Top of Mind Career, Business and Life Questions Answered by Bernadette Boas

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910. Welcome, welcome, welcome everyone to this Ask Bernadette episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio. This is your opportunity to get your questions, your stories, even your challenges or situations you might be in addressed with tips, with advice, sometimes with tough love. We do this the first Tuesday of every month. So happy, happy, happy August. Can you believe it? Oh my gosh, 8 months of this year, or I guess a full 7 months. Of this year have already come and gone. It's kind of scary and freaky. Exciting too, because right around the corner, if you're someone who loves fall and football and all that kind of good stuff, then you're probably looking forward to that. I know here in Atlanta, the kids are back in school already. A good number of them went back Thursday and Friday of last week. Today, and then the balance of them are all in come August 1st. I'm sure private schools might have a different schedule. I just can't believe it. I'm from Philly, and as many of you know, and we didn't go back to school till after Labor Day. So the fact that, you know, there's a whole month in advance that Atlanta's back in school is kind of bizarre, especially from a traffic perspective, because all of a sudden all hell is going to break loose. With the traffic, but it is what it is, and we just go with the flow here on Shannon the Bitch. So I'm excited that you're here. We got some great questions that you have sent in to me, and keep in mind, we are actually— I landed up having to pre-record this, so if you do and you are sitting there and maybe you did call in or maybe you're on the chat room, don't hang up. Continue to listen, but— and just post either on Facebook or Twitter or email email me directly at BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com because I want to get your messages and your questions and your stories, and I want to be able to get them addressed for you. So I just had a last-minute hiccup with my schedule, and, but we're gonna get, we're gonna get you taken care of. And should you want to, you know, even call in during our next Ask Bernadette session, we can certainly have you do that. And if you even want, you know, a complimentary 15 minutes with me, 20 minutes with me, then just shoot me a note on either Facebook, Twitter, private message me, put it right out there on the post, or email me, BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com. We're just here to make sure you get taken care of. All right, but we do have a great lineup of questions. It's all business related this this time around, although one of them is about bullying, and I guess that could happen in our personal lives as well. But before we get to all of that, I want to do a shout out to my listeners, to the Shedding the Bitch community. I had mentioned last week my situation, or my nephew's situation, and asked for your prayers. And if you were to go to Bernadette Boas Boas. Her Facebook page, you'll see a write-up. They are in Cleveland at the Cleveland Clinic. They have been there since a week ago today, and my nephew has been dealing with this very rare neurological syndrome which makes it really difficult for him to hear any— hear noise, look at light, take in a lot of anything without it creating excruciating pain. And they also recently— he's 6 foot 1, I believe she said he is now, just turned 21, been dealing with this since he was about 14, and he's at 110 pounds. Because what they also found is he definitely has a soft palate, uh, which makes it absolutely excruciating for him to eat. So we should all kind of just say a prayer. Of course, I'd love that, and I would appreciate that. But also just kind of think about how fortunate we are. And what I love about— if there's anything to love about this situation— what I love about seeing photos of Kyle, even as he's all kind of tubed up and whatnot, laying in a hospital bed, he's got the biggest goddamn grin on his face. Because he knows that he's getting help, he's getting support. Sadly, they're saying that the doctors are just as stumped as everyone else that they've been seeing over the past, you know, 6, 7 years. So that's probably very, very, very discouraging and frustrating for them, but I've never met kind of a family so grounded in their faith and in just wanting to live for the moment. So thank you for all the shoutouts. Thank you for all the well wishes and the prayers. Please keep them coming because they certainly could use them and they certainly deserve them. All right. At the same time, we've had some awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome guests on the show. And the last couple, as I'm doing today, surprise, surprise, the last couple I've had in my studio in-house. And have been able to videotape them, so you can also go to our Shedding the Bitch YouTube channel, and if you're one who likes visual, you can see our lovely faces as I had spoken to Michael Moore at the beginning of the month, and we spoke about networking, net-weaving. If you don't know what that is, that's a great episode to listen to, and being mindful about what it is you're doing each and every day in your business, in your career, in your life, in order to move it that much closer to whatever goal or expectation you have for it. So check that interview out, that was fun. And at the same time, check out his eye and his forehead. He looks like he, you know, got in a fight with his wife or something. Oh, thank God he didn't. Um, the other one was Karen Rand. She, um, was on the program last week. We also videotaped her, and she spoke to us about the inside secrets of angel investing. Now, what she did was she took it on, um, the angle of if you're an entrepreneur, you need to understand what angel investors are thinking and planning and looking for from you if you're raising money. If you are someone who may be from corporate and, um, you're looking for some new investment strategies, if you think about it like real estate, you know, you could be putting your money, your disposable income, into startups or into those that are already into revenue or on the growth path and emerging. And that can be your— one of your investment strategies as well. So her book, and we're going to touch on, touch on some subjects today, but her book Inside Secrets of Angel Investing, or To Angel Investing, I'm sorry, uh, is available now everywhere you can buy books. And, uh, I would strongly suggest you doing that because whether you're in corporate or in a business of your own, understanding the capital market, raising capital, not necessarily, you know, you have to go and study stock boards and stuff like that. It is a huge, huge, uh, leadership and management advantage to you to understand that in case, you know, there's situations in your corporate organization where you get involved as you're going up the corporate ladder. Maybe they're in mergers and acquisitions. And it's just a great subject for you to differentiate yourself, whether you are in corporate or on your own, especially. And we're going to talk about what you want to do today, um, if you are looking for money, how do you go about doing that. So check out those programs, both on blogtalkradio.com for the audio or iTunes, or you can go to YouTube and pull down the video. And I'll be getting all of them up on sheddingthebitch.com as well. All right, we have coming up, uh, Beyond the Ask Bernadette episode, which again is the first Tuesday of every month. We're going to be talking to Bonnie Daneker, and she does everything around writing, publishing, really getting your expertise out there. And then Stephanie Barnes— oh, this is going to be good. All right, so long story short, many years ago when I first wrote Shedding the Corporate Bitch, I had a Black woman come up to me and say, hey, are you writing, you know, the Shedding the African American or Black Corporate Bitch as much as, you know, you have your book? And I'm looking at her like, well, I can't really write it, but why? And she said, because I, as a woman and being Black, I deal with very different issues in the workplace than you do. And that was very kind of eye-opening and humbling because sometimes I am kind of tunnel visioned and ignorant to anything outside of my own situation, right? Can you relate to that? So Stephanie and I got in this amazing conversation last week all about that and the fact that we have to constantly have dialogue and conversations about our differences and yet our similarities. And we have to understand what's going on in each other's world so then we can help make this a very harmonious, very equal world. So Stephanie's going to come on and share a lot in regards to that, and she's a leadership coach and a number of other things going on in her world. So all that conversation will be great to have as part of our Shedding the Bitch radio program. So stay tuned for that. All right, we're going to take a quick break and When we get back, we are going to start talking, ask Bernadette your questions, and the first one up is going to be around raising capital. So you corporate professionals, don't go anywhere, stay tuned, and this is a great conversation and understanding for you to have. And then we'll dive into some additional corporate and entrepreneurial and life type of questions when we get back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon, ShuttingTheBitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors: TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistants and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com. At gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are diving into your, uh, career, your business, and your life questions on this episode of Ask Bernadette. And the first up, we are going to be talking about raising capital, raising money, raising funds. Whatever makes it comfortable for you. Because when— as I speak to people and even, uh, coach individuals, especially women, unfortunately, they always get very intimidated by the idea of raising capital and getting in front of investors and that kind of thing. So if that's you, then just, uh, stay tuned because we'll make it really simple. And I'm bringing this viewpoint from my own experience. So if you want to get more and more from the view of the angel investor themselves, then definitely go back and listen to my interview with Karen Rand, who talked about the inside secrets to angel investing, and you'll get an idea of what those angel investors are thinking about and are looking for. This is going to come from the view of a professional, whether you're entrepreneurial or you're in the corporate world. Now, obviously, if you're a business owner, you probably have more direct need at some point to raise money than if you're in corporate. However, I would just advise and propose and recommend that you— any corporate professionals out there, as much as you can learn within the merger acquisition, raising capital, whether it's from angels or venture capitalists, is a huge advantage for you. All right, but I won't divert the conversation. So the question to me after that conversation with Karen Rand was, so Bernadette, I have a business, it's about a year, 2 years old, how do I go about kind of taking those first steps? Again, reading her book, Inside Secrets to Angel Investing, you would think that I'm her pitchwoman or something. Is a great place to start. However, coming at it from the business owner needing to raise money. So for many of you, why would you raise money? Well, you want to raise money to get started. You want to raise money— like she's a year, year and a half in, and maybe there's some significant investments she needs to make, whether it's in equipment or maybe it's in people. Or infrastructure, and she doesn't necessarily want to use her own money. And, you know, any, any leader of business will tell you, you should always spend other people's money if you want to make money. And when you're building your business, use other people's money as opposed to your own. Now, that's easier said than done for those of you starting out. So what can you do though, are just kind of, I would even say, on the 1 to 3 years or maybe you're just starting, so you're not even at the 1, what I would start doing is definitely getting educated around raising capital, raising money, raising funds, angel investing, even financing, whether that's through a bank or maybe your 401. I'm not— I'm not an expert, so I'm not speaking to the, you know, 401 and that kind of thing, but just get educated on where all the money sources out there. That would be the first thing. The second thing would be whether you're sitting there in an office, in your house by yourself working, you know, maybe you have an online business or maybe you have a graphic design business or maybe you have a coaching consulting business, maybe you're a writer, maybe you're kind of putting together, you know, your product on the dining room table, what you absolutely should have in place at the start of your business, 6 months in, 6 years in, 60 years in, is your business plan. Is all the components of that business plan that's going to provide you direction as far as what it is you're going to be working or are already working so hard to accomplish. So it goes into your mission of what it is you're trying to do and the vision you have for your company and your core values. And it might include your overall target market— well, it absolutely should— your marketing plan, your finance or investment strategy. And it would include your team. Again, it might be just you at the start, and that's okay, but you do need to recognize all the different positions you're going to need to have to operate your business and then start creating strategies as you move forward to fill those slots in with names other than your own.

All right.

So then you're going to have your products and services portfolio, and you're going to have revenue plans against those, how many you want to sell every month, you know, less your expenses, and then you get a full picture of your financial plan. From there, you simply want to kind of package that all up into what's considered a business plan. Now that's purely even a great exercise if you never intend to have— to raise money. It's a great exercise because it really ensures that you're thinking about what it is that you're trying to do, and what it is that you need to do in order to be successful. And if you are raising capital, or intend to at any point in time, you're going to need all that. I always advise my clients, no matter how early they are in their entrepreneurial adventure, that they should have a business plan now down and that revenue plan to support it. Alright, now. I would also, at this point in time, again, as early as you want, start not only reading and learning about angel investing or venture capital raising, but I would start networking and start building relationships in your community in your area, uh, whether that be a small town or a city or the entire state. And this I learned myself because, um, I went out on my own in 2008. I started hanging out in our local angel investment networking community in 2009, and that was because I knew even when I left corporate I wanted to build like an enterprise and that was going to require money. So I happened to come across some, some folks, uh, obviously— not obviously, um, it just so happened, uh, majority of them were men, if not all of them. And they suggested that I went to, you know, certain groups in the area that held networking events throughout the month. So the next thing you know, I was visiting 2 or 3, even 4 of them each month since 2009.. And as I then kind of built my relationships and built my knowledge and built my need for capital, I would easily have that opportunity to go to them and say, okay, I'm ready to, you know, get in front of someone, even yourself. And, you know, therefore it was a much easier process and not so intimidating and not so scary, uh, when I was at those different stages ready to pitch and ready to take on money. Because at the same time, that business plan has to turn into a number of other documents, pieces of collateral. We won't go into all that in order for you to actually be able to take on money. Basically meaning you pitch someone, they love your idea, they fill out a bunch of paperwork, you know, from a securities perspective, and they give you a check. Uh, so all of that upfront education, all that upfront networking, all that upfront, uh, relationship building was core in regards to raising capital. Because again, you might need it just to kind of start building collateral, your infrastructure, but then you needed to build your team, and then you needed to build equipment, then you needed to expand into another state, and then you might need it to you know, take on more, um, um, uh, more companies. You know, maybe you want to merge, uh, you know, as you build and grow your business. Uh, now a few of the things, uh, that kind of are the execution of that is you have all these documents, you're building relationships, and now you start to go out and pitch. And if you're an entrepreneur of any kind, and even if you're in corporate, you might not hear this word, as often as entrepreneurs do, but you then really master and practice and then master and practice and master more your pitch. Corporate professionals might call it still their elevator story or their elevator pitch, and entrepreneurs typically, you know, will say, I'm going out to pitch investors, or I'm going out to pitch my product or service or company, whatever the case might be. So you spend a lot of time really mastering that 30-second, 60-second. And of course, if you are going to a kind of a true entrepreneurial investor pitch, even like Shark— Shark Tank, you'll get 3 minutes, you'll get 10 minutes, you'll get 15 minutes. It really depends upon that organization or that individual. You might have a whole hour if you're having a meeting with them. Now the One thing you definitely want to ask about, you want to prove, and you want to demonstrate on a regular basis is your product and service obviously needs to be viable and, and, uh, capable of making money at some point down the line. But when angel investors and VCs invest, they're really investing in you as an individual, your passion, your business acumen, your professionalism, your ability to get things done. So if you're going to study anything in, you know, your professional corporate or entrepreneurial career, it would be ensuring that you actually deliver on what it is that you say you're going to. Now, when I say that, you'll learn very quickly that not all investments work out. However, that doesn't mean even if someone was to invest in you and your initial idea or your second, third idea didn't pan out, but they see that you kind of, you know, on the checklist, have that business acumen, have that passion, have that professionalism, have that everything, and they'll still entrust monies to you going forward. So just because the one didn't work doesn't mean that they're just gonna, you know, give up on you. So I always practiced that I'm always raising money, even when I'm not, when it comes to how I want to demonstrate and how I want to project myself out in the community. I want someone to say that when I finally am at a place— like, for instance, I don't have a business right now that I'd be pitching, or even a product. Well, I guess I have a product. I have my script. So that's a whole, you know, kind of different animal to a lot of people. And yet I treat it just like anything else. If I'm looking for money, there's an expectation from the people that you'd be pitching and taking money from, even if it's family, friends, and fools, as they call it, that you would— that you would want to ensure that they're getting kind of a return on investment, even if it's through your actions and your behavior and your business acumen. All right. So I wanted to make sure I got all of those things laid out. Now, I did kind of notate that not only to seek out groups and attend them and build relationships, but look at all the different options when it comes to raising capital. There is family, friends, and fools, as they call it. So you could, you know, go to those individuals and they, you know, might choose to invest in you. Obviously, we talked about angel investing, banks, venture capital, capital lists.

Capitalist.

And then there's also, you know, even Karen, if you go back and listen to my interview with Karen Rand, we even talked about— she talked about crowdfunding. And then there's even folks that use the Indiegogos and the Kickstarter type for their product, for even their creative project like I have. So look at all the options that you could be using in order to raise capital. And again, if you're in corporate, all of this is very relevant because it does provide you a huge advantage if you learn and are able to speak to and aren't intimidated or insecure about when the subject comes up about, you know, raising money and helping to maybe even pitch for that money for your corporate organization. Alright, I hope that answered your question, and again, please be sure to check out our other episodes of Shedding the Bitch Radio, both in audio on iTunes or video on YouTube, Shedding the Bitch. Alright, okay, we're gonna take a quick break. When we get back, we're gonna dive in a conversation about bullying. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors TSR Consulting,, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, Email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone to Ask Bernadette on this glorious Tuesday. I hope it is wherever you are around the world. So I have a question for you. Have you ever had a situation where, especially in email, let's forget texts and that kind of thing, but you're at work and you're having this email communication back and forth with someone, and all of a sudden you learn that that someone went and complained to their boss about you being a bully. And you kind of hear about it hearsay. Unfortunately, you hear about it. What do you do? How do you respond? Are you the type that's going to react and get really kind of pissed off or angry or or defensive, or are you going to be logical about it and just, you know, kind of be like surprised and want to know what was misinterpreted to, to where they felt that they had to complain? How would you handle that type of situation? So I received this question recently from one of you, and I then said, well, if you're open, could you share the communications that went back and forth? Now, actually, I have to say I've had two situations about this in the past couple of months, and both of them were from email. So I, you know, we have to kind of really be careful and pay attention to what we're saying and how we're saying it in emails. So both situations was about kind of inquiring, inquiring about seeking some help from the person being accused of being bullied or being bullying. So seeking information and seeking some support. And that individual then kind of responding in kind of a short, short way. So let me give, let me paint some scenarios for you. So the first one would be a new person comes onto the team and is looking to this other individual from a mentoring coaching perspective about some of the ways they do business and the processes that they follow, follow, and the reporting that they do and that kind of thing. This is all virtual, so the— that's why the email. So they're both in different, probably cities or states, and so that newbie is reaching out and asking questions to the person who's been around for quite a while and kind of knows the business inside and out. And in a lot of cases, everyone, gals and guys, taking for granted that the simplest thing that she perceives is difficult or confusing to the new person. That's kind of key in this scenario. So this individual is asking questions, and they're asking questions high-level and detailed level. Well, the receiver of this, the person to be mentor and coach this individual, responds in a way where they're offering help and assistance and then making statements such as, "Why are you getting down in the weeds?" or "Why are you questioning this?" or "Why are you looking at it, you know, in that way? That's not how we do it." And now they're not doing it as far as expecting an answer per se. Does that make sense? They're more so doing it as kind of making a statement. Now, you know, as you read through these type of emails, you know, she's also saying— the mentor coach is also saying, I can understand your frustration. I can understand being new and trying to get a handle on these complicated processes in a very brief period of time. So please continue to ask your questions. "Um, but I don't understand why you're getting in the weeds." Let's use that for an example. So here, being very sympathetic, being very, um, understanding of the individual's situation, and yet really not thinking about that, the way that, that statement, "Why are you getting down in the weeds?" for instance, is going to be taken offensively. Even though it's a question or I'm sorry, even though it's a statement versus a question, she's really not expecting a response. She's more so just saying, "Don't worry about it. Just don't get down into the weeds. Just, you know, kind of stay at the level you're asking about, and over time you're going to learn more and more of those details." So if you under— if you just heard those two different ways of saying the same thing, uh, one would come off as kind of being bullied or kind of being offensive, and the other is more aligned to what she's really trying to say, and that is, "I'm so sorry that, you know, you have to kind of handle this complicated process and you're new," and so forth and so on. And then she should have said, um, "So don't spend time down in the weeds. Kind of stay up at the high-level, general type of process level, and you won't get confused at this point of being on board for just a short period of time. There is just ways that she could have said exactly what she perceived she said, and yet someone else's perception is their reality, and that is that it was very kind of direct and abrasive and in some way bullying. Now, The, the conversation went on to say, well, maybe the individual is too sensitive. And I say to that, that could be true, but that doesn't excuse you paying attention to how you're communicating and not kind of assuming that they're going to take your words the way that you meant them. And, and that's just the difficulty with with email. Now, a second situation that I kind of realized touches on the same thing was something that happened a couple months ago, and it was with, um, between a guy and a gal. And the guy was seeking this woman's help expecting that what he was working on was really important and you need to pay attention to this and this is going to, you know, be a blockbuster of an opportunity and of work and you need to be involved. And the woman was saying, "I'd love to be involved, but it's not the type of work that I do. Sorry, I can't help." And the other person, the guy, came back and saying, "I don't understand that. Why not? This is something that you should want to be a part of. So why not?" Now, again, the woman comes back and says, "I'm sorry, but it's just not a situation or it's not a work project that I am responsible for or I have any interest in doing, and I'm, you know, not paid to do it, and so I can't really help, but thank you for reaching out." And the gentleman, the guy, just would not take no for an answer. What escalated that and made it worse is he went over her head to her boss, who he doesn't even know. And again, this is all in email. And he went over her head to her boss and basically said, Mr. So-and-so, who I don't even know you, but I just had the worst experience with one of your employees. And, you know, I expect that you're going to get this addressed. For me and that you, you know, and your company will choose to want to participate, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, I don't know about you, but if I, you know, heard that or was involved in that, I would certainly not think it was bullying. I would know that it was bullying. And though the intention of the guy was perfectly genuine and the intention was right and the intention was good, The words that he chose to use were extremely offensive and put in such a curt, abrasive way that, you know, both of them, the boss and the employee, wanted nothing to do, even if it was the best thing, you know, than sliced bread. So we really have to be careful. You have to be careful about the words you choose and the and the way that you form them because you don't want to assume everyone has the same ideas you do or the same taste or the same favor or the same interest as you do. And therefore, how both of them could handle, have handled it is to really understand and ask more questions and be more sympathetic to the disconnect between, you know, both parties, and to kind of seek for more understanding, and then get to a point where they realize there is this major disconnect and they move on. So you just really need to be careful. Now, back to what did I recommend to both of them. What did I recommend for her to do? Well, one was to not wait around and wait until this thing blew up to be a bigger situation than maybe it was. And so either get with that individual as quickly as possible to learn and understand, or get with the boss that she reported it to, to kind of get the understanding of where, where it's all at. And be sure that, um, you know, she's not avoiding it, she's not hiding from it, and she's being very understanding about what might have occurred even though there was differences in perceptions and lack of understanding of how it was being kind of done or said or executed on. So not avoid it, confront it, address it, be open-minded and listen and learn and understand. So then you both can come to a good place of understanding and, and, you know, almost like compassion as to where the disconnect came. All right? So that is all around bullying. Now, I just noticed the time, so we are going to keep going and make sure that we get the last two hopefully in. All right. So the next one, next rich question that someone posed to me, and it was as a result of several LinkedIn posts that I had made, and that's, uh, as that pertains to whether or not you are using— I'll turn it around and ask a question: are you using LinkedIn in the most effective and productive way? I was asked this because of the fact that someone saw that I was engaging and asking questions and reaching out in various groups, on various posts, in various articles to the audience of connections that I have on LinkedIn. And they wanted— they were inquiring as far as, you know, how, how effective, how successful have I been in taking on new clients, building my network, building my expertise and my influence as a result of LinkedIn. So I'll simply say LinkedIn is not just a Rolodex of your of contacts. It's not a competition as to how many, you know, connections can you make and can you beat out the person who has 10,000, 15,000, 20,000 connections. What it's about is building relationships. It is connecting. So I won't say less is best as far as— or quality is better than quantity, although that I agree with. But it's more so, are you actually doing something with those contacts, with those LinkedIn connections that you're building. Are you reaching out and are you making it a personal note when you reach out to someone, or are you even thanking someone and making it personal when someone connects with you? Are you then following up for a 15, 20-minute, you know, meet and greet on a phone call or even a coffee? Are you using it to really understand what that other individual is doing and does so you can figure out how you can support each other? Um, so it's very important, and LinkedIn can be very much a key tool in your toolbox, whether it's in your own business or in corporate, even in personal. I, I have found, uh, service providers for around my house, for my clients, off of LinkedIn. So you certainly want to ensure you're leveraging your connections. You also want to ensure that, again, whether you own your own business or you're a corporate professional, you're building your credibility. You're building your— and demonstrating your value. So if you're participating in groups, if you're responding to articles and posts, if you're writing articles and posts, that just is one other way for you to be building your recognition, your brand, and your expertise out in a very large network. So definitely look into all the different features and all the different capabilities on LinkedIn, but it certainly is a value if you make it valuable. All right, um, okay, we have 2 minutes left. What do you do when a friend, a boss, or a client betrays you and totally breaks your trust? Well, very quickly, I'm going to suggest, because actually I'm going through this right now myself, I am going to suggest you feel the pain. You feel the hurt and you feel the, the distrust, and you just process it and let, then let it go. Then what you, you just simply need to do is assess what happened to get to that point. And what would you have done different? What will you do differently as you go forward? Because obviously something has to change in regards to the approach that is being taken. In order for you not to get into that situation again. All right? And then you really need to kind of document those things. Make note of them. Put them in black and white so you can kind of really focus and be honest about what happened. Was it your doing? Was it theirs? Was it a combination? What was it? And forgive both of you. Forgive yourself for being, you know, if you feel like a fool. Forgive them if you're really kind of pissed off and upset. Forgive them because you don't want to walk on to other clients, other friends, other bosses, other companies with a, you know, a degree of hurt and pain and anger because of that broken trust. All right, that was our Ask Bernadette for this week and for this month of August that we're in now. And Please post your questions, stories, and challenges. I'll answer them all month long and then bring them right here onto Shedding the Bitch Radio next month. And I'll look forward to having you next week when I talk to Bonnie Daneker all about writing, all about using your writing, you know, in your career to really explode your life. All right, I'll look forward to seeing you then, everybody. Take care.

Bye.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.