Write Your Story That Draws People In with Allison Langer and Andrea Askowitz

Are you in life? It's time for Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negativity so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches in life you deserve. So let's welcome your ball of fire host, Bernadette Boas.

Good day, good day, good day everyone, and welcome, welcome, welcome to another awesome episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV. Because we're broadcasting across multiple platforms, all of your podcast streaming services, and Shed the Bitch TV on YouTube. And today we're going to be talking about how to write your story, your personal story, in such a way that it draws people in. I also need to thank our sponsors. Um, our NG Tax Solutions sponsor, who's been with us for a good number of years, provides full-service financial and tax services needs all over the country. And Debbie Snelling and her team do a fabulous job. I've been working with her close to a decade, and she will do the same for you. So if you have any individual or business financial and tax services needs, please reach out to her at ngtaxsolutions.com. Also, I've been telling you over the last several weeks, I am so proud to have a local, more Atlanta, Georgia, uh, sponsor, and that's up top Roofing of Atlanta. Uh, Jay and his team, they've been part of my posse, so to speak, for the last 6 or 7 years and has been part of the Shedding the Bitch community, unbeknownst to me, for about 4 years. And he's finally come to me and over the last several months and said, hey, I love what you're doing in the Shedding the Bitch community, I would love to support you. So Jay and his team provide obviously roofing, gutters, home services needs, and has a fabulous and very dedicated and loyal staff. So I'd love for you to reach out to him at up-toproofingofatl@yahoo.com. All right, let's get into this subject, shall we? Because you all know how much I love talking about, or helping you also, to really dig into your personal story. But I'm not the expert. Our ladies of today are. So we're going to be talking about how writing class radio believes that sharing the truth unleashes a power and a vulnerability that attracts people and success. Our guest today will give tips on how to find the story that opens the hearts and minds of others and frees you from secrets and the damage they cause in all aspects of life. So I want you to be listening for several things. I want you to be listening to how you can find your story., and then they're going to discuss with us where to begin, because I'm sure that's one of your questions. And then what details to include or not to include, and what makes people really get drawn in for your story. And then lastly, we're going to make sure you get some resources to walk away with, um, so you can leverage that, including all the information about our great guests. Now we have a bonus today. We have two guests today. We have Allison Langer, who is a Miami native, University of Miami MBA, writer, and single mom to 3 children ages 11, 14, and 16. She is a private writing coach, taught memoir writing in prison, and has been published in the Washington Post, Mutha Magazine, Scary Mom, Ravishing, and Modern Loss. Allison's story and her voice can be heard on Writing Class Radio a podcast she produces and co-hosts, which has downloaded more than 650,000 times. Andrea Oskowitz is a storytelling missionary and believes stories will heal the world. She's the author of the memoir My Miserable Lonely Lesbian Pregnancy. She's written for the New York Times, Salon, the Rupus, the Huffington Post, Glamour, New York Aeon. I hope I'm pronouncing that properly. The writer, NPR, and PBS. Andrea co-produces and co-hosts the podcast Writing Class Radio. Welcome, ladies! Hey, you are so enthusiastic! Oh, I am just like so excited. I love this subject because I spent 12 years digging and purging and excavating my soul And so I could use your help, and I know a lot of our listeners and viewers could do the same. So before we get there though, and we've had some conversations before we, um, jumped on here, but share with us and the— and our listeners and viewers, who are you? Allison, why don't you start? Give us some like get to know you, trust you, like you, do with you.

Yes.

You're right, let me shed the bitch. I do need to shed the bitch, although I kind of embrace my bitch.

Yeah, don't shed it.

Yeah, thank you, that's so nice for my partner. My business partner is telling me not to shed it.

Yeah, well, it depends upon if you know what the term bitch means in my world. It's your fears, insecurities, and negativities. That's what your bitches are in my world. So that's what you're shedding is those things, so then you can embrace that bitch within you.

Yes, I love it.

Yeah, but this is about you. So Allison, share a little.

So I was a photographer when I decided I was going to start writing. I had like gone through a bunch of stuff, you know, right at that moment I had just lost a child and I was trying to figure out how the hell do I climb out of this? And I happened to see here on NPR a class advertised, a writing class advertised by some woman I did not know. And I was like, uh, okay, I think I'm just gonna sign up. And for the first, I don't know, 2 months, I wrote about my dog. I couldn't get vulnerable. I didn't want to share. I didn't want anybody to see what was underneath a facade that I thought was working for me. And I met Andrea. She was the teacher, and she pulled out all that, uh, well, I want to say it's the inner bitch, but it was the fears, this all that stuff that you just mentioned, through writing, I was able to write my way out of it so I could really embrace who I really was and be okay with it.

Awesome, awesome. And you're in Miami, which many people are jealous because it's, you know, in various parts of the country it's miserable. So yeah, I'm feeling your sunshine. I'm feeling your sunshine. Andrea, how about you? Where are you calling from? And tell us a little bit about yourself.

I am also in Miami. Yep. And I started after college, I wanted to save the world. Like that was sort of my mission. And I went to grad school to get to make that happen, to be better at it. And I was just talking to my daughter about this, how, who's 18. And basically she's like, she doesn't like anything. Like she's interested in nothing. And I am also interested in very little. And I was in grad school trying to get a public policy degree, and I took a class that forced us to do writing and speaking every week. It had nothing to do with public policy except for that everyone in the program sucked at writing and speaking. And it was the one class that I really loved. And I just, from there, just kept writing. I wrote a novel that I shoved away. I wrote another thing that I shoved away. And I ultimately, I was still trying to save the world when I took a memoir class. And I went to this class over and over again. And it was like the one class that was the one thing that I really enjoyed. I got pregnant on my own. I was completely miserable. And in that class, I wrote my miserable, lonely lesbian pregnancy sort of in real time. Like I brought it to class. And then I learned in that class that like sharing and telling the truth was really— it was really like the only thing that mattered to me, and maybe the only thing that matters.

Liberating. It's so liberating. God, yeah. Shading the Bitch came from my memoir, Shedding the Corporate Bitch.

Okay.

Shifting from bitch to rich in life and business. And it was the most liberating thing I ever, ever, ever did. Did just It is. Yeah. Well, okay. So that's how you both kind of came to writing, walked into writing, and now it's so much your core, core focus. Um, what then made you kind of transfer or move into the space of a podcast to where you're creating, well, you know, Writers Class Podcast, and what is the core purpose of it?

Well, we just loved our writing class and love our writing class so much. And Allison was like one of those students that kept coming. She like every semester signed up again and signed up again. And when I was teaching a class here in Miami and we were playing tennis one day talking about, hey, we should write a book. And I was like, book, ugh. Books are too difficult. Fuck that. No one's going to read it. And then we came to this, to get this, this idea that we could create a podcast. And what our initial idea was, was to like kind of give the feeling of people. We wanted people to feel like they were sitting in on our class because we love it so much. We want the whole world to take it.

Right. Right.

And it's evolved a little bit. I think it feels a bit like a class, but it more probably just feels like a sharing of a great story and learning how you can write a great story. Yeah, that's what it's evolved into.

And we're definitely talking about that because I know, you know, our community definitely wants to, uh, you know, do that more and more and more because they realize that we have to connect in such a way that people like, know, trust, so they'll do with us is what I share with them. Um, so Allison, and, uh, forgive me, uh, when did you start the podcast?

2015 is when we started it, right? Wow, yeah, October 2015.

Yeah, very nice, very nice. So what would you say kind of, um, then helped you say, well, we can coach— and I don't know if you would consider it coaching or training people how to write their own personal story, because quite honestly, we, we get inside our heads so much you know, when we're just trying to purge ourselves, we're like, we can't— how do we transfer this to somebody else? So what should somebody understand when it comes to writing their own personal story?

Um, I think because I did— it took me forever to be able to really unload that one story that sort of led the way. It opened the gates for all the other stories. And I do believe most people have one at least, and mostly more, right? Um, there's those things that kind of block you, you're afraid for people to hear, you think you're— people aren't going to like you, or they're going to not think you're strong enough or smart enough or anything like that. But what ends up—

like your coming out story. Yeah, but in every coming out, either as a drunk or as a— anything.

Absolutely.

Yes.

And so what I found was instead of people going, oh God, what is wrong with that lady, they were like, wanted to hang out with me, wanted to take writing classes with me, and we all just bonded, you know. I mean, Andrea makes a joke of it that I did sign up, but I wasn't the only one. We all did. We were like obsessed with like just being there. And you know, our teacher— and our teacher who also shared her stories, right, her classes, we also share with our students. So it's not like we sit on a pedestal. We share our imperfections and our vulnerabilities too, right? So I think it helps people to understand, like, okay, I'm not alone and I have a story to tell. And what they find, and I have found, is that it starts pulling everyone closer and they look up to you. So people were like, okay, can you help me with my writing? And so it kind of just evolved. I had somebody call me and say, will you come teach at a seminar?

Nice.

And so it just sort of evolved. And then we realized people were like, well, can you do these more often? Can you do a class in this? And they started asking and we started, okay. Let's do it, let's do it. And then it got to be so much, we split up a little bit and she would teach one and I would teach the other. And so now we have this great system where beginners can write with us every Tuesday from 12 to 1 Eastern time called First Draft. Then there's like another class they can evolve into, which is Second Draft, if they wanna try to work on their story, which we always suggest because it's not just about unloading it. It's about working through it. Why are you writing this story? Why is this important now? What's coming up for you? How can you, you know, look into what your position was in that whatever situation is happening? And then we also have a final draft where people are really trying to like submit or write memoirs and they're really trying to get better and better. And that's sort of like our old group, right, Andrea? The one that I was in.

Totally.

Yeah. And the same people, we only have 8 or 10 spots and they never open, rarely.

Right, Final Draft is filled with the same people every semester.

Nice. Now, how long would it take someone to move from First Draft, which I hope is a sponsor of yours? If you don't know First Draft as, as a screenwriter's tool, you should know it because it should be a sponsor.

But write that down, Andrea.

I've got it. Yeah, that's a great idea.

Okay, I'm full of them. So how long does it take to go from First Draft to Second and then Second into, you know, into that final draft?

Not long.

I mean, I don't, I don't really understand your question. I mean, anyone can come to First Draft and that's open to the entire world. And then as soon as there's an opening in Second Draft, anyone can jump in.

Well, more not, not necessarily from a program perspective, but from a writing process. Like, how long would you, um, how long would you say that it takes somebody to really work through kind of their first draft, um, and then they move on to where they're either rereading it themselves and, and working on it, or they're sharing it with others and letting, or they're hiring someone to. So how long would you say it takes them to move through to a final draft to where they, they might not publish it, but at the same time it's kind of like, ah, yes.

If you listen to the edits and you actually make the edits and you put the work in, it doesn't take very long. I'm thinking, I don't know, a couple weeks, a month. I mean, like, I've seen writers who come to First Draft and they, they don't want to share, but they end up sharing sometimes just because everybody else is sharing. They're like, well, let me, let me try this. And they come back with like another story even better the next week because what's happening is, is they're following— within our First Draft, we write for a little bit, but then we also 3 people get to share and get— receive feedback.

Nice.

So if you listen to that feedback, like, more details, like what, and you then incorporate that into your writing, before long you're, you're wanting to improve and get to second draft where you can get even more feedback, right? So that's really how it is. I think I do understand the question though.

Yeah, and that's it. I didn't expect there to be like a, like, you know, a specific timeline, but I was just curious as to where you see these individuals progressing and how quick or slow, you know, they progress into really kind of getting to that point where they have a final draft?

I definitely see people getting much, much better at a first draft. You do learn to— when you're just dumping out of your brain, you learn to go to scene from practicing it, right? It's like somehow it just comes out that way more naturally as you practice.

Right.

So, I mean, I have been practicing for 23 years and my first drafts sometimes are total diarrhea. Yeah. But sometimes I'm like, wow, I really nailed the scene.

Yeah.

And it sort of happens kind of magically in a way, like when I'm not thinking about it, when I'm not editing on the first draft.

Yeah.

But then the process for me is I will take from my handwritten draft, and type it into the computer, and then I'll type it again, and I'll rework it, and I'll rework it. I'll print it out. I'll like, I'll write all over it. I'll rework it. I'll say it out loud. I'll send it to Allison. I'll bring it to my second draft class if it's my turn.

Right, right.

So it probably takes me, and sometimes if it's a really big kind of epic story, it might take a month or two. And sometimes I have to put it away. Well, I mean, I'm creating like a work of art.

Month is like extremely fast for me. I'm a slow processor when it comes to my, you know, my writing. So yeah, that's amazing.

Some of my stories have taken years.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, but I'm just talking about when I'm like really in it, right? And Alison's faster than I am and other people, but I sometimes I have to put it aside. And this is what I see other people in our classes do too.

Yeah.

Work on it, work on it, put it aside, bring it back, and in a month or two, final draft ready to send out.

Yeah, nice. So, so someone's listening or watching and they're like, I don't have any stories. Like you, you mentioned earlier, Allison, I don't have any stories. How do you help them kind of acknowledge and identify the stories of, of their life that they could use in their writing?

Well, there's a bunch of ways. Number one, you can just You could look on our website. There's lists of prompts. That's one way. I mean, if you're, if you're just trying to, like, when I sit down with a college kid, like a kid trying to apply to college, I really try, they really only have a very short, like a short life, right? They have 18 years and they're trying to draw like one thing they learned, right? That they can show to a college. And I get it right by talking to them. Who are they? What kind of person are they? You know, so I do a little talking to them and discover, and then I give them a prompt. Oh yeah, well, write about that vacation. Or how did it feel when your sister did this? Like, write about that moment that you realized you wanted to be a dermatologist. Like, you know, whatever it is. But I think in our classes, we start with a prompt. And so, and they never have to listen to it. And so it's not like an answer. They don't get 100% if they answer the prompt. That's really just to start your memory. Sometimes I'm about to start class and I'm thinking of a prompt. I'm looking outside and I'm like, Leaves.

I know.

You picked a flower. You know, like, it's just these things.

Yeah. People think that prompts are like this magic tool, but really they're just brain joggers. Right now, though, I want to put out that Writing Class Radio has put out a call for submissions, and the prompt is, everyone's made a mistake.

Right.

What is yours? So we want to know, only one mistake, your worst mistake. Yeah, we want the story of your worst mistake, the time that you fucked up the worst.

Yeah. And again, one—

you know how some mistakes change the path of your life?

Oh, absolutely.

So right now we're running a prison series where I taught writing in prison, and we're taking these guys and, um, sharing their stories. And they really are sharing like mistakes they've seen happen in prison, mistakes they made getting to prison. And so we judge them, and it's so easy to judge other people when we've made a lot of terrible mistakes, and either we weren't caught or somebody bailed us out. But what were they? Let's hear.

Yeah, but wait, before— okay, I want to say that, um, that if you do have a story that you want to submit about your biggest mistake, we have submission guidelines on our website. We typically want about 1,200 words. And the story just has to be true and go to our guidelines at writingclassradio.com. The other thing I want to— what?

No, go ahead.

They're all like competing with each other. I know, because there's so many tips on our podcast. So like, I mean, on our website, if you want to write and you have— say you're a business person and you want to write your story, you're in real estate, you're in whatever, and you're dying to write a story that tells everybody who you are, brings them into your personal side without maybe getting too, too, too, too vulnerable.

Right.

You don't have to tell them, You know, what stuff you don't want everyone to know, but there are certain things that people bond with.

Sure.

And so there are tons of tips on our website for anybody.

When do we tell someone not to get super vulnerable? Don't we?

Yes. No, I have. I've said if you don't want to talk about a rape that happened, or you don't want to tell all your coworkers about your first marriage 25 years ago, don't bring it up.

When I was writing my— when I was writing Shading the Corporate Bitch, Uh, I was, I was handing them over to an editor. I was, I automatically had somebody on my team already. I wanted it to get kind of move fast. And all of a sudden she calls me and she's like, hey, what's up? What's up? She's like, why aren't you writing? I'm like, I'm writing. She's like, I haven't gotten anything in like 3 or 4 weeks. I'm like, but I'm writing. She goes, no, you're not. Come to me, come to the Chick-fil-A down the street, we gotta talk. So she's like, what's going on? What, like, because you were so consistent and so She's like, what's happening? And I'm like, well, I've reached a point of my story that I'm scared to tell because of course my family, you know, and everybody's going to read it. And, um, she's like, but isn't that the reason why you said you wanted to write this book, is because you wanted to share your story and help others? And I'm like, yes. She's like, then you need to push through it. And I was just like, okay. But there, there is like a There is, you know, things that I definitely didn't go all in on. And now today I'm writing my— the sequel, and it'll be everything. I'm an open book.

But anyway, who was it that always says write about the things you don't want to write about? I always ask you this.

Um, it's—

it's—

I know, write about the thing you don't want to write about. It's Ann Hood, I think, said that.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, he's a great teacher and writer.

Yeah.

Yeah, and the same thing happened to me when I first started, and now people are like, are you sure you want that out there? And I'm like, whatever, I don't care anymore, right?

For the 5 people that are going to like, you know, that know me, or in my case, you know, I do have a big family, but you know, yeah, you can't, you know, you, you want to live this one life fully, right?

You know, truthfully, the fear, the fear of what people will think of our writing is always, always, always comes up in writing class. And what I want to say to that is it's so important just to write it, then start worrying about it when it's— when you're about to get published. But now just write, just write even the most vulnerable thing.

Well, because the one thing that I loved that you both of you address, and you can speak to it if you would, when I read, you know, when I read something about you coming on to the show, was the fact that you also want to write it. I think— oh, actually, I think I did it in the intro. You also want to write it just to even release and to free yourself and to kind of just, you know, kind of let go of anything that might have been holding you back, you know, in your past. And, you know, so it doesn't necessarily have to be shared, but just write it. And then, like you said, you can worry about it when it comes to the publishing and other things. I love that.

Yeah, well, we also don't say just write it, we say write and revise it. Because what happens when you get back to it and you reread it and you add things, you're forced to ask yourself why, how, all those really hard questions so that you can grow from it.

Yeah, yeah, I love that, I love that.

There are so many amazing benefits of writing, just writing and writing and writing and then revising. Because when, even if you're doing it just for yourself and you've written the most vulnerable thing that you've ever considered, when you go to revise it, already that vulnerable thing carries less weight because you've already put it down on paper. It's now, you're, now you're studying it as an, as an art piece.

Love that.

You know, there's a distance.

Yeah.

There's, so now is it getting, is getting it on paper, is that the first place where they begin, or is there something that they should really be kind of constructing or structuring You know, is that the—

there's no homework. No, just come to the class on Tuesday at noon, listen to the prompt, and write, write without thinking.

Right, right, right.

That's how you get started.

Okay, so that— well, that's, that's it right there that I was looking for, is write without thinking. Just, you know, not necessarily even showing up or whatnot, but just write without thinking.

And, and that's a practice. It's hard to get to that.

Well, well For me, it's impossible to not edit when I— while I write, you know. I have a good friend of mine, she can write a book like you. She could write a book in like a novel in a month. And here, you know, because— and she just— she doesn't re— you know, she writes it, but then she edits it. I mean, it doesn't get published in a month, mind you, right?

Right.

But she doesn't, you know, go back and edit and make sure everything's perfect. I have that problem. I have that problem, so you all are not alone out there.

I actually have that problem too. Yeah, I have that problem too. I have a really hard time just writing without editing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and writing quickly, but I practice it every single week. Yeah, and some weeks I get it right, right?

Get a prompt and then just write, write without thinking. I love that.

So I want everyone to get the prompt biggest mistake right now. And just set a timer for 15 minutes, 20 minutes, and go. And just write without stopping. And don't even stop moving your pen.

Yeah.

I like writing by hand. I think that there's something about it that feels less composy. It just feels like I'm not trying as hard. I'm just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Right. I'm a journal writer as well. And I— yes. So I have like probably 7 of them right down here at my feet right now.

Yeah.

So what would you say someone— and we're talking about how to write your personal story in such a way that it draws people in— what would you say that people can include and what should they exclude from their writing? Is there any kind of dos and don'ts that you have in that regard?

I think the first thing is tell the truth. Just write down the truth. And connected with that is do your best to write like you speak because then you're writing the truth. So just pretend that you're writing a letter to your friend. Yeah, like the biggest mistake I ever made. Dear Allison, I just made this really big mistake and you won't fucking believe it. I was such an asshole that it is like that. And now I'm already being true to who I am just in my writing and then keep going.

Yeah, that's finding your authentic— Allison, finding your authentic voice. Do your writers struggle with that, to, to, to not like kind of structure it and formalize their language, but you know, it just be their true self? Do, do your— you—

it only takes one time they share it, and I, and I'm pretty brutal with my criticism. I mean, with Andrea too, even You know, and I have to remember that new people who come to class and maybe need a gentle hand, but I'm like, you don't speak like that. You— are you trying to be writerly? Are you trying to sound intelligent? Like, what's going on here? Because it doesn't sound like you. And they never do that again.

Yeah.

So it only takes one time. But I will tell you all here, I'm going to have a confession here. The first time I found out about Andrea's class, I texted her or emailed her and I said— and this was, mind you, this was like 11 years ago. I said, um, hi, I saw your class advertised. It's something I really want to do, but I just, I have a lot of appointments scheduled and it's just going to be, you know, it doesn't work for me, the schedule. And Andrea said, um, cancel them and take my class. And when I got there, I started writing and I was like, God, I don't want this lady to think I'm an idiot. So I was trying to use big words and she's just like, you know, I don't understand that word.

Was I like that? Was I like, I don't understand that word, what?

And she went to Penn. She's no stupid. She's not an idiot. Like, she's very— like, when people try, unless they are that type of person who's constantly like, um, using the big words, you know, the type, but most people are not. And so it comes across as pretentious and nobody wants to read it and they're not drawn to you. So you—

and whenever I try to use a big word that I don't usually use and I send my draft to Allison, she's like, she crosses it right out. She smells She smells it a mile away. She's like, stop it. You don't have to prove that you're smart. Just stop.

Well, but because the other challenge that some people have, at least I did, was when I left corporate, I was such a rigid, formal, polished, uptight, you know, corporate professional, corporate executive. And I spoke and spoke that way. I processed that way actually for a really long time, even when I started writing my, my book. Um, and it took me time because I'm also a speaker, so it took me time to also kind of like that, let that all go. And just like, like you, um, Andrea, it's like, you know, fuck's like one of my favorite words, you know. And so that's why I was trying to get to, for our listeners and viewers, the fact that they may not intentionally or purposely try to write writerly, authentically, but it's part of them authentically at the time. But they— because they haven't found their true self yet.

Yeah, it takes a while. It absolutely takes a while. And that's why I recommend writing to a friend.

Yeah, but Bernadette, what changed for you? When did you realize that you were doing that and how did it change?

Um, I realized— well, because As I was shedding my bitch— and that's where everything that I do came from— uh, I just realized that I just, I wanted to disconnect from everything that had to do with my corporate, professional, rigid— I wanted— I knew I, you know, I was defined as a precocious, you know, uh, gregarious young girl, you know, before I kind of transformed into that nasty woman. Um, and I wanted to get back to her. I wanted to get back to her. So I just kept pushing and pushing and pushing and just telling my story and sharing and opening. And finally all the layers started falling away, and that's what shedding's about. Um, and yeah, I just kind of— I actually, to be specific, I was at a speaking engagement doing my formal bitchy self, and I don't know what came through me, Allison, but something came over me where I just kind of like kicked off my heels that I was wearing because my feet hurt and I leaned up against this wall. I'm like, if you don't mind, we're just gonna have a casual conversation. And I happen to be talking about shedding the bitch. We're just gonna have a casual conversation about this. And I never went back to— I never went back to being that rigid. It just kind of melted away.

I absolutely love that you brought us to that moment that you kicked off your heels I mean, that, that moment, and I like to teach classes with professionals and ask them, what was the moment that brought you to where you are today? And always going to a moment is a great prompt.

Right.

But it's a great— God, what you just did, it was so beautiful and visual. And I could totally see you like relaxed against the wall.

Yeah. Thank you, Alison.

I'm still curious. See, now this draws me in. Like, I'm so curious. Like, how did the audience then react? And do you— was it different than how they normally react to your speaking?

Yes, normally I get like, uh, women. I predominantly talk to women, but there's always men in the room, and men love it. And women would actually get up and walk out because they'd be in— they'd be— they, they know I'm calling them out for being truly a bitch because that's what my, you know, speaking's about. And so a lot of them would get up and and walk out. But the moment I did kind of relax and I just let it all go, and actually I, I kind of called over to my assistant that was on the side of the stage and said, could you throw me my slippers? Because I brought my fuzzy Shedding the Bitch slippers with me. And I go, could you— oh, there you go. I wish I had mine on so I could show you. I have Shedding the Bitch robes, and so, and it's all part of my shtick, so to speak. And so I just said, hey, could you throw, throw my slippers so I had something on my feet? And the room just broke out in laughter, and everybody just kind of like kind of sunk into their chairs and relaxed along with me. It was, it was actually awesome. Actually, it's a great— I need to tell that story.

That is this, that is your story. Yeah. And because this is why I get paid, because that is exactly what we're saying today. Like, as soon as you're real, as soon as you're true to yourself, as soon as you're most honest and vulnerable, people like come to you, they listen better, they, they connect. Oh yeah, they lean in. But yeah, they connect. We connect with other people in that moment.

Right now, let me ask you another, uh, well, a similar question. But so I, I much prefer microphones, even the camera, even at 60. I don't care, you know, um, because, and because I just feel like I just can express myself You know, and you're gorgeous and badass. Well, thank you.

Got it.

But I can connect with other people that, you know, yet, you know, and other people like to write. So do you talk to your, to your students about, and your audiences about, you know, find the medium that works best for you, or do you really like it centered on writing? Because you can write scripts of which then you use for your— or outlines for your storytelling, right?

Well, it's, um, it's so interesting because we focus mostly on writing on the page, but I actually come from— I did 9 years of producing a show called Lip Service, which was true stories out loud, and I love telling stories. In front of a camera, in front of an audience. On, you know, it's harder to do it on a podcast. I mean, we have thousands of listeners every time, but they're not talking to us.

Right.

So it's really hard for me. Like, I'm used to— we had, we had an audience at Lip Service of like 500 or 600 people right there. It happened at a time when people were really hungry for true stories in Miami. And it was a majorly successful show. And Alison did a few told stories at Lip Service, like, you know, but it was really my, like, love. So I did that for 9 years, 4 times a year. And my thinking, my storytelling kind of sensibility is out for Out Loud.

Mm-hmm.

I mean, because I'm also still trying to get stories on the podcast.

Right.

There's something slightly, slightly different. Like, there's little tweaks that I would make as an editor for a story that's meant to be told out loud. Shorter sentences, land your sentences on a strong note, right? Long descriptions, edit out. There's stuff like that that I think about, but the edits, the expression, it's the same.

Yeah. Well, I have another suggestion for you.

Yeah.

Stand-up comedy class will help you with that.

I, I, I— one of our students is taking a stand-up comedy class and has been performing, and she's really good, and I'm totally jealous of her.

Yeah, I never wanted to perform, but I wanted to take it. But back in 2003, I did, and I wanted to take it to improve my storytelling and improve my writing, because to your point, land, you know, certain places and all that kind of good stuff.

I actually wrote a solo show and performed it over Zoom.

Wow.

And that, that was another process of storytelling that was slightly different, but actually they all serve the same. It's storytelling, right?

And it's storytelling to this point of our conversation today that pulls people in, that pulls people in, and I just absolutely like love that. Um, so let me think, um, Now we talked about your podcast. What else should our listeners really understand when it comes to, you know, writing their story, putting it out there so then people could be drawn to them? Because keeping in mind, we have entrepreneurs, right, who are trying to draw people toward them for their business so they can make money. Um, and yet at the same time, we have authors and writers that want to write, whether it's fiction or nonfiction, or whether it's blogs or, you know, or they have their podcast. So what kind of— what big things would you, would you share with them to amp up their, their storytelling?

I think that first and foremost, they cannot be afraid to be very specific and tell the truth. For instance, one of my friends was getting up, she was being honored. And she was— there's going to be millions of people that she was going to try to fundraise. And she's like, oh God, what do I say? I said, what you don't want to say is get up, everybody, I want your money. What you need to do is get extremely personal and you need to stand up and you need to say, when I was sitting in the audience and somebody asked me for money, I wanted to get up and leave. And I am now standing on this stage because I believe in what I'm doing. And immediately she raised a bazillion dollars because what people want to know is, man, she felt just how I felt.

Right, right.

That's it. That's what anybody wants in a story. They're attracted to things that make them feel less alone and less, you know, whatever it is, less drunk, less alcoholic, less of a failure, less all of that.

Yeah.

I love teaching classes with entrepreneurs, or like, I've taught classes with people who are like activists. And the way— and what I do is what, what you just did, Bernadette. And I asked them to get to the moment that they knew this work was for them. Like, what the moment that they knew they had to do the work they're doing, even whether it's real estate or financial advising or, you know, advocating for Jewish liberation, whatever it is. And, and they're sometimes very hesitant to make it personal, make it about them. But if you can tell that story in— if you can tell that story on your website, or if you can tell that story in 2 minutes, Or if you can tell it in 30 seconds, you are ready. Yeah, you know, you're making a connection with people who are then going to trust you and do business with you.

Right, right.

And give you bazillions of dollars like Allison taught her friend to do.

Yeah, they get to like, know, trust, and do with you is my, my mantra.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, so if someone is interested in that kind of learning how to like, trust, and do, then on our website we have classes. We are for hire, and you can just start by coming to our Tuesday class. Yeah, that one's for free, the first class.

Right, right, right, right. And, and yes, and I think it's every— anyone that's in business, and like you said, it doesn't matter what— you could be a plumber and you should share your story about, you know, why plumbing is a passion of yours, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I absolutely agree with that. I do wanna— I do want to hear a little bit more about this prison series you have.

Cool.

And how did that come about? Because I'm looking at the two of you going, uh, which one was in prison? Me.

It was my favorite day when I was in prison. No one will ever hear— you will not hear anyone else say that, but for me, what happened was, as I went to a TED Talk I wasn't really looking for anything and somebody got up, one of the people who volunteered for this organization got up and talked about how they brought education and writing into prison and I was like, I want to go. And it was really like, I'm kind of like nosy and I just, I like stuff that's edgy. And so I went and I sat in this room with these men, 18 of them, by myself in a room with them. And we just, I felt like I was home. I felt like I was with people who I could trust, who weren't judging me. It's weird because I was nothing like any of those people, but for some reason I felt like I had found my purpose and it's only grown. And so what we wanted to do is to really share these guys' stories because people are, me included, are very judgmental of what we don't know. Yeah. So the second you understand somebody's story, you, you don't judge them the same way. That's true. That's why we get up and we say the most vulnerable thing.

Right.

Because now this person's told me the truth. Of course I— yes, I hire you because I trust you. If you've told me that, then I can, I can believe in you.

Yeah.

You know what I just thought? Like, you— I've heard you talk about like how you felt, um, in, in prison, but I don't know that you've ever said that you felt like you were home. But, but you were in a writing class. That's maybe why. Like, you had been in writing classes for 10 years and then you were teaching a writing class. No?

And it's different because I, there was, I used to do it on Wednesdays when we also had our live Wednesday night class, and I'd get to class and people would be talking about their, like, trouble. I was like, really? You're gonna complain about this? This guy has no freedom, right? You know, like, it just, it put things in, in perspective for me a lot. And it's not that we all don't have our issues and our problems that we deal with on a daily basis, but it really just put it in a different perspective for me. Yeah, we're lucky no matter what. We're really lucky.

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So we've talked about how people can get involved with Writing Class Radio. Um, and so I do have a question about the fact that, uh, and you've had 650,000 downloads since—

I think we're, I think we're up, up from there, but yeah.

Okay, so braggy.

So we're getting close to a million.

Million. All right, but that kind of like hits on my question, my next question though. But if someone gave you $1 million, yeah, a dollar for every listener download, what would you do with it?

Andrea, you go first.

Really?

Go for it.

Because I'm like, first I would have to like make sure that Allison didn't run away with it. I'm not sure, honestly, like I I really want more people to listen to Writing Class Radio. I do. And I want the whole world to get into a writing class. What would I— I don't know what I would do with a million dollars because I don't— okay, what would you do? I don't know. Okay.

No, seriously, I would start giving money to these people who are in prison so that they can buy stuff and then they can give the share money with their family. I just, I mean, I literally spend hours on the phone with these guys' attorneys just trying to help them out. There's no one working for them. One guy sent me something today just saying that, you know, his son is now in prison, and he sent his story without how the— he, the dad, went to prison 3 months before the kid was even born. The mom didn't want to be part of the picture. He went to the— you know, this guy's mom— the guy's been like in a million different places. No one loves him. He was homeless, and now he's in prison. And I'm like, it's the cycle. I would do anything to break the cycle, to, you know, raise awareness. And that's why we're doing this. I mean, yes, I could use a couple of those bucks, too, um, to buy some like color for my hair and some new shirts. But after that, yeah, I don't know. I just—

but what if you had to keep the money and use it to expand Writing Class Radio? Because you just—

is that the question?

I don't know, right? No, the question is a million dollars to spend at any—

however you want for your podcast. Say, you know, because you know you're being— you're being rewarded for the awesome job you're doing with your podcast. So yeah, use it for your podcast. How would you—

so let's go live. Let's go driving around the country just doing your ministry, Andrea. You're getting more people to write. We talked about it.

Oh yeah, I want to do— I want to do that. Yeah, I want to go writing class radio on the road and we stop in different places and we do workshops live, right? Because I mean, while Zoom has brought people together in a different kind of way, I really do miss being just in the same room with people writing and sharing and standing up. And yeah, absolutely.

And you can still broadcast that, right? You know, you could be in a room with people broadcasting it so other people can join in and do it.

Yeah, yeah, we could record that.

What would you do with the money? Are we allowed to ask you questions?

Yeah, yeah, because now I want to know, because we're about to hit a million dollars and we need to—

if I had to spend it right, if I had a million dollars I, and I just was talking about this with someone a couple weeks ago, I would actually turn my— I happen to have a property, my house also has a guest house and a lot, you know, a good chunk of, you know, yard and whatnot. And I have dogs in and out here a lot.

Okay, we're coming over.

And, huh?

Okay, we're coming over.

Yeah, yes. And so I just over the past year have just been really called to, uh, helping and fostering senior dogs, uh, because so many of them are getting dumped by their owners because they're old and now it's too, you know, too hard and too expensive and too— oh, it's just painful. So I would actually, um, convert my property and my guest house into a doggy shelter house, um, and just kind of really dress it up and make it as, you know, as homey and whatnot for as many fosters as I could have.

Well, then you, you also went off. Um, you're not funneling the money back into, um, Shedding the Bitch.

For sure, I, I would, but actually what I would really do is I have adapted my, um, my book and everything about Shedding the Corporate Bitch into a film script. So my 2022 goal, and it's written, um, and it— my 2022 goal is to get it out there and pitch it. And if I was even, you know, had the opportunity to use that money to hire talent and director and whatnot to get it produced on my own, I would do that. Yeah, yeah, I have a lot of uses of that million dollars. Where is it?

I love it. These things can happen. We're thinking them, we're putting it into the world. That's true.

And we're telling stories about our dreams and our, our desires, which is awesome. Ladies, this has been fantastic. Is there any last tips each of you would like to share with us as I share information about how they can reach out to you.

I just want to say that there— that it doesn't matter if you've never written before or if you've written for 100 years. Getting in a community, in a class, even if it's in Zoom on a Tuesday and in the middle of the day, it will change your life. It has changed mine.

That's awesome.

And many other people. Yep.

Andrea, how can I top that? I mean, yes, get into a writing group, and we have one that meets every Tuesday at noon Eastern. Yeah, for 1 hour on Zoom, right?

And they can find the information at writingclassradio.com.

Yes, and the first one is always free, and they can listen to the podcast wherever they get their podcasts.

Yeah, yeah. That is true. Writing Class Radio podcast, everyone. Definitely, definitely go looking for it and be, be one of those 1.0001 downloads.

Yeah.

And don't be surprised if you don't see me, or if you see me, and I hope to see you.

Yes, now we're definitely gonna see you in your session.

Don't be surprised.

Surprise.

Uh, this has been awesome. Thank you so much, ladies, for being part of this. This has been fantastic.

And thank you so much for having us. Wow, what fun.

You're so welcome. We'll definitely be in touch, um, and I look forward to learning more and even, um, listening to your, your podcast. So thank you so much, ladies. Everybody, please, once again, lastly, please go to writingclassradio.com, learn all about these amazing ladies, Allison and Andrea. And get into that writing class, listen to their podcast, and engage them in your writing journey. Um, and it will open up a world of adventure for you and opportunities in your business. Um, so thank you so much, everybody. All right, so for everyone, uh, this has been fabulous. I am so excited that we had this conversation as we kind of move into a new year and new opportunity for you to really dig deep, excavate your soul, shed those bitches so you can create the riches in your life that you deserve. And for everybody here within the Shedding the Bitch community, I am so grateful for you, and we will see you next week for another episode. I will talk with you soon. Have a rich week, everybody.

Bye. Thank you for taking part in Shedding the Bitch Radio and TV with Bernadette Boas. We would love to know what your biggest takeaway was. Go to sheddingthebitch.com on Facebook or YouTube and leave a comment. You can also subscribe to the show on Apple Podcast and YouTube so you don't miss a single episode of the show. And with your input, we can help other powerhouse women just like you find the show and decide if it's right for them. Learn more about Bernadette at balloffirecoaching.com.