How to Get Endorsed by the Dalai Lama: How Akshay Nanavati Turned Fear into a Life-Changing Journey

Welcome to Make More Marbles. My name is Brad Hart, and we're here to interview the game changers, the future makers, the co collaborators and creators who are here to collaborate with one another towards a better future for all of us. Enjoy the show. We've got a great guest coming up for you right now. Welcome to Make More Marbles. My name is Brad Hart. I am super excited to have Akshay Naravante here today. He's the author of Fear of Honor, an upcoming book that has been endorsed by none other than the Dalai Lama. I've actually got it over here. I should just read the book, shouldn't I? This lovely copy was gifted to me at Camp Maverick by Akshay. And I mean, let's just talk about the laundry list of people you have on here. Let's just talk about this for a minute. You got Jack Canfield. He's kind of a big deal. You got Seth Godin, also kind of a big deal. You've got Marcy Shimoff. You got Marshall Goldsmith. You got Keith Farazi, kind of a big deal. But the Dalai Lama.

The Dalai Lama.

You got the Dalai Lama to read your book. I mean, that's just rad. I mean, come on.

Let's just.

Let's start with that. Let's just start with the elephant in the room. How'd you get the Dalai Lama to read Nirvana? And then also, did he buy your real Llama? Like, what else happened that rhymes with llama that goes along with this story? This is an amazing story, and I've heard it before, but please, of course.

That was a tremendous honor. Just a huge, huge, humbling. I mean, so it all started. It took about, like, four months to make it happen. I mean, a big step, just a sort of takeaway also, is that it started with obviously, the belief that I could make it happen. And it did. I wasn't like. Like that from the get go, right when I had Fear of Honor. Initially, it was like, I'd be really cool, but I was like, there's no way. Like, how? I'm not a famous person. How could I ever get that, you know, the Dalai Lama to write my. To read my book and endorse it. And then I was like, finally, I was. At one point, I was like, wait, why can't I make that happen? And I think that's always a good question when you ask yourself is, why can't I make X happen? Right? So I was like, I'm going to give it a shot. So I reached out to the email that is on his website, which got me nowhere. I did a bunch of research. Then I found one point of contact in the office. I didn't know who this channel was, but just a name and an email. I shot a personal video for His Holiness which was that I think was the game changing strategy because now it's not just words in a paper. They can see me, see my enthusiasm, see, you know, hear my story, hear what I want to do. With Fearvana shot a personal video. This one particular monk there connected me to another person. Another person. Three people later, we're now communicating and going back and forth in emails for about four months. Going through battles in my own heads about, you know, they probably don't like this. They probably think my book is garbage. They're not going to want to read it. Why would they endorse it? But rising above those feelings and just choosing to stay connected to this gentleman. And after about four months he wrote me back saying, you know, considering we. And this time we had been communicating, really building a relationship where I was really authentic about sharing my struggles about sharing what do I want to do with it. And he finally wrote me back saying, considering everything you've been through and your genuine desire to serve, I'll press your case. And when he said, I'll press your case, like two weeks later, I got this beautiful letter in the mail with His Holiness signature, this seal and, and wrote a forward. I didn't even ask for a forward. I actually only asked for like a one line endorsement. But I ended up getting a forward. And we got this beautiful letter that we're now framing up in the, in the house as well.

That's beautiful. And what a testament to the power of, you know, just belief really. Just you believe it could be so. And there it was. And it's almost like you felt the fear and you did it anyway, right? Which is probably we're going to talk about a lot, kind of give people, you know, the origin story. How did you get to where you are today? What's your hero's journey? And how did Fear of Honor come to be a real thing? Because I know you've worked insanely hard getting this ready and it's now ready to launch. You got your book trailer. Like I think it's been viewed 5,000 times the first day. I mean, you're blowing up, man.

It's been pretty cool. I've been, I've been pretty. Was pretty humbled by how the trailer spread like wildfire. It was amazing. So. But yeah, with the journey that Kind of led me to fear of honor. And everything I'm doing now is. It really started when I was in high school. I had moved from India to Singapore to US at 13. And at about 15, I got into drugs big time. I even lost two friends to drug addiction. And I went. I was very much headed down that path. Me and one of my friends who I lost were the first in the group to start going, you know, harder with our drugs. And that could have easily been me. But thankfully I found a way out. I actually watching the movie Black Hawk down triggered this desire to do something more meaningful in my life because it's just watching the courage of men see sacrificing their lives in combat. It led me to reading the book about Black Hawk down and then reading book after book on military and you know, everything in the military and really serving in a group where the, where the institution and the people around you matter more than your own well being, that was something beautiful about that. So I joined the Marines. Two doctors told me Marine Corps boot camp would kill me, but I went anyway. It took about a year and a half to fight my way in because of these medical, because of a blood disorder to have that, you know, was rejected by the. These doctors wouldn't let me join initially, but in the Marines where I started to find the value in engaging fear and pursuing struggle and challenging yourself and pushing your limits. And so as a result, I looked for other ways to do it. I went mountain climbing, skydiving, rock climbing, cave diving, ice diving, I mean, you name it, all of it. To explore nature kind of became my playground. And then in 2007, I was sent to Iraq, which, as you can imagine, had some intense experiences, but beautiful, learned a lot, came back, was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and then struggle with alcoholism to the point that I consider taking my own life. I mean, after like a five day binge drinking session, I woke up just thinking there's no point going on. And when I hit that low moment, that's when I realized obviously something needed to change. So I began researching neuroscience, psychology. Spirituality did not only just heal my own brain, but really figure out this, you know, figure out life. Like how do we live a happy and meaningful life? And that's what ultimately led me to the concept of Fearvana. So I had been living it in many ways, but. But now it became this tangible, real thing, right? It crystallized, it had a name to it. And then writing the book was a way for me to enhance my own learnings, but also to share this concept with others and bring it to the world. And ultimately and everything I'd learned, just not through research but through sort of hard earned life experience as well. That's really what brought it to where it's at now and everything that's happening with it.

That's a beautiful story, and it's great because. And thank you for your service, by the way. Appreciate you saying great because you. You didn't succumb to what could have ended most people's lives. And having had a father who drank himself to death and having had a friend who drank himself to death in college, and having my own struggles with alcohol, I just. I really can empathize with what you went through and understand it. I think a lot of people out there are struggling silently and giving in to their fears or giving in to their possibility that they. They, you know, their life doesn't mean anything. And you've managed to turn it around in such an epic way, influenced so many people in the process, and the domino ripple effects will continue to go out. Like, I just want to say thank you first and foremost. Like, you've been putting out so much for so many people, and, like, I rarely meet somebody who's like, man, I got to step up my game. Like, Akshay is killing it. He's after it. You know, he's. He's putting his mission out of the world. So thank you for inspiring me and all the millions of people that you will inspire. I'm just excited to, you know, be in the stands and cheering you on because you, you know, at the end of the day, we need more leaders in this world. And the true mark of a leader and you're already a leader is somebody who doesn't create more followers. They create more leaders themselves. You know, they become a force for good. So what are some of the top lessons that you believe you've learned over the years that have allowed you to become the person you are today, doing the things in the world that you're doing? You know, I know we look up to guys like David Goggins and Jesse Itzler and all these types of people who do these physical, you know, feats. I just introduced you to a Navy SEAL who does all these kind of cool races and fun stuff like that.

Yeah.

What do you think drives somebody to do that? They start out crazy, and it's just like an outlet for the crazy. Doing that makes them crazy.

Or.

What do you think it is?

I mean, you know, like, at least for me, it certainly didn't start out like that when I was a kid, I used to be terrified of Ferris wheels, man. Like, I was afraid of everything, Hated long distance running, and now I'm getting, you know, into ultra marathons. So it definitely didn't start out that way for me. I know there's some people who, like, they seem to figure it out much earlier. It took me a long time, a lot of ups and downs to figure that out. But I think when you start to embrace that with these guys, you're talking about Jesse Itzer, David, you know, Dave Goggins. When you start to discover your limitlessness, your ability to rise above that moment where, you know, this one part of you wants to quit, the other wants to fight back and keep fighting. Every time you experience that, it's this beautiful, beautiful thing. That's why I found so much value in going through these outdoor sports and pursuing adventures, you know, climbing the Himalayas, skiing across polar ice caps, doing these intense things, because you discover the courage within yourself to rise above your own fears, to keep pushing through, you know. So the single most important lesson I've gotten from all these people, from my own takeaways, my own research, is that is to develop a positive relationship to suffering. You know, any of these guys will tell you the things they do is absolutely hard. It's not easy, but there's a reason they do that, right? Like when you learn how to engage that and there's people who do it, like, to all kinds of different levels, but wherever you are, there's no right or wrong. You know, it's not about like, comparing myself to David Gong, who's obviously a far better runner than I am, but it's like, if you can be better than you were yesterday, that's what you need to work on. And you do that by engaging struggle, by finding your worthy struggle. I like to call it like. So the way to find fear of honest. It's the bliss that results from engaging our fears to pursue our own worthy struggle. And when you find that and you develop this positive relationship to suffering, like, not only will you be able to smile when life inevitably punches you in the face from time to time, but you'll also be able to smile through the suffering that's standing between where you are now and where you want to be in terms of all your goals. So that's sort of my biggest takeaway is to develop that positive relationship. And. And you do that through practice. And there's other techniques as well, I'm happy to share. But that's like the big one. And that's what you. That's what all these people who inspire me, who are great at the respective art forms, you know, they know how to struggle, and they know how to struggle to achieve something worthy.

Yeah, you're gonna struggle anyway. You might as well struggle with a purpose. You might as well make empowering around the struggle. And, you know, Akshay is a great example of this. Like, we went running and he's got his thing. He loves to run himself. And, like, he'd be getting up at five in the morning to go run. We did a run together. And that's one thing I love to do, is like, connect with people running. So he runs like, he gets up before me, he runs like three, four miles, and I'm like, okay, cool, that's your warmup. And then he comes back and say, hey, you want to run? I'm like, cool, we do five miles together. And then I'm like, okay, I'm done. I'm going to go shower. He's like, all right, I'm going to do another four or five miles. That's the level of commitment that you have to have to be an ultra runner. That's the level of commitment you need to have to do it. And I bet you rarely meet people that can actually keep up with you, let alone, like, have that experience. So I have a personal question for you, is like, have you had any other experiences where you found other runners to run with and what has happened, like? Or was that the one shot deal? And I got the only.

Actually, since the Marines, I hadn't run with somebody. I think I might mention that since. With somebody. Since running with you. And that was. I'd always feel like running was my own, like, my thing. I didn't necessarily like running with others. It was my spiritual time to be alone. But, like, I absolutely loved it. Like, I think we connected in such a deep way while running together in the conversations we had there. So it's definitely something I'll probably start doing more of now is running with others. Because, you know, it's. It's powerful to experience a struggle with other people together. I mean, I've trained in Jim Jones, like, Jim Jones, one of the best, baddest gyms in the world. Bobby Maximus, my friend. I was also blessed to receive endorsement from him for fear of honor. But he's like the manager there, and he's actually one of the fittest people in the world. He's just a beast. But you go there, you know, and he says something beautiful, which I love. He said that A family that suffers together stays together, you know, And. And I love that because I think it's so true. So, like, now I want to get into more of that running with people, like, suffering together with people, because I think you connect in a deeper way. It doesn't have. Especially since I stopped drinking. Right. Like, now it's like, what do you do? Because otherwise, before that, it's like, let's go grab a beer together. You know, like, that's all we wanted. People say, like, let's go grab a beer together. Now. It's like, I'm not doing that anymore. So what do we do? Let's go suffer together.

It's. Yeah, let's go suffer together. I guess, you know, you go to the bar to drink away your sorrows, or you go and you run in the morning or do whatever you do to, you know, make your sorrows into something meaningful. It's like sharpening steel together. It's kind of a cool thing. It's like, we're not changing. We're still getting the stress out. We're still getting the demons out. Whatever. I go run screaming, yell at the ocean every morning now. It's with a purpose, right? Because I know I'm putting myself in the peak state that I need to be in to serve at the highest level. So people are always like, you have so much energy on this podcast. You should see me at the end of the day when I've done six of them and I'm wrecked. You know, anybody? Then it's Taco Tuesday, and I just heal. But, you know, whatever it is you're doing, guys, like, don't compare yourself. That's number one, right? Be a little bit better than you were before and use fear as a motivator. Use fear as a tool, right? They're both powerful, like pain and pleasure, both powerful ways to get yourself to do things. And leadership starts with self leadership. What are some of the. You know, some of the people that maybe you know at the right key point in your life, came in your life and influence them, maybe known, maybe unknown, that you really look up to around your mission and around this. This positive message of, you know, turning fear into power?

A big one is Jack Canfield, who I was again blessed to receive that endorsement from. But he's a chicken soup with a soul author, and he. I mean, when I was kind of navigating my own demons, yeah, I went to do some seminars and work with him, and I really resonate with him. He's a tremendously beautiful soul, really amazing human being and does some great work. And I remember asking him, you know, what would you do differently if you could go back in your career? And I remember him saying he would have written his book sooner. So that was actually a big trigger for me to then write my own book. But I'm always looking for these outside, sort of you can call a mentor. Some of them I know directly like Jack, other than I don't, you know, like. But just following, let's say, you know, like Bobby Maximus is a great mentor mine in the fitness community. There's others who I don't know, but I follow them on social media, right. And they become these, I was just talking about this with somebody else, another podcast about. They become these spark moments and these moments to trigger you, to inspire you. And I always have that. In fact, I have a list on my phone and one of my apps called Empowering the Subconscious. That's the name of the title, that's the title of this list. And on the list I have various people. So if I want to look, you know, I want to find somebody to empower my subconscious, I will go to this list and I'll find one of these people. I'll watch their YouTube videos, I'll watch their, you know, follow their Instagram page. I'll see what they're up to. I'll see how they're suffering beautifully and, and inspire me to stay on, say stay on track with my own path. So there's, there's many people, I mean like Killian Jornet, the Iron Cowboy. James Lawrence, who ran 50 Ironmans in 50 states in 50 days. You know, Dean Carnassus, the ultra marathoner who wrote the book Ultra Marathon Man. In fact, that book got me into ultra running when I was in Iraq. Actually we were in this tiny little base in Iraq and we didn't often have time off, but when we did, I would go running for like hours around this little base because inside the base we were, we had protected by the sand barriers. So inside there you didn't have to wear the flak jacket and Kevlar. So I'd go running for hours around there and my Marine buddies thought it would be really funny. Throw rocks at me when I was like two hours into a run, which really wasn't that funny.

But how long was the run? Did you have to make a lot of money?

You'd have to make like a hundred plus. I mean it's like a tiny little building, so just going round and round and round. But that book got me into ultra running. It was like a spark moment, you know, like Black Hawk down got me out of drugs and into the marines. These books get me into ultra running. And this researcher, Daniel Coyle, who wrote this book, Talent Code, he talks about that all greatness in various endeavors, whether it be athletes, you know, playing violin, playing chess. It starts from these external spark moments that then sort of then ignite into a raging fire if we commit to it and you know, and embark upon the journey. So I've had those and now I'm consciously seek them out in when I've sort of learned how this whole thing works.

You know, I love that. Powering the subconscious. That's part of your daily ritual as well, right?

Yeah. Yes. I'm constantly looking at things to. I mean you. I think you got to immerse yourself in who you want to be and you know, for yourself, for the world around you. And when you surround yourself with those references, it becomes something that just stays within you and it lives within you and you can keep using that to drive yourself forward. Yeah.

And you're a human being, not a human doing it has nothing to do with what you're doing, although that will create who you're being, that the things that you want life show up for. You know, you touch on the Talent Code by Daniel Coyle, which is a great book if anybody hasn't read it. But I think the best explanation Tony talks about, Tony Robbins talks about this all the time, is if he starts out as an intellectual, I get this thing and then emotionally we get it eventually. If we don't get it emotionally, we can't transfer it. We can't wire and fire it until it's affected physical reality. He talks about how you can literally wire yourself for success or anything else, any habit you want, and make it effortless for yourself through that, you know, intellectual, emotional, and then physical mastery they call it. And that's been a huge change in my life and the life of my clients. That's given me the tools to change almost anything. It's like putting enough pain to the current habit that's not working, enough pleasure to the habit that's going to work and the wiring and firing it enough getting emotional. And that's the power of a story really. It just comes down to storytelling. The story of Black Hawk down got you to take action. The story of these ultra runners and marathon, the story of the four hour work week, you know, really sparked. I read that seven times, you know, like, this is a guy that's got to figure it out at least you know, that's what I believed at the time. That's what I knew. And these stories, whether they're true or not is irrelevant with a capital T. Who knows? Every story is an approximation of what really happened. But at the end of the day, they have the power to shape everybody's life if we can just share them in an empowering way and kind of quiet. The stories that maybe are not so empowering.

Yeah, exactly. They connect you at an emotional level. And then you can then when. You know, when also in terms of how memories work, when it's. When it's emotionally powerful, it implants itself into your memory deeper and then you can leverage that and channel it into, into whatever it is you want to do for yourself and for the world around you. So I have like plenty of experiences like that. Like the movie Hacksaw Ridge was a huge one. And for me, in terms of finding faith, we talked about this briefly when we were running together, but I've recently, you know, figured out, like, tapped into my power of my own faith and it's been a beautiful thing. And that movie was really emotionally powerful for me. I mean, it brought me to tears, but in the best way possible, you know, finding faith.

For people that might not have seen the movie, can you give them a little bit of.

Oh, sorry, yes. Yeah. No, I mean, I mean, it's based on a true story about this guy, Desmond Doss, who's a. Who single handedly saved 75 people from a cliff in this battle in World War II.

Axel Ridge, he was a conscientious objector as well.

He's also a conscious objector, chose not to carry a rifle, he was a medic. But he single handedly saved 75 of his, you know, his fellow soldiers by, by dragging them. Some of them, they were as far as a football field. And you know, the Marines, we drag like one body and it's brutal. Dragging 75 people and then lowering him off a cliff. I mean, it's inhuman what he did.

While people are shooting at you, while.

People are shooting you in the middle of a combat zone. And after every person, he would say, please God, help me save one more. And I've seen the documentary about him too. I mean, just a tremendously. And that's like, actually the movie just shows that's the main thing he did. But if you read his Medal of Honor citation, that's like one small part of he did. He things he did. He consistently, consistently, over and over again did these amazing things to put his own life on the Line to sacrifice his own well being for people, for the people he was there to serve. And I mean, just, it's mind blowing, that level of courage and self sacrifice.

And I wonder, as a lover of people, what if, what if people could just tap into 1% of that, you know, or 10% of that, or 50% of that? Like, that's an extreme example. Obviously, that guy's dialed in to the nth level. And, you know, you could call it luck, you could call it God, you could call it faith, you could call it fate, you could call it whatever you want to call it. But he acted in a way that was unheard of and above and beyond the call of duty and set a precedent for future generations to do the same. But like, even without being in a war zone, how do you, like, what are some of the strategies you might use to tap into something like that? Like, if you were to try to hack that, like a scientific point of view, knowing what you know about human behavior, psychology, physiology, what would you do to become more like Desmond?

Yeah, I think it's a combination of faith with will. You know, for him, he wasn't saying, please God, save one more, like magically save one more. He said, help me save one more. And he was still out there, like walking, dragging people. So, you know, faith is one area. And whatever God may mean to you, for me, God means it's the divinity within each of us that we all have and tapping into that divinity within ourselves. Right. So tapping into that area of faith, but the other area is experiencing will. So it's a habit that I call cultivating courage. And that is about essentially making willpower a habit. So willpower, it's. You know, plenty of research has shown that it's this, it's this finite resource. If I use willpower at the start of the day, by the end of the day, it's drained. I don't have as much willpower as I did earlier. But here's the thing with willpower, and you'll see people do this all the time. Like, like James Lawrence, for example, I just mentioned, right? 50 ironman, 50 states, 50 days is. It's a state of will that's like beyond what, what's possible, right? Same thing with, with the, with the Desmond Doss doing that. So I think when the will is channeled to one purposeful action, it becomes limitless. And you see this again all the time. Like when Reinhold Messner Solo climbed up Everest without oxygen, he said to a point that he was so done that he was Just a state of pure will. So it's like will becomes limitless when you channel it into one focused action. So the way you want to do that is in all areas of your life, build systems so you don't waste willpower. Willpower is essentially cognitive energy. It's self control. Right. So what I do is I have systems in all areas of my life that I don't have to think about. So I wake up in the morning, for example, and I have a night, a morning ritual that I just read on my phone. It's a little app on my phone. I just read it. I don't have to think. Right. Because every time you. Every time you think you use it, you make a decision. You're actually. It's called decision fatigue. It engages willpower. It uses cognitive energy. It drains you. So I try to remove thinking from as many areas of my life so I can channel my willpower into this one limitless thing. And you do that one step at a time.

These are black V neck T shirts. Kind of borrowed this from Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs. They always wore the same thing every day. So they have to make a decision about what to wear.

Exactly, exactly. You don't have to think. You're not wasting cognitive energy. And then when you channel that and you build that one step at a time. I mean, I used to be a dude that was scared of Ferris wheels, man. Like, I was not, you know, this person pursuing the kind of sports that I do now. But I built it one step at a time. Wherever you are now, it's okay. Like, engage that next level of risk. They call it the zone of fear vana, where you push yourself far enough, but if you go too far, you'll paralyze yourself with fear. So push yourself far enough and you'll find that the zone keeps expanding, you know, I mean, and then when, as the zone keeps expanding at the line of. What it will take to reach that level of fear will be more than you know, than you were, like a year ago. But that will keep pushing into your. Into your next awakening.

Do you feel like, yeah, it's incredibly beautiful. Do you think the will is something divine or do you think that it's a muscle that can be built over time? Do you feel like it's like we all have a certain amount of will or we can create more?

It's definitely a muscle that can be built over time. It's. I think it's limitless when we can. When it's channel into that one thing and it's something we can all build, you know, I mean, I know like people again who do amazing, you know, people who do amazing things. And I've myself, I'm continuously getting stronger. Somehow can I be stronger than a person I was yesterday? So it's definitely something that you can build over time. I mean, one step is just literally engaging it, you know, taking actions. But there's all kinds of little things you can do, like visualizing yourself overcoming the obstacle, for example. So, you know, often law of attraction will tell you to visualize yourself, you know, all happy with your dream house, your dream car, whatever. But research has shown and it's far more valuable to actually visualize yourself engaging the obstacles that it takes to get there. So, for example, before a long run, I'll visualize myself hitting a low moment, which is almost inevitable every time I do a long run, and overcoming that low moment. And plenty of research has shown that to be very, very powerful. So visualizing is a great technique. Another very powerful technique that I. That I found as a personal game changer is using music as a trigger. So, for example, what I. What I used to do is running was my. As you know, you heard, we run together. Running is my peaceful activity, right? I love it. So what I would do is I would play one particular song every time before I go for a run. Then what I started doing after about anchoring this in for two weeks, I would play before doing something a little harder for me. Like writing was actually much harder for me. Often when I was writing, I used to procrastinate by going to like a run a marathon. I would literally go run a marathon. I'm gonna go run. And then I would just keep running because it would be my procrastination from writing. But what I would start doing then is playing, playing this song before I write. And now the brain creates an anchor. It's saying that this song equals go mode. This song equals, like, you know, engage like that you're on. You're ready to engage this thing. You're about to pursue your worthy struggle. So you do that and you train your brain to like, learn how to suffer better and to build that will better as well. Those are some strategies that have helped and are game changing for me.

It's funny I've mentioned this before, but it's like, you know, the things that work and you stop doing them and then you remind yourself, like, I have this song by Martin Garrick. It's called Animals. There's only one set of lyrics in the whole thing, but it's like this techno cool beat song. And I play that when I'm just working and just cranking stuff out. And if I just do that on a loop, I'm in the zone until I stop. Right. It's really cool. And I've just trained my brain to just be like, this is. You're in the zone. This is what it is. Over and over and over again. And then with running, it's the Sia song. Move your body and it's like a goofy song. When it comes on kind of slow, it's like, Anyway, so that gets me going in the morning and it gets me out and screaming at the ocean. So whatever works for you. Pick a theme song that gets rolling.

You can do the same thing to shut off also. You can do the same thing to shut off and relax also. It doesn't have to be for go mode. I actually have a relax song too. Bruce Springsteen, paradise, man. You hear that song? It just puts me right into a state of calm. So I have a relaxed song as well. I have these ritual triggers that I do. Like before a speech, I'll watch one particular video. And that puts me in the surface of why I want to, you know, what I'm there to speak about. So all these little triggers to create that, to activate you and drive you in whatever way you want to be driven. If you need to shut off, you need to be on whatever it may be.

No, that's awesome. And I think that's so valuable. Just these little nuggets that people can just kind of bring into their life. Because so many times you get on a show, somebody's mega successful or doing incredible things in the world, and the average person is like, oh, my God, I'll never be like that person. They just give up before they start. They could just grab these one little tooth little things and see some progress. The evidence of success builds confidence, which builds more evidence, which build more confidence. And it's a virtuous cycle, right?

Yeah.

I know when I was first starting out and figuring out my body and my health and having all these struggles and setbacks, you know, it was stuff like this that kept me going. You know, it was stuff like, wow, this person overcame so much. And just these one little, little tiny things implement that really did it. So, yeah, let's think of like two or three more that are really awesome like that you've come across over the years to turn power to. You know, maybe we could share your morning ritual or evening ritual. I don't know what you're up into.

Happy to share anything. Happy to share my morning ritual as well. One, one little technique before I share that is to like that I call it to isolate your. Isolate yourself from your fears. So whatever barriers you're working on, like, okay, let's say I'm procrastinating my book, right? Okay, this is my goal. I'm procrastinating on it. What is the barrier? So isolate yourself from your fear. I was terrified while writing this book on fear because the whole time wondering, you know, is this going to be any good? Are people going to think it's garbage? Inevitably I'm going to get one one star review on Amazon, if not more. And then I'm going to think that my, you know, that my book is the worst thing in the world. So being present to that and realizing that it's okay like, and that. So before you even isolate yourself, isolate yourself from your fears is learning not to judge your emotions. You know, we live in a world that labels some emotions as bad, some as good. And that's huge misconception. Like there are only emotions and, and it's up to us to decide what we do with those emotions. So when we isolate ourselves from it, we can understand it. So fear is the biggest barrier that stops people, right? So I was, okay, I'm procrastinating my book, so what am I afraid of? And then really understanding, okay, what's the worst case scenario? If you know here that nobody will buy my book, I'll get the reviews. How can I prepare for that worst case scenario? Okay, I can write a better book so I can learn. I learned from people like Tim Ferriss, learning from Jack Canfield about how to write a better book. So fear can propel you to prepare in a really beautiful way if you engage your fear and you understand it. A great technique to do this is called a Toyota's five whys technique where you find the barrier and you ask yourself why five times to it. So why am I procrastinating? Because it's a lot of work. Why does that scare you? Because nobody might want to read it. Why does that scare you? Like in digging deep five times often I would realize when doing this with the book, it'd be that maybe I'm not good enough to share this with the world. Right? And then understanding that allows you to be okay with it and then decide what you want to do with it, right? So isolating yourself from the fears is a big one. Another one is that I use all the time and I kind of touched on is what you, what I call like fear allies. Surrounding yourself with these empowering references to drive you into your fear. Whatever your worthy struggle is, it doesn't have to be an ultra runner if that's not your path, you know, whatever it may be, find people in who are engaging that path, who are really far along it, who are doing it masterfully and use their story, learn from them and surround yourself with them, you know, and like put like vision board up. The vision board is not a suit to visualize yourself on the other end of your obstacle. It's just to prime your brain. As I said I have, I have a list on my, on my thing called empowering the subconscious. And on there I have people like Dean Carnassis, the ultra marathon Man, Killian Jornett, Gary Vaynerchuk, Iron Cowboy, who I'll follow, I'll go to their various platforms to learn from them, you know, so that's certain, that's certain things that I do. Here's my morning ritual as well. Again, it's just a list I follow. Prayer, meditate, play wake up music, 25 push ups, brush teeth, review goals and detail, plan for the day, watch something motivating, then I get into it and then I have systems that I follow throughout the day to engage in. So I'm not thinking, but I'm thinking only when I need to, right? When I have an act, when I need to exercise cognitive energy. So those are some things that you can do that are very valuable. And I think, you know, the key of all of this I think at the foundation is to, is to realize that there are no to tap, to bring it back. But really set that this is the basic point is whatever emotion shows up that it's not bad or good, it's so essential just to be with it and not judge your emotions. You know, like so many people do this all the time. Like I worked with one client who said I just need to wait for the fear to go away, so quit my job and start my business. And his problem was not that he was afraid. Like that's a natural thing to be scared of, right? But he made himself mean that he was weak for feeling fear. That's why he was waiting for it to go away. Because according to him, he saw these people say we should be fearless, don't be scared of anything. Right? And that's a huge misconception because then you beat yourself up when you experience all these emotions. But if you learn to say whatever I'm feeling is okay, then you can channel it and I feel afraid all the time, man. Like, I get afraid sitting in my house alone, which is crazy, right? Because I've done some pretty intense things in the world. But sitting in my house alone, my wife in India, I'll be like, so suddenly, angst, anxiety, and fear will show. And before I would say things like, you know, stop being a baby. What's wrong with you? Why are you scared? Until I sort of, you know, listening to my own advice, I would just pause and be okay with it. Okay. I'm afraid so. So be it. Cool. I'm afraid I'm not going to judge it now. What can I do with it, you know? So those are some things that you.

Actually follow your own advice.

That's revolutionary once in a while.

Yeah, everybody should do that once in a while.

Sometimes I forget.

So there's another Keith that you may be aware of. You read any of the Rich Dad Poor DACA books? Yeah, there's a guy named Keith Cunningham who's like the real life rich dad, and he has this concept that he calls thinking time. Now, you talked about having systems in your life that are centered around not having to think. Do you actually schedule time to think or when do you think?

Yeah, like, the creative moments for me can either be going from running. My puppy is in India now, so. But walking with my dog was a big time. But I've started recently also journaling a lot more. So, you know, to. That's a good, good time to think and process the day. Another exercise, which I'm kind of getting back into now is great, great exercise to just be with yourself and really experience yourself and think about everything. See where your subconscious and your conscious takes you is. I learned this from an endurance cyclist friend of mine. What he would do is he would sit still, staring into a wall, like, so no painting, no tv, no music, no stimuli at all, Eyes open. And he would do it for 24 hours and then go riding for 24 hours. And this dude has, like, done a race across America where he biked across America in, like, 11 days with a total of 11 hours of sleep. Like, this whole ridiculous thing. And this exercise, I didn't start with 24 hours because I think I would have driven myself nuts. But what I started with was just 45 minutes. And, like, I set a timer, put my phone away. Obviously I'm not looking at it, but I still remember thinking that, is my phone broken? Like, is the timer going to die? Because, you know, is the timer dead? Because the 45 minutes can feel like an eternity. But it is a beautiful exercise to take on because we're constantly living in a world that we're running away from ourselves. Right. Like, even if we're productive in our business, we may be. We're doing something right. We're. And if we're not doing that, we're on our phones, we're on tv, music, something, or the other iPads, this, that, the other thing. But if we just shut all of that off and just be. It's really beautiful. And this is actually different. I don't. I think meditation is valuable as well. As I said, it's in my morning routine. But unlike meditation, where you're closing your eyes and you're trying to anchor your breath on, you know, anchor into your breath and just sort of silence your thoughts in here, you're not anchoring anything. You're letting your thoughts flow wild. And that's a really tremendously beautiful exercise. You can even do it once a week. Start with 45 minutes, start with 10 minutes if you have to, and then go up by 50 minutes every week, whatever, you know. And it's very powerful, though, to engage yourself, and all kinds of stuff will show up. It's hard. Of course, it's very hard, but it's. It's awesome as a result.

Yeah. And I am guilty of this as anybody. Like, I just want to always be positive. And I almost, like, I can go, go, go, go, go, being positive, not letting the stuff come up for, like, five, six, seven days sometimes. Then I just hit a wall. Or it's like, screw everything, forget everybody, kick that loves to knock things off table. Like, I become that guy for a couple days until I get myself sorted.

When.

If I could just literally get myself to sit and stare at a wall for 40 minutes or an hour or whatever, you know, I might be able to work through some of that stuff. Maybe cry a little bit. I don't know.

Yeah. Another thing. Speaking of which, another thing is to actually consciously proactively engage your emotions. You know, again, remember, there are no bad or good emotions. All emotions are there for a reason. So I actually do that all the time. Like, I'll watch scenes from war movies that. That I know will make me cry, you know, And I do that to experience the intensity of these emotions. Because when you experience intense lows, you also experience intense highs. So music, again, is a huge trigger for me. I have various songs that will put me into a mood that I can use as a trigger to. Okay, if I want to be angry, here's a song. If I want to be sad. I can watch a sad movie. I want to be happy. If I want to laugh, I can watch something funny, you know, watch a comedian. Louis CK Bilber. Comedians I love. So, like consciously proactively engaging all your emotions. I mean, I think I've shared this with you, but guilt, you know, I lost a friend of mine in the war, and I constantly feel guilty about it, about it. And I look at that picture of him and remind myself that this should have been. You earned this life, you know, so feeling all of it, feel every emotion and experience it deeply and intensely and beautifully because it will allow you to experience everything in life in that beautiful way. But seek it out. Don't just wait for it to come to you. When you consciously seek it out, you'll also be better prepared when it does come to you. So if like, life punches you in the face and suddenly you get angry, now you've also, you have experience in anger, you know what to do with it. So you're not just reacting from a place of anger. You know, like a beautiful quote I think is sort of one of my most powerful quotes of Game Changing is Viktor Frankl. He was a psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust, Great Holocaust, wrote one of the best books ever, A Man's Search for Meaning. He says, between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. And in our response lies our growth and our freedom. Now, between stimulus and response, so the stimulus is an emotion that you don't really control. Neuroscience has shown we don't control. It first shows up in our brain, right? We experience this emotion, but that space, what we do with it, between our conscious response to it, that space is our destiny. So when you consciously engage your emotions, you can. You build that space between your stimulus and your response to it. So you're not just reacting from anger, but you now say, I'm angry. I'm used to it. I know what to do with it. How do I want to consciously respond to it? That space is like literally. That will define your whole life.

Yeah, that living in that space, that's the power that we have as human beings. There's always a space to just. To choose not to react and to respond.

Exactly.

You can create anything you want that forms a habit over time. That would be a really cool exercise. I don't know if it's in the book or not, but, like, finding, like, here's all the different emotions you want to feel or that people can feel, and then here's how to find all the triggers, like, here's some examples, options. You don't use these, but here's just a way, like a workflow to find all that stuff. So you could literally hack yourself with media that's constant and bombarding. That's, you know, that allows you to get into those states on demand and then within. It might take you a little while, maybe it takes you a week. But then you have like a cheat sheet for media to listen to and engage with that puts you in a particular state. I think everybody has a piece of media, music video. Otherwise that would put them in that state. And just knowing that about yourself would allow you to lead yourself. And self leadership is the first step to being a leader on a grand scale.

Yeah, yeah, that would be a cool exercise. It's not in this one. Maybe it's the next book. But yeah, get, get clear on the, on the emotions. And we all have our different triggers, so find the ones that work for you. You know, it doesn't have to be watching a war movie or it can be something else, but whatever, the trigger works for you. And that's based on your own references and everything that's shaped who you are today.

I get really, like crazily excited whenever I see black and white animals. That's one of my triggers for happiness for sure. Like my, my team loves to send me panda bears because I freak, I freak out, I get crazy. You know, just stuff like that, like just any little thing that just does it for you, whatever it is, right. And stop trying to be cool and just like whatever lights you up, right?

Yeah, dude. I mean, I listen to Backstreet Boys and NSync. That's my go to. Whatever. You know, who cares about whatever judgments people might have about that? Embrace it. You know, that's definitely one trigger for me. So I love it.

Well, hey, I want to just go into. Since this is a Facebook live, I want to go into some of the comments and, and see what people are saying here.

Yeah.

So let's dig in. I ask people to just jump on, check out your book, leave a review if they want, talk about vision boards. Good advice. Do you practice stoicism? Great question.

And I guess in my. I've read a little bit about it. So in my sense, I guess, you know, I live that to some degree. I think I live that philosophy, which is generally what I do. But I wouldn't say I consciously practice it like in that, you know, I read a lot of books about it, I've read and I know, I think I Quote. I think I have some stoic quotes in the book as well, which I have to refresh my memory, but in terms of, like, let me pull up. Let me, like, really get the ethos of it down so I don't. And then explain how I. How I practice it.

Letters from Seneca. You're thinking meditation by Marcus Aurelius, that those are like, probably.

I do have. I do have some Seneca quotes in my. In my book, for sure. I can't remember what they are, but I know you got my book on you.

We'll both dig, we'll find something. But, yeah, Stoicism, just for people who aren't familiar with the concept, is taking the ancient prevailing philosophical, you know, learnings and teachings of the time of the Roman, and mostly Roman emperors, I would say, kind of applying them to modern life.

Right.

Because humans haven't changed from a functional perspective in 250,000 years. We've been evolving. You know, we're basically what we were back then. Now we're just, you know, there's planes and trains and automobiles and all kinds of gizmos and stuff, and we have to deal with that. We're still like these, you know, prefrontal cortex, barely.

Caveman. Yeah. So these are the Seneca. These are the Seneca quotes that I quote, I think that. I think are very appropriate to the way I practice Stoicism. And essentially very in alignment with Fear of Honor is that he says, it is not because things are difficult that we do not dare. It is because we do not dare that they are difficult. And the way I like to put that in my. In my book is that if you don't seek out a worthy struggle, struggle will find you anyway, as I think you touched on earlier in this as well. So realizing that struggle is going to find you anyway, one way or the other. Life is going to be hard. But when you find that worthy struggle, it makes it beautiful. And the pain to be a champion, whatever your pursuit is, is a beautiful thing. Another one he says, is a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials. And I think I've, you know, been through my. Been through a few trials, and I'm constantly seeking new ones. You know, like, I'm always figuring out new stages to reach the next stage of my own awakening. So seeking that out, seeking out challenge, finding the worthy challenge, and that's how you reach your next level of your own growth.

I love it. And, you know, I love looking through the comments because people are getting these, aha. And I love doing these Facebook Lives. Some of the aha's were, you know, systematizing your life, right? So you could not use brain power and stuff. That just doesn't matter. Who cares, right? What clothes you wear every day. It's like, do you see enough people that you have to impress that you're not wearing? They're clean. That's all that matters, right? And then it frees you up for so much more. Like, if you're just. Basics are handled and you know what you're going to eat today, for the most part, dialed in with your health and nutrition, it just frees you up to have so many more beautiful experiences. We're not just, oh, what's gonna happen next? Oh, God, I gotta figure this out. And like, you know, get a pill reminder, get a, you know, a setup that works for you and just make it work like, whatever it is. Guys, honestly, like, reclaim your time, your energy, your attention, make more money. That's your team, right? Get some systems, build a steam engine, Stam and we could just go get some momentum going down the tracks. And pretty soon you're gonna be.

Yeah, absolutely. So find that worthy struggle and embrace it. It's a beautiful thing when you do.

So, Akshay, I want to. You've been so generous in helping everybody and just sharing all your knowledge. And I've encouraged people to check out your book. That goes without saying. Fear of Honor is on Amazon and we're all fine books are sold with endorsements like these. It's worth a read. I've been through it now once, and I'm going to dig into it more and just start utilizing some of these principles in my life. Because you never stop learning and growing.

Of course.

Thank you for that and the beautiful transcription or inscription, I should say in the book. But also, you know, what can we help you with? Right? This is the Making More Marbles podcast. We come together to collaborate so we can make more. And that looks like connections, resources, opportunities, people, systems, whatever you need that's going to move you forward in your mission so that you can help more people. What can we do for you?

Oh, appreciate you asking. Really, really grateful for that. I mean, right now, literally, it's. Everything is. I just want to get the book into more hands. You know, it's a. We're actually in the pre launch phase of it, as you know, right now, so we're giving away the book for free. It's actually free. Available for free on Fear of Honor. Calm. We just asked you to cover the cost of shipping, but. But yeah, you know, and after that, the prop for any profits we make are going to charities anyway. So. But yeah, for right now, it's just spreading the word of the book. Anything? Anybody listening? Just spreading the word, picking up the book, picking up a few books if you want to pick up for your friends and family, that'd be great too. But just. Yeah, just spreading the word of the book. And because the book is a launchpad for what we're. What I want to be, a fear of honor movement, you know, because really what fear of honor and what the movement that I want to create is combating a world that is constantly trying to make our lives easier. We're living in a world where we measure progress by this new thing that makes our lives easier. But easier is not better, which is why I've always been saying the worthy struggle. Right? So we're going to be creating this fear of honor movement. And that's actually as a result of constantly looking for easier. We're seeing so many more struggles that people are going through. So if the more people we can help find that worthy struggle, the more people come alive. And as Howard Thurman beautifully said, you know, don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive. And I love that quote. It's, I think, very true. So Fear of Honor is a way to do that. We're gonna be building out like a Fear of Honor Academy, Fear of Honor Fitness, Feirvana festivals, Fear of Honor, you know, Fervana Foods, Fearvana in many different area to help people come alive and find their worthy struggles. So for right now, just spreading the book would be great.

Well, since you're really, since you're really good at connecting with amazing people, can you get Dave Grohl to like do a Fearvana Nirvana mashup? That would be kind of rad. I would just. My 8 year old self would be super happy.

I've been working on some people to try to like get a Fearvana anthem, Fear of Honest song going. It's. There's some balls rolling with there. We'll see where it goes.

Smells like fear of honor. All right, Akshay, thank you so much for being on the show and I'll let you back today. Thank you for being here and everybody listening at home and all you Facebook Live people, thanks for being goofy with us. We appreciate you. And follow up with questions in the comments. We'll see them. All right, thanks for having me, brother. Thanks so much. For listening to the Make More Marbles podcast. For more tips, hacks and strategies to create an amazing, abundant life in your health, wealth and relationships, whatever that means to you, head on over to makemoremarbles.com check out our cool explainer video about what we're about and join our community of entrepreneurial game changers. We want to help you level up your life in every possible way. And don't forget to subscribe to us on itunes, Stitcher, or Google Play wherever you listen to your podcast. And please do leave a review. Thank you so much and we'll see you on the next podcast.