Defining Success to be Successful

Today, Shannon, we are going to be successful. In fact, I believe we are successful.

We are. And we're going to share some tips on how we've been able to define success in ways that really impacts our lives and give you some tips on ways that can impact yours.

Yeah, we will share our definitions of success, but as you'll find out through the show, our definitions don't necessarily need to be yours. In fact, yours need to be your own. You might share some with us, of course, and very interestingly, maybe this is why we've been compatible as business partners and friends for so long. But we each share the same number one thing on our definition of success list.

I laugh when you say that, but it's very relevant.

It's so true. When I saw it on your list, I'm like, seriously? Like, that's so. I've never met anybody that has that on their list. So you'll have to listen to hear exactly how we get there, what that is. But.

But yeah, it's good because you can. You'll. You hear my. My four things that how I define success in my life. And excited to share them here today. It's great to stop and write them back down again and push them out.

That's good. And to see them. That's right. Yeah, it's good. It's good.

I love it. I love it.

All right, folks. Well, he is Shannon Jean. I'm Dave Hamilton, and this is the Small business show, episode 253.

All right, Dave, this week we're going to talk about how to define success, and I'm going to tell you how to do it.

Okay, you're going to. You're going to. Well, I think one. First of all, I could use all the help that I can get, so. That sounds great, but I think if we decide that we are going to be successful at defining success, that's. That's a good way to get started.

Yeah, it is. And. And it's part of our, you know, this concept. We discuss a lot about creating your own reality. So we're going to, you know, we know we're already going to be successful from the get go. It's inevitable, right?

It's inevitable as long as our. Our Internet connections work and we're able to make this podcast happen. Sometimes there are external factors, but. But, you know, that's one of my favorite success tools is bullheaded persistence.

Oh, that's really very important.

And I mean, I joke about our Internet connection, but we actually are having or were having a problem. We may have, with bullheaded persistence, gotten around it. And if you're hearing this, we did. So we get the benefit of time shifting to define success. Perhaps that's another tool.

Yeah. And I also think we could do an entire show on persistence and why it's so important. So I'm going to add it to our show ideas list. And I'm being sarcastic when I'm going to tell you the success is because of course, no one can define success the way you know what you want to achieve. But, but you. Right, everyone's definition of success is different. But if you don't have one and you're. You're just kind of running in circles and, you know, grinding it out each day for what?

For what?

So.

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

You don't know what. You don't know what you're trying to achieve.

Yeah, yeah. Well, and this is one of those things where it's. It's difficult because it's easy to get caught up in goal mentality. And as we've discussed many, many times, goals can. They can be nice barometers of how well things are working. But if you define your success by whether or not you hit your goals, that's a very dangerous thing. You will, you will at times be successful by your own definition. However, the problem with a goal is when you hit it, then what you want to keep that momentum going. Right. So this is why goals are dangerous. You want system.

That's correct.

Yeah.

Yeah, we talk about that a lot. And I'm going to delve into it a little bit more later in the show. And you know, I want to start again, this whole concept of you creating it, your definition of success. And it's probably going to be multilayered and, you know, multifaceted, what you want. But I do really like, there's a quote by this guy, coach John Wooden, who's written a bunch of books about success. He's no longer with us. But I really like this concept that he wrote, is that success is peace of mind. And he follows up, which is a direct result of self satisfaction in knowing that you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming. And I really like that. That really resonates with me because it's this internal thing like, okay, whatever I achieve, if I really focus and it is the best I can do, that's okay, right? You know, my kids school, they have this concept, they say we don't ask for perfection, but we want the perfect effort.

Huh.

Which I like as well. And have it plastered all over their gym and everything else. And the coaches, it's a big mantra for them. And so I like that it's there.

There is. You know, and you and I are in similar phases of raising our kids, so my guess is that you probably, at the same time we did, like, when my kids were in elementary school and very early in middle school, there was a very strong message of everybody gets a trophy. And. And I don't know if that was a nationwide thing, I would.

I would say yes.

Yeah. Okay. Well, that has backed off quite a bit, at least in our community and here. Not that. Not that people have gotten mean. It's just a little more realistic that, you know, you do need to. You do need to have results in order to have success of. Of some sort. I mean, it. But your success compared to somebody else's. That doesn't make any sense. Your business is your business. And I always say, it doesn't matter who my competitors are or how they're doing. I am my biggest obstacle. They are not the ones keeping me from doing the next thing that I want to do. It's me that's keeping me. And I could certainly spend a lot of time looking at my competitors saying, oh, crap, they're doing that and that and that better than me. It's like, well, that's fine. But while you spent your time doing that, they also did another thing better than you that you didn't even try to do because you were worrying about what they were doing. Don't worry about it. Just go do your own thing. So I. So I do like this, that. That mentality of. Of your. Your kids. School. I like it. It's.

It.

It is. I bring up the everybody gets a trophy thing because it is a. To me, it's. There's a difference there. The two certainly could live in the same world, but they don't have to. So. Yeah, yeah.

And it is. It is a precursor to the real world. You know, my kid goes to this, you know, high school that's kind of very well known for sports. And they, you know, there was a movie about it because they. I don't know, they won 10 years. I think they never lost a football game. You know, he goes to the school called De La Salle.

Okay.

And so it's a brutal precursor to life because lots of kids that are rock stars, maybe on the way up to high school don't make the teams here.

Oh, yeah.

It's a very narrow funnel, and you. You see it across The. And, you know, my kids been through it. I have friends that, you know, that have been through it that were just shocked and blown away. But most of the parents I talked to, like, oh, it was a really good lesson, because then we worked at this, and we did this. It's like, hey, you're not going to get everything and this.

So, no, that's a life lesson right there. You're not going to make every team you try out for. Right. And if you are, you're not trying out for the right teams.

Yes, correct. Not challenging.

You're not challenging yourself.

Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, on. On this concept of. Of, you know, defining success, I think what you. You have to ask yourself and. And a book that I really love and that we'.

Lot.

The E. Myth, asks this, what do you really want? You have to really ask yourself this. You know, it's another way to define, you know, what it means for you to be successful. I mean, do you want more time? Of course. You want more money? Maybe. Do you want accolades? Do you want fame? Do you want to build a great culture with your business? Do you want to help others succeed? What is it? And I would highly recommend that you define that and. And keep it to where you see it all the time. If you don't want to share it, maybe some. Some of them. But I would say you should share it. You know, looking at it and to your point, Dave, it's not a competition. You have to dig deep and take the time to figure it out for yourself.

Yeah. If you're. If you're competing with anyone, it's yourself.

Yes.

Yeah.

You got it. Yeah. And I would. I would say you should share that the. How you define success, because if you don't, you can wind up at different spots. You know, if you don't tell. If you and your partner. If you have a business partner and you each have different definitions of success, at least for your business.

Yeah.

Because you're going to have different personal ones. Of course. But if you. If you can't align your definitions of success for your. For your business, you. It could lead to some big problems.

Oh, yeah, right.

And yeah.

Yeah. You go back to the partnership episodes.

That's right. And some people, I mean, I can recall had. I had a partner at one company, and it seemed like we were really going through, in my opinion, some hard times. And I. And I. I came home and I told my wife Renee, I said, wow, you know, I'm really going to have to knuckle down and probably put in some More hours, because we have to get through this struggle and this other thing. And literally the next day, my partner came in and said, you know, the way things are going now, I'm going to start not coming in on Fridays.

What?

And neither of us were wrong, but we had an entirely different perception of. Of what it was going to take.

To be successful, what success meant. Yeah.

Yeah. And he really just was happy, kind of. He's super. A great guy. Very smart. Smarter than me. Good. You know, in many different things. But he was just kind of like, okay, we're here, and I get this check every couple weeks, and I'm pretty happy. So I. The next thing for me is to.

Work less is to detach. Right?

Yes. And he could have been right. I don't know. I. I looked at it and go, wow, we have to power through this kind of thing. Ultimately, you. You probably wouldn't be surprised to hear we were not partners much.

Right.

Another year or so. Then we finally had a conscious decoupling, if you will, of the. Of the business.

That's not surprising. Yeah.

Yeah. Because we had different. So I. I would share it and. And I would say, you know, coming back to your. The competitor thing, I really wish I was better at that, but I've often, if I look back on it and I'm being honest, I found myself chasing someone else's definition of success. Oh.

I do it all the time. I. I have to say it in. In, like, whenever I get the chance. Yeah. Like, I say it here, A, because it's.

It.

I know that it's right. But B, I need to hack my own brain.

Yeah, you have to. Yeah. That's why you have to tell yourself. I mean, I've constantly, you know, as during my business career, looked at the size of their business, how many customers, what kind of press coverage you're getting, you know, how much money I think you're making.

Well, that's the thing is. You don't know. I don't know is. Is it's like looking on Facebook. Right. The. What we all publish about ourselves is our highlight reel.

Yeah.

Right. The only time you hear bad news about somebody's business is when it's like, at the very end. You know, there's all kinds of problems that are hidden beneath the surface. They're hidden, they're hidden, they're hidden. And then suddenly it all comes crashing down. And you see that for, you know, like, two weeks before, and then it's just over. You're like, what? You have not. Yeah. And you're like, how did that happen? It's like, well, because you didn't actually know what was going on.

You didn't know. No one knows.

You don't. Well, they do hope. Hopefully they do.

Right?

But. But yeah, that's the trick is don't worry about them because you don't have the whole picture. Even if you did, it's probably not going to be as valuable as just ignoring them, but certain.

And you find. You find yourself blindly competing without purpose.

I like this. Blindly competing. You know, it's one thing if you and I were to stand next to each other on a. On a racetrack, you know, and run. Right. I know exactly where you are in relation to me. Like, one of us is going to make it to the finish line first. I don't know what's going through your head, mind you, I assume, but I'm probably wrong. But like, that's not blind competition.

You can see it. Oh, I need to run faster because this guy's. This guy's going to kick it right at the end. Yeah, exactly. You know what you're up against.

But if you and I are. Are running businesses and we're not talking like this every week, or, heck, maybe even if we are and we start, you know, I start comparing myself to you, it's like, well, I don't. I mean, yeah, okay, he has more customers than me, but what are his costs? Like, is he managing those? Well, am I doing better at running my business than. I don't know. What I do know is, am I doing better at running my business today than I was six months ago or a year ago? And that's the thing to think about. But, yeah, I like that. Blind competition. Avoid blind competition. Yeah, man. Yeah, that's good. I like.

That's cool. That's great.

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I know.

Yeah, they really, every time I say that, but it's really true.

It's true. Yeah, it's great, man.

And we've, we've had Greg on the show here, and it's a great story, and it's just a great product.

Agreed.

Cool.

Agreed. It is one of those things that when, if, for some reason I've accidentally quit textexpander on my computer, I know it within, like, certainly within an hour, if not sooner. It's like, wait, why isn't my keyboard working anymore? Well, my keyboard works fine. It's just that it doesn't have text expander connected to it. So I relaunched the app or whatever, you know, and then things are fine. Yeah.

Yeah. So jump back into this, you know, competing with the. Blindly competing without purpose. It's an easy trap to fall into. I've done it myself. I, I, you have to constantly remind, at least I do. And Dave, sounds like you do as well, reminding yourself of what's important to you, you know, oh, I don't have a hundred thousand followers, but maybe you have a thousand followers that are more profitable than those. A hundred thousand for your business.

If you want more followers, you can go on fiverr and somebody will get them. You can get them. They're not going but yeah, get them if you want.

So what it, you know, it took me a long time and I do write and I write these down. I wrote them down here in my notes today on kind of my definition of success in my life. And they've changed over time.

Right.

It's a normal thing that you, you're adjusting them because you're creating this system. Right. It's not this one thing. I want to, I'm going to be. I want to make X number of dollars or whatever you're going to do, you know, And I have four things that always stick out in a row. Not today. I'm going to share them with you now. Okay.

Yeah.

And I'll give you, I'll give you some background on them because they sound a little weird. But the number one thing that, how I define success is I want to have laughter in my life every day.

And this is amazing to me. I want to hear your story here. But when I was in college, I told myself my goal for my life was to wake up laughing every day. If I could wake up laughing, things were good.

That's the point. Yeah, right. Laughter is an indicator.

Right. It's an, it's a system. It's, it's, it's a byproduct of a working system, not a goal. That's really interesting. Yeah, yeah.

Now I can't say I wake up that way every day.

No, it's hard. That's hard.

I'm not a morning person and I force myself to get up and, you know, go, go attack the day, if you will. But if you can laugh each day, there's something going. Right, Right.

Yeah.

There's always things that don't go right with all of us, of course, but, you know, all that kind of stuff. But, but that one is really. The second thing is I want to be relied upon. And what I mean is that in a broader sense, I guess is I want to have an impact on people's life. And whether it's my kids, my wife, my employees, my partners, my co host, I want to be relied upon. I'm reliable. And you ask me to do something even if you don't ask me, I'm going to do it.

You're going to get it done?

Yeah, I'm going to get it done. And I'm a reliable guy. And it has made all the difference. And that, that's a real. That's how I define success.

People become reliable. I like that one. Yeah, that's good. That's good.

And then the other two you know, I want to be continuously learning. I'm just. I love it. You know, flood the data into me. Always reading. We talk about books all the time. I always comment how I learned the most. On this show. We have all these guests. I learned from you, Dave, that you're creating a system of keeping your brain working. You know, all this new stuff and new people that I get to learn just on this. It's. It's incredible. And it is definitely one of the ways I define success for me. And then the last one, which, you know, may. Maybe I don't. They're. No necessarily. Order. But I want to have financial independence.

Well, that helps with the laughter every day.

It does. But I would say, and I've said this before many times, I have felt rich my whole life. Even when I was broke. I mean, even when I owed millions of dollars, I've always felt this. The rich. And that is. I've kind of felt independent. And I think more. It was a confidence thing that I learned early on when I started building businesses, that I could always make a buck.

Well, that's the thing I want to redefine or I want to define what financial independence means to me, because when a lot of people hear that term, they think, wow, it must be nice, you know, that's right.

I don't mean that they think that.

You'Ve got, you know, millions or billions and you don't have to do anything, and it's just all taken care of. And certainly that is one version of financial independence.

It is.

It is not my version because I'm not there yet. But I. I'm like you. Even when things have been, you know, on the outside and to be perfectly honest, on the inside, you know, bleak. Right? Like, oh, crap, we've been spending more than we're making and, you know, the cash pile is dwindling, and we're thinking about using that. That line of credit that we know that we only use in emergencies. Like, all of that stuff is happening. I still feel financially independent. I feel responsible, too. Like, I've gotten myself into that scenario, but I can get myself out. Like, there's. Now maybe getting myself out involves doing some things that I would rather not do, like wind up this business and start a different one or whatever. Right. But I always feel like I have more faucets that I can go and open up now. It might take a lot of work to open those faucets and, you know, more than they currently are. But, like, we could. If you and I, it would. It would. Well, I don't know. That would have to be. Simultaneously, either one of us ran into a scenario where cash flow, you know, stopped or whatever. We could focus more energy into what we do with this show.

Oh, yeah.

And expand the revenue stack of this show. Right. So I look at this as a piece of my financial independence. Even though at the moment, I mean, it certainly brings some money in, but it's not money that, that like, pays my mortgage or things like that. Right. So. But it could be, and I know that it could be. And, and I, and like you said, that confidence and, and you need to just prove this to yourself. We can all do it, but you need to just try and learn that. Yeah, you know what? I can, I can go do something and make money. That's, to me, that's financial independence.

That's what it is. You know, I, like, I didn't put, oh, I want to be real. I want to have a bunch of money. I have that. No, it is. I want to be financial independent. And I will say, coming back from owing a lot of money, I've often felt more financially independent than other times when I've had a bunch of money. Right. Because I feel confident, like, okay, I'm not go, you know, if something, if everything goes to hell tomorrow, I can figure out another way to generate cash and, and go. So that's what I mean by financially.

Yeah.

Those four things are really, in a nutshell, but they're kind of, you know, a lot of them are indicators for, you know, things on a broader, you know, sense. And, you know, it may take you many dozens, you know, hundreds, thousands of small steps to achieve whatever that your definition of success is. But without the definition, it's going to. Going to be much harder to create a system to get you where you want to be and you can miss out. I think it can kind of sometimes pass you by and you're like, wow, you know, I wish I would have defined that and thought about it that way sooner because I could have guided my life in a different, maybe in a different direction.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, right. I mean, yeah, you're, you're constantly learning, but yeah, this is. Yeah, it's fascinating.

It's good. So that's kind of my take on, on this concept. But. But I do want to dive in a little deeper into the systems versus goals and how it relates because I think it is relatable related to this definition of success. So I want to use a couple of examples. Like, again, it related to money. Okay. I want to generate or I want to make 100 grand a year. That's a goal, right?

That is a goal.

It's a goal. But you know, a better way to phrase it and to create a system, I want to continually improve my skills to see my income steadily increase. Right. It's open ended. And you immediately can start to get positive feedback of success as your income begins to increase.

Right? That's it. And you don't have to wait until you get like there's two, there's two sides to this that are both positives. Number one is if you go with the ladder, the system. If, let's say you're making $10,000 a year, right. And you want it like you could set your goal to be 100, fine, you're not going to be happy until you hit that 100. However, if you get to 11 and, and your system is number two here, right, where you're just continually increasing like, well, you know what, the system is working. You get to pat yourself on the back and, and then, so that's, that's benefit number one. Because now you can laugh a little bit like, I did it, I'm doing it. When you get to 100, well what happens, you know, at the next go round? You're not stopping. When you get to 100, you're like, well, the system's working, I'm increasing my, my income. And the next time you look it's like, oh, it's 105. Yeah, great, perfect.

Yeah.

I spoke to a group of publishers at Google, I don't know, six weeks ago or something, and I talked about this goals versus systems thing and I told them goals, goals were for losers and they thought I was crazy. But I had them all put their hands in the air. I said, how, how many people here want to double their revenue? And, and I also asked about doubling their traffic because it was a group of publishers, you know, and everybody's hands went in the air. I said, cool. How many people here want to stop when you get to that point where you've doubled it and everybody's hand went down? Well, except one guy because he was just being, you know, he was being that guy. Which was fine. But you know, like that's the thing is you don't want to stop when you get to that hundred grand a year because once you get there you're going to be spending more than you are now anyway.

Yeah, yeah. And it's an artificial stopping point.

And it's also, yeah, why give yourself the artificial stopping point of a goal? That's the key.

Yep, you got it. And it's you. You are setting yourself up for failure. Are you going to be a failure if you made 90 grand? Well, if you think in terms of goals, you're like, oh, I didn't make my goal, but look how much, you know, look how you got what you got there. And the other thing a system does is it provides feedback and allows you to make changes much more effectively than this goal. And you don't know what, you know, how you can do it. But if you go out, okay, I'm making 10 grand, I want to make a hundred, and you made a thousand. Okay, well, what change did you put in place to make that thousand? Can I keep doing that?

Keep doing it. That's right.

And keep adjusting. And then maybe you make 15, all of a sudden you can't make anymore. Well, I need to make another change. I'm going to do it. So this system that you're working on and once you blow through that 100,000 mark, well, that system just keeps adjusting and keeps growing and growing and growing. And you know, you don't get tunnel vision on this single, you know, goal at the end here. And it's really powerful. And, and the goals are limiting. You know, they, they, and I think they cause you also to miss out on other opportunities that might come along because you kind of get tunnel vision. Right. And life doesn't work that way. At least my life doesn't.

No, same.

Yeah. You know, yeah. So there's way more opportunities out there. So if your system comes along and you're like, okay, well, I'm just. All I'm interested in is improving my skills, my talent stack, if you will, and you know, to increase and steadily increase my revenue. I can do anything. Maybe I need to take on another job. Maybe I need to start a different business, maybe a different side hustle, whatever it is. That system you're creating is broad and, you know, it's kind of self fulfilling, I think.

Yeah, yeah.

And I also want to call out, you know, as mentioned, Scott Adams, where I think a lot of this originated in his book. Uh, and we'll, we'll link it back to in, in the show. Notes that Scott, he didn't come up with the original concept, I don't think, but he really refined it, I think in a powerful way that we rely on, you know, we talk about here all the time. One last example that I'll leave you with that really impacted me dramatically is I, I've wanted to write a book for a long time. And I wanted to talk about my success in social commerce. And you've heard me talk about, on the show this experiment that I started a few years ago. But it. It just seemed like such a daunting task right way out there. I got to have this big book, and I had to stop myself and reprogram, you know, my brain. It's like, okay, well, I created a system to first become a better writer. And I began by writing an article each week, and I used the Grammarly app to correct the kind of common mistakes that I made, but they also made me feel like not that good of a writer. And I was kind of feeling inferior. So I was like, well, okay, I got to get this tool. So it helped me. And I wrote every single week for just about almost a year, 10, 11 months. Wrote an article, published stuff on the blog, did some different things. Some of it I didn't publish. But all of a sudden, I had over 250 pages of content, and I had gone through this editing, you know, and didn't have to go hire somebody, all this kind of stuff. And I felt confident enough to publish the book. And so now I sell copies of the book every single day. And it's not a huge moneymaker for me, but it's part of this greater system. I want to write another book.

Well, and now it contributes to your version, your definition of financial independence. You know, that if you needed to, now you have this experience. I don't even want to say you have this skill, although that's one way to look at it, but you have this experience, this confidence that, okay, well, if I. If I need to do something, writing another book could be it. And you could spend more time marketing it, for example.

That's right.

You know, or you could spend more time marketing your existing book, for example. Like, you have all these assets, and you can. You can leverage them in more ways than you currently do. So, yeah, creating these things, even if you're not. You know, I am certainly guilty of doing a lot of things, creating a lot of things and not building each of them to their, you know, pinnacle moment. But part of that is safety, right? Like, I could build them to their pinnacle moment. And that is. That means I don't have to start something new. I've. That there's my financial independence, okay? If everything else falls away, I'll hang on to this thing and I'm going to ride it into the sunset and it's going to go, because now I'm spending all my time and focus on this. So yeah.

And it all adds to your revenue stack, right?

Well, yes, it adds to your revenue stack in the process. That's right.

Right. Yeah. Yeah, in the process. So. So it's great. And, you know, part of the. The system of success we try to create here is to help each other help small businesses. I get help from Dave. You know, we give each other feedback and, you know, we would love to get some feedback from you. Love to get a review of the Small Business show podcast. And there's an easy way to do it if you're on a Mac. At least launch the new podcast app. Find us up there. Just search for Small Business Show. Well, we should be in your subscriptions anyway, right? In your library.

That's true.

Just sc. Scroll down to the bottom where it says ratings and reviews, and you'll see a link there that says write a review. We would love to have you do that. It really, really helps us a lot.

It makes a huge difference for us. Yeah, for sure. It's crazy. Even one review helps immensely because we suddenly jump up on the charts. Now more people listen. That helps. Yeah, but, well, you're all.

You're all business owners out there, right? Or aspiring small business owners. And you know how important your reviews are, whether it's on Yelp or something like that. It's the same with us. We'd love to have some feedback and we appreciate you taking about 30 seconds or so and leave us a review and give us some good feedback. We'd love it.

We'd love it. We truly would. Yep. And if you don't have the Apple podcast app because you're not on a Mac or you're on the older version or whatever businessshow Co reviews will get you there. We'll put a link in the show notes at BusinessShow Co as well. Well, I guess that's all we got today, Shannon. I think we were.

I think so.

You know why it was successful is we did what we do and we got to the end of the show. Here we are.

That's right. I'm ready to go. I feel energized, which is always great after the show.

Yeah.

And I appreciate you hanging out and talking today.

Thanks so much, folks. Thank you, Shannon. And we'll. We'll see you next week. Keep living that charmed Life, folks. Visit textexpander.com podcast as well. Check out them.