When You Have Too Much to Do: How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed | 52

We're gonna focus today on being present. There's been a common theme with people going through situations in which they've done everything in their power to create positive outcomes and they don't get them. Just this morning, I was speaking to someone who was telling me, like, I have everything I desire in life except love. "Am I supposed to stay alone? I have so much love to give. Like, does that mean I should just settle?" And I caught myself telling her, "You're just in the messy middle. You're just en route. You haven't arrived. That you're going through this right now doesn't mean this is your final destination." And then I know of a few of my clients going through very difficult situations, legal, financial, love, relational. With their kids, and I know that the same answer applies to all of them. You are in the messy middle. You are en route. Pain is only the path, never the destination. So if you're experiencing any form of pain, any discomfort, any discouragement, then you haven't arrived, my friend. You and I both know what the ending to our story is. It's resurrection. It's rising. It's joy. It's the peace that surpasses all understanding. That's what our destiny is. So if you're not there, you're en route, you're in the middle of the journey. And we talked last week about how you can enjoy that, that process, and how you can manifest and create, or better yet, influence the outcomes that we have no power over. But today we're going to focus on the journey. What do we do in the journey? And I am going to tell you a story to illustrate what it is that we do. There's this story about a monk who was observing a teacher in the seminary, and that teacher would always be happy and joyful and peaceful, even after really long days of work. And at some point, they go to the community dinner that night, and he's, you know, everybody's having a good time, and everybody gets up and goes to bed, and this teacher stays up washing dishes very late at night when everybody else is going to bed, sleeping, winding down. So this monk comes to the teacher and says like, "Hey, why are you still working? You've done enough all day long." And he's like, "No, I'm just doing one dish." Like, "What do you mean you're doing one dish? You've already done dozens of dishes." He's like, "No, I'm only doing one dish." So this monk in the present moment was washing one dish at a time. He was living in the present. He didn't— he was not going to wash the mountain of dishes that he had there. He had not washed like dozens of dishes. He was washing one dish at a time, and that is the key to making this messy middle, this hard journey, the pleasant process that it's meant to be so that, 'cause it's what's supporting us, it's what's building us, what's creating resilience and strength and wisdom. So why have a horrible time while you're at it? And we've talked in previous episodes about the power of uncertainty, how uncertainty is not something negative, not knowing, not having arrived is not something negative. It's the foundation. It's the place where limitless possibilities and surprises are born. So in addition to reframing this, this messy middle as that space of limitless possibilities, we also get to be present in the present moment. So I ask you today, in which ways are you trying to solve all the problems or wash all the dishes, the mountain of dishes on your plate? And is there an opportunity for you to just wash the one plate? If you have a lot of things pending and, you know, we're in the middle of summer and usually for those of us who have children, the kids are off and they may be home and, you know, we're out of the routine and we, may feel like, I don't know about you, but sometimes I'm like, "You guys, I have a job. You're off, but I have a job, okay? I have a business to run." And sometimes it feels hard because you're like, "Oh my goodness, I have all these things to do, but I also wanna attend to my kids and my family and be present." And you get to be present with the one thing you're doing. I am present with this podcast and you right this moment while my kids are home. And I am present with my kids when I'm with them. And you get to do the same. You get to be present in this present moment. So what would that look like for you? If you have a lot of things lined up for this summer that you don't know how you're going to address and accomplish all of them because you feel overwhelmed just thinking about them, what do you get to do right here, right now? And then just take it one thing at a time. I know that's a cliché, but it has to be the most wise-used cliché. Like, it's— there's so much wisdom in living in the present moment. So my question to you is, what does your one dish look like right here, right now? If there's something that is due in a couple of weeks, take care of it in a week or two. Like when you're closer to the time, focus on what you have in front of you right now. And if you heard last week's episode, you heard that many times the things that we think are distractions, I keep reminding myself this, the things that we think are distractions are actually the way. Like my son is starting his new little business. He wants to wash trash bins for people and their windows. And he's been looking up in ChatGPT how to build this and talking to me and my husband. And he's been buying supplies and he's gonna practice with our house and all these things. And I wanna support him. I wanna help him with the flyers. I wanna help him with the website. I wanna be there to record him when he's washing. But then I'm like, okay, but when do I work? And every time I think of that, I'm like, wait, I can just, I can just block some time to spend with him and be present with him so that I can attend to the thing that may seem like the distraction for me. What if it's the opportunity? What if being present with him inspires me to do something different in my business? What if that's the next topic for my podcast and it's helping me build content, right? Many times we think that all the distractions and the extras that we have on our plate are a setback for our moving forward in whatever it is that we desire to experience. But the setback is setting us up for the comeback, as my pediatrician, my kids' pediatrician's friend said. I quoted them last week. So the thing that feels like a setback and an obstacle may be the, the next step that God is guiding you to so that you may finally experience the thing that you desire so wholeheartedly. But in the meantime, we're going to focus today on being present. Take a moment to make a list of all the things that you have on your mind, all the things that you have to do all the things you have to attend to that you desire to take advantage of the summer and fulfill and complete. Like, what is important to you? And then wash one of those dishes and focus wholeheartedly on it. If you're washing one dish, you're making sure that it's clean and perfect, and you want to rinse it and make sure that all the soap comes off, and then you want to— Like when you think about doing dishes, when we're in the flow doing the dishes that we're not even thinking about it, isn't that like a gift? You can get lost in your thoughts and you can enjoy that peace and quiet and you can almost like reduce the noise in the outside and just go inward. I don't know if that happens to you. Maybe it's 'cause I enjoy washing dishes, but there's something about just getting enthralled in that activity that helps you be present. So what is that list that you have in your to-dos? And is there an opportunity to focus on just one instead of seeing it as a list of 20 things? Can you focus on the one thing? The one thing that's on the list. And that's it. That's all I wanted to tell you today. The present moment is a gift. That's why present is a synonym for gift. So when you receive the present of being present in the present moment, in the now, then it's a 3-in-1. You have a gift that's allowing you to just focus all of your senses, all of your attention, mind, body, spirit, in the one dish so that you can indulge in it, you can enjoy it, you can like take it in. And listen, sometimes taking in pain is as important, if not more, than taking in joy. I don't know if you remember, I've spoken about this in previous podcasts, but the— what is it called— the Velcro Teflon theory of the mind says that The negative things stick to the mind like Velcro. Like if you experience anything negative, anything, like somebody, you know, you were involved in something, in an abuse, or you witnessed a tragedy or a traumatic event, or perhaps, I don't know, like some, you know, somebody stole something from you and you had to be exposed to that situation, or or you were in a very difficult financial situation, breaks, breakup, or I don't know, but anything negative that you experience, you always remember, even if it happened in an instant. And that's because the negative things stick to your brain like Velcro, but then the positive ones slide like butter on Teflon. That's why it's called the Velcro-Teflon theory of the mind. So If we know that the negative things stick, then how about we make the positive ones stick? We outsmart our minds and, you know, we know that it takes, I forgot what it is, I think I wanna say it's like 15 seconds maybe. I don't remember exactly, so don't quote me on this, but the theory says that you need to sit with something positive for X amount of seconds, I think it's 15, in order for it to stick. Right? Like the negatives is like immediately, they stick to your mind like Velcro. But the positive, if you sit down and you literally go, "One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi," like if you just sit there, like witnessing, being present with that thing that you feel gratitude for, that you're excited about, that is good, if you could just sit with it for 15 seconds to record it and to stick it to your mind like Velcro, then you are being present. You are really paying attention to that dish. You're washing it, you're rinsing it off carefully, you're putting in the dry rack, you're paying attention to it. Maybe you're thinking about who that dish fed, like, you know, what, you know, that dish held the food of someone that was fed. And I don't know, you get to really, really, really indulge in being present. And I know it's easier with the negative things to, to feel, but being present with the negative, with the pain, is healing. That's what, that's what pain is. Pain is the path to healing and joy. Pain is the process through which we become better, more resilient, stronger, healthier. The process through which we heal. So being present with pain, if what you're going through right now is that messy middle, is healing. Feeling is healing. So allow yourself to sit with this messy middle. Allow yourself to see the dozens of plates waiting for you to wash, and then shift your focus from those dozens of plates to the one, the one plate that you are sitting with right now, that you're washing right now, that you're experiencing right now. And then when the next one comes up, then sit with that one later. But the present moment is all we have, and the present moment is a present, it's a gift. So allow that to help prevent overwhelm, 'cause if you look at dozens of plates, it's like, oh my gosh, when am I gonna end? When am I gonna be able to tackle all the things I have on my list? My plate. But if you sit with the one, I have all the time in the world for this one plate. And do that with the next one, and the next one, and the next one. So first you make the list of all the to-dos, all the things you want to tackle, all the things that are on your schedule for the next couple of months or however long you want to make it for. And then you reflect on a time in the past. I promise you're going to be able to come up with one because if you're experiencing this overwhelm now, you've experienced it before, I promise. So you think about the list for now, then, then pause one second and now go, go to the past and think of a time that you had all these things to do and you had no idea how you were going to accomplish them. And somehow, some way, they got done. So look back at that time and and just give yourself validation that if you did it once, you can do it again, just so that you can have some comfort and feel like validated and reassured that you have what it takes, you have the resources, you have the capacity to do it again. And once you've done that and you have a little more peace, like, okay, okay, I've done this before, it's not my first rodeo, then come back to the present and decide, Decide what's the one plate you're gonna tackle today, this moment, and indulge in it. Sit with it for 15 seconds. If it's an interruption from one of your kids, that is not really an obstacle or a setback or an interruption. It's the way. It's the way. Sit with it. Enjoy it. Because you know what? If today was your last day of life, probably the things in your non-to-do list would be a priority. Those things that you have to do and that you must tackle and they have a deadline, they're not as important when you're thinking about what really matters in your life. So if there's a distraction and if there's a quote unquote setback and it's calling your, you know, it's calling, you're being called to show up for it, then show up for it. But don't just show up for it and be like, oh my gosh, this is holding me back. Show up for it wholeheartedly and enjoy it. Be present with it. And if what you're going through is pain right now because you're in the messy middle, sit with the pain. Feeling is healing. Don't dwell on it, don't wallow on it. I'm not asking you to like just be like, that's it, it's the end of my life. Just welcome it. Let it flow through you. Allow yourself to, to feel it. And then you'll see, my friend, that in the measure that you are present with the positive or the negative, you are able to manage it. You're able to enjoy it, and you're able to live like a full life with the good and the bad. All the same, because ultimately even the bad is building you up as the version that God created you to be. So number one, I invite you to consider looking at all the plates you have on your kitchen to be washed. Like, what are all those things that you want to do, need to do, have to do? All, you know, because those are the stories we tell ourselves— we have to do this. What are all those things And then go back to a time that you experienced a lot of overwhelm and you were, or you were in the messy middle. How did you tackle all of it? And how, or how did you overcome the thing that you, you experienced if it was something heavy? And then bring that reassurance and that knowing to the present moment to choose to sit with what is, as is, in the now. Hope this supported you. If there's anyone that you feel will be blessed by listening to this, please send it to them. And if you have ideas for the next podcast topic, make sure to go to thenextpodcasttopic.com to fill out the information and just let me know. I am happy to answer your question or address your your themes in my next episode. I can't wait to continue supporting you. I love you. Bye!