What are your Challenges of Goal Setting

Alright, so let's get into this. We talked about already some statistics that can be sobering around why people don't— or the statistics around goal setting for people. But let's dig into it, you know, just a little further. Let me do some reminders. Setting goals is the first step in turning invisible to visible. People with written goals are 50% more likely to achieve them and achieve anything else that they want. 92% of the people who set resolutions, they've been gone for about a month, since about January 15th. Sharing your goals with a close confidant is proven to help you stay motivated. 14% of the people have a goal in mind, but it's in the mind, it's not out. And goals held in the mind— now this is interesting when I came across this, although I wasn't surprised. Goals in the mind are more likely to be jumbled amongst the 1,500 other thoughts per minute that you have. Per minute that you have. I don't know, I'm working on being now, being present. I'm working on getting rid of all that chatter because all that chatter and those distractions just send you into squirrel, squirrel, squirrel. Squirrel squirrel— And at the end of the day you're like, "Where did the day go? What did I get done?" Alright now so what are the challenges? Why are you or anyone else not setting goals? There's a whole list of them and what I want you to be doing is considering them truthfully and honestly within yourself. Because until you're honest with yourself, no one can help you or no one can support you or guide you, alright. So consider each of these and, you know, every one of these. Kind of make note if you need to as to which ones pertain to you. And even— self-awareness is the first step to riches— even comment what your challenges are in the comment section. That's okay. This is a safe environment. No one's going to be judging, no one, and no one's going to be ridiculing because guess what? They're probably dealing with the same challenges. All right, so many make people, and this is a great time, uh, and a great series for just this reason. They're unsure of how. Now it sounds easy, just set a goal. What is it that you want? But goals without timelines without actions attached to them, they're just dreams. Now, I love to dream. I'm a daydreamer from the moment I was born. I love to just sit back and envision and visualize and dream about what it is that I want. However, I know for a fact that that's all fun and good, but unless I actually put specifics around it— and we'll talk about this all on Wednesday— But until I put specifics around it, until I turn those goals or those dreams into goals, then there's no roadmap. There's nothing for me to go after. So if you are unsure of how to go about doing it, well, guess what? You're in the right place. Other challenges are they don't believe it works, and I have heard this, and I've only spent about 5 minutes allowing them to tell me that. Tough love, remember. They don't believe goals work. And so, for any of you who may not believe goals work, well, guess what? It's— this is an easy solution. Define a goal. Define everything that you need around that goal, which we'll go over Wednesday. Act on it and prove for yourself that goal setting doesn't work. But I have— I'm here to tell you You know, every business leader in the world, every entertainment, anybody you might admire, you might revere, you know, none of them would say that they never goal-setted in their life. They wouldn't say it. They wouldn't say that they don't believe in setting goals got them where they are. So think about that. Consider that. A lot of people set the wrong goals. Now, I've been there, been there, done that, and maybe you have too, and that's okay. I like to fail fast. If I've set a goal and set out to do it and I see it's not working, I like to recognize it as quickly as possible and make adjustments, maybe even throw it away and start totally new on something else. But the fact that you set the wrong goals is not a really good reason for you not to have goals and not to have them written down and not to fail fast and figure out what are the goals that are going to work for you. Make sense? All right, so a lot of us, we are just— we've had disappointments. We've had high expectations of where our goals are going to take us, of what they are going to achieve for us, do for us, make for us. Whatever the case might be, and we've been disappointed. So we say to ourselves, you know, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna set any more goals. I'm only disappointed. I only, you know, don't meet them, or they turn out to be totally different than what I wanted. So that's a challenge for people as to why they don't set goals. So consider that for yourself. A lot of people are just comfortable where they are, and this is a big area that I actually spend time with, with my clients. A lot of my clients, even in corporate, let alone if, you know, outside of the work environment, they're very comfortable. Think about it. I've had, you know, individuals say to me that as much as they know they need to, you know, quit smoking or lose weight or get fit because of some, you know, health issue, or just because they know it's not good for them, and I say, okay, so why haven't you? And they're like, well, I kind of, I'm okay with where I'm at. I'm okay with, you know, being overweight or unfit or, you know, gasping for breath. That's what happened to me when it came to smoking. And trust me, I made every excuse in the world why I didn't for many years. You know, so You know, they're comfortable where they are because again, like I said, we're going to talk about the 4 A's of change tomorrow night. Change is hard. Change is scary. Change is difficult. Yet you can't, you can't grow because growing even in the slightest is a change. So what we need to do is we need to find the ways and the things that you can do and give you tips and tools and techniques for managing that change and allowing it. And actually, you'll get to a point where you welcome it. I love change. I do. I love it. Bring it on. Even the scariest of changes. I'm just challenged and fueled by it. Challenged in a good way. Some people are just plain lazy. Now, I don't think anybody that's, you know, on this series right now is lazy because you wouldn't be here. So I don't see that at all in any of you, but some people are just lazy. They just are like, ah. I'm going to give you a methodology, kind of a discipline more, and a new habit that you can learn when it comes to goals. Because setting your goals is one thing, but then it— and, you know, setting those those overarching goals is the first step. But then there's a kind of a discipline that you need to get yourself into. And some people are just like, "Ah, Bernadette, that 5 minutes is just too much for me to do and handle." And, you know, really? Yeah, really? Because this is what I want you to consider. I want you to consider that every one of these challenges, or what I might call an excuse, is just putting a value on yourself. So you're assigning a value onto yourself when you make an excuse or you allow yourself to be comfortable or you're lazy or you're fearful or whatever the case might be. You're actually putting a stamp of a value on you and your worthiness. Now, that's a challenge. That people have when it comes to goals, whether it's setting them or pursuing them, is the worthiness, the value they put on themselves. So we're gonna get into all of that, and we will definitely be talking about that. But when it comes to just sitting down and doing your goals, you know, between lazy and being comfortable, that's a value you don't deserve. You don't deserve you shouldn't have on for yourself. And if there's an inkling of that feeling of being comfortable or lazy— again, I don't think any of you here today are— then that's where I want to help. That's where I want to be your support. All right, now two big ones are simply fear of failure and fear of success. So, let me break this down a little bit for you. So, I had a fear of failure. Now, that's a kind of a common, common, you know, fear, a common challenge for people is, you know, they set these goals, maybe they did confide in that friend, maybe they even like me, I blast them out on Facebook and Twitter when I set my goals and I, because I kind of want that accountability and I want that support, but a lot of people don't. Because they're afraid that, well, what if I don't make, you know, don't do my goals? What if I don't make my goals? What if I fail miserably, you know, in my goals? Then here I, you know, I've gone and told people, I've gone and shared it publicly, um, and, you know, so they kind of regress, um, back into not wanting to at all share their goals, let alone define their goals. And I'm just here to kind of help you to overcome that, and that's what this whole series is about. Now let me give you an example of that. I got a call the other day. I've been very active on LinkedIn recently and getting a lot of HR individuals reaching out to me regarding my coaching and consulting. So I had a gentleman reach out. He's a senior VP of a business, and we were talking, and he said, well, he says, I've had this plan to want to expand my reach, my brand, my knowledge, my education, and I am wanting to kind of be a speaker, become a coach, a consultant, so forth and so on. And I would, you know, I I'm challenged with actually taking action on that. And I'm like, well, if you want it so bad, what's holding you up? And he's like, well, and he really wasn't getting, getting to an answer. And I said, well, what are you afraid of? He went, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm not afraid of anything. I'm not afraid. I'm like, well, if you were joyful and confident and secure about it, you would certainly you would certainly be pursuing it, right? Wouldn't you? Doesn't that make sense? And he's like, huh, you're kidding me. And I said, so all you need to do is really think about what is it that you're afraid of. And, you know, especially for a man to admit they're afraid, and I told him that. I said, you know, you got to get over your pride and over the fear of admitting that you're afraid of something, you know, but you have to do it if you, if you want what it is that you say you want, you just have to do it. So, you know, he didn't come back with failure or success yet, but there is a fear there. So I would ask the same of you, is if there's fear there, then just kind of do spend some time, and this week is a great opportunity to figure out what that is. All right, now fear of success. Who would be scared of success, you ask? Me. I have a fear of success. Now, I've worked on it tremendously over the last, I would say, 7 or 8 years. But this is why. I'm, you know, my life is really good and I have what I, well, not everything I want, but it's good. And with success would bring change. Remember that change? Now, I'm not afraid of that change. But yet at the same time, do I really want to take and make the changes that might come when I succeed and finally have what I want? So a friend of mine, I've been working on my film script, for instance, and I'll mention that briefly tonight, but it's not relevant for now. But I've been working on it and a friend said, well, you're going to be moving to LA in order to get it done. And I'm thinking, uh, I really don't want to be moving to LA anytime soon. But yet I want it to be sold and produced and all that kind of good stuff. So you have to consider for yourself if there is a degree of fear of success in your challenge to not only define your goals but get them on writing, get them in writing, and actually pursue them. Okay, so I want you to be thinking of all of that as you, not only now, but as you go through the week. And if you want to, feel free to share it. Like I said, this is a safe environment. I'd love for you to be able to share it and kind of relate to the other people that are having the same issue as well. All right, okay, um, now let me see, I want to make sure, okay, I want to cover, um, and then I'll get to your homework, but I want to cover 5 keys that we're going to be talking about all week and building upon, but these are the 5 keys to your success. Not specifically at work, not specifically at home, but in life. Okay, and these are realizations that I've had over the last, I would say, 9, 10 years as I was making my way as out of corporate into my own, not only consulting world and coaching world, but also just my new life as it was going to happen post my 25-year corporate career. So I realized and learned very, in a very hard way that everything in life has to do with your mindset. It has nothing to do with your skill set. You can be the most talented, experienced, expert individual, and yet if you don't have the confidence in yourself, the sense of worthiness, the sense of value, the sense of, of focus and clarity around what talents you have and you don't honor them, then you're never— it's not going to reap the rewards that you're looking for. Yes, you could have a great career. I had a fabulous career, as I mentioned, and yet my mindset wreaked havoc and never allowed me to fully, fully optimize. Now you might say, well, wait a minute, didn't you say you were a VP or whatever the case might be? Yes, but I wasn't happy. I wasn't fulfilled. I had the title, but I— it wasn't as if I was complete. So you have to realize, and I'm gonna work on you with that this week, is that your mindset rules anything and everything else. Get the education, get the training, work on your skills, but you need to make a priority to work on your mindset. All right, self-awareness is your next key to success. Self-awareness. If you don't know who you are and you're not willing to do the work to figure it out, you'll never be able to say, oh well, this is what I want, truly want, really want, passionately want. You're always going to kind of be in that comfortable space. You're never going to have the knowledge, let alone the confidence to say Well, you know what? No, no, I want the brass ring. When I started writing my screenplay, people thought I was nuts. They're like, you really think you could, you know, produce a film and have it sold and on the big screen? I was like, yep, you know, I was like, talk to the hand, thank you very much for your input. But, you know, I know within myself where I lack and and where my strengths are. And so you get the support for where you feel like you're lacking, and then you just accelerate where your core strengths are. And we're going to talk all about that. Another key to success is truth and authenticity. Actually, that's— I'm sorry, truth is the third one. You have to be honest with yourself. You have to be you. You have to, apart or on top of being self-aware, you have to be able to say, "Ah, I'm not really crazy about this part of me, but I love this part of me. Really? Is that really how I'm, you know, behaving or thinking or doing? Oh, wait, I like, love this part." You have to be honest. I always say truth sits on the surface. So a lot of times in my coaching, I only give them very quick periods of time to think, because the first things that are going to come up is going to be what it is that you want. The truth sits on the surface. Anything else after that— and maybe it's a minute or two— but anything after that, people start contriving. They start kind of trying to just pull something out of the air. So you need to tap into your truth and be okay in admitting it. And again, If you only want to acknowledge it here in this community, even amongst you and I, then that's okay. Just admit it to yourself. Be truthful to yourself. And then the fourth one is to be authentic. Now, I spent decades being someone totally unlike myself, totally made up, totally contrived, yet it, it seeped into my spirit, into my soul, and took over and wreaked havoc on me and everyone else around me. And so over the last 9 or 10 years, I've been shedding and shedding and then creating and creating based on and with the foundation of acknowledging my goals and really working on what it is that I want. And lastly, and I kind of lumped all of these into it, but a key to success is confidence. Now again, 1, 2, 3, and 4 all lead to confidence. It leads to energy and focus and clarity and persistence and determination. But confidence, the fact that you deserve it, the fact that you can do it, the fact that you have everything right now that you need to pursue and achieve your goals. And if you can be thinking in that abundant way and not in, in the other mindsets of lack and negativity and desperation. Those other things we'll talk about as we go. But as it comes to goal setting, if you can just hold on and believe that you have everything that you need, so set those goals, put them down on writing, overcome those challenges, and, you know, know that you can create the riches in life that you deserve. Okay.