You Aren't a Leader if You Are Refusing to Give Up Control

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio Shedding the Bitch, or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone! How are you on this Beautiful, beautiful. It feels like a fall day here in Atlanta, Georgia. I hope it's fabulous wherever you are. You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio, and we are also streaming live on our Shedding the Bitch Facebook page. So, uh, download us at blogtalkradio.com or join us on Shedding the Bitch on Facebook. Uh, we have a great conversation today. We're going to be talking about how you need to give up control Brawl if you want to be a leader. And again, I'm Bernadette Boas, and I am thrilled whether you're a new listener or viewer to our program. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Be sure that you're out on BlogTalkRadio, iTunes, and following the show. You can also go to YouTube and subscribe there as well so you get all of the updates of past, current, and future episodes. All right, and for those of you who are our regular listeners, thank you so much. We have been working really hard to, you know, bring great content to you, and it's been showing in the visibility and the number of eyes and ears that have been joining in on the program. So I thank you very much for that. Continue sharing the episode if you like the episode even if you don't, but if we know you're going to love it, but leave a review on iTunes. It helps tremendously, even on YouTube, BlogTalkRadio, any of the platforms where you either watch or listen to podcasts and programs such as Shedding the Bitch. So today, like I mentioned, we are going to be talking about how giving up control will make you a much better leader. Actually, it'll make you a leader, period. But let me remind you of a couple couple of other episodes you might want to dig into if you didn't get a chance to either watch or listen to them. Last week we talked to Cheryl Johnson of RWL Tech. We talked— she talked and shared with us all about how failure is not an option, it is an absolute imperative. So take a listen for that. We also had our Ask Me episode Ask Me Anything episode, which is the first Tuesday of every month, where I take the question, stories, or challenges you're posting on Facebook, Twitter, you're sending to me on LinkedIn, or DMing me on Facebook, and I answer you right away at the same time the first Tuesday of every month. We bring them right here into the Shedding the Bitch program, and we dive into them even deeper. You have an opportunity to come on and either talk or or meet with me in our Zoom room. And last— this last episode we talked about a number of things. We got questions around how to stand out, especially in this age of online everything. And there's a lot of individuals that are going online, are social learning, teaching, building their brand, and they're trying to figure out how to kind of rise above the noise and get themselves noticed. So we talked about that. We also talked about— there's a good number of you applying for jobs, and you're leveraging recruiters. So you had asked about whether or not recruiters actually respond to you if they get your application and what to do if there is a lot of crickets, a lot of— that black silence between, you know, you sending out your resume and expecting that they have received it, and just what do you need to do in order to get your application noticed. So we talked about that. And then we also talked about— we had a business owner who was stressing over hiring the right way to get the right people because he had been burned once or twice in the hiring process. So take a listen or a view of our Ask Me Anything episode. And then lastly, we talked to Tammy Lynn Guttentag. A great lively wild conversation. We talked about navigating obstacles with ease. Doesn't that sound good? With ease, overcoming with ease. So again, Shedding the Bitch Radio, you can find it on blogtalkradio.com, iTunes, or anywhere you stream your podcast, and then go to our Bernadette Boas Shed the Bitch TV YouTube channel. For all of our previous episodes. All right, let's see what else.

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oh, I did want to thank our sponsor for this week, which is North Georgia Tax Solutions, and they serve the entire country for any financial or tax services needs that you have, and you can always reach out to them at ngtaxsolutions.com. All right, I think that's it. Everything. So, as I just take a sip of water really quick, I have a question for you. At work or at home, either place, are you one who has to control everything or at least have your hands in it? And, and/or you're just, you know, trying to kind of steer the ship when really no one's asking you to? Others want to join in, and yet you're not necessarily giving them that opportunity to do so. Well, it's actually a very, very common challenge many professionals have in the workplace, and then many individuals— those professionals, once they get home, and others who also have a hard time giving up control and therefore not necessarily leading anything or anyone. They're more so, you can call them a control freak, micromanager, whatever the case might be. But it's severely hurting and impacting your success, whatever that might be, climbing the corporate ladder, building your business, having healthy, rich supportive relationships and family units. It's severely impacting you in every way, shape, or form if you're not willing to give up control and allowing others to be accountable, to take risks, and in themselves be leaders. So leaders— I pulled a I need to find it. Oh, I pulled a quote from John Maxwell that actually, in full transparency, popped up as I was doing research for this. But when I look around, I have it actually indicated not only on my vision board, but also in kind of different notes and journals that I have, because this quote is somewhat popular when it comes to John C. Maxwell. And it reads, a leader is the one who knows the way, "Go the way and shows the way." And each one of them are key components of being a leader. Knowing the way, going the way, and showing the way. And I love "goes the way" within that quote because it actually indicates to me that they're practicing what they're preaching. You know, they're leading because they're doing what they want others to do. They're not doing the work. They're just managing, delegating, communicating, and therefore leading in a way that they know inspires and motivates and builds up individuals, whether at work or in the workplace. But for you to further understand what this might look like, if you're kind of struggling with, okay, so what does a control freak leader look like? And being a transformation coach for the last 12 years, I've seen it all. And I've also had my clients come to me for a good many reasons, but one of them is this need and desire, they ultimately have the desire to let go, to turn over the reins, to trust other individuals to do what needs to get done. Because by the time they get to me, most likely they are overwhelmed, they are burned out, they may not necessarily be really clear that they are the problem and the solution, but at the same time they're at a point where they're just totally exasperated trying to figure out about what they need to do differently in order to get a different and better result. So let's look at this kind of through the eyes of an employee and/or a boss. So the employee who wants to be an effective producer and a contributor, an employee of the company, and then the boss of the person controlling and therefore not leading. And, you know, looking at it from both angles, what the perception and the takeaway, and what you need to be concerned about is what the frustration is on your employees and your bosses, because again, it severely impacts not only your performance, but your brand, your reputation, your aspirations for growth. It's severely impacting it. On all angles. You know, it could even be on your peer level, let alone your employees and your bosses. So let's take a look and just see whether it's you or someone else, because a key component of being a leader too is when you see other people behaving in a way that's detrimental to themselves, their team, and the company, then you also as a leader need to provide that feedback and that coaching. All right. So, okay, we're going to look at it from an employee and a boss's. How would you view these type of behaviors from someone? So say someone, an individual, they just fail to plan out what it is that needs to get done and by whom and by when. All the typical goal-setting type of elements. And therefore, they're just running around, their day is made up with running around dumping work on people. And hopefully they've given them a priority or a timeline or whatever the case might be, but in a lot of cases this individual is not. They're just dumping, dumping, dumping, dumping, dumping. All right. Maybe they, once they dump, you know, they appear as if they're not going to kind of be standing over the shoulder, but the next thing you know, they have their fingers in everything. You know, they're constantly asking for updates long before kind of a milestone is being met. So they're just micromanaging, sitting over, you know, one's shoulder, if not physically, they are in their behavior and in their emails and in their text messages, whatever the case might be. And in the way that they're behaving, not only within the 9-to-5 hours, but even outside the 9-to-5 hours. They think they can do everything better than their people, so they don't even bother dumping. They just take it on themselves, and they, you know, and they just say, "Oh, I can, I got it done. I'll get it done. It will take me 5 minutes. It will take you an hour, you know, just to explain it to you, let alone to get it done. So I'll take care of it." and they're just piling, piling on themselves, let alone their people, because they don't trust that their people can do it, and they don't want to take the time to sit down and actually lead, actually coach, actually guide. Remember John C. Maxwell, they know the way, they go the way, and they show the way. That's what leadership is. So they just take it on themselves and don't even kind of bother to actually be a coach, be a guide, be a leader. They might, oh, they might actually be one, see if you can relate to someone like this, but they're one that, all right, so they give it over to somebody. It comes back, and even when it's done really, really well, they always have something to edit or add to it. You know that individual when you get a sheet of paper and it's got all the red marks? Red marks that don't necessarily add value to what you delivered or what someone else delivered, yet they have to be— they are there, they have to be there, and they're always there. Can you kind of picture someone, if not yourself, but picture someone like that? And again, I mentioned they don't coach or guide, they basically tell. They don't show, they don't go, they basically just tell, as opposed to coaching and guiding someone. And then the big one, if you ever study, read, are familiar with servant leadership, So this individual, they don't give or serve, they're just taking, they're just grabbing. Whether that's new projects, whether that's attention, whether that's acknowledgement, whether, you know, that's, you know, congratulations. They're just constantly taking and grabbing at things. Desperate, desperate to kind of, be on the inside, to be accepted, to appear as if, you know, they are a leader when in fact they're anything but. So, so any of these sound familiar to you, whether it's a deep reflection in a mirror of yourself or it's someone else. And I really challenge you to Look at that reflection in the mirror. I had to do it 12 years ago. I had to, ooh, have that really blunt, deprecating look in the mirror and acknowledge that I was this individual and I checked off every one of these do not do if you want to be a leader. And it took a great deal for me. To say, okay, all right, that's who I look like and I am now, and then let's work on what we, you know, what I want to be and look like. So I really challenge you. It's great to, to kind of get a good, clearer picture of someone else, but I also want you to get a really good picture of yourself. And in any way, shape, or form you're struggling here, Well, we're— I'm here to help. All right? Excuse me. As a 10-year-old little girl said to me when I was, I don't know, 14, 15, babysitting her, Bernadette, do you have a frog in your throat? Your voice is awfully raspy. So, Melinda, no, I don't have a frog in my throat. I just have a deep voice. So, does any of these situations, scenarios, sound familiar to you? Because if you do, you definitely want to kind of just sit back and say, hmm, good, all right. There's some new information for me to soak in. And now every challenge, every issue, every situation has a solution. You are your own solution. Solution, whether or not it's for within yourself or it's to help and coach and guide someone else toward, you know, the leader that they want and they need to be. Because I, you know, I'm here to tell you straight out, you don't shift out of some of these state of beings, you will hit a wall. It might be the wall you're feeling right now in the fact that you haven't been promoted, you haven't gotten a raise, you haven't gotten acknowledgement, you haven't gotten assigned a new project, you haven't gotten welcomed to the table, inside the club, whatever you want to call it. Your business is stalled. You're not getting the type of employees that you want. You're not attracting the type of clients that you want. You might have already hit a wall. And if you've hit a wall and you really even don't know why and you're again, that reflection isn't very clear, then again, that's where I'm here to help. Okay. Excuse me. Now, as that wannabe leader, okay, and say you recognized it in someone else. That, you know, it's someone else that has these challenges. And as a leader, you need some help. You you need some support, you need some strategies and tips to say, okay, so how do I, you know, how do I handle this? How do I take this on? And as a leader, if you are truly a leader, you might be new and kind of young at leadership and really the qualities of leadership, but I do believe that each one of us have these qualities within us. It's a matter of whether or not we've recognized them, acknowledged them, honored them. As I say, honor your riches. And practiced and developed and enriched them. So don't kind of go, oh, wait, wait, this seems really, really hard. I might not be capable. You certainly are. You certainly are. You're capable of changing, and you're capable of developing and enriching so you can support others around you to kind of focus and work on and develop the same things, okay? If you were someone who needed to approach this with someone else, then a few suggestions that I would have for you, and then we're going to address if you're the individual and, you know, therefore you want to work on your leadership style, then we'll talk about that as well, okay? So first, I would suggest that you approach the individual with observations, with observations that come with specifics. And facts. So, have you ever had a performance review or a conversation with your boss and they all of a sudden, out of the blue, they bring up a situation that they are not really happy with? But they really cannot tell you anything about it. They do not have any of the specifics of where it was, when it was, who was involved, what was done, what was not done. Yeah. And— and you're frustrated because you're like, "Well, wait a minute. How serious, you know, can I take in this feedback? Even as open as I am, how serious can I take in this feedback if someone can't even tell me any specifics about it so I can learn from it?" Hypotheticals can be useful, but if you're addressing an individual's performance, then you need to talk to the individual about their performance. Which is observations, specifics, and facts about what it is they did or didn't do. So as a leader who's going to approach this with someone, just ensure you have observations, specifics, and facts. And it may not be from you directly. It might be feedback from an employee or a peer or one of your peers, colleagues. So another senior to this individual. But at least you need to gather from them observations, specifics, and facts. And the biggest thing you're going to want is the observations of the impact it's having, not only on the people around them, and that could be their team, their peers, and the bosses, but also on themselves as a potential leader a potential high potential, potential high potential, or even have an impact on their job. And I, that's one area where I get a lot of, I get a lot of individuals coming to me. It'll be an HR leader, it'll be a hiring manager. They have this high-producing individual who is struggling to be a leader, and they're struggling to the point where it's a question of do we keep them or not keep them. Well, you don't want to get there. You don't want an individual to get there. So before you allow them or yourself to get to that point, not of needing me, but of potentially losing your job, make sure you're reaching out to someone and you're finding the solutions to, for that individual because If they are high-producing with an opportunity to be a high potential, then you don't want to lose them. It's very costly, but that's for another day. Okay, so approach the conversations with someone with observations, specifics, and facts. Then you need to ask a lot of questions. The one thing about leadership, it's all about accountability. It's all about ensuring other people are taking accountability, let alone yourself. So you need to ensure that this person is getting a really good understanding and that they are agreeing or disagreeing and acknowledging and taking accountability for what it is that you're sharing with them. So you need to ask a lot of questions. So you're not necessarily making accusations or putting up a scenario that they have to, you know, actually defend necessarily. You're just asking them a lot of questions about the observation-specific facts that you're sharing with them. The scenario. What, you know, what in their view, you know, happened? What was said or not said? What was done or not done? What was the impact you were expecting and/or do you have an understanding of what the impact actually was as a result of your actions, your words, your behavior? You know, what would your solution be in rectifying, solving, smoothing over, improving, enriching on this observation that's being raised, that this situation— it could be observation sounds so soft, right? It could be a situation, it could be an issue, it could be an obstacle to employment, let alone growth. So you want to be compassionate and have a lot of empathy with this, you know, discussion at the But at the same time, you need to be direct, you need to be forthright, you need to be specific, and you need to make sure that they're being accountable. All right? And again, you know, you're always going to hit a nerve with someone when it becomes personal and emotional. And, you know, losing a job is one thing, but there's a lot of ambitious— and that's a good word, at least in my world— there's a lot of ambitious people out there there's also a lot of aggressively ambitious people out there, and we all have egos. So if all of a sudden we have this idea and this goal and this aspiration to be X, Y, and Z, and you're now telling me that that's at risk, you know, there's going to be, you know, two different types of people. One is going to freak out over not getting the acknowledgement and the advancement that they want, and then there's going to be those that freak out over losing a job. Both of them appear to be bad, yet some people will take, you know, each one of those and kind of measure it very, very differently for themselves based on what it is that they've been, you know, goal to do, aspire to be, so forth and so on. So you need to be very upfront about the impact, and it's going to be also the impact of your employ— the employees, the peers, the bosses. It's not only about advancement and, and salaries and raises and bonuses. It also is, if you're a business owner, it's also attracting the right kind of employees that you want, the ones that are going to value the leadership. It's also about the type of clients and vendors and partners you're going to attract. People don't want to do business with nasty people. Let alone unorganized, mismanaged type of people. And again, I can attest to that. And then when it comes to that employee, you know, they certainly don't want a team that they could start losing employees, and they're just constantly struggling to turn that gerbil wheel getting people to not only be hired but to actually stay. To stay. And then not only to stay, but actually really contribute and really want to give to what it is that you're supposedly leading them toward.

All right.

Now you certainly— this is the accountability part— you certainly want to ensure that they are coming up with the solution. Again, remember that saying, they know, they go, and they show. So they don't tell you. You know, if you want someone to own what it is that they're doing, then you need to ensure that they're coming up with their own solutions to it. So, you know, you want to ask them, so how do you think we should take care of this? How should you address this? How would you like me, you know, to stay connected to it? So forth and so on. And you need to ensure that as the leader of an individual who is struggling, you need to ensure that you also promote the fact that you are there to support them and that you are also there to follow up and hold them accountable. Because, you know, if there is something, a measurement that has to be taken in regards to whether or not you are employed or not, let alone advanced, then, you know, you also want to show them as a leader that you are there to support them. And you're there to follow up and hold them accountable to the things that they've come up with as solutions. All right? So, you know, be the leader you want them to be. Demonstrate, show, go, know. All right? What, what you want them to be, and that'll be a great, great way to demonstrate what it is that you expect from them. Now, if you are someone who is on that receiving end going, mm, you know, I'm probably, you know, not really, you know, my strength isn't in giving up control, and I do feel— because I've had clients that have acknowledged to me, but Bernadette, I can, I can do it faster, I can do it you know, better, I can do it, whatever. And I'm like, yes, but no, you know, it's no. The answer is no. If you're a leader to that, you need to trust. And, and that's what I— it ultimately also comes down to. And if you go and have been part of the Shedding the Bitch community at all, you know, there's always a lot of conversation around trust. Whether it's trusting yourself to take risks, to own your goals, to pursue what it is that you want, trusting in yourself. But there's a huge, huge element of trust when it comes to being a leader, trusting that your team around you— and that's your employees, your peers, your bosses, so forth and so on— that entire team, you're, you're allowing to take risks you're allowing for them to do their job, you're allowing for them to support you and to kind of be your grounding force, you're allowing them to be better, smarter, and even advance more than you if you truly want to be a leader. Because leaders surround themselves with smart people, people that are better than they are. Because a leader isn't a leader because they know everything. A leader is a leader because they have qualities and traits of an individual that people want to follow, and they're leading because they're, you know, knowing, they're going, and they're showing them. All right, so leaders surround themselves with purposely, intentionally with people that are smarter, more experienced, bring diversity, more creative ideas, new ideas, innovative ideas. They work daily on ensuring that their circle of influence, let alone— well, I should say that their circle of community, let alone their circle of influence, is made up of people that will show up, do the work, contribute greatly, and be the type of people and leaders that they are. And everyone is lifted up as a result of it. Okay. So what can you do if you're struggling to give up control? What can you do? I lived in it. I was such a control freak. I knew I could do it better than somebody else, and I wanted to ensure that I knew every, every little nitpicky status, you know, or issue of whatever it was that I was working on. I wanted to ensure that I had my toes, fingers, nose, head, into everything. And eventually I did kind of in that reflection of the mirror see that I was also not, not even a control freak as much as I just didn't trust anyone. And that's a sad place to be if you can't trust the people you are paying. In this case, you know, from a, from a business perspective, if you are, that you are paying to do work and to do the work you've hired them to do, whether in a corporate office or in your own business. So you want to ensure that you're finding ways for you to kind of give up that control. Okay. And— excuse me. That frog just wants to come up and say hello. So learn to delegate. To give up control. And how do you do that? Well, you start, you look at the population of the work or the activities and the projects that you have in front of you. And you intentionally look at it saying, okay, so where am I involved? And you might nick yourself in every one of them. You might also automatically go, oh, no, no, no, I have Joe doing that and Paula doing that. Am I doing that? And what I would have you think about is the 80/20 rule, the Pareto rule, Pareto rule. And that is, look at it honestly to say, okay, so am I 80% involved in this or am I 20% involved in this? And let me tell you, leaders should be 20% involved in things, not 80%. So if you're looking at it and you're going, yeah, you know, maybe I'm not 80, but I'm 60 or 40 or 30. Well, you need to kind of continue nipping away at that and delegating it, trusting other people to do their job, and getting that number down. So you're focused on the 20%, which is all about developing and growing and enriching not only your people, but the role that you're responsible for and the company that you're working for. So, if you really want to learn how to give up control, you can even start small. Give, you know, start small at home. You know, start letting other people, you know, do things, make decisions, be responsible for something, lead something, as opposed to you always feeling, even though you might know what's best, sometimes, you know, just like a parent. 'Cause even at work, your employees, your peers, even your bosses, they're kids at heart. They want someone leading them. They want discipline. They want to be, you know, they want to be shown, you know, the way. So, think of, you know, think of if you are a parent. I am not. At the same time, with the, 11 brothers and sisters and massive amount of nieces and nephews I have, and the observations that I have from family, or yeah, from family and friends. But more so because these people with grown-up clothes on, they're kids at heart. And therefore, if you can also look at, look at it that way and allow them to make mistakes, allow them to screw up, allow them to make bad decisions, because you're going to be there, because you know the way, you go the way, you show the way. All right, but that'll be your number one thing to do if you really want not only to become a leader but to let go and give up control. I'll tell you, it's the most freeing thing in the world. And we're going to have— be having a discussion here on this show, I believe it's 2 weeks from now in regards to truly giving up control and the freedom and liberation you feel by giving up control. And so, as you're kind of making that laundry list of the things that you're involved in, you're looking to see who you can delegate off to, be very intentional about it. Just don't do it because you want to get from 80% to 40%. Be intentional. Who would be best to do this assignment? Who would be best to take on this new project or initiative? Who would be best to lead this presentation? Because, again, you really being intentional about considering who it is you have around you to support you, to contribute to you, to do the work that you've hired them to do, you may kind of have overlooked that, hey, you know what, Sammy's really good at putting together messaging, really good with words, really good with some marketing twists, even though he's in an IT role. So maybe I need to kind of have him do something that even someone else is already doing, but yet it could be very, much more richer coming out of SAMHSA as opposed to over here. So be very intentional, because what you need to give up control is you need proof that you can trust and delegate out to other people and let them make mistakes, because you're going to find that they're— they either don't make the mistakes, or the mistakes they make are recoverable, and you're able to show them the way. So you need proof and confidence. And to get proof and confidence, then be very intentional about the decisions you're making in the assignments and the tasks and the delegations that you're doing. Be a leader. Because even if you come up blank and go, "Oh, I really don't know who can do this," well then take a risk and give it to someone because you're going to be there to know, show, and go with them. Okay, but be very intentional about it. Just don't all of a sudden go, oh, I'm going to start delegating to everybody because I want to appear as if I'm giving up control. Because again, because at the minute something comes back and bites you in the butt, that person who is the wannabe or so-called leader is going to deflect and blame it on somebody else and you know, and make excuses for it. They're not going to own it. They're not going to recognize or want to recognize that, you know what, I didn't necessarily put a lot of intention or thought into what, you know, the assignment that I was making, and therefore I, you know, it's actually— I should be owning it and being accountable to it myself. All right, we talked about briefly with And we talked about, you know, that fact that people are just, are kids. The one thing, the greatest lesson I've learned from my corporate career where I was a nasty, I mean, you can see it behind me. I was that ultimate corporate bitch that people ran from. Even though people would comment, well, I learned a great deal from her, so I put up with her. Do you want that reputation? No, you don't. You don't. You want to, you know, you want to be, you know, respected and admired for being a really, you know, strong individual who's confident, who trusts, who's compassionate, who's empathetic, who's a good communicator, good delegator, inclusive, so forth and so on. All right? So, to do that, my greatest lesson from losing my job and coming down this path for the last 12 years to really now show other people what not to do is the fact that we are not robots at work. We are people with beating hearts. We are unique individuals. Each and every one of us are unique individuals that need their own individualized, custom-tailored leadership. Now, immediately that might sound overwhelming to someone. But really all it takes is you paying attention and being intentional that Joe might need a soft hand, but Mary needs direct, bullseye type of feedback and support. And Sammy is going to be always, you know, in the clouds because he's very creative, regardless of the fact that he's an IT guy. But he's always very creative. And Jody over here is very much an analytical person who, you know, will throw a spreadsheet at you. Even when you're asking for a picture. So you need to be intentional as a leader to really understand the uniquenesses of the people that work for you or with you. Because that in itself will help you be able to know, go, and show appropriately to maximize their contribution, their performance, their overall success in the work that they're doing for you. You have to recognize they're unique, that they're not robots, and that they are people outside of work as much as inside of work. And therefore, that's where the traits of empathetic and compassion with integrity and kindness all kind of, and trust all comes into play. Okay. And then, as a reminder, recognize that your people want to be led. They may act as if they don't. They may act as if they don't want to be told what to do, and how to do it, and when to do it, and, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, take a day, take a week of not, of just sitting back and doing nothing, and chaos will break out. It will. It just will. They want order. Your team members want order. You know, they, you know, just like John C. Maxwell, they want you to, you know, know the way, go the way, and show the way. So you just need to give that to them. But losing, you know, giving up control just simply means you also need to trust that other people will have your back. And they'll have your back if you show that you have their back. And you give them what it is that they need to do their work or at home to do, to be that family unit that you want them to be. All right. I'm going to, we're not going to discuss it here, but We can certainly go into all the traits that make up a leader, and at the same time, I'll post them and you can do further reading or research on it. Just know that start small and get big results. If it is you that wants to change or you're helping someone else that you're observing, struggling in being a leader. Just do one small step. So if you're that leader needing to address somebody, use the tips we talked about, about observation, asking questions, being compassionate but holding them accountable, and, you know, asking them for solutions and ensuring that they know you're supporting but holding them accountable. If you're the individual who's looking in the mirror and you're seeing that reflection, you're going, hmm, she might be calling me out on a couple of these things. Trust me, I called myself out on every one of them, and guess what? I'm still here today, and I'm in such a much better place, as every one of my clients are as well. Who, when I say 70% of them, when, when we work, begin to work together, are in a place of massive struggle when it comes to being a real, real true leader. And yet today they are, they're blowing it up. You know, they're achieving massive success and getting exactly, you know, the advancements and the business opportunities and the business growth and the personal enrichment that they're looking for. So you can change. That individual can change with your support. And the number one thing I would have you focusing on when it comes to giving up control so you can be a leader is just trusting and, you know, allowing other people to take risks, allowing them to make mistakes. Just give it a shot, and then you can move on to working on one of many, you know, traits and qualities of a true leader. You don't have to soak it all up right now and try to all of a sudden, you know, change 100% of who you are. Recognize it took you a long time to be in the place that you are right now, and it'll take you time to shift away from it. Okay, let's see. Now, if you've enjoyed this episode or you've enjoyed any of the episodes, for those of you who are returning listeners and viewers, then please be sure to go on to blogtalkradio.com. Or iTunes and rate the show. Give us a review. It just helps us get in front of more and more people. You can always share the episodes that you're enjoying. You can also go to our YouTube channel, Bernadette Boas Shed the BTV, and leave a comment and a thumbs up there as well. And again, it just helps to, you know, help other people, more and more and more people create the riches in life they too deserve. And you can also go to ballofireconsulting.com, learn all about me and the work that we do. As well, join our Facebook group Shift to Riches on Facebook. We are a community of like-minded individuals, passionate, purposeful, and productive, who are looking to create those riches in all areas of our life. And we'd love to have you as a community member there as well. All right, I will talk with you next Tuesday at noon Eastern time for another episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio. Take care, everybody. Bye.