EP133 - OPTIMISING THE ORDINARY - ANTHONY ASTBURY | WHOLE MAN ACADEMY

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This is the Whole Man Academy podcast. Episode 133. First episode of 2024. So, happy New Year. I hope you had a good time. Mine was eventful at best. Digging holes for chickens to die in, polytunnels, getting ripped open in the wind, flat tires on the way home from London with all the kids in the car. It was. It was interesting to say the least. But let's get started. We've got a lot to get through today and a couple of different things we'll cover. First off, if you haven't already, make sure you fill in the quiz, which is it will give you a whole man score. I think the average score at the Moment is about 56%. Now, what is that? That quiz will go through and evaluate your health, mindset, fitness, nutrition, what else? Your network, all these different aspects and any of those which you might feel you could do better in, it will give you instant, actionable advice on how to improve it, give you three different ideas on how to improve those things straight away. So over 100 guys have taken it so far and for me, it's one of those powerful free tools that can get you started on leading an epic life. So I'll put the link in the bio, as always, or in the comments or in the, you know, the blurb, as it were, and go and do it. It will help you, I guarantee it. Next up, this is what I'm excited about. This is why I've been quieter with doing podcasts. Everything is because I've been so busy with the guys in the network. Now, if you don't know what that is in September. Well, back in early 2023, I had the idea of joining men together and creating some kind of brotherhood or network. Primarily for guys, no, purely for guys, that basically there was some kind of disconnect between how they thought their life would look and how it's going. And they wanted to lead a better life. And again, they wanted to maybe create a side hustle, maybe they wanted to get fitter, maybe they wanted to just get around more guys that wanted them to win and not minch bags who were pissing and moaning all the time and being negative. And this is the big thing about the network. We grew very quickly to 20 and we kept it at 20 for the start of the year, sorry, for the end of 20, 23. And here was the thing. The guys that joined, all of them are very different in the things they're looking to achieve. And some are a little bit similar, but some guys are starting a business, some guys are running a business, some guys are employed and they want to maybe create some kind of side income, you know, in case you got made redundant or something like that. And that's why it's important. The difference between having a group of men who are all collectively working on the same thing is maybe that they've all got the same problem. Whereas if you have guys that have got different, let's call it silent struggles, then you have one guy that will say, listen, I can answer your problem or your challenge or your issue immediately, or I can connect you with someone that can help you, because I've been there and I've done that. So, yeah, we had 20 guys involved. And the cool thing is we've already held a couple of dinners. Some of you listening will have already been to Whole Man Academy events and, or dinners around the country and the ones we held in November for that it was a collective of those same kind of men that all had a similar kind of mindset. And again, that mindset is I don't mind staying up late or getting up early to put the work in, to become the man I know I can be. And that again, might mean for your finances, your health, your body, your business, your relationships, whatever it is. You'd be amazed at how the collective guys getting together can really help. And what does that look like we've been having? Where are we now? I think we've had like 11 mastermind calls, which means usually on a Wednesday or Thursday evening we join together, usually about seven or eight of us, and basically say, like, what's going on with you, what you need to work on, what's priority, what you need to do next? And usually it's the simple stuff like that that works the best. We also ask them to create something where they're accountable in the, in the mornings of a Monday and evaluation on a Friday. And you be surprised or maybe you won't be surprised how powerful that can be for on a Monday. Sometimes when you feel like it's just you, but you've got a Dedicated platform with no fucking pop ups and all that bullshit like Facebook and stuff that the guys post their stuff in and comment on each other, help each other and basically create new connections and new opportunities. So the network reopens depending on. When you're listening to this, the network was closed for a while. We're reopening it mid January. So we've already got a waiting list. I'll put the link below as well. And if you're listening to this after that and it's still open and you want to come and get around, other guys that want to win come and join us. And the important thing there is. Let's go on to talking about events very quickly. Our next Whole Man Academy dinners will be in February, which will be the. I've got it written down. 22 February is in London and 29 February will be back in the Cotswolds. There'll also be a Winchester dinner, but I'm not sure of the date yet. But here's the important thing. The guys in the network, when we had loads of guys want to come to these events, but the guys, the network get the invites first before anybody else. So we will always do it where the network guys can fill up the places. If there's any left, other guys can come along. Because the important thing for us is creating that bond of guys that are getting together that all want to help each other win. The super cool thing about this is in 2024 we're going to do the first of something I've wanted to do for years which is a two day event up in the Cotswolds. Now I wrote about it in one of my E letters. I'm one of these people that comes up with ideas first with no idea of the actual details and then works backwards from there. And that's exactly what I've done with this. It's going to be two days at the end of March up in the Cotswolds. Something between 10 and 14 or 16 men, I'm not even sure. And it's going to be ice baths, cold water immersion of some description. Even if it's not ice bars, fire pits, exercise, long walks, some talks between men, some self reflective exercises. There's been no crying in each other's arms and safe spaces and all that wanky. It is more about guys that want to win getting together and creating opportunities for each other to learn from each other. So again that will be via the Whole man journal. We'll be mentioning all of that. So if you don't subscribe already. Again, just go to our website and get on it. If you. If you're not by now and you'll be listening. What the have you been doing? So that covers the. The quiz, the network, which again is. Is something I'm super proud of and the events. But next one is quick slurp of coffee. Fatherhood. Now, some of you might not be fathers, some of you are. Doesn't matter. The, the life lesson here is important either way. So a friend of mine, brother, Carl Carnahan, who runs a men's. What would you call it, a men's platform, a men's movement in America called Superhuman Fathers. He's been on the podcast, lovely guy, very no nonsense. And he's playing at a very high level at the moment. But here's what's interesting. He shares a lot of his life and on. On Instagram and I always had this lovehate relationship with Instagram or even with social media because I know it's a free tool to reach more men and show what you are doing in life and kind of, you know, connect with people. But also some of you just would like to just delete social media because it sucks your time and you find yourself, you don't ever want to be someone that you're not online just to kind of get other, you know, clicks and likes and what have you, which is certainly not something I'm interested in. But Carl recently shared something where he basically had a go at his kid, one of his boys, for a bad attitude. You know, long story short, but it's been amazing because it just shows you when things go viral, what, what happens. So on an average reel for Carl, I reckon he would get, I know, let's say at the moment 12, 000 views or something like that, which, you know, for a lot of people is decent, but for him it's like, you know, on average between 5 and 15000 views. But he posted this one video of him, you know, having having a conversation with his son. And some might consider it harsh, others wouldn't. Totally, totally depends on you. But at the time of recording, it's had just under a million views already. Now that is growing exponentially, I would say from the other day we looked at it. He's also picked up, I think another like 10000 followers in three or four days. And also that kind of post he usually would get between 5 and 20 comments for per reel on Instagram has had over 2, 000 at the moment. And here's the unsurprising thing, probably a thousand of them are negative, saying, you've done the wrong thing, you're not a good father, you're a pathetic man for being nasty to your child, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the other thousand are saying, I totally get you, I understand where you're coming from. Sometimes kids have got to hear the harsh truths. And it just reminds you, doesn't it, in life that you can't keep everybody happy. But the big thing is for him, he's being completely natural. And it's like for me at the whole man academy, I say what I want, I say what I think, and if people like it, great, they will hopefully come to events, join us. If they don't like it, they can go off and find someone else. So for Kyle personally, I was, I want to go out to the States at some point and visit him. But I love the fact that he came out and said, look, this is me. And if you haven't got kids and you honestly, you can comment by all means, but you don't know what you're talking about. And I know myself. My boys are six, four and what are we now, eight months old. So not the same as him where he's got kids that are boys that you know, older teenagers and what have you. But they test me every day and I don't mean with my 10 times table. I'm talking about the way they act, what they say. And the test for me is about that I forget that they don't know what I know. They can't control themselves. They should be jumping around screaming when they break things. They don't necessarily mean to. If they do mean to break it, they don't do it because they understand the, the monetary value of it, as it were. And kids just need to go crazy sometimes and you are just totally unpredictable. But the thing with that is it's very hard to navigate life when you've got kids. It's amazing. And I've said before, it's the most amazing thing I've ever done. And the hardest is having kids, especially when you've got two boys or now three, but two boys that, you know, I've got unlimited energy, but it's very important not to be. How can I put it? You need to walk, you know, walk a mile in someone's shoes before you can honestly know what it's like because you don't know what's gone before or after the incident that's happened. You don't know what it's like when you're dealing with kids and the silent struggles that men have. Like it could be money or work or health issues or parents are dying or knows what else. The government's taken away some of your income by over taxing you or doing something. Who knows what's going on to someone's life. So before you jump in and offer your opinion, consider do you actually know what's going on first before you offer your two pennif Anyway, the interesting thing for the start of the year for a lot of guys, they're looking for optimization and they're often looking for the certain little hack or the button they can press that's gonna, you know, 10x things. And let's be honest, it's hardly ever going to happen. The boring things are the most important to start with. And again, it's not sexy, it's not exciting. You're not going to hear influencers jumping on about saying, drink more water, sleep more, work out, spend less time around negative people, don't watch the news, you know, eat healthier food, don't drink booze, stop looking at porn, etc. Etc. But those are sadly for most because they want something more exciting. The basic things that if you can't get those right, the rest of stuff's a waste of time. You can't say I'm going to take some supplement or, you know, magical thing if you're still doing all the shit, stuff that isn't going to help you to start with. So big question for you is, is what you're doing in the, you know, in the bedroom, in the, in the kitchen, in the gym, in the home, in the office. Is all of that optimizing or at least moving, pushing the needle the right way? If it's going back the other way, then you've got to question what you're doing with your time. So do the boring things first and then start worrying about all the fancy stuff after it. Now on that we've just said do the boring things. But one of the things that pisses me off when I see on social media is people that say, you know, I'm totally strict on what I do and you know, I'm eating clean and I'm not drinking. That's great, that's awesome. But a lot of people like. And also I don't go out partying. But the sad thing is when you see the young people, I'm like, hell, I spent every Thursday, Friday, Saturday partying when I was young because that's what you're supposed to do when you're Young, you don't, you know, you can still look, you know, look good, go to the gym, eat healthily, don't watch the news of that stuff. But it doesn't stop you from going out partying. So it's no badge of honor. It's a bit like I heard the saying once, was it? It's no badge of honor to say you're the funniest man in Germany, meaning that German people aren't very funny. But it's no badge of honor as a youngster, especially to be on social media saying, I don't party. I mean, don't be a boring muppet. Get out there, party. If you, you know, if you like looking after yourself, you don't have to drink, but at least go out and go mental. Sometimes I've woken up in some ridiculous situations. I've woken up in places where I don't even know where I am or who I'm with at the time. But you know what? It was all good fun. So don't be boring, but still do the boring things. Two more things to go before we finish, but random one, weighted blankets. My partner Emma bought weighted blankets, which are basically blankets you're going to sleep under that have got certain levels of weight added to them, and I think they start like a couple of kilos and go up to like 20 kilos, depending on how big you are as well. And we bought these weighted blankets for the kids a because it's just really good for them. It helps with different things also, like anxiety as well, but it kind of helps the kids feel safe, if that makes sense. When you're asleep, it's like you're being held. And interestingly, only we're only four or five days into our middle child having a weighted blanket. But here's the interesting thing. A lot of times he has nightmares and he'll shout out and he sleep. And other dads listening to this will be like, how it is. Well, it really drains you because you're trying to, you know, have a good night's sleep, especially if you're going to bed late because you're working or you're trying to work out and doing all this different stuff. And then you get woken up a couple of times by little one shouting and having nightmares. And you know what? For what, it'd be five nights in a row now, he hasn't woken up and shouted out at all. So we shall see. I'll keep. Keep informed on that. And I'm talking about it on the whole man journal. Okay, last one. For me, and this is such a big one, when I say at the start of a year, we all know, again, I've said before, it's not a new you, it's always the same you. If you look in the mirror. But you can kind of reinvent yourself. And it is the start of the new year just gives you the opportunity to kind of press the reset button and go, right, you know, whatever I've done in 2023 or two or one or whatever, let that go. But. And one of the biggest things for me is around surrounding yourself with positive influences. Not influencers, but influences. And it doesn't mean you have to cut people out your life, but you just spend less time with them and be drawn more towards people that you enjoy spending your time with that are positive. And that counts online as much as in person. I mean, I've been going to networking events up in the Cotswolds and some of the people there I met and I'm like, don't really want to spend any time with you. Other people, I'm like, I love this guy, I'm going to spend more time with him. And those are the people that make me feel good and give good energy off when you spend time with them. So again, there's always that thing of doing a little bit of audit of the people you spend your time with, either listening to online, be it podcasts, YouTube, you know, whatever, certainly not the news. I mean, just why would you even listen to the news? It's just bollocks. But think about the people you're spending your time with as well. Again, online or offline, you know, out locally or at work or anywhere. Does that person fill you with kind of energy and do you look forward to spending time with him or are they like a mood hoover? Something to think about as you roll into 2024. Anyway, a couple of things to finish with then. Remember to do the quiz if you haven't already. Link will be in the in the blurb events if you can come to them. And you're based in the uk, you're more than welcome, brother. We'd love to see you there for a good food, great conversation, new connections, new opportunities and a man hug. And the last one is, I hope you have a very happy new Year and stick with us. We've got some great guys coming up on the podcast for 2024. Oh, and remember, the world needs strong men.

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