GATOS muy DEPENDIENTES e HIPERAPEGO | Tienes una RELACIÓN TÓXICA con TU GATO y no lo sabes

We always hear people say, my cat doesn't care about me. My cat doesn't even pay attention to me. And you're super happy because yours always wants to be with you. But today I'm telling you that this can be a problem. How do you feel?

Hello, I'm Carlos, a clinical veterinarian at Small Animals. Welcome to the Happy Pets and Families Channel. This topic may seem silly to you, but the problem of cats dependence on humans can be very, very serious. In fact, cats, as always, hide everything they feel. Sometimes they suffer from separation anxiety and we don't even realize it. But I'm not going to talk to you about separation anxiety in cats because we've already talked about that on the channel a long time ago. You know that you can go up here to see it after watching this video. But how can you tell if your cat has a toxic hyper attachment relationship with you? Hyper attachment, for those who don't know, is when your cat only wants to be on top of you or always want your attention. And why is all this bad? Why is it negative? Well, because it will all lead to a lot of stress for the cat. It will lead to you not understanding your cat and often not understanding why it is doing things. And sometimes its activities also become harmful to humans. Now I will explain. Don't rush so much. We are going to make a kind of ladder from the mildest to the most serious signs. The mildest of all is that it always wants to be with you, always on top of you when you sit on the sofa, or that wherever you go, your cat goes, that should start telling you, hey, if you do this every day in all circumstances, your cat may be developing a toxic relationship with you. Oh man. But you may also find that your cat marks your house with urine. Even if your cat is a male and neutered. But also even if it is a female and neutered, whether you are there or not, sometimes it will mark the curtains of your house, the doors, etc. Because it is simply saying, hello, I am here, pay attention to me. But if we go up a notch, another behavior of cats that have a toxic relationship with their human companions is that they develop destructive behaviors at home. And what does that mean? Well, your cat destroys your house when you're not there, starts scratching everywhere, or also bites the fabrics in the house. In other words, they leave everything a mess. And be careful, because you have to separate this type of behavior from when your cat simply marks with its nails because it is, so to speak, sharpening them. When they sharpen their nails. They always do it in the same place because don't forget that they do it to mark territories in their home. So if you notice that your cat does it in a somewhat random way, that it destroys things without following a fixed pattern, it may be indicative of this type of toxic relationship. In addition, with toxic hyper attachment relationships, the behavior tends to get worse. Your cat does it more and more in different places. And well, in the end, as you, I mean, it leaves you in a bad state. And this is also related to aggression towards you, death and biting and all that. Hey, how did this guy teach me? Yes, that's the last step on this imaginary ladder that I've set up. The last step is that your cat begins to develop or can develop aggression towards you. It bites you to get your attention. It bites your hands, it bites your feet. It even demands food from you by hurting you. Catch. They are getting what they are looking for. For you to pay them a little more attention, for you to be aware of them, or for you to fill their food bowl. If right now a little voice inside you is waking up that says, hey, my cat might be suffering from this, it might be that they have a toxic relationship with me. It's not a bad idea to ask your neighbors because as I've already mentioned, sometimes they develop it together with separation anxiety. And these types of cats also tend to develop vocalizations. That is, when you leave your house, the cat meows desperately calling you. If you ask your neighbor and they tell you, yes, your cat is constantly calling you desperately when you are not home, you have another check to check to indicate that your cat has an unhealthy relationship with you. And can this ever be fixed?

Well, let's try. Here we go. Here we go. How do we fix all this? Avoid paying attention to your cat. I know that this is easier said than done. And I always tell you this. For example, when your cat wakes you up at night. But it is very important because if you do not stop that your cat's behavior will get worse. And in the end your relationship will be unbearable.

Yes, Carlos, but many people tell you I ignore it. My cat keeps doing things, for example, banging on my door or waking me up at night. How long do you have to ignore this for your entire life? And does it take effect in a year? Or how does it go? If you ignore it properly, you'll see how this type of behavior gradually decreases. But wait, because now I have to tell you something very important that Jose doesn't know. There are actually two things the first one, very briefly and because they are basic in any cat video, pheromones can help you. And if you don't know how to use them, I'm going to leave a video above and I'll show you how to use them. And the second one, which is the bombshell that Jose has no idea about, is that there are certain types of people who encourage their cat to have a toxic relationship with them. How do you feel that it may be your fault, not your cat's? Well, I wanted to make this a bit of clickbait because you know how the Internet works. But look, this isn't me saying it. There is a group of veterinarians who are experts in feline medicine called Gents here in Spain who have seen that there are certain types of behavior patterns in people that can negatively affect their cats, that can cause them to develop toxic relationships of hyper attachment. And these types of behavior patterns are related to women. This is what genfu says, don't kill me. In addition, these people live alone with their cats. Another thing that usually happens is that they overly humanize their feline companions. They refer to them as people. Even in the consultation. They don't look us in the face, they are always looking at the kitty and they ignore us Veterinarians a little. The Gene has emphasized that we veterinarians are aware of this and if we see any type of problem related to this, we already know more or less where we have to go. It may also be that these types of people do not make plans beyond life with their cats. That is, they do not go to see relatives, they do not meet up with friends because they are afraid that their cats are helpless at home and need something from them urgently. Plans that you say, well, this is not going to affect the cat. If you leave your house to see a relative this afternoon, I mean your cat won't need you that much right now. But these types of people tend to reject all those plans. It has also been shown that they are very perfectionists and that they always want to please others. The truth is that this left me a little dumbfounded because I don't know how that can affect their relationship with the cat. But hey, they have it there and that's why I'm telling you. And they also tend to leave a lot of things for their cat in case it needs them. I mean, I'm going out to have a five minute coffee and I leave a lot of food out for my cat just in case my cat is hungry at that moment and needs it. The cat Is used to always being pampered, like giving it things in advance, prizes and gifts. And that can create some kind of imbalance in the cat's behavior. Yes, it's basically spoiling a cat like you're spoiling a child. Yes, yes, yes. It has a lot to do with it. Maybe that's giving yourself too much attention to the cat. When the cat is hungry at that moment and needs it. It is a completely autonomous being that obviously has its needs, which you have to attend to, but you don't have to over attend to them. You don't have to give it more than it needs. It's not necessary. And finally, which I found a bit more exceptional is that another type of person who tends to develop a toxic relationship with their cat takes for example, medications for psychiatric problems or anxiolytics and so on. This has also been linked to toxic relationships between cats and humans. Now I imagine people making a checklist and going a bit crazy. Does this work like this? I mean, your birthday, your cat is going to be super attached to you, right? Not all cats that live with people who do these things develop toxic relationships or hyper attachment. It's just that it has been observed that it is like a kind of pattern that is repeated in these types of cats that have these disorders. And keep in mind that these studies are a bit more directed towards us veterinarians. So that if we see that there are certain disorders, we can see that they are causing problems, types of patterns in a non human feline family. We can also better deal with the problems they have because as you can see, they can be very complex behavioral problems in cats. So if we already see that there may be a hyper attachment relationship, we will know a little better how to react and find a solution. In other words, they are describing here a bit of what is understood as the crazy cat lady. Well, it really is a cliche. I mean, that profile of the crazy cat lady is a cliche that is often repeated in society under certain circumstances. It serves to stigmatize a large population group, for example, who are dedicated to caring for colonies in cities, women, because they tend to have a greater sensitivity, perhaps for animal welfare, I don't know. Who are also dedicated to caring for cats in shelters. So since it seems to me that it is a concept that is used to attack rather than to say something, some kind of positive quality, I do not agree with it at all. I have banished it from my vocabulary. I do not use it and much less reinforce it. But hey, it is good that we know These types of patterns that have been described because if our cat is developing a difficult relationship with us or is doing things that are inexplicable to us, we can also know that we may have part of the responsibility in a critical way simply so that we can help them, with an ethologist, with a veterinarian, with whomever, to improve their relationship with this and that. In addition, we also know that the work begins with ourselves and that we can do a lot to solve this. Not encouraging hyper dependent behaviors, not paying so much attention to them. For example, if they try to wake us up at night, their behavior really improves a lot. If you ignore them, you're going to have two or three bad nights or two weeks. But then things get better, right? Always filling their bowl at will. When the cat wants all these types of things in which we are turning our cats into little tyrants who are going to completely conditioned our life. The good news is that it is much easier for us knowing what we are doing wrong to change it than for us to try to completely change our cat without addressing the problem base, which may be what we do with our cat. So by stopping doing little things that don't cost you anything or shouldn't cost you anything, you can help a lot to improve your relationship. And I'm going to tell you about a case with final Philippe. I had a kitten in my office who had become a torment at home because he didn't know how to relate to his family. And he would bite them all the time, but he would bite them with such intensity. When he was little, it hardly happened because he wasn't that strong. But as the cat grew, the injuries were much more serious. He would throw his feet at him. They couldn't walk around their house normally because as soon as they approached the area where the cat had the food bowl, the cat would launch himself at them like a wild animal so that he wouldn't hurt them. Whenever the cat was near the food bowl, they would fill it up without taking into account the consequences that this was having on the cat's behavioral development. And so when they came to talk to me, we were trying to find some kind of solution. Solution. I started asking them. And for example, that cat practically never spent any of the day alone. There was always someone at home with him. They were always very aware of what the cat was doing. And that made me suspicious because I thought maybe we have a problem with hyper attachment here. What did we do? We tried to separate the act of giving him food from the family. And how were we able to do that. To start, we scattered a bunch of small feeders around the house with very small amounts of food so that the cat would find them. But we also bought. Well, the family bought a programmable feeder so that the cat would start to have more or less fixed meal times that didn't depend on his family being with him in the kitchen. That gradually taught the cat that it wasn't necessary for him to ask his family for food. The feeder would give it to him automatically. That's how the level of aggression that the cat was showing towards his family decreased, because that aggression was always there, related to them filling his food bowl. Obviously, this example may not have anything to do with yours, but if this type of thing is happening to you, this type of inexplicable behavior, I recommend that you go to a veterinarian or an ethologist, but that you also do a little soul searching when you go to talk to your vet or the ethologist so that they can help you as quickly as possible. Because it may be that all you and your cat need is to find a way to make your relationship work. And that's it for today's video. If you liked it, give it a like and share it with everyone. Remember to subscribe to our channel if you haven't already. And here on YouTube we also have a secondary channel called Questions and Answers from a Veterinarian. Go there and subscribe. You won't regret it. Well, and hit the bell on this and the other channel so that YouTube will notify you every time we upload new content. And today we meet this little thing, Luna. Queen Beeg understands that her family Gabbo is working and Karina lives with Marcus and Trico in Argentina. She says that the first one is more unfriendly and the second one is more loving. And we proudly say goodbye because we have managed to get Florin Leon to introduce his beautiful Freya. Floren is one of our friends who has been with us the longest practically since the beginning of the channel. A kiss to both of them. Thank you very much for following the Pets and Happy Families channel and we will see you in the next video. Video Razmat. Come on. About the milder signs. This goes before the stairs and this goes after the first step, which we have already mentioned. What do you consider worse destructive behavior or urine marking? I do. My destructive behavior is not really there. You are almost a feline expert and you simply have to separate them from. I don't know if outside of Spain they are all angry. You will understand well when they come to you like Z in front of the camera. No, that's a lie. Well, well, as Jose says, how do we solve this? And I'm going to say it without the like Jose says, in case you want to remove it. Why? Because if you don't cut that hem, you already know what the thumbnail is going to say, right? All my videos have a moral, a lesson, a path, I hope. But look, I'm not the one saying this, okay? Yeah.