Your Questions Answered - How to ask for a coach, start a business while still working...

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever The bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone! Welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio. Yes, I am Bernadette Boas and this is your Ask Me Anything episode, which I once a month, the first Tuesday of the month, will gather up the questions, stories, or challenges that you've been posting. Maybe it's on Facebook, Twitter, a lot of you DM me on Facebook, you'll send me a LinkedIn message, or you just email me directly at BernadetteBoas@QualifierInc.com, and I answer you right away, provide those tips, pieces of advice, maybe some tough love. That you might need to hear so you can take action and continue moving forward. But as I gather them up, I also bring them right here into the Shedding the Bitch Ask Me Anything episode so we can drill into it a little bit deeper. Maybe you want to join in on the conversation and at the same time share to the broader audience who might also be dealing with the same type of situation. Question or challenge. Maybe it's even an opportunity. So that's what we will be getting into today. And I have several questions from you, of which all kind of center around business, owning a business, starting a business. At the same time, for you career professionals that are out there, all the tips and advice that I share are very transferable, whether I'm talking corporate professionals and their challenges, that's relatable into owning a business and vice versa. So everyone gets taken care of and gets some really actionable tips and strategies that they can be using today in order to, like I said, continue moving forward. But before we get into all that, I want to welcome anyone that is new to the program. Thank you so much for joining in. You might be listening to us on blogtalkradio.com on our Shedding the Bitch radio channel, or you might have downloaded us on Apple Podcasts, maybe Stitcher, maybe Simplecast, or any other streaming services. As well as you might be watching on our YouTube channel, our Shed the Bitch TV YouTube channel. So wherever you are joining in, thank you so so much if you are new to the program. And for those of you who are coming back, maybe once, maybe twice, maybe on a regular basis, thank you. We couldn't do it without you. And thank you for all of your likes and your follows and your ratings and your comments. And please continue doing that. Share it with your friends. Definitely get out there and do some likes and follows and ratings because it just helps for us to expand our audience and reach more people so we can help them create the riches in life that they deserve as well. So thank you all very much for that. I want to thank Parker House Virtual Services. They are sponsoring this particular episode, and they are a full-service virtual assistance and social media company, and they serve small to corporate-sized clients. And actually, they're my personal assistants, and you can always reach them at Deborah Parker va@gmail.com and tell Deborah hi for me. All right. Okay. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see what we want to get into. I do want to mention that if you are, even as you're listening to this, as you're watching this, something gets stimulated in regards to a question, story, or challenge you might be having, don't hesitate to reach out even now. You can go down, if you're listening on BlogTalkRadio, you can scroll down into the chat function. Of course, you can, again, DM me on Facebook, send me a LinkedIn message, or email me directly at bernadetteboas@ballofireinc.com. And I usually start off our shows, for those of you that are new, with a rich question, which is based on and sets the foundation for our discussion. Yet, today is all about your questions, so we really don't need to be doing that. So each one of these questions that you've provided me will give you some idea of what it is that you can leverage from those questions and from the advice and tips that are received. Okay, let's see. Going over the list of questions first so you get an idea of what we're going to be talking about. One individual, she was asking about what can she be doing now while she has a job to then get ready for then starting her own job. So we're going to just talk about that. And then I get this question somewhat often, but it was just brought up recently in regards to how can I ask my boss to get me a leadership coach, get some coaching for me? What, what do I need to tell them? What do I need to, you know, ask for? What do I need to know? About it. And then, uh, a young woman reached out to me and we had a phone call last week in regards to how do I effectively reach out to prospective clients without it being, you know, like ugly and salesy and a cold call and something that they just kind of don't even pick up the phone or respond to my emails. How can I do that more effectively? So I do get responses and I do kind of get that connection that I'm looking for. All right, so I want to just lastly, before we dive in, mention some of the great programs that we've had and the great guests that we've had over the last several weeks. Last week we talked to Jason Wright of Intentionally Inspirational, and he talked to us about Fueling your fear or turning your fear into fuel in order for you to really use what you're scared of, maybe what failures you've, you've experienced in your life and what adversities and challenges you've overcome and how you've turned those into and how to turn those into fuel so you can continue to thrive and prosper and move forward and achieve the goals that you have for yourself. So that was an awesome conversation. And again, both, both of them, because I both broadcast on any of your podcast streaming services as well as we videotape them and put them right into our Shed the Bitch TV channel on YouTube. So check those out. Be sure to subscribe and follow and like and all that kind of good stuff. Um, and then we had talked to, uh, Cheryl Johnson about the fact that failure is not an option. It is critical to your success for you to fail. All right, and a lot of people don't like that word, but it's a critical, it's a critical experience to embrace, is failure. And then, and then we talked to Tammy Lee Lynn Guns, all about navigating obstacles with ease, and she was a hoot, and she automatically kind of put you into an easy relaxed, fun, and casual state of being in our conversation. So be sure to check her out if you want to really understand how to kind of deal with everything but do it with ease and grace. So that was a great conversation as well. Shed the Bitch Radio, you can find it on BlogTalk, on Apple Podcast or iTunes, any of your streaming services, and again on our Shed the Bitch TV YouTube channel. Okay. All right. So let's get into this. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. Your questions and my tips, advice, and sometimes tough love. All right. The first one is, what can I do in my current job to prepare to start my own business? Now, what I found so brilliant about this is the understanding that this individual has, that she has. In regards to the stability and the opportunity she has in keeping her current job while wanting to dip her toe into figuring out how to start her own business. And I'm seeing this a great deal, as probably many of you are right now with everything that, that is going on. Maybe someone— you have lost your job Maybe you're unhappy in your job and you're ready to kind of own and declare that and finally get moving into doing something that you want. And maybe you kind of are or have considered and started, you know, tippy-toeing into starting your own business, but you also are pulling back because you really want to make sure that you do it right. So my first comment and observation is Congratulations, brilliant in thinking and knowing that you have an opportunity to keep the stability, especially financially, in your current position while you are testing the waters of starting your own business. Because it's— we won't get into all of this, but starting your own business is not easy. And I will simply say too that Be very careful about all the noise that is out on Facebook, predominantly Facebook and Twitter, even LinkedIn, and dabs into Twitter, about how easy people are making it seem that you can start your own business tomorrow and start generating money immediately. Let me just tell you, I've been in business for myself for 12 years. It is not as easy as these individuals are making it sound. And I'm certainly not going to, you know, be that get-quick-rich type of coach for you either. So just walk cautiously, do your homework, do your due diligence. And, uh, and if I'm going to give you a piece of advice, which is what I shared with her, Julie— what I shared with Julie was seek out other business owners. Seek out business owners at various stages in their business. So seek out new ones, the ones that have started in the last, you know, 12 to 15 months. Get their feedback, get their input, get their ideas, get their, you know, lessons learned, get their ups and downs in their first year, 15 months. And then go to someone who's been in business for 3 to 5 years and really ask them about their experiences. And then again, someone more seasoned, 10, 15 years. 20 years and kind of get their, their input simply because of the fact that it's smart to do so. And you just need a real reality check as far as what it really takes to start a business. It's not just as easy as getting a website, or you don't even need a website. Turn on your camera, you know, come up with a product or a service and start selling away. It's not that easy. And should you want to learn more about that, actually, well, we can throw that into one of our Ignite Thursdays, um, online training, live training that we do. And to do that, you could just join our Shift to Riches private group on Facebook because I do host a live training session every Thursday at 1 PM Eastern time. And we pick kind of these subjects that are really top of mind to all of you, and I dive into them and make sure that you do have some very actionable tips and strategies, tools and techniques to address them. Okay, so that would actually be a great topic for one of those. So, Julie and everyone else who is considering starting your own business and you do currently have a job, keep your job, keep that, that financial stability, uh, and, you know, block out time in your schedule, uh, whether that's, you know, evenings, you get up a little earlier before you go into work, or maybe it's on the weekends where then you are, you know, putting, uh, putting things in place to start your own business. I've lost my words a little bit there. Um, but, you know, then you can use that time outside of your of your job hours, your money hours if you want to look at it that way, to where you can then start dabbling into starting your own business. Because what you definitely want to do is you want to almost test drive that you want to be a, you want to be a business owner, that you are an entrepreneur, that you do want to kind of move away from the stability of a paycheck every week or every 2 weeks and go at it for yourself. But the caution here that I would have— and it's not a caution for you to then hesitate and not take a risk and not start test driving, you know, doing your own business— I just want to make sure that anyone out there is aware that the idea that you might initially come up with for a business may not be the idea or the business opportunity that's really gonna drive you to get up every day and work your tail off and go out and kill, 'cause in order, as a business owner, in order to eat, you need to go out and kill. And that's a little bit dramatic, but you get the point, in order to then earn the income. So recognize and consider a couple of things when it comes to test driving starting your own business. The first thing I would think about is there are many business owners who have taken a hobby that they are passionate about, and yet once they turn that into a business and now they're operating it as a business, it's no longer their hobby. Then they get a little bit angst and they get a little bit discouraged and a little bit frustrated because something that they loved and enjoyed doing for themselves as a hobby is now a business that's ruling every decision that they're making, ruling every minute of the day, ruling whether or not they eat or not. And now they can't just simply enjoy it as a passion or a hobby. They're, they're feeling kind of the pressure of it being now a monetized business. So really think hard and use the time that you have while you have stable income coming in, use it to not only test drive if you want to be a business owner, test drive the, the product or the service or the business that you're looking to get into to ensure that it is something that really drives you. I mean, it has to be an unbelievable magnet of a why. Why do you want to do this? Why do you want to work so hard? Why do you want to give up the financial stability stability, why do you want to blah blah blah. You really need to ensure it's something that, you know, really kind of is a calling, is your purpose, is your why. Because again, it's not easy running your own business. It's not easy not having that stability and that security of a paycheck. It's not easy to have to get up and do all the mechanics unless you're, you know, blessed with financial resources to where you can hire a team from the very beginning, which I would not advise, by the way, but that's for another day. So consider you have financial stability while you have a job and you want to dabble into starting your own business. You want to test drive both being a business owner as well as test driving the product or the service or the business that you want to get into, that it is something that you're passionate about. And then ensure that you're taking this time while you have money coming in, again blocking the time before work, after work, the weekends, to really then educate yourself on what it is and what it means to be a business owner, to be an entrepreneur. What it means to— and what, let me back up and say, and in that understanding of what it is to be a business owner and entrepreneur, you need to understand the differences between those two, which you can go to a recent Ignite Thursday training session that we had. You have to be a member of our Shift to Riches Facebook group, so simply join that group and you can get access to these videos. That we talked about the difference between managers and leaders and business owners and entrepreneurs, because there is a difference. So you want to use this time as you're dabbling into starting your own business to educate yourself on those differences, those values, those traits, those qualities, those skills that it takes to be a business owner versus an entrepreneur versus a career professional. And then at the same time, you really want to learn about what it takes to operate a business. Because at first you're going to be a manager. At first, you know, you are going— you're, you're leading yourself, so you can consider yourself a leader. But you really are going to be doing the mechanics, the tactical, the technical, the administrative, the, you know, operational side of a business before you are able to then delegate and hire and build a team and then move yourself out and move yourself into more of a leadership role. So take the time now to understand all of the mechanics. And I advised Julie, and I would advise all of you, one of— well, my favorite getting started in business book is Michael Gerber's E-Myth Revisited. And no, he doesn't pay me to tout him. But I still have it to this day and I still talk to my business owner clients in regards to it and have them read it and leverage it. And I've talked about it on recent shows as well. So, so I recommended to Julie and would recommend to you as well, take a, take a read of that book. It's very simple but very powerful in really understanding the mechanics of running your own business. Okay, so this is a great learning program. Personal professional development time while you have stability and financial income to also get yourself educated. Okay? And then, and then like I said, I've been saying to time block, set up a calendar. If you're serious about this, you'll do this. Uh, so set up a calendar of time that you are, you're committed to devote and dedicate to starting your own business while you have income. Block that time out, consider them appointments where you keep them as a commitment to you that you're going to use this time for whatever stage you're at to really test drive and work your way into starting your own business. So definitely do some time blocking there. And then what is gonna be huge for you is start reaching out. If you don't already have a posse, a tribe, a mastermind, or a circle of influence— you can consider them all the same, I tend to call them circle of influence— then start building it. Start building those people around you that will, um, provide you mentoring, coaching, education, provide you support, soundboarding, masterminding, strategy. Accountability, it will be huge as you go and start your own business, ensuring that, you know, what you're committing to and what you're saying, you know, actually gets done, and the plans that you're, you're creating and executing actually get accomplished, and the challenges and the issues, the roadblocks and the opportunities that are, you know, all of a sudden being thrown at you are being addressed and being looked at. All of those things are part of you Managing, operating, and leading a business. So ensure that you have the, the people around you, not just from a team resource perspective, but those people that will, you know, give you sound advice, give you that accountability, give you that guidance and that mentoring that you need, be good referral sources for you, be good strategy partners with you, be good affiliate arrangements for you. So build that circle of influence. And I had a conversation in regards to this when it came to career mapping and business mapping, and we did a live video session on this. So again, feel free to join our Shift to Riches Facebook group and you can get access to all of those types of trainings. Okay, and then what I told Julie and I would tell you, and then we'll move on from this, but start slow. Start slow. You're going to want to just go at it, you know, like a, like a speed train. Start slow, work, you know, test drive, work your way into it, and then just, you know, you'll, you'll know, you'll know, and you'll actually logically figure out what that transition time is that you actually go from leaving your job and devoting full-time to this business. At the same time, at the same time, I really want to ensure that, you know, should you start test driving and should you start realizing that maybe this is not the path that you should be taking, sweet! Pat yourself on the back, congratulate yourself, give yourself a big hug. It's awesome that you were able to use this time with little risk financially, time-wise, anything, um, to figure out whether or not being a business owner is for you. This product, service, or business that you chose is what is going to drive you and whether or not, you know, this is the direction, the path, and the legacy that you want to build and leave behind. So congratulations, and be okay with the fact that you might have started down a path of, you know, starting your own business, and you decide, you know what, this isn't for me, or this product isn't for me, whatever. That's awesome. That's awesome. You did it with the least amount of risk, and you came to a very clean and clear answer. And that's all you can ask for. That's all you can ask for. Now, if it all of a sudden starts screaming, yes, yes, this is what I want— someone actually reached out to me and said, um, and it was different from Julie, but her first part was, I have found my purpose. I'm in a 9-to-5, I make really good money, and and I'm scared to death to pull the trigger. You know, can you, can you help? So this is just— and I gave her very much the same type of advice that I'm giving you, and I gave Julie. This is a great opportunity while you do have that stability to test drive, and whatever the answer is, the answer is, and you congratulate yourself for taking that chance and taking that risk and taking that time, and you move on. Okay, all right, all right, all right, all right. Let's see the next one. How do I ask for a leadership coach? She asked for— now you might hear a number of terms out there when it comes to coaches, and we are talking in the sphere of personal or professional life, not in sporting life, because I'll miss that a lot. Not a lot, not a lot. But they'll say, I keep asking, you know, looking for a coach online, and I keep getting athletic coaches or fitness coaches or, you know, sports coaches. And I'm like, well, you need to get a little bit more specific and refined. So she wanted to understand how to go and ask for a leadership coach, and she used that term. So I simply asked her to do some, you know, self-discovery first. And so I propose this to any of you out there, and regardless if you're going and asking a boss— so obviously she works, you know, for a company as opposed to running her own company— but you might even be the business owner, you might even be a stay-at-home or whatever else, and yet you are recognizing that a coach would be good for you in whatever, you know, respect and aspect of your life. That you're seeking. So I simply asked her, and would suggest to you, first forget about the term or the, or the title— leadership coach, executive coach, life coach, personal coach, transformation coach. There's endless number of titles that people use and create around the service they're providing. So first, just simply lay out What is it that you need? What are you looking for? And so, you know, pull out that pen and paper, that journal and pen that I always talk about, and just start asking yourself, all right, what is it that I'm looking for? What is it that I need? What personal areas of my life do I need work on? What professional areas of my life do I need work on? Get a little bit more refined and say, What are the skills that I'm looking to develop? I'm looking to enrich. I'm looking to even initially learn. What are those disciplines? What are those habits? What are those subject matter areas that I'm looking to just get more expert in? So just ask yourself a lot of questions about what it is that you really are looking for. And then you could change that what you need into then saying, okay, what do I want? Because what you need, you know, can be a totally different answer than what is it that you're— that you want. So what do you want in seeking out and having a coaching relationship? Because the need might be, I need to work on my public speaking skills, I need to work on my negotiation, I need to work on my leadership, my way I engage and collaborate and communicate and actually lead my team or lead my life. But at the same time, it could be very specific about, I want public speaking skills, I want communication skills, I want to learn how to negotiate better, so forth and so on. The want could be, I just want to be more polished. I want to be more pull together. I want to be more respected and more influential. So the want could, could look differently than your need. All right, so what do I need? What do I want? And what are the outcomes? What are the goals and the objectives that you have for yourself? It would be kind of your next series of series of questions, because again, you may have a personal or professional aspiration or goal that you're going after. I want this new position. I want this new job. I want this new business opportunity. I want this new relationship. I want this new fitness or health goal. I want this new, you know, fill in the blank. Okay, just simply fill in the blank for yourself as to what it is that you need, you want, and the goal and the objective that you're looking for. And what is that result? Now, you're getting a little bit, you know, here you're getting a little bit more and more refined, right? You have this goal that, you know, is going to be very general at first. And then, of course, as your coach, I would say, okay, turn that into a very SMART, specific goal. So what are the specifics about it, the measurements of it? The actions you're going to take around it? Is it realistic? And what is the timetable? So again, going back to those other examples, you want a particular promotion or role by— in the next 12 months, you know, or by the end of 2021, or you want to, you want to get a new job, a particular type of job, maybe at a particular employer, you know, by the end of you know, spring or the end of second quarter, whatever the case might be. And you can use that. I want to ask for a promotion. I want to ask for a relationship, you know, so forth and so on. So you're looking at your need, you're looking at your want, you're looking at the goals, objectives, and the outcomes. Now you're thinking to yourself, okay, but I would just want to ask my boss for a coach. Well, you need all of this information in order to then kind of put together your business case. Some people will call it a pitch or an ask, and I always say build a business case because that's how they're going to look at it. And so that will be my second piece of advice, is you have to recognize going in that you want to put yourself in the, in the shoes of your boss. What are, are they going to need to consider and evaluate and make a decision on? And what is going to cause them to object or say no or reject. I have a hair all over me that's driving me crazy. I'm sorry. So what is, what is that, what is, you know, that mindset of your boss? Because if you can get into his or her head and mind and agenda, and objections, then you could build the case to react, react and respond to those even before they bring them up. So if you really sit down and look at this, you know, in a complete 180, then you're going to be able to, to look at all the things that you're going to, to respond to. You're going to need it to respond to because these are going to be the questions that they ask. Okay, so I want you to really look at what is, let's just say, what is Joanne going to be thinking about when I go and ask for a coach? Well, she's going to be wanting to, the first thing in her head is probably going to be, okay, how much is this going to cost me? Or it's going to be, well, we don't do, we don't hire coaches. Or I've never hired a coach. I don't even hire a coach. So why would I even consider hiring someone else? These are all the different— this is the conversation you need to have your— with yourself, because this is going to be what's going on in some— inside someone's head. Not everyone's head. Some are very, you know, kind of on top of why a coach is going to be very beneficial to one of their employees or to themselves. But you also want to look at, okay, what am I going to get hit up with as far as objections? So they're going to be looking at those things. So you really want to understand for yourself first. What are those challenges? What are those opportunities? What are those gaps that I have that then would lend itself greatly to benefiting from coaching? And what are those benefits? And what are those outcomes? What is that commitment I am willing to make? And how am I going to contribute to this so-called coaching arrangement? And how, more importantly for your for your boss is going to be not even how much it's going to cost. It's going to be, what is it I'm going to be able to learn, embed, take action on, and contribute to my current role? Either in my role, my role as a team member, my role as a boss, my role to my boss. How is everything that I'm going to to learn going to contribute to the opportunity and the growth and the development of the team and the results of the team. So you, you know, all of this is going to then get wrapped up in you kind of painting a story around why coaching would be a vital, valuable, invaluable, and opportunity for not only yourself, but for your team, your boss, and the company as a whole. So all of these, you know, pieces of information get pulled together into a business case of which you share, you know, in regards to a story. And what I mean by that, really quickly, is you might have a scenario, you might have a situation, you might have a recent experience or encounter that would help your boss— maybe your boss even knows about it, or they would at least relate to it as you go to share your story— that it would easily help them picture why coaching might be a great opportunity for you. And we all relate to stories as opposed to a bullet list of, you know, of reasons facts, benefits and results, challenges. So if you know your boss, if you know how they relate, if you knew how they communicate, if you know how they process information, some of them will be more visual, will be more relatable to stories. Some are those bulleted people, just give me the facts, just spew them off, you know, that business case so I can make a decision. Others want to really live in it, get into it, relate to it. So you need to pick and choose how you package all of this information so you can, you know, present it to your, to your boss. Now, before you even do that, here you're gathering all the facts and the figures, you're wrapping it up in this pretty, pretty bow. You also could go and do your own research first as far as the cost of a coach. Are there any other coaches being utilized within the company? Um, are there any other peers or, or, uh, team members or senior managers that have bosses or that have coaches? And so do some research internally as well. Go to HR and find out, is there a personal professional development program that includes coaching, mentoring, Sponsorship Advocates, which we talked about a few weeks ago as well and had an Ignite Thursday training session, of which if you join our Shift to Riches group, you would have access to that as well. So go and ask and see if there, you know, is programs, is there is a budget, and find out, ask specifically, how does that then pertain to me? How can I leverage that opportunity, that benefit that they might have within the HR department, the learning and development department. If they don't, then— and this goes to your boss as well— if they don't, then you could be using all of this research that you're doing, all this information gathering that you're doing, to educate them on the values of coaching and the benefits of coaching and what it brings to an organization. So consider all of that before then you get a pretty bow, or wrapped around that, that list, that category of, of data points that you've gathered, put together that pitch, that presentation, that ask, and then go and present it. Now, this is where most fall down, is they do all that research, they do all that analysis, they do all that compiling of a business case, of a story, but then they never ask. And let me tell you, 99% of supporting her in this question is simply asking. But you don't want to ask without having all the facts and all the data to support it and having the business case, because your boss is not just going to openly— if you go in going, I, I want a leadership coach, how do I go about doing that? They're going to be like, why? For what purpose? What value? What is it going to cost me? What are you going to do with it? So instead of, you know, the whole thing about kind of selling and really being able to negotiate and close really effectively is ensuring that you have all the answers before you even present your, your pitch or your ask, and before they have an opportunity to come up with a tons of objections because you've done your homework. And that's the key. But the next key is doing and asking, actually asking. All right. And if you ever wonder why someone has something that you don't, it's because they've asked for it. They might not even— kind of, not that they don't deserve it, but they might— they might not even deserve it. They might not even be qualified. They might not even be at a level for something, but they asked. So you need to ask. All right. Okay, we need to move on. Um, all right, so the next question is— I'm gonna just put my notes right here— is how can I connect effectively with executives who could use my services? Uh, now this was another young woman who, uh, reached out to me via LinkedIn based on some of the posts and things that I've shared over the last month or so. And she reached out and we happened to get into a conversation. It started off in a whole different area of what it is that she was reaching out to me for, and then it slowly moved into this space of— and this was Lisa— and this space of, how do I, you know, I'm— well, actually what she said was, I am reaching out especially through LinkedIn. I am reaching out and sending invites to these individuals that I think I can, you know, really help them with. She has her own IT consulting business. I'm not getting a lot of responses. I'm not getting a lot of engagement. And I asked her how she was going about doing it. Now I'm gonna beg all of you, especially especially those of you on LinkedIn, stop spamming me and anybody else with initial requests to link in that also includes a sales pitch. Because I know you've received— received them. I'm sure you received, if you're like me, hundreds of them a day. And what they basically look like is Hi, I've noticed you on LinkedIn, or we're connected to a lot of mutual connections, and I thought I would, you know, I would reach out and ask to be part of your network. And by the way, do you need my marketing services? Do you need my IT services? Do you need my widget? Do you need whatever the case might be? In the same invite, the very first one, before even knowing me, liking me, or trusting me. They're, you know, they're pitching me. And I don't have the opportunity to even know, like, or trust them. So stop it. And now, I'm not saying that this was the path Lisa was taking, and it was not. However, I could see that she or anybody else would kind of go down that. Based on what they see on LinkedIn as to what's going— what, you know, what's going on as to what they see in their message stream. And it's exhausting having to at least say, happy to link in, no thanks. Happy to link in, no thanks. Happy to link in, no thanks. Because that is what's happening to me. I'm not going to— I'm not going to engage on your ask. Before you've even— and/or, and/or I've even hit the connect button, the LinkedIn button. I'm not going to do it. And no one— and I should say, majority of other people are not going to do it. So stop. So what I told Lisa was I gave her a few ideas, and I'll give you the same. So first, you know, keep that like, know, and trust in mind. Certainly invite them to link in with you. But come up with something more creative than the standard that everyone else is using. Come up with something that's going to make you stand out. Or just simply hit that button that doesn't send anything but an invite that doesn't say anything and let them accept it. And once they do, then spend time kind of getting to know them. Go through their posts, go through their articles, go follow them, like their posts. Comment on their articles authentically, by the way, authentically. I mean, actually read it, actually engage with it. Don't just hit the like, like, like, like, like button, but actually get to know this individual. Because as they— as you're doing that, they're gonna see in their notifications that you and whomever else liked, commented, followed, whatever. And now they're seeing your name and your face on a regular basis. So then, you know, 5, 6, 7 communications later, you all of a sudden say, hey, I think there's something I might be able to help you with. Would you have time for a call? They may, they may be more inclined to accept. All right, so I'll get off that soapbox about that, but please, better etiquette on LinkedIn. Um, so then what I also suggested, and I would suggest to anybody, is a great way— and maybe because I've had my radio show for so long— but a great way to engage the, the audience that you want is engage them. So I could— I don't necessarily do this intentionally, but I could go out and, and ask, prospect radio guests based on the fact that I want to do business with them. Um, I, I had a friend of mine, a colleague, Amy, uh, back, gosh, 10, 12 years ago. She did this so effectively. She had a radio show, and she had the type that you would come into studio. So it was based here in Atlanta, but she'd go like kind of far outside the Atlanta space, and she would invite business owners that are in her target market to be a guest on her show to showcase them, but at the same time for them to get to know her and her to get to know them. And now she's building this like, know, and trust. So that's an opportunity for you with all the podcasts and the blogging that is done. Invite them to be a contributor, you know, invite them to— or even look over their articles, look over their posts, use it as a piece of a blog that you writing and reference them, link to them. Let them see that you're, you're actually getting to know them and you're leveraging what it is that they have to share with you. All right. The other idea that I shared with her was she could always come up with, because she is a blogger and she doesn't do a podcast or a radio show, but she could use her blog and her article writing on LinkedIn she could use it to create an interview series where then you're, like I do with my radio show, or someone could, you are reaching out to them saying, hey, I'd love to interview you on this topic to get your thought leadership, get your ideas, get your commentary that I'm then going to reference in an article or a blog. And I'd be able to link back to you and your website, so forth and so on. And now you're, you're getting an opportunity 15, 20 minutes of your time— that's what you're asking for— to get to know them while you're also creating great content that can be used. So it's a win-win all around, right? Well, you know, you could take that a step further and know— and this was the lesson I learned 12 years ago when I left corporate and I was given an outplacement service arrangement for like 6 months, and I leveraged it greatly even though I knew I was going to start my own business, not go back to I leveraged that program and it was awesome. It was with Right Management, shout out to them. And so the one thing that they taught me, and this goes to those of you looking for a job, and maybe you're desperate for a job, but it also goes to somebody like Lisa who has her own business and looking for engagement and building her list of prospective clients. Is the other thing too would be no one is going to pick up a phone when they have an idea that the person on the other end is seeking a job. Now you might not even be seeking it from that person, but that's how they're kind of, you know, processing it. They're saying to themselves, oh gosh, I don't know about a job. I don't know about a company. I don't know how I'm going to be able to help this person. So if I don't answer the phone, I won't disappoint. Point them, you know, and I won't stress myself out. So no one really wants to respond to that. No one wants to respond to a cold call of you just pitching them before you even know them. The know, like, and trust goes to whether you're looking for a job or whether you're, you know, looking for clients. So instead— this goes for your job person and your, you know, prospective client person— instead, reach out to individuals, managers, hiring managers, prospective clients, and say, hey, I'm looking for your thought leadership, your ideas, your take on what's going on right now in blank. So those of you looking for a job, you could be picking up— instead of asking if they know anyone, do you know of a job, do you know anybody that has a job, you're gonna— you're not gonna get the response that you want. Instead, say, hey, Hey, can I pick your brain for 10 or 15 minutes to really understand the marketplace out there? Can I pick your brain for 10 to 15 minutes to understand what problems, what challenges are going on out there in the employment space or in the, you know, in running a business space? Come up with something that you can engage them for their thought leadership, their ideas, their strategies, their commentary, as opposed to you're asking them for something when they don't even know you. So it goes back to like, know, and trust before you ask. Okay, so that is— so that is basically what I had, that I had mentioned to Lisa as ideas that she could be using to really kind of connect with the prospective clients that she wants without it being so ask, ask, ask, ask. Ask, ask, buy from me, buy from me, buy from me, buy from me when they don't even know you. Okay? All right. So as I mentioned, if you, as you know, we're talking through this, have a question, story, or challenge that you're dealing with, at any time post them out on Shedding the Bitch Radio on blogtalkradio.com. You can put them right there in the comment section. You can Facebook me at any time on Shining the Bitch. You can DM me in Facebook, send it a private message on LinkedIn, or email me at BernadetteBoas@FallOfFireInc.com. Let me give you the tips, advice, and the support, maybe tough love, that you need in order to move forward. All right? And from there, I would just wish you a beautiful, rich week. And I will have you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time for another episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio. Thanks, everyone. Bye! Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.