The Power of Presumed Failure

Business Brain Episode 550 for Casual Friday, May 17th National Bike to Work Day 2024. Greetings, folks and welcome to Business Brain, the show where we take an idea or three, we crunch it, we dissect it, we analyze it, we use it to tune our business brains every single episode. This episode is sponsored by LinkedIn Jobs, where you can go post your first job for free if you go to LinkedIn.com businessbrain. We'll talk more about that in a little bit. For now, here in Durham, New Hampshire, I'm Dave Hamilton.

And in Lafayette, California, I'm Shannon Jean. Happy Friday.

Happy Friday. Hey, we got a note into feedback at BusinessBrain show from Sam, who says, over the years I have found myself having negative reactions when I get emails from people with certain phrases in them, including do we want to. I'm just following up. I just wanted to check in. I hope you're doing well. As such, I have learned to avoid using them, but I'm curious what you guys think and are there other phrases I should add to my list to avoid? This is good. I, you know, the whole soft approach to like, it seems like a good idea when you're the one writing the email. It's like, oh, I want to be conversational. I want to like, you know, but it, when I'm reading it, it's like, you know, I hope you're doing well. It's like, okay, I mean that you don't know. That might be true sometimes, but if it's like, I hope you're doing well. I wanted to check in. Right. Like put two of them together. I wanted to check in on that order I sent you. I saw a thing that, what that does is it communicates a version of desperation. Right. That I wanted to check in. I'm just following.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's a bad way to say it.

Yep. It's. I was thinking about you, you know, and sometimes implying like I had a minute in the day and I realized I hadn't heard back from you on this, you know, implying that like, I've got a lot going on, I'm productive and I had a break and I thought about you and I'm wondering where you are on this thing, you know, that kind of thing.

Yeah, yeah. The whole hope you're doing well and I just wanted to follow. Those are. Yeah, I don't like them either. And you know, Google, if you use Gmail, they have a whole raft of pre selected ones and I'm like, avoid, avoid, avoid. Because I've had somebody call me out. Did you just select this from the. No, I really did not. Yeah, yeah, I like to, you know, if you really want to check in with somebody, I like to say, hey, I hope things are terrific.

Oh, there you go.

And just different. Different language. And I like that word terrific a lot.

But I've learned to just cut to the chase. Like, hey, checking in on this order. Where are we with that?

That's really what you're doing, a service to everyone. When you're in a friendly manner, you just. You just do it. You just jump right into the topic.

Yeah, friendly manner, right. Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, yeah. I'm not yelling at them, like, all caps. Like, why are you an idiot? And you haven't replied. Like, no, that's not.

Well, email especially is the worst. To try to have asynchronous conversations back and forth.

Right.

You got to get. I mean, if you're doing it all the time with a certain party, you got to get into another app or something to be able to.

Yeah.

If you can communicate.

But like, or something more and more email communication has become like text message communication. Very, very brief. And it's efficient. That's it.

It is efficient.

Where is this?

Yes.

Great. Thanks.

Yes.

Boom.

Yes, I agree. And not having to follow up with thanks, thanks, because that's the worst. You have to open up, wait. And then at least now you get a preview of it. So you can go delete, delete, delete, and go through it. But yeah, I like the phrases to avoid. I think that's good. It's just avoid any phrase that everybody's, you know, they have a nice days. Right.

Yes.

It's, you know, come on. I like when you go into places, you know, I don't mind, like, welcome in. If you walk in some place, they say, hey, hey, welcome in. You know, that's cool. That's all right.

Yeah. Something. Yeah. Saying hello. That's fine. I mean, we're human.

That's nice.

Yeah. But email, you're already, like, you probably already saying, hey, Shannon. You know, like starting out with it. Sometimes if it's an exchange that we're having quickly back and forth. I'll skip the, The. All the pleasantries and be like, yeah, I got that. I'm doing the thing. Great. Okay, thanks. Bye. You know, there you go.

Y. I love these companies that allow you to chat with them instead of email back and forth where you can just go right into your messages app, like on my phone. I love, love, love that. Because I'm in there all day anyway. And if I can have that conference conversation where I can see the threaded nature of it over time, yes, that's a winner for me. Man, that gets my business. So.

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Okay.

I was gonna go for this event called pepcom, which is like a media event where I get to meet with like, I don't know, this one's the smaller of the ones that I generally go to. It was like 20 or 30 companies. They all have tables and it's like a three hour pitching.

Products.

Yeah, they're. They're okay. Yeah, it's like, like new products that, like, I'll see, right? I'll see new, like robot vacuums and things like that.

That's awesome.

Yeah, yeah, it's a great way. It's like speed dating with the press. So I was planning on going for this. I was going to go down. It's a Thursday night thing. I was going to take the train down on Thursday morning and then the train back on Thursday night. So like an all day kind of thing. But it's worth it to me. And I had scheduled it so that I could meet with a sponsor whose offices are in New York. And it was great. Like, no problem.

Yeah.

On Monday I send the sponsor a note like, hey, you know, just like confirming, essentially.

Did you say, I hope you're doing well?

No, I said, I'm looking forward to seeing you on Thursday.

There you go.

Because it was true. Perfect. And they wrote me back and they're like, oh, my gosh, schedule problem. We're supposed to be at the IAB Internet Advertising Bureau's podcast up front all day Thursday in New York. Will you be at that? If so, we could meet. And I'm like, crap. I don't like, I don't like. I've never gone to the upfronts. The upfronts are a thing that happens in the advertising business where brands, sponsors come and like the, the, the, the people who would be spending money, you know, sponsors or ad agencies or whatever, they all come, they're invited, and then the brands pay to put on a little dog and pony show for the sponsors, telling them about the new shows that they have coming up later in the year. Right. Trying to wet people's whistles. And it, it makes a lot of sense in like TV for sure, because you've got seasonal things and schedule things. It, yeah, for sure. It makes sense in radio. I don't, I'm still not sure it makes sense for podcasting.

But who's pitching it? The agent podcast, like agencies or individual podcasts.

Like, like, we could pay to pitch this show there. We could. Or back. We could, right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. NPR pays to pitch whatever. And so it was like, I don't want to go to this thing, but okay, like, let me look. Because I like, I'm not the type of person that they prioritize having there in the seats. Right. They want, they want buyers in the seats. And we certainly do some media buying here at Backbeat. You know, there's the shows we represent and then we'll buy media for the sponsors we work with on shows that we don't represent. And so like, it's there, but it's. I'm not, I've never been Invited. And so I was like, well, let me see if I can get a ticket. That's first of all. And I kind of assumed that I couldn't, but I went on the website and I signed up and I got a ticket. And I was like, dang it. And I'm, like, sitting there on the couch. You have to go grumbling and, like, swearing and, you know, saying the F word a lot. And Lisa's like, what's. What's going on? I'm like, I gotta. I gotta go to New York. She's like, yeah, you know, But I'm like, no, I got. Now I gotta go Wednesday night and stay over and then go to the thing all day and then go to pepcom and come home. And she's like, okay. And I'm like, but I get to meet with this company and potentially several others, and, like, it'll be fine. So I get over myself and I change my train ticket. I booked the hotel room. All good. So I'm taking the train in on Wednesday afternoon, and I get an email. Your application for a pass for tomorrow has been rejected.

What?

Yeah. And I went and looked back at my original email, and it was like, you are confirmed. This is one ticket for. For the. It wasn't.

Wow.

It wasn't. We will review this. Now, if they had told me on Monday, we will review this, I wouldn't have bought a train ticket. I wouldn't. Of course, a hotel room, right? But it was like, what the f. And so I'm literally on the train, like, while this is happening, because the train has WI fi and I'm, like, doing some stuff because I'm getting work done. And so I replied to them. I was like, hey, like, on a. I get it. That you might decide I'm not the person you want to be there, but today's the wrong day. Like, I've already laid out.

You're en route.

I'm en route. I've laid out money based on your confirmation. I went back and looked at the confirmation email. Like, did I misread this? Because I could have. I was moving quickly, and I was like, didn't. Didn't expect it to work. So when I saw something positive, I was like, dang it. Like, I gotta go now. And so I never heard back from him, Right? Like, business day ended. I went out, I had dinner with a friend in New York, checked into my hotel, and so I woke up the next morning, and I'm like, well, how's this gonna go? And I walked the. Whatever, six Blocks from where I had a hotel to this event.

Okay.

Like, as I'm walking there, like, I am assuming that they are not gonna let me in. And I was like, wow, that's. Wait, that's really powerful here. Because I'm walking in with the power of presumed failure. Like, I'm. I'm expecting to arrive and have them turn me away. So, like, I have my. My. My story to tell. Right. And I'm practicing my delivery of like, okay, wait a minute. I'd heard a. Someone had used a generalization to describe New Yorkers in general. Right. And all generalizations are wrong, but they also have some truth. And. Right. And. And what they said was. And they were contrasting to other cities. They won't share the other cities, but they were saying in New Yorkers are not polite, but they are kind. And I've spent a lot of time in New York. I grew up near New York. And it's like, that's true that people aren't going to waste a lot of time with pleasantries. But if. If you're somewhere in the city and, like, you are in a scenario where you need help, someone will help you. Like, they might not even say a word to you, but they will help you and then go on their way like this. And in general, again, these are generalizations. And so I was like, okay, wait a minute. I'm going to be dealing with a New Yorker. Like, the person who they have staffing the desk is from New York. Right. They either work for the IAB in New York or they're someone that they've hired for this event today.

So I'm like, so you want to be direct? I'm going to be direct.

Kind, but kind. Like, I could go in and, like, you know, raise the roof and be like, oh, my, you screwed me and F you and all this stuff.

That's a bad, but.

But A, that's not probably not going to get me what I want. And B, I'm going to be doing this in front of other people, many of whom know me by sight. So do I want to be the one that's caught having a tantrum? No, Obviously. Right, Right. So I'm like, okay. So I have this thing that the whole way through, I'm like, I'm gonna, like, I'm probably gonna just go back to my hotel and get some work done during the day and then head off to Petcom, and the worst thing can happen. That's the worst thing. Right. And so I kind of come to this realization then I was like, oh, now I'm super comfortable walking into this scenario. And I walked in, and I go to check in, and they're like, let me look you up. You need to go talk to them over there. They'll hand you your badge. Okay, sounds great. So I go and I talk to them at the other thing, and they're like, you need to talk to the person at the very end of the table. Like, you know, escalating me up. And I, of course, know why, obviously.

Yes.

Yeah.

But you hadn't said anything yet about the messages.

Right. I just figured I'd walk in and say, I'm Dave Hamilton, and. And I, you know, if you want to see my. My email approval, I have that ready to go on my phone. Yeah, obviously. Yeah. And so finally there's somebody else in front of me having some similar issue or whatever, and they, you know, they finally get to me. I'm like, hey, I'm Dave Hamilton. And she looks. She says, yeah, I see you have a registration here that was canceled. And I'm like, yeah, I got a weird email about that yesterday. It didn't really make sense. I'm like, I, you know, I got my confirmation ticket. I can show it to you on Monday. And that's when I bought a train ticket in a hotel. And I, you know, I. I was direct about it, made sure they understood the order of events, and all of this was true. I didn't mention that I was going to New York anyway to Pepcom, but I did pay extra for the train ticket the day before. And of course, I got a hotel room. Of course, that was on Marriott points. But again, yes, you know, that's irrelevant. The points were spent like, you know, it was a done deal.

Money.

Yep. So I. I delivered the story in a way that was most optimal for my desired outcome, but I wasn't necessarily expecting them to bend any rules for me. And the woman's like, yeah, you put your title as publisher and podcaster. Because that's just what I put anytime anybody asked me for my title. And she was like, that's the problem here. And I'm like, oh, okay, do you want to change my title? She's like, no, I don't care. She's like, I'm just going to approve your ticket. You're here. She's like, yeah, you know, like, they did, like, cancel.

That's the right thing to do. That is the right thing to do.

And I was nice again. I was kind to her, but I was direct. I never said, like, I mean, I Think I said, I'm hoping you can help me. You know, those kinds of things. Offering a little bit of vulnerability, like, because she's the one in power. It's not me, you know, But I wasn't groveling or anything, and I wasn't over. I wasn't pouring on all the extra niceties, but I was being kind. And it was.

The meeting was. Yeah. Was the meeting you were having important enough to where if you couldn't get in, that would have been a problem?

It turns out, yes.

Okay.

And I did not know. I thought this was just to say, say hi. I. You know, I always say that conferences, whatever they are, are good for reminding one another that we'. There's a new person on this particular account at this one company, and I'd never met them before. They haven't done any business with us in a couple of years. There's been some. They used to do business, a ton of business with us, like five plus years ago. And we got lost in the institutional memory as people moved out of their jobs. And when I went with. And when I finally met with this person, they were like, oh, this is great timing. Like, oh, my gosh, we definitely need to be working with you. We. We are currently planning all of the second half of the year in these next two weeks, so this is perfect timing. And it was like, oh, I. I had no idea how important this meeting was.

Yeah. It's interesting because, you know, this power of presumed failure, it's kind of the opposite of the way I always preach about thinking, like, oh, you'll get in. You just have to think that I've got it, I've got it. You know, so it's, it's.

And I did that too, right?

Yeah.

Like, it was both of those things. I acted, like, confident enough. Correct.

You're walking in, you're being friendly, your confidence, like, well, I. I should be here. I'm in the industry. I'm not trying to, you know, into something.

Right. I mean, based on the title that I put in there, I should not have been allowed in.

I see.

Based on everything we do here, yes, I should have been allowed in. But they didn't know. Like, all they have to go on is what I told them in advance, which was enough to bounce me. And of course, now I know how not to present myself again in the future. But no, they, but they, they did it. And the woman realized, like, okay, well, we can't bounce this guy while he's on a train down here. Like that. That's kind Of a, you know. Yeah, it's not the best.

Not a good move.

No. Yeah, she didn't even flinch. She's like, no, I'm just gonna print you a thing.

Yeah, that's great. That's. That's the right answer. That was good that she handled it that way, because she could be having a different discussion.

Yeah. If, you know, it's a similar discussion. Discussion. I mean, it was the same story coming in, different outcome. I act. You're right. I acted confident. I acted like everything was going to work out in the way I wanted it to, but in my head, I assumed it would not. And that really allowed me to go into this very calmly because it. There was never. What it prevented me from ever doing was getting to a desperation moment. Like, yeah, if she had said no, I would have pushed a little bit. And then. If she had said no, and I kind of did push a little bit, she's like, well, it was canceled. And that's when I shared. I bought the tickets, you know, yachty.

Yeah.

And then she. And then that was all it took. But if she pushed back again, I would have been like, okay, thanks. And I would have. I would have peaced out. I would have texted the person I was going to meet with and said, can we meet across the street at a coffee shop? Like, there you go. Like, you know, and it would have solved the problem a different way. But that presumed failure allowed me not to get desperate, which I think is actually what helped me get in.

Yeah, I like it. And had you not gotten in, we could have had a. This could have been a show about customer service disasters.

Yes.

And how not to handle, you know, this kind of thing. When you issue a yes confirmation, and then later you go back.

Yeah.

A day later when someone has, you know, they're on their way to your event, that kind of thing. So it's interesting. I mean, and we've done a. We've done a couple episodes about the power of going to these conferences and trade events and everything. If you go up to businessbrain show and just search for probably conference or trade show, something like that, I think that they're very powerful. Especially this day where so many of us are working remotely. Yeah. And not connecting. If you get an opportunity to go and meet with people and, you know, put a face behind the people that you're talking to each day, it's really powerful, and it makes you stand out. It's the same thing with. When you have employees, people that work from home. You want to try to make Your presence known occasionally. That's one of the problems, I think, with the work from home is you get overlooked because it's out of sight, out of mind. And I think it's the same thing with the vendor, suppliers, or client relationship. If you get a chance to talk and grab a cup of coffee or just face to face, it's awesome.

That's it. Yeah. I mean, my, that meet, I did wind up kind of running into other people, so it, it wound up being a great day. But even like that one meeting was, I mean, if it was five minutes, I don't like it. That's all it needed to be. You know, I always say, and I think I even said this to the person I was meeting with, like, you know, email's great for sending data back and forth. It's great for numbers and details and all that, but we don't get to do this. And so let's just do this. I can, and I'll tell you about our shows and, you know, like, all of that, because I can read the responses, like, as in real time, be like, oh, this is great. And they were like, wait, we've been on your shows before. I was like, yeah, like, oh, wait, that could be. We could tie that in. I actually told them about how I use. They were like, I know our creative gets a little stale sometimes, so we're really encouraging hosts to, to do. I'm like, well, here at Backbeat, we can do that for you. I said, for my shows, I've even started using Chat GPT to take the creative and reword it for me so that it's not stale. And he was like, oh, my gosh, that's brilliant. I was like, all right, great. Now I've made an impression. That's all I need. Which I can do in three to five minutes. You know, an hour is too long sometimes.

Yeah, but just a brief thing, you know, smile, get, you know, this kind of stuff. Share some anecdote like you're talking about. Like, that can make a huge impression on people. That's cool.

Yeah.

And folks, I'm glad it all worked out.

Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, me too. And if, if you didn't know, I do use Chat GPT to write the ad scripts, including the one that you heard in this show. I take all the stuff that we get from the sponsor, I plug it in and I say, write me a, you know, whatever, 60 second AD script, make it funny, use our catchphrase, use, you know, talk about the charmed life. And what's great, I will read it cold. Most 80% of the time, what you hear on the show is me for the first time reading what Chat GPT. Because then you get my reactions to it and sometimes what is that? You know? And I'll. I'll even say it, like, I. I don't know that it's happened on this show, but I'll say, well, that's a weird thing for Chat GPT to make me say. And then I just keep going. Yeah. You know, but it makes it engaging.

Yeah. Yeah. It's insistent for all of us.

Yeah.

And we haven't done an AI show in a while. Maybe we should dip back into it and talk about the tools and the way we use it. Yeah, I use it every day. It's. It's awesome.

It's awesome.

But, yeah, make sure you. These. Like I said, these shows will be out Wednesday and Friday. And then join us next week where we have Tyler Purcell coming on to talk about his chain of laundromats as well as his financial planning business.

Nice.

Can be great.

I'm looking forward.

Combination. Yeah, me too.

Yeah. My guess is there's going to be threads that connect it all.

I think so. Yeah.

Thanks for hanging out with us, folks. Have a great weekend. Keep living that charmed life. We'll see you next week.