EP080 - UPGRADE BODY AND MIND - PAUL BRADLEY (SEASON 2) | WHOLE MAN ACADEMY

Whole Man Academy. Because the world needs strong men. Whole Man Academy is changing the game for men around the world. It's for guys who want to live an epic life of fun and adventure. No matter what we believe, deep down, all men want to go on their own hero's journey to becoming resilient, confident, fearless and fulfilled. Listening to be inspired by guys who don't settle for living a life of mediocrity. This is your call to action. Action and call to adventure.

Are you ready? Okay, so this is the Whole Man Academy podcast, season two. My guest today is Paul Bradley, who we're going to get into a lot of what he's all about. But he's got an epic body. He's a coach. What does that mean? Well, he helps men transform their body, bulletproof their confidence and reignite their purpose. Tick, tick, tick for what we want to talk about. What I like about him is he's got a no nonsense approach which we're all about. Plus he's soon to be a dad, which we'll get into. We're going to talk about losing your edge, legacy, muscles, food, accountability, fatherhood and football. Paul, welcome. How are you? And where are you, mate?

Thank you very much for having me. I'm actually based in Dubai, been in Dubai for the last eight and a half years. I'm doing fantastically well. Just spent the last few weeks back in the uk, had a wedding, had stag booze and I was on a business mastermind for a week. So plenty going on and back in town now and yeah, very excited to be here.

So what was it like when you moved to Dubai? Because that's a fair old change from the uk. Or actually, whereabouts in the UK were you from?

Originally from Sunny Watford.

Lovely. Yeah.

Twin Miami.

Yep.

Yeah, there you go. And I actually was working as a headhunter for majority of my adult life. I was living in Watford and I had a couple of pals lived in Dubai and they were raving about it and I was just in one of them situations where I wasn't too happy where I was at. I was in a job where I felt like I was just going for the motions, didn't feel very valued, wasn't very happy and that. Mate, what are you doing in the uk? Come over here. It's fantastic. So I was like, okay. I went for a job interview at their place, got offered the opportunity. I've never been to Dubai before, I just rolled the dice and I thought, you know what, I've got many commitments. UK's getting me a Little bit down right now. And we just went, right, let's go. And then that was it.

What a change. And was that you and your partner?

Yeah, Lucy is my wife and at the time we weren't married, but we've been with each other about 13 years now. And she sort of backed me. I said, look, I think it's gonna be right for us. I think it'd be a good opportunity. And she. She backed me. She let me go, let me go. We went together and it's worked out really well. But I'll tell you what, it's one of them things where it's to start with is a bit uncertain because I had the opportunity of my job, but she didn't have any work. She had to find jobs for herself. She was out of work for like three or four months while she's finding a job. So it's quite a few tears before bedtime.

Yeah.

So it just really solidifies things, I think, one, when you. It's not one of the things when you're seeing someone and you move in with someone, you get to really know what they're about a bit more. And then when you actually move country, you see another sort of side. It can make or break you, but lucky for us, it's definitely bring us closer together.

Yeah, that's a really important point. I've always said about, you know, if you're dating someone, you're always seeing the best version of them when you're, you know, the initial dating, as it were, because you don't know the real them until you're with them. You know, morning, noon, night, through everything. So it sure is an interesting one when you move in with someone and you're like, all right, that's what you look like in the morning.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to get used to that. A few farts underneath the pillows. And I'll tell you one thing is that a lot of people who meet people in Dubai as well, I'll probably say the success rate is maybe about 40%. A lot of people meet over here and they don't really know they're from when they were back in England. I think the UK is. How do I say it? It's more real, it's raw, you know, a certain level of. I don't know about you, but street smarts you have to get used to. I mean, over here in Dubai, it's a phenomenal place to be, but, like, the kids are very pampered. There's no crime here because everybody's working so there's no crime. Everyone's here, like. And if you're raised here, you're kind of given a bit of a blanket around you, where in the UK you have to get a few knocks and bruises along the way and you kind of. You develop, I think, probably more real relationships, if I'd say that when people meet people over here, it's like, are you caught a bit of a bubble? It's not as authentic, I don't feel. So, yeah, it's an interesting one.

I was going to ask you also to state the obvious. Dubai is slightly sunnier than the uk and, you know, I've got friends that live in one of them lives in Colorado for half a year and in Miami for the other half. And she always says that, you know, being sunny every day does help you with your mood. And I just wondered, did you find that? Because basically every day you wake up and it can be a shorts and T shirts day if you want to.

Yeah, but I've got to be careful because I've got ginger skin. Yeah. It makes a massive difference and studies have shown that. Right. I think that the biggest, highest suicide rate is in Sweden, if I'm not mistaken. And they don't have as much sunlight. So sunlight makes a massive difference. It's a massive part of my morning routine as well. I always make sure that apart from hydrating, the meditation and journaling work that I do, they get some sunlight. Get some sunlight in your face. It's already proven that does a lot for your own mental health, but also for your own energy and just setting you up to win for the day, for sure.

Yeah, that's a big one on energy. And that's why, I mean, we recently launched our first online course and it was basically all about energy. And what we're trying to say is that it's about, you know, eating better, moving better, you know, thinking better, and it's all those different things that create that kind of, that wave of energy to help you hopefully do the cool things in life and make the better decisions. And I was going to ask you about. I mean, we're going to get onto that. I'll urge people to go and have a look at some of your, like, Instagram pics of your, your incredible physique. And I was going to say for you, how did you. How did you get to that stage? Because I saw that you'd shared a picture of you, as I think you called it, being skinny fat many years ago. And then to the transformation to where you got to where it's just kind of completely ripped. And I just wondered what made you go from skinny fat to where you then got to.

I think, to start with, I'm honest, I think I wanted to be more attractive to the opposite sex. I think we all go for a phase of like, you know what I want to. I want girls to like me.

Yeah, do the curls for the girls.

There you go. And I was always a skinny guy in my teens and going home, I had a few mates were in shape, and I didn't like the fact that maybe they were getting more attention than me. I was like, you know what? I think, like, a lot of people get into training because they're looking for some form of significance, and there's nothing wrong with that. I think we all want to have a natural urge for significance. We all want to be wanted, and we want to feel like we matter and we care. And for me, I soon realized that the quickest way for me to get confidence and for me to feel better with myself was to train. I like the feeling of training. My dad was used to play for WASP rugby. My granddad was a boxer. So I got the genetics from a cardio point of a fitness point of view. It's always kind of in my DNA. I always struggled to build muscle. I was always that natural skinny guy. And that was like a kickstart for me. But going back to your point about the energy, for me, that is the two biggest assets we have as men is energy and confidence. When those two things are peaking when they're high, then when unstoppable. But I think a lot of men is they struggle with confidence and they struggle with energy. And I feel like that's actually on a side note, one of the biggest problems we see with almost mental health is I don't think a lot of people struggle as much with mental health as they think they do. I feel like they've got an issue with exhaustion, burnout and energy.

Yeah.

And that's the key thing. So stress about my focus was to get in great shape because that's what I wanted from a confidence point of view and really an insecurity point of view, because I wanted people to like me and I wanted girls to like me. I think a lot of people go through that phase. But now, because I've got into the shape, I've been there and done it, I've kind of seen really not. This is why I coach men at the moment, is that, yes, it's great to have that body, but that shouldn't Be your primary focus. Your primary focus should be, right, how do I want to feel? Because there's nothing more important than how you feel. Nothing. Not your kids, not your missus, not your job. Because at the end of the day, if you don't feel good about yourself, they're getting a shittier version of you anyway. So if you prioritise how you want to feel energy, confidence, feeling good in the clothes that you're wearing, having more productivity at work, getting more shit done, feeling like you're accomplishing things, if you make that your primary focus as a byproduct, you're going to get in shape anyway. Because to make option A happen, you have to look after your body, you have to be careful of what you're putting in. You have to prioritize your rest, your stress management. If you're doing that, you're going to get in shape anyway. So I've kind of come full circle.

Yeah.

My whole approach to fitness and it's. It's probably one of the biggest reasons now why I'm able to coach men and get the results that we do.

That's the thing we say for. I mean, the average guy that listens to this podcast, I mean, all around the world, as opposed to just in the uk, but is of that age of basically kind of, you know, 25 to 45. And those guys are getting into the being a father age as well. And we see so much where often guys, and I saw it myself, where becoming a dad. Yeah. Suddenly you've got more priorities and you can't spend so much time necessarily exercising and do all that stuff. Do you see that with the guys you're training, that a lot of it is kind of the. The example was a guy that I knew who didn't like going, let's say, on holiday because he's got to take his top off and he felt like a bit of a. Yeah.

Oh, mate. 100. Like the amount of men who won't do things with their kids, like taking their kids swimming because they're too bouncy. Top off, it's outstanding. And that's a problem. Right. Because for me, as a dad, your number one priority is to be the best role model you can be for your kids. And there's a big problem we have as men. We have this inner conflict where we say we're committed to doing one thing, but our actions say something else.

Yeah.

And the amount of people are saying to their kids, right, look after you, be confident. School, you know, do do well at school. You got to work hard, don't eat that crap, don't do this. You've got, you know, do X, Y and Z. And they know they can do it themselves, so they're hypocrites. And that's when internal conflict happens.

Do as I say, not as I do.

Well, there you go. And the problem with that is that your kids are watching everything that you do, everything. The good and the bad. So if you're like, ah, can't be bothered to do this, a lot of dads say they don't have the energy.

To keep up with their kids.

They don't have the energy or the zest to want to do things at the weekends. So again, go back to the energy point, which is absolutely huge. That's got to be your number one asset. The number one priority needs to be cultivating energy, protecting it and creating it. Because you don't just have energy. So it's like confidence. You don't just have it. Yeah, wake up when I'm confident, don't wake up when I'm motivated. You've got to create. You've got to generate it from doing the right things with your body. But yeah, the problem a lot of men have is they think they've got a time management issue. Really? It's not time management, it's mind management. It's actually going right, Let me actually get clear on what I want. The biggest productivity tool I think there is knowing what you actually want and then getting rid of the bullshit distractions that are going to hold you back from getting there. And the biggest, biggest problem I see for men is they're not willing to take a little bit of time out from the noise, from the work, from what they think their top priorities are, and just get clear on what they actually want.

That's such an important point because funny enough, I spoke to a chap yesterday who had similar that was like, you know what I actually want to, you know, I don't spend any time focusing on what I want and I never have. And I said to him, well, we're not really taught that at school, are you? No one sits down and, you know, works through all that stuff. And therefore guys can often sleepwalk their way through life in a. Okay job or, you know, an average situation in their life. And you're like, what do you actually want? Like, I don't know. Yeah, yeah.

And what you're actually willing to do to get clear on what that is. So that's, that's the big thing for me, like doing the inner work and Creating time for yourself. It's like the best footballer in my opinion ever to play the game is Adam. Right. That's the goat for me. My, my number one player. And what, what do great players look like when they're on the ball? What do they look like?

They've got loads of energy. Yeah, Time, energy.

How's he creating that? How's he getting that much time? Isn't just have that time, he's creating the time by making a move away, by being smart. It's the same thing for men. You don't just have more time, you've got to create more time. What does that mean? That means. Well, getting up a bit earlier means stop watching Netflix, stop wanking around in your phone. Like what? Like the phone is the biggest problem I see for most modern men is that you just spend so much time wasting on that thing. So it's like, okay, show me, show me your diary, show me your schedule, show me how busy you are that you can't cultivate 30 minutes of your day to get clear on what you want. And that's a massive part of what I teach my men in their morning routines and what I call the transition routine, the evening routine. The put into your day, taking a bit of time to get clear on your priorities for that day. What are your top three priorities? What you need to be doing today that's going to make you feel, feel good and make progress at the end of the day. What I call measuring backwards. Like, have you done essentially what it says you're going to do. Because the quickest way to build confidence is make a promise to yourself and see it through no matter how big or how small. Like, I'm going to get my training session done today. I'm going to drink water, I'm not going to eat any shit today. I'm going to have that meeting, I'm going to make that call and have that conversation, whatever it is. When you say you're going to do something, then you follow through and do it. It feels good. It builds confidence. However, if you keep making promises that you keep breaking, your self worth diminishes every single time you do that. Yeah, big thing, get clear on what you want. Spend a bit of time thinking about what you want. You don't have to have all the answers straight away. That's another thing, you don't have to have the answers. But if you don't at least take action, some things to start with, then you're always going to feel like you're falling behind.

That's the thing about, as you said, something important that, you know, you don't have to have all the answers. We always trying to say to people, what I learned from, you know, going through years of personal development, do you just know what's the next step? You know, like you say, you can't plot out your entire career, you can't put out your business because, you know, things are going to, you know, you're going to get challenges and things that crop up. But it's like, you know, just what's the next step? What can you take action with? And I was going to ask you on that with. When you took your own transformation of body, what was the reason why did you get to in such incredible shape? Is it because you were doing, you know, shows and competitions and therefore is that what drove you to kind of create that what a lot of guys would see as, you know, that. That kind of completely shredded look?

Yeah. So it runs a bit deep. So after two weeks of being in Dubai, I lost my dad. My dad died suddenly, which was obviously a bit of a. A turbulent time, but one that the biggest positive to come off the back of that was it made me realize how short life was. It made me realize that I was, for a long time I was an autopilot just going for the motions. And it made me think, well, fuck me, life's short. I get one shot. I'm after the dust has set. Of course I was like, I'm going to be ruthlessly committed to unlocking the best version of myself. I don't want to look back and 20 years, 30 years, 50 years time and go right, you played it small. You didn't go after what you want. You, you shrunk, you contracted. So I made a commitment to myself then I'm just going to go after what I want in life and I'm going to be ruthlessly committed to going towards it. And there's something like when you lose someone close to you, you kind of get a bit more, I don't know, you've gone through such a tragic thing. You become. I felt a bit more bulletproof. So I fuck it, I've got, I've got nothing to nothing to lose almost.

Yeah.

So I was like, okay, what do I want my passionate about? So I knew that working as a recruiter, as in headhunting, wasn't really light of fire. Yeah, a lot of the times like this is the thing going back to the point of men going after what a lot of times we don't know what we want Right. And that's okay. But I guarantee, you know what you don't want, you know what you don't like, you know what you don't want. Start there. And that's what I did. I was like, well, I don't really like making money for other people. I don't like feeling like I'm a small part of a clog in a massive machine. I don't like, I don't feel like I'm respected. And respect a massive, massive thing that I've come to realize that most all of us men want, whether we know it or not, we all want to feel respected. I didn't feel that. So that was like, okay, well, I want to carve a path in a different avenue. And I was like, well, what am I passionate about? Everyone says, follow your passion. I'm like, yeah, follow your passion. But you got to make sure you're fucking good at that passion. Don't just follow your passion. You've got to make sure you're good at that and you can offer value in that area. That's key.

And you've got to pay the bills as well.

Sorry, mate.

And you've got to pay the bills as well.

There you go. Exactly. And it depends where you're at in the process. A lot of people, you know, you have to start with side hustle. And that's what I did. I was like, fitness is what I want to get into. One of the things I think I'm quite good at is modeling. So I'll look at someone that I want to potentially emulate. Not copy, but emulate. Go. I really like what he's doing, especially in the online game and coaches like, well, he's doing some great stuff. You find out a lot more about them and you go, I looked at a few people and thought, you know what, I really like the way that they're doing things and I'm just going to try and, you know, model that or look into that. That's what I did with my online business. I started that as I was working in recruitment, but then I felt like I needed to really justify my place, wrongly or right. I was like, well, I need to. If I'm going to break free of this job in recruitment, I'm going to step into the fitness industry. I need to get respect. And I thought the best way to do that would be to get myself into world dry shape and enter, enter a show. So that's what I did. And I went, I went absolutely balls deep into that. Got into the phenomenal shape for that show and sort of kept it, maintained it pretty well since then. But again, that was my kind of like I need to justify myself to do that. But in the process of doing that, this is, this is. And this is why it's great to have this conversation. Even though it may look good on paper, like, look at this guy, looks in great shape. That only tells one side of the story. And this is why I'm so adamant with the guys that I coach now that be careful what you want. Because even though you may think you want this powerful, athletic, amazing looking physique behind the curtain, I was struggling. I was mentally struggling. It nearly costing my relationship because to get to that level of physique you have to sacrifice a lot. I was sacrificing foods, no alcohol, obviously like not going out. But more importantly, I was a fucking dickhead. To be around my missus were like, I don't even recognize you, like who I just was. My sex drive was low. I didn't want to really be around people. I became very insular. And that was the biggest lesson. Okay, brilliant. It really, I've got some great photos, it looks fantastic. And people say, oh, you look in great shape. But really the best thing to come out of that was I realized that that's not actually what I want. That's not what I want. What I want is to be in great shape. I want to feel good, I want to be able to have great relationships. I want to be able to take my missus out on date nights. I want to be able to go out and piss my mates every now and then. I want to be able to go on holiday and not worry about coming back and being out of shape. So that reformed my start of my journey into online coaching. But really it's the lessons I learned from my mistakes which actually made me world class of what I do now.

It's one of those things where I know I spoke to different guys on the podcast who have in their own kind of field have got into say there's a difference between like great shape and I think you want to be in great shape as a, just as a man, you know, to be. Have physical strength, be able to run, lift, pull, carry, drag, etc, but one of the guys was a bodybuilder and then kind of speaking to David Gandhi who obviously has to have staying in that great shape for photo shoots. And that's the thing a lot of people say it's not easy. You know, it is really hard. You sacrifice a lot. And I know with especially when you get down to that very low body fat percentage that you basically end up, I mean, I think I've probably got to like double digits but not much more than there when I was really training hard. But you, you end up actually being quite exhausted all the time.

Yeah, the juice sometimes isn't worth the squeeze. And that's why I think the key thing is to. And this is why I work with a lot of my guys on is getting clear on what your motivations are. Like, I want to get six back. Okay, why do you want to get six back? Because I want to feel more confident in my top off. Okay, so why do you want to feel more confident in top off? Oh, you know, it was just that my misses to still look at me like she used to. Okay, tell me a bit more about that. Well, we haven't had sex in God knows how long and I'm kind of concerned that she might be, that she might run off with somebody else. Okay, now we're getting to the true motivations.

Yeah, now we're digging a bit deeper.

Digging a bit deeper and we're getting into. Okay, so cool. So why do you want a six pack? Again? You don't want a six pack. You want to have the confidence that getting in shape provides you so that you can make sure your relationship with your missus is on fire. Yeah, let's talk a bit more about that. And then it just opens up a whole. You can explore. The great thing about looking inwards is that you get to explore. It's infinite. Where a lot of people are trying to play this finite game. As in when I get the body, then I'll be happy, then I'll be worthy. When I get the car, when I get the money, when I get the job, then I'll allow myself to be happy. I'm like, no, that's not, that's not the focus. Because what you need to focus on is the infinite gain and actually making fitness a lifestyle. So to make fit to lifestyle, you can't be this all enough in mindset, you've got to be right. How can I make sure that what I'm doing right now I can do in 12 months time? Is what I'm doing right now setting me up to win long term? Can I see myself doing this 12 months from now? It's a question I always ask my guys. Because if the answer to that is no, I can't see myself doing this 12 months from now. Either the training is not sustainable. So either your eating habits aren't sustainable as in your restricting yourself too much or your training is too intense, you're going too mad because you haven't got the patience and you want to get the results yesterday. My job as a coach is to educate guys on really what do you actually want? Why get clear on that motive and then build the plan so they can. That sets them up to win long term, that's sustainable, and then essentially can end the sabotage of stopping and starting. Because it's the biggest thing I see with most men is they keep stopping and starting, stopping, starting. They cannot find the right system that's sustainable and allows them to make fitness a lifestyle. And that should be your number one aim, trying to make fitness a lifestyle.

Doesn't that come also from. It's a bit like with. When you speak to someone who will say, oh, I'm on the, you know, fill in the blanks, I'm on the whatever diet. And you go, all right, great stuff, tell me about it. And they do. And you're like, is that something you're to carry on for the rest of your life? And so now I'm going to do it for six weeks. And you go, so what happens when you finished? Well, I'll go back to what I was doing. So. Well, you'll get what you had then. So it's. It is that kind of caught in that on a hamster wheel to nowhere. And I was going to ask you with that, and I know you spoke about, like, with your dad passing away as well, did that make you consider your legacy as well? Which we said at the start we were going to kind of touch on, because again, I don't think that's a word that I even considered until I went to a big personal development conference in Miami, and it was a Tony Robbins one. And they spoke to some of the. Or some of the guys there spoke about legacy. And I was like, I hadn't given it much thought because I was in my early 30s, and now as I've got to my 40s and I've got two kids and ET cetera, you start to think, well, what. What do I want to be as my legacy when I'm, you know, whenever we depart this world? So what about yourself? What's your thoughts on that?

Yeah, I think the key to it, again, is to not. Legacy, for me is about. And that's why we've called it the legacy program. Essentially, it's about being the best or trying to unlock the best version of yourself so you can be the best role model you can be. And the best inspiration you can be to the people that step up. Kids, family, customers, whatever it might mean to you. Generally, it's gonna be something related to family. Right. The problem with that is people can get so attached to. Like I mentioned earlier, I'm going to work all my life. I'm going to really try and create this legacy and you lose sight of what's important to you. Okay. I went for a few. I went for a phase of doing that where I was like, I'm trying to build this business. I want to create this great lifestyle so Lucy can have more options and my kids can have more options so I can have all this thing. So I'm doing this work now so that one day it will be amazing.

Yeah.

Then I was losing sight of what's in front of me right here, right now. So it goes back to, like, when I was training for that, for the show. I was, like, losing sight of everything around me in the pursuit of this one thing, then only to achieve the thing and go, oh, fuck it. Is that. Is that. Is that it? You know? So I think the key thing with legacy is not to get too attached of, like, will people remember my name when I die. Legacy is like, well, you can't forget to stop living now. So the key thing for me is to be ruthlessly committed to going after what you want, but at the same time being fully aware and appreciating what you have. If you can get that balance right, you're probably going to live a quite a good life. Because I think a lot of people have got it the wrong way around. Either they're too scared of committing to being a man they want to be, so they say stuck, and they stay in their comfort zone and don't go off. They want. And they basically live a life of quiet desperation and die with their song inside them, which is my biggest fucking fear. I'm scared to death of that. Or they go so ruthlessly after what they want that you lose sight of what they've got. And, you know, again, there's like, this. For me, there's this pyramid of priorities where a lot of guys have got, like, work at the top, family, and then them at the bottom.

Yeah, right.

And that's. And they all get the scraps because they're not prioritizing their self. Whereas for me, you should be at the top. You should be the number one priority, then your family, and then you work. Because if you feel good about yourself, everyone around you benefits. And that's my core message. But, yeah, it's about. That's what legacy stands for. It's about you being the best you can be so the people around you can benefit.

That's one of the things that what I saw from either going on personal development conferences or now through the whole man academy is, as you say, with legacy and like all of it, it's about guys taking some time to focus on themselves. But what I saw as a common thing there was when we looked at kind of the frustrations for men was that a lot of them suffered with a lack of accountability. So they wanted to get in great shape, start a business, you know, do whatever it was they wanted to achieve. But when they kind of felt like you might create a plan for them, but then they were just left on their own sitting in front of a computer, and they didn't have someone to be like, okay, I want you to check in with me, I want you to tell you what to do. Is that one of the big things for you with accountability?

Accountability is everything, you know, that is, that is the key to getting results. And there's lots of different ways you can create accountability. What we do in our program, and this is what I've come to realize, is that the power of peer group is massive. Okay? Peer group, Peer group will always trump willpower.

Yeah.

So if me and you, if I'm like, I'm not drinking, I want to stuff alcohol, then we go out, we go out to a pub, for example. I've got willpower, I don't have to drink. And we meet up. There's me and you and a couple of our mates, and you three start drinking and having a great time. Me, my willpower will get beaten by the environment I put myself in.

Yeah, come on, mate, just have a beer. It's okay, Just one.

Because the environment I'm in. So your environment, your peer group will always trump your own willpower. So that works the other way. So if you're, if four of us are working out and say for yourself, you didn't really fancy it, you saw us three were smashing it. Fucking, I can't, I can't, I can't do it. I've got to do the work. Yeah, that's a big part of our program is it's group programming a lot of the time through the programs we have. So we've got a five day challenge, the 28 day, and then we've got our elite program and it's that peer group environment, that environment you put yourself into, which will make you raise your standards and make you raise Your game. So the accountability comes from the other people that you surround yourself with. It comes in with regards to how we check in with the guys. We have daily accountability. So people have got sharp every single day. Doesn't take long. Two minutes, three minutes. I think the key thing is to understand that if you are in the right environment, if you are surrounded by people and if you are struggling, it's a big thing. I try to say to guys, if you do feel like you're falling about falling behind, reach out.

Yeah, absolutely. Huge.

And I put a big, big emphasis. I'm very open and vulnerable, and I talk about a lot of my weaknesses and where I've gone wrong and, you know, some of the struggles I faced. And, you know, even. Even now, the other day I put a post on saying I haven't been as committed over the last couple of weeks. Respect to Y and Z. And I think it allows people to kind of open up. So I create this space of vulnerability, which I think is the. Again, when we talk about mental health, like being vulnerable and being okay with opening up and creating dialogue is fucking huge. And I try and create that environment. So when people are struggling, they feel like. And reach out.

Yeah, that's one of our messages has been. We're not saying that guys need to every day pour out all their woes to people because often some people don't want to hear it anyway. And one of my sayings that I heard once was 80% of people don't care about your problems and 20% are glad you've got them, which is always interesting. But it is that if you're. And it hasn't got to be struggling mentally like you're going to kill yourself. But if you're struggling and you're like, you know what? It is okay to reach out to a friend or your dad or a colleague or someone and say, this is what I'm going through. Any chance you can give me some advice? Help me what have you. And often people realize it's like a. What's the word? A release of pressure on their shoulders because they just hold it all in. So I guess for you it is that you're there to be that kind of person that some could come to. To say with your training, you know, I'm not quite getting it, or other things are getting in the way. What do you see that you often are. The most common things that guys, when they're trying to get in better shape, are struggling with. Once you've gone past accountability, is it food? As one of the things that guys struggle with.

Yeah, I think, I think the key thing to realize on our program is that we put a lot of work into. It's not just fitness. So it's like a more holistic approach lifestyle. Yeah, I put a lot of work into habits and developing the right habits and making people realize why they do what they do. Because everything we do, good or bad, and again there's no such thing as good or bad. It's just our perception of it. Yeah. Because we get something from it. So I think, to answer your question, I think it's just the consistency, staying consistent, like not allowing the bad habits to sabotage them because we've all got them. Whether it's drink, eating too much food, porn, I call it sedation. There's things that we go to which are our default mechanism. That's why it's so important that you know, naturally our brain is wired to find the worst, go to the worst case scenario because of the years we spent, you know, in survival mode. That's what our brain is, it's a survival tool. So it's very easy to go to the negative. It's actually quite hard to stay positive or to see the positives and get that perspective piece. So what I help guys do really with the mindset stuff is to make them realize that all we were trying to do is develop the right habits which sets you up for long term success. So I think the key usual happen with guys is an incident will happen. They either get injured or they have a breakup or they go, go on a piss for a weekend or something tragic happens or whatever it might be an emotional occurrence happens. So an event happens and you're given the option to how you deal with it. It's how you deal with it which is really, really important. I think a lot of guys, we're all going to spend time, no matter who you are, in drift mode or potentially what I call the shit zones where you just feel a little bit disconnected. Maybe you've lost a bit of your edge, lost a bit of motivation, you're not feeling too good about yourself. We're all going to face that at some point. The key difference for me is how long we choose to stay there. Because there's a choice how long we're going to stay there. Some men are addicted to being a victim or going through this blame game culture because they get something from it, they get attention. Right now we've all done that with our Mrs. With our family, played up and act like a dick because we get something from It. Whether we know.

Yeah.

Sometimes us men, we're like. We're like teenagers. We want attention. We want to want our wives to mother us, we want to feel like we're getting that attention from. So we might act up like kids. So for me, I just try and make sure that my guys, we're developing the right habits of routines and they know when they're. Or they feel like, if they feel like they're starting to slip, they can start putting the right things in place, the right mechanisms to avoid them spending too much time in the shit zone so they can recover and get back into the game.

Yeah, that's so the message there is find out, you know, what is your shit zone and get out of it as soon as you can. I like that.

Creep in. Like what? The common signs that are starting to happen. Usually you stop doing the basics really well. That's what I stopped, what I stopped doing. I might stop doing my journal. I might stop doing meditation.

Yeah.

Might only train a couple of times that week. I might find myself spending too much time on the phone. The great thing about the phone is it tells you how much time you spend on there.

Yeah.

Which is how much time you spend on it. Things like that start creeping in. I'll start getting up a bit late or going to bed a bit late. So there's little things that start to creep in and if you address it early on, that allows you to then get a hand on it.

That's an interesting one. Also you mentioned kind of your own routine and we're always big on. I mean, I think it's important to have a good morning routine, but a flexible one. Because if you're too hard on yourself and say, oh, I must do this, this, this, and then, you know, as you're going to see at some point. But for us, the kids have woken up in the middle of the night five times or the alarm's gone off in the middle of the night or something where you wake up and you're like, fucking hell. Like, I don't know what day is. But how has it been for you with kind of implementing your morning routine? Has that developed as you've kind of grown yourself as a, you know, your own kind of personal development?

Absolutely. It's always evolving. I've got a few non negotiables, but you're absolutely right, by the way. I think I've been victim of that by saying, this is what I've got to do. And if I don't do this by this time, you know, I Feel like a bit of a failure. And that's a big thing a lot of times when we're under stress. One thing I've learned recently is that make sure that the deadlines that you're creating are actual deadlines, not fake deadlines. I should be here by now. Like, no, I'm 40, I should have this amount of money by now. I should be living in this house by now. Fucking, I'm falling behind. Or like morning routine. I haven't done this by 8am that's what I say am, I haven't done my morning routine shit. So you create all this extra anxiety. And the thing about anxiety, and this may trigger some people, is you create it all by yourself. You create it by living in the future and thinking, well, what if it doesn't work out for me? What if it goes wrong and your imagination takes over and before you know it you're fucking, you're homeless, your wife's left you and you've got nothing going. It's like fucking, oh, how about that shit?

How'd that happen?

How'd that happen? But in the present moment, everything's absolutely fine right now. So why am I creating this problem anyway with the morning routine? Mine's evolved a lot. Right now it's a case of I'm getting the great thing about online business and I'm sure it's going to change massively when the boy comes is obviously coming in about six weeks. I've got the luxury now where I can choose what time I want to get up. So I will experiment sometimes. I'm getting up super early right now because the jet lag I'll face from being back in the uk I'm just allowing my body to wake up when it does, which is around about 6:30.

Yeah.

But the non negotiables for me is I'm always got to make sure I hydrate. That's key. So half a liter of water, I want to make sure that I like to get caffeinated. So I want to make sure my brain's in the right place. I've got this stuff here actually, but if I've got it, put it around. But there's this thing called lion's mane which is really good for cognitive function.

Right. Okay.

It's amazing and it really helps me just get the brain firing and then I'll move into journaling. So I'm massive on journaling. But before I do any of that, the key thing, do not touch this for the first hour.

I was gonna ask because otherwise this.

Is the thing if you're getting up, the first thing most people do is look in their phone, go on Facebook and Barry from Bradford said something about Boris Johnson or something about coronavirus. And you're like, fucking. That's triggering me. You're already. Yeah, already on someone else's to do list, right? You're already on someone else's problems or you check your emails, whatever it is, you put yourself into a reactive state which then can ruin your morning. So the first thing, without doubt, no phone. That's probably anyone takes anything away from this, I think will massively help with their own productivity and getting going in the morning. Don't look at your phone for at least 15, 20 minutes. Half an hour. Yeah, Game changer for me. And then just getting all the stuff that's in my head. A lot of people that suffer from anxieties or overwhelm, especially it's because they're carrying so much stuff in the head. So I literally try and declutter all the stuff that's in my head. I get it onto paper and I don't just have my phone or electronically. It's actually a pen and paper stuff I call a brain dump. And that literally declutters my mind. And in the mornings when I come up with all my best ideas, I get some good ideas. If I've slept well, I'm feeling energized. So I get all my ideas, my strategy stuff down. Then I move into journaling and journaling. Just really asking yourself powerful questions to steer your mind in the right direction so that, you know, you get clear on what you need to do that day to make progress. And that's the kind of morning routine. Sometimes I might go out for a run in the morning as well, depending on where I'm at. It's a bit hot area here in Dubai at the moment, so when it starts to settle down, I'll go for a run. But the key thing I want to mention about the morning routine and what you touched on a bit earlier is that I got so into my morning routine, okay? So into trying to take on the world and trying to create this monster of a business and trying to be the man that I'm going to be and unlock my potential. We're so into that. I used to go for this, my morning run, and I used to love it. And I'd come back and as soon as I'd showered up, I'd go straight to my desk and I'd start working and I'm like, you know, I'm Doing. I'm trying to do all this stuff. I'm trying to re, you know, create a great lifestyle for me and my family. And I realized I hadn't even said hello to my missus. I've done all of that stuff.

Yeah.

And I come back and I've got my message. My Mrs. Gone, I'm off now. And I was like, hang on, you're doing all this work now so you can create a good lifestyle for the future, but right here, right now, you're not being a very good husband because.

You'Re not getting any attention.

I was, ah, hell, that. That hit a light bulb. What I do in my morning routine is like, I have like 10 minutes or whatever where I have a coffee with the missus and we just chat with the dog. We just chat, we just catch up. So when she leaves to go to work, we've created a really good connection. And it's like, have a great day. And I feel like, you know what? That's. That feels nice. Making sure I'm not losing sight of what I've got.

I think that's really important. It's these little things that, you know, with the podcast, after I probably added up 100 hours of talking to guys from all around the world, it's these little things that guys can implement that aren't costing them any money and they're not going to take a lot more time. But it's like, you know, with your partner, is it that you can just spend five minutes in the morning if your schedule is aligned and one of you hasn't already left for work, but just spending a little bit of time without your mobile and, you know, talking to each other. And I think for us, when Em and I both left the city pretty much at the same time and moved to the countryside, started our business, and I'd find that where you'd get up and you'd be like, right, I must do this, this, this, this, this, this. And then by the end of the day, you'd be like, I haven't really spoken to her because you're too. I'm busy being busy, you know, creating and producing and things. And then you're like, what about doing something that's enjoyable, if that makes sense. And that's what we had to, you know, especially once the kids came along, that in became even harder because they are such a drain on your time. You know, they. There is no off switch for two little boys who just run around all the time. And I was going to ask you with that, does that Also lead into kind of. So you said about doing a brain dump. I know it's the. I don't know if you've read the book Getting, Getting Things Done by Dave Allen. So he talks really very much about doing a brain dump. And his comment was, your head is for having ideas, not for holding them.

Yeah.

Which, and that's one thing we try and say to guys is, you know, in the morning, probably a few years ago, if you just said, I'll do some journaling, I'd be like, fuck off. That sounds really wanky. Now I realize that those kind of things, getting them out of your head can be really powerful. What about with the guys you're working with? Do you kind of encourage them to get a morning routine going as well?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Like, but at the end of the day, everyone's got different things they've got going on. So like I say, some people got kids, some people work at night shifts, some people are doing all sorts of stuff. But I, I just think that regardless if it's a morning routine or whatever, what is the morning routine? Essentially, it's about carving out time for yourself alone, away from the noise.

Yeah.

No distractions, you can get clear. And what I call it is checking in with yourself before you check in with the world. Right. So you're not on someone else's do list. Right. So whether that's a morning routine, an evening routine, whatever it needs to be, the principle is for you to take some time by yourself, away from the message, away from the kids, away from your phone, away from the noise, so you can create a little bit of inner stillness so you can get clear on exactly what it is you want to achieve. And again, the big thing for me on my own journey is I've gone on a bit of a spiritual journey over the last sort of year where I've done a lot more meditation, a lot more breath work, which I didn't mention earlier about the morning routine, which is, which has been a complete game changer for me. But then again, like you, I thought meditation, breath work. Fucking hell, that is wanky. That's a bit out there. But one of the things I'm really passionate about is I love to study what makes people successful. Like, why does this guy over here, why has he got this five bed, detached house driving arrangement? Like what's he done to create that? You know, obviously in Dubai there's a lot of wealth here. I'm like, I'm fascinated by what has that person done, how they cultivate that lifestyle for Themselves. Because the same. To learn it. A lot of people might get envious or think, oh wankies, you show up on my. How do you do that? Yeah, show me, tell me how you did that. How did you invest your money? What. How did you create your business? And there's a lot of. And books. This is why books is fantastic because they just tell you so much information. And I study people who are successful on. Successful, that's your own perception of it. But people who create something and one of the key things that come out of that is meditation. A lot of people meditate, a lot of people do the breath work, a lot of people do the journals. Okay, well if they're doing it and they've been successful, let me give it a shot. So I recommend it. I've got one of my higher end programs which is called the Elite Council, which is, I only work like a small group of guys. And this is where we really get into the nuts and bolts of habits, routines, morning routines, the breath work, the meditation. But the key thing to all of this is it's all going to be doing this stuff. But if you don't know what, where you're going with it, if you're not clear on the vision you're looking to create, if you don't have targets, goals and outcomes that you're looking to hunt down that excite you, it's all, it's all just kind of a bit of a waste of time. To have the morning routine is great, but at the top of it you've got to know where you're going, you've got to have the direction, you've got to be typing in the sat nav, so you've got the direction of where you want to go. And that's what I feel that the morning routine does. It allows you to connect to where you're at so that you can go and hunt down these targets that are going to take you to the next level. And that's massively important. And going back to the point you mentioned about the wife and making time for your wife, that's a big thing for me. So I've got four key areas which I think guys need to focus on in terms of having a powerful life. So it's your mindset, your body, your relationships and your career. Like all these four areas are on fire and you're living a powerful life. Right. Especially relationships. Because the quality of your life is determined by the quality of relationships.

Yeah.

With your wife. So like dating your wife, setting goals and targets in those Areas like might be 12 date nights over the next 12 weeks, might be holiday 12 weeks, it might be dating your kids, going for walk. All these things are so important to have in the diary because it creates that connection and it allows you guys to connect in with each other and excites you because you've got something to look forward to, which is massively important.

That's a really important point. Actually. I was listening to a podcast the other day when I was traveling down to London and the guy. Sometimes you hear stuff that you know and you've heard before, but you've kind of just, it's, it's, you know, it's not so much priority, so it's gone out of your head. And he was talking very much about, you know, sitting down with your wife or your family, your partner, whatever, and like literally mapping out the next six months or year and maybe putting in your holidays and things and saying, look, they're non negotiable. Yeah, I'm going to work hard on my business and you know, providing for the family, etc. But I am going to create those spaces where we can spend time together. And that leads me on to, for you, becoming a dad in six weeks time. What was it like when you first knew that you were going to be a dad?

It's an interesting one because I've been with my wife Lucy now for like, I think it's 13 over 13 years, right? And a lot of people say you're never really ready to be a dad. And I was like, okay. And I always took information door, but I've never, when I found out, I was like, well, I'm 100% ready for this. Like, this is, this is why I feel like my whole purpose is, is to be a dad. I've always known for, since I was young, I wanted to be a dad. Then when my own dad passed away, it just really kind of reconfirmed. That's what I want. And I want to, you know, massively lead by example. I want, I want. I've got a message at the moment for dads, like, be a kid superhero. Like, that's your fucking job. Be your kid's superhero. We all looked at our dads at some point for that's my dad is a superhero. Right, but that's what your kid thinks of you. But if you're not actually doing the right things to cement his thoughts about you, then there's, there's an issue here. We have to make sure that our kids look at us like superheroes. Like we're unstoppable. Like, we can. We can do anything. That may not always be the case, but at least we should be striving to not let them down, essentially. So, yeah, I'm so excited about it. It's kind of a bit of a surreal one. I don't know how you felt about it when, you know your wife's pregnant, she's doing essentially the work and just kind of like just watching it from.

The sidelines, feeling in the background.

Yeah, it was a bit surreal. But I spoke to quite a few people about and said that as soon. As soon as it's here, then it will. Then you obviously, you'll start feeling those emotions. And, yeah, it's just. It's just an absolute adventure and I can't wait to get.

To get started. Yeah, I'm sure, you know, plenty of the men that listen to this are our dads and have got, you know, either. I mean, some of them have got four or five kids, others just one. And it's like, I don't think anybody can prepare you. For me, it was kind of when Hudson was born out a little one who. That was four years ago. It's like you have such an overwhelming sense of love for this little monkey that's just popped out and you're like, okay, you know, you're there to protect them, provide for them, you know, hopefully create a nice kind of life for them. And for us then when we had Bowie as well, I mean, it is really hard work. I mean, it's great, but they just don't have any off switch at all. And I have to kind of, for me, sometimes temper my. You've got to remember that they're only little and they don't understand that you, especially if you work from home, they're like, well, they didn't ask to come into your office. They're at home and it's their home. So when they're making noise, sometimes I've gone out and I'm like, please just. Just stop driving around your scooter and smashing into things. But then you kind of, you know, five minutes later, you're like, no, they are only little and they're just, you know, they're making the way in the world. We're not sending our kids to school. So we're home educating them.

Oh, amazing.

Which is growing massively in the UK and I would guess around the world, considering that the kind of restrictions that people are putting on little kids at school these days and what they're being taught. So it's Going to be. That makes it even more interesting for us because they're not at home five days a week because they go out to different clubs and forest schools and stuff. But we're a big thing about getting in nature as much as possible. Sitting a kid down who's 4 years old, Monday to Friday at a desk, trying to teach them all the time, some of the stuff they don't even want to learn. It doesn't work for us. So we're trying to teach them more about how life works out of the desk and that environment. Often because it creates, you know, school often just creates obedient workers who are going to go and work at a company. So we'll, we'll see how that works. But what about yourself with. I was going to ask you about, with your schooling. Did you enjoy school? And if so, like, would you ever consider when your little one is older, you know, taking. Keep them out of school and teaching yourself?

Yeah, I think especially now, like, you can see with how things are playing out in the world how, like, you know, you're kind of, I wouldn't say brainwashed, but you're kind of told to be, like I said, obedient. Anyone who wears a suit and a tie, you follow what they do. And you only have to look at some of the people, like the older generation who just believe everything that comes out on the news, the media, like the guy says that the news, it must be true. And I think our generation start to clock on it. Hang on, this isn't, this isn't right. What you're trying to say here has an agenda behind it.

Yeah.

What you're trying to say here is favoring a select few people in the world and it doesn't add up. And you can see a lot of that going on now. And actually we've got our cousins in America. They've homeschooled their two kids. And I was like, bit concerned, like, will they socially get the same. Because one thing about school is what it does teach you. It teaches you how to be social. It teaches you about like team environment, sports and things like that. And I said, aren't you concerned that maybe they might miss out on that? And I said, no, these two are the most social kids you ever see. Whenever we put them into environments, they're so friendly, they're so social. Yeah, they're amazing. So that kind of ease my mind a little bit on that. But my experience at school was, it was an interesting one. Like I say, I was never the most academic guy. I was Never going to be like someone that was going to get all A's. I struggled a little bit with that. I was very good at sports and that was my thing, sports, having fun with the guys at school as you do. But I always felt like school wasn't setting me up to win. And that became really evident that. And this is the biggest. One of the biggest early lessons I learned about hard work and perseverance was that I was always a D student, like always a B student. I actually managed to go to a really good school. I got in because of sports.

It was called Palmer's.

It's a fantastic school. It was like the best school you could have about it being a private school. Basically. It was phenomenal. I was lucky to get in there, like I say, because of sports, but D level student came to GCSEs and always got DMFs. And my mum hired me a tutor, a coach essentially, and I didn't want to do it, but I went through, I persevered and actually ended up getting a B. And that was my first lesson. I'm like, okay, if you want to, if you work hard, you can achieve something which really cement something. Also looking back now is that if you want to get ahead, hire someone that can help you get to the next level a lot quicker. Like if I want to go and learn, learn a different language like Spanish, I could go and get all the audiobooks. I could sit at home now because a lot of people go on to learn something new. Yeah, I'll spend probably the next year stressed, like. Or I could go and hire a Spanish tutor who knows what they're doing, who knows their onions, pay a bit of money and I guarantee probably within about a year or two I'll be speaking fluent Spanish. Yeah, you can get the fast track route or you can go the hard route. And that's all I say to a lot of people. But yeah, I think school was always one of them ones where I kind of struggled academically. You got into sixth form and all they cared about my school was if, if you're going university, if you weren't going university, they didn't want to know about you. And I think Gary Vaynerchuk talks a lot about like that school sets you up. It's not meant for entrepreneurs and creators, it's for yes men or people that want to go to university. And I didn't go university, I went traveling instead. Went to Australia and Thailand. I'm so glad I did because that life experience and I learned so much from that. So, like, when it comes to raising my own kids now, like, I love what you guys are doing. I. And that's brilliant. I think connecting to nature is absolutely massive. Getting out and about, not spending so much time on devices. But I'm unsure, actually, I'm unsure what route we would go down. But I feel like that's going to get a lot more popular, especially in America. It seems to get a lot more popular because you can see how especially universities now, they've got this kind of agenda and this kind of like woke culture that's looking to create. I don't want my kids being raised to be fucking little chefs, to be honest. I want to have a bit more influence on their lives and I could definitely see the appeal of that.

Yeah, no, we've definitely seen. And as you said, in the us, the more people we follow, it's kind of. It was growing out there and over here, we've seen, especially in the countryside, a lot more people that are looking to take their kids out of school or not send them to school to start with us. And that's what we saw with, you know, some of the restrictions where, you know that the kids are being segregated in classrooms or in the playground and they're not allowed to do this, they're not allowed to do that and put their hand up to go to toilet in groups and all this stuff. And you're like, what it was taking away is their individuality of actually saying, I'm not really interested in that. And I couldn't give a shit about science. I thought it was really boring. So I just piss around for the whole time that science was on, trying to burn things with the Bunsen burner. And I was quite good at that. But then you'd be labeled as someone that's like messing around. You're like, well, it's just fucking boring. So I've got no interest. So that's where we're looking at. It's the same as you get older. I always say, for a guy, if he's doing a job that he finds really boring, you're like, man, you might spend like 40 years or something doing this. So, you know, I'm not saying you need to leave immediately, but at least, like you say, have a plan in place of, you know, what, what kind of stuff lights your fire. Now, last question for you. We mentioned that you were very good at sport and we're going to talk about football. I'm guessing that you're a Manchester United fan. I might be wrong.

Yes. I'm from Watford and I'm a Manchester.

United fan of course, like, well, I'm from Kent, so I'm obviously a Liverpool fan. Your thoughts on the big man Cristiano Ronaldo coming back to the, to Old Trafford to kind of light the. Light the touch paper because he's been sitting setting the kind of country alight with some of his performances recently.

Yeah, he just is. Is the man. I think like for him, he guarantees you goals like he hasn't been. He's moved into this more central role now. So he's not going to be the Cristiano vogue and taking on players and. But he's in the box. He scores I think like 8% of his goals now in that box area. So yeah, he's going to get your goals. That's one thing. He guarantees you his goals and a lot of people sort of potentially look to write him off. But he's already proven that he got played a month last last month, the month of September. Potentially bit excited. But for me as a United fan, I still feel like this is all great, but we've kind of bought Cristiano which is amazing, he's made a big difference. But that center midfield role, we've got Fred and McTominay, they're massively out of depth. So as much as I'm loving Ronaldo, I'm always someone like, that's great. But let's have a look at the real problem areas here. I mean it's taken us like eight years to find a decent center back partnership. Yeah, I do get concerned with some of the recruitment policies we have at United, although it has improved. But we need to get that those two sentiment or at least one world class sentiment in there.

I think, I think it's setting up for a great season. I interviewed Neil Mellor, the former Liverpool player, you know, a couple of months ago and it was really interesting talking to him about Howie Liverpool's season last year, like losing Van Dijk to injury fairly early on was literally devastating because he probably is the best defender in the world, if not one of the top, top few. And it just shows how the difference of one man coming in like Ronaldo can suddenly create a buzz. And you probably agree with this, especially being a Man United fan, but I saw someone had said, like with Mo Salah where he's setting these records with scoring, that he's, you know, the most exciting player etc, and someone wrote on Twitter and I can't remember who it was, but said, yeah, but other people don't pay to Other fans don't tune in to watch Mo Salah, whereas for me, if I had the chance to go and watch Ronaldo, he is the greatest or one of the greatest players of all. You've got people that aren't Man United fans that are tuning in. Part of that, for me, is about. I don't know how old he is, but he's kept himself in great shape, which is part of what we're talking about, I'm guessing. He's consistent. He does everything. How do you see it with Ronaldo, do you think it's part to do with his mindset and that, you know, he's kept himself in incredible shape?

Yeah, 100%. His. His mindset is. Is what allows him to get in shape. It's the biggest thing. I think a lot of people, like, oh, he's in great shape, but without having the mindset, without having the desire, the drive to want to be the best. And that's what separates him. Like, if you speak to, like, Rio Ferdinand's come up with quite a lot of insights. Even Sir Alex Ferguson, he. He was that guy who was first in the training. It's a old cliche, but he was the first in training ground and the last to leave, and it's always been doing extra work. There's one time Alex Ferguson was telling the story where they're at the training ground and it was pissing down rain, it was getting waterlogged, and Cristiano was out there doing free kicks. Cristiano, you got to come back inside now. You're going to fuck up the pitch. You're going to get injured. Right, boss? All right, boss. Right, boss. He turns around and he gets. Gets word that Cristiano is on the ASHRAE surface. He's gone from there. He's gone the Astro surf, and there's nothing he could say to him. He's, like, absolutely worried about him overdoing it. So he's on the Astro turf hitting him free kicks. Rio Ferdinand said that when he used to go around to Cristiano's house, he'd have, like, an entourage there. It wasn't like an entourage of hanging on. It was doctors, it was chefs, it was everything like that. So I think these days, especially being a professional footballer and what I even say to men, your average day, men, is that if you can outsource things like the nutrition, what don't. If you got. If you're struggling for time, don't be slaving away in front of a stove, you can outsource it to A meal prep company do that. And that's what Cristiano was doing. They've got chefs and things like that and just prioritizing your longevity. And a lot of the men and dads that I speak to, one of the biggest fear is growing old. And growing old and not, you know, and diminishing, you know. And I think a lot of us get concerned about not being able to see our kids grow up, not being able to walk your daughter down the aisle. So growing old and making sure as you get older, you still getting better at improving and getting stronger. And Cristiano just embodies that. He's like, well, I know that I'm going to have to do a bit more work on my prehab. I know I'm going to have to do a bit more work stretching, and I'm going to have to spend a bit more time listening to my body. And he's just a great example of that. If you do look after your body, I think a lot of men hit 30, just give up, and I'm, fuck, that's me done. Yeah, listen, you've got so much more life than you yet. And if you do the right things, look after energy, you can go on to be in great shape in your 50s and 60s. And here's the thing. When you do see someone like Ronaldo, although he's 36, but looks 30, right. When you do see someone that plays long term as an athlete who goes on the Federers and people like that, you're like, man, that's so powerful. And it's like the guys that are in their 40s and 50s who are in shape, for example, they stand out so much above the rest of the guys because most people in the 40s and 50s aren't in shape. So if you can be that guy in your 40s, 50s, and even 60s, and we've got guys in the program, it just. It just looks even more amazing because there's not many people that actually doing it.

Well, that's one of the big things I was going to say, you know, for guys listening, it is never too late. I've seen great examples of guys that started doing, you know, strength training, as you say, in their late 50s, 60s, 70s, who still, you know, have got an incredible shape. So it's a reminder, you know, whatever, wherever you are in life, there is always an opportunity to, you know, drive forward, get a better body. And as you said, if you're getting into the training, I think the training helps your mental health as well. Maybe you eat better you get healthier, you're a better man to be around. So it's something for all guys to consider. Well, last question for you is, I'm sure there'd be guys listening here that are like, Paul sounds like he knows what he's talking about. I wouldn't mind working with him. How would they find out a bit more about what you do?

Yeah, so they can go to my Instagram page. Paul Bradley coaching. Same on Facebook as well. Drop me an email. Paul@PaulBradleyCoaching. Sorry, Paul@PaulBradleyFitness.com so that's Paul BradleyCoaching for Facebook, Instagram. Paul PaulBradleyFitness.com for email. And at the moment we've actually got an opportunity to come on board our five day challenges or our 28 day challenges, which we run kind of every month and every two months. So yeah, on social is the best place to get to get to know me a bit more. And we're always looking to work with men who are committed to unlocking their best version of themselves.

Yeah, that's the thing. It's committed, isn't it? I would say if you're doing coaching people, you want some that wants to take action and isn't like, you know, it might be nice to do it, but I'm not sure. Could you, like, listen, you're going to waste my time. So I want someone that is, as you say, committed.

Yeah. I think the key thing to realize is that, you know, sometimes you're just not ready and that's okay. Like, you have to be ready and you will go through phases where you feel like you're not ready and that's okay. Like, don't beat yourself up about it. But I feel like when you are ready, you'll know and you're like, you know what, I need to do this. And sometimes you have to go through some setbacks and disappointments. Sometimes you have to go through some trauma to wake you the fuck up. And that's what happened to me. I have to wake myself up to realize, shit, you only get one shot. You only get one opportunity at this life. So why would you waste it and potentially die with this song inside of you? Don't be that guy. Be the guy that gets what he wants from life. Be the guy that understands that if he does apply himself, if he does do the work, then anything's possible. It sounds a bit cheesy and bit cliche, but it's true. But you have to start somewhere. And like I said earlier, never too late everyone's got the possibility and the potential to go to that next level and it starts by taking that next step.

No, perfect. That's a good, it's a good message to end with, you know, for the guys that listening. Again, we hit guys in, I think it was over 40 countries at different points. So there'd be guys all around the world kind of nodding and going, something to think about. But. And then what's your, what's your plans there? What time is it there?

We're three hours ahead now, so it's 12 o'. Clock. So I've got a call, I've got a business coach that I've got a call with after this. Then I'm going to go do some training, as you might expect. And then we've got an afternoon of doing performance reviews. So what I like to do with my guys is like them to check in with them and do performance reviews. Getting content ready and yeah, just trying to add some value. So the biggest thing that I, I try and realize is that every day my number one mission is to add value and try and make sure that I try and have a positive impact on, on somebody. So whether it's through the podcast or through a video message or content, that's the end of the game. So. Yeah, and then making sure that get the work wrapped up so I can make sure my pregnant wife has got the attention she needs.

The most important bit at the end. Yes, Paul, I appreciate you for a. The work you're doing helping men, which is for us is one of the biggest things. And also taking the time out of your busy schedule to come and talk to us. And this will go out as one of the first podcasts of series two, which is exciting and again, it's all about finding guys who are living their own version of epic life. So I appreciate you taking the time.

Anthony Topman, really appreciate it. Enjoyed the conversation.

Lovely. Thanks, Paul.

Thanks for listening. Remember to sign up to our game changing weekly E letter that's read by men around the world. Sign up@homeanacademy.com forward/movement. Until next time.