quite as honest and as true as I wanted them to be. And now it's a matter of just finding out what that truth and, and realness is for myself. And maybe, you know, you can work through the same for yourself. So make a list of what got you to the point of being stuck. Put a big old red X maybe through it, or tear it out of the— out of your journal or your notebook and rip it up and throw it away and say, I am good with how I got here. Now it's a matter of moving forward through this. All right, the other thing would be to acknowledge it aloud. And what I mean by that is I certainly have an opportunity with all of you, and I tend to just do it when— even in my speaking and my coaching, I don't hide from my truth. At least I hope I, I don't. I don't think I do. And I just share it openly because we are all human and we all go through highs and lows, and there's nothing— at least for me, there's nothing to be ashamed of. There's nothing to hide from. There's nothing to feel guilty about. That's why I probably don't have any regrets. And acknowledging it aloud kind of gets it out of your head, where God knows the games that we play with ourselves mentally. And, and it kind of, you know, loses its power, as many gurus would say, once you put it out there. So another way that you could acknowledge it aloud, because, you know, majority of you aren't radio hosts or speakers or whatever the case might be, but find that tribe of people that you can voice your stuckness. If that's a word. It's not. But you can voice your feelings of being stuck with. Now I want you to, you know, find that tribe, but I want you to consider a few things. All right, I want you to find those people that are curious interesting and challenging. There are people that you can trust. There are people that can ask you great questions. They're not— they're not afraid of asking tough questions. They'll dig deep in what it is that you're experiencing, even if it does mean going to the past, looking at the, the present, and, and considering the future. They're creative and innovative in their thinking. Now thinking, and I'm emphasizing that for a reason, and stay with me here. They, or they might just be simple and uncomplicated. You know, I would even say the input that Deborah provided to me was simple and uncomplicated, and yet it was so profound to me. It really was. I was like, oh my gosh, you're absolutely right. What if I just kind of let go of having a grand plan and I just kind of lived in the moment? So simple and uncomplicated is just as good, if not better, than creative, out of the box, or innovative thinking. But, there's a big but here, beyond all of those things, These people, these individuals, these disclosures and discussions and collaborations, they're people who are not meant to give you advice or coaching or counsel or answers to your story. So let me emphasize that again. These are people that you can share and dump and discuss close and pour your heart out and cry to or laugh with or be embarrassed or ashamed with. Yet they're not there necessarily to give you advice, at least at first. They're there for you to just be able to purge and dump on and just share with. Um, and I— this came to real light for me last night when I was talking with my friend John And I think he was caught off guard, as many people are when it comes to me. He was caught off guard when all of a sudden I was, you know, uh, revealing my vulnerabilities, and I was, you know, all of a sudden sharing with him that I'm stuck. Many people don't have that impression of me. They just always see me as very focused, as very, you know, goal-oriented, as very results-driven. They don't picture me ever being stuck. And it's probably because in the past— and maybe many of you are experiencing this, and that's why I'm sharing it— is you, you just don't and haven't purged or poured your heart out to other people, because maybe you do feel embarrassed or ashamed, or, you know, you don't want to come off— especially me as a coach and professional person who's supposed to be helping other people. Supposed to be helping you to not be stuck. They don't, you know, necessarily want to see their own coach or mentor or consultant stuck or frustrated or not with the answers. And yet, you know what, we're all human. And I think that what makes me great at what I do is the fact that I've learned just recently, over the last several years, to just be okay with being vulnerable, okay with being raw, okay with not having it all together, and acknowledging that. Uh, so that's what I want for you, is find those— that tribe, find those people who are curious and interesting and challenging. And why that is, is when they, they— you do turn that corner of you wanting to just purge and you wanting someone who just is nodding with you their head and they're supporting and consoling you, or at least motivating you and inspiring you. They're doing all of that without having to provide their story, their advice, their, you know, expertise if it is professional, or their counsel. They're just simply there to receive whatever it is that you're experiencing. And then you might at that same time but later, or maybe at a different time, a day, a week, a month down the road, you're, you're then seeking specific advice or counsel for someone, or someone else's story. Then that's where, you know, them being curious, interesting, and challenging, uh, will come in. Because whether they kind of go and walk the same type of life and path that you do, or they're totally in a different realm of experiences or challenges or expertise. They can provide you newness and a different way of looking at things and these radical ideas that you might not have considered before. But I would propose that it's not immediate. You need a sounding board. You just need somebody that you can spew all your stuff to and doesn't have an opinion about it, doesn't have a judgment about it, doesn't have advice, um, to, to, uh, put on you. You just need at first to be heard. We all want to be heard. And I tend to, uh, you know, I tend to fall victim and not victim, guilty, guilty of always wanting to fix things. So We go back to, you know, the beginning. I definitely am a fixer, and I want to fix you. I want to fix problems. I want to fix things that are broken. And you know what? You don't always come to me. You're not always going to a friend, going to a colleague, going to a family member and wanting to be fixed. You just want to be heard. So find those people and spend time Finding those people who will just hear you. And at some point in time you may ask them, I'd love for your insights, advice, guidance, counsel, whatever the case might be. But it's not right away. Okay. All right. Another suggestion would be, or another— this isn't radical for me, but it is radical for a lot of people. You know, journal your way through this. Now you might even add journaling your way through this and speaking it aloud. And what I mean by that is journal it and even use it as a blog. I was mentioning to, um, Deborah before we got on here that all of a sudden something spoke to me. I have not been on Instagram, uh, never have been on Facebook, Twitter. You can find me anywhere and everywhere, and I have an account on Instagram, and God knows how I have followers. Because all I think that's out there was a photo as of yesterday morning. But something spoke to me over the last few days that I should be leveraging Instagram, Instagram to tell my story, to work through this experience of being stuck, but also my coaching and my guidance and my tips and my story. And so last night I happened to jump on as I was sitting in traffic. I had pulled over right by my house to actually do the video so I wasn't doing it while I was driving. But I just had to kind of express kind of this experience I was having in this traffic jam. And, you know, so that might be what you do. You might find a way to not— to definitely journal your, your journey. But also, you might want to combine that with speaking it aloud and sharing it with other people. Because the reason why I do this show, the reason why I've been doing this show on my own versus having guests, is because I've needed to speak it aloud. And I'm, you know, like I've mentioned, I'm not hiding from it. And I know many of you are experiencing being stuck yourself. And some of you, as I've mentioned, have gone through that and are on the other side of it and have your own story to share. So that's what I'm hoping that we can all do together. And you might find that you journaling it, which might turn into a blog or a vlog or something, will find yourself getting through your feelings of being stuck and void or blank or empty or uninspired or unmotivated as a result of it. All right, now this next one really spoke to me, and I can't take credit for it. I have to give it to Jennifer Loudon of JenniferLoudon.com. She's a personal growth pioneer and a writing coach, and when I saw this through my research and my kind of search for guidance online, uh, I came across this and I love it because not only because I'm a writer and a journaler— I love to journal, uh, I like— I love to kind of put in writing what I'm going through to work my way through it, uh, I love this idea because I had not thought of doing it in this way even though I'm a screenwriter, and you'll understand why that is in a minute. So her exact words a suggestion of getting unstuck is to write your story of stuck from 3 points of view. First, in second person, you, you climb the stairs, for instance. Only the you that is speaking is the stuckness. So you're speaking from the stuckness point of view. The stuckness actually talks, she says. Then the second point of view is write it from the point of view of an omniscient narrator, the voice of God, or the one who sees and knows all. So you might not believe in God, so whatever comes to you of a point of view of a narrator, of someone who sees and knows it all. All right, so you're speaking from the second person, you, from a point of view of a narrator, and then you're speaking from the first person, from your point of view. Let each story unfold in its own unique way. Each one will probably be very different. So as I mentioned before about making a list of how you got where you are, she's also suggesting speak from your heart, your own point of view. And, you know, tell a story of how you have got yourself to the point of being stuck and how— what impact that's having on you. So, from your own unique way. I love this idea, and specifically for that middle part, from the voice of God, because I have mentioned to all of you that I've been reading this daily devotional book called Jesus Calling. It's from Sarah Young. And it's written— what it is, is it's, um, daily devotions based on scripture, but then she has one or two paragraphs speaking from the point of view of God, or in Jennifer's words, or viewpoint, of someone that you consider, no, is one who knows all and sees all. And I've been loving it because it does put a whole different viewpoint, which is what Jennifer's objective is. And so I absolutely love that, and I will definitely— and I just found this just recently, and I haven't started doing it, but I will start and work on these 3 viewpoints. So that's an idea for you as well. All right, we're not even going to take a break because I want to make sure that we get all these tips and ideas in for you. So that's from Jennifer Loudon. You can always go to her website for more ideas, jenniferloudon.com. All right, so another thing would be, an idea for you would be to do something totally different. So, you know, it might be, and this came to me just yesterday, I was reached out by a recruiter, a corporate recruiter, and about a job opportunity that she thought my, LinkedIn profile perfectly matches. And of course, you know, in the past I would have, you know, just immediately, you know, kind of balked at ever, ever, ever considering a corporate job again. And yet I am leaving myself open to considering anything and everything and definitely trying new, different, and radical things. So I went and looked at that job description, and I said— and I suggested to her that, yes, you know, let's have a conversation. Now, between you and me, um, everything within my body kind of tremored when I read that job description. And again, exasperated came up for me when I read it because it took me back to my corporate days. And that's all I'll say about that now. And I'll give you an update on it in a future time. But quite honestly, considering that radical new idea, you know, definitely jolted me and definitely got me thinking about what I absolutely love and what I do and what I've loved in the past and kind of what this opportunity might provide to me. So I'm suggesting that you might take, you know, consider. Maybe it is a new job. Maybe it's a new hobby. Maybe it's a new kind of program or training or class. Maybe it's a new schedule or routine. This I definitely also have found radical for myself because I am very routine-driven. You know, my alarm clock goes off at a certain time. I have a routine, you know, with the morning news and with my breakfast and with my dog and with, You know, just throughout the day I am very routine-oriented. And yet, over the last 4 to 5 weeks especially, I have just let all of that go and not necessarily answered to my usual routines. So you might try something new. I mentioned in the last several weeks I have started an improv class. Yes, I have done similar classes in the past, so not real radical. But yet it wasn't something on my radar at all, and yet I just, it spoke to me and I've been doing that. And that definitely has opened up different and new, what I'll call areas of my heart, areas even of my mind and my brain and my thinking. So you might try that for yourself. All right, so then I would suggest only when you get to the point of really needing to get unstuck. Maybe you're just feeling some desperation or from some, um, urgency to back to work, to get back to life, to get back to generating income, to get back to being productive at work, to get back to living. And maybe that's, you know, as simple as your social life or being present for your children or your spouse or partner. You know, remember, a— one of those ide— one of those clues of whether or not you're stuck is whether or not people around you are kind of becoming aware of you not being engaged, you not being present, you not being happy. So only when you get to that point that you really need to get out of the state of being— unlike myself, Right now, I don't feel an urgency yet. I don't feel a desperation, and I'm okay with that, believe it or not. So if you're experiencing the opposite, and that you gotta get through this, then that's when I definitely would suggest going back to what I kind of find to be very basic, very foundational to somebody, and that is really think about what is it that you want in life, what is it you don't want in life, what makes you happy, what doesn't make you happy, what would you like to achieve or accomplish or take on in this week, this month, this year, and define it into a SMART goal. And if you don't know what SMART goals are, we're not going to talk about them here. You can go back, um, and look at any one of our past episodes and/or onto our blog on SheddingTheBitch.com, and you'll find blog posts and articles and episodes around SMART goals and how to define them. Maybe you just do one thing a day to immediately, in order to kind of push your way through getting unstuck, maybe it's, you know, looking at job openings or updating your résumé, or maybe you need to make some tweaks to your business plan or do something differently with your clients or your products and services or your relationship or your social life. Maybe it is as simple as going and finding a sport or a place to hang out or an activity to do or a class to take. But just start doing and moving towards something, even if your heart's not in it. Just, you know, take one action a day to kind of stimulate that, that action, that energy. And lastly, should you need to, hire a professional. Hire a coach. Hire a mentor. Find a counselor. Find a psychiatrist. I love the fact that You know, you'll see all these insurance commercials now talking about, you know, talk to your doctor about not only your body but your mind. And if you need to do that professionally, do so. All right? And let us know if any of these ideas or radical tips or tools work for you. Next week we're going to kind of touch on that last one. We're going to talk about the difference between coaches and mentors, counselors and consultants. To see how they might be able to help you and feed your not only getting unstuck, but maybe just— you're not stuck and you just want to accelerate your achievement and your successes. All right, so I'll look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday, but I do want to thank you for allowing me the space and opportunity to help you but also help myself. I absolutely am grateful to every one of you for that opportunity. So I'll talk to you next week, everybody. Have a great week. Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.