Things I've Never Said Out Loud About My Faith | 41

Today is going to be a little different than the usual podcasts. Typically, I like to teach something that will elevate you, will help you become better, you know, one of those topics that I teach my students at the Faith-Based Coaching Academy so that, you know, you can grab those nuggets and wisdom and extract the value and just make your life better. Today I'm not going to intentionally teach about a particular topic. Instead, I am going to share Private truths that live in my heart and in my mind. So private truths is a concept that I just borrowed from Amy Porterfield, my coach. I was doing an exercise with her recently in which I was describing and getting a lot of clarity on the person that I serve, my ideal client. And she asked the usual, like psychographics, demographics, like, you know, what does this person think about? Where does she hang out? Like, who is she or he? Right? Like, so I'm doing the exercise and those are the typical questions that I do when other business coaches have asked in the past. But this time she also added, what are her private truths? What are your ideal client's private truths? And what that means is like, what are the things that this person thinks about privately but doesn't necessarily tell the world? What are the— her secrets? And I was like, oh my God, it was super easy for me to come up with my ideal client's private truths because I was thinking about alumni, you know, some of my alumni from the Faith-Based Coaching Academy. I call them my superstar students that have gone through the program and have been a delight to work with and have really absorbed everything that I've taught and everything that we've experienced together. So, you know, when I think of them, I know everything about them. The work that I do is very profound, very deep. So it was super easy to do this exercise, but then it got me thinking, what are my private truths? What are the things that I don't tell the world even though I consider myself an open book? What are the things that I fear people would judge me for? And what are some topics that just, don't come up on a regular conversation because I don't wanna be controversial or I don't wanna be judged. And I don't know, I've sat with it. And in the past few weeks, I have been taking notes of like, okay, what are my private truths? And I wanna share them with you today. So after today, they're not gonna be very private. And I hope you don't judge me for them. Quite the opposite, I hope you're able to see yourself and your own private truths and love yourself for it. I love that I think and believe the way that I do. And I don't know, maybe I give you permission to do the same and to be you. Okay, so here I go. The first private truth that I wanna share has to do with my spiritual beliefs. As many of you know, I was raised Catholic, like diehard Catholic. I'm still a practicing Catholic and I love my faith. I love the sacraments. I am, I love the Eucharist. I believe wholeheartedly that the bread that we take in communion is not just a symbol of the body of Christ. I believe it is the body of Christ, which is a very Catholic thing. I take it seriously. The other day I was in Mass and I was serving, and I'm a Eucharistic minister, so I give communion. And I was serving in Mass and I could not stop smiling because I just, I just, I just, I couldn't believe that I was touching, touching the body of Christ and offering it as the greatest gift to all the people who came in the line. So I'm super Catholic and, I also believe that there's toxicity in religion. I believe that there are things about any religion, really, right? Like, my experience has been with the Catholic faith. I believe there's some things that may harm more than serve you and bring you closer to God. And I think many times in the name of our religion, we do a lot of things that are not necessarily Christlike. So I'll share my private truth in regards to why I believe that. I grew up in a very Catholic home, surrounded by a lot, like a Catholic community and family. And I often heard, I'm saying this in my own words, but I often heard, God is a God of love and mercy. But God forbid you don't go to church on Sunday, 'cause then you're gonna go to hell, right? Like, they obviously didn't say it that way, but God forbid you did not go to church on Sunday. It's a sin, it's a mortal sin. It's like, and I remember like feeling like, wait, but like God of love and mercy with like, God forbid you don't go to church on Sunday and you're gonna go to hell. And like that fear-based experience. And I was like, This doesn't add up. God of love and mercy, I immediately imagine cuddling with Jesus or laying on His lap and Him doing cosquillitas, like tickling my hair and caressing and just telling Him what I feel ashamed of and Him being like, "It's okay, mamita. At least you're aware of it. We all make mistakes." Well, not Him. Like, you know, but I imagine the God of love and mercy and compassion being very different to, God forbid, you don't go to church, you don't do this. God forbid you don't get, I don't know, whatever it is that you don't give to that person or you don't do what they tell you or you don't serve the way you're supposed to. God forbid you don't, you speak in class, like, right? Like there are a lot of, Institutions that tell us this is how it is, and if you deviate from it, you're wrong and it's bad. Pow, pow, bad girl. So when I grew up and I came to Miami, I started participating in the community of Prince of Peace, and my priest at the time was Father Gerardo Diaz. And I loved him. I've spoken to you about him in my first episode. Was it the first one? Maybe the first or the third. I think it was the first one where I tell you my story. Father Gerardo is the one who just changed my life after I lost Fofi. And he is a short Cuban old man who is the face of Christ. He's like a teddy bear. Every time I see him, I just want to like squeeze him and hug him and And he's just so compassionate, right? Like, he really looks, he really acts and shows up the way I imagine Christ would. So I connected very deeply with this priest, and I went to talk to him, and I asked him like, how can I participate in our church? So I became a CCD teacher at the time, and I would go to confession. And when I had my first daughter, I wasn't— there were times that I missed Mass on Sunday because her schedule was crazy. She didn't sleep well, and I was a little bit of a psycho mom who was a slave to her schedule, like my daughter's schedule. So many times Mass would interfere with her, with her nap and whatnot. And I remember going to him once in confession, and I'm like, Father, I have to tell you the truth. It's gotten to the point that I don't even feel guilty about not going to Mass. And before, like, I grew up with that Catholic guilt, like, ingrained in me. It was like, it was part of me. So it was a big deal that I wasn't feeling guilty. And when I told him that, I can't even explain. It was more about what I felt than what he said. But I'll tell you what he said to— he's like, "Ay, mi hijita," which would translate to something like, "Oh, my dear, God doesn't want you to feel guilty. He wants you to be excited to come visit Him and spend this time with Him. But you're taking care of the daughter that He entrusted you with. He understands you are living your Mass at home when you're taking care of of God's child, my child who's really God's child first. And I was like, wait, what? You're not gonna tell me that I'm wrong and like I'm gonna go to hell if I don't start coming to Mass? Like, I was so confused. I'm like, this is a priest. Like, he should be telling me that this is a mortal sin and this is wrong. And instead he was the face of mercy and compassion and love. And I was like, ugh, he didn't judge me. It felt so freeing and, and so, like, cozy and warm and fuzzy and delicious that guess who went to Mass the next Sunday and the Sunday after and the Sunday after that? Ever— like, at that moment, it was like, oh, this is it! This is the God of love. And mercy that they've talked about, but that they couldn't, like, show me. This is it. And it started by somebody modeling it, somebody being it. I was able to recognize Christ in this man. Quick interruption. If something inside of you is staring as you listen to this podcast, I have something for for you. On April 16th at 12 PM Eastern, I'll be hosting a free workshop on finding clarity of purpose. So if you feel called for more, if you want to already step into the purpose God created you for, allow me to support you in getting it done. Now back to the episode. Which reminds me of a quote that I love that was by San Agustín de Hipona who said, "Ama y haz lo que quieras." Love and do whatever else. Because when you come from a place of love, and that priest at that moment was just loving on me and understanding me and being compassionate with my struggle of being a new mom and wanting to continue to fulfill my responsibility as a practicing Christian, right? Like He was just, He was love, love and do whatever. And here's what happened, that by Him being love, being merciful, being compassionate and understanding as opposed to judgmental or imposing the dogmas that I must follow no matter what at any cost, He inspired me. To want to figure out my daughter's schedule and show up for Mass the next Sunday. And I don't think I ever missed a Mass again. He could have come from a place of fear, like, oh, you're sinning, you're gonna go to hell, you're gonna, you know, like, that's wrong, you should not do that, you should know better, who cares, wake her up, no big deal. No. Ama y haz lo que quieras. When you lead with love, you lead with Christ, even if you're not following all the rules. And I can't help but think of Jesus and the Pharisees back in the day. Jesus broke a lot of rules. You know, like you're not supposed to heal the sick on the Sabbath, you're not supposed to work, to do all these things. Like, you know, the apostles were supposed to wash their hands before eating and doing all these things, and Jesus was like, Yeah, I agree. I'm sure he agreed. But when a rule or a dogma gets in the way of being love, what do we choose? Do we choose love? Do we choose grace? Do we choose compassion over judgment? Or are we hung up on following the rules? The Sabbath was made for men, not men for the Sabbath. So one of my private truths is that sometimes religion gets in the way of spirituality if we distinguish between the two. Religion being the framework that contains the story and the quote-unquote rules or commandments or the guides in terms of this is how we live in order to live a Christian life. Like, that's religion. And then spirituality is the relationship with God, the embodiment of love, that connection with the indwelling Holy Spirit, divine wisdom. And many times we Christians, me included, are not very Christ-like. But, you know, we're religious. How many times do we have people that are super religious, go to church every day, forget Sundays, every day, and they're screaming at home, or they're judging others, or they're gossiping, or they're always in a bad mood complaining. I mean, I see myself doing all of that many times. I know I've gone to confession a million times and said that I don't want to judge. It's something that separates me from God. So I don't know if you're gonna judge me for this, but yes, sometimes I feel that identifying as a religious person, like me identifying as Catholic, like I always fear that others would see me as a Pharisee kind of person, right? Like as someone who's like, oh, so religious, but is she living her faith? So I, I prefer to be seen as spiritual, even though I am also religious. I am both Catholic and I am both— and I am spiritual. And when people think of me and they're like, oh yeah, she's super religious, I cringe a little bit and I'm scared that they'll think that I am the kind of person who's gonna judge them and think that they're lesser than if they don't believe in what I believe. And I guess that leads me to another private truth. I, so we as Catholics, unlike our other Christian brothers and sisters, we don't believe that you only go to heaven if you say that prayer and formally express that you accept Jesus as your Savior, right? Like that's, there's a prayer of conversion in other Christian denominations that they interpret as like, okay, if you say that prayer with your heart, obviously, then you're gonna be saved. I think, and it's biblical, right? Like, I think we're gonna be judged by the kindness of our hearts. And us showing up as an embodiment of love and everything that Christ stands for is many times more important than how many times we went to church and served and did the thing and helped the poor, but didn't necessarily do it from a place of love and from the hearts, right? Like, sometimes we do those acts of kindness from a place of ego. We want to feel good about ourselves, and we want to get the credit, and we want people to see us. And I think God is a God of love and mercy. And if you live a Christ-like life, but you don't necessarily even know about Jesus, right? Like people who were born in a different country, where there's another religion that was the main one, I believe them too have the opportunity to go to Heaven. Very much like, Jesus wasn't only good to the Jews. He was good to the Samaritans, and He was good to all the other ones that weren't like Him. So I believe that we get to love, admire, and even emulate a person who may not consider him or herself a devoted Christian, but lives a Christlike life. And I have a dear friend who I, at some point in her life, she was, she considered herself an agnostic. And we had very powerful conversations. And I was like, oh my gosh, like I would pray for her and her conversion, which I think is important too. I believe in evangelizing. It's part of what I do here. So I would pray for her, and I would share my perspective. But she taught me— she taught me what Christ was supposed to look like in a human being, because this person was kind and generous and loving and cared for others and went out of her way to support others. And when I was going through my own grief, she was so present. So there. And I was like, huh, that, that— it was like, it was like a one of those contradictions that you're like, wait, what? Like, how are you— like, she would bring me closer to God. I call her a messenger of God because everything she would do would make me better, would make me more Christlike. Her mere existence made me more Christlike because I would look at how she treated her husband and her kids and how she processed informations or disagreements. And, and I was like, oh, that, that looks very Christ-like. But it— but I hadn't learned it from my, from my, from my Christian family and surroundings. So, and I, and I would always confess the, the sin of, of judgment. So then I'm like, what if What if we're not supposed to judge people who believe differently? What if we're supposed to love them as we're called in the main commandment to do so? Love thy neighbor as thyself. God above all things first, of course. Like, what if, what if she didn't call God God or Christ Christ, but, but, but still had him, had him Well, obviously she has Him inside of her, but like, what if she couldn't necessarily name Him the way we Christians do, but she was connected spiritually so deeply? I still believe she is. Nowadays she proclaims herself a woman of faith, but I don't think she would have gotten there if we wouldn't have this— we wouldn't have had this friendship that allowed her to be herself without being judged. Does that make sense? So my private truth is that I believe there are a lot of Christ-like non-Christian people that we can emulate and we can be more like, knowing that that thing that they may not call Christ themselves is the very presence of God. Makes sense? So those are two of my private truths having to do with my faith. And then the third one has to do with the Bible. So in the Catholic faith, we, like, again, unlike most other Christian denominations, we believe that the Bible is the living Word of God. It's life-giving, and it's powerful, and it's necessary. And it's also not the only thing that guides us in our religion, right? Like, there's the tradition, there's the sacraments, there's the— the Bible, right? Like, we have more aspects to our religion than just the Bible. Usually in other Christian denominations, it's like, if it doesn't say it in the Bible, it's not true. I resonate a lot with the Catholic Church in that regard because I— so my private truth is that I believe that people can use the Bible to justify almost anything, even if they're contradictive things. I think somebody, I mean, I've heard of people justifying domestic violence and abuse because they're supposed to be the head of the house and discipline their families and their kids, and they believe it. I've seen people justify just abuse towards, homosexuals or, or people who are different to what society deems normal and okay in the name of religion, in the name of, of the, the Bible and the Word of God. And, and I, I have a hard time with that. I, I think the Bible is not meant to be studied and learned and memorized as much as lived. I think the Bible is meant to be lived. And if this is the life-giving Word of Christ, if this is— gosh, when you read— I read scriptures and I'm like, wow, this was as true 2,026 years ago as it is today. These are eternal truths. But it's just incredible how we can manipulate sometimes those scriptures and those words to make it fit what we believe is right or righteous, what we believe is what God was thinking. And I struggle with that. I struggle with that. So when I read scripture, which is every day, And I do Lectio Divina, which is a beautiful meditative prayer where you listen or you read, but I listen to it. You listen to a particular verse, like a short verse of scripture, 2 or 3 times, and you meditate on it, but you're like looking for or letting the Holy Spirit reveal to you what word or phrase pops out which then is what God is trying to tell you. So this type of meditative prayer is meant to be for you to listen to God. And many times when I— I usually do that every day when I go to the Blessed Sacrament. And when I listen to that and something pops out, I always ask God, Lord, can You, can You reveal to me how You want me to interpret this? Because I obviously, I'm going to interpret, I know the mind, I understand the mind all too well. And I know that we are going to find evidence for whatever we believe in. So this, like two different people may read the same scripture at different points of their lives, different seasons, different situations that they're going through, and they're going to interpret two completely different stories or scenarios. Like, they're gonna interpret two different things because the mind will find evidence for whatever they're looking for, which is a gift, but it may be dangerous in our spiritual lives. So many times I feel very strongly about a lot of things. And lately I have been in a deep state of surrender where I'm like, okay, God, I really think this is what's happening. And I really think this should be this way. And this is how, you want it, and this is your way. And then I'm like, oh wait, but what if I'm being a Pharisee too? Like, what if I'm— what if I'm interpreting that scripture or that message with my mind instead of with, with, with the spirit that is connected to the Holy Spirit within me? Like, what if— so I've, I've actually been very intentional about not coming to conclusions with, with the mind, with my thinking, with my humanity, and instead just really like meditating in surrender and asking God, like, how do you want me to see this? Is, is how I am interpreting it the way you want to see me? And typically God speaks through peace, through emotions and inspiration. You know, like, there are times that you feel like you want to cry because something feels so true inside of you, and you can't prove it, but it's just, you know, you know it's true. The other day I was— that day that I was serving as an Eucharistic ministry in Mass, I listened to a song called Above All. They were, they were worshiping with that song, and at some point the song says Crucified, laid behind a stone. You lived to die, rejected and alone. Like a rose trampled on the ground. And I imagine, I imagine like someone like just stepping on that rose on the ground. You took the fall and thought of me above all. When I listen to this song, I'm like, oh my gosh, like I always wanna cry. I always get teary-eyed. I always get emotional. I always have this thing in my heart because I remember, I remember the pain He had to go through because all He could think about was me. All He could think about was you. Crucified, laid behind the stone, He lived to die, rejected and alone. He took the fall and thought of you above all. And that feeling, my friend, is undeniably divine and unmistakably His. So whenever you're reading Scripture, whenever you're meditating on the life and Word of God, just don't let the mind be the one who studies it and learns it and memorizes it. Let the indwelling God, let your heart, your spirit be the one that opens up and receives that Word without changing it to our liking, without manipulating it to say and describe what we want it to describe so that we may feel justified and righteous and right. So going back to the private truth regarding the Bible, I think, at least my experience, maybe this is not the same experience for every single Catholic, but my experience is that I, I focused too much as a Catholic on memorizing some prayers and, and the Mass, and I failed to really study Scripture, which I think our Christian brothers and sisters do so well. They do it so well. I love listening to sermons and preachings of, of pastors because they put so much love and intention into bringing the Word to life into our present moment and our current life circumstances that I just, I think it's brilliant and fascinating. I also love words, so I really enjoy learning from pastors. And I've learned, and I've brought this to my, you know, in my home to my kids, I've learned to give more weight to the life-giving word of God in the Bible. And I think that was inspired by my non-denominational Christian brothers and sisters. But we Catholics also conceptually believe and practice and live the Bible. I just think it's important to emphasize the experience of it, more than memorizing it or studying it or trying to understand it with our human capacity. So those are 3 of my private truths regarding religion and spirituality. And I have a lot of other private truths that maybe I'll share on different episodes. I didn't wanna make this too long. So I'm curious about your private truths, and I, would love to invite you to a webinar that I am doing in which I explain why it is not possible for you to practice your faith if you haven't done the personal development work. But it's also not possible for you to do the personal development work, the inner work, without faith. And I, I believe that wholeheartedly, and I can prove it. So I have a webinar on April 30th in which I will share why I believe that to be true, and I will prove it from both a religious perspective and a psychological perspective. But before then, this week you get to come to my Clarity of Purpose webinar. This is a free webinar that I'm offering for people who are feeling called to more, like you know that something's missing and you have something to offer, but you're getting a little comfortable and haven't really, or maybe you just don't have clarity. You don't know what it is, so then you keep quote unquote procrastinating, but it's not because you don't wanna do it, it's 'cause you don't know what it is that God is calling you to. So that is gonna solve this problem. So April 16th, you get to come to the Purpose Webinar. But then also sign up for the webinar on why faith and personal development cannot be separated. They're not mutually exclusive. They must always work together. So April 16th, Clarity of Purpose webinar, go to faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/purpose. And for the April 30th, go to faithbasedcoachingacademy.com /fw. F as in faith, W as in wisdom. I cannot wait to support you, and I cannot wait to help you unlock your private truths so that you, my friend, may feel free, free to step into the person God's calling you to be and release those private truths that don't serve you and embrace the ones that are going to bring you closer to Him. I love you. Have a beautiful day. Bye.