How to Live With Purpose on Purpose | 40

You, my friend, you are assigned to others that are praying for you. So when you live as if it were your last day, you show up in a way that inspires those who are waiting and praying for you. For the past 5 or 6 years, I have been going to the Summit of Greatness, which is a personal development event that I believe is Second to None, and it's hosted by Lewis Howes. And I love, love, love this event. I've seen incredible speakers, I've had a lot of breakthroughs. Many of the big projects in my career and my business have come from a reflection that I've had during that event, or my life always changes in some way when I come back from that event. So it's a big, big, big deal. And in the last, I would say maybe like 3 years when I've gone, I've been like, I am going to be on that stage. I'm going to speak at the Summit of Greatness. And I didn't know how to, but I just, I emailed them. I would always apply to be on their podcast. I asked around 'cause I know people who know Lewis Howes and his girlfriend. So I was always like looking for the opportunity to be exposed to them. So that I could speak at their stage. I wanted to speak at that stage. Last year, I heard it was possibly the last Summit of Greatness, at least until they say otherwise, because Lewis Howes is having, was having twins. And I, when I heard that, I was like, oh my gosh, I have one opportunity. I need to make it happen. And when I found out about this, it was, already very close to the date of the Summit of Greatness. So they already had chosen their speakers. So I went on the website again, I sent messages, I sent emails, I made up the emails 'cause I didn't, you know, they were not public. So I was like, I just started guessing what I imagined would be the emails. And I sent emails. I have someone, one of my coaches, Rory Vaden, is really close to Lewis Howes. So I mentioned it to Rory also. I was like, I must, must, must, speak on the stage. So I go to the event and I bring clothes because what I had told them in the last emails was like, listen, if somebody cancels last minute, I'll be ready to rock your stage. I'll be ready to present and inspire and move your audience. I will not make you look bad, quite the opposite, I promise. So I took outfits for my keynote presentation, and I had my friends bring the curling irons, 'cause I don't know how to curl my hair, so I have incredible friends that help me with that. And I just, I was ready. I was ready to do this. So on day 1, I go to the event. Before I go, I call my friend. She, Luly was the first one. Luly Cordova was the first one to do my hair day 1. So she does my hair, and I, And I do my makeup and I'm looking beautiful and I have heels and a dress on my backpack where I put my computer because I take notes on my computer. And I'm ready, I'm ready. So I get to the event. There I see Rory Vaden, who's my coach, and he's seen me speak and he thinks I— he loved my presentation when he watched me speak. So I know he endorses and trusts me. So I told him like, listen, I sent an email to Lewis House explaining this. So if you know of any cancellation, any emergency, any little spot that they need to fill up with a speaker, you let me know. I'm ready. And I went on to, to be part of the presentation or the summit. And I, you know, the day passes by and I'm, you know, I'm making sure that I'm still looking pretty and the hair is done and I'm ready and I'm excited. I'm in a good energy, and nothing happened. I went back to the hotel with the heels that were really heavy on my backpack, and the dress, and all the things, and I'm like, okay, it's okay, it's okay, tomorrow's another day. I was just so sure I was going to make it because I was determined. I was determined to being on that stage. So I go back to the room, we go out to dinner, we have a great time. The next morning, I wake up super excited. I'm like, oh my goodness, today is the day that I am going to be on the stage of the Summit of Greatness. Let's go. So I have, now this time it was Cynthia who came to my room to do my hair. So the entire morning I wake up earlier for this. Like, I do my hair, I do my makeup, I bring another set of heels and the outfit that I was gonna wear on the stage, and I am ready. And I'm like so excited. So excited because I know that faith is calling, faith is believing in what you cannot see and calling what isn't as if it were already. Like, hay que llamar las cosas que no son como si fueran ya. Like, that's what faith is. So I was ready and I was excited. It was like, I was nervous. I had all the feelings that I have when I'm about to speak at a big event in front of a big audience that, like I really cared about. So I get to the Summit of Greatness, and I am just waiting for that moment. I sent another email letting them know, hey, remember, this is my cell phone. I'll be waiting. I'm ready. I'm here to support you, to rock your audience, your event. I got you. And I sit, and I'm present, and I'm enjoying every moment. And guess? Guess what happened before the day ended? Guess what happened before the last summit of greatness concluded? Nothing. I came back to the hotel with my heels on my backpack and my dress, and I did not actually speak on that stage. And yet, I was so happy. I was so happy. I was excited. I was proud of myself for showing up and trying it and just not giving up until the very end. And months later, I heard a dear friend talk to me and say like, you know, I was so inspired by the way you showed up. He was there at the event and he would sometimes help me carry my super heavy backpack with the big heels. And he was like, you know, like, you inspired me that day because you showed up as if it was inevitable. Like, for a second I was like, man, does this girl know something that I don't know? Like, is she really going to speak? Because I was confident, confident that I was going to be on that stage. And the fact that it didn't pan through, like, that it didn't happen, Didn't matter, because life is not so much about the destination as it is about the journey. And I enjoyed every moment, and I showed up with my hair and makeup perfectly done as if it was already true. So in my heart, I spoke at the summit of greatness, because the reason it didn't happen in my physical reality had nothing to do with me not showing up for that opportunity. So today, I want to talk to you about living each day as if it were the last, or showing up to your speaking engagement as if it was the last summit of greatness. Because if you knew today was your last day, what would you do differently? So much, I imagine. Why? Why not live life as if today was the last day? And we've spoken this month about purpose and about legacy and why God mindfully and willfully created you to His image and likeness. You, my friend, you are assigned to others that are praying for you. So when you live as if it were your last day, you show up in a way that inspires those who are waiting and praying for you. So let's talk a little bit about what this means. Quick interruption. If something inside of you is stirring as you listen to this podcast, I have something for you. On April 16th at 12:00 PM Eastern, I'll be hosting a free workshop on finding Finding clarity of purpose. So if you feel called for more, if you want to already step into the purpose God created you for, allow me to support you in getting it done. Now back to the episode. Most of you know that I have a daughter in heaven, and I know all too well that life is vulnerable. We're here right now, but we don't know about later or tomorrow. Same with our loved ones. So what if we lived each moment as if it were the last moment? Like, how much better would life be? How much more would we take advantage of the opportunities and possibilities and, and the calling and the nudges that God is constantly giving us to show up, to rise up, to become the person that He created us to be? How much better would life be? So let's share a few things that I think we get to reflect on in order to transition from being on autopilot or just going with the flow to living with intention, living with purpose, living as if it were the last day on Earth. Number 1: procrastination. Is not a time problem. I don't have time for that. Let me tell you something. When you have babies, you realize that that whole thing of you don't have time is not true. When I'm like, I remember being with my babies and like rushing to get to an appointment or to go somewhere. And we're like, I don't have time to do anything else. I have to leave the house right now to make it on time. And then my daughter would poop. And then there was like poop all over her onesie. And you know, like I had to change her at the moment. Or she would start screaming at the top of her lungs because she was hungry and I had to breastfeed at that moment. And I was like, oh, suddenly like I have more time? Did time give? No. Like, you know, like if there's someone who teaches us about being present, And living in the now is a baby. Like, it's a baby. A baby teaches you that, uh-uh, I don't care what your schedule is. I don't care how late you are. I am going to poop myself and get super hungry right this moment when you need me to cooperate with you. So what happened there? Like, you know, you can't procrastinate some things. So then suddenly time gives, like, priorities take precedence. And I also think about another example that I must have read it somewhere, so it's not mine, but I don't know who to give credit to. But I remember reading something about whenever, like when you say, I don't have time, let's say, you know, you don't have time and you have to leave right now, like in the example of the baby, but then you can't find your keys. Now you can't leave 'cause you have no keys to turn on the car and leave. So then what happens there? Like, I thought you had no time, but now you have the time to look for the keys in order to leave. Or God forbid, like, you know, one of your children has an accident and they, you know, their head breaks open and they're bleeding. And now you need to go to the hospital. You don't have time for that. You need to be somewhere. But now you have the time to pick up your kid and take him to the hospital and get some stitches. I like— so the, the idea of we don't have time is an illusion, because whenever something happens that, that like forces us to make the time to look for the keys, to change the diaper, to take to the hospital, then we realize like, oh wait, I, I do have time. It's just a matter of priority. But even then, procrastination is not like a problem, like a time problem or a priority problem. Procrastination is a faith problem because here's the thing, when you delay the nudges, the calling, the messages that God is sending your way, what you're essentially saying when you're procrastinating is that, I don't trust you, God. I don't trust you that, like, I don't trust that this is the time to do that. That's happened to me recently. God has been calling me to speak more, to become more of a speaker, and to just show up for bigger audiences, to bring my message, and to hopefully impact and instill faith in those that are listening, which I think I do through the podcast, and I do through the video content that I share, and, you know, a speaking engagement here and there, but I feel called to really be intentional and pursue this, but then there's resistance in me because I'm like, ah, but usually speaking requires that I travel and I wanna put my kids to sleep. I still have children at home and I wanna be there for them. I wanna go to all the volleyball games and all the gymnastics competitions and all the basketball games and all the tournaments and all the— I want to be everywhere. So then I'm like, no, God, not right now. This is not the right time. And I think He gave me some grace for many years. And now He's like, okay, the kids are older, let's go. So why are we procrastinating? Why are we doubting that God's timing is perfect for you, my friend? The timing is perfect for you. So if you feel called to shift careers, to come become a coach, to, to do this program because you want to You wanna be a better mom, wife, human. Like, why are you waiting? And what are you waiting for? Sometimes we feel like, no, I don't have time for that. But that thing is going to support everything else in your life. It's what I tell my prospects for the coaching academy all the time. They're like, no, I don't have a lot of time right now because I have this situation with my mom and this other situation with my kids. And I'm like, exactly. Exactly. When you do the Coaching Academy, you're equipped with the tools and the wisdom that are going to support you in helping your mom and your daughter. Like, precisely. But many times we're like, no, that's more, more things on my plate. Yeah, in some way. But then it's also more possibilities because when you're living in your purpose, you are happier, you are connected to God, you are fulfilled, you are better. So what are you procrastinating? What is it that you've been wanting to do one day, that one day you want to do this? Today is day one. Today is day one. So no more procrastinating because procrastinating implies that you're not trusting God's time and will for you. And today that ends because we get to surrender to his will for us. And when, when, when his will becomes our priority, trust me, you are happier for it. So what are you procrastinating? And how are you going to— what are you gonna commit to doing next? Like, what's gonna be your next step to make sure that you no longer leave that for later, for maybe, for one day? That's number one. Procrastination is not a time problem, it's a faith problem. It's you not trusting God's timing and provision. 'Cause it's not just the time, it's like, oh, I don't have the money, I can't afford it. You know what you can't afford? To continue living the way you have because you're not stepping into that purpose that will lead you to building and leaving a legacy. Number 2, it's that syndrome of the one day, the one day syndrome. When we are like, someday, one day I'll be ready, one day I'll have the money, one day I'll have the time, someday, someday, someday, what you're doing is you're letting your brain keep you stuck. It's keeping you stuck. Now here's the thing, the brain is wired to keep us safe, and the way that it does that is by keeping everything the same. Safe, same. Just substitute the F for the M. That's how the brain operates. The brain is, you know, it's really smart, right, in many ways, and it its main role is to protect you, to keep you alive. But change is scary and different and it takes a lot more energy. So like the brain is like, wait, what? What are we doing? No, no, no. Like we like to automate things here because when we automate, we can free some space, some real estate in the prefrontal cortex so that we can make better decisions in case an emergency comes up. And so that we can discern, decide, right? Like, so think, analyze. The brain wants to remove as much as possible from the prefrontal cortex. And the way that it does that is like by automating as much as possible, keep everything automated, habitual, right? Like, so that's why being intentional about what habits we create is so powerful, because if you have really good practices, on a daily basis supporting you, then yes, you can free up your prefrontal cortex. But what happens is that we get comfortable and we automate a lot of things that we don't even know are habits. Anxiety can be a habit. Depression can be a habit. Procrastination can be a habit. Fear is a habit. There's so many things that we think are like, no, it's that there's something wrong with my mind. Or no, it's It's hereditary. Like, my mom padece de los nervios y mi abuela también. Like, everybody in my family has experienced anxiety, so then it really is like genetic. Maybe not. Most likely not. You have perpetuated this thing that you learned and that somehow and sometime it served you. So now it's automated. And you are staying the same. Well, we need to bring back those automations, those habits of fear, anxiety, procrastination, like being stuck. Like, we need to bring those back into the prefrontal cortex and challenge them. And the brain doesn't want to do that because it's like, wait, what? But I thought we had already dealt with that. The brain keeps us safe by keeping everything the same. And for as long as you continue with the one day, you are going to never do the thing that you were created to do, or never step into the purpose that God created you for. And you know what? In the meantime, you're here one day, someday, and the person who's assigned to you, the person whose prayer you are meant to answer, also has to wait because you, my friend, are comfortable with the one day. So forget one day and make this day one. Day one of the rest of your life. What are you going to do today to advance, to move forward into that purpose, that nudge, that calling that you have been listening to and ignoring 'cause, you know, the kids are still little, and I'm too busy, and when I retire, or when the schedule changes, or when I become an empty nester, by that time it may be too late. I think about, ah, I think about one of my clients who, she had two kids in different schools, and she and her husband would talk about having like morning breakfast together whenever both of the kids were in the same school and there was like, you know, they had carpool. So they were like, oh, you know, when the little one gets into the other school, we're gonna be able to do breakfast every morning and have coffee and have conversations and connect. You know, it's hard sometimes to make that space for quality time when you have children. And they were like excited about it, looking forward to it. And the time arrived when the little one was already in the school with the sibling. And at that time they were having breakfast, coffee in the mornings together to discuss divorce. It was too late. They had waited to nurture the relationship and to support it and to create those spaces to spend time with one another. And they had become strangers and resentment has grown and all these other things had happened in the relationship that they didn't even realize were coming. I have another example of a, a dear friend I love tremendously, who was waiting for retirement. And, okay, when we retire, when we retire, we're gonna do this and we're gonna do that, and then we're gonna throw this party. And we were invited to the party, and a week before the party, he was diagnosed with cancer and had a year to live. Now, fortunately for this person, when I spoke to him just a few days before he went to heaven, I'm like, is there something that you haven't done yet? Is there something you haven't said yet? I usually am the one who has these conversations because, as you may have learned from a couple of episodes ago, I'm not afraid of death, and I'm not afraid of speaking about the possibility of what happens when you die. So I'm also very comfortable preparing for death and helping others do the same. And when I spoke to him privately, right, like there was nobody else for him to feel uncomfortable saying whatever, I'm like, is there something that you haven't done? Is there something that you haven't said? And he said, Betsy, I have lived my life for my family, for my daughters. Like, there's nothing I haven't done. My wife knows that she was my queen. My daughters know that I love them more than anything in the world. My grandkids have, you know, I've been present for them. Even though he worked full-time, This man was a real role model of a man, and he lived each day as if it were the last. And yet he was waiting for retirement to do some things maybe for himself. Fortunately for him, the things that have to do with legacy and love were all done. The boxes were checked, and And boy, did he do a good job at that. So there are things that maybe we don't get to do if today's the last day. You know, maybe you would like to travel the world if you, when you get retired, or you would love to get into CrossFit when you have a more flexible schedule. I just got into CrossFit, so I'm super excited about that. And so I don't know, maybe there's something that will not happen, if you were to die today, but is that a priority? Is that part of the legacy, the purpose, the things that matter, the reason why you were created? Maybe not. I always say I cannot die without doing an unassisted pull-up. I want to do pull-ups. But if I die without doing the pull-up, to me, that's not as important as if I die without conveying the message that God created me to share with humanity and doing the work that I was meant to do for those who are praying for me. Maybe you are the one praying for what I have to offer. Maybe you have been thinking like, how can I help my children now that they're like teenagers or young adults? Like, how can I support them? The other day, a mom called me and she's like, I don't know how to help her because, you know, I'm mom. And then on top of that, I'm not a professional. And my first thought was like, but you could, you could become one in 4 months, by the way. You could become a professional. You could become what I know, you can know too by joining the Faith-Based Coaching Academy. It's the space in which people who are faith-based centered, who love God and want to live their legacy, their purpose. They wanna be twins with the highest version of themselves that God created them to be. They want to support and elevate their children, their spouses, their family members, their coworkers, their peers, their loved ones. My Superstar alumni, like every time I'm doing business work in my mastermind, in the mastermind that I attend, I always think of certain women who have graduated from the Faith-Based Coaching Academy. And interestingly enough, they're not— they didn't do this as a career. They're open to it, but they're using it with their families. They're using it in their ministries. They're using it with themselves. Because in the measure that you become better, then you show up by merely existing. You inspire and elevate others who are watching. I shared in previous podcasts that people were observing me when I lost Fofi. And they saw how, in how much pain I was, but then they also witnessed how contagious is my joy. I am nauseatingly happy. And that's apparently not normal, but that comes from stepping into your purpose, repurposing your pain, your life experiences to help others with the wisdom that you've acquired. It's a very fulfilling experience, and it's also very rewarding. Just this weekend, I was at a gala with my husband, and And he was like super emotional because somebody came to me and she was almost like teary-eyed when she came and told me like, you know, I have a child with autism and I listen to your podcast, I listen to your posts, and you have no idea how much it moves and impacts me. And it was very humbling 'cause sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one listening to my podcasts when I go to, you know, review the edits. So I'm like, okay, well, somebody's listening and it's helping and supporting someone. So it was humbling and it was a confirmation that I was doing what I was meant to do. And my husband was like, you know, nobody has ever told me, I am really moved about how you manage money, Alaine. That is really incredible. You inspire me. I thought it was really cute that he said that. And I was like, oh, okay. 'Cause I have doubts, guys. Sometimes I wonder if doing all the things that I do with so much love and intention are what's gonna move the needle and what, like, God is asking of me. Because I swear that I am connected to the Holy Spirit and that indwelling power, And also sometimes I'm like, am I, am I, am I receiving the right message? Is it, is it confirmation bias that I am confirming the thing that I want to believe or that I want to think God is telling me? So every once in a while, like today for example, I spend a little extra time in the Blessed Sacrament. I go there daily and I try to go to daily Mass. And today I stayed an hour in silence, just silence. I'm not journaling, I'm not listening to anything, I'm not reading. I am just meditating in stillness, and that's called contemplative prayer in our faith. So it's a way of just emptying the mind or letting go of our human mind's limitations, thoughts, and welcoming silence, which then makes space for divine wisdom, for God's ways, for God's thoughts. So am I doing everything God wants me to do? Are you? You know, sometimes those people, like the girl that came to me this weekend, like they speak on behalf of God and they say like, okay, yes, Betsy, You keep doing that. It's, it's doing something. What are you being called to do that you are procrastinating, that you are experiencing the one-day syndrome in, and that you are meant to be the answer to other people's prayers? What is it? What is it that you're not doing that you could? Be doing if today was the last day you were here on Earth? Now here's the thing. What happens with the last day of your life thinking is that everything suddenly becomes clear. The noise falls away. The to-do list becomes the non-to-do list. And the things that were in the non-to-do list, like visiting that loved one or picking up the phone and making that call or making amends with a person that you you haven't forgiven and it's way overdue. Like, all those things that were in the non-to-do list become urgent. They become a priority. And now you, now you understand what is important. You don't worry about it being practical. You don't worry about it being expensive. You don't worry about not having the time. You just do it because it's important. Now, in addition to not procrastinating, getting over the one-day syndrome, engaging with the last day of your life thinking to gain clarity and really understand what your north star is and what matters deeply, I think it's important to consider that you are the producer and director of your movie. Your life is your movie, and nobody's gonna come here and do it for you. I can invite you to the Coaching Academy to come be equipped, to, to be formed into the person that you were meant to be, so that you can then be that vessel for those, those loved ones that you're assigned to, or the ministry that you're in, or your co-workers. That get to interact in a different way with someone who understands and masters why people think, feel, and act the way they do. And because you understand that deeply, you're able to equip them and support them with incredible wisdom. So you, you get to sign yourself up. You get to take that step. You get to make that call. Nobody's going to do it for you. So there's a lot of accountability in this journey, and you are responsible for it. And by the way, responsible means response-able. You are able to respond. You are human. You were created to have the possibility of responding. Animals react. We are response-able, responsible. For doing this work. So what is it that you procrastinated? What is it that today's gonna be day one of, not one day? And what is it that you are going to prioritize in your last day of your life thinking so that you may be accountable in producing and creating those outcomes? I'd love to hear what that thing is for you And I promise you that I am going to be praying for God to give you the strength, the wisdom, and the courage to get started today. And if the thing that is holding you back is feeling unequipped, feeling like you don't have the tools to help those around you, please book a call at talktobetsy.com and allow me to support you at the Faith-Based Coaching Academy by equipping you, by forming you, by giving you the skill set, the wisdom, the understanding to be able to show up the way you're meant to for those who are praying for you. You are the answer to people's prayers, and it is your responsibility to show up. I love you like crazy. I hope you have a beautiful day. Share this with someone that you want to bless, and I will see you next week.