EP089 - WARRIOR SPIRIT - CYRUS K. HENRY | WHOLE MAN ACADEMY

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Okay. So this is the Whole Manor Academy podcast, episode 89, first one of 2022. So happy new year to everybody that is listening around the world. My guest today I'm really excited about is Cyrus Henry. Who is he? An indigenous Maori from New Zealand. He's the founder of, and I'm going to pronounce it wrong, but Tamatane. He's also transformation coach, energy healer, embodiment movement coach and artist. Sound alchemy. I don't even know what that is. And he's the man behind the awesome men's retreat, which we're going to talk about. So, mate, how are you and where are you?

Thank you so much for that introduction. I'm really good, thank you. I'm super excited. And I am currently in Central Latin America, Nicaragua, San Juan del Sur.

And what's that like? Because, I mean, as a man that's, you know, worked in London for 20 years like I did, and then moved to the countryside. You know, the countryside for me is some chickens and getting out in some fields. But what's it like for you? Because you were saying we talked off air that you also Miami prior to this.

Mm. When I first came, there was a bit of a culture shock. Specifically, firstly the language. I wasn't prepared to learn a new language because I came here due to the world reasons. And yeah, it was a bit of. It's just a different culture. Like, for me, for me specifically, coming from New Zealand, very engaged and in touch with the traditions and indigenous culture. And coming to San Juan del Sur, maybe just this specific town, I didn't quite feel that connection. Also, San Juan del Sur is more of a tourist town. And so as I've been here, which I've been there for like two years now, I've learned I've found places that allows me to. Allow me to feel the culture. So being here currently, right now is actually fantastic. It's blissful. I'm really grateful to be here because of the freedom that I'm experiencing.

That's great. I know I've Enjoyed looking at your Instagram and your website about the, you know, the retreat, which we're going to talk about. But I'm sure many of the men who are listening to this again, you know, in all different countries around the world would probably look at it. And especially the pictures of the. Of the retreat, you know, to be in nature, to be surrounded by men who kind of can let go of all the bullshit that. That weighs on our shoulders and just kind of, I don't know, explore what it is to be a man. I think would be really powerful. I honestly, I looked and I was like, shit, I need to go to this.

Yeah.

So probably have to ask permission from. From my partner. But now let's talk about originally the. Now I even can pronounce it probably indigenous Maori. So what about your upbringing? Give us a little bit about the kind of the. The younger guy that grew up to be the man he's now.

Aha. Yeah. Thank you for the question. So grew up in New Zealand. Indigenous mori is the indigenous culture of New Zealand. And so my tribe, my tribe is Maitirangi Ntirokawa, which Ngaitirangi comes from the middle of the north island of New Zealand, and Ngai Te Rakawa comes from the bottom half of the North Island. And so generally the indigenous Maoricultures have tribes that are scattered throughout all of New Zealand that we identify with. Throughout identifying tribes, you can say, oh, you're from this family. These are families that are involved there. And so I grew up in a very classic traditional New Zealand upbringing. A lot of abundance of food, wild food, a lot of abundance of community. And these are things that I've realized being in another country, like, oh, well, I actually did grow up in a community setting. Oh, wow. I did have access to an abundance of like, natural wild food. As I've become an older adult and I'm starting to understand more of the world. And so a part of my upbringing was firstly my nan. My grandmother is an elder and our tribe and owns a lot of land. And so she was. I remember throughout my teenage years, she was away quite a lot. My two older brothers spoke the language. My first oldest was also a speaker because we have a traditional grounds that we have, which you can imagine is like we have a kitchen house, we have a sleeping house, we have a prayer house, and it's called a marae. And then also on the marae is like the elders, like cabins that they live there. And this is a place where we do celebrations, acknowledgements, kind of experiences. And generally, if there's new people either of status that are new to the town. We'll do a traditional welcoming and so we'll welcome them in. And so I grew up with my traditions and my customs quite. Yeah, grew up quite well with my traditions and my customs. And my oldest brother led the haka. My second oldest brother led the haka, like, throughout high school and for the rugby teams. I also naturally progressed into that leader role of leading the haka for my rugby team and also the school.

Well, we're going to get onto the haka because I've written some of the notes because I didn't want to cock it up, but, you know, you kind of creating your own. Own version of it. But what was it like for you also growing up with. I mean, you didn't mention your father necessarily, but did you have a dad? Were you really close to him? Did he teach you things like hunting and all the different things that for pretty guys over here we miss out on?

Great. That's a great question. I didn't grow up with. With a father. So I come from a family of seven of us. There's seven of us, but us four older boys have different dads whom we've never met.

Right, okay.

And then the three youngest have the same dad, which was my stepfather, whom I was with for, like, from the ages of 7 to 14. And then I moved back with my grandmother, and before then I was with my grandmother. And so therefore there was already that. That gap of the father figure. I did have strong male role models because my, my mom had uncle brothers. And so they were quite strong, strong male figures. But yet there was still. I was still discovering, like, what it is to be what a. What a male figure is, what a father figure is. And I think this is really important to share because I had a stepfather and during that time of experience, a stepfather, I. I want to say it was a little bit of a cliche dynamic. Cliche, cliche dynamic meaning abusive stepfather, Physically abusive. And. But then also my stepfather was also the breadwinner, not just in my family, but also in the extended family. And so therefore there was also this. Why isn't anyone stepping in? Why isn't my older brother stepping in? Why isn't my uncle was like, stepping in. And yeah, as I got an old. I'm like, oh, there's also this dynamic which also led to me having trauma around money as well. And like, money was like this person. And I met this. And I meant, like, really constricting. And so, yeah, I was kind of looking for A male figure, but also within the Mori culture, there's a really strong male warrior presence.

Yeah.

And with that, that gave me a lot of opportunity for release. And so, yeah, so I did learn a lot from my stepfather. I did take little bits from my older brothers. I did take little bits from my uncles. And then. And then when I moved away at 14, I met my. My big brother's girlfriend's parents, and then I started to develop an idea of a nurturing father figure.

Right. But I'll tell you what, that's really important because, I don't know, I'm sure plenty of men that listen to this are either dads who have been fathers for many years or for me, only for four years. And then some that haven't become dads yet but want to. And this is why it's so good. There's different ways we could go with this, but I knew talking to you would be interesting because, you know, for me, in the pictures of the retreat and obviously the way you've been brought up, it is that masculine energy, but also boys need the feminine energy as well. And I, you know, I. I try and find that with our boys, where, you know, I do shout at them and I do kind of, you know, I'll play fight with them a bit, but sometimes they still need mummy to be kind of, you know, tucked next to her boob and cuddled for a bit.

Totally. Yeah, totally. And, like, as I also experienced this father figure, I grew naturally more and connected more with my big brother's girlfriend's mother.

Right.

And she became a bit of that. That nurturing mother relationship that I was like, oh, this is also what a nurturing mother feels like. So you're totally right. It's that. It's that being held in the womb by the mom and then with the father being able to, like, support and go forward. I was speaking on another podcast the other day, and the woman Angela was owns, runs a podcast called Mission Manhood. And she put it really perfectly that I love to share was like, she said, the mother allows you to remember who you are and to hold you. The father pushes you and guides you to who you can be. And I was like, yeah, that's great.

I'll just write that down.

I was like. I told her, I was like, yeah, like this. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna integrate that into my work.

But that's so important. And I think. And trying to think how many podcasts ago it was. It's always interesting to talk to the guys and their Relationships either with the father they did or didn't have. And trying to find and actually wrote it down here for you as who then? I mean, you've kind of answered it nicely. But you know, who through life have you found to talk to? Because also then there's a dynamic of, let's say for me, I've got a sister or I know some guys that don't speak to their brothers because they've fallen out. So how was your relationship with your brothers growing up and being younger than them, I guess, were they nurturing you and bringing you into the world a bit more as well?

Mm, totally. So my first oldest brother was adopted out to a family friend, so he's still close to us. My second oldest brother was with my grandmother and then there was. Me and my younger brother were a year apart that experienced the same trauma. And so as I reflect on my own life and my own journey of a man, I'm like, oh wow. I'm so grateful that I went through what I went through with a brother. We went through exactly the same experiences. And then I had my two older brothers that were still close to us. And as I reflect, like, how did I become the man that I am still so open hearted and still very aware of everything that's happened and being able to continually to heal. And as, yeah, just my two older brothers just stepped into a beautiful guiding role. But still at the same time there was still like my stepfather and that breadwinner role and no one really quite stepped in. There was one moment where my oldest brother was like, I almost stepped in. And I remember because I remember those words very clearly because I remember that moment of that experience that was happening to me and I remember him being present. And then later on in our adult years it's like, yeah, I almost like, why didn't you.

Because I know you'd written talking about the retreat. This is our journey together from boy to man, mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally. And there's so many. This is what we were saying at the whole man academy. You know, there's so many parts that make up a man.

Yes.

You know, it's a bit like tables on a. Sorry, legs on a table. You know, you might have some really strong ones, but if one of them is weak, then maybe the table isn't so stable anymore or is going to fall down and there's, there's so many bits together. But how did you then become as opposed to just a guy that's growing up to, to want to learn more about the mental Spiritual, physical side of things, because some people just don't give a shit and they're just busy with it, with their work and watching sport, and that's cool. So what drove you onto kind of wanting to better yourself and then pay that forward to other guys?

My first memory of what led this path is in the moment of experiencing physical abuse for my stepfather. And those moments I just remember clear memory in my. In my. In my memory of an experience of like, at least this is. At least I can handle this. At least I'm grateful that I can handle this. I'm grateful that there isn't, because at the same time, I didn't get to a point where I was hospitalized. So I'm grateful for that. Maybe also at the same time, my physical body's reaction was really good at protecting and that also in those moments, I also had compassion for him and, okay, he's just in pain. Okay, I'm okay to be here. So that was my first recollection of, like, this kind of perspective. And then later that was nurtured by my big brother's girlfriend's mother. Her name is Jill. And she was like, into crystals. She was into yoga, she was into meditation. And I was like, we know. Yeah. She gave me my first crystal and I was like, what's that? She's like, yes, this does this, this and this. I'm like, okay, cool, whatever.

I've got to ask you then, seeing as only in the last. In the last year, my partner's taken more interest in that. So let's cover off crystals. What are they? What do they do? Because I know that I'll get some brownie points. If I go back to her and say that I've been. She'll think I've been researching it.

Perfect. That's great. So crystals are a big part of my work in the spectrum of energy healing and crystals, rocks, gems, if you will. Certain crystals have a different vibration based upon their chemical makeup. I can't speak too scientifically to it, but scientifically, how they've been created and formed and create a certain vibration, resonance. Certain crystals resonate to certain parts of the body. So if you think of vibration, crystal has a vibration that I'm just going to make up a random number, 793HZ. Some part of the body also has that same frequency. Right. Different people resonate different varyingly, but all around in the same area. And so how we use crystals, firstly and foremost is to support, to mitigate, to energize, to clear, and to cleanse to create. And to create containers, if you will, energetic containers. And so I like to say they're a tool. They're like a spiritual healer, shaman, energy healer tool. It's like, like a builder has a hammer.

Yep.

A crystal healer will just have discerning crystal that's able to knock this and pull something out. And so we can use crystals.

It's such a world that. And I said when we, before we start recording, you know, five years ago I just said I don't even get it and I don't want to get it. But now I think the more podcasts I listen to, the more guys from around the world that you interact with and make new connections with, the more I have to realize that I knew nothing. And now I'm opening my lid to all this. This kind of. Okay, well that's Crystal's ticked off our list. We were going to come that later, but seeing as you jumped on it. Now let's talk about the retreat. And the reason I say this is because I'd love to create something similar in the uk, obviously slightly different because of that, you know, where I would be in the countryside. But it's about getting guys out into nature, you know, spending time together. So tell us about your first idea behind it and then we'll go on to talk about the hacker as well.

Yeah, perfect. So I've been brewing this work for the last like six years. I studied my energy healing diploma, which is a hands on, hands off work, physical and non physical work. And during that time of my two years I was like, how do I want to offer this work? How do I want to serve people? First thing that came up, I want to work with men. Unbeknown to that time, I didn't know why I wanted to work with men. As I started to learn about more about trauma and emotional awareness. Oh, this is why, based upon what I just shared earlier and I just have a deep connection with men of all ages, boys right up. And so yeah, that was the first time. And then I also asked myself like, well, like what, what exactly do I want to share? And I was like, magic, which I believe crystals are magic, energy, the whole world of the metaphysical and spiritual or magical concepts and then also my indigenous customs. And so been bringing this work for five, six years. Being here in Nicaragua because of the pandemic, invited me to step into this work. And so like, cool. Like all these exercises, all these tools, all these visions that I've been creating, I was like, cool, let's put it to place, put it to practice. And, yeah, how that came to be was creating a men's retreat and specifically basing a lot of the body of work around the haka. Yeah, yeah. And why was the haka was like, you know, like, even. Even as myself experiencing it and doing the haka, but also receiving the haka, man, that's just like. So I know the power of it and how, like, just potent it is. And it's, like, cool. This is a really great practice. And I was like, can I even make a haka? Am I even allowed to? And so I asked my uncle and I asked my oldest brother, and they're like, yeah, that's totally fine. And so, yeah, I was actually. I sat in meditation for, like, three mornings each morning. And I was like. I was firstly trying to approach the haka with mind and, like, trying to write it out. And I was like, I just need to sit. Then I sat. And then on the third day, it came to me. I was like, boom, this is the haka. And so the haka is called the war cry of man. Tetangi pakanga tetangata.

See, I stopped you there because thankfully, I was going to attempt to pronounce it. But you did it first. Because I'd written, Cyrus has created an immersion that is absolutely unique, incorporating customs from his Maori culture. The hacker. The hacker is called. And then you said it. The war cry of man. I was like, he's done it for me. So can you say it again? So. Because I know that guys will be like, what did you. What?

What? Yeah, so the hacker is called this hacker, specifically that I've created for this work. And my work is called the war cry of man, which is translated to Te tangi pakanga at te tangata. Yeah.

I'd love you to have heard me sitting here before recording, going, Titangi pakanga ati tatanga.

Oh, that's not too bad. Good.

Leave it there. So how do you. Okay. Explain to any numpties that have been living under rock what the haka is to start with?

Yep, perfect. The haka translates to war cry or war dance. The indigenous mori of New Zealand would use haka firstly as an intimidation technique before they go to war, but now it's also used as an acknowledgement, celebration, farewell, and a welcoming. And so these four concepts, I've also embodied that layer into this hako of, like, how do we intimidate our shadow? How do we intimidate parts of ourselves that no longer serve us? Acknowledging both parts of our shadow which could be trauma, the parts that we don't like. And then also the lighter parts that we want to step into or want to embody more of. How do we celebrate ourselves? And how do we say farewell to the parts that no longer serve us? So bonding all these four concepts into this haka. And so if you're, if you don't know what a haka is, it's a war dance and basically it's just a very physical expression which involves a lot of slapping of hands on the chest, on the legs. There's an expression called the pukana, which is the extension of the tongue and the widening of the eyes and yelling words next to your brothers.

Now I'm guessing that most guys will be like, oh, I know the haka from the rugby, as opposed to anything else, which I guess is better than not knowing at all. I actually saw, I'm trying to think what social media platform was on, but there was some kind of demonstration against the COVID lockdowns and there was thousands of guys all doing the hacker outside, I don't know, some government building. But fuck me, that was really powerful. Now you know, I'd like to take that and put it into a retreat in, in, in the Cotswold somewhere. But do you get, I mean, we're going to go on to the retreat in a minute actually. But do you get the guys all to learn it or are they facing you on, you know, how does it work?

Okay, perfect. Yeah, so we learn it over the, we learn it over 5 day experience. So what we do is I have the words, I have the words in pronunciation, so just a little easier to understand. And I teach it in a physical way as well and a very interactive, playful way. Because if you've read my website, it says the playful warrior. And so how can we play with learning? And then within the haka there's certain like phrases that bring up a theme. For example, the theme of crying is one of them. And so as we learn the phrase, we also sit down and then I facilitate conversation and that theme and like attaching our own story to this expression because the haka is this very powerful emotional, deep emotional release technique first and foremost, right? And like I say that because also like I, I always ask myself, like, because I'm very comfortable with anger and rage. I'm very comfortable with it and it's interesting topic and moves through me and I'm like, why is that? And it's because I had throughout my whole life this expression that allowed me to release anger, which is hakka physical. And if you've seen it whether on screen and one day you will be able to see it in person. Even for myself, every time I experience it in person it's a very vulnerable experience. Yeah, so that's the idea is firstly like if you're an out, if you're not from the culture of New Zealand, then it's just this really cool warrior expression. And so when I bring in this facilitation of conversation of your own story, then we start to really dive in deep and then the men release because they had their own story. Like is there anything else there that you want to share? And let's share it through haka.

This is why I love talking to you. And I knew as soon as we connected that I was like, man, this is going to be good stuff for me. But I'm always interested in because with the whole man academy one of the big things you say about is guys allow pressure to build up on their shoulders. They're not talking to someone or they're not finding an outlet and what they don't want is that outlet to be, you know, violence in a non controlled environment or drink or drugs or porn or whatever it is. So yeah, for me one of those things is that's why I think exercise is so important as well is to be able to go and play football or boxing or whatever it is that is your release. So is that what that one of the big things that you would say for guys? Because a lot of guys I know at some points you feel rage, you feel anger, maybe angry because you're not where you want to be life angry because you're pissed off about something else. Angry because things are going wrong that might seem small to someone else. So where do you even start with that?

Start with anger and rage? Yeah, from, from what I, what I share with, with everyone and clients and everybody is firstly is bringing awareness to. With awareness comes choice and there's a difference between reaction and responding. If you are reaction reacting with anger and rage then we're not able to address it. Once we are able to bring awareness to whatever emotion is arising, anger and rage, I then have a choice, how can I release this? I've this really fun example of myself of I was with an ex partner of mine and we were just getting, we're just talking like we're in motion and like doing something and then I just got a little triggered. Just got a little triggered a little bit. But I had a bag of chips in my hand and like my, this thought that just ran through my head was like throw the chips against the wall. And I was like, wait. In that moment I was like, wait. I was like, okay, cool. Do I want to do that? And this happened in like one second. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to do this. And so because I chose to re. To respond to my trigger and throw the chips against, because I had a bag of chips in my hand, I throw the chips against my wall. And I was like, that's good. As opposed to like reactively. And so when we're able to bring awareness to whatever emotion is arising and respond. Cool. There's a lot of anger and rage. I need to go yell it out for a bit. I need to go do something physical. And so yeah, the first step is awareness. Then we can start to dive in to the root. Why is the anger, why is there rage? Angry, like you said, could be not in alignment with life's purpose. Not feeling like a man. Because the essence of the masculine is, is action, doing purpose. And once we don't, when we don't have that, there's a lot we feel lost and confused. So yeah, with awareness is the first step, do you have the courage to also bring awareness to that?

You start scratching the surface. I mean, you just said the word purpose and again, these are one of the, you know, there's, there's the words purpose and fulfillment, which I think is so important for guys. And I would say it's actually written on, in the office with a lot of the whole man academy stuff. Like the ultimate aim for the whole man academy is to help a guy have a high level of fulfillment.

Yes.

Because that I think is priceless and I think a lot of guys don't have that because they're not, you know, it's not to do with money. It's about what they may be achieving in life. But purpose is so important. Probably months ago now I was speaking to someone who's at the very top of banking in the UK and they said that a lot of the guys who were close to retirement, instead of just retiring on a Friday and leaving, they often brought them back into work like a three day week to mentor teams because otherwise they went from having a purpose to nothing. And it helped them transition and it helped the company kind of repurpose. The guys repurpose. And yeah, I guess you see that with guys that come to your, you know, or come to you personally or come to the retreat. Is purpose is such a big thing?

Yes, totally. That's, that's firstly that bank. Wow. Yeah, that is fantastic. Because it is like the essence of the masculine is to, is to penetrate, to do action. And there's a direct line of what they want with the essence of the masculine energy. So it's so important. And that's, that's the middle part we teach that we share in the retreat is life, vision, soul's purpose and discovering that. Yeah. And it's, it's just, it's just the quality of the masculine energy of like how can I, how can I provide, how can I protect, how can I support and, and have this hands on experience of supporting my, supporting myself, supporting my community. Yeah. Like, yeah, that's really, really fantastic. That banking that how they reintegrate them into a life outside of this day to day thing that they've experienced.

Oh, it's really important. But you've just said another word there or a couple of words which is like presidency and protect and provide and you know, whether you've got a family or not. I don't think in my twenties I ever thought about any of that of, you know, and if I did, I probably was too busy going to the gym and doing stuff. But maybe I would say guys go through phases of their life, you know, and maybe in your 20s or when you become a dad, suddenly you realize that you've got these little monkeys running around who depend on you.

Yeah.

And maybe a partner as well. So what about yourself personally? Because I know, you know, we always say the first person to work on is yourself before you try and help other people. So what kind of things do you do on. Obviously you said meditation but you know, I've seen. Because you're in great shape. So how do you take care of yourself physically and mentally?

Aha. Perfect. Yeah, I have a really deep morning practice. I've also like, I've just built a really good foundation with my body that it's very quite self sustaining. I eat really clean. I eat predominantly a plant based diet. Being a Nicaragua, I've shifted to meat and chicken because of just what's accessible here. But a lot of my motivation of anything physical, mental, emotional or spiritual is being able to bring more awareness to my presence and to my center. And so a couple of practical things I do, I do have a yoga practice. I think yoga is really, really important for men specifically to create durability and flexibility within the muscle and the bones. And then I also incorporate calisthenics into it. I'm just working with my own body. Meditation is so key. Different types of meditation. The number one meditation I would recommend as a, as a beginner or even throughout a few advanced is just a really strong practice of the witness, the observer. And if we bring it all the way back to either reacting or responding to emotions, the tool to do that is sitting as the witness and the observer to witness thoughts and emotion that come through and. And have a choice. Cool. Where am I? Why is this happening? How can I best respond to this? And that practice of the witness and the observer is one of the most important ones. I have a really deep journaling practice as well. Deep journaling practice. And also like different tools for me depend on what type of emotional stimulation I'm at, energetic stimulation I'm at. Sometimes I just need nature and no talking and no involvement with anything thought or emotion. And I just need the nature medicine. But I guess for men, first thing and foremost is a physical practice. Yoga or calisthenics. And then also if you're also if you're doing like workout and calisthenics, being mindful of the music that you're consuming. I like to, when I was right now really shifted more to a yoga practice as opposed to a workout practice. And when I would work out years ago, I'll put on podcasts and so I could like also have that vibration of learning more as opposed to music. So something physical, something emotional, which is meditation. Meditation is like key meditation. And the first approach can be difficult of just sitting with self. But that's where we need to. That's what we need to do. We need to sit with self and all the voices in our head. Because we all have voices.

Yeah.

Just depends on which voice is louder. Is it you or is it that part of you that's responding from trauma as a part of you? That's the ego.

So, yeah, that's why I love talk about this. The last podcast I did is one of the guys that's been on twice. But his previous podcast, probably in January of 2020 or something like that, I remember him saying the importance of being okay in solitude, just sitting on your own, in silence. And I laughed inside because I got to tell you this. When you said about like sitting in nature and what have you, I found myself one day I was sitting out in the garden going, right, I'm meditating. I'm going to meditate here. So I realized that I'd put on some nature music on my phone, even though I'm sitting out under the trees. I was like, fucking hell, leave the technology alone, you know? So if you were trying to give a guy some, like you said about like just starting off with meditation, if a guy listening is like, yeah, do you know what? I've been thinking about it. But what. Where would he start with, do you think just like five minutes of just sitting in silence and see what comes up?

Yeah. There's a couple approaches to. This is one way, if you want to. If it's. It is really difficult to sit, is to have a guided meditation, whether that's through technology or AN app or YouTube. Second one is. Is just the practice of sitting and not and just bringing awareness to breath. And it's just a really simple technique of counting. Inhale, 1, 2, 3, 4, exhale, 1, 2, 3,. And also like to share if you can bring awareness to your breath as you inhale short, or is it long? As you exhale short, was it long? What I've learned is that the inhale is the feminine because we're receiving. The exhale is the. Is the masculine because we're expressing. And so generally, if we have a short inhale is because we're not open to receiving. If our exhale is too strong, which is a lot for masculine, it's because we're trying to push out our action, trying to do that. So you can imagine like a. And that's a very real example of what quality you're more leaning into your receptivity or your action. And so really simple exercise for five minutes, just breathing in. That's it. Just inhale for four, out for four. And then. Yeah, like what you said is, I'm sitting, seeing what comes up and write it down. And the last one is the observer. And the witness is being able to sit in meditation and imagine you're watching a movie or film and you're just watching all your thoughts or the voices or the emotions just roll through, not attaching to it, not judging it, and just witnessing, not serving a tea, just really being able to sit and observe without judgment and just gratitude. Firstly and foremost.

Sounds like, yeah, takes practice, you know, and. And the continual. I know there was a podcast I listened to a long time ago where the guy was trying to explain. Most people's mistake with, like, meditating is trying to not have any thoughts. And as soon as you think I've not had any thoughts, you've just had that thought. So what he was explaining was about and what I tried to implement was seeing as if, like, the thoughts you have are like clouds going across the sky and you can choose to focus on them, or you can just let them go and know there's going to be another one coming along and I found that for me quite. It was just an easy something to remember. But what are the common mistakes guys make with meditation? Is it trying to.

Yeah, yeah, it's. It's because also with the. With the masculine. And the man is, oh, I've got to do this thing and I want to do it. Good. So it's. It's sitting and then doing the checklist. The check, the checklist. Oh, I'm breathing. Yep. I am not thinking, but I'm also thinking, okay, cool. Remember, I'm coming back. Yeah. And it's like, oh, I've done the five minutes. Great. Check. Check that. This is also not just for men. This is also. Women do this because we women that are in a more of a masculine quality, do the meditation, do the checklist. Great. So the common mistake is approaching with. Approaching it with too much rigidity, too much structure, too much. This is the way it has to go. And within. Within meditation is a couple of ways we can approach. It is first, like, how can we just receive the present moment? And breath is always a reminder to bring us into our present. Because if we think about the body, the body operates autonomously, but we can also bring awareness to the autonomous action of breath. And therefore it invites us into the present moment. And yes, like you said, like, the mistake is, is. Is doing like doing the meditation. And I need to have no thoughts. Man. How it is so difficult to achieve silence and stillness. It is very difficult. There's like, as a long practicing meditator, I have moments where I can hit it for like 2 seconds, 5 seconds maybe. But it's always. Yeah, there's always that constant navigation. And so the goal for meditation is just bringing awareness to what's happening. So you have familiarity of. All my thoughts went there, my emotion goes there. This is the emotion I keep. I can't attach to.

It's this. This is what I love about talking to guys because there's so many different ways. And it is about just encouraging men to just start. And, you know, some people find it hard. Some people find it is has got some healing properties or. I found that some of my best ideas were when I was meditating where I was trying not to think of anything. But then you just go off and be like, why that's a good idea. And like, then you'd. Then you'd write it down. Well, I know we ticked crystals off the list, but also I wanted to talk about being a shaman and what, what that means to you. I started learning many years ago about things like Ayahuasca and ceremonies. Never, never done it. Never got anywhere close to doing it. But always interested to. I never say never. So what's your, what's your thoughts on that and how did you kind of get into it?

So I had a bit of shamanic energy healing training within my studies. The concept of the shaman is a very broad spectrum. You can have shamans that work with plant medicine, but you can also have shamanic energy healers, shamanic sound practitioners. And basically what I've learned, the meaning of the shaman is a being that walks between dimensions. I don't know if we want to. That's a bit metaphysical, that word. So basically someone that's able to operate, able to see things that we, that normal people can't see or has trained to. These are all things we can get trained to work. Everybody, firstly and foremost everybody is a shaman. And it's just for me, yeah, it was identity that I'm leaning into. An identity that was given to me specifically and the title of my Instagram titled the Panda Shaman. And basically that means like the panda is black and white. And I'm very comfortable with working with the shadow parts of south and also the light parts of self. And yeah, for me, what that means for me and the shaman is basically like a wizard because one of my big, big intentions is bringing a bit more magic to the men's world because I do like crystals, I do work with crystals, I do work with things that maybe with things that we don't see. I do love nature and working that, that softness of nature and bringing in that magic of miracles, blessings. And so yeah, the shaman for me is just an awareness of the different layers of our reality and being able to work in collaboration with it all to help support the transformation of self, which in the lighter parts, the darker parts, the ego, the warrior, and just different parts of ways that we can learn to identify ourselves and then using those to help support men and women.

I love it. The more I learn about it, the more I want to learn, if that makes sense. You've just said a word which we had a couple of times on my notes, which was like warrior. And when I looked at the retreat, it spoke to me of kind of a warrior spirit. And that's what maybe I think a lot of guys are missing. I mean, you know, let's face it, the average guy probably sleeps for seven or eight hours, goes to work, sits in front of a computer in front of artificial light, eats fake food, goes maybe goes to the gym and does something rigid and then goes Home and watches a box and gets brainwashed by the shit that's on tv. And I'd love to try and help guys that want to break out of that the square world, as it were, via all different types. How would you help a guy kind of, I know, maybe get back in touch with his warrior spirit?

That's a great question. I also like how you said get out of the box because it is a very boxed world. Yeah, really. It really, really comes down to if that man is open first and foremost to stepping out and then generally, like, it's also interrelated to the warrior. The warrior is also interrelated to life. Life purpose. Warrior, once again, like these words that are surrounded by the warriors. Protector provider. Just like strong being of presence. And one of the most practical exercises that I do is get men comfortable with yelling, slapping the chest, slapping their legs, and also getting them facilitating an exercise where I allow them to connect with the animal body and their primal body, which basically involves like, we get down on all fours and we roar. And it just invigorates men. It just invigorates, like, oh, wow. Like. Cause like, you know, in that box world. Right. Don't speak too loud, don't yell, don't be angry, don't be like, be kind, be sensitive, obey. Exactly. The warrior is pushing that and allowing you to step into fighting for justice, fighting for yourself, fighting for your family, fighting for your dreams. And so therefore, the invitation first and foremost is like, cool, let's inspire and invite that fight. And then once we connect to the warrior, let's have give it a direction, which is discovering life's purpose and soul's purpose and then allowing them to embody. So, yeah, so that's kind of a couple of things.

I love it. And I think even when you said about like, yelling and doing stuff like that, people can't understand the power that I order, the feeling that it creates inside you. Only because it took me back to. Even if you said it, I had this flash of five, six years ago, I was in Miami at Tony Robbins, one of the conferences. The Date with Destiny.

Yeah. Fantastic.

There was, I don't know, let's say 5,000 people in the room, for argument's sake. And he'd worked around the room and done some really amazing stuff. But it was getting towards the end of it where they were. They were tapping into the masculine and feminine energy, and they wanted all the men in the room to stand up and basically kind of roar or shout. Freedom. And I think they played some gladiator or some, you know, Braveheart or something like that. Yeah, but he was. And this is very technical stuff, so stick with me here. But I remember that all the guys in the room and some of them look like they needed a good steak and to hit some weights for a bit and. But all stood up and were like freedom. And it kind of reverberated around the room and then did it a couple of times and you could feel like you were tingling and you know, their hairs. I've just been to the barber, so I haven't got any hairs on my back, but if I did have, they were standing up. And here's what's really funny was we all sat down and I think it went pretty quiet. And he said, like, has anybody got something to say? And here's the massive feeling. And this woman stood up and said, that was amazing. I just want to get fucked. And it kind of broke us out of our state. But it was so funny how a lot of the women after were like, I was really turned on by that. I've never experienced pure, you know, loving, masculine energy in the room and especially in numbers. And that's why I saw with a haka as well, when you've got a big group of guys. So I guess it's quite, I know, healing and it must be create some transformation in the guys that come along. So where have you seen that with guys that. I saw the picture, the one last year. And your next one is what, in a couple of months time?

Yeah, it's at the end of March, 20th of March to the 1st of April.

And I guess from that first one you must have seen something where guys had never done anything like that before.

Yeah, for sure. Well, firstly, that's. Firstly, I've also experienced Tony Robbins and he's fantastic.

Right. Which ones have you been to?

He. He's done a couple of like, this is like leadership. Leadership conferences and he's been part of the guest speakers in Sydney, Australia. So I've experienced him firsthand. Like, yeah, he's. He's fantastic. I really love him. But wow, that's powerful. Whole bunch of men just roaring. And I just wanted to speak to that like, yeah, polar. Polar opposite of like. It's like, I always explain, like magnets, attraction. The feminine is attracted to the masculine. And when the feminine experiences the masculine and the fullness, they do feel that. That tingle of like, wow. And it creates safety. That's what it creates. Therefore, once the safety is created with the feminine, then naturally sexual desires arise. Like, wow, I feel safe with these men, I, therefore, I want to mate because when you want to mate with someone that physically can protect you, then that's like basically their natural attraction of like, natural instinct. But yeah, I and all the men that I experienced in this retreat because, like, the first exercise we just did, like I just facilitated, which is the same exercise we'll do for this program, is I just got them to face. Face off at each other. And then I taught them a shared about the pukkana, which is the extension of the tongue. Yeah. And they do. And I just got them to do that at each other. And they were just so invigorated. And it started to really light, basically light the fire. And it started to light the fire and started to develop the fire. And as we experienced this yelling, roaring next to other men, created that safety already. And then we start to let our walls down, therefore, to be able to heal deeper parts of our emotional story. And then when we fully like to the full experience of the Hakra, it's like, oh. And so there was this sense of accomplishment that we all went through this together. Yeah, yeah. But it was. And you know, so much transformation. Like, one of the things after that was the men felt more in their masculine to make bolder demands, whether that be in work or in personal intimate life. And to know, oh, this serves me this doesn't. But also because in the retreat we also teach communication and how to communicate safely. And so, yeah, how it lingers into the, into their life is like, yep, I know what is and I know what isn't. And being able to go forward with that and have the courage, that warrior to take action and fight for what.

You believe is true for you, that is so important. And it's. This is one of the things that unfortunately these ridiculous travel restrictions have, have really quashed the ability for people to get together, even in, you know, even locally or, you know, traveling to these big events. Because, for example, even as you're saying to me, I've seen the problem these days is a lot of people doing the stuff online, which is great. But you know, and I know the presence of energy when you're by each other's side is, is. Is electrifying doing on Zoom. I Even Tony Robbins is doing stuff on Zoom. Yeah, it's all very good. But you know, me sitting here in my, you know, room in my house isn't going to get you pumped. And that's what for me, I love those pictures of guys getting together like the whole man academy to talk to do something Different. And I wanted to ask you. I'm going to pronounce it wrong, but we spoke about the hacker. But the other thing was that is it the hongi, which translates into the sharing of breath. And I saw the guys kind of noses together, which is. If I got this wrong, I apologize. But it's basically a kind of a traditional greeting, isn't it?

Yes.

Right.

So yeah, this, the hongi is my culture traditional greeting. Like it's a formal greeting. But also I do it with how when I was growing up, I always greet elders like that, the men. And that's how we greet each other. So as I was like, okay, what part of my customers for my culture I really would serve and was the hakar and then this greeting. Because the story of that was when woman was first created, man made her out of clay. And then he pressed his nose and his third eye onto, onto her nose and third eye and breathed life into her. And so there's this layer of as we connect with the men, we're breathing and sharing breath together, but also awakening each other's feminine quality in essence. Cause there's a vulnerability that's like, yeah, it's. Oh man, it's so powerful. Like we, because we open, we open. I open all of my, whether it's day long retreats, any type of workshop experience with men with that practice, I share the story and instantly it just goes, boom. Connected. We're just dropped in. We do three breaths together with the nose press and the third eye.

Right.

Just share this breath together and I just. Oh man. It just invites this presence of. Firstly, it's super vulnerable for men that don't have. Not used to that type of contact.

Yeah. Getting up in close into each other's faces is any other time you were like, get the fuck off me.

Yeah, totally. So there's that level of vulnerability. And then the first breath is always like, okay. Second breath, like third breath is like, boom, we're here. And then when we all do that together. Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's a simple but powerful practice.

I think it's great. I realized when we first logged on, I should have, I should have.

Yeah, we could do it now.

Let's get involved. Hold on.

That's it.

Hopefully I should have trimmed my nose hairs, but it's, it's.

Yeah, let's do it again and let's do three brush together. So let's take our first inhale. Oh yeah. I feel pretty, pretty connected.

I, I tell you what, I, I just Think if I could wave a magic wand and we'd bring you over to the UK for a weekend and bring some of the guys at Homeland Academy. I'm going to put that on my vision board. Fuck knows how you'd make it happen, but. Well, actually, you've covered loads of the stuff. But also, funny enough, I didn't even write down third eye only because I thought we'll have covered so much. But before I let you go, would you be able to tell us a little bit about. If a guy's like, we talk about third eye, what's going on here? Could you tell us a little bit about what that means to you?

Okay, cool. Yeah. For me, it's the difference between seeing with these two eyes and seeing past everything that is here that we see. And to relate it back to your audience. And our work is being able to see our patterns, our unconscious behaviors, things that no longer serve us, trauma. And then past that to see what can I be? What is the dream version of myself? What is the dream version of my reality? And so it's tapping into this metaphysical, physical third eye to see more is how much more can I see? And it's also related to the sixth sense, basically. The third eyes could also be a resemblance of your intuition and, or your gut instinct. And so they all work hand in hand. So it's the, it's the invitation to are you open to seeing more than what you are, what you've been conditioned and brought up to be? And are you open to seeing what you definitely can be?

What a big. I love, love that question, you know, are you open, basically, are you open to more? Because, you know, I would hope that, you know, guys listening to, let's call it a personal development podcast. Men's health podcast is probably means they're open to something. Maybe they're looking for something else in life. And actually on the third eye thing, that's why when our little one was going to nursery and they kept getting the stupid, we told them to shove it. But you know, the thing and putting the potential. And we were like, do not do that to our kid, for sake. So it's, it's so interesting because I've listened. I probably need to go deeper into what is the third eye and spend more time with someone like yourself to fully get it. But that's why I hope that a guy listening to this might be like, oh, I've never heard of that before, but now I have, and maybe I'll show some more, some more interest in it. But now Look, I'm going to wrap up ink for you because I know you've, you've got stuff to do and we've covered a lot also for guys to take in. But firstly, if a guy was able to get out there, where could he find out more about the retreat that you're doing?

Yeah. At our website, www.tamatane.com. you can request a discovery call and we can jump on a chat. Super important for me to connect with you. And that's it. And then it has all information from there and I can pass on any extra information. So yeah, also with the retreat, Nicaragua is an open country. There is a bit more freedom here and so there's an added incentive like come here, you probably like it, I want to move it. Germany always happens.

And actually, do you know what, that's one of the really important points of funny. We're talking about freedom. I'm surprised how easily some people have given up their freedom. Just said, I'll do whatever I get told. Doesn't matter what your thoughts are on what's going on in the world. I'm still surprised that some people have just said whatever you say, I'll do. And those countries that have less restrictions are very popular because you can go there and live a proper life without being told that you have to crawl along the streets or something like that with a mask on to go and get your local sourdough bread or something. So yeah, I'll put it in the show notes anyway, interesting for guys, anybody that's if I will say this one day we will meet up. I don't know how or where or when, but it will happen. And I've been feeling also I'll probably be taking a few bits off your, off your website and putting in our e letter so guys can kind of understand a bit more about it. And what's your plans for rest of today?

The rest of the day today? Just working on reaching out to more podcasts. So if you know any other podcast that would be open to having a chat with me, great, I'd love to get in contact with them. So, yeah, just working on getting the retreat out there. A couple other things. I'm also big into cryptocurrency and nft, so I'm also building an NFT we.

Haven'T even touched on. Crypto.

Yeah, I'm building. Yeah, give me your thoughts on.

Because it's so funny how we've got. Let's say I would put you in the pot of a guy that's nature based okay. You know, nature based, natural database. And then, you know, the least natural thing is crypto because it's completely digital. So things we have to. Now I had on, on the podcast, I think about 10 episodes or 15 episodes ago, a guy called Max Wright who's got a really big YouTube channel and he's one of the top crypto experts and we spoke all about, you know, why should people be interested in bitcoin and crypto in General, the altcoins, etc. NFTs. Actually we didn't touch on NFTs but so tell us a little bit about your thoughts on crypto before we go.

I think the main intention of the first intention of crypto from what I've learned is a revolution and a decentralized technology. I think it's great for the purpose of where innovation is going. And for me mine's like, why don't I just play the game at the same time but also know what I'm doing and linking that right to like this is where do we have our third eye open or closed? And basically I'm like, I'm going to play the game at the same time but also be aware of it. So I think crypto is a great thing to explore. I share a lot with my friends and get into crypto and a lot of the projects that are out there in terms of innovation of technology. One thing I'd love to share is touch on NFTs is I'm creating an NFT art collection collection for the purpose of men and educating men.

Right, nice.

So I'm not going to share anything further than that currently in the works. But yeah, there's an NFT collection with the, that I'm sharing that's going to be about educating men and sharing about men's health and men's awareness and there's a couple of things that are there and this whole vision of it. So I'm super excited about it.

Yeah, it's exciting and I think it's so funny when, because crypto is so new compared to most other things. And I always say if you went out on the street in, I mean, let's just pick any town in the uk, you know, and ask the hundred people. Probably half of them will have heard of bitcoin, but I reckon only a handful will actually know what it is or will own some or any other coins. And usually people start with bitcoin and then that's the gateway drug to Ethereum and then you know, Cardano and that's it goes down from There. So it is such a new world and often people are like oh, is it a scam or is it this or is it that? And I'm like just get involved and find out, you know, and once you understand that, as Max Wright said, you know, and I won't say it's beautiful as him, but it is something that could transform the world and take away, you know, the banks are ripped people off and have been for since the dawn of banks basically therefore this takes. That's why they want to ban cryptocurrencies generally because the power is back into the people, isn't it?

Totally. Yeah.

And the fees are between me and you and very small amounts of people as opposed to Mr. Mr. Bankman taking it all. So yeah, perhaps at some point we wanted to do a. What's the word I'm looking for where like a summit where a few guys, you know, get on a call together. But one of the things I mean would be health and mindset, what have you. But also kind of finance and crypto. So it'd be interesting to be the, you know, the interest in that because I think it is such a growing space.

Yeah, it's fantastic. To be honest. A lot of the community here are all crypto investors. I know a lot of people that are OG crypto investors and really settled and now diversifying portfolio to resources, physical resources because they got a great crypto portfolio. But everything you said in terms of crypto, I think it's great. I think it's a great opportunity and yeah moving to what they're Labeling as Web 3.0 as a decentralized Internet with cryptocurrency blockchain NFTs which are firstly intended to be decentralized and eventually the government's going to try centralized some things but they come down to who's educated on about which is what. Yeah, choosing your path.

That's why I found it very interesting with privacy coins like Monero pirate chain which I remember we first heard about pirate chain and it was at 5 cents and I might have bought some at 20 cents and then it went yeah and you know, and. And I didn't. I started looking into understanding but then to explain to other people that you know, you and I could transfer a billion pounds worth of wealth between us now like that for pretty much free and no one knows about it. We were like wow, that's interesting. You're like yes it is.

Totally. That's a great way to get people interested.

Exactly. People should look into it. But so right look well that would be another rabbit hole to go down. So I'm going to say, firstly, I'm. I appreciate your time, brother. It's really great to connect.

Yes. I appreciate you as well. Thank you so much.

Secondly, it's always. It's great to speak to guys that are doing this kind of work because I think the more guys who I speak to who are making their own waves in life and helping men do life better, it's great to kind of build that community. And I'm sure one day we will be together face to face and probably nose to nose.

Definitely. It's already. It's already there. I can see it happening already.

Yes.

So it's already happening. Yeah. Thank you so much for having me on the podcast. I really appreciate it. Really appreciate the questions and the navigation and thank you so much.

My pleasure. All right. I will speak to you soon, brother.

Perfect. Sounds good.

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