How I'm Trying To Balance Creativity With Everyday Life.

Hey, friend. Welcome back to another episode of the Stop the Starving Artist podcast. I almost said that, like, with an Irish accent. I can't even do an Irish accent. That's how crazy that was to me. But it is good to see you here. Thank you so much for joining me today. I'll be honest, I am a little bit, like, dragging right now. I just got out of a whole bunch of consultations. And so I'm in the midst of, like, trying to get back on track and build up the energy here for you guys today. And I thought about full blown, like, skipping, skipping today's podcast. But I was like, no, I'm not going to do it. I'm going to show up and do the deal. Because that's what we're supposed to do, right? But I want to talk about that. That idea of the feeling of I gotta show up, you know, like that feeling just flipping like lives in this spot in our minds and in our hearts that, like, when we're trying to build something, when we're trying to build an audience and we're trying to do something with our creativity, that's different, right? Where we want to stand out, we want to start to make some money doing work that we actually care about. Everybody's telling us we got to be everywhere. You got to be on all the social media platforms, you got to be doing all the stuff, you got to be have the best content, all the things. And so that looming thought burns in the back of our brain that says, you know, if you don't show up today, it's all gonna implode, it's all gonna change. Nobody's gonna show up to the next one. If you don't post that video, then why even do another one if you don't go to the gym, you know, why should you even care, right? And so Ingrid's here in the chat. Hey, Ingrid, she says consistency. And I want to talk about this idea of consistency and how I'm thinking about it right now in terms of my life and how I'm trying to balance this concept of creativity and business and the things that matter the most to me. And I think that that last part is like the thing that really gonna hit on the most here. And I'm gonna talk about some exercises that I'm doing to really try to keep me focused in the places that matter, right? And I wanna remind you guys, like, this is pretty off the cuff. I tried to plan some stuff and I was like, no.

You know, it doesn't matter. Like, I'm Just gonna go for this thing and see what happens. And the reason that I wanted to do that. So it's my, my 7 year old's birthday this last weekend and we were sitting on the couch at the end of her birthday and she said, I just, daddy, I just want to tell you thank you for the best day ever. And I can't even tell you what that meant to me. The fact that she was like so intent on telling me as a seven year old, like, thank you for the best day ever. And we didn't have a party, we didn't have friends over, we didn't do anything, like crazy. We literally gave her, I think, three or four gifts. And like three of those were like articles of clothing. And that hit me so hard with such a weight of, you know.

When we have ourselves in the place of going to show up, but I'm going to show up in the right way and I'm going to show up when it matters the most, when it is the thing that really needs to happen. In that moment, things can change. And I think that the thing that my wife and I talked about, if we just kind of skirt it back to the night before, we were sitting around the table and we had our gifts planned out and she's like, wait, I don't think we have enough. I honestly feel kind of guilty about this.

And I was like, no, no, no, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna do a gift scavenger hunt. We're gonna hide them around the house, like, figure out all the ways that she can come out and find this stuff, right? And she's like, great, that sounds really awesome. Thanks. Let's do this. So we set it all up, write out the paper and we go to bed. And I wake up in the middle of the night and my wife is like feeling all this guilt. Like I haven't shown up for my kids the way I want to. I feel like I need to be doing more. What's happening? And it was just this really intense moment for her. And so I was like, babe, I'm trying to sleep.

That's awful. But in my head I couldn't relate to it. But then what's crazy is I woke up in the morning and was a wreck, like an emotional wreck, feeling the same things. Like I'm letting my. The moment for me is, is I remember when.

We had our daughter and she was like three and my wife was nannying and I remember she nannied a girl that was seven and I was like, oh, well, we've got time. And now seven was kind of the mark where I'm like, we don't have time anymore. Like, things have changed now. The time is very different. And so it hit me really differently. So that whole day I showed up for her, and I approached it in a way that was balanced. I didn't pick up my phone. I made sure that I gave her the attention when she asked for it. And at the end of the day, that's all she wanted, was an opportunity for us to connect deeper and to give her time. And so now, all this week, I've been doing little things with both the girls where I'm like, you want to go to lunch together? You want to do this? Like, let's just carve out 30, 40 minutes to just hang out, just you and me or the three of us or whatever. And my days have felt so much slower and so much more imbalanced. Or imbalanced, not imbalanced. And the reason I tell this story is because I think it's important.

Because we look at all of what we do. We look at the things we want to grow. We look at all these things and we put them in categories of, like, there's the urgent thing that we need to do right now to make sure that we get more followers on our Instagram account or more subscribers on our YouTube channel, or more people on our email list. Like, this is me, right? These are the things that I need to do to make sure that happens. And that includes making content, showing up, doing this live stream once a week, like, you know, doing things on Instagram, like, whatever it is, it's just there's so much that we feel like we need to do. And so that weighs on me. And so all day, I'm balancing my regular job working at a company called Video Creators, where we actually help people with their YouTube channel. So I'm doing that. I'm doing consultations, doing all this other stuff. And then I have to find time to, like, balance that with my own business that I'm trying to build and do things for you guys and, like, make videos and do this other stuff. And then I have my wife and kids and all these other things. And so by the time that I hit five or six o', clock, I'm just exhausted. And I'm like, still in this mode of I didn't get the thing done that I wanted to get done. And if you're like me, you felt that a lot recently. You're like, you either feel like you're Just letting things fall to the wayside, and you don't end up finishing them, or, you know, you're just literally, like, procrastinating and putting it off because it feels really daunting. And then the higher that things pile up, the more daunting it gets, and then the less that you do. Guilty as charged. Right. So we may be falling into a couple of these camps. And so the thing that I'm really trying to do to rebalance and recalibrate is to just increase my mindfulness, because there are things that are important and urgent, and there are things that are not so urgent, but are incredibly important.

And when you have kiddos, there's something that reminds you of life is short. We get very little of this time. And if there's anything that my children do to me, it's remind me that every day I'm getting older, and every day something's changing. And every day I'm reminded, like, life is short. We don't get a lot of this. And so I'm looking more and more recently into this.

The things that are the most important but aren't necessarily the most urgent feeling. But how do we do that and still balance the stuff that we want to accomplish, our businesses, growing those things? I'm going to be honest. I don't know yet. This is something I'm, like, still working on, and I'm doing it very poorly a lot of days. Let's see who's here.

Hey, my name is Louis, and I have a question. Okay, coming into that, Louis, I'm going to get your question, I promise. So please just hang tight.

Yeah, that's so meaningful. And then they know they're important. They are. Yeah. And that's really it. It's like, we just want to. We just want people to.

Just see how important they are to us. We want everything to see the importance that it has in our lives. And I think what we have to do is just start to be more in the moment of whatever's happening. One of the biggest things that I heard somebody say to me, and I have, like, a faith background, and so we were having this discussion about how do we balance this stuff, Because a lot of times, things feel really like, I need to do this, but then it also feels like, does this even really matter? Like, does it matter that I'm doing this YouTube channel? Does it matter that I'm, like, helping people? Like, what does it matter? In the end, I'm just gonna die. I'm just gonna die anyway. These are the dark thoughts that go through my brain sometimes. So I'm so sorry if I'm like TMI here, but this is true. This is what I battle with. And one of the best things that I heard somebody say was, he said. It was my friend Jeff. He said, listen, here's the thing we have to remember. I believe that it is our duty as people to show up for other people. And I think it's our duty to be as in the moment as we possibly can with every intention of being interrupted. We have to be ready for that interruption and understand that in the scheme of life, that interruption may very well be the thing that you are intended to do that day.

That, like, blew the flipping lid off my brain because I was like, that is so true. How is it that when I set aside the fact that I may not get an Instagram post up, but I spend a little extra time with this person to serve them better, or I do something over here to spend more time with my kids or, you know, whatever it is that ends up being the most rewarding moment of the day. And that's the thing that I go and I talk to my wife about or have conversations with when it comes to people later. I'm not talking to people about the fact that I sat down and made 15 pieces of content. You know, like, that's not something that. That I. That I. That I ever communicate. Nobody get like, pardon. Like, nobody gives a shit about that, right? Like, nobody cares that we've sat down and had to plot out all these video ideas and that. Like, you don't really care that I worked to the last minute to publish the video that I put out yesterday, and it took a lot of time and effort to make it happen, and I had to fit it into all. Ultimately, that doesn't matter. What matters is where I come from and why I want to do these things and what's the intention behind all of it. And so I think that that idea of being prepared to be interrupted while also being really mindful of where we're at in the moment is really valuable. And I just loved that sentiment and that thought. And there was also. There's something that I believe. It's the stoics, they think of it this way, where it's like, if you're rushing to the next thing, you're rushing toward the next thing. What are you doing except rushing toward your death? Holy cow. Like, I just realized all my weeks have been going so fast. Like, everything I've been doing, by the time I get to the weekend, the weekend slows down. But the week goes so fast. And why? Because I try to accomplish so much and I put so much pressure on the accomplishment side of it that I forget to slow down and see what I've accomplished. I forget to slow down and accomplish something that means more in that time frame. And it's been just a weight that's on me.

That I just. I just wanted to share it. Mary says it's important for me to remember that it's literally never done. I find myself chasing a finish line that is ever vanishing. So why miss things to consistently rush through that race. Yeah, that's exactly it. Like, it is never done. It's never going to be done. It's never going to be perfect. And this idea of showing up consistently, I think can be something that is malleable. Right where.

Yeah, we should shoot. We should. I should strive to do these at 5pm every Wednesday. But I had a consult that went up to five, right. And I needed to give her a little extra time. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna make this a little later today, right? Because I know that that's my. That's what I'm here to do, is to serve somebody. And I didn't get an Instagram posted today, but I was like, you know what? I'm posting content on the YouTube channel today. I'm gonna get to show up for those people there. That is something, right? So I'm showing up in some way. And then tomorrow the idea is different. Like, you know, I'm supposed to spend the majority of the day watching my kids. And I have to be cautious on those days because I know that my goal is to, like, spend time with them, but I can easily get caught up in the work. But I have to be aware of showing up. And being present in that moment is really important. So I'm gonna give you some things that I've been doing to kind of just, you know, I don't want to go on forever about, like, just me babbling on something. So I'm going to give you some things that I'm doing to be more mindful in the moment to try to make myself more present through my day. And I do hope that you'll find this helpful.

You may hear my children at any given moment. They just walked into the apartment. So the first thing I do every day is I wake up and I meditate. And I meditate for about 10 minutes. And you'll. You're hearing a lot of people talk about meditation. I mean, I feel like I can't spit on YouTube without hitting a meditation video or some sort of person in the wellness and betterment space that's like talking about it. So I'm not trying to pretend that I'm any sort of guru in the situation. It is something I am incredibly passionate about and it's something that I want to talk more about. And it's something that I think is really important to us as people, not because of the act of it, but because of the thought. Starting to understand what it is to be able to focus on one thing in a moment. Starting to be able to not think less, but realize when you're thinking about something. And so that kind of leads me to the second exercise that I do. So I wake up, I do 10 minutes of meditation, and then there's an exercise that I learned that I started doing that I've been sharing a little bit where I literally go around and if I see something, then I'll say seeing. If I hear something, I'll say listening. When I'm doing this, I'm listening, but I'm forcing myself to really listen to it, to take it in and say, okay, this is what I hear. Here's what it is. Here's how I'm processing it. Here's what it makes me think of, right? And then the moment that it switches, maybe I'm feeling something. So I'll say feeling and I'll look and it's like the coffee cup in my hand or I'm literally just stepping on the floor. And the goal here is that me, I'm an incredibly anxious person. So.

I take medication for anxiety. And. And so it's really difficult for me to not get down this rabbit hole of thoughts and self judgment and anxiety. And I had something that kind of happened yesterday that freaked me out. From a bit of a medical perspective, it's nothing anybody needs to worry about. But it's something that for me was like, what's happening here? That anxiety just triggers something and it changes something in me. So reminding myself what I'm experiencing has been huge. And I'm not good at this all the time, but man, it's been a big help. It's been a huge help. So I would encourage you guys to test that. Just try it. And you don't even need to do it all the time. I literally just. If I notice myself getting down this swirling pathway of thoughts, I'll try to remind myself to do that exercise. And that helps. And what I want you to see is that noticing of yourself feeling this like I Got to do this thing. This thing has to happen. That noticing is actually a win, because when we don't notice and we don't address it, we don't think about it and we don't move forward, that's actually the problem. So giving yourself that grace to, like, know, okay, I've noticed this now I'm doing this exercise doesn't need to be perfect. That's actually a huge win for the way that you start to show up and be more present in the day. So that's something that I've been thinking about a lot. And.

The third thing that I've been doing is.

Really trying, and I'm not good at this yet, really trying to be intentional about putting my phone in a drawer at the end of the day. And I've heard a lot of people talk about this, and I was like, oh, that's great. Cute. Like, good for you.

This is really hard. This is really hard for me. And so if I'm not doing it, it's fine. But what I know is that I can get a text, and that text will lead me to Instagram, because I'll see a notification, and that Instagram will lead me to something else, to where I realize I should have posted something. And then I want to do a story, and then I think about my YouTube analytics, and then my YouTube analytics remind me that I need to make next week's video, which then puts me onto notion where I'm thinking about scripting. And. And I mean, I'm telling you, in like, 15 seconds, I've gone through the whole gamut of what should be done by next week. And that is not healthy because I'm not only neglecting that specific moment, but I'm not allowing myself to, like, really give full attention to the things that need to be made tomorrow or need to be made now. Like, those actually deserve a lot more of our energy. And when we're wasting our energy like that, we're literally burning calories. And our energy is a commodity, or it's a resource, rather. So it's something that if we're burning it, if we're burning all that energy, in these moments of just thinking and swirling and going through stuff, even on social media, we're literally taking away from the things that we need to make. So what I found is that on the days that I do really well at this, the next days, I tend to focus better on the stuff that I want to do, and I tend to get more done. And I'll also just allow myself, like, breaks to go for a walk for 20 minutes or just kind of hang out and, like, you know, get out of the apartment. Just kind of, like, do something different.

So let's see. Mary says, yeah, it's a great exercise because so many things that are important to us become invisible. Unless they're specifically. We specifically choose to actively see them. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. And that's really. It is. Like, when I started doing this.

It just showed me so much about my day that I was missing. It's like, holy cow, look at the fricking sky right now. It's incredible. It's there every day, right? But look how beautiful it is in this moment. Like, I just noticed it. I finally noticed something. And we're so distracted right now. I am. Anyway, maybe you're not. I don't know. So then the last thing I did. I'll show you this.

So.

I heard this recently. And this, like, honestly, I get kind of emotional just thinking about it because this has been the crux of, like, a lot of what I'm thinking about right now and what I'm really trying to figure out. And it's as simple as this statement. So I don't know if you can see it.

Let me see. It kind of went away.

So it says right now it's like this. So if you're just listening to this, my phone has a screensaver that says, right now it's like this. So what does that mean? Like, when I screw up and I don't do the thing I want to do, or.

When I know that I should have gotten more done, or when I know that things seem scary in my life, but, you know, it may not actually be something that's happening, or I'm going down this, like, trail of, like, what I should have done, what I could have done, what could be better. Right now, it's like this. And that's been.

So important to me recently. Like, I can't even. This is only within, like, a week and a half that I've been thinking about this. But. But it's made these times where I'm just sitting in my chair and.

I'm like, again in that rabbit hole of like, okay, I gotta do this thing. I gotta grow my business. I gotta do this stuff. And I look over on the couch and my kids are sitting there, and one of them's telling me some gibberish story that I don't even understand. But I'm like, right now it's like this. This is what it is right now, and this is incredible. Because just, like, the stoic idea of, you know, if we're just rushing to the next thing, what are we doing except rushing to our death? And I know that may seem dark to some people, but I actually find it incredibly beautiful. And I don't talk about this much, but my. I want to talk about it more because my goal is to get to this place of, you know, feeling completely comfortable, that if somebody told me, like, hey, dude, you got a day left, that I would just be fine. I'd be like, okay, cool. I did it right? And that to take it back to the story I told in the beginning that I told my wife at the end of that day, that was the first day in a while where I was like, yeah, today I would be fine with it. And I don't hit it every day, but some days I do. And so I try to take those as wins and just keep moving forward. So I hope this is helpful for you guys.

Yeah, I don't know. There's a lot there. I know this is a bit of a heavier topic, so forgive me for that. I hope that it's cool. I do want to make sure that I hit this question here. If anybody else has any questions, then please feel free to ask them in the chat. I'll take a couple seconds here, or minutes if necessary, to answer these questions. So Lewis says, I have a question. I'm really interested in becoming a musician, but I have never created a song of my own. It's just so difficult to create something out of nothing. Any tips? It's not that difficult to create something out of nothing. It's difficult to live up to our.

It's difficult to live up to our influences. I don't want to say expectations, because I think expectations are set from our influence. Right. What are the things that we look up to? That's difficult. It's difficult to create something that lives up to our influence. It's not difficult to create something out of nothing. And I would encourage you to get more and more comfortable with that idea. This is something I'm trying to figure out how to go back to. You know, I've been listening to more, like, ambient music and different kinds of things that are a little left of center from the mainstream thing and. And wanting to do more work sort of like, in that realm. And so that's been a big thing for me is like, how do I incorporate that into this, like, into this brand or this idea of helping creatives? And I know that it's a part of it somewhere. I just don't know exactly know. I don't exactly know where yet. So I struggle with that too. But I would say the more comfortable that you can get with making things. And just like we talked about right now, it's like this right now. It's not perfect right now. It just is like this. And it's going to get better and it's going to continue to move forward.

Don't worry so much about those unrealistic expectations of meeting our influence, especially in the beginning, because it just isn't going to happen. As a matter of fact, the more that I think about creativity and like anything that really works and connects, it's not about how much it's like something else. It's how do you tie that thing to the person that's viewing it or seeing it or hearing it. Right. So I hope that that makes sense.

Acceptance is the key to all my problems today. Absolutely. Yeah. As we say in aa. Yeah. That's so good. So good. Cool. Well, Louis, I hope that that was helpful. All of you guys that are watching here, I hope that this has been helpful to you. Those of you that are listening afterwards, I hope that this is helpful to you. Please let me know in the comments how you're feeling. What are you doing to stay mindful? What are you doing to be present in the moment? What are you doing to balance and seek balance in your life and in your work and those things that matter the most to you? Because I think it's important that we do that because otherwise that's when burnout starts to happen. That's when we start to.

You know, feel that sense of other people start to get in the way. I'll say it that way, where if we feel this constant urgency and we can't meet it, then all of a sudden something has to be blamed for us not getting it done. And sometimes that ends up being the people that we care the most about. And that's a place we need to be cautious of. So being mindful, being in the moment, please let me know how you guys are dealing with that. Sending you guys tons and tons of love. And thanks so much again for showing up. And yeah, Lewis, glad you came. Thanks so much. Please come back. Bring a friend.

Free admission every week. Wednesday is about 5pM Central Time. And I will see you guys next time.