Wrapping Up 2019 with an Encore Presentation - Assessing to Success

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch. Or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910.

Good day, good day, good day everyone, and Merry Christmas Eve and Happy Hanukkah. And whatever you're celebrating, maybe it's just simply being alive. I hope you are safe and sound and enjoying your time with family and friends. I certainly am. I'm up in Philadelphia and as a result of that, gotten really busy with, you know, sharing and spending time with family, puppies, pickleball, as many of you know. And therefore, I'm gonna share with you our encore presentations of last year's kind of wrap-up episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio, and talked about assessing the year that's coming to a close and getting your head wrapped around the new year, and in this case, 2020.

And next week, we're definitely gonna dive into exactly what you could be doing to Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572- 571-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910.

Good day, good day, good day everyone, and Merry Christmas Eve and Happy Hanukkah and whatever you're celebrating. Maybe it's just simply being alive. I hope you are safe and sound and enjoying your time with family and friends. I certainly am. I'm up in Philadelphia and as a result of that, gotten really busy with sharing and spending time with family, puppies, pickleball, as many of you know. And therefore, I'm gonna share with you our encore presentations of last year's kind of wrap-up episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio and talked about assessing the year that's coming to a close and getting your head wrapped around the new year, and in this case 2020. And next week we're definitely gonna dive into exactly what you could be doing to toast 2019 and bring in the new year with a lot of power, with a lot of influence, with a lot of productivity and positivity and empowerment, and get you ready for a new year of riches and prosperity in all facets of life. So enjoy this encore presentation, and I'll look forward to talking with you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Merry Christmas, everyone. Talk to you soon.

Welcome back, everyone. And as we are working our way through this last week of 2018 and December, I just thought we would take today's episode to have a simple framework put into place for really looking back and sitting and contemplating and appreciating where you've been over the last 12 months. That way it will also, as you'll see, it will also be great input to when you're sitting down if you either— if you have or haven't already to plan out 2019. And if you're one of those people who aren't big planners, aren't big goal setters, Well, I'm going to hope to change your mind in doing that because, like anything, having a plan, no matter how detailed or how simple, is that much more effective and that much more productive for you in really knowing where you're going. So if you think about it, you know, would you really go taking a road trip without a map as to how you're going to get there? When are you going to stop, how are you going to avoid the bumps and the detours in the road, and that's what a plan would do for you as well.

And we're—

we'll get into the whole rich plan process that I use with clients in our next program. But in the meantime, what we want to do is provide some input to that new plan based on where you've been. And some people like to throw out where they've been away because they're like, well, it's in the past, it's past, and I want to be doing things differently. And to some degree, that is a fair assessment. But what you want to do too is you want to really ensure that you're giving credit, so to speak, to what really worked for you, while at the same time you're also paying attention to what didn't. So you can use all that information in your planning process. And I just go in a number of ways with my clients based where they are at this moment in time. So I'm kind of gonna give you a little bit of all the elements that I will leverage in helping them to just take that time.

It could be—

some people do this on a regular basis, so it takes them 5 minutes. To really put that input down and feed it into their future plans. If you are one who really don't set goals or don't journal accomplishments, then this could take you more time. But you deserve it. That's what this is all about is this is you time, time for you to kind of figure out for yourself what it is that you want, you don't want, where you're going and how you're going to get there. So we're going to talk about where you've been and then we're going to next week feed that into where you're going and how you want to get there. All right? So if you have a journal or your phone or whatever the case might be, the first thing I really want you to be thinking about and going back and month by month, just if you're not one to journal or make— take notes or have a calendar that would jog your memory, consider your memories. What do you remember most about this year? What are some specific events, activities, experiences, situations, good or bad, conflict or, or joyful? What are your memories from this past year? Now I mentioned month to month just because sometimes people can even if it's just mentally, tie a particular event. For instance, my birthday is in January, and of course New Year's is in January, and it's a new year, so there's a lot of memories, you know, each year for me when it comes to January. And then February is Valentine's, and I have a number of family members who have birthdays in February. My mother, who's passed now, her birthday was on Valentine's Day, and so I'm able to kind of connect some experiences and events in my life to February. And then you keep going. Again, some people will go back to their calendar, and maybe it's a business calendar, but at the same time, especially those of you who have families, children, partners, spouses, and keep a detailed calendar regarding activities and events and tasks and whatnot, you can use your calendar. Now, what's important about this is just, again, you, you know, some people want to put the past behind them, hoping not to kind of be pulled down as a result or held back as a result of where they've been. But, you know, at the same time, we don't want to be just throwing away memories. We want to kind of take some time to relish in them. And right now, Of course, there could be some hard memories, and then there could be some wonderful, lighthearted memories. And you can kind of, on your piece of paper, have a column to separate the two. And of course, you know, focusing, let's say, the left side to all the good memories that you have from the year. And again, remember what our question is: what is the theme 2018 for you? And when we get through all of this, you might all of a sudden— if even if you, for instance, when I do this, and I've started doing it, but I won't wrap up until the end of the week in my journal doing it, but I started with steady because that's how it felt for me all year. Yet at the end of the week, I might determine that it's, you know, it was peaceful, or it was calm, or I might come up with something totally different. And you might as well too. So what are those memories that you have? Now, I tend to work with my clients in kind of what I'll call a popcorn format, meaning that when I'm working with them, I'll give them a certain amount of time to do this activity, to do this assessment. And the reason why is, of course, if you're listening to this program and you want to make note of what it is that you're going to assess, and then you walk away, and maybe tomorrow or the next day you sit down and spend an hour or whatever the case might be, you won't be needing to limit the amount of time that you spend on it. But I tend to work with my clients with a kind of popcorn format, because what that means is you give them a certain amount of time, and you limit it, and you kind of make it to where it's urgent. So I might say, okay, spend the next 2 minutes focusing on the memories for 2018. Well, The reason why people do this and why I do it is because I have found that the truth rises to the top. And what I mean by that is when you're given kind of a time limit, the first thing that comes to your mind is— and the faster it comes to your mind, the more relevant, the more powerful, the more impactful that experience or memory was. And then as they're spending more time, they're actually kind of getting drained and they're kind of thinking too hard and they're overanalyzing and they're trying to pick, nitpick at, you know, I only want to have the good memories and I only want to think about the big impactful things. And we're looking for the very small to the very big, to the very easy to the very hard, to the very joyful to even the most difficult. Limit your amount of time and if you're new at this, give yourself like 3 to 5 minutes and just write down what it is, the first things that come to your mind as you work your way through 2018. What are those memories? The next thing I want you to do, and this is where most people fall short in spending any time doing it, and that's for a number of reasons, one of which is a lot of people, even when they're working with themselves on a particular activity like this, like this assessing process, is that they don't want to come to seem too boastful or conceited or, you know, self-centered. And yet I have to tell you, especially all of you ladies, is we need time to honor ourselves. And I call it honor your riches. We need time, and we should, and we deserve to take time to kind of say good job, you know, and congratulations, and wow, that was awesome. And that's what I want you to do with your accomplishments. I want you to think about, as you've gone through the year, what are those things that you've set out to do, whether it was planned or not, and that you've accomplished over, you know, 2018. It could be, for instance, you know, January came along, I had my 2018 plans laid out, no clue no idea that all of a sudden I would be doing Weight Watchers, and I would all of a sudden have this goal that I wanted to lose 25 pounds. And then as a result of doing Weight Watchers, I wanted to start making sure I'm getting back into the gym, so I laid out a pickleball, playing pickleball plan to get physical activity. And so all of a sudden my goals from the month earlier were getting changed, you know, and I accomplished my weight goal and I accomplished, you know, getting a steady schedule when it comes to pickleball. I had some business goals— number of clients, number of events I wanted to hold, number of sponsors— and so, you know, and a number of those I accomplished. So what are those things, personal or business, work, overall life, maybe it's about money, maybe it's about your spirituality, maybe it's about your physical activity, maybe it's about your health, maybe it's about finances, whatever the case might be. What did you accomplish in this past 12 months? And then what I want you to do there is I want you to stop there and I want you to give yourself 5, 10 minutes, whatever the case might be, look over your memories and then look over your accomplishments and really say, "Great job, kudos, congratulations," high-five yourself, whatever the case might be. This isn't for anybody else other than for you. But you deserve to take time to congratulate yourself on what it is that you accomplished. Now, for those of you who may not have a lot in the accomplishment column, You know, don't fret about that either. Maybe you didn't set out, you know, consciously with any initial goals, and if you did, maybe, you know, they— you're still working them and they haven't been accomplished yet, and/or you're not at a point where you're appreciating even the smallest of accomplishments, and you're thinking at this point, as you're doing this assessment, you're thinking that they have to be big things, and they don't. They don't. One, you know, one thing one of my clients wanted to work on is she just wanted to feel comfortable talking to strangers. Now, for some people that's huge, and for other people that's like, you know, they'll go, "What? What do you mean? I mean, it's easy to talk to strangers." For her, it was big, and yet that was the one thing that she kind of came at the top of her head at the beginning of the year. You know, when I asked, what did you want to— if, you know, if January 1, 2019 comes around, what is it that you want to look back on and say you've accomplished? And she said, being comfortable with strangers. And I thought, okay, then let's go for it. Or, you know, and it's really her going for it, but I'd be there to kind of guide her. So what are your accomplishments? You have your memories, you have your accomplishments. Give yourself time to appreciate them. And congratulate yourself. Maybe you even say, you know what, I'm going to treat myself to a new outfit, some ice cream, to a night out, maybe to a date, whatever the case might be. All right, just give yourself that opportunity to appreciate what it is that you've done and accomplished. Now, the next area, and there's a reason for my separating those first two to this next one. So the next area is what did you learn? Maybe it's lessons you learned, or maybe you learned something new about yourself, or maybe you learned something new about somebody else, whether it was good or bad, or you liked it or didn't like it. But what are those things that you learned this past year? And now this is a harder one for people, yet, you know, as long as we're above ground, we should always want, you know, be trying to learn something. Now it doesn't mean it has to be a new skill or a new task. It just might be that you learn something about yourself that you didn't know before, or you learn something about somebody else. Or maybe you did start— like, I learned pickleball. I learned— well, actually, the last couple days I've been playing ping pong. And again, what this is all about is really appreciating what has kind of come up to the top, rose to the top, and shifting where you were at that very point in time and shifting you in a different direction. So when it comes to maybe there was some big business challenge that came up or business project that came up and it was challenging or it taught you a new skill or something new about yourself on how you handled that, that, that task or that project or activity. But maybe it was that something happened where there was conflict or something not completed properly, and you had to kind of learn from that. That— I don't like to call them mistakes, but mistakes, missteps, whatever you might want to call them. Maybe you learned something, as I did this past year, about someone that you've kind of sensed about them and not necessarily a good thing, and you just kind of had it validated for yourself, and it really shifted how you looked at that person and how you looked at your partnership or friendship or relationship with that person, and then you decided to either move on from it or enhance and enrich it. But what are those lessons learned or those things that you learned this past year that kind of put you in a different place and, you know, brought you forward in more understanding, more awareness, more, you know, introspection, whatever the case might be. And while at the same time looking at, okay, what are those things that maybe got out of my control and that taught me a lesson that I definitely will carry forward. And, you know, if you're like most people, they don't want to make the same mistake twice, but they want to definitely replicate what, you know, any benefit or any value that they found from a certain situation or experience. So your lessons learned. All right, so we've talked about memories, we've talked about you laying out your accomplishments, and And we've talked about lessons learned, or those things that you've learned over the past 12 months. Right now you should really be either, you know, like I said, some people go month to month, some people see things in big, you know, big gotchas, or big wows, or big, you know, hoorays from the year, not necessarily linked to any particular week or month, and then some, see it as kind of in their function. Maybe it is at work, maybe it is in the family, maybe it is in the community, maybe it is about money, maybe it is about their spirituality, whatever, their health. So there's all those buckets that they can put it in. It doesn't matter how you go about assessing, just that you assess and you really consider that you've been above ground for 365 days and hopefully growing and expanding, and that's what we want to each focus on as we look back before we then start moving forward. We're going to take a quick break. When we get back, I'm going to give you some additional things to kind of look at that will help you really appreciate 2018 as we go and look forward to 2019. So we'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon, sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to ngtaxsolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium size businesses. Email deborahparker@parkerhouseservices.com. Deborahparker.va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone on this special winding down 2018 episode. I can't, I can't just get over the fact that we're 12 months into that year and that we're about to embark on a new year because it also means that 30 days later, it's another year of my living on above ground, and that just is flooring me that I'll be 57. The other day I said I was 55 and was immediately corrected, and it was obviously about 2 years correction that was made, and I just kind of like gasped for air, you know, just not horrified, but just shocked, shocked at just how quickly life goes. And I would always say to you that life goes really, really fast. You only get one of them, so, you know, appreciate it and make the best out of it. And that's what this program's about, is really making sure that we just don't rush our way through January 1st and raise our glasses to toast the new year, but we also take some time and breath and appreciation for the year we just put in. Because I don't know about you, but I work really, really hard. I play hard. I love hard. And I want to be sure that I'm giving thanks to the good and to the bad, to the easy, to the hard, to the highs and the lows, to the joyful and the pain. Just appreciating all of it because it has made me who I am right now at this very moment. And the same would be for you, is everything that's happened to you up until this very moment made you who you are right now. So what we want to do is we talked about memories, accomplishments, and lessons learned, really thinking through those three elements, so to speak, as to what you've done in the past 12 months. And also asked you, as you looked at your memories and accomplishments, to take time to congratulate yourself, to thank yourself, to thank those, you know, around you. Not literally, unless you, you know, feel compelled to do so, but just to really take time to honor the riches in life that you've been through, that you've earned, and that you deserve for sure. What I want to talk about now is just to give you some other things to think about and look at from the last 365 days. Because all of these things will then help you feed your 2019 goals, your 2019 plans, your dreams, your wants and don't wants, so to speak. So, as you're making note and working your way through each of these things, this series of questions will help you to, kind of give yourself more things to think about to ensure that you're looking at all the 360-degree view of your world. Or 180, it would be. So the first thing that, and all of these things, just as an FYI, all these things are things that I work with my clients directly to also do, whether they're business clients, 'cause I do a lot of leadership coaching, as all of you know, or their personal clients. I'll do just as much life coaching or personal development coaching. So these are things that I also have them either with me, they're doing them, and I mentioned earlier, uh, if you have listened since the top of the hour, uh, that we— I'll, I'll walk through them in a popcorn format type of way And why it's called popcorn format, I should have mentioned that earlier, is because if you think about how popcorn pops, it's just really fast and quick. And so that's how I kind of work with my clients because I want them to not overanalyze, not overwhelm themselves, not start draining their energies towards something because most of the time as you're answering these questions, for yourself. If you're only given a really short period of time to do it, you're going to almost, you know, in an urgent matter, you know, have the truth rise to the top, as I'll say, is the most relevant truthful things will come up first, and most likely they're the most powerful as well. So that's how you can look at doing this. If you're, apart from sitting here on the program listening, if you then walk away and, you know, later in the week, next week, you sit down and want to do the— spend the time. Put a timer on yourself. Use your phone. You know, use a timer if you have one in the kitchen, so to speak. But time yourself and give yourself only a certain amount of time. And depending upon if you've been assessing and goal setting for a long time or not at all is how much time you'll spend in this in this and how impactful it will be for you. I could spend 5 minutes doing this now because I do it all through the year. Or I have clients that will take an hour to do it. I have clients that need to kind of see what it is that they're going to do, walk away overnight and think about those things, and then come back and document and kind of systematically go through it. There's no right or wrong. The only thing I would warn anybody about is if you are giving yourself too much time, if you are walking away from it and not really kind of constraining yourself into, you know, completing each one of these areas that we're talking about, they'll tend to fall through the cracks. They'll tend to stop the assessing, stop the planning. And all I can tell you is those people that do plan and set goals and even assess where they've been, they are a lot more productive and successful in achieving the goals that they have for themselves. So let's walk through each one of these. So the first thing I want you to think about and what you could do is on a— in your journal, on a piece of paper, however you do it, you can, you know, draw a line down the middle so you have two columns. And on the left side, I want you to write what made you— what made me happy this year. And on another side, it's what brought you down this year, or what didn't make you happy, or what drained you, whatever the case might be, on the right-hand side. So, what made you happy and what brought you down? And again, You want to be thinking about both of these things because one of them is going to tell you what you want in your life, and one of them is going to tell you what you don't want in your life. And that question will be coming up in a minute or so. After you've done that, and again, if you kind of constrain the amount of time that you're not kind of overanalyzing, things might pop, as I say. Pop as to what really stands out for you, even though maybe you haven't necessarily grounded yourself in what it is that made you happy or what really kind of drained you. And those things are going to be important pieces of data that will help you determine what you want this coming year. So, what made you happy? What brought you down? Then I need you to answer in each of those columns, for each one of those things that you wrote, whether it's 1 thing or 10 things, why? What is it about whatever the situation, the person, the experience was, why did it make you happy and why did it bring you down? So like my, what made me happy is losing not only the 25 pounds but the 28 pounds. What made me happy was learning pickleball and getting back to a physical activity, you know, and why for both of those is, well, one, I now feel and know that I'm a lot healthier. My blood pressure's come down. I'm active. I'm in a social environment now. Those are all my kind of whys and what it is that kind of helped those things make me happy. And then what brought you down is You know, one would be a very kind of stressful friend. One would be the ups and downs of finances and why those things are. You know, I then go and explain those things as well. So what made you happy this year? What brought you down and why? Then what I want you to be thinking about is who, who brought joy into your life this year and who drained your spirit. So in the previous question, the what made you and what brought you down should be more about, um, not necessarily the person, um, even though it could be a person. Like I had mentioned, a friend that drained me this past year. Um, the what of that would be kind of the negativity, the, um the insults, the competitiveness, those type of things. And then I would answer the who tied to that what. Make sense? So who brought joy into your life and who drained it? And again, a why could be used here as well, but at the same time, even a what could be used here as well. What was it about that person that brought you joy? What was it about that person that drained you? And that'll give you some clarity there as well. The next thing I want you to be thinking about is what would you do differently going forward? And what would you keep doing? I probably should switch those around since we're doing some kind of positives and some negatives. Maybe missteps left to right. So on the left side, what would you keep doing the same going into the next year? And on the right side, what would you do differently next year? Now if you think about it and look at all those things, they're data points that will help you with your 2019 planning. So you have your memories, you have your accomplishments, you have your lessons learned, You have what made you happy and why, what brought you down and why, who— what you would keep doing, what would you do differently, who brought you happiness, who drained you. And all those data points will definitely feed into your 2019 plan regarding your goals, your dreams, your life purpose, your legacy. Your rich plan. And that's what we'll go over in our Ask Bernadette episode next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. And if you have any questions, comments, or stories, or a situation you want me to address on our Ask Bernadette episode, then just go to our Facebook or Twitter page, Shedding the Bitch, and put it out there, and I'll make sure that we address it not only right then and there on those sites, but also here on Shitting the Bitch Radio. Thank you everyone for a wonderful 2019. I look forward to having you right back here in our Shitting the Bitch community for 2020. And stay tuned for next week, we're gonna be talking about getting into the 2020 spirit with your goals and your plans. Until then, have a beautiful, beautiful Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or whatever it is you may be celebrating.

Talk to you soon.

Bye. Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.