Dr. Fern Kazlow on the Psychology of the 1% and the Life-Changing Magic of Not Fitting In

Welcome to Make More Marbles. My name is Brad Hart, and we're here to interview the game changers, the future makers, the co collaborators and creators who are here to collaborate with one another towards a better future for all of us. Enjoy the show. We've got a great guest coming up for you right now. Welcome to Make More Marbles.

My name is Brad Hart, and I'm.

Here today with Dr. K. Dr. Fern Kaslow. Thank you so much for being on the show.

Oh, thank you for having me. I'm excited to join you.

Absolutely. We were just chatting a little bit. Turns out we're both from Long Island. We both went to Stony Brook for a minute, so that's super exciting. And you're up in Westchester now.

I'm in Westchester now. I'm a city girl. My heart's in the city, but I'm living in northern Westchester. Lots of land, lots of animals.

I love it. I used to live in New York City myself for about eight years. So that time in my life, thankfully, has passed now. Sunny San Diego, California. Encinitas is where I call home.

That's my second favorite. New York City or San Diego, Encinitas. Two favorite places.

It's really a beautiful place. I'm looking right at the ocean right now. You know, I've always been around water my whole life. You know, waiting river is very close. And I really am grateful whenever I can see the ocean. And this is what I intended, and here it is. So it's a beautiful thing. And you talk a lot about in your work, you know, the power of getting through obstacles, about not accepting stories of limitation and lack. Can we kind of bring people up to speed for maybe those that haven't heard of you or seen you on various shows you've been on, you know, what's been your heroine's journey so far and what lands you here today?

Okay. Being an entrepreneur forever. I really. It started, you know, one of those. One of those way, way, way, way back when. I think that the entrepreneurial gene is probably something we're born with, and it comes out in people in different ways. So for me, it came out pretty clear in second grade. And I know it sounds really funny, but I was a disruptor and I had a big mouth all the way back then. So I was in second grade back when, I don't know if you remember, when the teachers used to actually hit the boys.

Oh, the nuns. I had some of that. We were kind of phasing it out.

Not even the nuns, the teachers. So I was back in Second grade, where they would paddle the boys. Lucky. When I tell you the story that I wasn't a boy, I think this is one place that gender discrimination really worked for me. But I had this teacher, and there was a little girl in the class in the days when you used to call kids retarded. Remember that? And so she was called retarded. And this teacher did not have the temperament. She didn't have the skills. She didn't have anything. And she was really. She just ignored her. She ignored her and my big mouth. I kind of watched and watched, and one day I could not watch anymore. And I opened my mouth and I said, you can't do that. You can't ignore her. This isn't right. And I think if I was a boy, I would have been paddled as a girl. She was just. She was outraged, and she didn't know what to say. So after her jaw dropping, she kind of said, okay, if you think you can do better than me, she is now yours. And every day after class, you do your work, which is fine because it was kind of boring. And she said, then you help her. And after that, the school started sending me other kids. So that turned into the beginning of my private practice, which morphed into a therapy practice and consulting business and a holistic health center and all of that. So on the one hand, there was the entrepreneurial journey that started way young with my big mouth. But the hero's journey, I think, is more something that speaks to. It looks different for different entrepreneurs, but I think there are similarities. And I think some of the similarities are that we always. We're different. We're different. We don't fit. We're different. In fact, when I was in high school, they asked me if I would leave early. My parents said no, they weren't having me. I'd already been skipped. And my parents were like, no, you're not going away to college at 16. Sorry. But they were like, could you leave now, early? You're causing too much trouble. And I think that's probably a lot of entrepreneurs in schools would like to get rid of them. And I think we see that more with the boys than with the girls, but it's there. So I was born with two things that ended up really working for what I believe my life's work is about. One is that I didn't fit. I was in a family. I had a mother who wanted a daughter who wanted to be a housemaker and cook and clean and do all that kind of stuff. Like, she did wrong kid for that. And I was also born with a lot of health challenges. So two things that really fit together because I've really always worked with business and mind, body and holistic approaches. So on the one hand, that being different is something we see in most entrepreneurs. And we can make up different stories about it, and we can make up a story that crushes us or crushes us for a while, or we can make up a story that kind of gets us a little bit on that high horse, you know, the big mouth kid from second grade. And when my mother would say, who the hell do you think you are? I kind of had an answer. Wasn't an answer she liked, but it was definitely an answer. So there was the who the hell do you think you are? But I understood different. And it's been interesting because in a therapy and a consulting practice, you hear little kids and adults describe their experience of being different, being weird, being not like everybody else. And you just hear it from the time they were really, really young and then having a lot of health challenges, I got to see that traditional approaches just only went so far, if they worked at all. And often they made things worse. And a lot of my health issues were issues that I had because of drugs that I was given. Either my mother took them before I was born, or I took them when I was a kid. And so it made me really stretch, which was fun because as an entrepreneur, innovation was what I loved. I always liked being kind of out of the box. And so back when it was, you know, today we look at mind, body, and mind, body, spirit, and kind of all shake our heads, like, of course. But when I started doing it, it was like voodoo. It wasn't like, of course. And so that's really where it started. It started from being this entrepreneur who, even when I had a therapy practice, grew it super fast because I was a marketer who then took it to the next step of a center. Had one of the first holistic health and business centers in the country in New York City. And then really was always looking at, what is it that's going to help people to move past what they thought were real limitations? I never perceived them as real. I kind of call them flaw fake limitations. Appearing real, they're fake. You know, we make them up, they're fake. And so same as, we can make them up, we can unmake them up, but when they get really strong, they become like trances and they get much harder. And the typical approaches just don't cut it. And the entrepreneurs pose extra challenges and so that's a little bit of the journey. It's still the journey. I've had a lot of challenges. I had an accident a number of years ago that you can kind of tell, even though we just met, that I'm somebody who moves a lot and does a lot, and, you know, if I slow up like that, kind of like you, like an entrepreneur. And I had an accident. I don't really call it an accident. It was kind of an event, a major event. And it resulted in many years and many surgeries. Eight surgeries since then, and a couple of years of not walking, except a little tiny bit. It was quite a learning. And so I learned to understand more about what I had always been able to push through. So it was harder for me to understand when people couldn't do something. So it gave me some real understanding of couldn'ts. You know, I had an arm that was like this across my body for four years. I couldn't straighten it out. Okay, now it's like, almost straight, almost perfect. So I got to understand some things, but it's been a journey, and it's been given me some very important pieces that could have crushed me, but I guess they couldn't have been who I am. And so I really. One of the things I always do is I say, and I even said it in the hospital that very first night. It was really bad, and I was in a lot of pain. And I remember lying there and saying, okay, how am I going to use this to grow me and my patients and my clients? And that was from the very first night. And I know that sounds kind of crazy right there. I was drugged up, a little bit hallucinating, and I'm talking to the nurses about how can I use this to grow me? And that's really, I think, a big part of how I got through.

So you're making a meaning out of your pain immediately. You've already conditioned yourself to be like, okay, what's the good in this? See it as it is, better than it is, and then go from there. And I really resonate a lot with some of your stories. Because I was the guy who was asked to leave high school. I didn't end up leaving, but I remember coming back about two or three years later after I graduated. I just came back and I'm walking around, and I noticed that my earth sciences teacher is sitting at a desk in the hallway. So I walk up to her, I said, what are you doing out here sitting at a desk? She's like, oh, yeah, we all have hall monitor duty now because you used to wander around the halls all the time. So now we all have to do this.

That. You know, that's very. It's funny because I was thinking about our interview last night, and I was thinking about how I was asked to leave school when I was 16, and then I went back as a consultant to the school district, and they asked me to leave again.

They said, you're just not meant to go to school. I don't know.

Yeah, they told me, like, I think you should go do your own thing. And I said, you know, I think you're right. And actually, that was the last time I ever worked, even as a consultant for anybody else. I went cold turkey. Not something I recommend for most people. Definitely not for the faint of heart. It was the right thing for me. And I went from consulting, and I was adjunct faculty at Columbia and tc and I had my practice. But as long as I was doing everything, as I did it, 100%, 100%, my practice couldn't grow in line with my vision. So when they said it was one of those moments when they said, we think you should just go do your own thing, and it was like, yeah, right, I get it.

You know, I've had plenty of jobs and gone down roads with partnerships and different companies that just never quite fit. And it's almost as if life is just kind of giving you the pain you need to shift you into the person that you need to become so that the things you've always wanted and desired, even though you can't even imagine what they'll look like when they show up, they start showing up. So it's almost like you're getting pushed out into the world to create what you always wanted. Has that been your experience even now?

In some ways, it's always been my experience. And I was listening to one of your interviews where you talked about that, you know, feather going to the truck. You know, trucks full of bricks. Trucks full of bricks. Trucks. You know, for me, one of the lessons that has been really strong and that I teach is about self trust. And I think for entrepreneurs, especially when on the one hand, we kind of really know something, on the other hand, we're different, we're weird. Now people try and medicate us, actually with real drugs, but there are so many ways that people medicate themselves without drugs. You know, food, sex, rock and roll, and just turning the body off, really turning the body off so that the pain of what they're going through becomes manageable. So one of the things that I always look at is that a lot of times we are really making these micro decisions to not live. It's not what we're meaning to do, but in effect it's what we end up doing. And one of the things about my event was that when I got hurt, it was very interesting. Everybody wanted to assign a meaning to it right away. And I slipped on an icy speed bump. And so they said, ah, see, God is telling you to slow up. And I said, they don't call it a slow up bump, do they? I said, maybe God is telling me to speed up. But I knew that the message wasn't going to be clear for a long time. And just in the last year or so I've gotten more pieces and I suspect I'm going to always get some pieces. But one of the pieces is self trust. And the way I fell was pretty interesting. I'd gotten out of my car, I had just come back from doing a mentoring program that I was teaching in la. And I got out of my car, I was going to the movies with my daughter. And you know how you kind of second guess yourself and see, did I lock the car? Well, I turned around to see if the light went on when I clicked that remote. And in that split moment I went down. Split moment. And so one of the things that I realized was that if I had trusted that I always lock, I came from a very obsessive father. I always lock the door.

Okay, New Yorkers, California people don't get it. We lock doors.

This is what we do, right? We don't, we don't need to check them. We lock doors, we check the stove, we do all those things at night. So I knew it, and yet I still turned around. And in that moment, this little speed bump with black ice snuck up on me. And in a split second I was down. And I had had a huge media blitz scheduled for January and February and March and everything changed in an instant. And it was really about looking back instead of where I was going. I turn around, I look back and I didn't trust myself. And so that along with what I learned from not being able to walk and I literally could not move at all for months. I couldn't move side to side. I was really, that was, you know, that was it. But one of the biggest lessons was one that I get repeatedly, and I think a lot of entrepreneurs get faced with is trusting yourself, you know, and it's a balance of taking, seeking advice, seeking a mentor, working with people who are wise and have your best interests but ultimately knowing how to go inside and trust yourself.

Yeah. It's funny that, you know, we always. I never could trust my gut for a long time. And I'm only now in the last, I don't know, four or five years since I quit drinking, been able to really tune into that and that emotional quality and then be able to separate what's other people's stuff and what's actually my stuff I got to work on. But having that feeling of like, this isn't right or this isn't the thing, or I'm not trusting this. And then you find out later why, like it's this gut instantaneous, you know, and then you kind of piece the pieces together later on. It's like, oh, that's why that person was totally squirrel. Right? Or that situation was totally the bad news. And you find out much later. But it's like we don't trust in that moment that we have our best and highest interest taken care of.

And that's one of the things I try and do with people, is teach them to really tune into it so that they don't wait. Later, later. But it's almost even before you even get the impulse, you know, what's making you stronger or what's making you weaker. Because when I work with somebody, it's not just about the cognitive process, the mind, it's not just about the body and it's not just about the energy field around you. And all of those things are impacting. So to get you to be a really fine tuned instrument so that you're open, you're intuitive, you're stepping into your full power and you just, before you even know, you know.

Yeah. So let's talk about that journey a little bit. Because you talked about pharma and some of these kind of rabbit holes you've gone down how that wasn't for you. Obviously, I tend to agree with the Western versus Eastern philosophy. Like I'd rather fix the root of the problem versus just put a band aid on it. And it's like we haven't cured anything since polio. What's going on here? You know, we want to give everybody a pill every day for the rest of their life. And I truly believe that if the incentives were different, then we would cure some of these things. So can you speak to a little bit about your experience with that and.

What'S shifted as a, you know, that's been, you know, I grew up in a family that was about medication. I grew up in the days when cortisone was the miracle drug. So I took it pretty much every day for 20 some years.

Wow.

Yeah, a long time. And a lot of the issues, as I've said I've had since then, have been the cause of having cortisone or a drug that my mother took. It's not to say that there isn't a place for medicine. Look, when I, you know, shattered my body, I needed surgery. But that whole way that we look at things as the symptom, not getting to the core. To the core, the core cause, is huge. And it's not just about physical illness, because physical illness is just one manifestation. For me, one of the fun. One of the fun things is that the problem that somebody comes in with is almost never the core problem. So people are willing to pay for business. Okay, I do the same thing. This is secret. I do the same thing. No matter whether somebody comes in and they say, I've got cancer, or they come in and say, my business isn't as big as I want, or my business is great, but my relationship sucks, or my business is great, but I'm just dying inside. I'm just disconnected. It's always the same. It's always a sign of disconnection, and it's almost never about what somebody brings in. So when you go into the doctor, they do kind of treat those symptoms. And, you know, the sad thing is that when we go into a coach, most people treat the symptom also. And it's one of the things I want to say about the 1 to 4% that's kind of, you know, makes them a special group. For me, the only way you're gonna. You're gonna work effectively and transformatively is to get to the core. And the core isn't. It's almost never what's being presented. And a lot of people try and either ignore that and they treat the symptom. And so you treat one symptom and one symptom and one. So you fix one problem in your business and another one and another one and another one.

It's like whack a mole. You know that you never actually get to the core.

You never get to the core. And the other thing is that you don't get to the core. And people try and bash resistance. Okay? They want to push through resistance. And to me, the gold is in the resistance. The gold is in the resistance. So when somebody comes in and is resistant, I'm really excited when I can see it. When they can see it, we can work with it. I don't want to bash through it because that's the same as the cortisone I was given every day for years and years and years. That's going to cause another problem because it really is our. We're just screaming out to resolve the deepest core, but we don't trust and we're smart. So it's not that we're doing this because we're sabotaging. Everybody talks about self sabotage. I'm not a big buyer into the self sabotage. What I believe is that people do what they do because it's the best they know how to do in that moment. And even if it looks like a self sabotaging behavior, they're doing it because they don't know a better way. So always look at what are you trying to accomplish. And this may not be the best way. And as somebody gets more comfortable, more confident, more trusting, as I can bring someone into what I call the no doubt zone, then they can let go of that resistance. And if we talk about the top 1 to 4% of entrepreneurs, when I got a call from your office and I said, or an email and I said, what was it that interested Brad in talking to me? They said, well, you work with the top 1 to 4%. And I want to talk about that group because there's something very special. I mean, for one thing, I just love, I love working with them. They're smart. I like working with smart. They're action takers. I like action takers. Second thing is, it gives me a lot of impact. The more people that I can work with that are big impactors, the more impact I can have. The other thing is, and I know you're going to recognize this in you, as I do in me. They're very sneaky. And so I'm calling you sneaky, Brad.

How so?

How am I sneaky?

I'm a little angel. I got panda bears and penguins. I'm adorable.

So. Yeah, you are that too. So here's the deal. The very gifts and talents that get them to be in the top 1 to 4% now are keeping them from going further. And you know, Marshall Goldsmith said it really well, what got you here won't get you there. But with the 1 to 4, it's even more confounded and compounded because exactly what they do not only keeps them from getting someplace else, but enables them to hold on. And it makes, when they work with a coach or a mentor, it makes it much harder for anybody to help them because they're so good at it that they either bring the coach into their trance, or they convince the coach that they can't be helped, or they do the whack, a mole. And then they go from coach to coach to coach to coach. By the time people have come to me, I can't tell you how many people have been, you know, every place. And that can be with a physical illness or more, you know, more likely it's been with business issues. They've gone around and around and around because they haven't gotten to what's at the core. And the top 1 to 4% just do it better than anybody. Do you recognize that?

I've got a great example of this in my life. I have somebody who's about 13 years older. I don't want to give away too much info because somebody might put the pieces together. But, you know, seven figure earner, great job, corporate job, you know, it's just so successful in that realm and crushing it on all fronts. Except won't do any work on himself because nobody really will sit him down, say, hey, you're screwing up the other areas of your life, and these are the pieces that you could do work on. And it's inconsistent because it's really easy for him to escape into that success. And he's very highly regarded. But I just wish somebody could get through to him, be like, hey, there's other pieces that you're kind of overlooking here. As smart as you are, and as much as you can do the Jedi mind tricks and get everybody to stop paying attention to the real problem, they see it and they wish they could help you.

And, you know, it's not so easy. I mean, one of the things that people say to me. What do people say to you when they come to you? And one of the things that I'm most proud of is that people say, you get me, you get me. And so people generally have their way of working. And one of those is kind of saying to somebody, you know, like, hey, look, isn't it obvious you're doing great here, but your life sucks here. Different people, you need to go in different doors. So sometimes with people who are super in their head, you need to use their head to disarm their head. Sometimes you need to use their heart. Sometimes you need to go to the trauma in the tissues and you need to release the trauma sometimes. You know, it's one of the things that's got me a little bugaboo. I have a few pet peeves. And one of them is, I really like that people are looking at mindset, but it's A double edged sword. And the reason is that we've got people and we're talking about entrepreneurs and top entrepreneurs, although I think this is true of most of them. And they already feel different. They already have a lot of questions. They're already bucking the world and bucking trends. And now we say to them, change the way you think. And so the ones who can are almost there already. Then there are others that change for a little while or change a little bit and then they're back not only where they were, but it's like antibiotic resistance. If we want to go back to the drugs when they come back the next time, now the defenses are even stronger. And so when you say change somebody's mind, you can't just go in and say it unless they're almost there. You've got to go in and see what are they defending and what's the doorway for them. So I don't know this person and we're not going to try and guess who it is. But you need somebody who's willing to disarm them and really go in another door and find the way that they're willing to trust you. But it's not usually by saying, I have, you know, you have to do that, you have to do that. You have to meet them where they are. And I saw a wonderful tape once of Ernest Rossi, who worked with Milton Erickson. And it was a tape of a woman who had gnarled hands. This was just amazing. And so first he gnarled his hands like hers and he followed her hands hadn't been opened in years. And so he started where she was doing what she was doing with his hands closed and gnarled. And over a 20 minute session he got her to follow him and she opened her hands.

Oh my God, that's wonderful.

Yeah, it doesn't usually happen in 20 minutes, but it was just the most incredible thing to watch. And we usually want to be right. There's a lot of ego involved. And so people, and we see it sadly in a lot of coaches. And now everybody's trying to say, you know, I'm the coach, I'm the best, I'm this. And you know so much fake stuff. You know, you can get cured in 20 minutes, which is pretty rare. Almost never not saying she was cured either. But you've got to start with that person. You've got to be with them, not with you. It's about them. Not it's not about you, it's about them. It's like once they walk into your phone, your computer, your office, whatever it is, your world, it's then about them. Doesn't mean that you abuse yourself, doesn't mean you work hours, you don't want to work, but you get your stuff out of the way. And it's one of the things. One of the best things that I bring with a background in clinical psychotherapy to my work as a mentor is that I understand resistance and I understand transference and I understand how to keep my crap out of it. And that's years and years and years of working. Because you said on one of the things I heard that you had about 650k into mentoring. And I'm probably right up there with you. And one of my pet peeves is all of the people who are out there and being encouraged to call themselves an expert with very little training, very little success. And in the therapy world, we call it supervision. In the business world, we call it coaching and mentoring. They're not getting that. And so they're not keeping their stuff out. And they tend. People tend to apply. What worked for me works for everybody. So if I went on one diet, if paleo or keto was great for me, it's great for everybody. If being a vegetarian is great for me, everybody needs to be a vegetarian. If doing meditation worked for me, it's for everybody. And it's not. Whatever it is, it's not. So it's getting out of our own way and really being in the world of a client.

I love that you bring that up because that's something I've been railing against. And for 10 years I've been trying to fix the problem of why is this successful person that gives me great advice? And I know worked for them giving me the same advice. And it's not working for me. It's because we're all different. We have different strengths. It's like, you know, if you're an ideas person and somebody says, just come up with a new idea, or if you're really good at making money and somebody's like, just make more money, what's the problem? Have you ever met somebody who had like $350,000 in their bank account and no idea what to do with it? Because they just print money, it's really easy for them. And you're like, what?

What is that about?

You know? And I finally got this hacked and licked. It's called Wealth Dynamics. And I geek out about it all the time. So if anybody wants to know, just hit me up. But I totally get that. And you have More experience than I do as far as the clinical side. But as far as that piece, I've dialed in so deep into that, and I really get it. So I really appreciate you bringing that up because the same solution is right for everybody.

I was, you know, looking at some of your stuff, and I really appreciated that you do get that, because it's true. When you work with somebody, someone comes in for business mentoring, I gotta say, you've got to look at their food. Got to look at their food, because their food's affecting their brain. But my food is not necessarily their food. And you've got to look at what they're willing to do. So I may say, wow, their diet is causing them crazy inflammation. It's making them whack off the walls. And I may have to say, I think diet's really important. But you know what? If I start there, they're going to be out the door. It's going to make them crazier, it's going to make them more resistant. So you have to look at what they're like, what the doorway is, what they're willing to do right now. And if you listen, people are going to tell you. But it takes real listening, real training. There's a lot of people who are great, but one of the things you see if you look is that not just that people choose a certain kind of people, they're often goodwill only certain kind of people. And then the bad part about that is not only have people parted with a lot of money, they've wasted a lot of time, but they tend to blame themselves. And we teach them to blame themselves. We say, oh, you didn't hustle enough, you didn't work hard enough, you didn't piss enough. If you were a better client, if you were a better student, you would have learned.

We play the blame, shame and guilt thing because it's easier for us to dissociate what's not working versus actually owning that, hey, maybe we just don't have the answer here. And I'd rather make a referral at this point in my career to somebody who I feel I might be able to serve somebody better. And I think this is great advice for anybody listening. It's like, you don't need to be everything to everybody. Stop trying to be that.

It's ridiculous and you can't be. And it's interesting. It's like everybody has 100% responsibility. It's not 50, 50. It's not 50, 50. It's 100% and 100%. And when you get that, and you get that. I always say, the jig is up. The jig is up. You really are responsible. Doesn't mean you can do it all now. And it doesn't mean that we want to go into the personal blame game. But I, as the mentor, am 100% responsible. I'm not responsible for you. I'm responsible for me. You, as the client, are 100% responsible for you. If you get that, then you're going to have crazy different results. And if you know when to refer out, you know, I do a lot of great things with messaging and marketing. That's why I grew my center so quickly and I grew my practice quickly. But that doesn't mean that I'm the person you should go to for Facebook ads, right? Please don't. You know, please don't. In fact, I took. I was part of a mastermind years and years and years ago with Perry Marshall. And I remember Perry, when I first filled out the application, they turned me down. He said, you know, he said. And I went up to him, he said, well, we don't usually turn people down. He said, I've never had anybody fill out the application like this before before. I said, well, I'm not interested in learning all that techy stuff. I'm not a techie person. What I want to learn is what my clients need to know so I know who, when, and how to refer them. And he said, oh, come on in. And what was fun is that I was kind of the weird one out at that point. This was about 12 years ago. And then a whole bunch of the people in the mastermind came to see me for sessions to, you know, to get to that next step. But I came in saying, no, I'm not going to do what you do. I'm not going to do that. But I want to really get it. So can I help with marketing? You bet. People say, why is a therapist doing marketing? Because who understands relationship or communication?

Because everybody needs to market and sell.

Everybody needs.

It's service. It's the broadcasting of a message and it's the help. It's the ability for people to make the right decision through your kind service to them. That's it.

And people always are like, selling, selling. I don't want to sell. Well, you don't want to admit that you're always selling. You're always selling. It's just that you don't want to do sleazy selling. You don't want to be doing manipulative selling, but we're always selling. Marketing, communicating. And I think that when we're not doing that, we're not connecting, then we have that void. And people, you know, whatever problem it is to, to me, the core problem always comes down to people don't know how to get into the state that they need to be in, to know what they need to do, to know what they want, what they need to do to create and then to sustain. And when I say sustain, I don't mean sustain like a straight line, because that doesn't happen, but it's sustaining in a line of reality where you kind of go up, you can't go down, but you stay connected to your purpose. And so to me, that's what the no doubt zone. And bringing entrepreneurs into that zone, you don't want them to get distracted and think that their problem is that they're diabetic or that their funnel is not as effective as it needs to be. It may not be as effective as it needs to be, but if they're aligned, then they're going to get their funnel to be exactly what it needs to be. Whether it's one step or like however many they want to have, if they're clear, they're going to know how to create that in the way that.

I love that. Dr. K. And I just wanted to say I'm so grateful for having you here and for kind of giving us a perspective on some things. We got a little bit more time, so I want to ask you one or two more questions. My first question is, I mean, do you consider yourself somebody who's an expert at peak performance as well? Is that where you kind of put yourself? You know, you talk about the 1 to 4% that you love to work with, and then who do you feel is also doing a really great job? Because I like to give credit where credit's due. You know, I'm a big Tony Robbins fan. For example, I take tons of people at Tony, we brought 47 people. The last Tony Robbins event, we're bringing 100 people, the next one in March. Who you really look up to in this space and want to emulate more.

You know, it's a great question. I think that who I look up to really depends on what I'm looking for. Tony Robbins has done amazing, amazing, amazing things. Brendan is doing. Brendan Burchard is doing amazing things in the arena that he's doing now. Is he doing what we're talking about? No, he's doing something very, very different. But it's, it's incredible. And you've got people that are. It's funny because I was just thinking about this with somebody like, who is reaching the masses. So not only the, you know, that. That little group, but who is reaching out to bigger numbers. And Brene Brown, a lot of people really loving what she's doing.

Her work on vulnerability changed my life, by the way.

Yeah. I mean, there's so many, you know, so many people. So when you say peak performance. Yeah, I do consider that, you know, that is that 1 to 4% are in that. But I also, I've been thinking a lot about 1 to 4% and I want to say 1 to 4% is not just about money. A lot of times we think when I say the top 1 to 4% of entrepreneurs and the 1% is different than the 4%, okay, the 1% that come to me, it's usually their business is going, but they're just burnt. Their just body is like slammed or they're disconnected or their marriage is not good, or they've had three heart attacks. The 4% usually is something more they want to do in their business. And there's also a skill level that you're talking about there. Also. One of the things when I say 4% is that it's 4% of expertise, of impact, of influence, of whatever it is that you're doing. So there are people that, you know, the truth is that most people come to me are either they're already out there as entrepreneurs or they're hidden entrepreneurs. I can't tell you how many people come to me as patients and they're really closet entrepreneurs. They didn't know that when they found me. They didn't know that when they were referred to me. And yet there's a closet entrepreneur there. But I think that is that peak performance is something that many, many, many of us can be reaching for in our own space, whatever that is. So to me, it's like, okay, as a parent who doesn't want to be peak performance, as a parent who doesn't want to be peak performance, as a friend, you know, we want that. So while I work mostly with people who are in that entrepreneur real space, one of the things that the universe has been like on a way. On its way to the truck of bricks with me. In fact, I just had a friend say to me yesterday, how many times do you have to heal this? And I'm kind of like, okay, I think enough. I think, I think enough times. Because one of the places that I'm reaching to is, yes, I love my work with that 1 to 4%. I love that. One on one, going deep. I used to do a lot of group works, group groups. In fact. Something most people don't know about me is I ran a group for 25 years. Okay, that's a long time. I actually, I was right. I used to run like four to six groups a week. And at one point I was running one group that I actually stopped it. People said, why did you do that? Just a few weeks shy of 25 years. Wow. Yeah. But it was done. It went from a therapy group to really a mastermind group. And it was, you know, it was an incredible experience to go with people through those phases of their life. One of the things that I'm really getting called for into is not only the deep work with those, you know, entrepreneurs who roll up their sleeves with me and say, I really want to do this, but I'm also getting called to bring it out to the world, to the entrepreneurs that are not in that 1 to 4% yet, to the people who really want to be at their peak performance. Because the message of getting into that state of the no doubt zone, the clarity, the creativity and the being able to sustain it, like there are some very famous people, and we won't mention names, who make a lot of money and lose a lot of money. We see it over and over. And I say they're strong for making money, but they're not strong for keeping money. Okay. They're strong for getting people to like them in the short run. They're not strong for sustaining relationship. They're strong for like doing a health thing. And all of a sudden everything comes up and then it goes back down. So I'm really getting some taps on the shoulder not only to continue the work that I'm doing and deepening it with 1 to 4%, but to expand that more globally. And one of the things that's been tricky for me is and has made me resist. So I'm kind of looking at. I'm kind of looking at that resistance and saying, okay, what's the gold in the resistance? For me, one of the things that I've resisted is I've spoken to a lot of very big crowds, but I've resisted some of the typical products because I don't like formulas. I've resisted some of that huge. Because you can put me in a room with hundreds of people and I still work like it's a group, like it's a workshop. If someone invites me to lecture, I say, can I do a workshop? And so they'll say, can you do a workshop with 500 people? And I'll say, yeah, fine, got it. So one of the things for me is really seeing how to turn touching people in a global, much bigger audience and still having the connectivity that enables people change through connection. You got to connect them to themselves, their community. For some people, it's spirit, their work, and a mentor usually really helps that a guide in some way. And so one of the things I'm looking at and I keep getting this image of, like, the Fireside Chat, is how to do that and really have that connection so that I can have the potency. I'm one of those people, you know, it's like, if I can't do it well, I don't do it. Even though I'll often say to clients, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly.

But, you know, okay, take lots of imperfect action. Yeah, exactly.

But this is one that has felt like an integrity thing of not wanting to. I've really wanted to hold that connection. So one of the things now that the universe, before it becomes a truck of bricks, I've had enough with my event. I am now saying, okay, I got it, and I'm saying yes to things that will bring what I'm doing to the 1 to 4%. Looking at that 1 to 4% in.

A different way, I love it. Dr. K, thank you so much for that. And this is the time on Make More Marbles where we say how grateful we are for your contribution to our community, and we want to contribute right back to. I never tell my guests that I'm going to do this, but we have a thing which you may appreciate as a supporter. My job is to seek in every encounter to diagnose, create space, and then serve, support, and solve. So that kind of talked about what you did earlier. And then finally, we connect people to the resources, the opportunities, the people and the systems that they need to move their mission forward faster. So that's seeds and crops, and we'd like to kind of turn the spotlight on you for a second and say, hey, what can we here at the Make More Marbles tribe do to connect you to the resources, the opportunities, the people, and the systems that will help you move your mission forward faster.

I think in line with what we were just saying, it really is connecting me to large audiences, to more podcasts, more shows, those that are business oriented and maybe some that aren't, but mostly I am. That's the sphere that it's the door people usually come in once they're There they often it's really not what they end up talking about. I have a business client that came in and he said in my house we call you the relationship whisperer. And I was laughing because he never told me that. But he came in because he wanted to bring his business from 1 to 3 million to 3 to 5 and improve his quality of life at the same time. So we ended up doing family sessions, couple sessions. So it really would be to connect me so that I can get that message and I don't have to get hit by ton of bricks or truck of bricks, but people that would have those audiences podcast shows. I want to invite people to come to my website. I'm going to do some deeper dive sessions. So sign up. Send me a fill out the contact form. Tell me what spoke to you from our call. Tell me what you'd like to know. Reach out. You know, like you I'm a people person. I do this because I love it. I'm one of those people that when they say, you know the line between work and play to me, I love what I do. What I do is play. My play is I would say you can't take the therapist out of me. So I'm always looking to help people and see and one of the fun things I do is that when I look at somebody I don't just see what is in their bank account or what they're showing up. I have this kind of weird thing where I see a lot of multiple images at once. I see where they are, where they can be, how they're holding themselves back, their trances, all this kind of stuff. And so I help them to see it and be able to make conscious choices from it. So I think the biggest thing would be to connect me to the people that would be in need of hearing this message and that I could then serve that really is is what it is and something for down the road. I think you saw on my sheet I'm an animal lover. I'm working on a fun book. It's not something. It's not like my no Doubt Zone book that is going to be the big thing but it's something that is really something from my heart. I'm working on a book about dogs or pets and no Doubt Zone. And I think it's a way that people are open to hearing things through their pets in a way that that connection does something nothing else does. So I'm very. This is kind of fun. I started doing it when I lost one of my dogs last year when she Passed unexpectedly. And the only thing I wanted to do was really tell stories about dogs in the no Doubt Zone. It's going to serve. It's not going to be for a while, but people could get in touch with me if this intrigues them. It's going to be something that I'm going to use to not only bring the message of the no Doubt Zone and the Bond, but also to raise money for rescue for animals that need medication where their owners can't afford it for the human bond. Maybe some service dog projects, not the guide dogs where there's money, but some things where people, you know, just, they don't have that resource, so it's not fleshed out. But some people have reached out to me from the media already and have said this is a project that we're really excited about. So it's not here yet, but it's something that is in the works. And if anybody's an animal lover and this speaks to them, if they would send me, go to my website, it's drk. You probably put it up on the screen, but it's drkaslow.com actually, it's. The email website is just drcaslow.com and just let me know that it's something that speaks to you and you'd love to be part of.

Thank you, Dr. K. And that was actually my last question is how can people get in touch with you? So they want to go to drk.azlow.

Com. Yeah, that's the website. D, R K A Z, L, O, W. It's a Z, not an S drcaslow.com and also you'll get to me if you Google no Doubt Zone. It'll take you to me also.

Right on. Well, thank you so much, Dr. K, for being on the show today. I am grateful on behalf of everybody at Make More Marbles. Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you so much. This has been fun. And I just want to say I love what you're doing. I love how you individualize, individualize it. And I just love that whole place that you come from about making more. Not competing, not squirreling away, but that we've got a resource and we can make it even more than it is.

Yes. Thank you. And thank you for getting that message and for agreeing to be on the show. And you know, you just ask and you hope people get it and they're like, when they start getting it, it's really exciting because you're living in this beautiful world.

You know, I look forward to continuing connection. And yeah, we'll have to have you.

Back on the show sometime.

I'd love it. And let me know how else I can help you.

Absolutely. Thanks so much for listening to the Make More Marbles Podcast. For more tips, hacks and strategies to create an amazing, abundant life in your health, wealth, relationships, whatever that means to you, head on over to makemoremarbles.com check out our cool explainer video about what we're about and join our community of entrepreneurial game changers. We want to help you level up your life in every place possible way. And don't forget to subscribe to us on itunes, Stitcher, or Google Play wherever you're listening to your podcast. And please do leave a review. Thank you so much and we'll see you on the next podcast.