Why and when can a Coach help me achieve my goals?

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com/SheddingtheBitch or share share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910.

Welcome, welcome, welcome everyone. How are you on this beautiful, beautiful Tuesday in Atlanta, Georgia? It is absolutely gorgeous, it's in probably at this point it's probably up to the high 70s, nice coolish type of breeze, tons of sunshine, so much so that all the leaves are finally bloomed and the trees are in full growth, so much so that I have found the new wiring that I guess the cable company did on the outside side of my house is now getting dragged down by, is getting dragged down by the tree growth. And I kind of looked up at my roofline and noticed that the whole front side of my roof is being pulled out from the foundation as a result of the trees growing so beautifully and the cable not loose enough, and it's very tight, so it's getting dragged. But other than that, I just looked at it and said, "Oh, okay, they'll take care of it," and life is good with the world. Life is good, life is good. So I hope it is wherever you might be on this beautiful, beautiful Tuesday, and I hope you are all gearing up for a wonderful, wonderful, blessed Mother's Day week. Yes, it is Mother's Day this coming Sunday for those of you. Who didn't have it on your calendar, and we'll talk about more about that in just a second. But I am very grateful and blessed that my family vacation last week, I broadcasted it from Ocean City, New Jersey, which is our, our usual May broadcast is out of Ocean City, New Jersey, where I go each first week of every May with my 5 sisters and any nieces that are over the age of 21. And we just realized that this particular house that we're— we stay in, in Ocean City, it's beautiful, right on the beach. We have kind of the third floor level that overlooks the dunes but also right into the ocean, and we just sit on the patio morning, noon, and night. And this, this particular year's weather was fabulous, so I even got to sit out there because I don't sit in direct sunlight and I'll only go out there if it's not only shady but also a little bit cool, and it was absolutely stunning. But it made me think too that it always leads into Mother's Day, and my mother typically has always been with us, and she's now been gone for 5 years. So it was just one of those very blessed, blessed, blessed times with the family, times with my sisters, times to reflect on my mom.. And it was just a wonderful vacation. Came back very well rested, little bit of pink cheeks, which I'm okay with. Anything more than that, I might get concerned. But it was, it was wonderful. And thank you all for your well wishes in regards to the vacation, especially those of you who follow me on my personal page and checked out the numerous photos, not that I posted, but that my crazy, crazy, crazy sisters post on a regular basis. I'm just kind of wanting to document the, um, the beautiful time that we have together. So that leads into Mom's Day, and I do want to do an early shout out to all of you mothers out there. Deborah, I know, of Parker House Virtual Services, she's always out there, um, with us manning the board and the soundboard and also taking and looking for your Facebook posts, your tweeter posts, your tweet posts, and she's out there now, but happy early Mother's Day, Deborah.

Thank you very much, I really appreciate it.

And you have a busy month because I know it's your 5-year-old Andrew's birthday, and then you also have your anniversary coming up, 10 years.

10 years. My wedding anniversary is on Thursday. 10 years of marriage. Wow.

Okay, so now with, you know, that you have a 5-year-old Andrew and a 6-and-a-half John, what do they— what do you all do for Mother's Day? And at the same time, it's kind of being tied in too closely with your anniversary. So what, any big plans?

Probably just going out for like a brunch or something. My kids like to do crafts. So my husband will go to the craft store and find something fun for them to do, you know, mom-inspired, and then they give me little crafts and pictures and whatnot. And then because it's all kind of so close together, my husband and I just kind of chill on our anniversary.

Yeah, I don't blame you. I don't blame you. You kind of need to, you know, especially with two young'uns, and both boys, and both boys.

Yes, very. Toes-in-the-mud kind of boys.

I bet, I bet. Well, I hope you and everybody has a beautiful, beautiful Mother's Day, and I'll be thinking about you and sending out little prayers and angels, uh, to watch over all of you, to have a blessed, blessed week and Mother's Day celebration. You're welcome. Thank you. Um, now that said, our conversation today, which I'll mention in a minute, um, it's basically around coaching I'm gonna touch on why that might be a great gift for some mothers out there. And it is a kind of a sector, a segment of individuals that are definitely benefactors of coaching, and we'll talk about that in a bit. But I also wanna remind everybody, it is also Mental Health Awareness Month. And I brought this up on last week's show, and we kicked off May, with kind of a slant on the Ask Me Anything Tuesday that we do on the first Tuesday of the month. But because it was Mental Health Awareness Month and I had just, leading into last week's show, had been asked by numerous people about mental health and some specific questions and issues around it, we dedicated last week's opening program to May to mental health. So definitely go back and you can go to sheddingthebitch.com to our radio channel page and you can download it there, or you can go right back to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and you can download the replay there as well as find it on iTunes under the Shedding the Bitch channel. But it was a whole discussion, whole hour about what is mental health and what is the stigma and why is there a stigma and how do we overcome that stigma. We also then talked about kind of what do you look for, not only in other people when it comes to potentially them dealing with some mental health issues, but even yourself. So is that depression or anxiety or anger or sadness or ongoing, you know, just feeling stuck and muddy, is that, you know, components or elements of mental health in there and if so, what can you be doing about it. And really what we also worked hard with that program on is to eliminate the stigma around mental health. It is just like your physical health. It's just another aspect of your being, and therefore we really, really need the culture out there to embrace it and just look at it as just another ailment that needs to get treated. And, but it's up to us individually to not look at therapy or not look at mental health as something to be ashamed of or something to, to judge or ridicule someone with, even yourselves. And we need to look at it as just simply something that needs to get addressed. I certainly have seen my share of a therapist in my, especially in my 20s, and I'm not embarrassed or ashamed or shy in sharing my experiences. So if you should ever want some, you know, help or you just want to relate, feel free to always reach out to me in regards to that as well. But like I said, go back to that episode. It's a great episode. It's still getting listens and downloads, and would always love to hear your thoughts and impressions on it, and you can always do that at Facebook or Twitter on our Shedding the Bitch page. We also have had interviews with Paula Kramer who talked about girl grit, We talked with Jim Beach about how to get free PR using podcasts and radio, and also Terri Wilderman, our intuitive leadership coach who is a regular here, and she shared with us a conversation in regards to just how to tap into your gut, tap into your intuition to help you grow in your own personal or professional life. So all of those are on BlogTalkRadio, they are on our ShedInThePitch.com radio channel, and of course iTunes. All right, so today is all about getting an understanding of how and when people hire a professional coach and what benefit and kind of impact could coaches have on you and your goals, and I'll define kind of the various type of coaches. We're not talking soccer coaches here or baseball coaches, but we are talking a number of other coaches that are out there that definitely bring significant impact to individuals' lives. We'll also walk through some scenarios. I'll give you scenarios not only of my own clients but of prospective clients and of other situations I know people have come to me and others for support and for help with. And then I really want to get down to what should you be looking for in a coach to ensure you actually do receive those benefits and you achieve the goals that you've set out to do. And also what not to— I'll say what not to accept or allow from a coaching relationship. Those are just as important to kind of assess up front long before you engage them as it is any other time, and what you could do to avoid such a type of coach through your interview and through your qualifying process. And then I'm going to give you all— listen up— I'm going to give you all an opportunity to learn firsthand and to experience firsthand what and how you can benefit from coaching. And therefore, I'll be offering a complimentary coaching session to you, any one of you, all of you who are listening and who want to take that 30 minutes to really experience what coaching can do for you and for your career, for your business, and overall your life. But you have to continue listening to learn how you go about doing that because there will be a specific way to do that to ensure that I understand that it's coming from our Shedding the Bits radio program and therefore it's complimentary to you. All right, but you have to stay tuned. You have to stay tuned. All right, so as we do all the time, I'll introduce the subject, I'll give you a rich question, and then we'll take a break and come back and dive into it. All right, so we are talking coaching. What is it? Who, what, and when do you engage it? What to look for, and what value, benefit, and impact can coaching have for you? So your rich question I want you to be thinking about— this is a question that you just put into your your thought process as we discuss it, and hopefully I will have addressed it by the end of the program. If not, just— Deborah's online, Deborah's out there. You can go to Facebook, you can go to Twitter, you can even call in to 1-818-572-2910, and you can talk to me personally right now in it for the next, uh, 48 minutes. Or you could even chat with us and you can go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio, go to this episode's segment and scroll down, you'll see a chat room and I am on the chat room all the time and also looking for any comments or questions there should you have them. And keep in mind, you don't need to share your name, you don't need to tell me who you are specifically, for me to help you. So for those of you who are concerned about, you know, revealing who you are and who might be listening, don't worry about it. You don't have to, you don't have to share your, any of your contact information with me. Okay, all right. So, oh, your hashtags. So we always give you rich tags so you can tweet and Facebook with us. So #bizwomen #BizCoach, #LifeCoach, and then of course #ShedTheBitch. And we'd love to see your comments and your, your tweets or your Facebook posts at those hashtags. All right, we're gonna take a break. I'm gonna take a drink of water. When we get back, we're talking how coaching can benefit you and your goals. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Boas' book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sharpschool.com.

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Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back. Everyone, it is Mom's Day week. I just want to throw that back out there again and wish all of you moms, including, uh, let's see, 4 of my sisters, uh, who are moms, happy, happy Mom's Day. I forgot to do that at the top of the hour. Love you to death. Thank you for a great week, and I look forward to seeing you, uh, actually in a couple of weeks. So, uh, happy Mom's Day to everyone, including Deborah. I'll do that again just because You never get enough showering, do you, do you, moms? But happy Mom's Day, everybody. All right, we're talking coaching and specifically professional coaching and why someone would engage a coach. I get this question a lot, and it was funny, I don't know, it was sometime when I got back, maybe Sunday night, and I realized that my plan for today wasn't fully baked. I'm just putting, I'm just telling you the truth. And yet I spent a lot of time even hanging out with my sisters last week explaining what it is I do, why I do it, and what impact I have on my clients. And I thought to myself, you know, this is a question I get often, and I'm sure any coach out there would agree that they get it as well. And it definitely is part of our prospecting process, is, you know, our prospects asking us about what exactly it is that we do. So I thought, well, my sisters have these questions and these other professionals have the same questions, then maybe that would make a great segment. And like I said, it is Mom's Week, so I thought also moms deserve a little treatment and a little self-care, and that too is what coaching is all about, and we'll get into that even more so. So for those of you wanting something unique and different for your mom, this could be it. And you can let me know at the end of the program if you would agree with that. So let's define what coaching is first, and I'll also tell you what it's not so you have a really clear understanding. So a formal definition, a Wikipedia definition if you will, states that coaching is an informal relationship between two people. Of whom one has more experience and expertise than the other and offers advice and guidance as the latter learns. But coaching differs from mentoring in focusing on specific tasks or objectives. So coaching is definitely— it's more general goals or your overall development. That's how you can look at coaching. Now what it is not is, like I mentioned, it's not mentoring when you're mentoring someone on specific tasks or objectives, or you might be mentoring them— well, it would be a specific task or objective being the objective of, you know, becoming a leader, a better leader. You might mentor someone on that. It's not consulting, and why it's not consulting is consulting basically is about telling you what to do and how to do it and even doing it themselves. In a lot of cases. Coaching is not. Coaching is listening and asking a lot of questions and allowing the coachee, as they're called, to kind of take the lead in executing or moving forward in addressing whatever it is that's being discussed and that's being coached on. And we'll get into more of that. You'll relate more to it as we get into some scenarios. And it's not sponsoring, and sponsoring and coaching are often confused. Actually, coaching, mentoring, and sponsoring often get confused. Sponsoring, or having a sponsor, means that you have someone in your network, in your very close circle, who advocates for you, who sponsors you behind closed doors, if you want to, you know, get more literal. But behind closed doors, when you're not in the room. So, and that's not mentoring. Mentoring's a very open, kind of transparent, visible type of engagement between two people where you are just helping and focusing on something that a particular individual has— wants help on or wants to grow with. And then coaching can be more general goals and more— a longer relationship and it's more of a listening and an asking questions and allowing the coachee to take the lead on making the decisions as to what the next steps are. Sponsoring is merely having someone that if you tell that person, look, I'm looking to, you know, move to the next level, or I'm looking to learn a new skill, or take on a new position or a job or a project, they are out there when opportunities come up, and they are willing to put their reputation on the line to sponsor you and, and advocate for you to get that job, get that project, get that promotion. So those are the differences between all of them. Now, I will tell you that as a lifelong consultant that also coached You will find, if you should ever work with me or even talk with me, you will find that I am a blend of both. I definitely ask a lot of questions. I listen. I allow you to take the lead. But if you are struggling, you specifically ask, you know, for some help or guidance or advice or specific tasks or steps to do. I will also do that. And then I've also gotten to the point of where if someone said to me, well, I need help to actually get this thing done, and I have that skill set, I'll also offer my, my support, my help, and my services in that regard. So my tendency can be both coach and consultant. But so you just— and we'll talk about this more later— you need to figure out what it is that you want to determine the type of actual coach you're looking for. But we'll, we'll get into that in a minute. Now, there are various types of coaches, as I mentioned all the way up front. You could have a business coach. Business coaches are typically those with business experience and expertise, and you've asked to engage them to help you specifically in your business. On a business issue, um, versus a life coach, um, is going to help you with something going on personally. Uh, it could be— you could get professional, um, insights from a life coach, but you're not necessarily going to get business advice from a life coach. So a lot of business coaches, or all business coaches, if I'll lay it out this way: all business coaches deal with life. And what I mean by that is you can't, you can't be a professional without having your personal being come into, come into the matter, come into the subject, come into the issue, come into the opportunity. The way you operate as a business person has everything to do with you personally, which is life. So business coaches Often, as much as they are addressing a business function or a business issue, 90% of that time is spent dealing with that individual's personal stuff—their way they go about, their confidence, their security, their focus and clarity and determination and persistence. All of the intangibles, all the emotional, spiritual, mental aspects come into business coaching. But life coaching, that will tap into that spiritual, physical, mental, emotional elements or aspects of an individual that the coach is trying to help with, won't get into business stuff. Does that make sense? So you, when you are out there looking for a coach and if it's primarily about your business yet you know that you're getting in your own way, you hire a business coach. If it's purely that you're getting in your own way, you don't know how to set goals, you're poor at time management, you're dealing with some sort of trauma or life situation, it has nothing to do with you in your business or career, then you hire a life coach. I hope that's, that's clear or delineates the differences there. But there are also fitness coaches, there are also health coaches, there are spiritual coaches, and there's a number of other types of coaches. The two prominent ones, meaning the ones that come closest together and can confuse some people are the business and life coaches. And all I would suggest you think about there is if your primary driver of hiring a coach is your business or your career, then you hire a business coach. If it has nothing to do with your work or your business and it's about you yourself personally, then you hire a life coach. And that is definitely things we're going to talk about when it comes to what do you do to assess the coach that you should be hiring, because you want to make sure you have that clear delineation between those coaches to ensure that you're getting the right one and your expectations are met and you're not disappointed. All right. Now, again, if you have any questions on this during the program, you can certainly call 1-818-572-2910 or chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio. Find this episode, scroll down, and there's a chat room there. If you are one of the 98% that, that take us on the road and you download us after we go live, then always feel free to come back to Facebook or Twitter, Shedding the Bitch pages, and post your question or your story or challenge there. You can even reach out to me directly at BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebits.com, and like I always say, you can even reach out to me on LinkedIn where I get most of my questions directed to me. All right, so we've talked about what coaching is, what it's not, and the various types of coaches. So who hires— who hires a coach? This is probably one of the most frequently asked questions because of the fact that people are like, well, you know, who hires you? Like, who picks up the phone and says, I, I, you know, I need, I need a coach, I need some help? Well, it could be individuals, it could be— and when I say individuals, because obviously, you know, we're coaching people, right? But why I say individuals is it could be professionals who actually go about hiring a coach outside of their workplace. So maybe they have a business issue wrapped up in a personal issue that they want coaching with, but they don't want their company or business to know about it, and they don't expect that their company or business will pay for it, so they have to kind of go out of pocket and, you know, kind of do it on their own. And I have a number of those, those type of clients. I mentioned stay-at-home moms, coaching for a stay-at-home mom, because remember, stay-at-home moms is a full-time job. I, you know, and it is a job just like any other job that you might go into an office for. And so therefore, stay-at-home moms may have their own challenges or their own goals and dreams and opportunities that they want to be pursuing, and they need help. And we're going to talk about specific scenarios so you can relate more so to what it is, you know, that means. So it's stay-at-home moms. It could be out-of-work folks. Now it could be people between jobs, between professions, between deciding whether or not they're going to go look for a job or start their own business. And again, individual because they're, you know, coming to me or someone else on their own outside of a company or a business. Paying out of pocket for whatever business or life issue, health, fitness, or whatever issue they want support, support with. So any individual, and of course managers or executives will pick up the phone and hire a coach. Maybe it's for themselves in their own development, their own growth, their own planning, or it could be for one of their teammates. So, and again, we're going to go through some scenarios and I'll paint all this out. And then of course CEOs and business owners. So CEOs of large corporations will call a coach, whether it's for themselves or someone within their C-suite management team, or it could be a high potential that the CEO wants to kind of, kind of be tapped into their development plan and their growth plan. And of course, business owners who are leading their own companies, they may hire it for themselves. And that's also an area where I have a number of coaches— I'm sorry, a number of clients, and have had for about 9 years now, are business owners who really are trying to get their head around being an entrepreneur and running a business and organizing, prioritizing, planning. Doing all the things a business owner needs to do, and they need help. And they're— and, you know, so business owners. But business owners will also do it for their own teammates should they find an individual or a team that could use some coaching. So let me give you examples of teams. Is facilitation coaching? Or is collaboration? Or solving problems? So business owners would hire it. Human resource leaders are often the ones that will pull the trigger to hire a coach and bring them in to a, to a business, to an individual, or to a team, you know, to solve possibly a particular, particular issue. So let's paint some scenarios and walk through some real-life situations as to why one hires a coach. Like I said,— and I wanted to highlight it at the top— is the stay-at-home mom. You know, regardless of whether or not it's full-time being the mom or maybe they're trying to blend an at-home business or at-home hobby or passion or charity work, maybe they just are feeling that, you know, they don't know how to set their own goals, they don't know how to set their own plans for themselves. That, you know, they rarely look at themselves and really care for themselves because they're caring about everyone else. So they decide that it's time that they do. And actually, this came up. I will say that I've had one or two over the last 5 years being stay-at-home moms, but more so I learned the value of this for moms. And it is a great gift should you need a creative gift for a mom. But I learned it because of my sisters. Like I said, I broadcast the show, which is— I broadcast the show the first Tuesday of every month, and it typically is the week of Mother's Day in May when I'm with them up in Ocean City, New Jersey, I had mentioned. At the top of the hour. And one of the times I was broadcasting, my mom was still alive, so it was my mom in the room and my sisters who, like I said, 4 of them are moms. And we were talking about this, and I was talking about how moms, you know, need themselves to take care of their goals, their dreams. They really should understand what it is that they're working so hard to achieve and what their legacy wants to be. And I'm going on and on and on, and I hear sniffling going on behind me as I'm having this conversation, and it's two of my sisters who were hitting their 50-year mark, and they were beginning to kind of say, you know what, the kids are leaving the house and now it's me and my husband, and I really don't have my own personal goals, my own personal action plans, or, you know, just overall what I call rich plans to achieve what I want to achieve and the legacy I want to make for myself. So just a thought about, you know, how moms can be leveraging especially life coaches in that situation unless they do want to start a business and therefore want to hire a business coach. So an individual who's struggling to position themselves as an authority in their company could hire a coach. Maybe they're trying to figure out, all right, how do I get myself known and visible and how do I raise my voice and state my opinion? And kind of take a seat at the table, as they say. So that individual may go on their own and hire a coach outside their company, or what I first advocate when someone calls me to hire them or to hire me for themselves is I try to give them tips to go into their company and advocate for themselves to have a coach and build that business case which I'll give you toward the end of the show, the benefits, the value, the impact of coaching. And it should never be looked at in a shameful way or something, "Oh well, you know, she has a coach because she needs help or she's a problem." Those are certainly situations when a coach comes in handy, but they're not only the situation. I've had a coach, and I'll mention it now, I was going to mention it in a little bit, but I've had a coach since 2000, and we debate this, Joan and I, but I've had a coach since 2009, 2010, and we've met once a week for 30 minutes for the last 9 or 10 years, and I did it proactively. I didn't do it because I needed, you know, I had a situation or I was a development or behavioral issue. I did it because I thought to myself, okay, I'm going out on my own, I'm gonna start a business, I've never done that before, I need a coach. And I've always had mentors in my life and I've had sponsors, I never had a coach. So individuals who are looking to do things proactively as much as they're looking for kind of preventative help and support. Someone who has a difficult time getting their point across, or they have a difficult time socializing casually, especially in business. I get this more often than you would think. Individuals who, they're really good in working with a team or working with someone, but when it comes to going out for a beer or maybe a business dinner or a business function, they really have a difficult time engaging on a social basis, really revealing themselves personally, and even having the small talk with other people in the business environment. So they come and they ask for communication skills help, or they ask for socializing skills help. It's just what I really take pride in is that they have realized that that is something that they can get help on, and they've sought out the professional to help them. Now, you might have a situation where an individual is struggling to accomplish anything that they're trying to do because they're getting in their own way emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Maybe it's because financially they're dealing with things. And therefore they, you know, they need help with focus and clarity and a plan, and then execution on that plan and accountability to that plan. I've often been hired from a manager when an employee is having kind of teaming issues, or they're being considered a bully by their teammates, or they're just not collaborating in an engaging, productive way. And is, you know, and they'll come to me, the manager will come and say, you know, will you be able to help me and help that individual actually address those type of issues and those perceptions maybe that other people are having for them. Let me see, we talked about an up-and-comer. So an up-and-comer, a high potential as they might call, or it's an individual who works for themselves who knows that they just need some polishing on their leadership style. Maybe they've never engaged with clients, and especially clients that might be, you know, in corporate-sized companies, and they need help to really understand kind of etiquette almost, like, how do I go about engaging them and socializing with them and assessing them and interviewing them and asking for the deal? So one coach I didn't mention, it could fall into business coaching, but if there is a specific skill such as sales, if you need a coach for selling specifically, if someone came to me and said, Bernadette, I'm looking for a business coach, I'd drill into find out if that's really what they need, and if they say, well, I'm really looking to be a better salesperson, I would actually refer them to someone else. I am a very good business coach, general. I know how, you know, what you need to be doing from start to finish to start, grow, and manage your business. I won't ever claim to be a sales coach to help you with your selling, not because I can't, just because that's just not the sweet spot and where you're going to get the biggest bang for your buck. So of course I have a roster of people that I would say, oh well, go ahead and talk to this person for this particular skill that you're looking for. And of course we talked about the new business owner who wants to proactively and productively learn how to set goals, manage their time, overcome obstacles, that kind of thing. And that was me. So it doesn't have to be reactionary. It doesn't have to be when shit's hitting the fan. And you need help. It doesn't have to be when there's an issue or when something's about to blow up in someone's face, or maybe it already has. It can be very proactive, and part of your plan is to have that individual, have that person by your side to kind of guide and advise and, and point you in the direction that you're looking to go. And when you know, when do most people come to a coach, or at least reach out and inquire on a coach? Sadly, it is when they just are at wit's end, or they're just very overwhelmed, frustrated. They're finding themselves, you know, glued to the couch, unable to really get out and motivate themselves to take on what it is that they've laid out on their goals or their plans. And I'm even talking from a life coaching perspective because we should all have goals, you know, even that stay-at-home mom, remember, it's important for her to have goals and for her to have aspirations and things that she wants to accomplish for herself and then for her kids or for her partner, spouse, family. So it doesn't matter who you are, whether it is in business or in life, there are professionals that can help you. And, you know, if you can— and the reason for this discussion is to help you identify that opportunity before you've gotten to a place of frustration or overwhelm or depression or just wanting to give up. And so if there's any way that any of these, you know, not even just these scenarios, there are, just think about all the different challenges and opportunities and issues that go on in our life, and there's a coach out there, there's an expert, there's someone there that can, that can be part of your team, even if it's a team now of two and not just one being you, that can really be a huge value-add to your business and to your life. And that is what we're going to talk about when we get back from our commercial break. And remember, there's an opportunity for you to get your own experience in coaching, whether you've done, you know, you've had a coach before, you haven't. I want you to be able to experience coaching to see how it can benefit your life. And trust me, there's no selling. You don't have to worry about anything. It's just going to be a phone call where we're discussing you and providing you a plan, and it'll be up to you if you want further conversations with me. It won't be me— this is not a sales pitch. All right. Okay. We're going to take a break, and we'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com. Www.sheddingthebitch.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone, we are talking coaching, professional coaching. That could be a business coach, a life coach, fitness, spirituality, it could be health coach. If you need help with a particular situation in your life or you're just looking to proactively engage someone that can help you with your goals, with your plans, with the opportunities that you have in front of you, engaging, hiring a professional coach could be the answer for you. So that's what our discussion is today, wanting to really make sure that you have the information you need to understand what is coaching and what is not, all the different types, various scenarios of why people hire a coach. And now what I want to talk to you about is what you should look for in a coach, and then how to go about ensuring that during your interviewing or qualifying process you get the information that you need to make the right decision about what coach and specifically who it is that you want to hire. All right, so right off the bat, I hate to say it, But it depends. It depends on what it is that you are dealing with or looking for or what the opportunity is in front of you as to why you are going to hire a coach is what you should be looking for in a coach. Now, I will say that coaches ask a lot of questions and you do the work. So if you're looking for someone to do the work for you, then you're most likely looking for a consultant, so go in that direction. And just know that the coaches are going to ask a lot of questions. That's their function as a coach, is to ask a lot of questions, to listen, and allow you to kind of make the decisions as to where you go. And yet in the interviewing process, the qualifying process, you have to become that individual that's asking a lot of questions, in order for you to really get the information that you need. So first off, really do some homework first before picking up the phone or setting up a meeting to engage anyone. And I would even say that part of— should you choose to take on this offer that I'm going to make you in regards to a complimentary coaching session, you'll find that I'm going to shoot you an email and pick up the phone and call you and give you the same information as to what you should do before you and I would meet. So what you want to do before even engaging or qualifying a coach is to really understand what it is that you need. Not in your head, and you know I'm big on this. You don't want to just know it in your head. You want to put it down on paper. Why is it you're hiring a coach? What are your goals? What are your motivations? What are the reasons you're hiring a coach? What are those challenges or issues you're having that you feel a coach can help you with? And then even what are the opportunities you see engaging a coach might be? Because remember, it's not always about challenges or issues you're having. It could be that you're taking on a new opportunity. I'm often engaged with new leaders, people that are about to take on a new job. And so for instance, right now I have everything from someone that just took on a new senior leadership role, and so they're going from middle management to senior leadership and just want to ensure that they're doing the right things. And they were, or I was engaged through their leader, so through their boss, by choice. The individual said, I, you know, in this new role, I would really want to ensure that I'm, you know, optimizing my leadership, and therefore I would love to have a coach by my side. It could be that there is an entry-level who's now looking to become a high potential. So there's always opportunities as much as challenges or issues why you hire a coach. So make sure you understand clearly what it is you need from that coach, and then consider what you want from a coach or how you want to be coached. Now, this is really important, and it'll be easy for me to paint this picture because you can imagine if you've ever, you know, listened and engaged with me, I'm pretty much a straight shooter. I am a talker, you'll know that, but I'm also a very good listener and an excellent interviewer. So I ask a lot of really key questions. Now, I'm also kind of a no fluff. Type of person. So you need to understand how you like to be managed, how you like to be coached. If you want to be stroked, motivated, inspired, you want to be held accountable but in a way that kind of always, kind of makes you feel really good, then you might want to find someone, not a type of coach, but you might want to find a personality of a coach that would provide you that. If you want someone who is a straight shooter, very direct, hold you accountable, you know, is very articulate with a plan and helping you get to the answers that you're looking for, that other coach will help you do that too. But if you're— if it's in a more direct, no-fluff type of way, then look for that type of person. If you're looking for anything in between, You just really want to— this is a very intimate relationship that you have with a coach. The other thing— I should have had a whole section on this— the other thing about the coaching relationship is you have to come to the table willing to be vulnerable, willing to be open and transparent and to show all your beauty marks, but to show all your warts. And you have to be, you know, willing to take the feedback—good, bad, or indifferent—and look at it as constructive, look at it as growth and development, and look at it as a constructive means to the end, which is your goals. Because that's what the coach is focused on, is your end goal. But you want to find that person that you can be comfortable with, safe with, transparent with, vulnerable with. And trust me when I say not every prospect that's ever come to me I've taken on as a client, and not— obviously not every prospect that's come to me hired me as, as their coach. And it could— and 9 out of— 9.5 out of 10 times it's because of the personal connection. You need to have that personal connection. So you find the right person, personality that fits you. And then you want to really think about how would you measure whether that person is helping you or not. And again, these 3 things are your prep work before even, you know, pursuing an interview with a coach. Think about how you would measure whether they're being helpful or not. So there's ways to quantify that measurement. So if it's a business coach and you've asked them to help you, you know, with things that will drive sales, drive revenue, or drive sales, drive customer logos, meaning you've added customers to your base, that's drive social media engagement, whatever those quantifiable type of things are, then you want to make a note of it up front that you can have a conversation with them about. And then you want to come with the qualifying ways that they can help you and what you're looking for from them. It could be that you are more confident, you are more focused, you are more determined, you have more energy, you have more of a clear plan documented and, you know, moving and acting for you. So make a note of all of those ways that you would want this coach to help you and how you would measure that they are indeed helping you. Because if they are not after 30 days, after 60 days, then you should be cutting them loose and seeking alternatives because you should be expecting, expecting results. Now I will clarify what I just said in a little bit. I and many coaches will only do minimums of 3-month engagements. When it comes to coaching, especially life coaching, but even business coaching. And the reason why that is, is because like I said, obviously life is all about your emotional, mental, spiritual, physical self, and therefore it's not easy to change any of that within 30 days. Whereas a business coach who's also dealing with those things but not to the degree that the life coaches do. But a business coach might be able to help within 30 days to put a plan in place, to put priorities in place, to put a structure in place that you didn't have that then does benefit you greatly even within 30 days. So you can expect that minimum would be 30 days, but typical will be 3, 6, 6 months, and then there's many that do year-long engagements, and you just want to kind of figure all of that out. Now, you also want to do your own interviewing, like I said, because you really want to learn not only the basics like what references, what use cases or endorsements do they have. A lot of coaches, especially business coaches or leadership executive coaches, they will not reveal their actual client. They may say what type of company it is or industry or what level the company is. So for instance, 9.5 out of 10 of my clients, I don't share who specifically they are, though I will talk about, you know, why they hired me, what industry they're in, because they like to keep that confidential. They like to keep that to themselves. You might look for certifications. You might look for any other education or training that they've received. You would want to definitely ask them to walk you through their typical coaching session, not only during the session. What do they do beforehand the session? What do they do during? And what do they do after? And what are they expecting of you? So for instance, majority of coaches, and I'm half and half, will expect that the coachee you set up the meetings, you send the meeting notice, you confirm it, you actually call or you're there physically that day that the coaching session's taking place, because again, coaching is about you and accountability to you from you about the way you execute. So the onus is then put on you to then manage the coaching relationship. You might want to ask about their methodology. How do they go about their coaching process, and how do they measure success? And does it match up to what you've already determined to be what you and how you want to measure whether or not the relationship is working? You might want to ask, like I said, what they expect of you in this relationship. We've talked about that—the transparency, the vulnerability, the openness. You have to be there. You know, you don't want to be canceling on your coach. One, it's irresponsible, but two, you will be charged for it, just plain and simple. But that's another note. Now, I do want to say, based on that last comment, is the last thing you should be thinking about when you're talking to a coach or interviewing coach is how much it's going to cost, because what you would want to have done in your preparation is to also ask yourself, what would it be worth— what would it be worth if I was able to accomplish these goals I've laid out for myself in the time period that you've defined? How much would that be worth to you? How much money? How much income? How much savings? Whatever the case might be. And that is what should drive the investment decision you have on it. So what I mean by this is this: so many people will say, oh my gosh, $1,000 for coaching, maybe that's for the month. Oh my gosh, $1,000 for coaching. And yet that individual has kind of painted a picture, and I guarantee my services. So, you know, not all coaches do, but I do. So I'm going to ensure, because I don't want to lose it, I'm going to ensure that whatever we've laid out together, including the measurements for success, are going to get you that return on investment that you wanted to achieve, those goals that you wanted to achieve, and therefore there's a value to that, to you and to me. And so what you want to do is just really define for yourself, you know, how much would it cost, would it take for me to achieve my goals, and then decide if that $1,000 is way too expensive or a percentage of what it is that you're actually going to be achieving through this coaching relationship. But you don't want to make a decision solely focused on the cost of the, of the coaching, because that won't benefit you at all. All right, now we were going to talk about things to watch out for when interviewing a coach, and what I'll do there is— because we did talk about some of this— what I'll do there is I'll post that to Facebook so you have that on Facebook. And you can refer to our Shedding the Bitch page for those things to watch out for when interviewing a coach. And just simply look at it as this is a way for you to achieve your goals, to overcome your challenges, to improve on something that you want to improve on or grow something that you want to grow, and to get better at something or even to stop doing something. But there's so many ways that you can benefit. Now, lastly, email BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com and put in the subject line, "I want free coaching," and I will reach back out to you and get you the information and get you on the calendar for that free 30-minute coaching call. Again, email BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com, put in the subject line, "I want a free coaching call," and I will reach back out to you to get it scheduled. Alright, well, thanks everyone for listening to this week's program, and I'll look forward to seeing you out on our Facebook and Twitter page and right back here at noon Eastern time. Thanks everyone.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches To Riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.