Who Am I After My Kids Grow Up? Motherhood, Identity & Purpose

We as moms have this mom guilt.

Oh, my God. I had mommy guilt so bad. I was a lawyer, could work at another firm. No, I was a news anchor. Like, it's so niche. So it was a very, very hard decision because my identity was tied up in that I left work. Now I can be this mom. But then my kids are gone, so who am I? My purpose isn't tied up in a career or a job title. It's in, she says, being the light that shifted everything for me.

Hot flashes, brain fog, mood swings, lack of sleep, kids gone, career shifting. And still somehow you're supposed to smile and be grateful if you've ever whispered, I don't feel like myself right now. Stay, shift here. Today I sit with Pam Giganti and we're saying out loud what most women carry alone. Let me tell you a little bit about her. Pam Giganti is an award winning broadcast journalist, longtime TV news anchor, storyteller, and now a woman walking courageously through a new chapter. A wife, a mother, a faith driven leader, and a student at the faith based Coaching Academy. She embodies grace, curiosity and courage in reinvention. So allow me to introduce you to the one and only Pam Giganti. Let's go, let's go. Thank you, Pam, for being here.

Thank you so much for having me. This is so fun. I, it is so impressed with the setup. This is super cool. This is my wheelhouse.

Yes, your home.

Yeah, exactly.

So while we're there, why don't you tell us a little bit about you and your career and, and who you've been your entire life so that, that can lead us up to where you're at today.

Yeah, absolutely. So I am, right now I'm a freelance journalist. But for the longest time I worked in local television as a broadcast journalist. I was an anchor and a reporter. I worked at Channel 7 for six and a half years. I had the opportunity there to start actually behind the scenes. So I worked my way up like a lot of people in the business, working as an overnight writer with crazy hours. I literally worked from like 1am to 9am Writing the news for the morning newscast. And then I was really fortunate to have an opportunity. I was, I actually taught television performance for a little while at the University of Miami. And I would tell the students that you have to look for those opportunities, that attitude plus opportunity equals success. Because I was like open to it and I had a good attitude about it. So I had a chance to audition for an on camera traffic reporter. I had lived in California before moving to Miami. And I worked in radio and I was a traffic reporter. One of those people that's like on the south side of i5 watch out for lane one, you know, that kind of thing. So I did that for a while. And so there was this opportunity and I'm like, I really wanted to be a news anchor, but heck, I'll do the traffic on air, I'll read poetry on air, if that's what you want me to do, to just show you what my skills were. So that led to actually doing the weather because they needed a weather caster. And then fast forward the opportunity arose to be a news anchor and reporter. So I did that six and a half years at Channel 7. I took off a year to have my second baby and then I ended up getting an opportunity at NBC 6. So I was the morning anchor there for almost 15 years and it was extraordinary. So I loved my career very much. But. Yeah, but eventually, yeah. So I was. The morning show is. I always would tell people I'm on when you're waking up. So I used to get up at 2:15 in the morning. I had all my stuff set out so that I wouldn't wake up. My husband got the clothes ready, I would have the coffee pot ready. All I had to do was press start and the coffee would brew my lunch, everything. I had to be very organized to get up that early, get out of the house on time. By 3:30 or so I was at the station, which was about a half an hour drive from home to there because it's in Broward and I live in Miami Dade. And then I had sit my butt in the seat to do hair and makeup. And then by. We used to start at 4:30 in the morning was our first newscast. So then I had to be mic'd up and ready to go by 4:30. So it was really, really early. And I did that for a long time and loved my team, loved the work that we did. But it takes a toll on your body.

Do you have kids at the time?

Yes. So when I started at Channel 6, I had two little girls and my middle. The second one was only a year old. I literally started on her birthday when she was a year old. That was my first day at the station.

Wow.

Yeah. And then I had another daughter while I was working. So I had three small children and a husband and a busy life and crazy ridiculous hours. I had to go to bed really early. And as parents know, like when your kids are in school and they first start school, all of the parent teacher events and things start at like 7:00 or 7:30. And Betsy, that was the time I was already starting to get ready for bed, so it was hard. So I would sacrifice sleep so I could go and do those things. So, again, I loved my career, but there were sacrifices like all parents make along the way. And it just got to a point where I was getting tired and I had gotten sick a few times. I got mono again. Like I had mono when I was 18. And then I got it again as an adult in my 40s. And it was one of those things that it only really comes back if your immune system is really suppressed. And imagine I wasn't getting a lot of sleep. I was trying to be super mom, super, super wife work. So something had to give. Yeah.

And what did?

Well, your family comes first. So through a lot of prayer and talking with my husband, I decided that I was going to leave the station. I actually tried to get a different shift first. I wanted to work different hours, but we just couldn't come to an agreement. It was funny when I went to my general manager with the idea that, you know, I'd really like to maybe do something else, maybe put me in the afternoon, et cetera. I didn't realize that the whole morning show was blowing up at that time. They were taking my co anchor and putting him at a different shift. They were hiring a new executive producer. I didn't know all of that behind the scenes. So when I said I would like to maybe work different hours or do something different or let's create like a campaign for me, I didn't realize that to them that was like, what? You can't do that. You're you. We need you to be the Steady Rock on the morning show because all these other things are going on behind the scenes. So when they. We couldn't come to an agreement, I actually stayed on for a whole extra year so I could help find a new co anchor. Yeah.

Wow. So what was, what was that process like? Because you, you had devoted your life not just to your kids, you had devoted your life to your career.

Yeah.

And you were invested in it. So not being able to come up with an agreement and having to then say no because you prioritize family, what was that like for you?

Super hard. I mean, I had worked so hard to get where I was in my career because it's an interesting career. It's not like I can just go be a news anchor somewhere else. It's not like I was in healthcare and I could Just go work at another clinic or work at another hospital or I was a lawyer and could work at another firm. No, I was a news anchor. Like, it's so niche. So it's a very hard skill to transport. And for the longest time, I kind of felt like I was a one trick pony. Like, I'm really good at this, so I just have to stick with this. And so it was a very, very hard decision. I prayed a lot about it. And in the meantime, you know, one of the things that really hit me was I left that job in 2015. And 2015 was the year my oldest daughter graduated from high school. So when your kids are in high school, you always know, like, their graduation year, because it's always the class of 15, right? So when that year came, I was like, this is a huge milestone for her, for us. And I thought to myself, I've been doing this job and working this crazy shift her whole life. There was a lot I had missed out on because I just couldn't physically be there. So that was also a mental shift too, that if I was going to recapture those years with my other two girls, I needed to make a change. So I didn't really have a big plan. I was an adjunct professor at the University of Miami teaching television performance. So the chops were there. I loved being in front of the class and showing the kids and the students how to do it, and that's what really saved me. So when I left my job, I still had that. So I was still dabbling in it before I did anything else. But it was. I'm not gonna lie, it was hard because my identity was tied up in that I was. My Instagram was Pam NBC 6. Everything was NBC 6. And that all went away. So it's not like you just left your job then. Everything else that's tied into who you are also has to change. So, so much was changing. And I didn't realize that at the time when I left, I didn't know that that was going to happen to me. And so I. I was. I knew I had made the right decision, but there was like, I felt very heavy, like, what am I going to do now?

So how do you know it was the right decision if it felt heavy?

Yeah, that's such a great question. Because I chose my family. I spent quality time with my other girls. And I remember one time being with the middle one, who was 16 at the time. And, you know, at that age, they're very involved. She was a cheerleader. She had all these competitions. My Little one started to play volleyball and she would travel. And my 16 year old and I were in the car together driving and I'm just doing the mom thing. And we start talking about me being more available. And she said, you know what, Mom? She goes, we never realized how much we missed you until we have you. Until now. I want to cry. I cried because it was so validating for me. She's like, I'm so glad you're with me. I know. And so that was, I needed that. That was God being like, you're doing the right thing. Hang in there, you're doing the right thing. Even though this feels so hard, you're doing the right thing. Because I was a professional. Like, I had pretty clothes. I would get my hair and makeup done. Like that was me. And then all of a sudden that's not happening anymore and I'm doing all the laundry. Like I went down to maybe one day a week for the housekeeper. The full time nanny I had, I didn't have anymore. I didn't need her. I'm there. I wanted, I wanted to mama. But I'm like, nobody cares that I'm washing their delicates and I'm hanging them up to dry. Like, nobody says, wow, mom, thanks for doing the delicates. You know where at work you get accolades for, man, you did such a great job with that breaking news or we killed it today. We did such a great job with our hurricane coverage. I didn't have that camaraderie anymore. I had the family to be mom.

Even though, like you're, you're surrounded by family, you don't feel recognized or seen or, you know, like there's nothing to show for the fact that you've been busy all day. Yeah, right. Because it's, it's. I was a stay at home mom for a year and I prioritize mom being a mom for many years.

I know.

I, I started, really started being intentional about my career when my little one started school. So I was, I understand the staying at home and doing the breastfeeding and the like counting. Like, you know, all you have to talk to your spouse about is how many diapers you. And the naps and the nut naps and how well they ate or if they grew up.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. The diaper rash and. Yeah.

And I remember feeling like, like I was like, I have not stopped today and there's nothing to account for it. Like, like the house would be like turned upside down in a second. And I remember being like, I promise I wasn't just like, blowing air at myself. Like, I was. I was actually working all day.

Yeah.

But there's. But the house may still seem messy, and I didn't finish cooking, and I didn't. Like, I feel like being a homemaker and a mom is. That has to be the hardest job on.

Super hard. Yeah.

And then people ask, you know, wonder, like, how do people who work out do it? They don't. Right. Because they have something has to get able to delegate. Or my. My cousin would tell me, like, oh, no, the laundry is still in the dryer. So everything you wear is, like, really needs irony. And I was like, oh, that's how you do it. You don't. Right. But I think it could be very lonely to be a person who is devoting her life to family. And it could also feel like you're putting your needs, your mission, your purpose in the back burner, and it's dangerous to, like, maybe experience some resentment. Right. Like, you could. You're in. You're. You're at risk of experiencing resentment at some point, like, because of. You ungrateful little brat. You know, I'm not fulfilling my dream of being the news anchor. Like, was there anything of that that you experienced in this journey?

That's a great question. I didn't feel resentment because I knew that I had made the decision. It wasn't forced on me. I made that choice, but it didn't go. I guess I didn't really know what to expect. Like, I tried to step into this mom role and do all the things that I thought I was missing out on when I stopped working. My youngest was in sixth grade. She was 11 years old. And I remember going in, and I wanted to, like, read her a bedtime story and tuck her in and all that. And she looked at me. She's like, mom, I got this. Like, she knew how to put herself to bed. And I was trying to recapture what I thought I had lost. And so. But it was impossible. And I felt sad about it. But then I thought to myself, well, she is. She's a big girl. I get it. They've been coping without me, which, in a way, is beautiful. They're very independent. That's what you want your kids to be. But it was more what I felt I was missing. They were good. It was what I was missing.

Yeah. You know, I want to hear about where you're at now in motherhood, that you have adult children.

Yeah.

But not yet. Okay, tell me, tell me. Take me through your journey first. So then you had this. This career that defined you in many ways. And you felt a little lost and trying to figure out this whole mom thing and not feeling rewarded. And, you know, there were, there were no praises like there were before. And you're doing probably a lot more work.

Yeah.

At all hours of the day, not just during, like the tough hours of the night. That is really 247 and. But you're still, you're still enjoying and embracing the fact that you get to be present. What, what happened next.

So I would get validation that again and again that I had done the right thing. I never really doubted it. It was just I needed to deal with my emotions regarding leaving behind this amazing career, which had its ups and downs. I didn't tiptoe through the tulips every day at work. It's work, it's hard. Right. But I missed that part of myself because that's really all I had known and what I had built. So I just had to. I just struggled with it. And there was a period of time, and you and I have talked about this and I've learned this in the coaching academy is that one of the feelings I was experiencing was grief. It was losing what had been my identity. But I didn't know that's what that feeling was. But I remember right after I had left and I had a beautiful send off, like I had all my former TV husbands come and my besties showed up. It was a magical day, the day that I left, but it was very bittersweet. It was like, wow, I feel so loved and blessed to have had this amazing career. But then I was walking away from the station and people who I knew, so it was hard. And people would be like, oh, you retired. Congratulations, Congratulations. I got all these congratulations, but I wasn't happy. And I didn't really understand what I was feeling. And I didn't want anybody to say congratulations anymore. And people were trying to be sweet and nice like, oh, congrats and what are you going to do now? And it was just like, I didn't want to hear that because I didn't know. And I remember being at a get together and a woman who I knew came up and said something to me about leaving my job. And I said, you know, I'm not really happy about it. And she goes, you know what, you're grieving the loss of your job. And in that moment, Betsy, I felt so seen and understood. I was like, that's it. I'm grieving the loss of my job. Now I know what I'm feeling.

And your identity and Life as you know it.

Exactly. And she had kind of gone through the same thing with her career because she used to travel a lot for work, and she had to stop because of her family. And so she goes, I totally get you. And it was at that moment that I understood what I was going through, so that was helpful. But then it was like, okay, well, how do I get over these feelings? Like, I just want to. I want to. I want to feel good about everything that I'm doing. And again, don't get me wrong, I was so happy that I could spend more time with my kids, but it was just. It was a new chapter. It was a new identity that I was stepping into. I had to kind of shed that old Pam NBC 6. Right. So I. It took time. It took a lot of time. I started doing a little bit of freelance work that was helpful. I freelanced at South Florida pbs. So that was really good. I started freelancing with the University of Miami Health System, and I interviewed doctors and patients. I'm still doing that now. It's called Focusing on youn. It's awesome. So that's been great. So I was able to kind of tap into my talents, and that is. Has been very fulfilling. But it's been a journey. But. But the beauty has been that I have spent quality time with my girls that I never would have been able to do, like going on these tournaments and things that take up all the. This time and traveling. And I would travel to go see my daughter who was in college, and I could just go when I wanted to before I had to put in a timesheet or can somebody fill in? And so it was a. It was a gift. And then just along the way, my girls would say things because I would mention, like, I'm so sorry I didn't get to go to the so and so or I've always felt so bad, like, that I wasn't there for certain things. And they go, mom, we were so proud of you and what you were doing.

I want to cry again.

No, no, they're amazing. So they were, like, cheering me on from behind the scenes, and I never knew that. And they're. They're beautiful. They're beautiful girls. Like, it's funny, I have to tell you, people will be like, how many children do I have? Three. Oh, I have, you know, what are they? Boys, girls? Oh, no, I have three girls. Oh, three girls. Wow. Like, that must have been really tough. And I'm like, are you kidding me? I'm, like, beyond blessed. I have three Amazing women in my life. I love these girls. They're amazing. So I. I don't know why people say that, like, maybe I'll have a grandson one day and I'll understand all that. I have a brother, and he's amazing. I have amazing men in my life, but they're beautiful young women who are strong and independent. And hopefully a little bit. A little bit is because of the. The role modeling that they saw.

You said something really important because I think we as moms have this mom guilt.

Oh, my God. I had mommy guilt.

So.

My God.

And we think that the only way we can be there for our kids is physically pick up, drop off, put to sleep, read the stories, the books, and we also get to model. I heard Ed Mylett say behaviors are not taught. They're caught. Like, kids absorb what you be more than what you say. So seeing you go to sleep early, have the discipline, like, see that everything is set up so that when you wake up, you can go through your routine and get to work on time and, you know, support humanity by being a news anchor and all these things, they. They see, like, hard work. They see dedication, determination, discipline. They see love. Because you would still stay up to go to the meeting at school even though it was past your bedtime. Like, you. You were mod. You were teaching them, you were mothering them the way they needed to be mothered without you knowing. And while feeling guilty about not being physically there. And. And then now in this new season, you're physically there, and most of the time, you're not feeling like, hey, do you realize that I'm doing all these things for you? You're not feeling that validation, but to come to. To this place where they're grown women and they're able to look back and say, no, mom, you were exactly the mom I needed you to be. And you had the opportunity to be both the professional who models that. That, like, the striving for greatness at work and career, because some. Some of our purposes are. Or our ministries are in our careers. Yeah. And you also had the opportunity to. To, like, be present and not have to request the timesheet to go see them.

Yeah, exactly.

So I think. I think. And yet in both, there was something missing. Right. When you were at work, you were longing for that quality time and those holy moments that you create physically. And when you were home, you longed for that, like, thriving and, like, that energy that comes with, like, doing work that you are really good at and serving in other ways. So just. Just for a second would you would you speak to the person listening right now who is in your shoes and is struggling with like either discerning or is feeling guilty one way or the other? Like, what would you tell that mom? I love that question.

I would say do not feel guilty. Don't feel guilty. They're they're looking at you and they are proud of you and you are role modeling for them and you might not see the fruits of it now, especially if they're little or a teen. You're going to see it later.

Quick pause. If you're listening to this and you're feeling seen, if you're in a season of transition or craving support, tools and sisterhood, Faith Based Coaching Academy is the answer to your prayer. Go to faithandgrowth.com and learn more about it or book a call with me@talktobetsy.com Back to the episode.

So just trust in that and give yourself some grace because you're doing the best that you can. You love your kids, so just have some peace in that and just really enjoy. I mean, some people argue about quantity over quality. Some people have quantities of time, they can spend a lot of time with their kids and then some have only quantity, like just a certain amount of time. So embrace that amount of time that you have. When I was working, I used to say that my husband and I did tag team parenting because he was there in the morning. He did the ponytails, he made the breakfast, he took them to school because I was at work. And then I was home in the afternoon because my shift ended sometimes I was done by nine in the morning. If I did the midday show, I was done by 12. So I was there when they got home from school. I was there to help start the homework, the snack, take to practice, that kind of thing. I would always tell people I can take, I can't pick up. Like I'll take to soccer, but you got to bring back. So I was there in the afternoon. I was a zombie mom a lot of the time, but I was there. But the time we were together I tried to make it quality time. So just give yourself some grace. That's what I would tell a mom. And things are fluid too. They're not always the same. Look at me. I was worked a big chunk and then with the last two I had more free time. So.

And you know something that I heard once that helped me is I want it to be all of it. Like all the parts of the best mom. Bake the cookies, pick up, drop off, take to all the practices, do Homework with them, like, you know, cuddle with them. I wanted to. To do all of it.

Yeah.

And I remember one of my coaches once telling me, why don't you ask them what's important to them?

Right?

Because sometimes we want to reparent ourselves by parenting our kids. But what I needed is different than what they need because they're different human beings and there's different circumstances. So I remember, like, the whole thing of dropping off and picking up was, like, a big deal for me because I didn't have that. I wanted to be there and do that for them, but it was. It was hard because, you know, I had a business, and I. My day was from. From 8:30 after I dropped them off to 2, and then I had to become mom again. Right. And. And at times, it was. It was. It took a toll on me. And my coach was like, ask them. And they did not give a crap about me picking them up at school. And here I was wanting to do it on. I don't care if it's you or a grandma or whomever.

They just want to get picked up and brought home. Yeah.

I think it's important also, like, if you're feeling that mommy guilt and you maybe have a little bit of limited time to create that quality time, then ask them so that you may prioritize the things that make them feel loved as opposed to wanting to do it all and then to your detriment.

Exactly.

I think it was like my daughter.

Saying, I got this, you know, so maybe she needed me in another way, but not to tuck her in and read a bedtime story. She was good. But, yeah.

I remember the time my daughter was like, mom, I'm too old for this. Like, what? My entire life, I've been preparing for your teenage years by having these tuck you in moments. Exactly. And now you're not cool for that.

Exactly. Exactly.

Okay, so you were. There was discomfort.

Yeah.

There was grief.

Yeah.

Grieving the life as you knew life as you knew it.

Yeah.

And then there was more discomfort.

Are you talking about menopause? Tell me. Talk about menopause. One of my favorite subjects. It's having its moment. Thank goodness. Because there was a time where people didn't talk about it. So I am in my 50s, and menopause hit me in 2020, and, like, bam. Like, hi, I know we're in the middle of a pandemic, but here I am, and you're gonna have hot flashes, and you're gonna have night sweats, and you're gonna be irritated, and you're gonna brain fog. Like, I got. I got all the things and I was like, what is happening to me? And the thing is, my mom never talked about it. Like, I. When I look back, I realized I had gone through perimenopause. I didn't even know what the heck that was. I remember I had a hot flash. I was in my 40s. I remember on a trip, I was like 47 and I was like, oh, like this hot flash. I was like, that's so weird. And that was perimenopause. I had no idea. When I look back, there were things that were starting to happen to me and that's what that was. So I love now that there's an education to tell young women. Like, I even tell my daughters clearly enough to worry about it right now. But this is going to start happening to you probably like mid-40s. Just be aware of it and start talking to your gynecologist about it. Because there are ways that you can mitigate symptoms if this is happening to you. So the more I was diving into it, I was learning all these weird things can happen to women in menopause, like body aches and some frozen shoulder. Like, there are 30 something symptoms that come from the lack of estrogen because your estrogen levels go down and your FA circle age levels go up. And it creates this havoc in different. In different ways in different women. Not everybody's going to go through the same thing, but there's kind of like this laundry list of symptoms that you could go, yep, that's happening. Oh, yeah, I have that. Yeah, don't have that. Oh, I have that. And so when you talk to your doctor, there are ways that you can mitigate it through supplements and things and also through hormone therapy. So, yeah, I went through that. And I was like a crazy person. And I. The hot flashes for me were the worst. It was like I would equate them to, like, when you would have a contraction. I would have one every 45 minutes to an hour, all day long. So if I was in the middle of an interview because I was still doing these you health interviews, I literally would start sweating. And you could feel the sweat back here. And I couldn't hear what you were saying. My brain would just shut off. I was like, this is affecting my livelihood. Like, this is nuts. Sometimes I'd be talking to my husband and he's like, are you having a flash? Like, yes, shut up. Yes, I am. So it's a thing. And I just am a big advocate for women being advocates for themselves. And if you're having all of these, like weird symptoms, go talk to your OBGYN about it and see if it's how, where your estrogen levels are and if you're being affected by menopause symptoms and maybe you can get hope for it.

So how did that affect your relationships, especially at home? Because I know you're devoted at home, but like. Yeah, so how did that affect your relationship with your husband, with your girls, maybe like closest family members and friends?

Yeah, well, it affects everything because it would affect my mood. I would also get anxious. Like I'd never been anxious before. I would get anxious. Sometimes I would feel depressed and when I realized it was coming from menopause, that was helpful to understand. But at the same time it still sticks when you're going through it and you want to get over it. Like, how do I get out of this? And I'm very faith filled. I would pray a lot about it was like, oh, God, please take this away or give me answers or help me get through this. Because it was just affecting me. It was affecting my relationship with my husband. Not in a terrible, negative way, but like he would notice I was having hot flashes, so I would just be grumpy or angry. A lot of women, it affects their libido, you know, I mean, these are things that you need to talk about. So that was. Yeah, it affected how I felt. It affected my confidence level too. I always felt like I was a fairly confident person. I was really confident in my career and what the work that I was doing. And then I started to have a lot of self doubt and I think maybe that had to do with what was going on with me. And that's hard. You don't want to get to that age. Your kids have left, they're in college. It's great you launch the birds. As our friend Lulibee would say, you're a bird launcher. And they're doing great. And I'm very. But. But all of a sudden, like there's another identity thing. Like, oh, I was a mom and now there's nobody to mother anymore. And then I'm going through all of these crazy feelings. So it's difficult.

So you've been uncomfortable for a long time, Pam.

Been uncomfortable for a long time. Yeah.

First the grief of losing life as you knew it.

Yeah.

Then not feeling rewarded instantly. Like you got it, you got the validation. In other moments, I think like God spoke, speaks through, through those moments to like to reignite the hope. And then. And then you enter this season and it coincides in some ways with. With the birds launching.

Yeah.

You know, your girls going away to college and starting to build their own lives. So how did the decision you make years prior to be present for your girls and your husband, how did that evolve into what it is now? Because now they no longer even need you physically because they're not even there. So how have you evolved and where are you at today?

Well, I've evolved quite a bit, but it's been through a lot of self analyzing and work. I worked with a life coach before I joined the faith based Coaching Academy. And that was very pivotal for me because I struggle with my purpose. I was still struggling with purpose. Like, who am I? I left work, now I can be this mom, but then my kids are gone, so who am I? And when I worked with her, she confirmed for me and taught me that my purpose isn't tied up in a career or a job title. It's in, she says, being the light. She goes, you're a very bubbly person. You love people. She goes, your gift is being a light worker. I'm like, really? And once she pointed that out, that shifted everything for me. And I thought then that's something that I need to lean into and I need to figure out what that means. It was freeing to know that it wasn't tied up in a job title. People change jobs all the time. Right. It was more about the essence of who I was. So I worked through that and leaned into that and that's eventually what led me to joining the faith based Coaching Academy. Because I saw other people who had done the academy who are learning all of these great tools and all of this language and I thought, I want to learn that. That's. That not only helps me, but it's going to help others. So I've been able to use some of that language and thought patterns and tools with my kids who are grown women now. So that's been very, very helpful.

So, you know, I believe that purpose is not what you do, is who you be. Yeah. And if you be light, then you be light as an anchor, as a news anchor.

Yeah.

You be light as a mom, you get to be life light as a coach, as a teacher, as a professor, like you. You can bring that anywhere you come because roles and seasons of life shift, but your purpose is tied to your essence, which never changes the body changes, emotions changes, roles, changes, careers change. So I think it's important to remember that wherever you're at, you get to be your purpose.

Yeah.

And I have Witnessed you in the faith based coaching academy, being light, being your purpose, and using the God given gifts that you have been developing throughout all the seasons and roles in your life with even strangers like you. You have, you have the gift of listening. You have the gift of interviewing people. You, you, you're comfortable with your voice, you have beautiful language, and you have a very calming, peaceful presence. When I asked for volunteers to, to coach, we do live coaching in our, in our sessions, in our live sessions and you offered. I was like, like admiring you. Like, just like looking at you and being like, wait, this is, this is a new student? Because many of my students do it at least twice. And you were brand new. Like you were one of the first ones to coach and you just knew what you were doing. Like, you were able to. All the information that I had already shared in the master classes, you were able to integrate like nobody else would be able to because you have the story, the experiences and the talents that you do. And I think it's important to remember that nothing is wasted. And like Caro says, Caro, my friend, she says you're in training for something bigger and, and all those experiences have been training you for now, like to live your purpose now in a different way.

Yeah.

And in the coaching academy, I witnessed you like, supporting someone who was in crisis and like, just, just like oozing that peace and, and bringing him from chaos and, and like unawareness and like blaming and the world sucks to, huh? Being accountable. He's. He was a. He's our 23 year old.

Yeah.

Love him so much. And you just like guided him as if he were your son.

Yeah, I, that's funny you should say that. I felt like I was mothering him in a way, but with language and tools that I had learned and that were helpful to him. And it just felt. It's funny because everybody's on this Zoom when we do this, but then everybody's supposed to turn off their cameras. And honestly, it was just he and I, just the two of us, and it was through Zoom. But I felt so connected to him. And he and I talked about it later and he felt really connected and he felt very helped. And so at the end I thought, well, then I did what I was supposed to do, even if I didn't have all the tools, because we're still learning. And honestly, I mean, you teach us so, so much. There's some things that stick and the things you gotta go back and look in your notes and be like, oh, yeah, that's what she said. But when you just trust in the moment and bring that the mom ability, the mom skills, it's like, I don't know, the holy spirit and everything just takes over. And I just said what needed to be said in that moment, and it was so rewarding. It felt really good. It felt really good to see him happy and smile at the end of that. So that's what gave me confirmation, like, I'm in the right space.

You're exactly where you need to be. So now you're in a process of using the coaching academy skills to support the people around you, possibly becoming a life coach. Because there are a lot of people who are praying for you, for someone like you, with your gifts and your unique abilities. And there are moms who are going through menopause and who are struggling with all the symptoms and empty nesting. And how do I speak to my daughter now? Who doesn't? Mom, I don't need you to talk me in. Like, now they're saying, like, mom, I don't need you to tell me what to do, right? Like, Like, I feel like adult kids are, like, we get to. They're. They're. They're needing. What they need is a coach, not someone to telling them what to do, which is what moms usually do. So how is that supporting your relationship? Like, how are the coaching skills that you've attained supporting your relationship with your daughters?

And hugely, in a major way, without me even really realizing it. I think I told you one time I was talking to one of my daughters on the phone, my middle one, and I was saying things to her like, well, be careful, because you need to be aware of. We were talking about her fiance, about maybe his unconscious triggers and this and that. And my older one overheard, and she goes, mom, it's so cool you're life coaching her. And I was like, that's awesome.

I hadn't even thought about that.

But I am. I'm using the language from class. I never would have used that word before using the few. And so that's been really, really helpful. And even recently with my daughter, she was going through something, and I was like, I see you, and you're giving so much grace and love. I'm so proud of you. And so it's helping me to be a better parent, which is. Is lovely.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's beautiful.

So it's good.

Well, thank you, Ms. Pam.

Thank you, Ms. Betsy. This has been a lot of fun.

I know, I know. How can people find you? Please make sure you tell them about your podcast.

Oh, my Gosh, yeah.

And. And who do you serve? I think it was illustrated today, but tell us.

Yeah, so to find me, I think the best it would be LinkedIn at.

This moment, which is. What's your.

I think it's. I think it's just Pam Gigante. I'm not sure.

Pam Gigante.

I think if you look for that.

We'Ll put it in the show notes.

We'll put it in the show notes. And then I am launching a podcast. It's something I've wanted to do for a really long time, but the perfectionist in me kept saying, no, but it has to be this and it has to be that. And I been kicking the can down the road and dragging my feet, but you and my life coach earlier were like, just do it. Like, you know, you can build the plane while you're flying it. Right. As our friend Lulibee would say. So I am going to launch a podcast at Community Papers. They have podcast studios, and they're the ones that have those papers that you probably see around town for your community. So they have these podcast studios. So I'm going to start with that this month. We can put more of that in the show. What is it?

What is.

It's called Better for Knowing. The whole premise is, is that when you sit with me and you listen to the podcast, after that, you are better for knowing this person or whoever we've talked about. You're just better. You're better for having spent 30 to 45 minutes listening to the podcast. Yeah. So that's where that came from.

I am better for knowing you.

No, you're so cute. Likewise.

Okay, so.

And then the coaching part, I don't know. We'll see. I. I might launch that as well. Maybe next year. We're at the end of the year. It's kind of busy right now, but I'm not opposed to it. I've enjoyed the work that I've been able to do.

So, yes, I think I will give you the little push that you need.

Right.

You want to work with Pam. You feel like she got you. Like she's relatable and she's wise and calming and beautiful. Yes, I agree. So we've seen that midlife can be a breakthrough into the woman God designed you to become. If this episode has resonated, please share it with another person who's going through something similar. And make sure you Send Pam on LinkedIn A message and tell her how much this has blessed you. We love you. Have a beautiful day. Ciao.