#YesAllWomen Is Turning Tragedy into Change for Women

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of angst, attitude, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to your fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone. How are you on this beautiful, beautiful Tuesday? And I hope it is wherever you are. I'm in Atlanta, Georgia. It is sunny, it is hot, but it is absolutely gorgeous. And it is the Tuesday, or in some cases the Monday, after Memorial Day weekend. Meaning, of course, all week— I don't know about you, but I'm just gonna be all kind of messed up when it comes to the schedule because today obviously is the first day of the work week, and some of us did work yesterday, but not kind of officially. And therefore being a Tuesday, it feels like a Monday, and the next thing you know, I was all messed up with my calendar and meetings and so forth and so on. However, I did not forget about you because my Shit in the Bitch community is just way too important to me to do that. So I hope everyone, those of you who celebrate Memorial Day around the country at least, I hope everyone had a wonderful, fun, and safe holiday weekend. Though I know there's some— a lot actually, millions— that were affected by an event that happened out in California, which we're going to talk about because that is kind of going to be our focus of today's program. But before I get into that, um, because it changes also the, the tone of our show, however, before I get into that, I just want to, uh, remind everybody, Rich Ridge Tip Friday is right around the corner, so post your questions, stories, and challenges out on our Facebook page, Shedding the Bitch. I'm out there right now live in case you have any questions, comments, or stories you want to share during the program today. Um, at the same time, typically today, which is the last Tuesday of the month, we have Ridge Tip Tuesday, meaning I take all of the questions, stories, and challenges you posed out on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter. You guys send them to me from all a variety of places. We typically bring all of those questions, all those stories and challenges right here onto the show on the last Tuesday of each month. However, you also know how I, how I like to kind of interject current top-of-mind issues and challenges that are going on around the world, around the country, dealing with business or just life as a whole. And that's why this week's show is going to take a little bit of a twist and focus on one of the top news stories going on right now. So for those of you who were looking for your Rich Tip questions to get addressed deeper on today's program, we will address them, I promise you. We'll either switch it up into next week's show, or I'll notify everybody within the community and I'll get those video clips done to those questions that were posed this past month and get them up onto our Shed in the Bitch YouTube channel. So I will get them addressed, I promise you. I can— I commit to you. I didn't want to just throw them in the middle of today's program and today's topic because I just thought it would be a little bit too confusing. So I apologize for those of you who were anticipating your rich tip getting addressed and/or those of you who listen in for those Rich Tips, shoot me a note and tell me whether or not you ever want me to do this again or not. But I'm taking it upon myself too because I think it's an important subject and it's very, very timely and top of mind, so I want to be sure we can address it. Alright, so I hope all of you are okay with that and we'll just continue with our Rich Tip Friday, this coming Friday, and then as we move forward. All right, I am videotaping today, so for those of you who are listening live and/or you might have downloaded this podcast, feel free to also jump out onto our YouTube channel, Shedding the Bitch, and you can always view it there and see my lovely face and make a comment or two. Out on our Shed and the Bits YouTube channel. All right, let's see what else. I just want to do a shout out to our many sponsors, a few of them being TSR Tax, Debbie Snelling, who, uh, you know, brings a lot of value to our community with her expertise, to Total Communications Coach Joan Curtis, and you'll be hearing a lot more about her on the program as we move forward. She has a has a great new fiction book coming out in the fall, maybe wintertime, called The Clock Strikes Midnight. So we'll talk about more of that. Pena Global, which is a talent development and sales training organization, are a huge supporter of us, as is FranNet, which is a franchising consulting organization. Leslie Kubin, right here in Atlanta, Georgia, Georgia. If you are considering maybe taking that plunge into having your own business, go out to FranNet, but specifically look for Leslie Cuban right here in Atlanta. Okay, let me think. Anybody else?

Did I miss anybody?

You'll, you'll let me know if I did. All right, so what's happened to kind of— that really pulled at my heartstrings while at same time got me kind of angry and determined to just continue this dialogue. So I'll back up a minute and bring you all up to speed if you haven't heard or you haven't researched it or read about it. There were these 6 or 7 killings out in California over the weekend from a one college student to a whole bunch of other college students and He went on this rampage as a result of women rejecting him. He's a 22-year-old, as his manifesto says, um, he's a 22-year-old virgin, never been kissed, let alone have had sex, and he blames it on the fact that girls rather go with the bad guys and/or the popular guy than him. And so he went on a, you know, killing spree actually, because I guess he landed up first killing 3 maybe roommates. I haven't really read all that detail, wasn't relevant to the topic of conversation today, but 3 young men in an apartment complex, his I believe, and then went into a sorority and shot up and killed 2 women and a number of other young men as well. And then landed up even going to a shop and shooting that up as well. So all of this being from what his manifesto says is the rejection that he felt and he received from women and even the guys that wouldn't hang out with him and wouldn't, you know, kind of even pay attention to him. And he actually raised up and named a few people who obviously are in deep shock over the fact that somebody they don't even know has had issue with him. Now, I can get into the— I could get into a lot of dialogue about my perception of him. You know, obviously there's some mental challenges there, some very, very, very deep-seated pent-up anger and frustrations. That's not what this is about. That's not why all of a sudden this mass movement, this mass campaign has taken off, especially on Twitter. And the campaign is called, using the hashtag, it's called #YesAllWomen. Excuse me. I've been online all morning reading through the millions and millions and millions of tweets, as well as really reading up on how this incident has really provoked a major dialogue out in the stratosphere of social media and the media as well, and maybe in the hallways at work and the classrooms and the dog parks marks. And it should, and I hope it does, and I hope it provokes you to want to get involved, and we'll talk about that in a minute. But again, #YesAllWomen. So what occurred, what happened, and there's been, you know, more than a million tweets just since Saturday, and I want to say that statistic is even from yesterday. So what happened was Once his manifesto and the YouTube videos that he made expressing his hatred toward women, and then of course his disgust with guys, but more so it was all about the hatred toward women, then kind of spewed into a dialogue about him being a misogynist. And an argument started happening quite vehemently about whether or not he's a misogynist or not. Now, the definition, definition of misogyny or misogynist is a hatred or dislike for women. And obviously it doesn't take more than a couple paragraphs of his manifesto to see that, yes, he indeed— calling them animals, calling them disgusting, calling them whores— he obviously had hatred toward women. So So regardless, misogynist or not, that's not the relevancy here either. The relevancy is this, and being that the majority of our listeners are women, however we do have a good percentage of men, especially those in influential leadership management type roles within the business environment, this does pertain to you, this does pertain to all of us. This might be a 22-year-old man expressing violently his hatreds and dislikes and rejections and emotional insecurities out onto the world. However, we have to keep in mind he's setting an example not for all men, and we'll get to that in a minute, but not for all men, but he is voicing and he is expressing and he is responding to his own insecurities, beliefs, biases, bigotries, etc. And those individuals, not only, you know, those in college, but they spew over into the— our workforce. Obviously not to the extreme that this guy did, and I'm not gonna spend a lot of time talking about him because I am not in any way, shape, or form for him, but to put him in a position of any level of fame or notoriety or even, you know, the 15 minutes of fame that so many people go after. But what we do have to use this opportunity and this incident for is a significant change when it comes to objectifying women, when it comes to degrading, when it comes to demeaning, when it comes to disrespecting, which nowadays is even such a soft fluffy word. The fact that he took it out in such a violent way does not circumvent, it does not take, take visibility, take issue off of the subtlety of women being objectified, discriminated, disrespected, degraded, demeaning, not only in school but in the workforce, even in one's own home. And so you can go and read the millions and millions of tweets and see the opinions of both women and men. So YesAllWomen is basically came up from women wanting to speak speak out about, yes, all women do deal with X, Y, and Z. Oh yes, all women are subjected to 1, 2, and 3. Yes, all women are raising their voice and stating men, mankind as a whole, are treating them in such a way because yes, all women, each and every one of us, need to speak up. We need to influence— not even influence— we need to take change by its throat and we need to yank the living crap out of it until something does change. Now, I want to also point out, and that's being kind. But I also want to plead with all of you that you might be saying to yourself, oh well, it's just me, I, you know, I can't influence change. But yes, you can. That your one tweet, for instance, has now amounted to millions of tweets and now has amounted to this movement and campaign and this community of people debating it and dialoguing it, dialoguing about it. And that is what is needed to then get the attention of those greater organizations, those greater powers that can provoke change. And unfortunately, something as tragic as what has happened to these young men and women in Santa Barbara has to bring this to the forefront. And yet we need to embrace it, because if we embrace the tragedy, we can also embrace those people that are impacted, and then we can embrace the issue and the challenge that provoked it, and then we can influence change. Okay, so we're just getting started on this topic of Yes All Women and getting on the topic of what each and every one of us as as individuals and as a community can do to influence change for everyone. We're not leaving men out here. And so I'm just going to take a little breather and I'm going to kind of clear my throat and we're going to come right back to this because you are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio. This is Bernadette Boas and we are addressing the unfortunate tragedy, the devastating tragedy, not even unfortunate, devastating tragedy out in California, in Santa Barbara, California this past weekend. And the uprising of voices of both men and women. Hashtag #YesAllWomen. Go to Twitter and, you know, kind of join in on the dialogue and then I'll be right back in like 10 seconds, okay?

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Myth Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your business to riches.

The dialogue is— And that should have said, and the dialogue continues, but it's my next week, or it's my ending of my radio show announcement because I needed to take a little bit of a sip. But we're back and we're talking this Yes All Women. It's a sudden campaign movement, major conversation that's going on out on the stratosphere of social media, especially Twitter is where it was bred. And it really is addressing not only what this guy did, and again, I'm not going to give him any attention because it's, it's not about him. It's about what he did and what he stated and what his beliefs were that unfortunately creep into every single one of our lives, whether you want to believe it or not. And I don't care if you are a young college man or woman or you're the leader of the free world, you need to be listening and paying attention to this, this movement that's going going on, this collaboration, this community of dialogue that's going on right now, because it is raising very raw, very truthful beliefs, fears, biases, bigotries that are going out, out, going on out in the world. And it's impacting not only our students, but it's impacting our children. It's impacting our companies. It's impacting our individual lives. And whether or not you are willing to step up and whether it's voicing your opinion, many people out there are actually sharing their horrific stories themselves. And guess what? This isn't only about women. It's about men too. But men, listen up. You need to hear us. You need to hear the young girls and the older seasoned women. I'll call them seasoned women out there. And all we're asking is for you and for the world as a whole, because we can't, you know, we can't neglect the fact that also women hate on women, another subject we'll talk about in a minute. But we just all need to listen. We all need to involve ourselves. We all need to expose our own fears and insecurities and the things that have happened to us that are causing women to be quiet, not step up and want to join in, for other women to be angry and bitter and hanging on to all that junk, what we call bitches here at Shedding the Bitch Radio, and then also for those that are working to empower and help lift all of us up. And I'd like to kind of consider myself one of them. However, I'm not going to deny that I've had my own situations with being objectified, being harassed, being intimidated sexually from a feminist perspective, as well as then in the workplace. I don't want to say obviously, but then in the workplace. And men were involved. Women were involved too, but men were involved, and therefore it's a discussion that really needs to not only start as a result of this campaign— again, it's #YesAllWomen— but it just needs to kind of get folded into the overall dialogue of how do we make change for women and therefore for men in our world. How do we make mankind man-womankind or womankind, including women and men? We are all human. We are all people, and we need to find even the smallest of ways that we individually and then us as a community can influence a positive, constructive change to that. But I really would love for you to go out onto Twitter and check out some of the comments people are making. And I won't say that they're not coming with all sweetness. Some people are really angry, some people are really bitter, some people are really disrespecting each other in this dialogue, and other people are just positioning ideas and solutions for the change. So what I would ask is, whatever your thought is about it, whether or not you want to tell your story, whether or not you have an idea, whether or not you disagree with someone, it doesn't matter. Just share it. Put it out there. Get part of the dialogue. Don't be afraid, "Oh, no one's going to see it, no one's going to hear it, no one's going to care." Trust me when I say people people do. I've had a number of tweets myself go out this morning while I was researching this, because I'm also going to use it as my weekly article. But at the same time, so I've contributed a few things myself, and I could continue to— and I will actually— share my own situations for when I had a guy, you know, an old man, older man objectify me at the tender age age of like 11, and then the different experience of— I, I've had not only from a sexual standpoint but just being a woman, girl, uh, businesswoman, intelligent, smart, pretty, uh, powerful, empowered. Unfortunately, all of those good constructive things get stomped on by both men and women, and we have do something about it. Now, this is what I propose even for myself. It really comes down to, even for this young man, it comes down to his own insecurities, his own bitches as we call them, his own lack of self-awareness, his own lack of— forget empathy and all those other things, but really it was all about him. As opposed to the women and the guys that ignored him. And so what do we do? What can we do in order to kind of constantly be aware of what demons, what insecurities, what fears, what negativities, what beliefs that we are holding on to that's causing us to have such insecurity, such anger, such bitterness, such decline? Such sadness, such pain. And then from that, lashing out in such a way. And not all of us— 99.9% of the people are not going to lash out by killing somebody. But guess what? You're lashing out by drinking too much. You're lashing out by being a bitch. You're lashing out by hiding yourself from the world. You're lashing out by hurting other people. People, whether you believe it's intentional or not. So there's so many ways to manifest what, you know, what the same type of issues that this young man had, other than just going out and stabbing and shooting, shooting someone. So I want you to think about that because it's important. We have to, as we talk about here on Shedding the Bitch, we have to individually work to discover, confront, and shed those insecurities, those fears, those things that get us angry and bitter and depressed and sad. We need to just shed them so we can create the riches in life that we deserve. Okay, you're listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio, and this is Bernadette Boas. I am keeping an eye on everything because Twitter is certainly obviously very active, and I'm watching that hashtag Yes, all women. And trust me, it's not quieting down. Of course, these things come in cycles, and they certainly may, but it, you know, it's right now. Let's take advantage of the fact that it is impacting so many of our lives, and it's creating and bringing up a lot of stuff in people that they're wanting to get in involved. So let me just take a quick look here. You're listening to Shit in the Bitch Radio. This is Bernadette Boas. We're talking about the unfortunate shootings that went on in Santa Barbara, California this past weekend, while at the same time, in response to it, this major woman campaign and movement called #YesAllWomen, which is a providing a place for, for men and women to express themselves, their situations, their experiences, their challenges, their harassment, as well as their solutions and ideas and suggestions as to what we can do to make a change. And it is every one of our responsibilities that, especially women, If you want to be treated differently, if you want to be paid, promoted, recognized, treated, respected, loved differently or better or more rich— richly, then you need to get involved and you need to speak your mind, whatever that mind might be, whatever that story is, whatever that situation, solution, or idea is. All right, so that's what we're talking about on Shedding the Bits Radio today. For those of you that might have been— because I've been noticing people calling in and dropping off, which, which is fine, maybe you're just listening— but Rich Tip Tuesday typically is our last Tuesday of the month, which is today. And yet I really thought it was important for us to to kind of share in this dialogue of Yes All Women and really kind of talk through and work through ideas and solutions for how we can create equality, create humanity amongst men and women, regardless of culture, regardless of race, regardless of class, you know, if you should want to or do delineate and kind of bucket people differently. We are all people, and this stuff has got to stop. You know, the, the hostage— hostages, the 300 girls that were taken hostage, you know, that are being God knows what, sold off into slavery, sold off into prostitution, whatever the case might be. We have got to stop. We have got to stop. And all of our voices coming together can help, even in the smallest of ways. Okay, so you are listening to Shady the Bitch Radio. I'm just taking a look across our, our various social networks here. I am videotaping this, so any of you listening and/or if you downloaded the podcast, you can always also go back to YouTube and grab the video as well if you want to see my lovely face, and maybe Charlie pops in every once in a while. Okay, so the other— apart from the number one thing that each and every one of us can do. You don't ever even need to go onto Twitter and do the hashtag #YesAllWomen. What you could do is you could at least acknowledge to yourself, for yourself, how you're contributing to a similar situation. Not to killings of women and young college students, but more so, how are you contributing to being or feeling objective.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.