EP092 - SPIRITUAL FIGHT CLUB - DYNAS PURINS | WHOLE MAN ACADEMY

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Are you ready? Okay. So this is the whole Man Academy podcast, episode 92. My guest today is Dynast Purins. I've actually managed to get his name right, which is a feather in my cap to start with. He is, amongst other things, CEO, leader and head teacher of the spiritual fight club, which is the reason why he's on there. What we're going to get on to talking about all about men, masculinity, energy, healing, all the different stuff. Mate, how are you and where are you?

Great question, man. I'm feeling awesome. I'm really happy to be here. I love your energy, man. I'm really excited for the next however minutes we're here together and I'm coming from Sydney, Australia.

So the time there for guys, I mean we have guys from all around the world. Listen to this. But the time there is 7:30 at night, whereas for me it is, it is still frozen outside in the morning. What is it like for you? Because you said that your, your name is. You said it was Latvian.

Yeah.

So tell me a bit. I mean we're going to get into the spiritual fight club, but a bit about your own background. How did you get to this stage where you're an enlightened. I'd say young man because I'm guessing you're younger than me. But how did you get to this stage?

Awesome, man. I don't know if I'd be younger than you. How old do you think I am?

Well, I'm 43.

Okay, well, you don't look that old. I'm 34.

Right. Okay.

And for me to get to this point, well, to start with my father, so my father's from Latvia and my mother is from the Philippines, but I was born and raised here. In Australia, and they both grew up in their respective home countries. And that's where my name came from. And then I've gone on this big journey, man, as I'm sure you and your guests and your audiences of like, what the. Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing? What's all this life about? You know, I've learned from my parents. And then what I think we're really privileged to is that we got the Internet in our lifetime. Like my mum and dad, they didn't really have the Internet. I remember dial up. And so I went on this journey of like, just looking because my parents were saying, oh, when you move out, you won't know how to do anything and all that. I'm like, oh, no, I think I'll be right with Google and YouTube. And I was, I'll survive. I went on that journey, man. And I also went looking for those other answers, like life answers. And then I went and I spent $120,000 on self help to date, you know, personally. And then I've met heaps of people and, you know, I'm just looking, like, what am I supposed to do? What does it mean to be a man? What do I do now that my business has collapsed? Who am I? Like, who are we supposed to be listening to? And the Internet's awesome because now we don't have to just listen to the media or the kings or queens or the royalty or whoever's in charge. It's like, no, man, we the people can actually talk to each other. We have a channel between ourselves now, not just up. Because I'm sure for my parents growing up and then generations before them, they always had to just be in communication with authority and just the people in their local community. Like, you can't just get on Facebook back then and communicate or there was no forums and all this stuff, man, there was letters. But it wasn't like that when now you and me and the, let's say in inverted commas, the common people, we can all team up now. We can all share our wisdom. We don't have to rely on them. And so I went through the whole Internet, followed everything, clicked every ad, bought everything, right? Like I was saying, I spent that huge amount of money. And then through all of that, man, all the experiences, I finally got to this point where I love myself unconditionally and I drew a line in the sand that I know that love is the fucking final answer. I've checked so many doors, like checked and checked and checked is really love. No, it can't be this. And then checked again and I was like, no, it's this. Or is it. Is it my goals? Is it my habits? Is it my morning routine? Is it all the meditation I did? Is it fucking the breath work? Is it me changing my state? Right? It's like I've done a thousand days of meditation in a row. My other mates here with me, they've done five parashanas, which is 50 days of silent meditation. You know, then we're all still at this point of like, why can't I unconditionally love myself and accept everything around me and just be at peace, Be this man of peace? And I fucking got there. And so I'm really happy. It took a lot of effort, a lot of work, a lot of conversations, a lot of crying, a lot of feeling. Yeah, all of it, which is just.

Life, you know, it is one of those things. That's why it's funny, when I do podcasts with guys, usually I just pick three or four bullet points and we roar off from there. Because there's no point in making it like a right question question because you never know what, what a guy's going to come up with. But I wanted to ask you about, so going back to. And I find it so interesting, the world of personal development. And I've, you know, I've gone to the Tony Robbins events, gone to Miami, gone to and, and, you know, various courses and stuff. And I love it all. But you're right, I see those as tools to help you live life better. As opposed to the answer, you know, you're not, you know, you don't go to some event and be like, right, that's it. My life's made now. It's like, you know what, these things will help you think more, maybe also the connections you make with other people. But ultimately it's still, you know, it's like when people say, I'm going to go and find myself. Dude, you're fucking there. Look in the mirror. You know, that's just procrastination in my view. So talk to me about the personal development journey you went on because you said, you know, you spent a lot of money on it as well. Well, and it's good to hear you say that isn't always the answer. It can help you, you know, think more about life. But where did you start with all that?

Oh, man. Well, Tim Ferriss, the four Hour Work week. Yeah, kind of there. Robert Kiyosaki, you know, and then I've done my. I've done a heap of Tony Robbins. He's got a fair chunk of my wallet. And you know, I can name some other people, like the Wolf of Wall street that you mentioned earlier, Jordan Belfort, about sales back when, you know, the early stages of my entrepreneurial career. And so there's just a whole bunch of people that I've spent time with and invested with. But at the end of the day, it's like what you're saying, man, and this is what we feel like we do really differently here at Spiritual Flight Club is it's not just a tool or this move or that. It's. It's a way of life, it's a culture. It's like, can you do it in every situation? And I found when I went to those things, man, like, especially when I was, you know, being with the parts of me that have performance anxiety in the bedroom, it's like, cool. And I have these parts of me that are nervous or trying to perform or try to impress the girl so that I can tell, you know, as a teenager, like, tell my friends and get status and all of that, right. But I couldn't, I couldn't beat my chest in those moments that wasn't to calm me down. And then I couldn't meditate either because then that voice in my head was still going, oh man, you're worthless or you suck that you can't do this and all that. I'm like, I can't just do start doing my holotropic breathing either. So there's these other things that I feel like are underneath all of those tools really comes down to this idea of unconditional love and healing and liberating yourself from suffering once and for all? Because that's what I believe we're here for. And then you can live your life from that place where you are enough and you know it. And you've built these platforms and pillars within you where that's not a question anymore and life gets really different.

Would you feel. Did you feel like you had an enlightening moment or was it a. I've had one or two of those in my life where something that was like a light bulb in you and it's like, oh, like that was. That's really, that's really simple. But how have I managed to miss that for my, my 40 odd years? But for you was, you know, I'm like, what have I been doing? Like sitting with my thumb up my ass. But so, so for you, was it one of those where you're like, you have A gradual enlightening, or was it one of those where you like being, oh, I've just got something. Something just come in.

Yeah, man, awesome. For me, questions like that, the answer is always both, because I've had those moments, man, and people will talk about that and other spiritual, masculine leaders out there will say that. But then what's important is how can you replicate that? How can you live from that place? Because we've all had that moment where we were meditating, we've felt enlightenment or fully at peace, or at the end of your holotropic breathing, or the end of X, Y and Z. But then how do you live from that place? And that's what is missing because it's like, yeah, cool. I had that experience, like, for example, after I made a million dollar revenue company, had a team of 22, had that quarter of a million dollar car, had all these things in my life. Then my. Then my Facebook ad, stop fucking working. And over 18 months, I had to fire all those 22 people, man. I had to sell that car and all my pride and joy. And then I was. I felt like I was worthless and useless and all of that. And then I ran into this work, what we call the magic or the work or the technology. And then, you know, I got guided by the dude at the time, Matthew Fitzpatrick, and he just helped me feel my intuition or my gut feeling consciously. And I'd live my whole life because I'm an electrical engineer by trade, you know, from university, so that I love that stuff. And my mind's very much an engineer. And this was only maybe a couple of years ago when I truly consciously met my intuition and my gut. And before that, man, I just was living in my head and I thought my mind was me, and I thought that was it. And I didn't really have a connection with my inner feminine or my emotions or my body. And so then when I was able to consciously talk to my intuition and have him respond to questions, so I said, man, my life fucking sucks. Everything's fucked around me. I'm in so much debt. What do I do? And then he spoke to me, my gut inside, and said, hey, bro, here's what's going on. You just need to be patient. You've got this, like, you're amazing. And then I was like, see how I. But that was my mind. Because he wasn't used to this. He's my mind. I'll never forget this. He said in his. In my head to himself. He's like, oh, fuck. That's what everyone's been saying around me that I'm awesome, I'll get through this and all this stuff. It's like, yeah. But I didn't believe them because this voice believed that he sucks and he's a piece of shit and he judges himself so harshly. But then what happened was when that voice inside his intuition spoke the same words, well, he knew that's coming from us. And it felt different. It came with this warm bath of love, different energy. Yeah, my mind speaks to me and he's a very critical boyfriend. Well, back then he was. Not anymore. And so in that moment, because that happened over about a two or three minute period, another part of me felt, oh my goddess, I'm not alone anymore. There's this, there's these other parts of me that are going to help and see in that moment, man, it was an enlightening experience because I could feel that this is. My life will be different now because I'm not alone on the inside. But then, dude, and this is exactly what we guide all men who come through our programs with. They all go through that moment too. Maybe it's not as beautiful as mine because I was coming from a devastating background, but maybe it was for them too. The difference is, though, I continued to practice and embody that and live it, man, because it's something to just keep practicing. It's not this thing to just rely on and hope. I can speak to my intuition right now. I live from my intuition now. So I went through that whole journey of training myself, embodying, loving myself, healing, to live bottom up instead of top down. So instead of my mind, then my emotions and body, then my spirit or intuition or gut feeling. No, no. Now I start and I live most of my life in my gut feeling, my soul, my spirit, my intuition, and then my emotions in my body and then my mind. And I don't delete my mind. I love my mind. And I'm in a very great relationship with my mind. And we all work together now in alignment. And that's what's really changed because then that's brought me to another spot where I liberated myself from suffering, doing so much work with all these parts of me that hate me or judge me or critical and all of that. And then it got to a point where they realize I'm going to love them no matter what they do, say or be. And that's been over the last two and a half years where daily I would have those conversations with myself. So I've really earned it to get to this moment. Too. But see, then it's like, cool. There's this idea of it's a magic moment, and there's so much work to create another magic moment.

But it was that easy. Yeah. Well, this is one of the really interesting things, I guess, you know, one of the messages from that would be, I would take is like, you know, do your best to follow your gut. And one of the big struggles, I would either say, for maybe for most men is that often you try to fully gut, but your head takes over, you know, and starts rationalizing things and, you know, be it in your career or relationships. For me, relationships is one of those where sometimes you. You didn't follow your gut, even though it was speaking, you know, deep inside, it was speaking to you, saying, this relationship is wrong. Be it with a, you know, some girl that I was dating, or maybe it was a relationship with work. But generally in. In the. In the dating space where you'd be playing at a relationship because it was much easier to just go along with stuff instead of inside. You were like, this isn't right. But you didn't follow your gut. But so how do you. We're going to come on to the spiritual fight club in a minute. But if you were talking to Guy and he was like, okay, well, how do I follow my gut more? Because it sounds easy to just say, I'll just follow your gut. But then as you say, the connection between gut and head, there's a long way in between. Where can things up for you? So where'd you start with that?

I love you so. You're awesome. Yeah, man. Well, where I'd start with that is, you know, coming from our minds, our thoughts, you know, that realm, logic, absolutism, black and white, you know, everything's kind of got edges. There's a lot of certainty there. When we go down and bring that little ball of attention down from our mind into our gut, well, our intuition, certainty isn't the thing that is happening there. It's more in flow and truth. And that's what can be really scary because it requires a lot of trust. So men can actually do it. They mostly just have a part of them that's scared to follow their gut because it doesn't have that certainty that they're used to. But then when you really slow down and do the work, the certainty is mostly an illusion because what can we control and influence and all of that?

And I guess it's a feeling, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. Intuition is a feeling.

Yeah.

But where men need to start is just like relationship with certainty. Because going into the gut, it just requires so much trust. And that's where a lot of men choose not to let go. And that's okay. And then so it's like looking at that, like surrendering. And what if you didn't know everything because you know, anxiety or the part of us that gets anxious, you know, is our mind simulating all the worst case scenarios in the future? That's not your intuition. Your intuition might say, hey man, don't go that way. The end. See, it doesn't give that long explanation. Break up with your girlfriend and you either listen to it or you don't. Yeah, but then what happens is if we start going with why, it can easily go back up into our heads. Because then we start to write out this logical list where it's like, no man, it's a lot quicker to just go off your gut feeling and trust yourself that's afraid of the consequences.

And you just said it there, it's the consequences. Because let's say you make that decision, then you start rationalizing in your head and then you run a movie in your head of what, what you think is going to be outcome, which is, you know, is in the future and therefore it isn't written yet. But that is so funny you say that because. Yeah, it is. Where you'll be like, yeah, well if I do this, what are the consequences? Well, this will probably happen and this will happen and generally we never go. It's going to be so positive.

Exactly.

So, okay, so let's, in fact, let's jump back to just briefly your. Because let's say a guy's listening to this and they're like, okay, I've never heard of Dinos before and he seems a spiritual guy and etc. Etc. And you're like, yeah, but I was a normal functioning, let's call it entrepreneur before that who's, who's been in the trenches as it were and had shit happen to me. Good stuff, bad stuff with business and Facebook ads. Give us a kind of couple of minutes of like, what, what the business you were running and because I've, I've had experience of a guy who was running Facebook ads, was making, had a really good business but he, the systems that he had weren't working properly and he fucked it completely and his business went from making lots of money to zero, like overnight. So tell us a little bit about your kind of entrepreneurial side of things.

Yeah, man, cool. I'll just back it up a little bit. Yeah, like I said, I got my two parents, they came from kind of poorer nations and all of that. And so there's this idea of generational trauma, right, that we'll probably talk about as well, because that's where a lot of things, actually everything comes from. And so growing up for me, the way that I received love from my parents was to achieve academically because that's what's important for them in their countries. And if I get that safe, secure job, then they'll be at ease and they'll feel like they're good parents. And yeah, given their upbringings, that makes perfect sense. So then I became a high achiever because, yeah, I did well at school to get their love because I didn't know any better. I'm just a kid. Then I went on to university, became an electrical engineer, worked for two years for the government, got that government job, got the extra, you know, all that stuff. And then I'm like, oh, yeah, the people are, let's say, who have been here longer than me, you know, the more senior engineers and stuff. It's like, oh, yeah, I don't really want to be like that. That's not where I want my life to go. That's just my choice, you know. And so I stopped and I became an entrepreneur. And that was about 10 years ago. And then I went on this journey of, you know, I saved up all this money. I thought I was going to buy a house, an investment property, and I was that engineer guy, you know, and I didn't do drugs or alcohol or anything like that. I was just following the book and I thought I had some shares. And then I was saving up this big deposit to buy a house and just go down that way and set my life up. And then I read that Four Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss and then the Millionaire Fast Lane by MJ DeMarco. And that showed me that, oh, no, I can have what I want and I can actually change my income to be proportional to my effort instead of my hours. And so then I was like, all right, I'm in for that. So I quit my job, became an entrepreneur, spent the next two years blowing all that money that I saved for buying that house on investing into myself. But, like, I didn't have a job, so it just burnt. And then luckily, after the two years when I was getting real close to zero, pretty much a business kicked off and I was building websites and doing business partner. That went really well. And then we went into another company with another business partner, and that's when My most of my success happened in that year. We went like, we smashed the Facebook ad. The team grew. We had an online personal training company for women and all this stuff. And then, like I was saying, and the Facebook ads messed up. And then it just. Life started going down for the first time in my whole life because I was that high achiever, that high performer, and I had so much pressure on myself. But the big thing, man, that I think a lot of the guys at home will resonate with and the feminine as well, and any non binary folk that are listening, I was whipping myself this entire time to get through it. I was just motivated by fear and pain, comparing myself to others. The part of me that I called Mr. Not Enough, I didn't have that language back then. I do in hindsight, but he would come online to get me to do things, to motivate me. And so if I was scared of something in front of me at. As an entrepreneur, a speech, I just create a bigger fear behind me so that I would go towards the smaller one. And that's why, man, when everything collapsed, because I had this, my dream car, my dream girl, like my dream business. But then over that next 18 months where I had to slowly fire everyone and try to recover my fucking company and it wasn't working and I just had to keep firing people. So it got to the point where I had to fire myself.

Yeah, I thought that might be coming. Yeah.

Yeah. I had to find myself after that, dude. I just was devastated because I had been busting my ass whipping myself to become this fucking Dan Bilzerian. That was my teenagers and young man's dream to be that guy. And then I had gone the opposite way and I thought I was the guy, but, you know, upon reflection, I was just a typical entrepreneur and every entrepreneur goes through failures, but I thought I was different and then I should have been better. So then I started judging myself and all this stuff. And then that's kind of what led me into where I am now as well. Yeah.

And that's why, you know, that. That's really good honesty from you. And that's why, you know, let's say for a guy listening who is like, oh, diner sounds like he's got it all together. And you're like, yeah, but like you say you go through ups and downs and firing yourself. I think there's a. There's a book called something like, you know, fire yourself first or something like that. Because you, you can't, you know, you can't get out of your own way. So, yeah, no, that was a really good one to kind of break into. And we were going to talk about school as well, because just before we start recording, I mentioned that our kids don't go to school. We're home educating them, not homeschooling, because we're not trying to recreate school at home. That's the whole point of it. You're unschooling. And it starts with you, though, because you're, you know, for us, we're so indoctrinated to think, well, that's how we do things and that's how it must be done. Why? Well, because that's how we've always done it. So how for you going forward? I mean, not just teaching men, but if you want kids yourself, how important is that part of it with trying to take away all the learnings you've had as a youngster from college and everything else to then bring into life?

Yeah, well, the biggest thing that's here for me, man, because it's something that's really core to my personal mission. And it's to standardize self love, heal masculinity, heal generational trauma, and start generational light and bring about world peace. And so for me, what's most important for my children the day that I have them is that I'm not passing on generational trauma they can keep. Because all children are born enlightened. All of us were born enlightened. We're all born with a clear window where the light can come in and our light can shine out. But then over time, because of generational trauma, our parents, our culture, our society, the people around us, you know, start to put dirt on that window inadvertently. Yeah, right. I'm not blaming anyone because it all started back when we were animals, like, you know, escaping the darkness and not getting killed. Right. I get it. And so for me, what's important is that I've taken personal responsibility to clean my window and my basements and all the parts of me so I don't pass that on. I'm the final person in my bloodline to pass on trauma, because I won't do it. And so my kids will just keep their clear window and I'll teach them how to do the work and just continue to be themselves. Because that's all this is. All our stuff is just remembering where you came from and who you are and just coming home. You don't have to be different. You just get to accept yourself. And so for me, that's what's most important for my children and for Us, all the leadership team here. That's, that's what's it. Because then if our kids don't pass it on, we can really start something. You don't need to keep bringing the masculine violence that's happened for centuries in an entire history. We don't have to keep doing that if we all just love ourselves and have a good time.

I guess it's like breaking the chain, isn't it? And that's, that's, that's how we've seen it. That I've had to really work on myself because so many times. Yeah. I've found myself saying, you must do this or you can't do that. And then the kids ask beautiful questions, which is like, why? Why can't I do that? You're like, because. And you haven't even got an answer. And that's what I love is they. They fuck you up without you even realizing because they just ask such simple questions that most of us are scared to ask. Why have I got to do this? Why have I got to eat dinner at the dinner table? Well, because you have. Why can't I just sit there where I quite like it by the window and the sun's shining on me? Because everybody else does it. So I'm. I'm working on myself as much as anybody else. But. Well, let's talk about the Spiritual Fight Club and also, you know, going to go on to the trauma. So tell a guy that's listening. Spiritual Fight Club. Give us a kind of a brief rundown of, like, what it is and why it's around.

Nice, man. So I kind of gave Spiritual Fight Club's mission just before when I talked about my personal mission. It's really around this idea of healing masculinity and why it's coming around because, well, amen. Want this because I'm here and we've got, you know, over 300 brothers in our brotherhood now. I just. It's just so many stages of the masculine journey and development as well. And so feeling into all of it. There's people that just kind of want support for themselves, and there's people that are like, okay, cool, but how do we help? Like, a bigger impact, like in my local community. And then what about world peace? You know, like, as a business person or an entrepreneur, where should I be focused? Because I don't think we need to keep innovating fridges and TVs and computers. Like, we don't. Because if climate change actually happens and we're all dead in 300 years, it didn't matter how good our TVs got. So for me, there's this idea that's like, we kind of need this focus on, let's not blow ourselves up again. Because most civilizations that have existed have all ended.

Mm.

And so we're not different. We're actually accelerating towards that because we're not focused within. We're so focused on the outside. And there's just so many men. Men that, like, for me, I was living my entire 30 years on the planet living in my head. I didn't know. I wasn't even in touch with my emotions. And so imagine that, like, there's these whole dimensions of the human experience that I had no idea about. And also, it trapped me in a hell. In. Fuck. Sorry, in hell and suffering. And so that's where men need this and this support. And they've gone on the Internet, they're looking around. And so we just want to provide some clarity around it, too, because there's these people that we're still talking about from thousands of years ago. So they've had their truths tested. And I'm talking about, like, Buddha, Jesus, Lao Tzu. And we're not a religious organization. We're not into organized religion or anything like that. We're into spirituality. And in my definition, that just means I live my life based off my own experience. Whereas for me, religion is usually based on someone else's experience. And that's okay, but I like to live from my experience. And so that's kind of where Spiritual Fight Club was birthed and formed. But now. And also, it's really important to note that my message and the way I speak, it changes over time. And so maybe in two years time, we'll reflect on this and I'll be a completely different person.

Yeah.

Because iteration and change is what's important to me. And Spiritual Fight Club, part of that. Last year, we started building our feminine community. And so. And just last weekend, we ran our second event and had over 100 women there. And so now we've got two communities, the Brotherhood and the Sisterhood. And so now what we're going to do is because we've really started to realize communities are the answer, and now we're bringing them together. And so Spiritual Fight Club is going to morph, and we had the defined feminine side. We're going to morph it all into the peace timeline. That's going to be the new brand and the new organization as we move together. So that there is this focus on, you know, we're bringing things into this Timeline of world peace. Because if it's not now, when are we going to get focused on that? You know, someone's got to get started on that, and the sooner we can all work together, the sooner we can have it.

Yeah.

And so that's kind of where it's all starting and kind of where it kicked off.

It's really interesting because, I mean, when. When I was writing some notes or have a look through this, like we said, there's so many ways you can over. I can kind of overcome all the different questions by trying to just feed off of, you know, the different stuff that you say. And one of the things I read about that you said was, it doesn't matter what you have or haven't achieved in life, we only care about your character. And I love that because a great example at the moment with the lockdowns have people's businesses royally, you know, across the world. But let's pick in the uk and my thing there is you could be a guy at the moment who two years ago owned five nightclubs, five, you know, luxury restaurants and hotels and all these different things, and life is really good. And then the government shut it all down. So it's through no fault of your own. And I've read of guys that have lost their businesses through no fault of their own because, you know, the government stopped them from trading, basically, and gave them a pathetic amount of money. And you look at that guy and you say, he hasn't changed as a person and his character is still there, but is it that he might look now and think, well, I'm not achieving because I haven't got my. My business. So for you, I thought that was really nice to say we only care about your character because same for me, I'm like, I don't give a fuck whether you've got a nice car or a big business or this or that, what you've done in the past, you know, show me what kind of man you are, and then I'll be interested in whether I'm going to hang around with you or not.

Yeah, yeah, I love that man. Exactly. Because for me, it's just always coming down to this idea of your ability to respond, because that's all there is. Life's always going to change. It doesn't stay the same. And so you've always got to be the guy to respond. And then for me, like, to really look into character is then, okay, well, how do you treat yourself? What's your relationship with yourself like? Because depending on what that is, it really dictates your relationships with others.

Yeah, that's trying to think of the saying of, you know, the most important opinion you can have is that of yourself. Because then it doesn't really matter what else is going on around you. You're like, you know, if you can, if you can be. And we say strong physically, mentally and strong for me doesn't mean that you're some, you know, big muscly guy. But it's like, you know, can you take care of yourself? Are you, you know, can you do good body weight stuff? But also can you deal with whatever shit that life's going to throw at you? Because we know that it is going to be, you know, left, right and center. Especially in this last few years, a lot of guys have struggled with working from home, you know, because there's two ways looking at, you know, for some guys it was you working from home and you had a family, but then you're not going out and working. You're always there and there's distractions and it's not, it's not the same as going out into your work environment. Then you had some guys that were working from home and weren't seeing anybody at all. And we know that isolation is a punishment and that's why they put you in. When you're in prison, you're in self isolation. But one of the things you said about was for men being paralyzed by overthinking and being stuck in your comfort zone. That was part of like the men of peace. Can you, can you talk to us about being the paralysis of analysis or paralysis of overthinking?

Oh, dude. Well, I can tell you a story about from when I was a young man, dude, I was as a young man just so stuck in my head, right, as this engineer because I love spreadsheets and doing all this. And then for example, when I'm trying to date, I would go to nightclubs and I wasn't, I was the only real person in my group who didn't drink. In basically my whole town, most of my town are all drinkers and, or people who enjoy alcohol. I'll rephrase that.

But why, why didn't you drink? It's just an interesting question. What, what was the reason you. You didn't if so many other people.

I tried it a bunch of times and it just tasted really bad. Made me sick, made me tired. It cost money. And it led to me to feeling like I wasn't very physically safe. I couldn't protect myself. I just saw people getting bashed all the time. And then they couldn't protect their loved ones. And then I couldn't drive either. And then I got a. Like, I feel sick and it feels like. And I know it's a poison because I use alcohol to clean things. I was like, I don't think any of this is stacking up for a good idea. Yeah, just.

I got a laugh there because you've, like, listed, you know, if someone's like, oh, why don't I drink now? I do drink alcohol now and again, and I certainly drink a lot less than when I used to work in the city, because that was part of life and you had kind of had to drink. Otherwise you just. You just wouldn't get ahead with what you were doing. But you've just summed up there. When one of our. One of my sons said. Heard me talking about drinking alcohol, and he said, why do you drink alcohol? And.

Or.

No, he said, what? You know, what. What does it mean when you get drunk? Now? I. I don't think I've ever seen me drunk, but it was so funny how I was like. In my head, I was like, how do you explain to a child why you drink alcohol and get drunk when you've just listed all the really bad things about it? So, yeah, that got me. But, sorry, carry on with your story. But that's interesting because guys listening might be like, oh, why doesn't he drink? You're like, well, here's 10 fucking good reasons.

Yeah. And then I don't judge people who do, because I tried again. You know, all my friends are drinking, and I stayed friends with all of them because they accepted it. We all tried, and it was just a thing that just wasn't for me. And so I continued that. And what would happen is then in the nightclub, we're talking about analysis, paralysis and all that stuff, whether I'm drinking or not, right? It still was kind of there. If I was drunk sometimes in the rare occasion, it would just be even more of a mess, but I'd be in there, man, and my mind would want to fucking calculate everything, measuring every conversation, measuring everyone's movement. That man, that woman, should I talk to this person? And that. But see, all these questions, but it stopped me from taking action. And from the action, I could have gotten experience. And from experience, I could have gotten wisdom. Ah, but we didn't go that way. We stayed in our heads. And so then we stayed standing still with our glass of water. And man. Oh, yeah. So right now my young man's here because he's a part of me that those memories that I went through, I can still feel them and experience them if I want to. And so he's here now. And so for him, this was really hard for him, you know, telling this story because there was a lot of nights, man, where I would just stand there frozen in fear of this analysis paralysis, trying to analyze the perfect time, the perfect thing to say. What if this happens? What if that woman has a boyfriend and I get punched in the head? No, we shouldn't go that way. What about just constantly this analysis. But yeah, man, he would go home and then at night before he goes to bed, he would regret his inaction. So there's a lot of sadness that's here, present for me now with, with this memory, with this part of me. And he felt a lot of shame as well, my young man. And then a lot of judgment because he's. And then he would say to himself at that night, he would relive all the moments where there was a woman that he was attracted to and he didn't do anything. And then see, then he's gone out of the analysis paralysis into judgment. So see how his nights out were just shit. Analysis paralysis, overthinking and then straight into judgment before bed and self hatred. And that's that whole cocktail of emotions, feelings and thoughts that are going on, which I can language now because of all the work that I've done. But back then I had no fucking idea. No, man. And I had no idea and I just felt the sadness, the pain and the suffering. And that's why I do what I do now, man, because I just didn't have an education around the parts of me and talking to myself. And I'm not just my mind, I'm a multi dimensional being. I didn't have the education no one taught me. As soon as Matt Matthew Fitzpatrick, the guide, my mentor, as soon as he taught me, man, I just ran with it. I fucking ran with it and my whole life just started flipping flippant and it was awesome.

Isn't that nice though to, you know, it's a bit like, you know, sometimes just say yes to more things and be okay. Like putting yourself kind of in the hands of someone else sounds like a dodgy massage down a back alley. But you know, it's, it's that kind of thing where I think for maybe for a lot of guys listening that sometimes you're trying to do everything yourself and just be like it is okay sometimes to say, you know, when you say seek help, it sounds like you're having therapy, but just to get around other guys that might be able to just make you think differently. And. Well, let's. Let's talk about Matt because, you know, I looked at some of the stuff he does online, but tell the guys that listening, like kind of who he is and what he's brought to you.

Yeah. So, I mean, he's like the guy that changed my life. I'd say he's like. If I was Neo, he was my Morpheus, you know, and he went on his. He's got his whole story, his big journey where, you know, he went through some things and then he was working for two years with women. And then he's got. Told him to change his whole company to only working with men.

Yeah.

So we just shut down that business, followed his gut, and then built that out. And then he met me and now we've like, what I was saying, I met my gut and I was like, oh, damn, life's different. I'm not. Now that I've like a. Another person to help me. Like, there's another person on my team that I've got access to 24 7. This is going to be good. And so after about three months, I healed enough of the parts of me, you know, the parts of me like Mr. Judgment, the guy that keeps Mr. Inner Critic.

Yeah.

I asked my gut to talk to him and then they slowly came to resolute. Like they healed. We talked to those parts of us. And then after about three months, I was like, oh, no, my life. I found my purpose. It's to just spread this because I know how many guys are out there just like me. Entrepreneurs, engineers, guys that love Brazilian jiu jitsu, mma. Like, I'm just a guy from a small town in Australia and I was suffering big time. And now I have hope and I can actually heal myself. I can self heal. And that's when I became my own leader. I didn't need anyone outside of me. And all those courses before me, it always felt like I had to keep coming back to them. Whereas what Matt showed me was here's how to be a leader and a self healer for yourself, man, so you don't need me. And in that, I was like, oh, well, I'm going back to him then, because that's the energy I've always been looking for. And then I went and started my own business, literally, to compete with him. Ran two of my own programs, realized this is going to take ages to get a brotherhood and a community. Yeah, I just went back to him, and I just joined him because then I realized, man, if I'm truly about service and unconditional love, then it can't be about me. So it's not about having my name on the door. And a lot of the people that we've listed, their names are still on the door, and it's about them.

Yeah.

So then I went, I was like, all right, well, I'm just here to serve. I just want to help as many people as I can. So I went back with him. He wanted me to work with him, too. And then that was about a year and a half ago. And then about six months ago, man, I became the CEO of this organization. And then I've just had this. And now I'm like a founder with him. And, you know, we're moving through this together. And he's stepping away from the business side of things now to become an artist. And so he's going to be launching his. His thing, which is called the Peace effort. And so he'll have a talk on February 26 at the Opera House here in Sydney. That's where he's signature speech is going to come out. And then we've got the peace timeline. And so I'm handling more of the business and the community with all the different genders. And he's just more becoming like a, let's say, a thought leader or a scientist in all of that space. And he's just had this amazing, profound effect on me and impact. And now we're mates and I live one minute down the road from him.

It's great, though, to find those people and, you know, going back to personal development stuff and events. For me, it wasn't just what you learned there, but it was who you met. And for me, I'm still in touch with, in fact, one of the guys interviewed on the podcast two or three weeks ago. It was because I met his wife at a Tony Robbins event and we just clicked. And five years later, six years later, we're then connecting and she's putting me in touch with him. And he's spoken on stage with a lot of the kind of personal development greats, but you never know how making those efforts and making those connections. It might not be tomorrow that, you know, it benefits you and benefits them, but five or six years down the line. But one of the questions I wanted to ask you about was, I wrote.

Down, before we go to that next question, add something there because you've made a really good point.

Right?

You've just said five, six years down the Track, it'll be awesome. Like there's some good thing that's going to come. But, see, our minds can't compute that. So to the men with the analysis paralysis, and we're talking about moving to the gut versus the mind. See, the mind, it would have to run some sort of crazy analysis spreadsheet to all the possibilities that could happen over the next year. 2 years, 3 years, 5 years, 6 years based off that one interaction. It's like, see, the mind can't do all of that. That's not what it's there for. But your gut feeling, right, which comes off your experience, because that's where your wisdom is. Your knowledge is up in your head, but your wisdom and felt experiences in your intuition and in your body. That's how you can remember to still ride a bike. You know what I mean? It's a felt experience. And so that's what I'm saying. And that was a perfect example. Just keep trusting yourself, right? Keep following your gut. It might not make any fucking sense in that moment or the next year, but then, like you've just said, and we've all gone through that experience, that's why I feel like this is a good teaching point. Yeah, man. Just trust yourself. Love yourself, be yourself.

Yeah.

Be kind to yourself and to people around you, man, and the world will start working with you and for you. And it's hard to believe up front. That's why not many people go all this way down this journey, down this path, because it's really easy to go back to, certainly back to the comfort zone, back to the mind, back to what you know. And it's tough. And so just thanks for letting me put that in there because it'll be really helpful for people.

That is good. And you said about the comfort zone, I always think with. I spoke about this on another podcast recently, because it is so easy to stay stuck in your. You don't have to be stuck in your comfort zone. You're just chilling in your comfort zone. And that's great if, you know, for a lot of guys, if you're where you want to be in life and you can just kind of trundle along, then that's cool. But obviously, if you. If you want more out of life and you want to make changes, be it career or relationships or your body, your health, fitness, all that stuff, you're going to have to be okay getting out of your comfort zone at some point, because you got to start taking action. And it was the thing I read about internal freedom and overcoming Your mind's blockages. And I would link that to, you know, not getting out your comfort zone is probably because there's some kind of blockage in your mind, which sounds like some deep and meaningful thing, but it's like, you know, what is holding a guy back? So can you talk to that? I mean, you know, for you, you've taken action in business and in your. Your own development and spent money on stuff. Because I realize, you know, often you do have to spend money to travel and have these different experiences. But what about your overcoming mind blockages?

Overcoming mind blockages?

Yeah.

Yeah. Well, the big thing for me is slowing down, because that's what's so beautiful about our work is like our first master lesson is slow down and then slow down again and then fucking stop and actually just feel and empty yourself. Stop trying to detect something or measure something and just let go. And just. You can just do that right now. You can just sit here. And then usually for people, especially before I did so much of the work, there will be all these thoughts and voices in your head. And I'll tell you. And I remember when I first started meditating, man, dude, I'd sit down for, like, 30 seconds and that voice in my head would go, dude, get up and get to your desk. What are you doing, man?

Yeah, coke. Get. Do stuff. Achieve stuff.

Yeah. He's like, bro, we are not crushing it. We're in debt. We need to get to work. And so the first couple days, I just get up, but then it got to, like, the fourth day, and I'm like, bro, I said, no, we need to stay seated here for just five minutes. Like, surely if I sit here for five minutes, it's not going to wreck our whole day. And so then I started to gradually do that. But see, these are all those blockages. Everyone's got them every moment of the day. They just don't notice because they're not slowing down. And that's why meditation for me is like the first place to kind of start. And for me, it's not the final answer. There's another iteration after meditation. But meditation is a great place to start because then you're just forced to. To just slow down and look at these thoughts. Because I was like, man, back then, I wasn't conversing with myself. I didn't have that ability yet. I did, because I just didn't know that I could talk to myself and it would respond. And there was more than one voice and parts of me and emotions. And there's a little boy And a teenager with him in a young man. Like, there's all these different memories and traumas. You know, when that girl rejected me in primary school, or my parents got pulled down there, or this. It's like these are still playing out when I'm a. Like a 25 year old or 30 year old. So there's a whole journey there.

Yeah.

But for me now, it was just so meaningful to be able to slow down and just look at the meditation. And it's like, why can't I do this? It's just five minutes of being in silence.

Yeah.

So then I immediately met that block. Right. And then I said, well, I just. See, then I just only had logic. So I logic my way out of it again. And that was the first mind block. But then what happens is, as we go deeper down these rabbit holes of spirituality, it's like, cool, what's your relationship with death? Like, what's your relationship with attachment? Like, yeah. Then what happens to your mind?

And it stays.

Where's the blockages? Yeah. And then it's like, cool, man. How do you liberate yourself from suffering? Is there a final answer to this? Whereas why is there so much suffering in the fucking world? What could I do about it? What should I be doing every day? You know, there's all these questions too, but then sometimes our mind, the blockages, it's just straight fee which then goes into an emotion. But what I found is like, for example, where did I learn about death? Like, who told me what's going to happen after death and why are they right? And like, for you, Anthony, like, where did you first learn about death? Because it's usually when we were a kid where we started to first realize it.

Yeah, yeah, it's funny. I mean, I grew up on a farm, therefore, in a way, the good thing is that you learn about death more regularly because you've got animals that are dying as opposed to, you know, in my life I've only recall, you know, two of my. My. My grandma and my nan, you know, both died and I have memories of it, but both my grandfather and my grandpa, as it were. I was too young. I was like 4 or 5. So I don't really recall. But growing up on a farm, you know, sounds. Anyway, you've got animals dying, either that have been killed by a wild something or you've got animals that you're having been put down because they're so. So it's funny how, yeah, as a child, being around the animals helped you deal with death because you had it more regularly than if it just, you know, it hit you, hit you one day. But you're right. Who talks, who talks about that?

What did he believe would happen after death, though?

Yeah, I think for me, nothing. And you know, I never even thought about that. It was just. And again, why, in a way, why would you. Unless. Because at school no one said, right, today we're doing English, tomorrow we're doing. And then we're talking about death. It doesn't happen. So you end up just basically going on probably whatever you get told by your parents, who probably don't really know how to answer it themselves. So they just give you a off the cuff answer and then you're left to fend for yourself. So where would you go with talking about it? I. The more, the older I get and I like to say wiser. I would like to think that, you know, we are just an experience at the moment. You know, I'm in a. I'm in a skin suit and when I depart this, you know, I go into. I go into something else and you're say reincarnated. But you. There is something else after it. Haven't got a clue what it is. But what about yourself?

Yeah. So for me growing up, dude, I love that you grew up on a farm. Oregon farms are awesome. But for me, my parents were both. They followed Christianity and so I just got taught, you know, and see this, I mean, if I ask my little boy now, hey man, like, what did you. What do you remember? Been taught. He's like, well, what they. What I learned when he's saying as a little boy is like, there's this thing called fucking hell and it's really scary and if I'm a bad boy and see he's crying now like, because he was terrified of going to hell.

Yeah.

And then there's this heaven thing that I'm supposed to get to if I'm a good boy. But then I. Back then, yeah, my little boy is telling me, he's like, well, I have no context. I don't understand. I just. How do I be a good person? I think I just have to keep listening to my parents. And so then I did, but now what got installed is there is this place that is torture. If I don't do the right things in my life, I'm going to have everlasting pain and suffering and fire. And there's this fucking guy called Satan and a devil and it's like, no, man. And that's. That sucks because then that me carrying that my whole life man, when I got to those important business meetings, let's say, or approaching a beautiful woman or going into one of my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu competitions, there's a part of me that's fearful and fearing death because his experience from my animal side of me is that, you know, this is some sort of danger or threat and we could die. And so then top it on the thing is like, oh, I might go to hell after this. But see, now I've worked on that with all the different parts of me and their understandings of death, and now I don't believe that. And I can choose what's going to happen after death, right. And then my whole life's kind of changed. And that's where, like with the work and with slowing down and like with Buddhism as well, that's something I do like about that. Their relationship with death. Yeah, it's like, cool. There's an impact on the way we live our lives and when we take a. Like a real look at death. But I just thought that was something because I know we're talking about mind blocks. This is just. These are just some of these things that I'd love, you know, the listeners at home to just feel through and then they'll meet their mind blocks that.

It may be, that could be the ultimate mind block is people not taking action because they're fearful of death. And for me, you know, there's always that kind of saying, you know, whenever you. Whenever your time is up, you want it to be that if you were laying your deathbed, you're not like, I wish I'd done this, and I wish I'd done that. And it's like, you know, remembering to live. And that's what. In this last two years, a lot of people have become so afraid of dying that they hadn't been living. Which is sad because, I mean, we spoke about the media. I mean, the. The psychological operation that the media have been running with the government, which is quite easily documented. And you can, you know, read, read, read some great books on it. It's. I always say once it's easy to scare people, but it's very hard to take that fear away from them again. And that's what we've seen in this last two years is. Is the media and the way they have manipulated people and, you know, the constant. These people have died and this is happening and do this, what have you. It's been sad to see some people have been so deeply affected by that. I don't think they'll ever recover because you know, they've been psychologically reframed. And the funny thing is, often people can't. Can't see that. But for a guy listening, you're like, you know, being paralyzed by the fear of sometimes fear of achieving as well, because sometimes your friends might not like it because you are then different to them. What's your thoughts on that?

Yeah, well, dude, I've got lived experience of that. Like that's actually happened to me. So I've got plenty of thoughts and feelings. And then just to double click on the death thing before, before we move to this topic, what I really want to acknowledge for the listeners is let's say when I talked about that story of my young man in the nightclub, he's experiencing this death feeling because people have fears of public speaking.

Yeah.

You know, fears of talking to the sex that they're attracted to or going forward in business or whatever those things. It's like when you sit down logically and say, hey, man, what's the worst thing that can happen? She says, please go away or you don't get your funding, or you don't. It's like, that's it. Yeah, but see, why does people still procrastinate? Why do they still have Mr. Paralysis Analysis? Because it's so scary that they can equate it to death. And so that's what's so important. That's why I brought it up. Because when we lay down all these things, man. Yeah, dude, you just do it. The worst case is you get rejected. The end. Yeah, but it's not that simple. See, this is what I mean. Thoughts saying it. Logic makes life. And that's why it's so, so important to acknowledge our feelings and our emotions. Because our emotions don't agree with that. They think we're gonna die. And until I start listening to them, the alarm only gets louder. See, people don't actually slow down enough to listen to what these parts of them are trying to tell them. Because the only reason they're getting louder is the same reason, man, for you. If I saw you getting closer to the road and you were not paying attention, man, I'd start yelling. Yeah, I'd be, anthony, watch out, there's cars, man. And if you just had your headphones and you kept going towards this highway, man, I'd run down and I'd tackle you. See, that's where there's this good idea about love as well, man. See, love isn't always a hug. It might be a tackle, man. Because I love you as a human being. I want to protect you from the traffic. And I'm sure you do the same for your kids.

Yeah.

So that's why it's really hard to judge. And, like, it's not so straightforward, but it's so important that you do love yourself and that you do go towards those. Those things and you take actions towards this place.

It's. It's such an interesting one, saying about, you know, how does a guy learn to love himself? Because, you know, in the uk, and we could probably mirror that in Australia and kind of a lot of countries, you know, the male suicide rate is ridiculously high. I think it's, you know, something like 75% of suicides are men. And primarily it's, you know, those guys in their, I mean, say 20s, 30s, 40s. But I always look at fulfillment as one of the most important things. Or I know fulfillment is a feeling, and feeling. Feelings are fleeting, you know, would you want to be happy all the time? Because if you don't ever feel sadness, how do you know what happiness is? There's a mindfuck for you. But for me, yeah, fulfillment was one of those important things that you say to a guy. You know, you show me a guy that's taken his own life, none of those guys are going to be like, oh, man, I was so fulfilled, I just decided to check out, you know, so. But fulfillment, I think, is linked to purpose. Because if you're working towards your, whatever your purpose in life, there's an emotional state in that as well. So tell me, what's your thoughts on the importance of purpose for a guy?

I feel like you've covered purpose really well, and purpose is important. And then I find those things underneath that, that could be even more important.

Yeah.

Because what if your purpose was just to be yourself? Then how easy could life be? And maybe you could experience bliss and heaven on earth. And so that's why I feel like some people kind of get carried away by extending that sentence a bit too far. Or my purpose is X, Y, Z, this, this and that. It's like, cool. What if we got it to your purposes exist and that's enough.

Yeah.

Because people, lots of people I know have purposes and missions and all this, but inside they don't love themselves. They don't feel like they're worthy. They feel like they're not enough. They feel like they need validation. They don't take responsibility. They're still a victim. See, all these things can still play out even if you have a purpose. So that's where I feel like it can be something really good, but also something that most people hide behind. And also they hide behind not taking action until they have their purpose. But it's also something. Well, my experience, you know, I had a purpose and I didn't have a purpose. And then I found my fulfillment and meaning, because you're right. In everything that you described. And then, though I just kept shortening it. It's like, oh, no, I just. I don't need to say I am successful or I am this. It's like, no, just I am enough, or just. And then it just gets shorter and I am. And then just I. And it's like, okay, cool. And then there's these big. As we keep going down and doing the work and coming to this place of service. That's where, like, purpose is. Because then when you do the work enough, you realize that you're awesome and everything's all good about me. So I just want. I'm here to help. And I feel like you're. You've got a lot of that energy, man, and that's why you're doing all of this stuff, dude. You know, you're just. You're here to help. And so that in itself, like serving. Because for me, you know, what we talk about in our culture, like, being the king and not one of those old tyrannical kings or anything like that. A king of peace.

Yeah.

And what we mean is a king who's willing to sacrifice how he feels, how he's going for his kingdom. And for me, what we encourage everyone is to start just doing that for yourself. Not people pleasing, not sacrificing. How you feel for your wife or your kids or your partner or the work. People say no inside. It's like if there's a part of you that is really critical and hates you, I still love that part of me. Because it's not about me. It's not about how he feels about me. He feels whatever he feels. I want to show him love. Just like I would show my son or my daughter or people in my life, even if they said those things to me, I'm going to still show them love.

Yeah.

So I understand that. Operating from a trigger, from a trauma, not from a clean window from when they were a child and enlightened. Do you know what I mean? It's just being themselves, not in judgment, not getting stuck in the future or stuck in the past. Kids are just in the moment. And we can go back to that now as adults, because we've also developed our brain where we can keep Ourselves safe physically, whereas a child, a six year old can't. We can now. And so I know that that part of me is always there. But I don't need to keep analyzing anymore. I'm okay as I am and I'm just focused now on loving myself no matter what. And that to me is a really good purpose. Because then no matter where you end up in life with your restaurants, with lockdown, with nothing, if you love yourself no matter what, well then it doesn't even matter what happens in the external world. You become free. And I know so many entrepreneurs, and especially me as a young man, as an entrepreneur, I thought freedom was money, women, cars, but really money, because then they all taught me too. Then I can use a helicopter to fly around and I can save time because then all this, I'm like, yeah, cool man. But at the end of the day, man, all these people chasing crypto and business like I've been around millionaires, I know all these people, like, what happens if that all goes away? Do you still love yourself? Are you still going to be happy, at peace? I was like, yeah, man, cool. So just be mindful of that because we're not actually in control of the external world as much as we think. But I am in charge of how I feel and I can lead the internal parts of me in this internal kingdom that I experience and that's what I think is most important. And purpose is a great start.

I like it because yeah, even going through the, the world of personal development, you were kind of encouraged to link purpose, to have a, you know, a sentence which for somebody was really long, you know, my purpose is this, I'm going to do this and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you're like, wow, that's a lot of, that's a lot of pressure to put on your shoulders, mate. You know, and you're like, well, if you just say, do you know what, you know, for me say, my purpose is to, even if it was like just be a great person, you know, if that's, if that's what works for you, if you want to simplify it. And you're like, it hasn't got to be linked to all the, as you say that, the money and the cars and this and that and, and it's a bit like, you know, just reminded me when someone spoke about when someone calls their partner their other half and you say, what's wrong with that? And you say, well, therefore if that partner goes, you linking that to, that's, you know, that they were, they were part of you, so your other half is gone. Or if they cheat on you or what have you, you're you. They're not your other half because you're you. And there are an external person, which is another. Another interesting podcast, but, okay, let's talk about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, which I can't even say. It's too early in the morning for me. I haven't had enough coffee. But because we've had. So we had a guy called Josh Palmer on, who does. Commentating on karate combat in the States and. And mma. And we've had. I mean, last year, I think it was. We've had guy fighters on. We had the.

The.

I can never pronounce it. Mai Thai World Fighting Champion. Spoke at one of our events about three years ago, a guy called Greg Wootton, who's now out in. In New York, I think. So I was like, you know, I've never done any fighting. I've done a bit of kickboxing, but I, you know, I don't want to get my nose broken. So where does the interest in fighting come from for you? Because I think that's great for a guy. We want to teach our boys to be able to not just protect themselves, but maybe help someone else if they needed it as they grow up and not be weak and pathetic. So I'll let you have the floor and talk about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

Oh, awesome, man. That's one of my passions in life. For me, kind of the start of that journey was when I was about 6 years old. My dad forced me to go to Taekwondo because he grew up in World War II back in Eastern Europe. And so coming to Australia, he still had all the trauma from his life being on the line. Right. And so then when he. I was six, he goes, you got to go to Taekwondo so you can protect yourself at school.

Yeah.

So he didn't have the Internet back then, and we didn't have the UFC yet. We didn't have all the split tests between all the different martial arts. So I did that from 6 till I was 18, 19. And then I kind of became a young man. I stopped being a teenager because then I started to, you know, work for myself, go to university. So I had the Internet. And one of my mentors at Taekwondo, he was also doing Brazilian Jiu jitsu. And then he started telling me about it. And I watched the first UFC, the first couple of UFCs, the Ultimate Fighting Championship. And I realized that karate and taekwondo don't do that well against jiu jitsu. Or wrestling. And then Brazilian Jiu Jitsu kept winning them. And so then I was like, oh yeah. And so I just quit Taekwondo and started Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. But I started at an MMA school, so I started doing MMA straight away. So they did mma, no GI wrestling, kickboxing, Muay Thai and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. And then that was. Yeah, and then I did Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. We'll just focus there for 10 years. I became a brown belt, so I almost got to my black belt, right. And I stopped training about four years ago to focus on movement and handstands and some other stuff. And then now I'm getting back into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. But that changed my life, man. Like I always recommend that, like that change because my name was a bit unique in Australia, coming from Latvia, like I got teased about it, I got teased and there's not, there's just some other stuff from the town that I was from where you know, it was. I could have been a target to bullying, you know, and it wasn't. Not going to say it was some extreme thing compared to other people. However, you know, I didn't feel good. You know, I felt like I couldn't stand up for myself. And then after about one to two years of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, everything changed because then I just started wrestling all my mates and I started tapping them all and I was like, oh no. Oh. So I've got like some sort of power now, you know, as an individual in a one on one combat, right. With a knife or multiple attackers. Right. But that meant university became very different because I had this strength that I backed myself and I knew it because I've rolled with hundreds of men on mats and at training and random people of all different shapes and sizes. And then now with my friends at the park, I'm like, oh no, you guys can't beat me and I'm only getting better. And then I'll never forget there was this moment about like in my third year of it, like the local football team, the professional rugby league team came and I wrestled a bunch of them and I tapped them and I choked them. I got to their backs and I checked them out. I'm only like back then I was like a 70 kilo skinny Asian guy.

Yeah, right.

Wrestling these big fucking built rugby league players. It was really hard. They almost popped my head off. But then I weathered the storm and I got to their back and I did a re naked choke and I choked them out and I won and I was like oh, oh, this is different now. Like, this is really different. And so then everything changed me because then I started holding eye contact with all the masculine people in my life that I can mean I wasn't afraid because I knew if the conversation went, if it kept going towards conflict. The last card we're going to play is the physical violence card. And I'm trained because it wasn't just Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I was also doing mma, you know, and all that stuff. And so then no conversations started going down that way because my energy already at the, at the start of the game is like, no, man, I'm. I'm ready to go anywhere. And they can feel that. But then what's really interesting is it didn't help me at all with speaking to the feminine.

Right?

Like, that's what's. I love looking back on that. It's like my relationship with masculine people, dude, I just was fully confident with the feminine. It didn't impact it at all because they never want to fight me. There is never. They don't want to physically threaten me, but it was only other men that wanted to do that. So then I took care of that. And so that's why I just recommend Brazilian Jiu Jitsu to anyone if they want to experience those things. But couple it with self love, otherwise you'll just go on a huge ego trip and stay as a teenager or a young man. So don't do that either. You know, you've got to do it together.

Yeah, that, that's, you know, it's really, that's why I left it to the end to talk about that, because I find that so interesting. I, I wish that I had have got into that stuff, you know, many years ago, especially where I live now. There's nowhere around here that, you know, we've got chickens and we've got some horses around us, and that's about it. But that is. I saw some common patterns in a lot of the guys I followed through personal development. And a lot of them were into Jiu jitsu and they felt like it gave them strength of character. It also meant they felt like they could take care of themselves and their family and their loved ones or a random person in the street. And that's one of the things I always feel like I've missed out on because I didn't do any of that stuff. So I'd hate to be in that situation where you wanted to try and help someone, but physically you just didn't know what to do. And what I took out of like was a they training in. In kind of, you know, the different, let's call it different martial arts. It meant that they could have an inner confidence and you just said it there like you could go down to any level. So yeah, I always think for guys that's always a priceless one is if you feel inner confidence, maybe it floods through to whatever else you do in life, to be honest. But. So, okay, last question is with the Spiritual Fight Club, kind of what's next for it? Because the big thing for me is getting together for events. You know, we all know online stuff is all very good, but for me it's not the same as if I was in the same room as you. We'd probably give each other a hug and you know, you're looking in each other's eyes. So what's next for Spiritual Fight Club?

Oh man. So we were always a physical community and always focused on the in person community because we feel like that's the way forward for humanity is to just start with us, you know, in our local communities. It's only because of COVID that we've pushed a lot of things online. But for us here in Australia, it appears at this moment to be starting to settle. I don't know if there's going to be an extra mutation or anything like.

That so you can all get back together.

Yeah, we're accelerating towards that. And so this is something that is a little bit bold from our organization is like we're going to open a gym in the next couple of months where most people wouldn't even think of that because we just want a place where all the feminine and the masculine learn and the flow can all come together and really have that. And then I'm going to be teaching jiu jitsu there. Then we have yoga there and breath work and a crystal workshop from our feminine elder and our feminine team work facilitators are there and our masculine team. And then that's what I'm so pumped about because then there's dating as well. Because the big thing that I found and we never got to that question about like losing friends or the impact on our friends. It's like a big part of this is I've gone in and done so much inner work to love myself unconditionally all the way in all of the areas and dimensions. Well, now I have a different standard of queen or partner that I would want when it comes to their ability to love themselves. So that's what's really exciting because a lot of men now and the women as well, they're all looking for a king or a queen or a unicorn. But it's hard to find because on the dating apps it always starts off it's just weird because there's no fear feeling. It's just got to be mainly from the mind to start with and it's like cool. And so that's what is next for us and to be doing that. And we've obviously got all our programs running but that's what's most exciting for me is that we can come back to the in person. We're going to start having a talent show, you know what I mean? Like we're just going to do all these things when we just come together because our community, like there's certain values and then you've got to do the work and go through our programs to get in. And so that means you're a person who's chosen to embody self love and unconditional acceptance and non judgment and go on that journey to be a person of character that loves themselves all the way. And so that's the community that we have. And what I'm so excited about and I'm glad we've made it through the COVID blizzard and the lockdowns and just fingers crossed that it's going to just keep declining and slowing down.

That's the big thing with you know, I see the power in after being at either massive event through, at Tony Robbins and stuff. You know, the power of the energy that you have in a room that it's, you know, you can't replicate on even if you had a thousand people on Zoom. It's not the same. Although it can still be effective. It's just, it's just a different energy and that's one of the things you know, we'd held was it 12 events in London for men, you know, started back in 2018. Biggest event was like 65 guys in a room with a panel of speakers and you know, it was a really good, good evening and so many people like oh this is so different to anything else I've been to. And then it all stopped. But, but probably from that the podcast wouldn't have come out if the events had carried on because the events take so much to organize that I, you know, I only have 24 hours in a day plus a family and businesses to run etc. So yeah, that's, that's one of the big things for us is, is you know, we've run some dinners but getting guys together again is a, is a priceless experience and also doing, you know, getting them out into nature if they can. You know, hotel rooms are great, but, you know, getting out into Woodlands and what have you is. Is priceless, to be honest. But. And tell me about the, you know, lasting few is like, what's the rest of your day hold? Because it's, you know, it's late at night there. So is your. Do you have a bedtime routine or are you pretty much, you know, chilled before you go to bed?

Oh, cool. Well, after this, my general manager lives with me. That was really cool. So he got stuck with me in lockdown on my couch last year, so we spent like seven months together, and he wasn't the general manager then, and he was just a new guy doing the work, and then he just really stuck at it. And so after this, I'll just hang out with him and we'll decompress about our days and, you know, I'd like to talk to him about my experience of this podcast and let the other parts of me express how they've felt. Because, you know, through this podcast, I've felt a lot of different things, and there's a lot of things going on, not just thoughts. I've had some feelings and emotions come up, and so it's nice to just decompress with him and then, man, I'll just kind of just chill out. There isn't some. Well, I focus on slowing down and decompressing and not going on my computer or my phone or anything like that. I stopped doing that. Then I just kind of go to bed, and then now I look forward to my dreams because they've become lucid as well. There used to be a time where I didn't look forward to my dreams or anything like that, so end up probably just talking to whoever's there and just, you know, checking in with them as well. And that's kind of it for the evening.

Yeah, it sounds. It sounds nice. Relaxing. You said. The one thing I always try and minimize myself or pass on to other people is like trying to leave screens alone for the last. You know, either because it's going to excite you or frustrate you or, you know, it's going to wake you up with the. With the. The brightness of the screen. So, you know, often I get asked, you know, I work with people on. On their morning routines. I think if you can start your day well, you know, maybe at peace with yourself and with good energy, that will kind of, you know, ripple through the day. But, you know, it's also how you can finish the day. So yours sounded quite relaxed to me, which I like. But whereas I'm about to go out, let the, let the chickens out, defrost the car and then, and then start editing podcasts. So it's, it's a different issue. But I want to say firstly, I appreciate now we've been talking with James who works with you guys, we've been talking since I think, October, trying to find a time when it worked for both of us with the time. So I appreciate you taking the time out of your evening to speak to us and speak to the guys and hopefully you've enjoyed it as well.

Yeah, man, thank you so much. I appreciate your patience around it all and I'm so happy to be here. I really like the whole man academy written behind you, man. I like this idea of wholeness and I really appreciate you inviting me on here and I love what you said about the other half thing too. I agree, man, because in some previous relationships there was some trauma bonding going on and codependency. Whereas now I'm me and you're over there and let's co create, let's be independent people and live life together. We don't need each other, we choose each other. And so firstly I went on that relationship with myself because like I was talking about these different parts and now we're all in alignment and love and they understand that I'll be there for them no matter what. And so I'm really grateful, man, that you've given me this time and space too on your platform with your guest and audience. And I really want to acknowledge that and say thank you for letting me be here and speak and be myself and I've really enjoyed it, man. I really like you and I love your energy, man, and you're free flowing and you're open and I can feel that you're keen to learn and you're just having a good time, man.

Yeah, I think it's, you know, I always say if I finish podcasts, how much fun did I have and what did I learn? Because, you know, for me it's about looking around all these different guys around the world that I've spoken to and sometimes they come off and it might be that you spoke for an hour, hour, two hours, whatever. But even if I've only learned one or two things, you can't expect to learn loads and loads. It's like, what, what's the little things I can take? So. And the other thing I always say at the end is, you know, I know that we're halfway across the world to each other, but I always think if you. If you channel that energy, that one day we will come into each other's existence in person for a. For. For a deep and meaningful man hug.

Yes, definitely, man. Maybe I can teach you one Brazilian jiu jitsu move.

You just give it a chokehold. That will do.

Yeah, man. And show me some animals. I'd love to learn more about animals and nature, like your farm experience too. That sounds awesome.

Yeah, so that's another podcast in itself when you grow up on a farm, but. Right, well, I'm going to go and grab my first proper coffee of the day, dinosaur. I appreciate you at the time, brother, and we will speak to you soon.

Awesome, man. Thank you so much, Anthony.

Thanks, mate. Bye bye. Thanks for listening.

Remember to sign up to our game changing weekly. Weekly E Letter that's read by men around the world. Sign up at homeanacademy.com forward/movement until next time.

I think if you. If you channel that energy, that one day we will come into each other's existence in person for a. For. For a deep and meaningful man hug.

Yes, definitely, man. Maybe I can teach you one Brazilian jiu jitsu move.

You just give it a chokehold. That'll do.

Yeah, man. And show me some animals. I'd love to learn more about animals and nature, like your farm experience too. That sounds awesome.

Yeah. So that's another podcast in itself. When you grow.