Mary Chuy: When You Don't Have Time to Cry

So today I am speaking with Mata Chudi about how she leads with optimism in these challenging times. And so Mari is a actress, playwright, director, producer, wife, mom, all around super creative. Go get.

Me that way.

I'm sure I left plenty of things out.

Well, I am now the teacher. I'm a teacher.

Homeschooling, Right.

I'm sure all moms are teachers right now.

Yeah. No kidding.

Yeah. So, yeah, I'm a teacher. I'm a chef. I mean, I always love to cook, but now I cook like a normal mom, you know, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

You are wearing lots of hats like all of us, but look at how you know, optimistic and positive. And you've got a smile. You're always laughing. So I want to ask you.

What.

Is your current emotional state of mind today? And have you always been able to wake up with a smile on your face, even from the beginning of the coronavirus?

No, it's been days where I've been really sad, worried, and I don't know if you can hear my voice, but for the last two weeks, I think already I feel better today. But I was coughing a lot. So it was moments where I like, oh, my God, do I have the virus? Because I was coughing this dry cough that I never had before. And I feel like all of us right now, everyone who gets sick right now, even if it's with a regular flu or a little bit of cough, immediately we think we have the virus. Right? So, yeah, I was miserable for many days because of this. It's so uncomfortable. I was not able to sleep at night, and then I was half asleep during the day. And, yeah, it's been some days where just, like, watching the news or seeing all the posts about how many people are dying, and not only in the United States, but all over the world. And it's scary. It's really scary. But, yeah.

Do you have one tactic or tip that really works for you to kind of lift you out of that feeling of fear, anxiety?

Yes. Well, I like to meditate. So I put my. A lot of meditations that you can find on YouTube. I like to meditate. I like to watch videos, Netflix a lot. My kids always, no matter what, how I feel like you have to get up and I'm hungry, and now we have to do this. And it's fun.

Gabby, Someone else I interviewed said, you know, the kids really keep it real because their needs don't stop. So they're, as much as you want to stay in bed all day, it's nice because they force you to get up, make them breakfast, get this. So being forced just to be active, I think sometimes helps us to get out of this state of doom and gloom.

Exactly, exactly. And that's where I like. For example, I have three kids. You never met my older daughter, but I have three kids. The oldest one is 27. And then I have a grandson and I have my two little ones at home. But they have two different personalities. Gabby likes to have her schedule just like in school, so she has to start at 8 with whatever class she was supposed to have at school. And she makes me do the gym class with her. So that immediately puts me, you know, in a energetic mood. And then Joe is more laid back and he's study on his own, but he's very sweet and he always come and comfort me and say I love you, mommy, and everything will be okay. So yeah.

Let me ask you this. I do know about your background, right. So you came to the United States from Mexico when you were 16 years old with the aspiration of being an actress and you spoke no English when you landed on seashores shortly after senior, you got pregnant. So you're trying to learn English, trying to be an actress, a young mom. At one point you were homeless.

Right.

This is your journey. How much of that do you tap into or even reflect on to get back, get through the hard days here? Does having that hardship early on in your life, do you feel that it puts you in a better position to put the coronavirus in context? Or do you still struggle with just what's happening today, like everybody?

Well, yeah, so I think not only for me, but I think for a lot of immigrants, this is something that we all the struggle of not having. I'm lucky right now and I feel safe and I have a house and I feel like I'm one of the lucky people that also have to worry about all of that. But what you just say. Yeah, it's not always been this way for me.

So.

I feel, Yes, I feel like what I went through before, it has helping me. So today I don't feel. I feel lucky. Instead of feeling it could be worse. No. And I. And I also feel like more aware and very aware of there is a lot of people out there that maybe don't have what I have right now and are maybe some people don't even have money to buy food or diapers for their kids or essential things. So even though I consider myself lucky today, despite what's going on in the world, I'm very concerned about everyone else. I constantly reaching out to my friends and hey, are you okay? If you need anything, let me know because I know that everything that is happening right now, usually artists, we struggle in general, you know, but you add to that the fact that you cannot even have like a lot of actors or singers, they have a side job where they do waitressing or bartending, but they cannot even do that right now. So. Yeah, the answer is to your question is yeah, I feel like this is a piece of cake. I don't mean to sound like that, but yeah, I've been through to my own apocalypse many times, multiple apocalypse.

So, yes, as an actress, an artist, a producer, your world has kind of stopped as you know it.

Yeah.

What are you doing today to prepare for what you want your life and your career to be like, when we get through this, how do you even think about today and in preparation for what the world will be for you? Past coronavirus.

Well, you know, I started to enjoy it being a. Being a. Learning to be a teacher for my kids. I still, I'm embracing every moment with them. I don't think too much about what I'm gonna do after I know everything is gonna go back to normal, you know, eventually, but. But I feel like I'm enjoying right now that I'm not too sick making the breakfast, the lunch, the dinner, enjoying more time with my kids, more quality time watching movies together. I enjoy not being in a hurry all the time that I have to do this and then I have to be there and I don't have time to go to one of my kids things because I'm missing soccer games and things like that because I'm always in a hurry. So I feel like I don't look too much into. I try not to make plans for when this is sober, but rather than that, I try to enjoy what I have now. I think this is an opportunity for all of us to kind of connect more with our families. I feel like there is a lot of things I'm learning about my kids that I didn't know before, including going back to doing their homework. A lot of things that I'm like, oh, I didn't know that. What's the biggest planet? And the. Oh, I didn't know that. I probably learned that in elementary school, but I'm relearning everything. So, yeah, I guess the answer is I'm not preparing for anything. I'm just enjoying that today. And when that time comes and I'll be.

So do you feel that when we go back to normal, you will also go back to your busy self, or are there something I want to try to hold on to that have been a silver lining during this crisis that you want to maintain?

Yes. I don't think all of us will ever go back to be the same people, I think. Or for me, personally, I think I'll never be. I'll never see toilet paper again the same way.

A whole new appreciation for toilet paper. And hand sanitizer.

And hand sanitizer. Yeah. And I think I will always keep putting gloves on my hands when I go shopping to, you know, touch the cart. Yeah.

All right, question for you. Since you have seen and experienced a lot in your lifetime, this is not the only challenge that you've gone through. Word of advice for people out there. What would you just tell people.

When.

People are kind of struggling with not really knowing how to be positive with all that's going on?

Well, I know how it is to be in that position. We are all in this together. Please know that this is gonna end. Please reach out to your friends, to your family or to your neighbor. Meditate, pray, whatever religion you are, pray to that we are all survivors. Right now, we are forced to be in the surviving mood. So keep your faith strong, whatever that might be, and just know that this is gonna be over. Please listen to the authorities, and if they say stay home, please stay home. I know it's hard for some people because a lot of people have to still go to work, especially if they are, you know, in one of those essential jobs. But it's very important to do the. Everything we can, each of us, to help for the. To stop the virus.

Sometimes we underestimate how resilient that we all are. Right?

Yes.

When you were 16 again in this country, trying to make your way as an actress, spoke no English, did you feel resilient at the time, looking back, obviously you survived, and now you accomplished your goal. At that time, did it feel resilient even though you were surviving? Did it feel that you were thriving and surviving in that time?

Yes, I felt resilient at that time because I think you don't have a choice. You don't have time. I didn't have time to think. If. If I have. I didn't have time to cry. I didn't have time to process things. All I was worried is about how I'm gonna feed. How gonna get milk to feed my daughter next time she's hungry, the next bags of diapers, where I'm gonna get them, things like that, where I'm gonna sleep tonight. So I think when we are put in a situation that we never been before and we have no choice but to survive, we become resilient and that is something that is powerful because not many of us know that we have that, that we are that strong until we are put in that position. So I feel like we all have that inside of us. We just don't know it. Many of us don't know it. But I have faith all of us will get through this.

Yeah. All right. If you have faith, I do too.

Let's put our faith together.

Let's put our faith together and stay home.

Stay home.

I appreciate you sharing your words of wisdom. Thank you so much.

Thank you. I love you too. And oh, one of the first things that I want to do after this is over, I go to no studios.

Yes we are. Lisa and I already talked. Huge party on the roof deck. Yes.