A short walk-and-talk YouTube monologue (Whole Man Academy) about "silent struggles" that men carry. The speaker distinguishes two types: struggles a man knows he has (e.g., dissatisfaction at work, relationship issues) and struggles he may not consciously recognise until prompted. Through mentorship anecdotes the talk shows how recognition produces relief and motivation, warns against common coping mechanisms (alcohol, overwork, social media, porn, etc.), and urges men to address issues quickly. The closing includes promotional notes about a podcast episode and the academy newsletter.
Okay, so for today's walk and talk, we are going to talk about silent struggle. A man's silent struggle, specifically. And what do we mean by that? Well, we've seen through the whole man academy that so many guys. We can split it actually into two types of silent struggle, let's put it that way. So you've got the silent struggle that a man knows he has. So, for example, you might know someone who, a bit like when I worked in the city, maybe you're unfulfilled in your job. Maybe everything else is going well in your life. We know some people that are in a relationship that they want to get out of. I know that myself from years ago. And maybe you're holding on because you don't want to hurt them. Or obviously, kids involved, maybe a mortgage ties, things like that. And also, you know, when you've got kids, of course, it adds a new layer to the complexity if you're with someone and you want to split with them. But also, we had some guys that are in a certain business. I spoke to one a while ago that on the outside you'd say, he's got this business and it's all going well. And actually, when he spoke to me, he's like, I fucking hate it. I'm sick of it. I haven't liked it for years. But yeah, on the outside you'd be like, this guy's doing really well. He's killing it. And that was his silent struggle, like how to get out of, you know, what he's involved with already. But the other silent struggle now. So let's go back to that. You might understand and know people, either yourself or a guy who's got one of those kind of silent struggles. It's kind of, to him is obvious. But the other really interesting silent struggle is the one that a guy doesn't even know he has, or maybe he does subconsciously, but he hasn't actually kind of said it out loud or even in his own head. And I spoke to someone the other day, it was really interesting who, when we did mentorship program and basically sitting down with the guy, you know, going through all the different factors of his life, seeing what's working, what isn't, what he'd like to do, setting goals, blah, blah, blah. All the usual stuff that's really important for a guy. And I could see that there was something. Something there that he maybe hadn't even seen himself. And it's not for me to necessarily tell him what it is. I mean, it's always so much more Powerful when you have that realization yourself. And that ding, light bulb moment. And it was amazing because when he finally realized that there was something that was going on which meant that he really needed to take some action, you could see the, what's the word? Like the relief, firstly from his shoulders, but also like the energy inside to say, do you know what, I need to do this, you know what? I must do this, I need to do that, I need to say this to someone. And I was like, yes, capture that energy, that is exactly what we're looking for and take that into everything that you're doing. But go and deal with that fucking silent struggle as soon as humanly possible. Don't let it fester. And that's what I've seen with guys and I knew plenty that worked in the city as well, or guys I've met through the whole man academy that will just bury that issue. And I understand why, because sometimes it's painful to address, but that issue generally is not going to go away and it is just going to increase the pressure on your shoulders. And then suddenly one day or a lot of the time, guys then go to coping mechanisms and let's list the coping mechanisms. I mean the obvious ones is alcohol for one. Sometimes it's no exercise and it's living an unhealthy life. So it's maybe smoking again, drinking is the obvious one. But then you've got people that actually go the flip side of coping mechanisms and it will be exercising too much and excess in that way. Other coping mechanisms have taught. Of course, these days it's like just mind numbing, social media, porn and what else? There's plenty of other things or just working all the time and not facing up to what's actually going in your life. So it's really, really interesting to understand different guys and what we call their silent struggle. And that hasn't got to necessarily mean, you know, something that some guy is thinking of taking his own life over, but he's just pissing him off. And every day you wake up and even if you're not thinking about it all the time, he is playing in the background of your mind, you know, like, what's the term? Like you know, software that plays in the background of your mind. So have a think about that today. You know, maybe if you have got a silent struggle or maybe if you haven't, you look around you, the people that you work with or your family, or have you just think to yourself, I wonder what their silent struggle might be if they had one. And maybe that would help you tune into the way they're acting, you know, what they're saying, stuff like that. So something interesting to think about on a. What's today? Thursday. On top of that, we've got the podcast with Ada Lee comes out. Well, it actually comes out tonight at 9 o'. Clock. It goes live there, but most people will see it first thing in the morning. Really good conversation, going deep on a few interesting topics. And yeah, that's out tomorrow. And apart from that, the Whole Man Academy newsletter, hello, Very popular, few fans. The Whole Man Academy E letter comes out on Friday and we send out Monday, Wednesday and Fridays these days, comes out at 10 o' clock in the morning, drops into your inbox without fail. I think I've only missed one in about four years actually. And that was again because we had a bloody power cut, which obviously is the overlords getting us ready for all our energy blackouts. Can't wait for that. Anyway, that's about it for now. So I'm going to head back home and finish off doing the last few bits of the podcast and also just enjoy a little bit of sunshine because up in the Cotswolds it is beautiful. It is. I don't know, it's about 12, 13 degrees. Blue skies as you can see. No one's painting those silly white lines over the top and. And it's time to head back and enjoy the rest of the afternoon. So I wish you well look out for the podcast and as always, let me know what you think if you watch it on YouTube or you listen to it on anchor, Spotify, whatever. And the final thing is always to remember that the world needs strong men. Right, I'm out of here.
