Ep039 - Help your best mate right now - Anthony Astbury

This short, conversational Whole Man Academy podcast (Ep039) addresses the mental-health strains men have faced during recent months—stress, isolation, job/business uncertainty, separation from family—and encourages practical social connection as a remedy. The host issues a concrete challenge: call three mates (phone or video, or meet where possible) to check in, listen without immediately giving advice, and offers helplines and upcoming community events for additional support.
Questions this video answers
Call 116 123 (the Samaritans).
Text the word SHOUT to 85258.
31st October.
Contact three mates by phone/video/in-person to check in and listen.
Thursday the 6th at 6:30pm (link sent to E-letter subscribers).
Okay, so welcome to the whole Man Academy podcast, episode 39. We're doing something crazy this week, which is recording on Tinstagram, on Anchor, on Zoom, who knows what else we're recording it on. The big news news flash is I've also had a haircut, which is quite exciting. The mullet has gone, so I won't be called Chris Waddle for a while now. And it feels quite nice after four months of not having a haircut. So. So onto the more important things. Today's E letter, which I'm actually reading out because it's going to be a short podcast today. But today's E letter has been a fairly tough one to write. It's easy to say we should be looking on the bright side of things at the moment and cheer up. And I do firmly believe in the power of positive thinking, but we are in uncharted territory. So this E letter might seem mildly somber, but we're not here to sugarcoat things, guys. And if you read to the end or you listen to the end as well, it has a positive intent. Now, also, if you're doing absolutely fine at the moment, I encourage you, even more than someone who isn't, to read until the end or listen or watch until the end. We have a challenge for you, and we will have a challenge. Now, we always say the world needs strong men, but being strong doesn't mean keeping your issues to yourself necessarily. I'm a firm believer in a man who is comfortable in his own sin or his own skin. It's okay to say, do you know what? Things are a bit shit at the moment. I've got challenges, I feel stressed, etc. I've fucked up, I've done this, I've done that. And I just think it helps to release the pressure, especially the pressure valve that we have to help us navigate the what is sometimes challenging world. And that's entirely the reason why we started the whole Man Academy to start with, was encouraging guys to get together to talk. But what we soon realized is that talking wasn't going to be enough to help men do life better. And we saw guys hungry for practical advice on all segments of the pie of man, which could include health, wealth, mindset, fitness, relationships. List goes on. But right now, I'd like to draw your attention away from all of that to the matter in hand. And I think it's okay to say the last six months have been very challenging for many of you guys. Stress, uncertainty, isolation, worry, purpose, self worth, all of these things. Financial issues, even if you haven't had an issue with these. You'll probably know someone that has had to contend with some or maybe all of these. And these are all some of the things I've heard from guys recently, and that's guys from a mixture of sectors, ages, salary brackets, locations, beliefs, levels of perceived success, job titles. It doesn't really matter. The important thing is it's okay to fill any or all of these. And, and that can be for a fleeting moment or a prolonged period. And I've got examples of guys who found it tough because they've got issues with some or lots of. Let's list them A job loss, job uncertainty, especially after the furlough is going to end on 31st October. Business is struggling. I've got a friend I saw today whose business has basically gone down the plug hole, which is very frustrating, very sad because it didn't need to happen. Stress and anxiety about what's going on, about should we going out about family issues, maybe your health. Working from home, which has been a huge one at the moment. Not seeing parents, especially elderly parents, which has done a lot of people in, I think, separation from children. I've got friends who work with their partners, so they maybe didn't see their kids for a long time. Some of us could do with a little break from their kids, but we're in all seriousness talking about, you know, if you haven't seen them for months on end, it can be very difficult. One of the things we touched on on a previous podcast was loneliness and isolation, which actually can be a killer for people. And of course, going back to working from home, what does that create? Isolation. And if you've got a family at home, great. But if you're working from home, you live alone. It can be tough. I'm sure you can think of even more things to think about on this list, but you get the gist. Some of those. I'm sure you might have nodded your head over and said, you know, work from home, not seeing parents, separation, loneliness, boredom, stress, anxiety, who knows? So it would be easy to get people to focus on what's good in their life. There's plenty of tools and techniques we've got for that. But guess what? Sometimes it helps to just go and talk to a mate. And I say this because even if you're not doing great, or sorry, even if you are doing great, maybe one of your friends or mates isn't, maybe they could do with the chat, maybe they could do with someone to listen to and maybe you could give them some advice if they ask for it, just to let off some steam and of course, maybe even have a laugh. Laughing is good for you and it's still allowed at the moment, which is good news. Even the government has said a couple of things we might all agree on, which is consider how you connect with others. Maintaining relationships with people you trust is important for your mental wellbeing. Help and support others. Think about how you could help those around you. As I just said, could make a big difference to them and could make you feel better too. So remember, this is a difficult time for everybody. You know, sharing things with friends, however you're feeling or checking in with them can make a big difference. That doesn't mean you need to go and pick somebody emotionally vomit all over them. For the first person that listen, I'd say you need to be selective. Not everybody wants to listen. And you know, there was a saying I said, you know, 80% of people don't care about your problems and 20% are glad you've got them. Sounds harsh, but have a think about that. So here's my suggestion. This week, instead of us doing a one and a half hour podcast, which we've done before, which is great and we appreciate everybody listening to them, let's change it up. Today I set a challenge for you. Instead of listening to the podcast and using that time, what about connecting with three mates? Go and check in with them, see how they're doing. Be prepared to listen and not jump in with advice. Us guys always like to give advice, usually before the person has even finished their sentence. But here's the crazy bit. You've got to call them. What the fuck? Yes, call them. No whatsapping, no emailing, no social media messaging on Instagram, Facebook, sausage book, God knows what else people are using these days. TikTok anything, pick up the phone, maybe do a video call. Or even better, go meet up with them if you can. Maybe say it'd be good to chat to them. Offer them something you have found challenging, so it helps them feel relaxed enough to chat. But if nothing else, it's so good to go and talk and reconnect with your friends. Maybe there's benefits for you and him that are totally unforeseen. Who knows? It's a bit like when I go out walking and I say to people, hello, good morning or afternoon or evening, but generally in the morning and they probably think I'm a bit nuts. But I always think maybe saying hello and acknowledging them and seeing a friendly face might make a difference. You never know, it might Be the only person they say hello to all day. Of course, at the moment that's a bit difficult for some because some people are walking around like Dick Turpin with stuff over their face and we can talk about the psychological effects of that on another time. Hooray. But let's get down to it. Who are the three mates you might contact? Have a think about it. Who are the three mates? I've got mine. There's a guy called Mike who's a friend, formerly in the military. He was diagnosed with Ms. We actually wrote about him on our Men's Health Week. I'm connecting again with him and hopefully going to go and see him. Charlie. No details needed there but he will be getting a message soon. And actually my best mate Tom, best friend for 22 years, I'm going to message him a bit later and we're going to arrange to meet up, which should be lovely. So who might you contact? You know, what might you achieve by contacting them? What could the long term benefits be of just picking up the phone for a chat? Who knows? But at least you tried. As a footnote, you know, the whole Mountain Academy doesn't offer medical advice or services. We don't employ mental health clinicians. We can offer signposting and support. If you're in urgent need of help, you can call 116123, which is the Samaritans. Or you could text shout S H O U T not to be confused with another word, to 85258 now. CLAXON upcoming Zoom live is next Thursday. Thursday the 6th at what Is It, 6:30pm we'll be sending out the link to all the people that subscribe to our E letter. What are we today? Next week we'll send it out on the Tuesday and on the Thursday just before the call. So we look forward to seeing some of you guys back on the call. We had loads of you on last time and it was always valuable to have an hour of man chat in the meantime. Do if you can do let us know how you got on if you're contacting some mates. We love to hear about how these little suggestions sometimes can create something that is positive and positivity in the world. After that, have a great weekend and we will catch you next week for more fun and excitement from the whole Man Academy.










