We Talked Believing Now Let's Talk Visualizing. The Why and the How!!

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com/Shedding Shedding the Bitch, or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone. How are you on this beautiful, beautiful day? It is nice and sunny here in Atlanta. I always give you a weather update when we first start and kick off just because it's been so hot. And now we have a beautiful, beautiful, finally a beautiful fall day, about in the high 70s, and we finally have broken through. But we did break a record for the number of days over 90. We had, I believe it was '91 or '92, 90-plus days this year in 2019. Last record was in 2011, and prior to that, like 1984 or something. But I hope you are having a beautiful, wonderful day wherever you might be all around the world. We have a great conversation today. It's kind of a a prequel to a conversation we had a few weeks ago. We had a conversation about the fact that it's not about visualizing, it's about believing. And so we, we really focused on and centered the discussion on your belief system and the fact that you can set as many goals as you want to. You can come up with an action plan. You can visualize all of that.. But unless you absolutely believe in what it is that you're doing, why you're doing it, and the value that it's going to bring your life and all that kind of good stuff, then it won't be realized. It won't happen. So you can certainly go back and listen to that program that we had a couple of weekends— weeks ago. Last week was Ask Bernadette. So I answered your stories, questions, and challenges regarding your life, business, and career. So you can go back and download and listen to that episode. And then the week before that was this conversation about you must have belief in what it is that you're doing. Well, today I kind of want to back up, and I've gotten a number of questions in regards to, okay, what about that visualization part of the equation, so to speak. I also personally had a situation where over the weekend I was kind of going through my own evaluation, my own assessment of 2019 thus far, because we are 3 quarters in, so there's only 1 more quarter, and I just decided that I would look at, as I do each month, but at the end end of each quarter I also do it. And I wanted to look at kind of where I was against all my goals. And I looked around my home office, which I recently painted. This is going back about 3 or 4 weeks ago. I kind of removed everything, stripped the walls bare, and had it fully painted. What I woke up to was the fact that I had not put back any of my picture frames and/or I had not put back my vision board. And I had, along with the vision board, I had a number of affirmations and quotes and images kind of surrounding that as far as, you know, supporting my, my vision and what it was that I wanted to achieve this year. So I went looking for it. I was like, I do with it? Comes to find out, I lifted the seat cushion of my couch. I didn't put it there, but obviously my painter, uh, must have. I probably laid it on my coffee table along with 9,000 other things, and they decided to keep, keep it safe and put it under my couch cushion. So it got me thinking. It got me thinking about this prequel to believing, and that is having a vision and articulating that in whatever fashion works best for you. So that's why we're having this conversation for today. But certainly, you know, leverage the episodes we've had in the past, and especially the recent past, and that is our Ask Bernadette episode last week and the Beliefs episode that we did 2 weeks ago, and that will kind of allow you to also either work forward, should you choose to, listening to this program and then going back to that one, or treat it as a prequel. Go back and listen to that episode and then come and listen and kind of take in and take what you want out of today's discussion in regards to visualizing. So that will be our conversation for today. There isn't any rich news, which You know, I'm, you know, doing the sign of the cross right now and, and being grateful the fact that, um, there isn't, uh, any news we need to be praying for. Although we can always send out prayers and thanksgiving and gratitude and thankfulness, um, you know, every minute of every day. But there isn't anything that, you know, necessarily needs a major call out. And if there is and I'm overlooking something, feel free to call into us at 1-818-572-2910. Deborah is out there. Deborah Parker of Parker House Virtual Services is out there. So she's manning the board, so to speak. And I'm just grateful that there isn't any drama going on, less politics, but we won't go there. Uh, and I'm okay with the fact that there's no real kind of news or any major updates, uh, good or bad, in regards to the Shedding the Bitch community. So I'm just grateful that you're here, you're listening, you're contributing, collaborating, and I look forward, um, for you to continue doing that, whether that be on Facebook, on Twitter, on our SheddingtheBitch.com website.. You can do it even right here on blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch. If you happen to be listening to this live, you can go there, scroll down, and chat with us. So we have a lot going on, but this conversation regarding, um, vision and the power of it, uh, and yet we're gonna— I also want to call out the negative of it as well. Can be a powerful tool you can start using right now as we're having this conversation. So I want, based on that, I want to ground this conversation for you with a rich question. So for those of you listening for the first time, our rich questions are tied to the topic of our conversation on a particular episode, and it allows you to really kind of consider what this topic might be addressing as it pertains to your own life, as it pertains to your own work, as it pertains to your own goals. So our rich question for today is, what is it— or let me back up and say, what is the vision, the picture, the imagery that you have toward your 2019 goals and objectives. So I'm— it's okay if you haven't put it down on paper or create a vision board or whatever, but as you go through your day and you are working on life, and hopefully that part of that life is your goals and your dreams that you have for yourself, maybe your family, maybe those around you. What is it that you're envisioning? What is it that you're picturing? What is it that you're creating in your mind and in your heart in order to then be excited and energized toward working hard to achieve it? That is your question for today. And again, if you haven't 'Cause maybe you're not a visual person. Perfect. Then you're in the right place and we're going to talk about all of it so you can start using the power of visualization to help you achieve your goals. So based on that, I'm going to leave you with that. You can rich tag, which means you can Facebook and tweet with us using our rich tags of vision board. Or hashtag, as always you can use hashtag #ShedTheBitch. Okay, vision board or hashtag #ShedTheBitch. When we get back, we're going to dive into this conversation regarding the power of visualization and how you can use it to achieve your goals. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, confront and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small small to corporate size clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at media-relations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back, everyone. We are talking the power of visualization today on the program. Um, so what we want to talk about is exactly that power. Now, there's a positive side to it and a negative side to it based on how you go about it. Why would you want to use visualization? We'll talk benefits, and then we'll get down to the how-to, because I always, um, will talk, uh, to my clients and to audiences about the fact that I personally don't feel it's all about the woo-hoo, woo-woo, the woo-hoo that people look for in empowerment and inspiration. It's about the how-to. Inspiration and empowerment is great, but I want to give you the how-to so you can start embodying it into your everyday routine and making your dreams come true. So let's talk about the power of visualization. As I mentioned, it has— there could be a negative part of it and there could be a positive part of it. So the negative side, let's get that out of the way. The negative side is the majority of individuals that use visualization to picture what it is they don't want in their life.

Now, I—

if I asked you to raise your hand if you're one of those people that really can visualize easily what you don't want as opposed to what you do want. I'd have to be raising my hand because this is how I lived for decades. I was, you know, you might call it a devil's advocate. I was always looking for the— to really kind of envision the worst-case scenarios, so I— because I felt that I could protect myself if I pictured all hell breaking loose. And, you know, and life-ending, then I could combat my heart, I could combat my spirit, I could combat it with the actions that I then choose to take, which happened to be just kind of almost creating barriers and shielding myself and avoiding and ignoring. So visualization is powerful, but it could definitely go against what it is that you're actually trying to do. So I want you to really think about that as far as even where you sit when it comes to visualization. Are you looking at things visually to prepare yourself for the worst-case scenario, or are you using it to really empower yourself? And, you know, let's— if it is in any way, shape, or form the negative, like I said, I did for decades, then the objective for today's conversation is to then kind of turn it, put it on its head, and use it for purely creating what it is you want to achieve out of life. All right, now the power of it too— athletes talk about it, creatives obviously use visualization in conveying stories and their storytelling. Business leaders use it. You know, you'll hear stories of those, you know, major business leaders throughout time who pictured themselves as a young boy or a young girl, you know, growing up and becoming the President of the United States or becoming the president of, you know, Coca-Cola or Google or whatever the case might be. So it's, you know, used by, you know, very, very successful people, yet when they started utilizing it, they may or may not have been where they wanted to be in their kind of mastery of visualizing to achieving. But the most recent example that I think is very— topical right now. Over the last 4 or 5 days, if you've turned on your TV or your radio, you can't ignore your phone to, you know, any search engine. You can't avoid the stories of Tyler Perry's climb to success that he— that has been celebrated over the last week. And why that is, especially since I'm in Atlanta, Um, Tyler Perry, if you did not know about it, he, um, just kind of had his, uh, premiere of his, uh, new studio, Tyler Perry Studios, here in Atlanta. 330-plus acres that he took over from Fort McPherson, which was a military base here in Atlanta. And, um, he— and it's a— well, I'll get to that in a second, but he has built this massive, massive studio city. I'll call it a studio city with, you know, I don't know, I think like 12, 15 studios and individual sound stages of which then he dedicated one of each of them to major African American leaders in all fields, you know, whether that was Oprah or whomever it was that he dedicated it to. And his story— there's a lot of backstory to him— but his whole foundation was as he was a child being physically abused, watching his mother be physically abused, living in poverty, living in his car, he would always visualize and could see himself in a position of power, of which he is today, being able to see and visualize, um, creating this something. He didn't know it was a studio at the time, but he knew it was going to be something significant. Now, of course, again, he had to turn that vision into belief. And we're not going to get into the whole belief side of it. You can go back and listen to that episode that we had a couple weeks ago. But he then internalized that— those visions that he had and believed he would be the person that he is today. And it's just a very, very powerful, powerful story of Tyler Perry. So something to be thinking about. But what— so that is the power of visualization, is being able to turn those nuggets of your dream into reality. Now, the benefit of visualization— if you're not quite sold on whether or not you can, you know, create pictures of what it is that you want to— you want to achieve— maybe the benefit of learning how to, or mastering how to visualize, will help. So it's been proven time, time, time, time, time, time again, even, you know, psychologists, psychotherapists, the medical industry, the— obviously the athletic industry, creative. They have proven the fact that visualizing not only what it is you want, but how it is you need to get there. So they'll break it down into, you know, two types of visualization.

Excuse me.

There's visualizing the outcome, which is certainly what we're going to be talking about today and what you want to be doing is visualizing you achieving what it is and where it is that you want to go. But it's also about visualizing the process, the steps that you'll be taking in order to get there. So what do I mean by that? Well, let's make something very simple. You're dreaming at whatever age— doesn't matter, I'm 57, not married. So you might dream of getting married and having that wedding. So the outcome is the wedding. Maybe the outcome is the picket fence, the lovely house, and the children. Um, so that's the outcome. The process would be all visualizing meeting him or her, you know, the getting, um, you know, uh, leading up to getting engaged, leading up to getting actually married, leading up to then having that, that picket fence, having that house, having that dog, uh, the process of then, you know, getting pregnant, having the child. So there's the outcome and then there's the process of using visualization. And it improves, uh, visualization helps you improve your performance or your dedication to that goal, to that dream, because you're now able to see and feel what it is that you're working hard to achieve. The benefit of visualization is it gives you that energy that's needed for you to feel determined, feel committed, feel confident, feel positive, feel and believe that you can achieve it. So visualizing will give you so much energy towards you doing the work that's needed. Because there's no achievement, there's no success, there's no— well, there is outcomes without work, but it won't be the outcomes that you want unless you're going to be willing to put in the work. Visualization also helps you— and this goes back to that positive-negative. It helps you break through any types of slump that you might get in. Maybe you get stuck along the way. Maybe you get, you know, kind of someone wants to give you what they think is a reality check about your dream, about your goal, and so— and you internalize that and allow it to negatively impact you. Well, you visualizing what your goals were and why you had those goals and the process that you've been working on to achieve those goals, and then being able to visualize that outcome can help you push through those downtimes. I'm not going to tell you that it will help you prevent them. It will, but we all will have those ebbs and flows of highs and lows, and yet you visualizing working your way through them and out of them and away from them is a tremendous tool to have in your back pocket to kind of get you through it faster than you may have had in the past had you not really been using visualization as a very highly productive and effective tool for yourself. And then, of course, I mentioned, you know, visualizing what it is that you're working so hard at and working toward gives you confidence. And it gives you— it works on your self-esteem as you're working toward— and we'll talk about— as you're working toward taking those steps. They're not giant leaps, they're just little steps toward, and you're achieving those little steps, that just builds up your self-esteem and your confidence toward what it is that you're working on, no matter how easy or hard it is. So there's just absolutely huge benefits in regards to learning how to visualize, but learning how to visualize for the positive outcome, not of— not for visualizing what you don't want. Though you have to understand what it is you don't want as much as you need to understand what you want, but it's a matter of where do you spend that time almost daydreaming. You know, are you daydreaming about that wedding, or are you daydreaming about all the crap that's going to, you know, and all the highs and lows you're going to have along the way? We want you— I want you daydreaming about that wedding. I don't— and kind of just being okay with the fact that you're going to have days of high productivity and days of misery. As you're working your way toward your outcome, but you visualizing that outcome will give you the energy and the confidence to push through those down times. And that's what it's all about. So what or how do you go about doing this? Well, I'm going to talk with you first about like kind of the steps that you could be taking. And then I'll talk to you about the various means or mediums that you could use. In order to capture your vision because they do vary greatly. And for those of you— I want to kind of digress a moment and just say, for those of you who don't find yourself to be the vision or the creative vision, visual type of people, open yourself up to the possibility that you can learn to create images around what it is that you want. So there are some people out there that are very analytical. They're very spreadsheet-oriented. They're very black and white, facts and figures. They don't picture things as easily as those such as a Talukari who is very creative and lives his life around storytelling. There, you know, there's individuals who are, you know, they find it more effective for them to lay it out in an outline and create a spreadsheet of the tasks and the actions they're going to take, and then just simply black and white notate what their desired outcome is and what the result is. That's all fine and good as well, though we will kind of just pepper in some ideas for you. To kind of create or use images, pictures to articulate, to communicate what it is that you are actually dreaming about and thinking about. All right. So let's dive into this. And for those of you who listen to this program regularly, Uh, you will pick up a pattern that this is all about really learning who you are and learning, um, about yourself— the good, the bad, and the ugly. And so right now, I just want you to be grounded in the, in the commitment that regardless of the good, bad, and the ugly, you really want to achieve your goals. You're very determined and committed to what goals it is that you want in the life that you want to have for yourself. So be okay with that. There's a lot of self-discovery and purging that one needs to do in order to do that. You, you can certainly, you know, live life and go at your goals and your dreams without, you know, without really spending a time, time on who it is you are, want to be. However, there'll be limitations to that. Because you'll, you'll find yourself leaning towards things that really aren't serving you or really aren't congruent to who you truly are. And what we want to do is we want to kind of lead you toward, you know, really understanding who you are inside and out, so what it is that you are working so hard on and you're working to achieve, it is aligned to who you truly are. Now if that sounds like a lot of hogwash or a lot of woo-woo, let me kind of articulate it differently. For instance, myself, I lived for 20, 25 years pursuing goals, certainly pursuing goals, achieving those goals, achieving success, not only in views of other people, but in my view of what I deemed success. Thought it was best to be and to look like and to feel like at the time. Yet at the same time, when I really looked at whether or not I was being true to who I was and whether or not I was truly happy and those were the things that I truly wanted, I spent a good 25, 30 years totally misaligned to, to you know, to everything. It wasn't what I wanted. It wasn't how I wanted to go about achieving it. It wasn't making me happy, truly happy, and it wasn't what my true passions and desires were. So that's why I say that you can certainly achieve, and you can certainly, in your view and another, succeed and acquire and obtain a lot of things out of this lifetime. Never doing the hard work on who you are and who you truly are and who you want to be. And yet you're limiting yourself greatly, uh, being and acquiring true happiness and true joy and true meaning and true success and true legacy out of your life by not wanting to look in the mirror and see reality and see your true self. And I just implore you to kind of be okay with not liking the answer, not liking what you're truly seeing, not feeling— not feeling, you know, totally proud of what it is that you, you know, you, you, who you were, what you did in the past. Forget all of that, it's in the past. Decide right now that you don't want to ignore your true self and your true dreams and your true goals going forward, and do the work needed and be okay with whatever emotions come up through the process, because they will. I'll just tell you that right now, they will. And say, nope, I'm, I'm good with all that because I truly want to live this one life that I have as my true self, and whatever that means. And you'll find that, what that means, as you go through kind of the self-discovery process. But I often call it shed the bitch, but also as you Honor your riches, and we'll get into all of that. All right, so actually, before we get into that and get into the steps that you can be taking, we're going to take a quick break. I'm going to come back and we'll go through these steps, and we'll talk about how the mediums you can use in order to articulate your vision. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email deborahparker@deborahparker.vbs.com. Va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everybody. We are visualizing today. We are taking your dreams and your goals and your story of who you are and we are painting pictures Or you can paint. You can, you know, can pull things out of a magazine. We'll talk about that in a minute. But we are wanting to ensure that you're leveraging visualization. Call it storytelling if you want, daydreaming if you want, but we are looking at the powerful tool of being able to paint a picture, movie, a clip of what it is that you want out of life. Also the process, the steps that you're taking along the way, in a way that will embed within your soul, will embed within your belief system, the idea that you can indeed achieve your goals by imagining yourself there, imagining yourself at the outcome even before you get there. As I mentioned at the top of the hour, you know, athletes use it. They picture themselves, you know, if they're a basketball player and maybe they're just learning, let alone they're already successful, they picture themselves making that— they picture themselves making that shot. Golfers talk about it all the time that they stare out into the the course and they look at the tee ahead of them because they're picturing where that ball is going to go and where they want it to go, and then they kind of not even look up and they just naturally hit and take a swing and they pray that it gets where they want it to be. Creative. They picture the story that they want to tell, the drama they want to create, and long before it goes on paper. And then as they put it on paper, they are able to— they are able to realize what it is that they had envisioned from the get-go. So how can you start using visualization? And this isn't just because you want to create a big or achieve a big dream, a big goal. It could be very simple. You know, it could be the fact that you want to learn something new. And, you know, for instance, my improv. Before I decided to actually take the improv class, I was kind of trying to visualize myself where I feel most, not comfortable, but most advantageous. What I, you know, where I would get the most out of a creative class.— didn't know which one it was going to be, but I determined it was improv. Well, then it was like, okay, I'm a little scared, a little nervous, I'm a little apprehensive, although I love the idea, you know, of being on stage and doing improv. There was still doubt and fear there, so I just started envisioning myself on the stage doing improv and running through, you know, little skits in my head as I kind of prepared to take the class. And then even as I was taking the class, because not every situation I was put in worked. And my teacher wasn't praising me on a regular basis. So in order to push through those fears, those insecurities, those doubts about my ability to do this, I was able to visualize myself actually getting laughs and succeeding, you know, in different situations and different shows. Trust me when I say that every time that showcase happened, those next 3 showcases, those lights went on and I was on. Visualization is so powerful. How do you go about doing it? Here are some steps. If you are able to take notes, great. If you're not, you can always come back to the program and listen to it when you have something that to notate these steps. I told you there's a lot of self-discovery here, so I want to make sure that you're in a state of mind for that because the very first thing you need to do is to really understand who you are, what you want, and why you want it. So let's kind of put the who am I aside for a second, and we might even put it aside for this whole visualization because that's— That's an exercise in itself that you obviously need to know who you are in order to then determine what you want. But what I want to talk about in regards to visualization of your goals and your dreams and then the outcome that you're looking for is really getting a really clear, deep understanding of what it is that you want. So that would be your first step is to really think about what it is that you want. Now, that sounds easy. Okay, I know what I want. I want more money. I want a better job. I want to meet a man. I want to, you know, climb, you know, Kilimanjaro. You know, it may be easy, but a lot of us don't know what we want because we're afraid to admit it, even to ourselves. We're afraid to acknowledge it. So we just never do. Well, you're never going to get it if you can't even, you know, tell yourself what it is that you want. So I just want you very simply, very generically, to kind of make note of what it is that you want and look in all aspects of your life. You know, you can look at your work, you can look at your family, look at your relationships, you can look at money, you can look at hobbies. Passions, adventures, your spirituality, whatever the case might be. And just generically think about what it is that you want. Now, I often talk about truth rises to the surface, sits at the surface. And what I mean by that is, when I— if I were to ask you right now, what is it that you want in your life? Just take the first things that come up in the next 5 seconds. And make a note of them. Truth rises to the surface, it's— or sits at the surface. So the first things that you think about are things that are in your soul, are in your spirit, are in your heart. Anything else beyond that, when you start having to start thinking about it and forcing yourself to think about it, those— it's not that they're not true, it's not that they're not things that you want, they're just not the passion, they're not the things that are sitting on the surface. So what do you want? Then I want you to be thinking about it and writing. And I should have said that from the beginning. If you listen to my program, you know I believe in journaling, getting it out of your head and onto a piece of paper. That might be onto your, your notes within your phone or your laptop. I don't care, just get it out of your head and onto something that in black and white that you can look at and you can think about and you can, you know, kind of soak it all in. Not in your head where it's just swirling around with all the 9,000 other things that you've got going on in any given moment, let alone in a day. So what do you want? Then I need you to answer why. Why do you want whatever it is you just said you wanted? Now I'm not saying why because, oh well, I want to be able to 'You know, pay my bills.' I mean, that's great, that's awesome, but I will talk about in a second— I want you to get a lot more specific and detailed about it. But I do want you to think about why. It can't just be flippant. It needs to have meaning and purpose, and it needs to actually create change or shift in your world, in your universe, as a result of working your tail off in order to achieve it. So why is it? I want you to be thinking about and answering how will it make you feel once you have achieved that, that goal? How will it make you feel even along the way? Remember we talked— there's two types of why you would visualize. You'd visualize the outcome, but you'd also visualize the process of achieving it. So how will it make you feel along the way as you're working on whatever goal that is, but also, and more importantly, once you've achieved it? Now why this is important is this. People will, you know, will have this conversation whether that's, you know, amongst friends or if I am a facilitator or the coach, but even as a student, I'll call it a student, or a client.— and I'm in a place where we're talking about our goals and our dreams and our fears. And people will naturally think that people have a fear of failure. And I've talked about this before. Mine is of success. If I were to, you know, acknowledge to you what my greatest fear is at times, I would have to tell you it's never about failing. I don't mind failing. I can do it every day of the week and I'm going to wake up and be as peppy as the next person. I have a fear of success. And why is that? Because when I get down to it and I really, really answer these questions about what it is I want, why I want them, how it will make me feel, and then what the impact on my, my world and universe is going to be, that's where I start getting nauseous. Is because, you know, success is change. And change— I love change, don't get me wrong— but it comes with a degree of, okay, so how will this impact where I live, how I live, the friends that I have, the lovers that I have, the money that I have, the decisions I make about the money that I have, you know, so forth and so on. And so, you know, my fear isn't that I'm not going to achieve it. My fear is what's going to— what's my world going to look like once I do. So you need to be kind of honest and raw about what your response, your reaction is going to be, the impact that achieving your goal is going to have on your life. Now, that all this is about is being self-aware of what it is you're really feeling and what it is you really believe in, because once you can you can then start turning on that visualization tool to help you then act on your goals and achieving them. So one simple question that you could ask yourself around all of this— first step, this is the first step— is if I had all the money in the world, what would I want? So a lot of people, like I mentioned, struggle with admitting, acknowledging what it is that they want because they're afraid that if they do, they'll be laughed at, they'll be ridiculed, they'll be doubted. And trust me, every one of us could probably say that there was a time that we mentioned that we wanted to do something and someone kind of shot it down, they laughed at it.— for me it was screenwriting. When I was going to turn my book into a screenplay, forget about the fact what they said when I said I was going to write a book. Then when I went on to say, "Oh, well, this book is so good I'm going to turn it into a screenplay," the ridicule and the doubt and the crap that was thrown at me could have shot anybody down. But actually for me it fueled me, so that's a beautiful thing. So, but ask yourself, if I had all the money in the world, what would I want? So put aside that you can't, put aside I don't have enough money to do this, put aside I don't have, you know, a team, a staff, put aside all of that. If you had all the resources you needed, what is it that you really want? That will help you get down to what it is you truly want, and then answer why you want it. All right, but I told you to do that generically. I told you to do that, you know, kind of from the surface of your heart as to, uh, uh, identifying what it is that you want and why you want it. Now I need you to get down to the nitty-gritty details of it. Um, you know, if you want more money, well, how much? Um, where is it coming from? When are you going to have it? What are you going to do with it? I mean, get down to the nitty-gritty of your goal. If you want— if you want to get married, what does he or she look like? What does he or she do? What are their belief systems? Where are you going to meet them? How are you going to go about meeting them, being introduced to them? Get down to, you know, what do they smell like? What do they talk like? What do they— what's sense of humor, what's their political belief systems, what's their religion, what's their, you know, demographic, what's their background. Get down to the nitty-gritty of what your goal is. If you want to start a business, okay, what kind of business? Uh, where is it going to be? Is it online? Is it in person? Is it a product? Is it a service? Uh, is it in a particular industry? Is it serving, you know, a community, or is it serving the country or the world? Get very, very absolute Specific about what it is that you want. Lay it all out as much as possible so you can actually, you know, taste it, you can feel it, you can emote from it, you can make decisions around it or about it, but articulate it in such a way and detail it in such a way that it almost becomes real. It almost materializes itself. When you, when you look at that outcome and you paint that picture and you have the kind of almost the reality of it, then kind of ask yourself, what would a day in my new life, in my new world and universe look like? What would it be? You know, Where am I waking up in the morning? What is the coffee maker I'm now using as a result of it? Where am I going when I leave that— what is the house look like where I'm occupying? Where do I go when I step out the door? Who am I engaging with? Who am I working with? Where am I spending my money? I mean, really try to put yourself in a day of a life. Of your new world and universe and continue to write down and articulate what your world looks like, because that'll lead you to being able to really vision— visualize your goals and your dreams, let alone when we talk about, you know, the mediums are going to use to, to document and articulate it. Then what I want you to do is I want you to soak in your belief around achieving it. We're not going to spend a lot of time here because you can go back to the episode from a couple of weeks ago around believing. Because now that you've pictured it, you've tasted it, you feel it, you know the sounds of it, you know the senses of it, you can now kind of embody it and believe that you can work toward and achieve it. And so where you can go back to the episode from a couple of weeks ago, when it comes— it was all about— it's not about visualizing, it's about believing. You can go to that episode and listen to that, you know, to get more information in regards to that. Then what I want you to do is now that you have this, you have this vision, you have your goals and your dreams in a specific state of which you can taste it and feel it and, and hear it and see it, and you're now— you're believing in it. I want you to take time each day to really live in it, like just kind of sit, and you can meditate in it, you can affirm in it, you can pray into it. But I want you to take time to visualize it, that day in the life, each day. Take 3 minutes, take 30 minutes, but kind of immerse yourself. Feel the emotions of working on and achieving that dream that you have for yourself. And ask yourself, how am I feeling about it? Because I should say that it might change over time. You know, you might, you know, kind of adjust things as you're learning more and more about yourself and, you know, you're kind of living in this day of life, you might realize that, well, you know what, I'm not really— you know, I don't need to necessarily be in Atlanta to experience this life. I could be over here in Tahoe or in Tuscany, whatever the case might be. So ask yourself on a regular basis, how are you feeling about it? Are you still excited? Are you still aligned to what it is that you laid out for yourself and be okay with the fact that it will change. You can even go as far as affirming each of your goals. Come up with an affirmation regarding the various aspects of your one goal or multiple goals. And when I say affirm, just come up with a statement that you can say to yourself over and over and over again. I'll digress for just a second because I have to find it and post it, but there was this video that was being shared this morning on the morning news shows, and it was of a 2-year-old at the time. I believe he was 2 at the time, and on his walk to school, his mother taught him an affirmation that he says to himself every day on his walk to school. And it's— and don't quote me, but it's 3, 3 little statements. It's, um, I am smart. I want to say it's, I am smart, I I am bright. I am worthy or valued or something to that effect. This little 2-year-old boy is walking— gosh, if I say 2 and he's walking to school, I'll have to go back and see where he— I want to say it was school. I want to say it was like maybe daycare. And he just says to himself, and each time he's saying it, he's getting more and more excited. He's like, I am bright. I am smart. I am awesome. I am bright. I am smart. I am awesome. It was fabulous. And she's— and then it went on to say that he's now 3 and he continues to, to do that affirmation. So come up with something for yourself. All right, then what I want you to do, what you want to do for yourself, is having this visualization is great, articulating it in a medium that we'll talk about in a second, and Take one step each day toward that goal that you have, okay? And this is going into goal setting and into taking action and whatnot, so we won't spend a lot of time. But if, you know, visualizing is wonderful and powerful, now you need to do something about it. You need to start taking small steps each day toward that vision you have for yourself, that dream you have for yourself. And along the way, as you're gaining knowledge, because maybe you, you know, have a goal of something that you're inexperienced at today, and yet your goal is to be a master at it in the future. Well, then gain knowledge along the way and educate yourself along the way, and maybe that's one of those steps that you take each day. I have a client mentor who's getting various certifications. And so we lay out, you know, his timeline and his goals as to when he wants to be achieving those because the bigger outcome is a different type of job, a different type of role at a different company that he wants to go toward as opposed to where he is right now. So gain knowledge along the way and be prepared because it's going to happen. Be prepared that you are going to have to change. You are going to get stuck, you are going to have struggles, you are going to have challenges, you are going to have days where you just don't want to get off your couch and you just feel as if this is never going to happen. Why I thought this conversation and my vision boards this past weekend were really important to me is because when I was thinking about and looking at and assessing not only this year— I had mentioned that I was assessing the past 3 quarters of 2019. And what I have achieved and what I haven't achieved. But I also looked at— I did that. I've been working on some of these things since 2009, and I felt myself almost like hyperventilating, getting very anxious about the fact that I've been working on this stuff for a long time. When is it going to happen? When am I going to get that breakthrough?

When—

and I started like having this conversation with myself but also with God, and getting kind of like, okay, I am not, you know, patient. I, you know, I am over this. When is it going to happen? We all have those days. We all have those moments. But having this tool of visualization, of knowing what it is that you want and why you want it, and then the steps you're going to take, the process and the outcome, all give you the— give you the the power to push through those struggling times, to know that what it is that you're doing is what you should be doing, and you just need to keep going at it. And again, we had mentioned early on that you would— you want to assess and kind of feel whether or not, you know, your dream and your goal is still aligned with what it is you want today, because it will change over time. So you do need to do those assessments, and you do need to be honest because had I kind of all of a sudden woke up one day, as I had multiple times, thinking, okay, maybe, you know, this screenwriting thing is not where I'm supposed to be, supposed to be at. Maybe I need to stop doing it. And then I got, you know, kind of claustrophobic over the idea that, oh my God, I've been working on this thing for 5 years, I'm just going to throw it away. But once I settled in and allowed myself to feel that and, and then went back to my visual visions, my affirmations, my purpose, I realized that yes, this is just a temporary hiccup and I'm just as passionate and energized and optimistic about it today. So that's what I want you to do is prepare yourself for those challenges, those struggles, those negative days by really going back and thinking about why these dreams and goals were important to you. Okay. All right. Now I want to— in our last couple of minutes talk about how you go, you know, okay, so how do you start articulating this? Getting— we want it out of your head onto a piece of paper, which you've already done through answering all those, those questions and getting all those details down. And even articulating on paper what are those fears, those struggles, those challenges that you know you're going to come up against. It might be people around you that you know are going to spew hate at you. It might be the fact that— you know, your time at work is going to all of a sudden impede, or your kids, or whatever the case might be. So you have all this detail written down. Now I want you to take those details, and now it's when you start not only visualizing it, but you start taking that visualization and putting it on paper, putting it into images, not even necessarily on paper. Putting it into images. And you— there's many ways that you could do this. I'm kind of an old-school basic. I like touching and feeling and kind of experiencing the process of creating a vision board, for instance. And so I just take a piece of— a big piece of, you know, poster board, and I start fletching and stealing. Don't quote me on that. Magazines from like the doctor's office and I start putting it down on paper. And it's a fun process to just kind of, you know, find these images, find these quotes, find these pictures that reflect what it is that I just detailed out and gluing them down onto a poster board. But you can also use apps. So there's DreamCloud is an app that you could be using to create your vision board. People use Pinterest. To create their vision boards. There's Mind Movies where you actually create clips, like movie clips of your vision that you're picturing. I've used even PowerPoint, you know, pulled up a PowerPoint, stuck a bunch of images on there, and then been able to print it so I can post it up on my wall in my office. There's Dreamboard, which is a very popular site for, you know, creating your vision board online. There's many ways you can take your details, your vision, and creating it into something tangible that you can then take with you, whether that be on your phone, on your laptop, or on a poster board hanging up in your office. But whatever it is that you do, just think about using visualization to really help you not only achieve your goals, push through challenges, and, and really kind of create what it is that you want. All right, so hopefully I expect that if you have your vision boards to share with me, I'd love to see them— Facebook, Twitter— and then I'll look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time for another episode of Shedding the Bitch. I'll talk to you soon, everybody. Have a great week.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.