When You're Just Not In The Mood

When was the last time you experienced a day when you just weren't in the mood? Or worse yet, you just didn't care, at least for that moment. Earlier, I was sitting here staring at a blank screen, typing words, and yet feeling extremely blah. Not a creative idea or word was showing up. I had little to no energy to do anything. And here I was prepping for an episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. And that's when it came to me. It came to me to lean into the subject of what do you do when you just aren't in the mood or when your tank is empty? And yet as a leader, you're expected to show up as your best. You're expected to show up on, you're expected to show up to inspire and motivate and get things done. And because we all have those days when we wake up tired, overwhelmed, stressed, feeling helpless, or just, you know, running on empty, we know that we have to rally for our teams to get the job done. And at the same time, we want to shift out of that state of being because it feels really crappy. So I want to dive into exactly what is the impact when you're just not in the mood, not only to your team or to the business, but to yourself, what you could be doing about it, simple hacks, simple strategies. And then how do you navigate yourself from running on empty to being fully charged and energized to go out and have a powerhouse day? So let's get started.

Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms today's managers into tomorrow's powerhouse leaders. Your host, Bernadette Boas, executive coach and author, brings you into a world where the corporate grind meets personal growth and success in each and every episode. With more than 25 years in corporate trenches, Bernadette's own journey from being dismissed as a tyrant boss to becoming a sought-after leadership coach and speaker illustrates the very essence of transformation that she now inspires in others with her tips, strategies, and stories. So if You're ready to shed the bitches of fear and insecurity, ditch the imposter syndrome, and step into the role of the powerhouse leader you were born to be. This podcast is for you. Let's do this.

To get started, let me give you some context before my full disclosure that I just was not in the mood when I got up this morning. So I had a horrific night's sleep. Between the strange dreams and all the thoughts and ideas running through my mind throughout the night, I just woke up feeling very strained, very empty, kind of like just no energy. My eyes were very heavy and I just wasn't in a mood to have to go through the day. I knew I needed to push through. Because like you, as a leader, as a manager, as any corporate professional, you have obligations, you have commitments, you have workloads that you need to consider. But there are times where you definitely need to make a decision as to whether or not you need to push through or you need to simply, you know, wave the white flag and bail or give in. To the state of being that you're in. But how do you decide which one you, you know, you kind of act on? Because there are days, regardless of what our commitments look like or what our workload looks like or what our calendar looks like, where we do need to simply say, you know what, I need to rest. I need to hydrate. I need to get, take a walk and get my head on straight. But again, there's that, there's that tug of war between the obligations that we have and what our body, mind, and spirit is telling us. So the first thing that you can be looking at to decide whether or not you want to push through or give yourself a break is to, one, recognize the signs. Of just being burned out, of being on running on empty, of just not being fully present. And that is, you know, just the fact that you have a lack of focus, you're irritable, you are delaying or procrastinating what it is that needs to get started, let alone get completed. That's maybe sitting on your desk or maybe down the hall at home. And recognizing that state of being mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually will help you decide whether or not you're going to be able to make the shifts and the changes that are needed. So when you do go out into the world, even if it's across a computer, you can say that I'm going to be present. I'm going to be attentive. I'm going to be intentional. I'm gonna be focused. I'm gonna be able to add value and contribute toward the day. Because remember, yes, there's a job to do, but there's also people that are relying on you and there will be impact to those people depending upon your state of being. And then as well, as we talked about, it's a crappy existence to live in a state of being, even if it's short-term, let alone long-term, that just feels empty and, you know, stressed and overwhelmed. So you want to recognize the signs of where you're at, and I'll give you some tips as to how to do that. At the same time, you want to assess yourself. You want to kind of look at your body, mind, and spirit. And then lastly, you want to consider seriously the impact that you're going to have if you were to go out into the world without making any changes. Should you wake up or should you be halfway through your day and you're irritable or you're frustrated or you're on a short fuse or you're just not fully attentive and fully present with those around you. And we all have these days, no matter what level of the organization we're in, how busy or how blank. Our work schedules are, or how big or small our projects or responsibilities are, we all have these days. So it's really, really important to, one, recognize that in yourself, but also recognize that in other people, that they also could be a little off and ensure that you're there to support them. At the same time, if you need support, you need to be acknowledging and being transparent to them about the fact that, you know what, I'm just having a really crappy day. Or, you know what, I need a, I need a day off. I need a day of rest. That's really important because you definitely want to be swallowing your pride and not killing yourself. You don't want to ignore what your body, mind, and spirit is telling you. And there's times when it is telling you that you need to rest, you need to have some quiet time, you need to kind of separate yourself from all the chaos that could be going on around you. While there, at the same time, you want to listen for, no, you got this, you can push through this. This is just, you know, a bad night's sleep. And that was the decision I made this morning was, yes, I was tired. I was irritable. My, my head hurt. My eyes were heavy. I didn't have the energy level I typically have, and yet there was too many other important things going on around me that I wanted to be there for. Need to, as a leader, really get very laser focused on listening to your body, mind, and spirit, and making sure that you're taking care of yourself. Because as they say, even on a plane, You know, put, put the mask on yourself first before helping others. They're telling you, you need to take care of yourself first to be the best leader for the people around you. If you were to decide you need to push through, what can you do in order to go from a very low, if not empty tank, to a very full, robust, energetic tank? Well, first off, Give yourself permission to feel off. Again, swallow the pride and simply give yourself a break and give yourself permission to feel whatever it is that you're feeling. If it is tired, irritability, you know, stress, empty, Feel it, recognize it. You can even sit there and, and, and, you know, go back and forth with, do I like this feeling or do I not like this feeling? Because the more you say you don't like it, you're going to want to be motivated and energized to shift from it. But at the beginning of this, just simply recognize and acknowledge the state of mind that you're in. Okay. And then simply, you know, do small things that can help you find that energy, find that motivation, find that momentum to— of moving forward. So let me give you a few ideas where that's concerned. So one of the things that I'll do is first thing in the morning, though I failed to do it this morning, I have to acknowledge that. Is I'll do a head to toe, toe to head assessment of myself physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. So I'll start up at the head and I'll just go down. How, you know, how am I feeling in my mind? How am I feeling in my face, in my jaw? Because we tend to clench or bite down when we're stressed or strained or irritated. You know, am I open and smiling or am I feeling like scowling, you know, and then I work my way down. Is my chest heavy or is it open and getting a lot of, you know, oxygen? How are my hips feeling? All the way down to the toes. And then I come back up and I look at it physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. How do I feel? And then if anything is off, I'll, I'll say, okay, so what do I need to do to shift it? If my, for instance, this morning with the bad mattress, if my body is aching, what can I do to shift those aches out and bring more fuel and more energy into my body? And so I might get up and I might stretch. I might just meditate mentally. I might pray. I might. Do a little, you know, exercises while I'm lying in bed or when I first get up from bed. I, this whole process can literally take anywhere from 1 to 5 minutes, no more than that, just to kind of acknowledge where I'm at and then to shift it. And so you could do that as well for yourself is whether or not you are laying in bed or you just got out. Out of bed, you want to, you know, do a head to toe, toe to head type of assessment. Now, why is this important? Well, you don't want to be running out into the world in a state of being that's just going to be projected onto other people, and it's going to come back to you in the same way you're putting it out. So if you go out in a bad mood, I can guarantee you, you're going to have a bad mood coming back at you. Whether it's from one person or everybody that you interact with in a given day. And if you need proof of that, go out in the world with a scowl on your face, even if you're not feeling scowly, but go out with a scowl on your face and see what is reflected back. The same with go out with a smile on your face, even when you're feeling crappy and see what comes back at you. But more importantly, not only what comes back at you, See how your mood changes, your energy changes, your state of mind changes because someone's smiling back at you. How are you going to do anything but smile? How are you going to do anything but feel good when someone actually is smiling back at you versus if someone's scowling back at you and say you were in a good mood, but you're practicing the scowling and they scowl back at you. I can guarantee you all of a sudden your mood's going to go a little negative because of that reaction that you received. So you can just do a full assessment and allow yourself to shift very quickly within a very short period of time. Now, the other thing that you can be doing is you can start small on finding things to do that will then give you momentum to do something even, you know, bigger. And so that could start at home. So say you get up, you're frustrated, you're tired, you're aggravated, but yet you, you know, and you've done your head to toe, but you're still kind of feeling a little bit off. You can go and do a small task, make coffee, make breakfast, feed the dog, take a walk, put on an exercise tape, whatever the case might be. I did age myself right there, but, and just start something small. If you do go from the bed and sit down at your desk, then just pick one thing that you could be working on to kind of find your way into it and then grow from there. Okay. So start small and do one task at a time that will give you not only the energy or the momentum moving forward, but finishing that task will give you some confidence and some motivation to want to complete another task to be able to check that one off as well. And if you need to, what you can also be doing at the same time is if you are somewhat unfocused, if you are distracted, if you are feeling like you're procrastinating on things, then commit to yourself that you're gonna sit down, even if it's for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, take one of the tasks that you have on your to-do list, set a timer. We all have timers on our phone. Set a timer and simply commit to being focused and being present, actively working on that one task for 5 or 10 minutes. And that you'll also find will give you some energy, but also confidence that you're achieving something and that you're only going to want to achieve more as a result. You're going to want that feeling of accomplishment. Even if you didn't finish it in that 5 or 10 minutes, you're going to at least feel accomplished that you were focused, intentional, and attentive to that task for that 5 10-minute time slot. And then the next thing you know, you say, okay, I'm going to do that for another 10 minutes, or now I'm going to work on something else, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, and you can grow from there. But if you ever are feeling distracted or unfocused, starting small, setting boundaries, the amount of time that you're going to put your focus towards can give you a lot of fuel in that tank. The other one that I'll also suggest to my clients, and I do it myself, quite honestly, is when I'm feeling not so right or just off a little bit, I'll get dressed. Even if I'm at home, I'm going to be, and I'm going to be doing calls all day. Even if I'm on a phone call, let alone a Zoom call, what I'll do is I'll get dressed. I'll put on the makeup. I'll put on. You know, jewelry, didn't today, but we'll put on jewelry. We'll put on, you know, a nice outfit just because again, feeling like you look good makes you feel good. And so getting dressed is also something very simple. If you're going into an office and you woke up in a bad day, then put on your best dress and go out, whether that's a suit or a dress, actually. And go out and, you know, all of a sudden that is going to provide you some confidence and some energy that you might not have had before. Versus, think about it, you go out and you have a nice skirt and top, or you have a nice pair of trousers and a polo shirt on, and you know, you're received very differently than if you were to go out and you have a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt on. These little tweaks can definitely help to generate a shift in your state of mind. Now, oftentimes when someone's feeling low on energy or low on desire, low on purpose or value, they're just kind of hitting a wall and they're frustrated. Going back to the goals that you have or going back to why those goals are important for you to pursue and achieve will also provide some momentum that you're lacking. By looking at the fact that, you know, I have this goal and these are the reasons why I want to achieve these goals because they're going to change my life in, you know, 1, 2, and 3 ways. That will also kind of help someone to say, mm, you know what, I have to get started on this. Now again, through any of this, you might then have this tug of war of, well, you know what, it can wait until tomorrow. And I would advocate that you listen to that. You listen to your intuition, you listen to your body and mind. As to whether or not you should push through or you should just settle and go quiet and have rest. Now, should you decide to push through, that doesn't restrict you or even limit you to still looking at the laundry list of to-dos or the full blocked out calendar of meetings. And decide that you want to be offloading and delegating some of that work or some of those meetings to other people. Because one, there's no better morale booster for other people than to be given new assignments or different assignments or challenging assignments or given an opportunity to sit in on a meeting that they had never had before. So it's good for them. At the same time, you would be opening white space on your calendar or on your to-do list that then he allows you to breathe and allows you to recognize that there's room for you to then continue to work through whatever it is that you're, you're dealing with. So really also use this opportunity to not only recognize the state of mind that you're in, assess it, make changes so you shift from it, but also then get practical to say, you know, this might also be telling me that I need to be looking at everything that I have on my plate and deciding whether I should be delegating it, delaying it, deleting it, or doing it myself. So there's also that opportunity that these downtimes tend to bring up for us because one, your body, mind, and spirit is telling you something when you are stressed or strained, overwhelmed, not feeling on, not caring, and not really having a desire to do anything. It, it's, it's also screaming to you, hey, You need to look at things that are going on in your world and reprioritize or reestablish or make sure you are delegating, make sure you are delaying or deleting things that are just not important, even though everyone around you is telling you that they are. So it gives you a great opportunity to do that for yourself, but also for your team members to have an opportunity to do things that maybe you weren't giving an opportunity to do before. Something very practical, very simple, but yet very powerful that you could be doing too, to kind of shift yourself and get in the mood, so to speak, is change things up. Work from a different space. That could be move where you are or where you typically work in your own home to a new location. Get out and go to a coffee shop and work from there. Go to the library. Go into the office if you have that opportunity. If you're in the office and you're just not fully present and not fully on, then maybe get yourself out of the office. If you can't leave the building, maybe go find a conference room or go out into the, you know, shared space that there might be outside or go down the street to a to a coffee shop, get yourself out of the, the environment that might also be contributing to you just not finding the energy and not finding the mood that you want to be in, in order to push through. At the same time, take yourself for a walk, go play with your dog. I'll take a lot of mini 5-minute breaks throughout the day. And I'll just either stay in and, you know, play with my dog, or I'll take her out to the yard and throw the ball for a few minutes. And she typically will only do that for 2 or 3 times, and she comes in herself. But it gives me a break, you know, and it'll give you a break just to get out of the space that also could be contributing to the weight of the state of mind that you're in. Lastly, switch up your routine. Depending upon what it is, just move things around. If you work out in the morning, decide to work out at night. Give yourself a break in the morning and just sit at home and, you know, on the couch enjoying a cup of coffee before you get into the workspace and then go to the gym at night. If you typically don't go out to eat, go out to eat for lunch as opposed to eating in or ordering in or grabbing something from the cupboard. Whatever the case might be, but switch up your routine. Sometimes we get into such a routine that it becomes mundane. It becomes like you're, you know, a gerbil on a wheel because, and the scene never changes. Change up the scene, change up the routine. Keep in mind, if those push-through strategies don't work, then it could be because your body, mind, and spirit is telling you telling you to rest, telling you to just get the break that you need, and you should listen to it. And especially if your schedule allows for it, you should take advantage of it. And when I say when your schedule allows for it, even if it means you making hard decisions about moving things around or canceling things or delaying things or deleting things. If your body is telling you that you need a break, you need a rest, you need some quiet time, then be sure to listen to it. Okay? Now, recognize it's okay to have low energy days. It's, it's okay to simply not be in the mood or even not to care sometimes. What is important is that you just find the tools and the practices and the techniques that will allow you to recognize when you're not in a good state of being, to assess what it is that might be creating it or causing it, delaying it, and then using those tips, tools, and strategies to work your way through it. Just take care of yourself. You deserve it. And to be a powerhouse leader, you really want to ensure that you're modeling for others, but also for yourself, self-care. All right. I am grateful that you were here this week, and I'll look forward to having you right back here for another episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Bye.

Thank you for tuning into today's episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Every journey taken together is another step towards unleashing the powerhouse leader within you. Don't miss any of our weekly episodes. Subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you love to listen. And for those who thrive on visual content, catch us on our Shedding the Bitch YouTube channel. Want to dive deeper with Bernadette on becoming a powerhouse leader? Visit balloffirecoaching.com to learn more about how she helps professionals, HR executives, and team leaders elevate overall team performance. You've been listening to Shedding the Corporate Bitch with Bernadette Boas. Until next time, keep shedding, keep growing, and keep leading.