EP132 - TEN THINGS TO WIN - ANTHONY ASTBURY | WHOLE MAN ACADEMY

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Okay, guys, this is the Whole Man Academy podcast, episode 132. I hope you've gone back and enjoyed 131 with Jeff Buhner. Really interesting guy. And I had messages from chaps who were like, the manifestation stuff is, is not talked about very much. And some people kind of poo poo the idea. Others think it's something that's, you know, really helpful. So I'd be interested if you've listened to it. What did you think of it? I'm always interested to hear feedback of the guests we have on, no matter who they are, whether you think it's good, bad, indifferent, whatever. So let me know and if you haven't, go back and listen to it because it's a really interesting episode from and a lovely guy, really nice guy, Jeff. So we will be having him back on at some point. But before we jump into the podcast, first off, for those that don't know, we launched a quiz which we've had over 74 men have now taken. And it's for men who feel like a disconnect between how they thought their life would look and how life is going. And what we created was this. The Whole man quiz will give you a whole man score out of 100. And what it do, what it does is it looks at all the different important sectors of your life to become a whole man. And it will look at your, you know, like finance, relationships, resilience, your network, your health, your fitness, your career, all those different things. It will literally take you one minute or maybe just over one minute to complete the quiz. And I will put the link in the show notes, so go and have a look at that. Already we've had Again, I think, 72 guys who work through it. And what it will actually do is not just a quiz to give you a score, it gives you practical, actionable advice immediately on what your different scores are. Now, what that means is, let's say you marked really high in finance. You know, I'm loaded, I've got loads of money. It will give you, let's say high level advice, as opposed to some that said, I'm completely skinned, I've got nothing left, got pennies in my pocket. So the every single bit of advice is kind of when I say organic or it'll be interactive compared to how you answer. So it's not just random jerk advice. It was stuff that you can find really helpful. So go and do that first. Is the whole man academy kind of one of our most important, like free tools to use, including the podcast, the journal, what have you. So go and do that first if you haven't already and let me know the very last question. That is what's going on for you? And I put in it, I can give a fuck what you say. It's important for me to find out what is going on for you as a man. Maybe I can suggest a resource or a tool or someone you could talk to or follow or listen or something that would help you move forward and overcome whatever that challenge is, that silent struggle. So let me know on that. Next big thing was we launched the network, which is why I pretty much stopped doing podcasts a while, because I really wanted to focus on making sure the, the launch of the network, which is our, basically our membership, was, was exactly how I want it to be because it takes a lot of background work. And what was important was, in fact, I'll tell you a quick story. We all know that sometimes, you know, when you launch things or when you start new things, there's always like a little negative monkey sitting in your shoulder being like, no, no one's going to join. No one's gonna be interested in your stupid idea. And much as I had various guys say, I'm gonna join, I want to get involved, still, part of you is like, what if no one does? So on the day it got launched, this is the joys of tech. And I've never been a tech wizard here. But on the day of launch, it went live at 10 o' clock and then at 11 o' clock, I checked my email and I was like, oh, no one's joined yet. But never mind. We know it's a, you know, this is a, this is, you know, marathon, not sprint, as it were. And yet 11 o' clock or something like that, no one had. And then a bit later on I checked again and I was like, like, not a single person's joined. I'm sure someone, one of the guys would have joined. And as I did that, I got a text from one of the first guy that joined saying, hey, I'M in, brother. I can't wait to get started. I looked at my phone, I was like, what the are you talking about? Like, no one's joined. And as I went into my office to check what was going on, I got another text from a guy saying, hey, I've just signed up for a whole year, but I haven't had a confirmation. I like a total bellend, or I guess you only know when you know what you've done wrong. I hadn't realized you had to toggle something that says, you know, send you a confirmation when someone had signed up. So in that first day, we had three guys sign up for the whole year, which was great. And the important thing is here, I wanted all of the guys in the network to be able to know me and me know them. So you don't want 25 people signing up in a few days. Because I can't cope with kind of having zoom calls with them, finding out what's going on for them, where they live, what their struggles are, etc. So it's great. We set a target of 20 guys and we closed it on the end of November, on the 30th at midnight. And by the end of that, we basically had a full network of guys. So that was the first 20 that's including me, who are in there working on whatever they want to work on. And the big thing for us is about them making progress. I don't know, for you, listening wherever you are, what it is you want to work on, what things that you think you need to do to become a whole man. It could be finance, it could be your health, it could be your career, it could be relationships, it could be being a better dad. I don't know what it is. The point is, you can always work on something by guarantee, getting around more men that have the same attitude, intentions as you will be valuable. So we will be opening the network back up. It's now closed for the rest of the year. It will be opening up at some point in 2024. So we will be creating a waiting list which will start when I get my finger out and actually get around to it. And if you're interested in joining the network, firstly start reading our Wholeman journals. But secondly, if you join the waiting list, then you will get notified first as and when it's going to go live again. And then we'll invite you in to come and start working on what you want to work on. And the important thing there is we've now got the 20 guys in there and the complete different range of guys. Some of them are employees that want to start a side hustle. One of them have got big businesses, but they want maybe something to do, something more fulfilling because they've done it for years. Other guys have just got new jobs. They want to make sure they're healthy. Other guys are having babies next year, not men aren't. Aren't having babies because men can't have babies. But you know, they're about to become a dad again or for the first time, and they want to make sure their A game is bought to it. Not that they're like a fat blob and can't cope with maybe sleepless nights and all the pressures. So the big thing for us is collaboration. And already two of the guys in the network have collaborated on, on business together. So it shows they're the opportunities that you need to be sniffing out and look, you know, be open to. So collaboration is good. The other thing is, for all the guys there, we have several zoom calls a month because just being left on your own to work on your own thing I think is one of the big problems for guys. You get motivated to do something and then, you know, on a Monday morning it's back to just you again. So we have regular accountability, which sounds boring, but it's important for men to say, right, what are you working on, what's gone well, what you need to do first, get going on it, and then check in later on to find what's happening, you know, whether you've actually taken action, and if not, why not? So again, that will be launching in 2024. Let us know if you're interested in that. Feel free to ask me any questions. Next one is, of course, coming up to Christmas. I wrote about this the other day. Don't become a slug over this Christmas period. It's so easy. And I know myself after work in the city to, you know, pile on a few pounds with the drinks and the beige food and mince pies and the sausage rolls and the party stuff. Listen, go and enjoy yourself, but don't end up starting, you know, the 1st of January already kind of behind where you are now. You know, make sure you still get in some kind of workouts. I know it's hard in the UK when it's freezing cold in the morning. You know, parts of the UK have had snow, etc. Etc. But there's still no excuse to not do something and try and stay mildly active. And also it's a lot easier to control what you're eating. So if you said to yourself, you know what? I'm going out partying. But the rest of the time I'm going to try and eat as healthily as possible. It might not sound exciting, but I guarantee you don't want to wake up on the 1st of January with a hangover, a fat belly, being sluggish and just being like, I wish I'd have kind of looked after myself a bit more. What you also don't want to do is lose all your gains that you've been making because it's easy to be like, joe, I'm doing well. And then come December, it all goes to. And then again for you, you're like, well, what was the point of all that hard work beforehand? Trying to get in good shape or making progress with a business idea or a new career or something like that? So don't become a slug over the holidays. Try and stay at least a little bit healthy, do some exercise, and that will help you come January when. When the lights come back on and everybody's back to some kind of work. But I wanted to run through today, and this is really important, a list. And I've looked at the guys that are in the whole man, the network, let's call it, and you know what I'd say about them. I wrote a list. There's 10 things very quickly I'm going to go through that I want you to kind of have a think about and pay attention to. And number one is that what I see for all the guys that have joined the network is they're built differently to other guys. And why is that? Because they don't want to just settle, if that makes sense. Some of them have got plenty of money and other things aren't working. Others haven't got loads of money and they're prepared to get up early and stay up late. But we're going to come to that in a minute. But that's the thing. For me, it's those attitudes and intentions. And those guys, I've noticed, have got drive. And I wrote about it the other day in the whole journal where I said, I see part of my job as the whole man academy, like running the network. Part of my job is to activate the drive that's in you because you're all driven to some extent. But I understand life gets in the way. Late nights working. Okay. Now it's hard when you're doing all. All on your own. So for me, it's about activating the drive in you by asking you the right questions, asking you to report in what you have done, what you haven't done, etc. Etc. To get you working on what you know you should do to become the man you deep down know you can be. So that's number one is understanding that you are built differently if you want more out of life because it's so easy to just, let's face it, plod along, which is boring. So don't be that man. But you might be built differently. But also I think it's important to know that you want more. Now more might mean more money, more freedom, more sex, more or less, less body fat, but you know, you want a healthier body, whatever it is that you want. Understand first, I think it's really important to admit you want more because sometimes you can be fooled into thinking that, I don't know, everybody else is settling for just being mund sane and passive and pathetic. You're like, no, no, I'm a man that wants more. And it's same for me. I want more freedom, more money, more opportunities, more excitement, more great adventures with men through the network. So for you, have a think what does more actually, what does that entail? Is it more money? Is it more freedom? Is it, you know, a more fulfilling job? Is it a more loving partner who knows what it is. But the first thing is awareness, understanding what is you want more of and then you can start working on it from there. So you're built differently is number one, understand that you want more. But what is more to you? Number two, number three, you will get people that want you to play safe. And now I get it. It's scary when you're making, you know, making big moves or big decisions, taking risks, etc, and we'll come on to the risks in a second. But it no, in life you don't want to just play safe all the time because you are guarantee you'll look back on, you know, one day when you're on your deathbed or even just maybe you're getting to retirement age and be like, I wasted all those opportunities because it's now it's too late or you know, your kids have left home and you haven't become the daddy want to be. So don't play safe. You know that for me is a wasted opportunity. You've got to assess where you are and take risks and understand again, we'll speak about this in a minute. You know where you want to go, what you want to do. Now number four and I spoke about this on a podcast a while ago, the Better man podcast with Alex Myers, really lovely guy. And if you haven't, that's. I've uploaded that to our podcast things. It's like an hour 45 minute, really good deep dive on a lot of interesting topics and men. So if you haven't, go and listen to that. But I said, you know, at some point you've got to, if you want to get to where you want to be, you're probably going to have to get up early and. Or stay up late. Don't moan about it, don't look for medals because you've got up early and stayed up late. You don't need to post about it online all the time. No one else gives a. But could you say, do you know what? Even if it's one or two days a week, I'm going to get up a bit earlier to get the done. I need to be a workout or working on a business or taking an online course, whatever it is, and also staying up late. Now, sleep is important, we all know that. But if one night a week, and I talked about this on, you know, a few different interviews recently, if you said one night a week, as soon as you get home from work and you've had your dinner or when the kids have gone to bed, you're like, right, for three or four hours, I'm gonna put some earphones on and focus on whatever it is I need to take action on. Educate yourself courses, whatever it is, or even it's just admin to clear from your, you know, your brain space, getting up early and staying up late. You don't have to do it every single day if you don't want to, but at least dedicate maybe one day a week where you're like, you know what? I'm filtering everything out. No social media, getting on with it and getting something fucking done. So number five, the thing about taking risks, now, I know there's that saying, you know, if you risk nothing, you risk everything. And I guess it comes down to calculated risks. Now, how do you calculate it? Only you can do that because you only know what your budget is, what your energy levels are like, you know, you only know what your risks are if you, you know, if you let yourself be too bogged down with what the risks are, at some point, you'll take no action at all. So for you, taking calculated risks is important. And you could say for me, when I left the city, it was a risk. You're looking at guys who have got one business or career and they're looking to do something else that is always A risk. But if you don't take those risks, I guarantee you'll look back in life and be like, I've wasted my opportunity. So taking risk is important. Calculate risk. Don't be ridiculous with what you're doing. But again, only you can know what that risk is and what level of it that you can comfortably live with. Number six is a big one, which is people always question you. I had this with the whole man academy. I've had this with guys I've spoke to on the podcast. As soon as you're trying to do something different, other people will either want to keep you safe, which goes back to playing safe. They won't understand your drive to do something different. And to be honest, sometimes for them, you becoming better can be a reflection of where they're not want. Where they want to be in life. So people always question you. It might be family, because maybe they love you and they don't understand what you're trying to do. But be very clear if you need to to them of like, listen, I want to become a better dad or a business partner, a colleague, a husband, a sportsman, whatever it is you want to be, you. Sometimes having that conversation explain to someone, I'm going to do stuff that you maybe aren't capable of doing, or you don't understand why I'm doing it to become a better man. So important people will question you, but you need to have an answer ready. Number seven is sometimes, and I know this, sometimes you have to go backwards to go forwards. Now, it might seem simple, but, you know, I've listened to guys that have left one career or a relationship, or sometimes, you know, completely changed their life in some way. And on paper, it looks like they're going backwards, but actually they've needed to do that to move forwards. Sometimes it could be a pay cut would probably be one of the big ones where you feel like you're going backwards. And I remember it was an MMA trying to think who the guy was who said he wanted to launch an MMA gym, but he didn't have the funds at the time, so he ended up having to take a. An extra job. And I think it was like cleaning the toilets at another gym or something like that, which, you know, wasn't great fun. And he felt like on paper he'd gone backwards. But that gave him the opportunity and the money to move forward and kind of, you know, develop the idea he had to become the business that he finally created. So, you know, sometimes you do have to go backwards and go forward again. Only you know what that's going to look like. But that links on to leaving your pride at the door. Now most of the guys I would say that I've spoke to on the podcast, sometimes you have to do in life you don't want to do and that might be because you're forced to. I mean, look at the last few years. You know, some people had to wear masks and things at work when they didn't want to because they didn't understand their rights, but also because they wanted to keep their job. So there's never been a more important time to be self sufficient. And I don't just mean growing vegetables, I mean being able to create your own income and not be reliant on anybody else, but leaving your pride at the door. Sometimes to get to where you want to be, you have to do you don't want to do. Now you might see that as taking an extra job or maybe doing, I don't know, some what feels like menial tasks and lower money or something. But sometimes it is important so that you know that whilst you're doing that, you're working towards, you know, a greater cause and that is your fulfillment forward and later in life. So important there. Now number nine is get around others who have the same attitude and intentions. And I've, you know, spoken a lot about this recently because it dawned on me that it's easy to surround yourself with people, but it's not easy to surround yourself with people that want the, you know, want what you want in life, the money, the freedom, the. Even if it is cars and houses and whatever, relationships. And maybe you don't want to drink, you want to be super healthy, get around the right people. Which is why we have the network because all the guys in there are all interested in, you know, having the drive to achieve whatever they want. So get around others with the same attitude and intentions. Which is why I've said before, I don't care what car you drive, what house you've got, how much money you've got, what title you've got. I don't give a about all that stuff. For me it's about do you want to be better and are you prepared to do something about it? Because most people want to be better and they'll do all. And that's very technical. Last one is make sure you're climbing up the right ladder. Now what I mean by that is you can. And I know people that are in jobs and careers that get paid lots of money and on the outside you're like, wow, they're doing really well. And then you talk to them, they're like, I hate it. You know, that's great. But you're pouring all your energy, which, let's face it, you know, we've got limited energy, is pouring into something that you don't want to, you don't want to do. Which is a massive waste of time for me. And I understand because I did it for a while. I look back and I'm like, man, I wish I'd have kind of taken action sooner. So make sure, be it a career or a relationship or whatever, or if you're moving somewhere or you're studying something, make sure you are moving the right direction, climbing up the right ladder, because there's no point in putting all your effort and energy and maybe money into something if it's not really what you want to do. So Those are my 10. You're built differently. You want more. Don't play safe. Might have to get up early and stop late. Bad news. Especially in the winter when it's freezing cold, you're going to have to take risks. People will question you and at least have some kind of answer to go back or just ignore them. Up to you. Sometimes you have to go backwards to go forwards. Leave your pride at the door. Sometimes you're going to have to do stuff you don't want to do to get to where you want to be. Get others around you who think the same and have the same attitude and intentions. Maybe you can join the network when it comes back online in, in 2024. And the last one is make sure you are climbing up the right ladder because there's no point in wasting your time doing something you don't want to do and getting to the end of your life and being like, oh, I've really wasted my time. So that should do for our 10. If there's any of that that resonated with you or let me know which ones resonated most, send me an email Anthony at Holman Academy or comment wherever you're listening to this or watching this. And the last one is remember, if you haven't already, go and take the quiz. It literally take you 1 minute 10 super quick questions but all that advice will help you. You know, it's actionable advice to help you get started to become the man you know deep down you can be. Lastly, just a reminder, the world needs strong men.

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