EP053 - What's your hero's journey? - Anthony Astbury

Foreign. So welcome to the whole Man Academy podcast. We are up to episode 53, I think. I can't believe we're over half a century. Thanks to all the guys and girls who've been watching. We're now we have people in up to 35, I think 35, 36 different countries who either listen to or watch the podcast, which is great. And also thanks to the guys that joined us on Wednesday night for our 13th Wholeman Academy Zoom event of the year. Can't believe we got to 13. I remember the first one and one of those feelings where you're like, is anybody going to show up? But yes. And last night we talked about fighting, talked about football, talked about design, say fighting was MMA Christmas traditions. We talked about unsurprised, about COVID about, about pickled onions, about building bigger, not better, all about running companies, small companies, and how important it is to be better, not necessarily bigger. We also talked about the pitfalls of fame and followers and the old be careful what you wish for. The more followers you have, the more shit you get from people on social media. And last one we spoke about was guns, mainly because one of the guys that joined is an English guy who actually is based over in the States at the moment. And we spoke about how strange it is we can go over there and go and buy a gun, which I'm pretty sure most of us guys in the UK are probably not going to have much experience of. But anyway, we're going to talk today about a couple of different things, but especially about the Mastermind, which we're launching in January. And here's what we said about it. The whole Manacademy Mastermind is here to help you discover what hero's journey you want to go on. It doesn't really matter what your hero's journey is. It could be, write a book, climb a mountain, leave your job, do something exciting, learn a new skill, doesn't really matter. The point is we're here to help you uncover what it could be and then more importantly, fearlessly go after it, as opposed to just thinking, oh, wouldn't it be nice to do. Be great to actually take some action, have some focus and accountability and get your ass in gear and actually do something. I always say that you want to get to the end of the year and have some memorable. I can't even say it, but memorable experiences instead of. I think back when I. When I worked in the city, it was quite. It would be easy for me to every week and just go out and get drunk on a Friday Night, go to the gym, go and do your food shopping, watch a lot of football, loiter on the sofa. And there's nothing wrong with all that. But at some point you're like, is that what I want my year to consist of? Probably not, to be fair. So I'm here to help the guys. And we were trying to come up with a name and we went for the Adventure mentor. And it's helping guys go after their adventure in life like their life depends on it. But why? Well, we've had several calls over the last week and a half where we're getting guys who want to apply to come on the Mastermind. And my job is to ask them some questions about where they are right now and where they want to be. And one of the big things that came up was being free from negative emotions. So I wrote some of them down because I guess everybody's going to have negative emotions at one point, but isn't it priceless if you can be either free from them or reduce them massively? So some of the words that the guys use, one was shame or guilt that you haven't achieved what you wanted. And that would lead on to being quite resentful that others are further ahead or in your perceived view, further ahead in life than you. Now, we always say that comparison is the thief of joy. Everybody's going to have someone that's doing better than them, worse than them. But for me, it's all about actually having freedom in life. I know many years ago I went on a personal development course and one of the big things was, what do you want? And actually it was freedom. Freedom to travel where you want to work, when you want to buy what you want, to help whoever you want. So, yeah, freedom was one of the big things that. That kind of came up. And I used to look at the guys when I had a. You know, when I was employed and had to be somewhere on time and I had to sit there till 5 o', clock, I used to look at the guys that either ran their own businesses or did something with a bit more freedom in life. And I was quite jealous, to be honest. And that's when I decided I had to do something about it. So one of the other negative emotions was being unfulfilled when one of the guys said, he knows there's more to life. And I'm sure we can all find that at some point you might look around and think, what's the saying? Is this it? Anyway, we don't want you to feel like that. And hopefully we can help you get rid of that and have something a bit more exciting. One of the other negative motions was boredom. I mean, God, it's been a shit year. I have seen so many guys that have said, I'm sick of working from home and. Or missing going out with my mates and. Or playing football or going to a game or doing this, doing that. So boredom is one of those things I can totally understand, which can lead to people being unhappy. So I hope that this will change next year. Part of that with working from home was, quite honestly, guys being lonely. And I think it's quite a tough one for a guy to admit that he's lonely probably years ago. And I thought that was a bit of a sad thing to admit, but I totally get it now. Especially if those guys are either working from home or. Or you're just missing being in a work environment or being out having those nights out with your mates. You know, isolation is a killer. And what is more fun than guys being out in a talking bollocks together, talking about football, talk about cars, talk about whatever it is that you're interested in. So I can totally understand that. One of the other ones was regret about not taking action sooner by that. That's. That's a painful one. Regret. I think what we try and help people understand is that you can't help whatever's happened in the past. You know, today's a new day and you better start taking action. The other ones were insecurity, embarrassment, frustration. I'm sure enough people have been frustrated because they're not where they want to be in life. And jealousy, which I guess is one of those we touched on earlier, is you look at the other people around you and be like, fucking hell, they're doing better than me. You're like, you know what? Maybe they're just taking action. It's not that complicated. The last two were anxiety and fear, which was, you know, being, I know, fearful of doing something different, sticking your head, you know, up above everybody else. There's that tall poppy syndrome, isn't there, of, you know, people wanting to cut down the tall poppy. Don't be scared to get out of your comfort zone and do something that's, for you is exciting. Other people might think it's a lot of rubbish, but for you it's exciting. But then we ask the question of, what do you want? And here was some of the things that guys came out with. They want to be inspired to do great things by the people that you hang around with. And I think that's Important. There's the old saying of your network is your net worth. And if you're hanging around with the right people, it can make a big difference to your mindset, your ability to be okay, taking risk instead of just being sitting there trying to stay safe all the time. I can't stand that saying, stay safe. I'm sick of it this year anyway. Happiness. Now, happiness is a feeling, like a lot these things, so no one can give you a feeling. It's up to you what you feel, and you get to decide what you feel and when and how long for. But be happy that you're making progress. I think for anybody, making progress in life is one of those maybe underrated things, but it's very important. Fulfillment. What was it? It was Tony Robbins who had the saying, success without fulfillment is failure. And I reckon I had to let that one sit with me for a while. But I realized that, you know, you can have a thriving business or you can have everything else going right for you, but if you're not fulfilled, if that's not what you wanted, then quite frankly, you're. You're not going to feel fulfilled. And therefore, I'm not sure if that's going to help you feel happy in life, which is. Which is quite painful. Confidence, that's what one of the guys said he wants to feel. How priceless is it to feel confident in your own skin? I said on a podcast months ago, you know, show me a man who's confident in his own skin, who knows what he wants in life and where he's going. And I think that's one of the men that people want to be around. You know, I'm going somewhere, I'm on my own journey. I think that's. That's absolutely priceless. The last few were gratitude. We could do a long podcast about gratitude. But I will say this. I think that a lot of people this year will have a new level of gratitude for what they took for granted at other times. You know, like going out, like seeing friends, going to the pub, going to a football game, doing go to the cinema, theater, etc. Blah, blah, blah, all those things. I think that a new level of gratitude will be hopefully be achieved by at least some of the population. And the last one was excitement. Fucking hell. Who doesn't like to feel excited? Doing something new and that's out of your comfort zone is, I think, for all of us, again, is priceless. It's one of those things that you should be if you can and if you want to, you know, Pushing yourself to do something that I know is a bit different. Anyway, when I talk about a hero's journey, I always say, use my examples. When I was in my mid-30s, quite frankly, I was a bit fucking bored at work, and I started doing obstacle course racing. And that suddenly gave me that side adventure to start training, to eat right, to learn more, to get my techniques sorted, to be able to navigate an obstacle course, plus run 10, 20 miles up a mountain, dive in freezing waters. Sometimes think I want to give up, but not giving up. And for me, that gave me that outlet outside of my job at the time, that kind of really lit a fire in me to kind of push myself. And I think it's one of those that for each guy, he's got his own hero's journey, his own side adventure. It's in there somewhere. You've got to just kind of work out what it is and then go after it. I would say also starting the whole man academy, you know, we didn't set out for this to be what it's become. Could never have believed it would become. You know, what we have with hundreds of guys on the e Letter, over 50 podcasts, you know, plenty of Zoom Calls, a mastermind, all these different things. So it just shows you, you never know. If you put the effort in, you never know where it's going to take you. So one of the guys we spoke about was, what are the. How could I put it? What are the opportunities that the mastermind gives you? So we wrote a list. I like lists. It was accountability from your peers, real life education, brainstorming, which I know is so important. You know, sometimes you can sit there and if you're in a bit of a brain fog, brainstorming doesn't work. But when you're around the right people with the right energy, it can really make a big difference. Sharpening your existing skills. I like this one. Challenging you to set exciting goals. Again, it's one of those things that so many people can just, I don't know, moonwalk from week to week and month to month, and you're like, are you setting yourself challenging goals that you might not be able to achieve unless you're around the right people making cool new friends? Even last night, the Zoom Call, we had guys who, you know, from the US and the UK, we've had guys from Formula 1, from fitness, from television, from radio, from banking, from all these different sectors that can create a new network of people. We bundled that up and saying, short. HE COUGHS in short, I think that puts you on a path to success, hopefully. But you've got to actually do something. You can't just sit on the sidelines and watch. You have to actually get involved in the game. You know, you have to play the game to win the game, as Peter Sage said on his Instagram the other day. So as you said, we believe deep down all men want to go on their own hero's journey. We are here to bring a group of like minded men together to help you reach, reach the next level of your life. So we wrote down what is the hero's journey? And it's something that if you've ever watched a movie, which I'm sure you have, and you get sucked into the story and you get engrossed in the story and the Batt background and the different component components of that film, and what we know is it follows a specific outline and it speaks to your unconscious desire as the viewer. But let's run through the film some of the, some of the favorite ones for me. Rocky, Star Wars, Die Hard, Indiana Jones, Batman, all the superhero movies, Gladiator, James Bond, Jason Bourne goes on and on and you get the gist there. Now it just so happens that Rocky and several of these are some of my favorite films. But use Rocky as that example. He, you know, starts off where he is in life. I'm sure you've seen Rocky and if you haven't, it doesn't really matter. You can talk about Gladiator, but Rocky's living his normal day to day life. He's a journeyman and he's, he's going through the motions and fucking hell, don't you ever want to hear that where you're like, oh, I'm just going through the motions in life. How dull is that? But then he sees an opportunity to fight the heavyweight champion of the world, Apollo Creed. Something inside him, I know he's got a call for more excitement in his life and that's where he accepts the challenge, accepts the fight. And we watch the classic videos or shots of him training, eating about 64 million egg yolks and whites in the mornings, which quite frankly can make you feel a bit sick. And he's not just training for him, he's training to win the heart of his then wife or to become his wife, Adrian. And he's always battling his inner demons that are telling him that he shouldn't get in the ring with such a great boxer, you know, that he's a loser, he's a nobody, he's a fraud, hopefully. I know plenty of Guys that might have felt one of those, you know, feel like you're. I know you're not making a difference. Maybe you're a fraud in life, but actually, he. He changes with the help of a mentor, his boxing mentor, Mickey. And the change means his spirit soar. And he. You know, you've seen the training montage, and we've heard all the movies. Sorry, Heard all the. Or the tunes on the soundtrack, which are brilliant. And then he finally gets in the ring. You know, his story is there. He takes a pounding, he gets a fight back. He really. He starts to believe in himself, and the inner demons go away. And suddenly he becomes that person that I think he wanted to be. And, yes, he doesn't win the match in the first spoiler alert from 30 years ago, but he went on his own hero's journey. And at the end, he says, yo, Adrian, I did it. Now, as we know, that's not about a boxer. It's a film about a man who thinks he can't be and do what he wants to do. And that is your hero's journey, which speaks to people. And again, we talk about Gladiator. There is movie after movie, book after book, that has the same. The same set, the same story that you're going to start off and you're going to have challenges. I think we all know that. And it often speaks to the part of us that's been buried. Those challenges can often shape you as a person, and, boy, they can be painful at the time, but valuable, you know, months, weeks, years later. I know there's an old saying of your worst day could be your best day. And maybe something happens in life that you feel is terrible at the time, but one day you look back on. I've got one of those at the moment that I look back on many years ago, and at the time, it was horrendous. But I now look back and I'm like, boy, I'm glad that happened. So instead of going on your own hero's journey alone, we want you to get excited about joining a small group of guys who want to go on that hero's journey together and support each other. So we're going to help you find what that journey is you want to go on. Okay, it could be go traveling, write a book, a film, take up a new sport. It doesn't really matter what it is. Maybe you want to get incredible shape or be really strong or transform your health. These things are all achievable with focus, with taking action and being a man, with A plan. So if that feels like it's something you might be interested in on our website, you can give us a shout and we will schedule in a call with you, which usually takes about. Well, it's supposed to take 15 minutes, but once we get chatting to the guys who are interested, I know the last one, it ended up being about an hour. Because you start going down this road of sparking excitement is someone in there and their ideas. So let us know. We'll put the links on the podcast below. If you want to schedule a call and have a talk about. Maybe you don't even know what your hero's journey is going to be, but I'll give you a clue. We'll find it for you. And we're going to have one more podcast before the end of the year. This is a much shorter one. We've got some cracking guests lined up for, especially for January. We've got guys in military, we've got guys from the States, So we're expanding. And that's very much what the podcast is about. You know, if you just hang around with the same people who've got the same interests as you, you're going to get more of the same. And for the podcast, if you can, what we want to do is bring guys together who have got a story to tell, who are inspiring, who've got those golden nuggets, who. But maybe they are in a completely different sector to you. But isn't that important is to just branch out and listen to people that you wouldn't normally listen to. A great example, one of the podcasts that I love, I tune in for the host, not for the guest, because he has great guests on. But I listen to those podcasts and sometimes it might be a politician. And honestly, years ago I'd be like, I don't want to listen to this guy. How boring is that going to be? And suddenly he'd say, this one golden nugget. And you'd be like, shit, that's really interesting. I'm gonna apply that in my life and note this down. So I always say with the podcast, the guest is important, but often the messages and the golden nuggets that they can come out with are the priceless thing that you might suddenly find changes something in your life. So on that bombshell, we will wish you a fine weekend. Wherever you're listening to. This doesn't matter if it's in the UK or over in the States or anywhere else in the world. Say we' 34, 35. I know other countries where people are listening. So we appreciate all your, all your time, your most valuable commodity. Actually now it's bitcoin. No. But also for those that love the whole Man Academy T shirts and or the whole Man Academy mugs, they're now available online to buy hundreds of them for you or your family and everybody you love, which I'm sure everybody will do. We'll put the link in the show notes. And it was quite funny actually because we, we launched the T shirts and the bits only a week and a half ago and it was just great to see a couple of guys message saying I want to wear the whole Man Academy logo. I believe what you guys are doing, you know, helping guys get together to talk and go on their own hero's journey. So we'd appreciate anybody that buys one of the T shirts and then share a picture of yourself on social media and we'll, we'll give you a shout out. So I'm off to get a coffee. Coffee number two of the day. So enjoy your weekend and we will catch you next week for the last episode of the year. Enjoy.