When you work hard and it all falls apart - #22

And it was the best year of my business, probably of my life, of my family life. I am a new woman because I learned how to give my life to God.

I set an intention every year. And my word of intention a few years ago was freedom. I had been feeling a little overwhelmed and my business was like something was not working in the business. So I just wanted to feel free, administratively free, like I didn't have to manage so many people and so many things in the business. I wanted to feel financially free, work wise, because I felt like I was still supporting parts of the business that were supposed at that point, according to my judgment, to be self sustained. And I wanted to have freedom of time. I found myself having like 20 full time jobs with all the roles that I was assuming in the business. And I'm like, this is not a business. This is a glorified set of jobs. It wasn't even just one. So I was just ready, I was ready to be free. And I think we're born to be free. Like God saved us, he freed us, Satan. So I just, it's like a natural thing that you feel inside. You long for freedom. And when you're trapped in your own limiting beliefs, in your own schedule, which you created yourself, at least I speak for myself. Like, I complain about my schedule being too full, but guess who puts the things on my calendar? I do. So we somehow manage to trap ourselves in, in limits, in boundaries, between walls, only to long for freedom. So my word of intention was freedom. A few years ago and I had a plan. I went to a planning workshop for my business and I'm like, okay, for administrative freedom, I'm going to hire a team and they're going to take care of everything. And for financial freedom, I am going to reevaluate our compensation model and we're going to make sure that it's not just good for my team members, but it's also good for the business it honors.

You know, I have a lot of mentors and I have coaches and I always invest on these kinds of support. So I was, you know, I was surrounded by support. I knew exactly how to, what to tap into, to be able to come up with that compensation model. And then in terms of freedom of time, I was going to say no to the things that didn't fill me, the things that were not aligned, the things that I could delegate. So it was, it was perfect, right? Like I have a perfect plan, Betsy's plan. But here's the thing. The freedom desire, I think came from God. The plan Was Betsy's, like, God, like, called me to be free. Cause I felt overwhelmed all the time and, like, a little burnt out. So I know that came from God. But then the plan I put in place was a very smart, wise plan. I mean, you just heard it, but that came from Betsy, and Betsy is limited. And if you heard my podcast last month of discerning between God's voice and the voice of the mind, the plan was my mind's. The plan was from the human that Betsy is, as opposed to the spirit, the essence, the one that is deeply connected and integrated with divine wisdom, with the Holy Spirit. And then fortunately for me, because I had learned that from a previous mistake, and every step of the way, I was consulting with the Holy Spirit. So I would go to the Blessed Sacrament, have morning meetings with my business partner, the Holy Spirit, and ask, like, okay, God, I. You know, I don't. Should I hire this person? And I would just be still and wait for guidance. And so fortunately for me, I was obeying and consulting God and my mentors, but they were just vessels of God and every step of the way. So I felt connected, I felt supported. I knew success was inevitable because when you include God as your business partner, you cannot fail. It's just not possible. So the whole year, I was being guided, like, okay, God, who do I hire? Okay, do you approve of this person? Okay, okay, let's do this. Do I assign these responsibilities to this person? Do I say no to. To this other thing? Like, I was always consulting. And by the end of the year, towards the end of the year, I had already finally changed the compensation model to something that felt very aligned, very, very fair. Like, it honored my team, but it honored my business. It honored me. Usually I'm really good about honoring other people, but I struggle with remembering me. Like, hey, does this honor me? Does this honor better with Betsy? And it just felt really good that it was good for everybody. It was fair. And I didn't come up with this alone, right? Like, I consulted a lot of people, and I asked God to bring me peace. That's how God speaks. So there was things that my mentor said that I didn't agree with or I didn't feel right with. And I needed some time to, like, be expanded and. And to receive what God wanted me to do, because it's not my business ultimately. So I.

Went through that process, and towards the end of the year, I already have a compensation method or, you know, plant program in place that is that. That should work. Like, I had, you know, learned from people in finance about the numbers. And I had an incredible team, like, amazing team who was aligned both with the culture and the values that we stand for, which is really important to me, but also with the skill set. Like, I was like, yes, I'm being supported. Let's go.

I had invested on eos, the entrepreneurial operation system, and I had an implementer who came to our team to help us do that. So we also had an incredible system operations in place. It was, I was in a. I was like, success is inevitable. So as soon as I have all of that already done, I'm like, okay, let's go. Sit back and relax. Enjoy the fruits of your labor, Betsy. And as soon as I sat down to just receive, like during that whole time, like the majority of, you know, the year, so let's say like nine months, maybe 10 months of the year, I had been investing, investing, investing, investing. Like the whole process was depleting my energy, the time and money. Like, so.

It was an investment phase of the business, right? Like, I was investing on this freedom. So it was all like coming out, money coming out, time coming out. It was very depleting, if you will. It doesn't sound like the right word because depleting has a negative connotation, but it's just giving, giving, giving. I was ready to receive. I was ready to receive the fruits of my labor. Let's go. And as soon as I just sat back to receive, everything fell apart. Like, everything came crumbling. Team members left.

They weren't happy with the new compensation model and they weren't willing to invest in their part their time. Like, the new compensation model was more aligned with them putting in the effort that maybe they should have put from the beginning and they had to earn it, right? Like it wasn't being given to them the.

Or, you know, or maybe there was misalignment, right? Like, I changed a lot. Like, I'm always expanding, I'm always growing. And Maya Angelo said, do the best you can until you know better. When you know better, do better, right? So I believe in change. I'm always changing. If you're a person that doesn't like change, I should not be your boss or I should not be like, in your team because you're going to be really annoyed by me. I'm always expanding, always growing, always changing, always looking for better. So obviously that's not for everybody. So maybe there was some misalignment or I changed. I changed from being a traditional psychotherapy coaching practitioner to being spiritual and faith based. Like, I Have decided God is going to lead my life, my business, the work that I do, I'm not just going to sprinkle it. It's going to be the main ingredient. So that also like was a little different to what they're used to. Anyway, the point is that team members left. I had.

The finances had been drained because now I have a crazy overhead because remember I hired a team. Well, that team costs money. And we still hadn't been receiving the fruits of the labor. So it was all like going out, going out, going out. So it got to a point where everything fell apart and the whole team that I had built to support the side of the business that was struggling, which was the main private practice.

Was no longer needed. Because if people were leaving and that was falling apart and.

It wasn't working anymore, then I don't need a team. The work that I was doing personally was on my faith based coaching academy and I already had the support for that and it was minimal support. I have systems and operations and everything automated and it's like it just runs really well, very effectively. So I really didn't have a place for them. So then I had to let go of people who had trusted in me, who had been there for me, who had helped me build this beautiful team that was going to lead an incredible ministry, which is what I felt our private practice was. And.

It just all fell apart. And it was painful. It was, A lot of it was painful. I had identified with my role in that job. I had identified as a leader. My team members were my family. We were family. I loved them, I loved them. I poured into them. I did everything to elevate them. I cared about them. So losing that, even though we're all in really good terms, we, and we're still friends and we still love each other, you know, it was a loss. It was a loss of.

Our relationship as we knew it. So it was painful. It was also painful to feel misunderstood in some areas, to feel unseen or betrayed or. I don't even know what the feelings were, but there were a lot of uncomfortable feelings at the time and I, I was sad. Every day there was something new. There was like a new thing falling apart. Like it was, it was already a joke with my husband. I remember one time coming home and getting ready real quick to go to my son's game and meeting my husband there at the game and he's like, how was your day? And I'm like, I must have sighed or something like, oh, you don't even want to know. And he's like, oh, who quit, right? Who quit today or who, you know what fell apart today? And there was always an answer to that. Like, oh, it was this person. Oh, it was that thing that fell apart. And always, every time he would ask, like it was no joke, something was falling apart. And I was sad.

But I was at peace.

And I think you should know that it is possible, very possible to be sad and peaceful, to be grieving and feeling hope, to be broke and being abundant, to be scared and be faithful. It is possible. In fact, it's so natural we live in such a dualistic world that we think that it's an either or experience when really it's a both. And so at that time, I was both sad and heartbroken and scared and all the things. And peaceful. And I was peaceful because I had included the Holy Spirit every step of the way. Even though the plan had come from me and that was where the mistake came from. I had put God in a little square, like in a little box. I was like, okay, God, this is how we're going. The intention came from you. So you know, you are the North Star. The intention is freedom. But this box of how I am going to achieve that freedom, hiring a team, changing the compensation model, yada yada, like, you know, saying no to things like that box I created, it made all the sense in the world, but I didn't include God in that bigger vision. Quick interruption. Just to let you know that the faith based Coaching Academy is now open for enrollment. So if you want to gift yourself this Christmas or someone you love, the gift of growth, faith, strength, resilience, impact, legacy, I got you. Just go to faithandgrowth.com and book a call with me so that we can discern if this is the right program for you. Now back to the episode. And then in that box I was like, every step of the way I was like, God, what do we do? This one or that one? But I was giving him a multiple choice question. So then he didn't really have much to work with. The questions I was asking were not answerable because they were not formulated the way he would have done it had he been the one leading the process the whole time. So what I learned that year is that I had, I had become really good about, like consulting with God every step of the way, which is something that I struggled before. Before God would give me the vision and I would run with it. I would hire the people, do the thing, do the work, but I wouldn't consult him every step of the Way here I was like, I'm not going to do that ever again. But I still limited him. Like, I put him in this, like, in this box of like, okay, within these part like parameters, what do I do? So he gave me the best options with what I was allowing him to take part on. And that's why I had peace. I knew that everything I had done.

Was led by him because I never made a decision that was not guided by peace. So what happened was that everything fell apart. And at last I was like, I have done everything on my power. I have done the work, I have put in, the effort, I have invested. And it was the end of the year, it was end of December and I had let go of the whole team. I had let go of the team members that had remained. I was letting go of the private practice. I was closing, you know, I was giving up my office. I was, you know, I, I'm, I was open. I was only going to keep what I was doing, which was the faith based coaching academy. And I really hadn't signed up a lot of people because I hadn't invested. I hadn't invested a lot of time in the marketing and sales like, like I should have because of all these things that were happening. So I didn't have any students signed up end of December for mid January. So I was like, okay, God, I get the message. Freedom. Freedom was my original intention and you are setting me free. I should have given you a little more guidance on what I meant by freedom, but I see it. Thank you. I remember being sad about all these things that were happening and yet so grateful that he was setting me free because.

I felt relieved. I felt like available and open and broken down so that I could be built up. It's hard to explain unless you go through it. Maybe you are in it right now.

You know that what's happening feels painful, is hard, is not what you planned, it's not what you wanted, but you just trust that God did this for you. I was just with a friend who was let go of her job. Like her position was moved to LA from Miami and she's not going to move. So then she had to leave that job. So she's starting the business she's always wanted to start. Sometimes bad things happen and you just know that it's a new beginning, that it's like a, like a push. Sometimes God, like is like really gentle and whispers and kind. We talked about God's voice and then when you keep praying for the same thing, but you're just not listening. He's like, okay, let me hook you up, you know, let me break that tie so that you can be set free to do the thing that you desire and that I have in store for you. It felt like that. So it's end of December, literally end of December. And I'm like, I surrender, Lord, I surrender.

Have your way with me. What do you want? What do you want from my life? I'm yours. And at that moment, end of December, this is the year of freedom.

I.

Saw everything building up again. I got my first client for the Faith Based Coaching Academy who paid in full, which supported my business at the time. Then I got the second one and the third one. I went on vacation for New Year's with my family. I was free and present and didn't have things on my schedule that didn't allow me to be fully there with them. I came back renewed, energized. That was the biggest cohort yet in the Faith Based Coaching Academy. I had a lot of students join. It was an incredible, incredible beginning continuation experience, I don't even know how to describe it of the Faith Based Coaching Academy because I started showing up with an abundance of time, an abundance of energy and I thought I was already given 100% and I was like so there and so invested. But I had 70% of me available. So I was giving my best. But my best looked like 70% when I showed up at 150. Because now I have all the time in the world, all the love, all the desire. There's nothing consuming my energy or my stress. When I was so open to God having his way with me, it was so much more fun. I would say no to anything, anything and everything that didn't feel peaceful or aligned. I have a hard time saying no. So, like, that was a beautiful experience. I was just determined to pouring into my students to just over delivering. That's a value that Jonathan Giner, one of my mentors, taught me. Like over deliver, over deliver. But now over delivering was. Looked like an explosion of over delivering. Right? Like it. Because I had more to give and it was the best year of my life. I didn't even come up with a word. I was a little traumatized with, like, oh my goodness, let me beware what you asked for, because God is very generous. I asked for freedom the previous year and freedom he gave me, but it came with a, you know, with a cost. So this year I'm like, I'm not even going to come up with a plan. I didn't go to my Planning workshop. I didn't come up with my word of intention. I was like, whatever you want, God, whatever you want. I surrender. Have your way. So that was. In hindsight, the word of the year should have been surrender. I know it now. But because that's what that year represented. And it was the best year of my business, probably of my life, of my family life. I am a new woman because I learned how to give my life to God. And today I want to talk to you about surrender. Surrender is the path to healing, to joy, to success, to fulfillment, to peace, to guidance. When you give your life to God, when you let him come in and have his way with you, you are giving him permission to, to guide every step of your way. And when you do that, you cannot fail. I once heard this quote, I am butchering the quote. So this one is probably mine, but I want to give credit to that person. I don't know who said it, but I know the idea came from someone else. It was something along the lines of success or manifestation.

Happens at the speed of surrender. Success happens at the speed of surrender. What you desire to manifest into your life, what your heart longs for happens at the speed of surrender. But what we know as humans is success happens when you work hard, when you hustle, when you, when you, when you do it. We think that doing is the equivalent to having. And I know that.

We, no matter how much I work, because I'm not scared of doing and I'm not scared of working, and I'm a go getter and I'm. I can hustle. But I've learned that no matter how much work I do, outcomes are not guaranteed. I don't have power over outcomes. I have power over what I do and how I show up and my mindset and my thoughts and my emotions. I have power over all of that. But what happens ultimately.

I don't have control over that. So as my dear friend Caro would tell me over and over again, do the work, surrender the outcome. Do the work, surrender the outcome. But doing the work oftentimes looks different to what you think. We think that doing the work, let's say you're wanting to make more money. Doing the work is work more, work more, work more, make more, you know, so that you can then make more money, right? Like, do the work. But if you're working, working, working, working, and you're doing the same thing over and over again, but your, your mindset is in a state, is in a place of scarcity as opposed to abundance, then no Matter how much you work, you're never going to create the physical abundance that you desire because you are the container of, of that wealth. And if your container is tiny, then you can make money. But you're going to fill that bucket with a little bit of money and then you're going to have to spend it or you're going to find the way to get rid of it, or you're going to, you unconsciously are going to not keep that money or that wealth because your container, it just doesn't fit. It doesn't fit in your container. Surrender doesn't mean not doing the work. It means doing the right work and surrendering that which you have no power over. The right work. In this example of finances and building wealth is like expand.

It is oftentimes more productive to take a money mindset course or read a money mindset book, Meditate and reflect on your relationship with money and what it's meant for you throughout your childhood and the traumas that are associated with that. Maybe the religious beliefs that have peaked in, in the area of finances. Like, I know for me, I thought money, money was to give away. Money is to give away to the least, the least fortunate. You shouldn't keep money for yourselves. Luxuries are not good. Just, you know, give it away. My dad is a very, very generous person, and that's what I learned. Just give it away. And that's what I did. And that's why my business was in the predicament that it was because I was giving away money to the team members, to things that I was investing on, like, and they were all good investments that were not wise and that created other problems in the business. So I assume responsibility for it all. Everything that happened in my business ultimately was my responsibility because I wasn't expanded enough to become the leader, the business owner, the entrepreneur that God created me to be. So when you surrender, what you're surrendering is the outcome and the will, the plan. Like, you're allowing God to guide you on what to do. So surrender is not in action, it's guided action. Surrender means that.

You let God guide your every move. And oftentimes that guidance comes the same way that the lights in the headlights in the car work. You know how, like, the headlights will only shine in a certain amount of feet ahead of you. So as you're driving, let's say you're in a dark mountain in North Carolina, you're driving, and you see just a few feet ahead of you, which is what the light allows you illuminates but you don't see a mile away. And I think God's guidance is similar to that. It's like every step of the way. And that's beautiful because it keeps you focused on him, it keeps you engaged, it keeps you present.

If those headlights could illuminate a mile in advance, you'd probably be like, okay, I'll just, I'll pay attention to the street in a mile, in a few minutes, right? Like, we do that often. We think we know the future and we, okay, this is gonna happen and then this, and we have all the directions and then we keep our eye. We take our eyes off of the guide of the creator of our gps.

So today I want to invite you to reflect on where you're at in your life and what are the outcomes, the dreams, the desires that remain that you wish you you had but haven't been able to accomplish. What are you trying to control? What are you trying to work yourself to? What are you hustling for?

Surrender. Your success happens at the speed of surrender. The sooner you give it to God and you ask for his guidance and obey, the sooner you'll get there. If it's money, if it's meeting the love of your life, if it's solving the problems in your relationship or this issue that you've been having with your child and you just don't know what else to do to help him, you've tried everything.

Or maybe it's financial, legal. What is it? What is it that you haven't been able to get to just yet? And surrender it. First steps, surrender it. Tell God. Like God, have your way. This is yours. What do you want me to do? You're the boss. Guide me and then listen. Tune in and see if the action that he's guiding you to take is to grow in an area, to expand your mindset, to join the faith based coaching academy which will help you with all of the above. Like, what is God guiding you to do and then obey? Surrender is not about inaction. Surrender is about guided action. So tune in, listen to God. What is he guiding you to do and then surrender? The outcome, the timing, the deadlines, and trust that he will get you there. And he is never late. Just your time, your ways, your thoughts are not his. You get to trust. Now, next week, we begin the second season of the Faith and growth podcast. Guests and I have a very, very special guest that I'm really excited to share with you. So in the next one, when I come to you alone again, we will talk a little more about what is surrender? How do we surrender? So get excited because that is probably my favorite topic and I cannot wait to share it with you. Have a beautiful day. Bye. That's it for today's episode. I loved, loved, loved spending this time with you. So thank you for joining me. If somebody came to mind while you were listening, bless them with this episode, send it to them. And if you may, please subscribe and leave a review. Those are really helpful to help us spread the message. And if you want to grow in faith and wisdom, join me@faithandgrowth.com thank you for spending this time with me. Love you. Bye.