Your Purpose Can't Wait with Davina Ware

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone! Welcome to our latest episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio. Ah, how you doing today? I'll tell you what, our guest, who I'll introduce in a minute, which you can see— Davina, how are you?

Great.

And for those of you just listening, we are also recording this, and it'll be up on our Shift to Riches Bernadette Boas YouTube channel, so you can check it out there, as well as our Shedding the Bitch YouTube channel. And I'll give you all that information in a minute. But I'm so excited to have this conversation today. We're gonna be talking, we're gonna be talking about the fact that your purpose can't wait, and it can't. So we'll get into all of that with Davina in just a second, but I just want to first, if we could, just take a moment to take a deep breath and maybe say a, you know, a quick or long prayer, however you wanna do it, for the hearts and souls and minds of all Americans right now across the country that are really, you know, dealing with everything that is going on. Not only the pandemic, so I'm wishing well to everyone around the globe in regards to that, but also just the situations, the heartbreak, and the coming together of the last couple of weeks. And I do believe that through all of this chaos, through all this chaos, we will bring everyone together. I'm gonna do my part to help that cause. So if we could just kind of think about everyone, you know, keep them in our hearts, keep them in our prayers, seek for calm, seek for peace, seek for reconciliation and for togetherness. And I'll just give you a couple of seconds to do that. But I do, I want it for everybody here within the Shedding the Bitch community, I do want to just say, send out my prayers and well wishes to everyone. All right, so if you haven't caught the recent shows that we've had, the recent episodes, last week we talked to Steve Gavittorta. Now he has a book, and I just absolutely love the whole concept of this, the material, but also the title in itself. It's In Defense of Adversity and Turning Your Toughest Challenges into Your Greatest Success. And that's exactly what we all kinda need right now. So definitely go back and take a listen for that, or go to our YouTube channel and you'll find our video interview. The week before, we kicked off the month with our Ask Me Anything episode, which is the first Tuesday of every month where you give me your business, career, and life questions, and I provide you tips, advice, and sometimes, sometimes some tough love. So this past episode we talked about a number of things. What do you do if you think, which is key, if you think you're being fired? What do you do? And then also, how do you negotiate a raise or a new job, especially if that new job pertains to one company buying the other that you happen to be working with, and therefore you're kind of being— you're going with the new company, and yet there's still those negotiations to secure your overall package. We talked at the pros and cons of franchising. I was asked about my experience with franchising, and therefore what should one be considering when it comes to franchising. And then lastly, With everything that's been going on, especially the last couple of weeks, I had somebody reach out to me who was dealing with placing their opinions and their thoughts on social media and getting attacked. Now that's one thing, but then add to the fact that she's already been dealing with a great deal of depression long before, long before even the pandemic. And so it was just piling on and she was just trying to find her way out. So we discussed that as well. So take a listen and a watch of all of those episodes. You can go to sheddingthebitch.com/radiopodcast. You can also go to our YouTube channel, which is Bernadette Boas Shed the B TV. Bernadette Boas Shed the B TV. And then be sure to subscribe and follow and like not only our channels but also the individual episodes and videos. That just helps all of us continue to connect and educate, inspire, and motivate ourselves to create the riches in life that we deserve. Alright, lastly, I want to thank a couple of our sponsors who really have made Shedding the Bitch community flourish over the last number of years, and that is Debbie Parker of Parker House Virtual Services. She provides full-service social media and virtual assistance support to small to corporate-sized companies. So please email her directly. She's my person, so email her directly at deborahparker.va@gmail.com. And I believe I even called her Debbie. That's not her name, it's Deborah. And then Debbie Snelling, I need to thank, of NG Tax Solutions. And she and her company is a full-service financial and tax services company. Who also supports small to corporate size clients and does an absolutely fantastic job. So you can reach out to her and learn more at ngtaxsolutions.com. All right, okay, let's get into this conversation that we're going to have with Davina Ware. Again, hi Davina!

Hello, hello!

I was telling Davina, and you can all take your time if you— unless you did all the way through that introduction— to check out the background of her author and you know, you can see the dignity and laughs without fear of the future, and you can look up the proverb so you can get the top half of it, but it's just such a welcoming, a welcoming environment. But let's talk about what we're going to talk about today. It's all about whether we're yearning for a fulfilling career or looking to turn your passion project into a business. "It's imperative to ensure your next step is connected to your purpose. Otherwise, you risk perpetual disappointment, overwhelm, and burnout." And I can even attest to that through my multiple cycles of really trying to turn my, what I knew was my passion into my purpose. So what you're gonna hear and learn about today are the clues that you're being given that you're on the right track and kind of how to tap into that. The most common ways professionals self-sabotage themselves and the necessity of self-care and rest in the journey of goal achievement. How professionals can start where they are to, wait, I'm sorry. How professionals can start where they are to get ahead without getting more degrees.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Love that, love that, love that. Okay, a little bit about Davina. Davina Ware is a marketing professional, career coach and founder of Upwardly Paved Paths Career Coaching. She helps professionals get out of their own way to transition into their ideal careers that utilize their gifts and talents through the latest career transition strategies, personal growth, and spiritual development. She leads her clients to fulfillment in their next career move. She's no stranger to career transitions as she's worked in nonprofit and corporate environments within the education, telecommunications, marketing, and healthcare fields. Throughout her 15 years in the workforce, Davina has learned the key components that hiring managers value in prospective candidates. Also, her strategy to motivate towards clarity, encourage overall growth, and use her marketing expertise for ultimate career alignment. Davina is certified by the International Coaching Federation holds a bachelor's in marketing communications, has an MBA in integrated marketing communications, and is a direct marketing certified professional. I would say she is a power woman for sure, for absolutely for sure, for sure, for sure. So Davina, tell us a little bit about yourself before we jump into kind of the business stuff.

Absolutely. Um, I'm just a person that understands and realizes the purpose, the point of being on purpose. And me being a career coach, it comes from this space of, you know, I bumped my head quite a few times in the career space and I'm like, I am perpetually unhappy. And all of my friends were too. And people were just accepting this. And I'm like, oh, so I'm supposed to do this for another 40 years and then I can retire. Great. And then I just woke up one day, I'm like, this cannot be it. It can't be. And after doing some soul searching and just like taking an aerial view of like life and our society, I realized that no, this isn't how it's supposed to be. And then I heard someone say that your struggle should be someone else's shortcut. So that's how I see myself in this space is to be a shortcut so that people don't have to go through 8, 10, 12 years of being disappointed, of feeling unfulfilled, of anxiety every day. But you can have a job, you can have a career, right? Like, oh, I got to get up, I got things to do, and I'm excited to put my energy toward these things. So that— and I love marketing, I'm a marketing geek, I see marketing in everything. And so I apply it in this space because that's a component. We're all walking billboards for ourselves. And people a lot of times forfeit great job opportunities because their brand, their marketing isn't together. So I put these two things together so that I can get more people on purpose.

Yeah, that's awesome. But, but I have to take you back, and I didn't want to cut in and interrupt other than my alarm will, and I can't figure out why it's going off. But I love that statement that your struggle should be someone else's shortcut. Okay, I'm sure you have that somewhere, and if not, I'm creating an image and I'll, you know—

Yes, that's good.

I'm gonna put your name to it and put it out there because that's awesome. That is awesome because that is a great way to look at it, is, you know, our own struggle needs to be someone else's shortcut. I absolutely I absolutely love that. Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous. So help me understand something though. So I love the idea that you're so targeted on those corporate career professionals who might want to change up what they're currently doing. Yep. What, especially for those that are in corporate, even short-term, let alone long-term, what is it that gets them? That place, that gets them to the place where they're just like very frustrated, very kind of like fell out of love with what it was that they were doing, and they get themselves stuck?

Yeah, honestly, I think it starts before we even get there, because we were sold this idea of like, this is what you do: you graduate high school, you go to college, you get a job. Like, there are these manufactured milestones that we accept. And for some people that works, but then we get to a point where we're like, this doesn't jive with my personality, it doesn't jive with my natural energy cycles, and then people start to feel enclosed and encamped. And so a lot of times people don't see that there's nothing wrong with you. Sometimes people go through those motions of, oh, well, I just need to be better, I need to go to bed earlier. And I mean, that may be true, right? There's a saying, and I love this, and it's super old school, but I love it, and that's early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. But I do believe that, but sometimes that's not what it is, right? You did what you thought is what you were supposed to do with your life, but we're realizing that the American dream so to speak. It was manufactured by someone. That doesn't mean that you were supposed to be on that wavelength.

Absolutely. Well, especially because there's a— there's definitely a gap between you and me, you know, that's obvious from an age and a mindset perspective. And I was fortunate that I had, you know, even though I had 11 brothers and sisters and very much older parents, I'll call them, from the Depression era, they didn't want us to They didn't want us to follow that cookie-cutter expected path. But I, you know, totally get it that, you know, from a very young age, people have these expectations for themselves and other people have expectations of them. How difficult is it for them to kind of break free from that? You know, obviously they come to you to help them do that, but what does it take for them to kind of finally say, Enough is enough. And you know, I need to pick up the phone and call Davina.

A lot of times people are in, um, they spent years trying to fit themselves into the mold and it just doesn't work. So that frustration, which almost comes to despair, and a lot of times I have people that are in despair and who are at the end, like something needs to change or else I'm just not gonna I can't keep going in this direction. I'm depressed. I'm sad. One of the main things that I start to see is that people's physical health starts to deteriorate. There's no time. There's no energy to, I have to eat well and let me work out and get on a good plan. They're just trying to save up enough energy to make it through each day. So at that point, people are normally like, okay, I got to do something else because I will lose my I'll lose myself if I keep on this path, yeah.

Right, right. And so what do they do, what are professionals doing to themselves to create that havoc, to create that self-sabotage on themselves? I mean, what are the, you know, obviously they're making some sort of mistake along the way. What is it that they're missing?

The biggest thing is just not being true to yourself and not giving you permission to be yourself. There are signals, there are signs of things that give you joy, that give you happiness, and people don't give themselves permission to explore that. They're so busy trying to, nope, I gotta get on this path, I gotta keep going, I gotta just push through, 'cause that's what our society tells us, to just suck it up and keep going. And there are times for that, for sure, but you can't keep ignoring your internal signals. Like, we are a whole system in here and in here, And we've gathered great information over the years about ourselves, about our world, and how we should be functioning within it. And people keep ignoring that. That's the very first thing. Start with you, start with what you know and the information you have. And then people don't take a moment to examine that, to say, let me get this on paper. And often when I do that with my clients, they see, I should have never been in this place. I should have never been in this job. I should have never moved to this state, but I just was on autopilot for what success means and for what, you know, the manufactured dream was of what I should be doing. But they don't consult themselves first.

Right.

Do you find that there's a lot of guilt too? Because especially if you're— if there was an expectation put on you from your parents or your legacy, their legacy, and you go to this college and you take— you study a certain profession, then that's going to give you a certain career. And, you know, and then they're all of a sudden find themselves stuck in something that they really never liked from the beginning. You know, do you— are your clients, you know, to that degree, or are they just more that they've changed along the way and their changes along the way have found them at a place where they're no longer satisfied and fulfilled?

Phil? It's a little bit of both, but I see more of the former, where either it was a legacy by their parents, or either they're first-generation college students, and they feel like they have to save everyone. Like, I have to change the narrative of my family legacy. I have to change, you know, our income bracket, our tax bracket that we're within. And they think there's just one way to do it. Because in high school, that's what they teach you, especially if you're at the top of your class, you're in honors or what have you. This is what honors people do, right? There's a track that they put you on, right, starting from high school. And, and because of that, it's hard to— it's implanted so deep in your subconscious that it's so hard to see any anything else as an option, a viable option. It's great to have a goal. Yes, have a goal. We're all about that. But there's multiple ways of getting there.

Right, right, yeah. And I'm just playing it in my head because I can't even imagine— and when you said the honor student situation, I'm thinking, yeah, and that honor student decides to all of a sudden become an artist. And yeah, you know? But that's their passion is to become an artist, and yet, you know, the legacy that you're talking about and that guilt and that obligation and that responsibility that they're feeling, I can't even imagine, you know, needing to then try to find their way breaking through that. So when they have this realization, they come to you for your help, how do they, like, how do you support them and how do they find their way to, kind of say, thank you very much everyone, but this is the path I'm taking. What does it take for them to be able to do that?

I take people through a whole self-discovery process because by the time they get to me, they're so far from who they are. It's about me connecting the dots to bring them back to center, to bring them back to you. And part of that is just shedding ideals. It's shedding, it's reworking thought distortions of, well, I'm supposed to do this. Well, why? And who told you that? And why does it mean so much to you? So it's taking it all the way back, peeling back all of the layers, and we are at a blank slate. Like, this is who you are. Okay, now let's build things on top of that that supports you, not where you're trying to fit in and trying to push yourself into a mold that you just aren't.

Yeah, yeah, and that's what— that's why there's so much turmoil inside. Yeah, you know, and, and yeah, because some— the real them wants to come out, and so it's like creating all types of inter— trust me, I've been through it.

Oh, I'm sure.

And it did. I mean, I wish I knew you then because It did. It just absolutely suffocated me and choked me. And yeah, oh my God, it just caused me to feel like I was drowning until I was able to, you know, just recognize it. Anyway, so you talk about— you talk about in your work the importance of grind. And I'm— and I continue to play in my head these corporate professionals who are trying to then recognize something about them that they're going to come and look, you know, and look for you, but yet corporate professionals often are very robotic, you know, they just— and I guess that's— you explain the grind.

Yeah, so when I— that's like a buzzword, like, oh, I gotta grind it out, you know, if I could just put up with this for another year and a half, I'll be at this point, or even business owners, and as a business owner, you have to grind, there's those couple of years where you're putting in sweat equity and you sacrifice sleep and you sacrifice friends and you sacrifice health and nutrition. And I have a problem with that. I am all about balance. And again, I am naturally the person that I just feel better when I'm productive. Like, I'm not gonna lie, I'm the person that's difficult for me to rest. I'm sitting there watching TV, I'm like, I could be watching TV and I could be sending emails. I'm definitely that person, but And when we break down grind, and even what the word means, it's not a productive thing. Like when you're grinding something, you are forcibly taking the layers to its barest being, to the point where now it's no longer operable. When we grind our teeth, you're ruining your teeth to the point where they're not going to be able to sustain you for the rest of your life.

When you hear—

Right. Grinding sound. It's an annoying thing. And just in the energy of what grind is, you're killing yourself for a goal. And when you're walking in your purpose, there are some things that will just come naturally. There are some opportunities that will come along your path without you having to toil or grind to get there, because that goes back into that whole space of you're still forcing something. Don't get me wrong, hard work is hard work. You have to put in You have to put it in there. What you put out into the world, into the universe, and into your work is the fruit that you get back. Absolutely. But if we look at farmers and gardeners, that's hard work. That is a whole process of planting the seed, making sure that the soil is correct, making sure that they're watering it in certain ways, that all of that, and then it'll produce fruit or harvest. But there is no— The farmer is not out there like, grow, darn it, grow! He's not beating down on the seed that he put in there. He's not just like chucking stuff. He's not— the process is the process. He's put in the work and it will yield something. But just imagine a farmer that's just beating the ground. A lot of us, and a lot of that comes from impatience, I've learned. Oh yeah, oh yeah, I want to get here, uh, or because they're miserable or because they just don't want to— they've come to the realization of, oh, okay, I've been in the wrong space, this is the right space, let me do everything to get there. Um, and we, and we grind, but the journey is the journey. There is a time allotment for that, and we need to enjoy the journey, enjoy the growth. Enjoy being able to look back and say, wow, I have— I've had a mindset shift. That's awesome. And there's peace that comes with that. So as you're working and moving, there's self-confidence, there's self-esteem, and all of these things go together when you go with the flow of your new path. But when you grind, you're not developing as a person. You need that. You need the character. As a business owner, you need the character because things will happen that are out of your control. And if your character is not up to par with all of the grind work you've put in, there'll be some crumbling. There'll be some very naked moments where people are like, what is going on over there? Yeah, same in your career. You have to— your character has to sustain this level that you're trying to get to. So when I say the grind and this buzzword, I'm like, let's Toss that out, please, because it's literally killing us.

Right. No, it is. I mean, again, but you said it from the very beginning, you know, our perceptions of what it is we're supposed to be doing has been manufactured for decades and decades. And that idea of having to work hard, you know, even the saying, "You have to work hard to play hard." Yeah. You know, that's not true.

Right.

You don't have to work hard to play hard. Yeah, so, and yet all these things are so deeply ingrained in our being that it's hard to break those things. Yeah, absolutely. Before we move on, I just want to have all of you who are listening or watching, as we're talking, go to upwardlypavedpath.com, upwardlypavedpath.com, and I just browse, take a look, get to know Davina. Also, she has a 90 Days to Quit Checklist, which is fabulous. 90 Days to Quit Checklist that you definitely want to check out for yourself and just peruse that and the other things that she has going on to kind of maybe get a sense of where you are. And, you know, maybe you need Davina to kind of push you a little bit, you know, harder and further. Which brings me to my next question is, How do you, especially, help people determine, you know, what their purpose is, what their path should be? Is there a process that you take them through?

Absolutely, and part of that is born out of my own process and things I've realized of, okay, okay, a prime example is about transparency. So I'm a person that is considered empathic. I'm an empath, I'm an empathic person, so I go through life feeling. I feel all day long. And for years, I had people say, something's wrong with you. You need to change, you're too sensitive, all these things. And I ate that. And that delayed my purpose and my service to people, because that is how I go through the world. No matter what anybody else says about it, that's how I'm able to help people the best. Because I literally feel what other people are feeling. So that way I can get in the boat with you in order to help you go to the next level, because I'm there, I physically feel it. And so clues like that, what is feedback that you received from people? And again, some of it we'll keep, like when people say, you're really good at X, like I just can't get that as quickly as you can or as naturally as you can. That's an example, but in the same with my example, you're sensitive, you're this, you're that, whoa, whoa, whoa. And people often don't have the text, they don't have the words to describe something, but what does that mean? What is that feedback? Because it's, and I learned something that I thought was my greatest, you know, obstacle, my greatest downfall, is my greatest gift. So what is that saying for you? Let's muddle through and pick through feedback that you've received from others. And then the next thing we do is, what brings you absolute bliss and joy no matter what? No matter what other stimuli is out there, whether you're getting paid for it or not. And I say that because we already know we need provision. Like, that's the world we live in. You have to pay for things, and you should be getting paid. But If you could do this all day long and you didn't have to worry about money, what is that thing?

Right.

And when people think about it, they might say, you know, helping people feel better. Great. Now let's dive into that more. And they might be working an accounting job. Accounting doesn't make people feel better. I don't know.

I have a few nieces and nephews in the same house. They're all accountants and they love it.

They love— well, right.

Oh my God, yes.

We'll take it. Yeah. But for that person, that's not going to work out.

Right. Right.

Yeah. Right. Right. So those are the two key things. What feedback have you received? And then what brings your joy out?

Right.

Yeah.

I love that. I absolutely love that. Because I really, truly, for 25 years, thought I was meant to be a corporate executive. Grinding and climbing this corporate ladder, wanting to, like, you know, break this glass ceiling and be whatever. And the minute I lost that, and all of a sudden I started doing things like this, and, you know, and I started doing my radio and our show, and I started speaking, and I started, you know, serving and coaching, and I was just like, oh my god, you know, I would do this free. Yeah, I would. So yes, and yes, and it's— but it's hard to recognize that. It's hard. Do you find that your clients are kind of resistant, maybe because of fear, maybe because of other things that are coming up for them?

Absolutely. And honestly, it's— what I find most often is it's the past dialogues. It's the song. It's the things that people have said to them over and over and over again. That have just been implanted in every part of their being that have to be rooted up. Like, well, no, because I'm not good at that, or I can't do that, or I can't make money from that. Okay, but who told you that? Because that's not true. That's the biggest thing, getting through those thought distortions and incorrect thinking and having to push off the things that people have said to us, I myself included, I'm still doing that where I'm like, wait a minute, that's not true. But I'm in a place now where I can recognize it, but it takes some time getting out of your head and saying these things out loud because then you have more than one of your senses being involved in it, and it makes this thing real. It's kind of like vomiting, so to speak. You're like, oh, there it is. But it takes it coming out for you to, uh, to see it and to deal with it, right?

Oh, that's hysterical. And I— because you're, um, empathic, I'm very visual. So everything that you say, like the grinding and whatever, creates all the— and then the vomiting. I'm sitting here like picturing, like, because I'm so visual, it immediately turns into an image, an image in my head. Yeah, that's very funny. So what do you tell— and I still just, I love the fact that you really target corporate professionals, you know, not to say that there's anything wrong with, you know, corporate. I mean, I absolutely loved it and it was very good to me for many, many years, but I also recognize that there's a lot of people in there that do have these other dreams and passions and goals for themselves, and it's just a matter of finding someone like you to kind of help them identify that and uncover that, and like you say, self-discover that. So how can these professionals— because they have all these skills, they have all these talents and experiences and expertise— so how can they use them to reach that, that, my, you know, that milestone or that goal of saying, okay, I need to make a shift, I want to make a shift?

Yeah, so coming off of discovering what it is that brings you joy, then you take that and you couple that with your skills. I might have great project management skills, but I don't want to be a project manager. So we often think that, okay, these are my skills, this is what I can do from it. Like, no, you— maybe that's something that's operating in the background that's supporting some of your other skills. But don't keep illuminating that and putting time and energy and effort towards something just because you have it.

Right.

So I tell people, think about, again, that joy and that excitement or whatever that is, or like that client I was mentioning that just likes to help people. Okay, well, data entry, you've been doing that for a long time. That's not helping people. So then we have to reshape that and go another way. And this could be something, a skill that perhaps you're not super sharp at, sharpen, but now you know where to get some mentorship. There are, of course, in the wake of this pandemic, there are so many free courses now, right, that we could take advantage of, or even—

Absolutely.

—podcasts. You're starting to feed that skill that you want to be sharpened, because this is part of what is in your joy package. It's part of what brings that out. So that's the next thing, evaluating, like, what all can you do? Put it all on paper so that you can see it and then determine what does this bring me joy? No. Or, and it's on a scale. It doesn't have to be a yes or no or this. I like doing this. I don't mind doing this. But for those things that we absolutely hate doing, I'd put that at the bottom of your scale and then from there, okay, so as I'm looking for my next step, you have a whole list to say, okay, All right. So that has a lot of data entry. This is at the bottom of my list. So maybe this isn't something that I need to move forward with. Yeah.

Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah.

But it's taking the time to take this inventory of what you have before you can move on to the next thing. And that's the problem. People just say, this is a horrible job. This is a horrible company. I deserve more. And then they leave and they go somewhere else, but they didn't change anything.—

It was the same thing.

It's the same thing, just with a different name and a different boss. It's all suited up differently on the outside, but you are the constant going from one thing to the next. And as a previous job hopper, it's frustrating. It's a waste of your time. You don't have to job hop. You just have to be strategic, and it starts with you. Yeah, right.

Knowing what it is that you want, what you're good at, what you enjoy doing, what your joys are. Um, yeah, I mean, and it seems very sequential and very simple, and yet the self-discovery part— I'm sure you, you must have some stories when it comes to just what people kind of, you know, because it, because it really brings up so much when people start, like, I call it excavating their soul. Yeah, really start digging. Yeah, it brings up a lot of stuff. I know it did for me. And for, you know, um, so what would you say would be the number one thing that you would tell someone to do right now who's listening or watching this, who may— something's coming up for them in this conversation, and they're like, huh, this is interesting, I've been wanting to do this. What would you say for them to do first?

I'd say stop and be quiet. You have— we can't keep charging down a path and then have a thought and say, hmm, I should deal with that later, but then keep going down this path because it never gets dealt with. It's— you have to stop. Stop for a minute before you redirect or go anywhere else, but just stop and be quiet and do a scan. Do a scan of your body. Do a scan of like, how are you feeling? Do a scan of your energy level right now and be in perfect alignment and clarity of where you are today, right now. Right. And then from there, determine where do I want to go next. If you're feeling anxious often or all the time or what have you, then do you want to continue to walk in that anxiety? I assume no. Right. And if that's the case, then you know that something about what you're doing every day is constantly evoking anxiety, you're gonna have to make a different step. And there's lots of steps that you can take, that's reading a book, that's talking to a friend and being like, I need to stop, I can't keep going in this direction. That's taking a course, but either way, you've gotta stop. Stop and be quiet and pay attention to you and what you have going on in that space. In that moment. And then when you're fully aware, then determine, okay, this is the one thing that I need to address first.

Love that. Now, what is your— and how, maybe— your 90 Days to Quit checklist? Yeah, a little bit about that. And everyone, you can always go to, as we're talking, upwardlypavedpath.com. To check it out too, but tell us a little bit about that.

Yeah, so honestly, they say it takes an average 6 months for you to make a good career transition, but I found a way to do that in 90 days. And people often are like, alright, I need to quit my job, so I'm just gonna start applying for stuff. What? Take it back a little bit, because I mean, we're doing it in half the time, so that allows your mind, your brain to catch up with what's going on. And so the checklist is really to guide you step by step in the direction that you need to go so that you're making the most informed decision, so that you're making the most strategic decision about your career, and so that you don't leave the frying pan and jump into the boiling pot. So it's all these safeguards, really, and it's a simple checklist, but to help you to make sure that your next step is a purposeful one and not an emotional one. Not that emotions aren't important. Again, I feel all day long, but they're indicators. And too many people, especially when it comes to quitting a job, they are running on emotions and then they don't make good decisions. And so that's a snippet, and it's burst out of my program, which is the 90-Day Career Fit. So it's taking you through that whole process of self-discovery and career matching and learning how to market yourself, of course, how to brand yourself, and then how to go through the job search process strategically and not emotionally so that you don't end up in the same space 6 months to a year from now. And that's very real. And that's even worse. So let's go for you not to feel worse, but for you to feel fulfilled.

Absolutely. And even that 90-day program is out on Upwardly Paved Path as well, correct? Yep. Awesome, awesome. All right, so let me give everybody some handles that you can— and then we still have a couple minutes to talk, but other than upwardlypavedpath.com, she makes it really easy, and I love guests that do this. So Upwardly Paved Path, just write that down, and that's her Facebook handle, that's her Twitter handle. You can email her at info@upwardlypavedpath.com, and of course on LinkedIn. You definitely want to be following her everywhere on LinkedIn as well as Davina Ware. W-A-R-E, by the way. Davina Ware. W-A-R-E. All right, so what last brilliant tips or comments would you have for our listeners?

I would say I know that this is a scary time, a crazy time, an emotional time, but I think it's still the right time. One, for us not to get distracted. Be involved in a way that is true to you and that makes sense to you, that brings you peace about the situation, but you still have a purpose. You still have people to serve. You still have a purpose and a plan that you should be walking out. And as a result of that, pour into yourself. Some places are opening, but I think we're in the spirit of where we can really reflect on ourselves. And I can't tell people enough, take this time. Yes, it's summer. Summer will happen next year too, but right now, take this time to reflect. I think this is a pivotal moment where people can change the direction of their lives, but you gotta be still. You have to rest. You have to get in one space, mind, body, and spirit, and start to take purposeful steps. But to do that, you got to pull away from everything that's happening right now. I've had to stop watching the news because it was driving me nuts, and I'm in Chicago, so—

Oh wow, yeah, I'm in Atlanta, so yes, I feel okay. I feel for you, I feel for you, right?

It's all the— but all these things should not impede my own personal journey, right? So there's a part, there's a role that we all play and that we all can play, but You can't forego yourself. That's the biggest thing I can say. Don't forego yourself in this time.

We're never getting this back. We're never gonna have this opportunity like we have right now. Ever. Right. We're gonna get out there and start grinding again. Right. We're never gonna have this stillness that might be very frustrating for people and scary for people, but it's a stillness that we all should be taking advantage of.

Absolutely, and what a shame to waste this time, and to your point, that we will never get back.

Yeah, absolutely. I love that, I love that, I love that, I love that, and I'm so happy that I had an opportunity to talk with you and get to know you, and we're definitely going to be, you know, connected and, and whatnot as we go forward. Love it, love it. But everybody, reminders: upwardlypavedpath.com. Check out her 90-day checklist, 90 Days to Quit checklist, and then her other programs that she has out there. And then be sure to follow her Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Upwardly Paved Path. And thank you, Davina. I so appreciate it. Yes, yes, yes, yes. This was fabulous. And I lost one of my sheets, but next week I had my sheet and now I don't. But come back next week, noon Eastern time, for another episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio. And in the meantime, everybody, just have a week full of peace, full of joy, full of love, and full of riches. And we'll talk to you next week. Thanks, Divina. Bye, everybody.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.