Why must we hate!!! Online or in person.... damn get confident!

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572- 2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910.

Good day, good day, good day, everyone. How are you on this first Tuesday of fall? Fall is here. It is fabulous. Leaves are falling, the nuts from the trees are beginning to fall, and trust me, when that starts to happen around my house, it sounds as if there's some gun war going off in our— in my backyard and driveway. But I'm happy that it is fall, that it might one day, one day soon, become cooler because it's still 90-plus and it will be all week. But I have faith. I have faith that the clocks will continue ticking. Sadly, they'll be turned back and it will cool off. Hopefully it's a beautiful, beautiful day wherever you might be. It has been, you know, relatively quiet week. I actually have adopted the idea of not having my TV on anywhere unless I have a purpose for it. So, if you're like me, you might kind of put it on as background noise. And oftentimes when I'm writing or I'm sitting and and, you know, kind of following up on client work or whatever the case might be, or just hanging out in the house, I'll have it on whether I'm paying attention to it or not. But I have kind of, um, noticed that even if I'm not consciously paying attention to it, if there's a bunch of crap and spew going on, uh, on whatever show is airing, it seeps in and it does start to impact your psyche. So I just decided that I would just turn it off unless I have a purpose for turning it on. And when I do, it's typically comedy, or it's typically, um, like I, I'm a Dateline true crime type of fanatic. Other than that, I just can't have it around me. So it's just been a really nice quiet week without all the drama. Of what's going on out there in the world because our conversation today is going to touch on all that drama. It's going to touch on hate, and I'll describe that and talk about that in just a minute. But I need your help. I need your help. I'm even going to ask for some ideas of, you know, from you, of yours, that can not only It's more so helping me process it and deal with it, as opposed to— and not only just me, but the whole Shedding the Bitch community— as opposed to how not to do it, because that is not an area that I'm concerned about for myself. But I am definitely concerned about it for many, many, many people out there. And I know our Shedding the Bitch community are just loving people and filled with kind words. And wouldn't fall into the category of haters. So we can all use your expertise and your advice on that. And like I said, we'll get to that in a minute. So it's been a quiet week, so I'll just mention that our recent shows have been awesome and great conversations. And if you've noticed this year, what I really have been doing— and no, to the one person that asked me several weeks ago, if it's because I've been purely lazy about it. Um, what I decided to do this year, as opposed to doing a lot of pre-planning of guests and whatnot— um, and that's all fine, and I absolutely love to have guests, I love to interview people— however, this year I just have felt like I just needed to use this opportunity to deal with what's going on in my life, because I think you can relate to it, because I think it might be something that comes up for you, maybe not at this current time, but you you've dealt with it and/or you may deal with it. And so I've kind of waited to find inspiration from one week to the next in order to then make that a point of conversation with you. And no, it's not out of laziness that I haven't wanted to pre-think it or pre-set it up or pre-schedule it or find guests. I mean, you know, I have an awesome, awesome radio producer and social media guru, Deborah Parker, as you all know. And she would be obviously able to help me with all of that. I just really needed this year to be, you know, between you and I, what we are going through at any point in time in a given week. So that's what it's been all focused on. So our conversations over the last at least 3 or 4 have been about stop saying I'm sorry if you want to succeed. And that came out of my being at a, and speaking at a women's leadership summit last week and spoke to about 250 people. And there was this conversation about using the words I'm sorry, but more importantly it was the fact that anytime one of the attendees or a panelist started to speak, the first words out of her mouth was, "I'm sorry for bringing this question up. I'm sorry if I didn't understand your question," whatever, you know, so forth and so on. So I thought that that was an important conversation. Another one we had is to grab someone and bear your soul. So this was about bearing your soul and also bearing witness. Now, as an update, that conversation, if you go back and listen to that program, it was all around a lunch meeting I had with a friend and colleague, Sharon Williams, and she's been on the show previously, and we even videotaped it. So if you go to our Shed in the Bitch YouTube channel, you would be able to see our lovely faces for that interview. Actually, there might be a couple. So I was actually going to have her then come on the week after that because we both wanted to share with you our experiences of kind of acknowledging that we are mortal. That, you know, you get to a certain age, a certain point in your life, and all of a sudden you realize that, holy crap, you know, not only am I aging and to the point where I one day won't be here, but things are happening. You know, people are passing, people are getting injured, whatever the case might be. And therefore, we wanted to kind of have this very raw conversation about being mortal. And unfortunately, she was unavailable. She had to cancel due to another situation that had come up last week. And so that's where we came up with the subject about I'm sorry, but we will be rescheduling her. So you could see out on Shedding the Bits Radio on BlogTalk, the platform, that it says delayed Sharon Williams. And we'll get her scheduled as soon as possible because that will be an awesome conversation, which of course we'll have both broadcast via podcast and radio platforms, but also videotape it as well. Then, of course, we always have our Ask Me Anything, which is the first Tuesday of every month. So that'll be coming up. I believe next Tuesday is the first Tuesday of October, if you can believe it. Let me just verify it very quickly. Yes, it is. It's the first. So Ask Me Anything, and get, you know, you can prepare for it now. It's an opportunity for me to answer your questions, discuss your challenges, hear your stories, and give you some tips, advice, sometimes tough love. So if you post any of that regarding your career, your business, or your life, you can go to sheddingthebitch.com into our blog post. You can go to Twitter or Facebook on our Shedding the Bitches pages. You can email me directly at BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com. You can also, which a majority of you do, you can go to my LinkedIn profile and send me a private message, a direct message, and I will then respond to you right there, but at the same time leverage bringing you right back here, that question, and/or you if you want to, right back here the first Tuesday of every month and really drill into it and spend more time with it and also provide an opportunity for other people to learn from the question that you might have shared with me. So that's the first Tuesday of every month coming up next Tuesday. Then, oh, then what I also want to do, and maybe it will be next week during Ask Me Anything or we'll wait for another week, I want to give you, I owe you an update to my breathwork that I have been doing. So we had one of our most popular guests Catherine Carrigan on about a month ago now, and we were talking about her latest book, her 9th award-winning number one bestseller selling book, The Little Book of Breathwork. And I promised and committed right there on that program that I would spend time over the next 30 days reading the book and doing the exercises to see how it would change and how— what transformations, what shifts, uh, what results I could get from consciously focusing on breathwork. And so I want to share that with you as well. All right, so we have a lot, a lot of things to talk about, not only today but going forward. But for right now and for today, we're talking about hate. And the reason why is this: I saw— I, I, um, if many of you are familiar with the website or the app Nextdoor.com. It's awesome. And here's a plug for Nextdoor.com. It's awesome. It's your community of neighborhoods. It might be your immediate neighborhood if that's all you choose to see, or you can choose to see a cluster, a number of neighborhoods around you. And what I love about it is you can share information about what's going on in the community and/or any help requests that you might have for yourself. If a dog goes missing, if you're selling something, if you need temporary housing of any kind, if you need a handyman, if you need a referral somewhere. It's just a place to collaborate and to kind of build your community within your neighborhood or that cluster. And so I was on there, and I'm on there quite often, and one thing that I spend a lot of time doing is the minute I see a lost or found dog, I go running. And literally, physically out my door. And if a dog is found, like, roaming the streets, I don't care where it is, I will go running after to see if I can help find that dog. At the same time, if someone finds a dog and maybe, you know, they are unable to take it or keep it in, bring it in, then I will also try to help with that. Well, that post, a post dealing with that type of situation, just went completely and very quickly to hate, just full of boo. And I just wanted to share it with you and kind of share with you how I processed it and handled it. But also, if you have ideas and advice or you run across it yourself as my kind Shedding the Bits community, What would you do? Because we have to find a way, people. We have to find a way to stop the hate. And I don't care if you are able to hide behind a computer and, you know, you are typically an introvert or very insecure. You feel like you cannot stand up for yourself, but yet hiding behind a keyboard gives you that power to do so. There are so many different and better ways for you to be able to get over that insecurity, you know, become more extroverted, if you know, have more self-worth within yourself than to spew all this hate. Especially when it comes to building, you know, this neighborly community, so to speak, even if it is online. So I wanted to share that with you, but it kind of then took me to think about the conversations I have had over the past week, even with clients, but even this morning just with someone who reached out for some, some free advice. Because it all touches on people like yourselves, like myself, being confronted with these people full of hate. And, you know, dealing with it and/or hiding from it, or being broken as a result of it. And we need to figure out a way We need to figure out a way to get be past it and to turn it totally on its head toward kindness and towards, you know, being human with one another and just treating each other with respect. And that doesn't mean you can't defend, doesn't mean you can't stand up for yourself, doesn't mean you can't be like I was pissed off, but you have— it has to be done in a more kind, neighborly way. So we're going to talk about that. So your RICH question based on that topic, and for those of you joining us for the first time, I give you a RICH question to ground you in the topic that we're having, and yet I want you to kind of internalize the conversation and consider your role or your part in this topic. So that's our RICH question, and for today it's how often when you comment or reply on social posts. Are you supportive or are you hating? So, hating, because that is an awfully, awfully strong word. Hating can be, hating can be judging. It could be shooting somebody down with, you know, without having, you know, the full backstory. It could be a number of things. So if you're, if you're kind of rolling your eyes because no, you're not going on there and hating, but if you're judging or criticizing or negating someone's position or someone's opinion, then fine, don't like the word hate, but that's what you're doing. So are you supportive? And when I say supportive, I even mean that There's no reason you can't disagree or differ from someone else's position or platform, and yet ask questions for understanding, ask questions for clarity, make comments that are collaborative and supportive and seeking for understanding as opposed to just shutting somebody down. So we want to talk about all of that. So how often when you comment or reply Are you being supportive or are you being full of, you know, hating? You can witch tag or you can hashtag and tweet and Facebook with us using the hashtag #stophate or #shedthebitch. All right, we're going to take a quick break. When we get back, we're going to dive into this conversation about stopping the hate. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to ngtaxsolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker.va@gov. @gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are talking stop the hate and we're really targeting it to online, targeting it to those individuals who feel that they can hide behind a computer and spew whatever it is that they want to, uh, and yet there's such a more productive collaborative way of still having a voice, because that's why people do it, right? That's why people really, you know, get online and they start these dialogues back and forth. They want to be heard. And you can do that, and you can be heard, and you can have your voice, and you can state your opinion, and you can make your comments, and you don't have to be calling people morons or idiots or assholes or a number of other, you know, terms and words that one might use. And this touches a nerve for me right now, very raw, because it's something that just recently happened. So let me give you some backstory on this. And I actually want— because I'm going to read to you exactly kind of this dialogue that went back and forth online— and I want your honest opinion. As to whether or not even what I said was one of support or one of hate. And hate could be judgment or, or speaking, you know, poorly or whatever the case might, might be. So the situation is this: Nextdoor.com, I just mentioned that at the top of the hour, and a post was put on that said, "Yellow lab found." went on to say that this individual— it was a guy— found a healthy, intelligent yellow lab roaming the street. He has him temporarily in his backyard, and he has called animal services. Now, he has had him in his backyard for about 3 seconds at this point, and he has called animal services. I do not know about where you live, but in Atlanta— and no disrespect to animal services, you guys do an awesome job with the overwhelm and the and the amount of dogs that are, you know, abandoned, beaten, abused, dumped, turned back in, whatever the case might be. You guys do an awesome job. But, in Orlando, we also know that because of the overwhelm of animals, those places are like prisons. Overcrowded, dangerous, loud, aggressive facilities. As much as they, you know, they work to, you know, keep their numbers down, you know, in Atlanta we just have a major, major problem. And I have seen, and I have witnessed, and I have been to that facility, just what it does to any animal that is put in there, whether it is for 5 minutes or 5 days. And a very close friend of mine, actually Charlie, my old dog, for many of you who have been listening to the show for a while, His best friend— a long story, but his best friend happened to get picked up and put into animal services. He's never been the same. That's all I'll say. He's never been the same. So I quickly, because he put his phone number there, I quickly text him, call him, and post that I can come and take him to a vet to check for a chip. I went on to say I have 4 dogs here, so can't keep him,, but can help. And what I meant by keep is like permanently keep. Had I needed to keep him for a couple of days, I certainly would have done that. So I said, I can come and take him to a vet to check for a chip. And then I noted, I just tried calling you. And then, I mean, you know, there are some times where, you know, we beg and plead for city services address an issue quickly, and they typically don't, for many of you that might live in a city. Again, Atlanta is a big city. However, in this situation, the animal services was there in minutes. I am not even talking like 15 minutes. I am talking like 10. They were there in a minute. Therefore, someone came back on saying, "I just saw animal control taking them away. I sure hope someone sees this soon." soon he looks like a well-loved, happy dog. So, I went on to question, when you say animal services, what location is that? And does— would this guy, who just quickly kind of, in my view, tossed this dog onto the street, is that going to be the first place anybody who has lost their dog go? Because we call it— many people have different names for Fulton County Animal Services. So, he says, "With Fulton County Animal Services, I have no idea where the first place people look for, for their dog when they're lost." And, you know, ah, whatever. So, I come back to say, "Yes, but you do know that facility is worse than being in a prison, and he'll be forever impacted." Yes, I— and then I did go on to say, yes, I am pissed since I offered to come get him. And, and so he comes back to me and says, well, since you've already pissed, then let me piss you off some more. I have to work and don't have time for all of this. He's going to be fine, and most importantly, he's safe. He went on to— oh, I didn't— oh, I cut it. He went on to say that— calling me a moron. And if you know anything about life, life can get hectic and people just can't handle or can't deal with these type of situations. I'm going to have to pull it up because I thought I printed all the dialogue and it appears that I have not. So I replied, Robert, I hate to disappoint you, but I don't get pissed off by hate-filled comments. Not worth my energy. And that's when I stopped, stopped following, uh, the whole stream, because now it's got 53 comments of other people jumping on, you know, want ones that are saying that yes, you should have given it some more time. And allowed this individual to pick the dog up, so it wasn't put into the pound, basically, and where they're going to eventually kill it if it's not found, if the owners are not found. Sorry, I'm looking for— and then he, yes, he called me a moron. "And if he has a chip, the owner follows the site, all will end well." Well, yes, there's a lot of ifs there. If he has a chip and if the owner happens to see this posting. What floored me is when he came back and then he complained that his truck— and I'm not sure how this would happen— but his truck had muddy paw prints and deep scratches scratches all over it, calling the dog, calling the dog and the owners a couple of names that I won't discuss. So, I just was absolutely floored that a simple, you know, handout to help would send a individual down, down a deep, a deep tunnel of darkness to where he would start just inflaming on his, on his neighbors, neighbors, in such a way, even going as far as saying, don't judge me, you moron. So I just I'll throw out to you, call it stress, call it overwhelm, those are all reasons why someone might do that. But isn't there an opportunity to, that I said that I was pissed off that I could have picked him up, that obviously was the trigger for him, and yet That was just truth. And so I'd love to hear from you. Was I even wrong in telling him that I was pissed off that he didn't give me an opportunity to come and get the dog, uh, in order for him to then just be triggered into, you know, starting to throw— and this went on for 53 other, uh, back and forth with even other neighbors. So I didn't even bother to, to pay attention to all of that, but from another neighbor that I ran into at the dog park this morning. It got quite colorful, is all I'll say. But why can't we just have these discussions and debates and disagreements, and one side being even angry, without going down the path of hate speech? You know, if I, you know, my telling him I was pissed off, if he came back to me going, well, I'm pissed off because my family, blah, this happened, blah, this happened, blah. That would have all been fine. He would have actually gained some sympathy from me because I jumped to conclusions that he should be able to take a dog in, um, you know, as easily as I would. Uh, that would have been fine if he even voiced his, his, you know, anger back at me. But I do believe that it comes— there's a a line, not even a fine line, there's a line where you stop before you get into the hate speech, before you get into the judgments, before you get into ripping apart somebody who, one, you don't even know, but two, you know, doesn't deserve it. They're only just kind of expressing their, their anger, their disappointment, which is a, which is a good good natural human feeling, uh, as opposed to having to turn it into, into hate speech. Uh, am I wrong? Because if you were to say that I am, um, then that would be fine. Now I'm going to put somebody on the spot here, but Deborah, I know, uh, maybe you're out there. You might be, um, doing some other things, um, regarding the show. Are you there? I'm here, and it doesn't, it doesn't matter that I write you a check, uh, every week. But what are your—

but what is your—

what are your thoughts in regards to this?

Um, I don't agree with him, uh, calling you a moron, although I will say, looking at the, looking at the transcript that you had put up, um, I understand your frustration and that you were upset. And I don't think it's wrong that you voiced that. However, it did come off as a little passive-aggressive because you— in your part where you said— where you talked about the facility and how the dog will be impacted, you went on to say, "Thank you, so-called neighbor," and then went into why you did that.

Oh, I did say that.

I did. And that right there was probably the trigger. Yeah, I did.

You're absolutely right.

So I agree with you being able to voice your opinion and your feelings about it, and I don't agree with him— I agree with him being able to voice his. I don't think it should have evolved or devolved into name-calling, and I think it should have been more worded a little less passive-aggressively and a little more— I mean, you kind of shot the first arrow, you know.

I did?

Really?

Well, he was already upset about his truck. He was already upset about his truck. So, with the— and when I say he shot the first arrow, I'm saying with the comment, "Thank you, so-called neighbor," that passive-aggressive dig is going to come off as a trigger. You're digging at him or you're shooting at him, and so he's going to fire back. It's my opinion.

No, no, no, no, and you can have it. And certainly that's what we're here to talk about, is how people interpret what, especially when it comes to online. And I'll be the first one to smack my little hand, uh, in regards to that, in regards to that, because I actually, you know, thought I was— I actually, um, uh, was kind— well, I will say it, I thought I was cognizant that I didn't want it to go down that path because I knew he was going down that path. So shame on me, but understand now— thank you so much for that, Deborah— because everyone listening, understand that every, you know, there are different perceptions and ways people are going to take things, especially when it comes to emails, texts, or posts like this, whether it's Nextdoor, Facebook, Twitter, or whatever. And we do need to be very careful and cautious not cautious, well, careful and cognizant, aware of what it is we're writing and how it, it's being written. Because, you know, Deborah took something that I said that I'm thinking that I'm just being straightforward and just expressing my anger, and it actually was kind of one of the triggers that caused him to go down an ugly path as well. So shame on me. And, you know, and I'll only say thank you to Deborah for pointing it out, and I'm glad we actually had this conversation, and I asked her to put her spin on it because I would have just taken it as I was on the high road and this guy was on the low road, and it's not the case. So thank you for that. The point is this, guys, even for me, I'm talking to myself too now. Is we do have to be careful. This next year, year and a half leading up to the 2020 election, I am so scared of. Because forget what's gone on for the past 2 or 3, 4 years and how online communication, I'll call it, even though it's far from communication, but dialogue has just gone to hell. When it comes to all the hate, the lies, the, the just total lack of dignity, respect, humanity, um, that's been— that's gone on. And it's not going to get any better over the next number of months leading up to the election, leading up to anything. Let's even forget politics because I'm the first to say that I don't like to talk politics. At all. We just need to find, and we need to become aware, and that's why we're having this conversation about how we can be better, how we can do better. And, you know, and I need to really focus on as well now what I need to do different and better, because we have to minimize this, this speech and this handling of one another. And recognize that, yes, he could be pissed off for a number of reasons, I could be pissed off for a number of reasons, but a lot could be said and questions can be asked to understand the backstory of what's causing him to be so, um, quick about his decisions of handling, you know, this particular, you know, dog situation. And I can be more patient in trying to get that understanding and not jumping to conclusions and/or jumping to any type of triggering, which obviously, which obviously I did. So we, we can all, all do better. So, and how do we do that? In this case, before we move on to the, the other situation that happened this morning— not a situation, it was just a discussion that was had. Is that we can just recognize that we all are individuals, and every one of us have different views of the world, everyone have different opinions of it, everyone has different judgments of it, everyone are in different places mentally, spiritually, emotionally, even financial impacts people's lives. Work-wise, it impacts people's lives socially, relationships. The things that are going on in our day-in, day-out lives are impacting everything that we do and how we are going about living and how we are projecting ourselves into the world. So we need to take a deep breath and do whatever we can to stay aware, stay present, as many people will say, and stay in the moment. And as we're online viewing posts and, you know, all of a sudden hairs are rising up on your neck, or all of a sudden there's this tension in your gut, we need to kind of take breaths. And we need to ensure that if we are going to respond, that we are not only careful, but we're cognizant of how it is that we're responding. Because this is what it comes down to. Well, I'm going to save that. I'm going to save what it comes down to and what it says about us. And this, I'm including me in this. And I'm so glad Deborah pointed it out because it includes me in this. But I'm going to save that until after I tell you this next situation. That someone's dealing with that I attempted to provide some support and some tips with and for this morning. So let's take a break. Let's kind of take in what we just discussed, and let's come back and finish this conversation. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Boas' book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at media-relations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back, everyone. We're talking about stopping the hate, and we're specifically talking about that online, hiding behind, you know, the keyboard and placing judgment or spewing hate of any kind. You know, kind of sometimes people do know who it is that's saying it, and then other times people are hiding behind their profiles and commenting. And I had mentioned the situation that I had going on yesterday and today, and you can listen, listen to the program from the beginning should you want that backstory. But I want to briefly mention something, another situation that happened this morning, because it all comes down to this, and this is kind of a summary of, even for myself, a summary of why it is people hate. So this morning I happen to be having a conversation and a coaching session with someone who reached out to me, and she had mentioned that her boss kind of shot her down and made her, and made her feel like crap by stating something to the effect of, no, no one will pay you to speak, to speak. So she's a speaker or wannabe speaker, and nobody's going to pay you to speak, which kind of, she said, immediately shut her down and immediately caused her to go inward and stop pursuing that for a good period of time. And boy, did that, you know, just hit me in the gut. And many of you may experience, have experienced the same thing where someone shoots down a dream of yours, or even an idea, and that you're all excited about and pumped up about, and they just shoot it down, make you feel like crap, and you all of a sudden kind of, um, give up on it or move away from it, even if it's temporary. So this is what all of this comes down to. It comes down to what I said to her, and it comes down to the person I was. And I'm actually going to have to reassess what percentage of me, uh, and that old person still lingers on. Because what it comes down to this, when, when people are hating on other people, it really comes down to the fact that they hate on themselves. It comes down to the fact that they don't, they don't feel secure, they don't feel worthy, they don't feel valued, and they don't like themselves very much. And that's what I told her, which she all of a sudden was, was very shocked and surprised about. Was this idea that the CEO, which happens to be a woman by the way, could be insecure, could be, you know, questioning herself, feeling like a fraud, feeling she doesn't deserve that CEO role, feeling intimidated by someone else who's younger and smarter, feeling, you know, devalued, or that she's not worthy. And I said to her, I said, no, I said, it could come from the most secure appearing person. Walking around and acting as if they're, they're, they got their shit together when actually inside they're like crying to themselves, uh, for themselves. So the same with this, this, um, nextdoor.com dialogue on this lost dog, uh, that guy had a lot of crap going on in his life. But there's a difference between reacting because of pressure and stress and you don't have enough time and reacting because the fact that you really are just miserable and you're unhappy and you just, you know, are full of, you know, disgust, maybe hate. They're probably pretty harsh words, but, you know, there's a difference between saying I'm pissed off and calling someone a moron or calling someone a hater, or in my case, calling someone and making a comment like, you know, nice neighbor. In a very smart-ass, backhanded, as Deborah said, passive-aggressive way. There's a degree, small or large, of insecurity, doubt, unsure, one is unsure of themselves, negativity that one feels about themselves in those type of responses, in those type of words, in that type of behavior. So what I told this individual this morning was, so kind of pity this person, feel sorry for them. It's almost like how I responded in saying, I'm sorry, I'm not going to get pissed off because I don't kind of spend a lot of time worrying about, you know, and I don't waste a lot of energy on hate-filled conversations. So that's what I want you to walk away with is, one, consider your role and your part in kind of projecting and spewing, you know, even the smallest type of judgment, even the smallest type of comment, you know, whether it's backhanded, manipulative, or curt as it might be, or if it goes even further and it is very hurtful and filled with hate. At the same time, look at those people that might be projecting it onto you and sympathize for them. Recognize that they're hurting, because that's the only reason why that they want to hurt you. All right, so on that note, next week is Ask Me Anything, and I look forward to hearing your questions, stories, or challenges. You could do it on Facebook, Twitter, or send a direct message to me on my LinkedIn profile. And I look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Have a great week, everyone.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.