Get Ahead by Letting Go

Welcome back, everybody. Well, we all know that what we do for work can become a big part of our identity. And it makes sense because, get this, the average person can spend more than 90,000 hours working in a lifetime.

That's a lot of work.

Beth Ridley is a leadership expert and workplace culture consultant, and she's here to tell us how to let go in the workplace while becoming a better employee. Good to have you here, Beth.

Hi. Good morning. Good morning. Yeah, I love this.

So interesting. Such an idea to let go in order to be successful. Is that the secret sauce of what's making people successful in business?

It's counterintuitive. I know the normal thought is, you know, work hard, double down, be all in, indulge. Exactly. But the research shows the opposite. The research shows that we can back away and sort of have a separate identity outside of work and not only identify ourselves with work or absorb ourselves in work so much, we're more productive. We don't burn out as much. We're more likely to get promoted and achieve our professional goals. So very counterintuitive. I research as a.

It doesn't seem like that would lead to more productivity or even recognition at work. So in terms of letting go of our work identity, it's identified as something that's a good idea. How can we do it, though?

Okay, so I think the how to do it is actually kind of easy, but it's like the mental mindset of letting go that's gonna be the hardest thing. Because we associate ourselves with work so much, especially in this country, we can sort of get into the reasons why, but some of it is making the mental decision that by investing in other parts of myself, I thrive as a whole person, and that will spill over into the work. So I can give lots of tips on what to do, but it starts first with the own mindset.

Okay, so tell us what the advantages are of that then. Why is this so important to hold your soul identity and then have these benefits that'll come to you because of it?

Yeah. So the research shows there's like really three benefits. One is more self confidence. So if I can see that I'm good at things and I have interests that are multifaceted and not just singular focused on work. I have a better sense of self, I have more confidence, and that spills over into work. That might mean that I can show up in meetings and be more confident. It can mean that I can ask for the promotion or ask for the raise or negotiate or advocate for myself with more confidence because I Feel that there's not so much at stake just based on my job.

I like that.

So that's one thing. Resilience is another thing. Right. So it's rare that everything is going to go well at work when you want it to. And so when things don't go well, if things are going well in other aspects of your life because you've been investing in them, your hobbies, your relationships, when you have bumps in the road at work, you're able to recover more because, again, it's not like catastrophic, because that's not the only thing that defines you.

Yeah.

So I think resilience is a big thing. And then also when you have a lot of interest, you see the world from a broader perspective. And so you bring fresh ideas, a new way of thinking and looking at things to solve your work problems, and it makes you more creative and innovative.

I think sometimes as moms, working moms in particular, we sometimes try to distance ourselves from having an identity outside of work because it seems like you're like a little bit at cross purposes. You know, you think about your managers, and I don't think our managers are like that, but I can see how some people would try to distance themselves from those other interests and that other part of their life to look like they're more committed. Why do you think we define ourselves so much by our work?

Some of it is cultural. I think in the United States, we over rotate on work. So over the holidays I spent some time in Greece and. And it was kind of a different vibe. We work really, really hard here. And in fact, even a lot of the Greek people are like, oh, Americans, you guys work so hard. And it's true. And there's like a lot of pride in that. But it also means that we're sort of used to identifying ourselves by our job. So you go to a party and the first thing somebody asks you is, oh, what do you do always?

Exactly.

So you gotta have an answer and the answer has to sound kind of good, right?

Yeah.

So I think some of it is cultural. Some of it is also because it is cultural. We spend so much time at work, it is the one place where we get validation. And, you know, we want to hear that we're doing a good job from our boss and our co workers because we're at work so much. And then social media doesn't help.

Right.

So we feel like, you know, we get a lot of validation by our professional accomplishments. And you go online and you see everybody is like, crushing it. Of course, online you feel Bad. And you think, like, I gotta double down more on work and what I do for a living.

Yeah, it's so true.

Okay, so how do we fix this? How do we strike a better balance between the two?

Okay, so a couple of tips. One, since people are maybe setting their professional goals for the year, always set one personal goal as well. And actually maybe talk to your boss and say, this is a personal goal that I'm putting in. So just as you would hold me accountable for my professional goals, ask me about my personal goals. And it should be a personal goal that has nothing to do about work. And if your boss pushes back, maybe show them this video which send to them all the way back.

Ridley said on the Morning Blank.

That's exactly right. Validated by the two of you. Yeah, right. Yeah. But so, for example, my personal goal is to read more novels. Because if I'm reading anything, it's about leadership and workplace culture. Right. But I don't read anything that is nothing.

Exactly.

So always set one personal goal. The other thing is schedule time to invest in your hobbies or protect the time. Right? So generally, if it's on the calendar, we may do it. So if it's like, read, like, schedule time to read. If it's run or work out or take a new pottery class, schedule it and you're more likely to protect that time. And then the third one that I'm actually really having fun with. And my challenge is for the two of you to do it as well. The next time somebody asks you what do you do, share something that really has nothing to do about work, but another aspect of your personality.

I love that.

So I'm telling people I'm a reality TV show connoisseur. Honestly, I don't have a lot of hobbies, but the only one I have is watching all the Real Housewives.

I watch all the dating shows.

So I'm literally a little junkie on that.

But what I'm thinking about is you meet somebody at a party or some sort of networking event and you talk to someone and they say, oh, I'm into workplace leadership. And what? That's interesting, maybe, but the fact that you're like, I'm a reality TV show junkie. I'm like, I'm all over her.

Yes. And you know what? You'd be surprised how many people are as well, like, closet. Because I used to not say anything because it feels like low brow and I have to keep it above board. But I'll tell you, people put their drinks down, they're like, which ones do you want? And so it's a nice way to make connections with people. It shows that you do more than what you are hired to do. And so, Tiffany, I was thinking you can tell people that you're a potted plant therapist because you talk to them.

Whatever you saw how they're thriving.

Beth, don't you judge my plan.

That's great having you. This is such an awesome topic. And if you know someone who really can use this advice, we have good news because this segment will be on our website for you to re watch anytime. Go to themorning blend.com share it with your boss. There you go.