Ben Nemtin - What Do You Want To Do Before You Die?

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Thanks for coming out to my place during this podcast. For sure. I'm excited for sure.

So first things first, I remember I was watching on your Instagram one of these clips about how you got this note passed to you at the beginning of the at the front of the plane. And that was a piece of content that sparked my attention and I reached out to you to come on the show and I started diving into who you are and what you've done. And there is this concept and show now on MTV called the Buried Life. And before we get into your story and go over how you went from playing basketball with Obama to sitting down with Oprah and everything else in between. I'd love for you to just give some context on what it is the Buried Life is and more. So what you're working on now to bring people up to speed.

Yeah, so I grew up in Victoria, B.C. in Canada. And when I was going into university, I was in a great place, like had a scholarship to university. I was on the national rugby team, which was always like my biggest dream, like growing up in Canada. Rugby, it's a huge sport. So I was like, this was it. I was on the U19 national team and we were training for the World cup, which is in Paris, France. And as we were getting closer to the World Cup, I had these thoughts I was like, man, what if I miss an easy field goal at the World Cup? Like, what if I blow like this once in a lifetime opportunity? Like. And I, I had missed a kick in, in high school that was like a big game and we lost the game. And I just was like, that haunted me. And so I was like, no, like what if that happens again?

Yep.

And so eventually this anxiety would grow and grow and grow as we got close to the World cup and I started losing sleep. And this lack of sleep caused me to slide into a depression. I ended up dropping out of school, I ended up getting dropped from the national rugby team. And I really became a recluse like in my parents house. And I was someone who traditionally a lot of friends, very social, and all of a sudden I couldn't, I couldn't leave the house. So this was like a total 180. I'd never felt these feelings before. I was totally freaked out. I didn't understand, my parents didn't understand how to help me. And everything I thought I had was all of a sudden falling away, right? So, so cut to the end of the semester that I dropped out of. Some friends of mine convinced me to move to a new town for the summer to work, right? We just like went and worked in new town and only then did I slowly start to feel back to myself. And like there are many things that contributed to me feeling better. And you know, we can talk about those like tools later. But I started talking about what I was going through to my buddies, right? That was big. I got jobs, so I started feeling some self worth. But I also met young people my age that were inspiring. And I never met kids like this before. So kids that like started their own businesses, they already traveled around the world. And I noticed that like being around those people elevated me in general. Like it elevated my mood, it elevated my thoughts. It's like it just elevated my perception of what I thought was possible. And so I came back from that summer away and I was starting to feel back to myself. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna try and only surround myself with people that inspire me. Just like those kids I met in this new town. And so I thought about my friends and there's one kid that I knew from high school who was a filmmaker and I was like, man, I always wanted to make a movie. So I his kids names Johnny. And I called him up, I was like, johnny, let's make a movie. And he was like, I was just talking to my other buddy about this and so we gathered four friends and we're like, let's make a documentary. And that was the mission. We didn't really know what it was gonna be about, but we just knew we had all these things that we'd always wanted to do, but we'd never done any of them. Right. So they were like, they felt buried. Yep. And so then Johnny's at first year university at McGill in Montreal and the professor assigns him a poem called the Buried Life. And it's like an old poem that basically spoke to this feeling we were feeling of like we have all these things that we want to do, but we haven't done them because they're buried. We have moments when we're inspired, but ultimately the day to day work, school, life gets in the way. And so we thought, man, this guy felt like this 150 years ago. We feel like this now. Clearly we're not the first people to feel like this. Let's take the name the Buried Life, and we thought, let's make a list of all our buried dreams. And so that's where the bucket list came from. It was like the most epic bucket list we could ever think of. Like, if you could do anything, what would you do? Go to space, Make a TV show, Write a New York Times bestseller, Pay off our parents mortgage, Have a beer with Prince Harry. And then we're like, let's just pretend we could do anything and let's go on a road trip and try and cross off as many things as we can. And every time we cross something off, let's help a stranger we meet along the way cross something off their bucket list. Because we were like, there's no way we're gonna be able to do all these things on our list on our own. We need the help of other people. So let's help people. Let's just like ask this question, what do you want to do before you die? To everyone we meet. And if we can help them, then we will. And so that was it. It was like supposed to be a two week road trip in 2006 to go after our list, help other people.

So two weeks. It was supposed to be, it was.

Supposed to only be a two week road trip. We bought an rv, we got a camera on ebay, we were, we cold called companies out of the phone book.

Right?

This is like phone book times 2006. Yeah, we got, we pretended we had a production company so that we can get local companies to sponsor us. We got a juice company to pay for our gas. We got Red Bull to Donate Red Bulls. We got a granola bar company to donate granola bars so that we can live for two weeks. Right? We're like, we're gonna go on the road for two weeks, and then we're gonna go back to school, and we're gonna make this really cool little documentary to show our friends.

Yep, that was it.

That was it. That was the thought process.

It wasn't a TV show and all this stuff. It was 100% no, pick up a camera, get this bus. Two weeks done. Show our buddies the film. That was the intent.

That was the intent. We're like, this will be fun. We didn't really even tell anybody what we were doing because we didn't really know how to explain it.

You're how old at the time you said you're in college.

Oh, yeah. So this is like 21. So this was me, three buddies in an RV that we borrowed. This was before we bought the bus. Okay. This was just a shitty RV that we borrowed. This was boring stuff to go on the road. Cold calling, throwing parties to raise money, whatever we could. Two weeks go, and so we hit the road. By the way, the mechanic said the RV wouldn't make it back. He was like. And we didn't have enough money to tow it back. So we're. We almost didn't even go. So we hit the road. And then what happened was that we didn't expect is people started hearing about it and they wanted to help.

Yep.

So strangers would see our list that we put online. Right. We had a simple website of, like, this is what the Buried Life is. What do you want to do before you die? Send us an email and tell us, here's our 100 things that we want to do.

And you guys, as, like, the collective came up with this list together.

Yeah. It was all stuff that we.

And this was like the. Some from the smallest things to the biggest things. Like, I want you to kind of go in depth, if you can, of, like, this list of a hundred things, because we were just talking before we started this thing. There's. There's some things that you haven't crossed off yet. Is that correct? It's. You set out to do 100 tasks or goals, and you've completed how many of them over the past 10 years?

So now we've done 91 of 100. Yeah.

On that original list.

On the original. And we've done many more above that. But of the original, which is now, like, kind of the symbolic.

Yeah, yeah. What are some of them? To, like, get some Context to the people listening.

Everything from grow a mustache. Right. To survive on a deserted island, ask out the girl your dreams, compete in a crump competition in Compton, to like, you know, give out a hundred dollar bill. And then on the flip side, helping people is things like, you know, we helped reunite four friends after 40 years. We helped a kid get his dad home, helped her get a bionic arm. For a girl that was born with one arm, her biggest dream was to have a robotic arm and help, you know, over. Help someone over everything from overcome a fear of heights to a girl, you know, said, I've always wanted to make it okay. She struggled with self injury and cutting to talk about my struggles in my small town in Minnesota. So we like, created an event.

Yeah, yeah.

With like musicians and two. Right. Love in her arms, which is a great nonprofit to, you know, create this event where she could talk about it. So the, the list items range from, you know, tell a judge, you want the truth, you can't handle the truth. To go to space, make a cover of Rolling Stone, dance with Ellen. And then the helps range from, you know, just gives. Give people permission to go after their list, which is a lot of what this is about.

Right. You do yours, and then you help others get one of their goals, set it up. And I like. So the concept just for people listening to it's. You set out with your buddies, got this bus. The goal is two weeks, and you wanted to accomplish these 100 goals. And for every goal you accomplished, you would help someone hit that, hit their goals. Yeah. And that was the concept. So in that process of. Now, you said over 10 years since that list was formulated, you said you've done 91 of them, correct?

Yep.

And there's nine left. I know we were talking and I want to bring this up again. We're just having a conversation. He's like, yeah, we're gonna. We're planning on going to space soon. And I want to kind of bring things to like the current moment of like, when you say those things now of like these big not only goals, but just like, going to space isn't something that I believe a lot of people think they're going to do in the next couple of years or plan on doing. Right. So, like, where did that mentality come from? Because I think after sitting down with a lot of not only entrepreneurs, but people that think. Think big, it's either something they have in them or there's something that sparks that, like, do you have that moment that sparked what it was to think so Big. Because where I'm from, it's people, they just settle, right? They get a job, they go to college, they plan to retire when they're 60, right? Like, they settle. So where did that, like, big thinking mindset come from?

You'd say, yeah. So I think there's two things that are really important. One is when we're really young, when someone asks us what we want, what do you want to do when you grow up? You say, I want to be an astronaut. I want to be a professional baseball player. I want to be a famous singer. Like, there's no limit to what, as a child, you think you can do. And then once you hit elementary school, high school, people start to say, you know what? You might want to think about something a little more realistic. You know, it's really hard to be a professional baseball player. In fact, the statistics are only X percentage of baseball players end up making it pro. And you hear a lot of, like, people just basically kind of slowly chipping away at your dream. And ultimately you believe that because when more and more people tell you that when you're young, they're older than you, and you're like, okay, maybe it's a better idea for me to, like, take over my dad's business, because that's like a safer bet. And. And so I think that we were really lucky that when we were young, we were able to keep a hold of that young naivete, that, like, you know, that young, dumb and broke mentality where you, like, you don't know any better. You don't know what you're stepping into. Because if we would have known what we were trying to get into with making our own show, writing a New York Times bestseller, the amount of work and no's and pain, and we probably wouldn't have done it, but we were just like, fuck it, let's just do it.

Yeah.

And so. And we surrounded ourselves with, you know, three other people, or I did, like, right. We were a group of four, and we all had the same belief. So when I didn't feel like we could do it, the other guys were like, yeah, we can do it. Yeah, okay. So I think that's super important to remember that. Like, if you can hold on to that young naivete, that sort of like that youthful energy, you want to hang on to that for the rest of your life. So that is something that we stumbled into, and we were lucky enough to keep that going. As we grew and this whole project grew organically. The other thing that happened was we pretended because of that that point of view. We pretended we could do anything because we didn't know any better. Like, yeah, we'll be on the COVID of Rolling Stone. Yeah, we'll go to space. And we just went after it for fun. It was almost a joke, right? We're like, let's just. Just put it on and we'll see. Over time, all those things that we thought were impossible started coming off the list. And each time one of those dominoes fell, it was like, it instilled this building block in me that was ultimately, over time, proved that you can do anything. So, like, as you see. And that's why I think it's important to surround yourself with people that are inspiring or doing big things, because just by seeing them do something, you believe that you can do it because you know you're no different than them. So, like, when you start to do those things yourself over time, it actually rewrites your DNA in a way. Like, you actually. Your core beliefs change about what is possible. So once we started crossing off things like make a TV show where we were executive producers of our own show with no experience in production.

That's crazy.

Playing basketball, playing with President Obama, I think that was really the moment where it clicked. Where we were just like, this was the most impossible thing we could ever think of doing.

Playing basketball with the President.

Yeah.

That just sounds insane.

Yeah. And it happened. And then coming out of that, I guess we just thought, well, I guess we have no choice but to believe that anything's possible. But it took. It was incremental change over time. But I'm sure you see it as, well, it's like you talking about doing this event with drama when you were watching him on TV when you were eight, nine years old, the idea of collaborating with him was probably an impossible dream, 100%. But as you started to grow and build and learn, it became less and less impossible until finally it happened. And now you look back and it's not impossible. It happened. And that's how it works. It's like you just charge towards your goal, and before you know it, you're there.

That makes so much sense. I want you to break it down for people, because I think one of the most intriguing things that we've talked about as well was playing basketball with President Obama at the White House. And then you get a call from Oprah's executive team the same day. And I think for the people listening, right. And even for myself, it's like you hear whether that's that statement or something that you just. It Just goes one in one ear, out the other. It's like, I could never do that. Like, that could never be my reality. I could never have my own show. I'm sure people are thinking that right now. And I'd love to get the sort of like step by step, like, how did that happen? Like you said, I'm sure you got, you didn't just text Obama and say, hey, you want to shoot some hoops? And he said yes, right. You had to jump through some hoops and communicate to the people and follow up with them and take a no. And like there was a process which I believe people, that's what people don't see. Right. So I'd love for you just in that situation, like, give us the rundown of like, how did it go from writing down a list with your buddies, getting a bus for two weeks, quote unquote, then actually playing basketball with the president, United States, Right? Like that's completely like two different things. Like having the goal and writing it down and actually doing it. Like, how did that manifest the step by step sort of formula, how you did that?

So it. Which is crazy too because it's different countries. Right. So keep in mind, let's take it back to 2006. We finished the two week road trip. We've had this amazing experience where all these strangers have reached out to, to offer help, to cross things off our list. And all these strangers have reached out, sending us their dreams, asking for help. And it's all of a sudden national news in Canada and we hit a chord and we're just reeling from this experience. We, A producer sees us on the news, he's like, have you guys ever thought about making a TV show? We're like, number 53 on the list is make a TV show. So I guess we've thought about it. We end up going out to Toronto where the Canadian networks are. We show them what we're doing. They end up offering us a show, but they want to own it, they want to control it. We ultimately turn down the TV show and go back to school because we want to continue to do this on our own. We want to make our documentary. This is like giving us a sense of purpose. We're having fun. We don't want to lose it. So we go back to school and we raise a whole bunch more money through sponsors and throwing parties and anything we can so we can continue this mission. So then we go out the next summer Instead of for two weeks, we go out for two months. Okay, we buy a 1969 purple transit bus. We get a crew from LA to film us to film the documentary for two months. We go on the road in the US this time crossing bigger things off our list, like sing the national anthem at an NBA game, you know, and helping people in bigger ways. And again, notice that this is just like magic is happening. It's so much fun. And so at the end of that we're like, okay, great, let's put together the documentary. And we have this realization once we learn how expensive post production is that like we're so far away from finishing the documentary and we end up deciding to make our own pilot out of this footage. Right. So Johnny, the self taught filmmaker takes the documentary footage, cuts a pilot of the format that we would want to make on tv, which is like crossing something off our list and then helping someone else every episode. And I met someone that knew someone in la. I flew down on a buddy pass. It's like a free flight. And down to la and started over.

Literally.

Took a year and a half to learn the entertainment business, find the right agents and production company to partner with, and then pitched the show to all the networks. And really MTV was the dream for us. Okay. And this was, you know, now it's 2009, so this is three years after and I could talk for an hour about this whole process. But like for the sake of time, this was a grind to try and.

That was like the foundational stage or like from doing it with your buddies to then trying to have a TV show.

Yeah.

And then, and then based off the question that came later with the whole playing basketball with the Bob and we'll get there so everyone stay listening.

Yeah. So then all of a sudden we were producing our own television show with no experience and we kind of just figured it out as we went. We did two seasons with mtv, we tried to play basketball with Obama on one of those episodes and failed.

Okay.

And then we wrote a book together. One of the things on the list was to write a book and this journey continued. Right. But in terms of. So that brings us to Obama. So the Obama I think is a good example of like the power. Just like, I mean you hear it all the time. Persistence. But this is like really something that we learned throughout this process. I think most people fail because they stop trying. So what we did with Obama was were didn't have any connections to the White House. Oh, by the way, MTV didn't help us with anything on the list. This was like really literally an agreement that we had where it was just the Four of us. So it defeated the whole purpose of the mission to have a big network, you know, help, open doors and all that stuff. Exactly. So we drove our purple bus that we bought off a nudist on Craigslist to D.C. and started like asking people on the street if they knew anyone at the White House. Really send emails to congressmen, senators asking to meet with us. Finally, every public official we would have sent an email to because they all have their information listed publicly. We got to meet with a couple assistants, lower level officials, and we found that we could convince them to talk with their boss. And then we meet with their boss and their boss and we got all the way up the Secretary of Transportation and he in the room called the White House for us. And like a few minutes later we get an email or sorry, like maybe like an hour later we get an email from the White House that's basically like, we reviewed your request. Thank you. No, it's not going to happen.

Okay. To play basketball. And that was the request.

Yeah, exactly. We're like, if four regular guys can play basketball with the President, then it's proof that anyone can do anything. Like that was like, we want to just show that this is possible.

Yeah.

They're like, no chance, but thank you.

Oh my Lord.

And so we thought, well, why don't we invite the President to us? And started tracking him down. Let's change our strategy. And we found the personal aides email and we sent him emails inviting the president him to play. We said, tonight, 7:30 at the YMCA. We'll be there, we'll see you there. And we'd show up with our basketball kit and our gear and there'd be no Baptist, no president. Right. But we did again. Friday fail. Saturday fail, Sunday fail. We went to the YMCA where we thought, oh, sorry, there's like another gym where the personal aid worked out. We heard we'd go there at 5:30 in the morning, couldn't find him. We tried everything we could. Finally we leave D.C. right? And I get a blocked phone call coming up on my phone and I pick it up and it's the personal aid. And he's like, hey, what's this I hear about you wanting to play basketball with the President and I. And I was like, that's true. And I explained to him why and he's like, I think I can make this happen. Give me two weeks. I got to run it by the press team. So we hear back, two weeks later, he's like, I talked with the press team. It's not Going to happen.

Oh, again, Again. Another big note after you were like, yeah.

And so now we're just. And he's like, I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do. He felt bad. He thought it was going to happen. We thought it was going to happen. He's like.

Because the ask was what exactly it was like for him to say that to the press team.

Yeah, it was like, can these guys come to the White House, shoot around with the president, play a game with.

Whatever and play on the documentary that you wanted to.

Yeah, we wanted to include it in the documentary. And also at this point, we just wanted to do it.

Right. And so document it more importantly.

Correct?

Yeah, because I wanted to bring that up because I think what I talk about a lot and just the people listening is like, when I'm reaching out to someone like yourself and you're trying to not only connect with someone, but bring value to them, it's like, for me, I wouldn't hit you up. Be like, hey, man, let me come over and let's just drink some coffee. Right? Like, me having a podcast and a vehicle to distribute our conversation to our. To the listeners and same thing for yourself. It. It wasn't more so just, hey, let's just shoot around and say hello. Like, was it intentful for the documentary? Like, that was the ask. Correct. I just want to make sure people are clear with that, because I speak along the different tangent a lot of, like, when I'm reaching out to people, it's. You have a vehicle or some purpose for that. Right. It's not just saying, hey, let's go shoot around and. Or have coffee. It's like, hey, I have a podcast that reaches people. I want to get your message out there. So I just want to make that clear because I see some, like, common verticals.

Yeah, exactly. So we were like, this will inspire a generation and prove that anyone can do anything. And so it was about the documentary. It was about, like, you know, our community. And also, I think it's important. And I'm sure you found this. Like, I think what got eventually broke through the noise was the fact that it was an original creative ask. You know, it wasn't like, there were probably thousands of people wanting to shake hands with the president. And we were like, we want to play basketball with the president at the White House. And I think that the way that we went about it, too, in all these different ways, somehow we didn't know what. But ultimately this message got through to the White House. Whether it was the meetings that we took. Whether it was inviting the president, whether it was, you know, posting about it online. We got 1970s basketball uniforms and stood out front of the White House with big signs. You know, we. We did everything we could think of. And. And ultimately, I think that creativity, that. When you think about, like, reaching out to someone for help or to be a mentor or, like, for an opportunity, I think you always want to try and bring value in some way, shape or form. And also, I think if you come at it in a creative, original way, ultimately the person on the other end respects that originality and creativity. You know, I mean, for you, like, what, 19 years old, like, out of high school, has a podcast? Like, that is something that people respond to because it's like, whoa, crazy. Okay, cool. You know, and I think that that type of. Any way you can think about overcoming any obstacle in a. In a creative, original way just puts you one step ahead of everyone else that's trying to do it the same way. Banging their head against the wall.

Sure.

And because that ultimately gets people's attention. So, you know, so back to the story. We got the. No. From the personal aide. He was like, guys, I'm sorry, if you're ever back in D.C. let me know. Maybe I can show you the White House basketball courts. Cut to. A couple months later, we're back in D.C. we send him an email. He gets right back to us. He's like, guys, if you swing by the White House. So we're.

Heck, yeah.

We like, race there.

That's a win.

Yeah, we like rent suits at a prom high school rental store. I didn't know what to wear. And he meets us, and he shows us the West Wing. He shows us the basketball courts, and we're like, hey, you know, do you mind if we film this for a sec? And he's like, yeah, the president's not in town. Like, go for it. So we're on the. On the courts filming, and then all of a sudden, the President walks on the court.

That is insane.

And we're just like, jaw to the floor.

You're not expecting it.

We didn't even think he was in D.C. he was supposed to be out of town. That's what the press thought. He ended up staying for some reason, and he totally surprised us.

Oh, my Lord. And he. Did he know about this? Like, he came out there knowing that?

Yep.

He's like, these four guys have been wanting to play basketball with me.

Yeah.

That's insane.

So he had heard about it, and it was ultimately his decision. And so it Was. It was a totally surreal, you know, and that's, I think, emblematic of the buried life in general. Just this whole journey has been like, yo, when you try and go after something, you never know how it's gonna happen. You don't need to know how it's gonna happen. Even if you think that makes you have a plan, don't be too stuck on that path, because ultimately it's going to deviate and you just fire on all cylinders in some way, shape or form. If you continue to be, like, respectful, persistent, and a good person, it will get through. That's ultimately what happens. So, yeah, it was crazy.

That's insane. Can you describe. Just because I think a lot of people listening, whether they've hit a goal or they've had, like, a moment sort of, that's, like, so fulfilling. Like, walking out of the White House after writing it down. Like, can you describe some of just, like, what was going through your head at that time in terms of just, like, the fulfillment process of accomplishing something like that? Because, like, you talked about, it's like me looking back to when I was nine years old, doing an event with drama. It just felt so far. Until you do it. Then it's, wow, that just happened. Right? So, like, break us down. Like, what was the afterthought of something so just monumental in your life? You kind of, like.

I mean, you feel like you're almost floating afterwards because you. You just. You're like. You can't believe that this thing that you've dreamed about for so long has actually happened. And you feel different. Like, you. You. You feel. That's what I. What I mean, when I talked about, there's this, like, change. It's almost like it rewrites your DNA.

Yeah. Because you.

You actually then feel. It's like, if I can do that, then what else can I do? Like, if I can do that, I can do anything. And you. You realize, like, wow, all of these things that I've always dreamed of doing are suddenly attainable. Like, I, you know, it's. It's like when you climb. I mean, I don't know this, but I imagine, you know, you climb Everest, right? And once you climbed Everest, it's like all the other mountains.

Yeah.

You're like, well, you know, yeah, that's gonna be hard, but, like, I know it's gonna take a lot of work. I know it's gonna be dangerous. But if I do prepare, if I, you know, make sure that I'm in physical shape and mentally and I have the Proper, like, you know, tools with me, like, I can do it. And I think that that's what happens each time you achieve something that you initially thought was impossible. It actually rewrites your core beliefs, like, all the other things that you might be able to do. And so the earlier you can do that, just the better, because then you have this, you know, the rest of your life to continue to build upon that. And so now I believe I just have no choice but to believe that anything's possible. Like, I literally don't have a choice. Yeah, it's something that I've seen with my own two eyes. I've experienced it. And my goal is to. Is to hopefully instill a piece of that into as many people as possible, because I believe if more people did what they loved, ultimately it would change the world. Because, like, when you do what you love, you inspire other people to do what they love. And I mean, sure, you found it just through your podcast. I'm sure you've inspired multitude numbers of people that have then decided to do the thing that they want to do and think about the impact that they have had, not just you, but they've had on their friends and what they've done. Right. That is a very. That's an exponential impact that you've had from this podcast just by doing what you love. So I think the more people that can do that will inspire more people to do that thing, and that actually changes the happiness of the entire planet. Right. Like, I think that, you know, when you're doing what you truly love, you're more. You have more energy, you're more alive. That's, for me, what has, like, been the game changer when I feel depressed and when I don't, it's like when I'm depressed, I'm not doing what I really want to be doing. Like, I was, you know, in the beginning, I was putting so much pressure on myself to play rugby. I was putting so much pressure to do well in school. Like, I didn't really even like rugby. I was just doing it because I thought it was cool. Like, and then I had this creative outlet with buried life, and that ended up changing my whole existence, really. Right. So, like, you know, you never know what's going to trigger you to do the thing that you love. And that's why I think, like, anything that you can do to kind of spark that in people is important for sure.

And I want to bring it to some context now of, like, with the TV show that you have just from, like I just said, from having the original goals, writing them down, to accomplishing some of the biggest dreams and goals you set out to do. What's been the process in the back end? From a. I would say from having to do a TV show and actually having it. I know that we talked about just the struggles of, like, making sure you have creative control. That's why you turned down the. The offer from the. What is it called?

Canadian. The Canadian network.

Network. Right. So, like, what has it been like, not only having a TV platform, but more so, like, creating content on a scale of, like, all right, you're putting stuff out on social media. People are listening through social media on this podcast, but working with a big brand and a network and people that are actually helping you from a creative aspect of, like, all right, this is going on tv, which is a whole different platform than social media. You log in and do what you want. Right. So what's been your experience with actually, like, working with a brand like mtv? Because I know it's something I personally haven't been able to experience, so I'd love to learn from your end just, like, what that process has been like.

It was tricky, you know, to be perfectly honest, because, I mean, I think drama will say the same thing. Like, we. We stepped into that in a unique position because we'd already turned down a show. We, at that point had started to build, like, an actual brand and following. So when we stepped in, we just said, we just want to be executive producers. We want to hire our friends as the crew. We want to choose the music and edit the episodes. And that ultimately was, like. It was crazy because they said yes, okay, so now we were in a really good position, but still, you have to work in the confines of the structure that you're given in television. You know, it's 22 minutes. There's three commercial breaks or four commercial breaks. You can't just go out with your phone and film it and then put it on air. You need a release for everyone that's on the show. You need location releases for everywhere that you film. You need. Instead of just going with your couple.

Buddies to pull your Instagram and doing a content minimum.

Like, and we're talking. This was like, when we cut it down, it was like, you know, maybe we could get it down to 15 people, but usually it was 30. Right.

Just anywhere you go to film.

Yeah, we're talking because there's line producers, there's PAs, there's people. Because if you think. If you just want to go walk down Venice Boulevard to film Right now, if you're doing a show, you have to, one, get someone to call the city, permit it. Then there's probably some cops are gonna be out there to make sure that you have the permits to film film. And then there's gonna be signs that have to be put up to be like, we're filming. And then any one of the 30 or 40 people that are walking through your shot, you have to have someone run them down after they get out of the shop to make them sign a waiver. So this is like all before you even start, like, getting into making the show. So this whole process was totally foreign and totally in our minds crazy, but we had to do it. So we had to be flexible in that. In that. That point, from that point of view. And so. But there's other things that we just didn't give on, right. Like when, for instance, like if we, you know, we wanted to crash the Playboy Mansion, the party of the Playboy Mansion. And it was. They were like, okay, we're going to call and clear it and get a location release. And we're like, what? What are you talking about? Like, no, that's good. Then they're going to. We won't crash it then, because they'll know we're coming. And. And they're like, yeah, but if you do it and then we don't get a location release after, we can't use it. And we're like, well, we're not going to do it unless it's real. Yeah, we'll figure out a way to, to. To deal with that afterwards. And so, you know, we legitimately, like, made this whole ruse of, like, we built a giant prop cake, hid my friends in the bottom, and dressed them up like Oompa Loompas because it was a really Wonka themed party. Delivered it to the mansion at 5pm and we got in, filmed it, and then afterwards had to get permission.

Okay. And then they said no, so you couldn't use it.

But then we continued to try and make it happen. Writing a handwritten letter to Hugh Hefner. He gave us permission to air it.

Wow.

So it was just like, it was one thing to film, another thing to get permission, and then to do it in a way that was authentic was really difficult. And our whole thing was like, this has to be real. Like, first and foremost, it's not real. Then we got nothing. And so when we, Whether it was doing something on the list or whether it was helping someone, like, the people that we helped didn't know that we were gonna Help them. It was always so. It was like sometimes you just have to be, you know, you have to be flexible. You have to know what you're getting into. But it's today, you know, doing stuff online, it's just, it's a lot. It's a lot better place creatively.

Yeah. And I want to sort of to pivot as well, because I know with like, TV as an outlet and obviously how we connected, which was on Instagram, one was the. I would say, like, when did you start building like an Instagram presence and social media? Because obviously, like, filming a documentary and wanting a TV show is completely different than opening up an Instagram account and starting to just post content. Right. So, like one, because I talk a lot about personal branding. That's what I speak on when I speaking on public stages, and that's what I tell people to do more. So that's how I've had this podcast and I've been able to meet a lot of amazing people, including yourself and Drama and all these people based off a personal brand on a social platform. Right. And it's different than a documentary and having editors and all that sort of like additional context to content. So when was your, I would say, positioning to take social media, go into that as a personal brand, therefore, that would complement what you're building as the buried life.

Yeah. So it was, it was about the same time that I started speaking, like on my own. And at that moment I was like, okay, I need to tell my story. And my story was something that I wasn't sure if I was comfortable talking about. But I got to the point where I was like, okay, I started learning about the number of suicides in the country every day. Suicide in the U.S. every 50 minutes, there's 120 suicides a day. Mental health is not just a problem in this country, it's a crisis. And it's something that needs to be addressed. And I think that it's, you know, it's your generation, it's my generation's responsibility to eradicate the stigma. Because it doesn't make any sense, because everyone will struggle with their mental health. Mental health is not like there. Some people will struggle more so than others, but what I say by everyone will struggle with their mental health is like, everyone will go through some sort of crisis in their life. Mental health crisis. Right. And that's proven by the data. And so we all need to be prepared and be okay to talk about it when that eventually happens. And we want to be there for our friends when they Go through it, because it will happen.

Have the conversations.

Yeah. And you can. And everyone can learn a whole lot from having those conversations. So I thought, well, I better. Instead of just preaching this, I. I should walk the talk. And so I got to talk about my story. So that's when I, you know, same time I started speaking and started, like, really focusing more on social to tell talk about my struggles that I've had with depression, anxiety, how I've actually learned from that and used what I've learned from that to be successful. Like, I think a lot of, you know, your struggles can really be your strengths when you embrace them. And I think that a lot of entrepreneurs, I know a lot of entrepreneurs struggle with their mental health. Right. Because of what you need to do to be successful as an entrepreneur also can be detrimental.

Yeah.

So it's. It's like three or four acts, like the amount of times that people struggle. And so. But at the same time, those are the things that make you successful. So I just think that when I started to talk about my struggles, it opened up the door for people to talk to me about their things. And I. When I started speaking about it, I could see the connection. So I guess the short way to answer your question is like, I really just tried to be real.

And.

That'S when I started to get invited to speak more. And, you know, I think that I just wanted to tie it in in a way that was like, digestible, which is why I talk about a list.

And, you know, it's the simplicity of, like, having the list. And everyone has these goals or things they think are impossible. Right. So it's like, I want to kind of bring you back. So used to having the social media presence and everything you're doing now speaking. I mean, I know we talked before you spoke in front of 22,000 people. Right. It's. Was speaking publicly some something that you've feared in the past? Because I know there's this. I don't know what the statistic is, but it's like a lot of people tend to fear public speaking, and it's something no one wants to do. Like, what was that transition like? Yeah, yeah.

So it's funny that. Well, I don't know. It's funny. It's just, like, interesting that public speaking is so the number one fear that people have over death.

Yeah, that was it.

Yeah. So Jerry Seinfeld talks about people at a funeral would rather be the casket than doing the eulogy.

So it's.

It's like. But it also makes sense when you think about this inherent fear that we have of the fear of what other people might think or the fear of failure, like, those are two really, like, deeply ingrained fears. So that's kind of what you need to get over to, like, talk in front of people. And for me, like, I, yeah, I've always had those fears. I still have those fears. I still get nervous when I go and talk in front of people. But I've learned, you know, one, it's. I've realized it's like a muscle. The more you do it, the better you get. Just like anything. And also, there are things to help you get over that fear of talking in front of people. Like, one, thinking about why you're doing what you're doing. Are you. Usually when you speak in front of people, you're doing to help someone in the audience do xyz. And so if that's the case, then if your purpose is to help someone, it's not really about you. Therefore, you don't really have anything to do nervous about because it's about the other person or other people. And, like, things like meditation and breath are extremely helpful. And there's, like, a myriad of different things that we could chat about when it comes to specifically, like, getting over the fear of speaking. But the point is, like, yes, I still feel it, but I know that it's inevitable. Like, and there's comfort in that. Like, this will never go away, that sort of anxiety or that fear. But I realized, well, is it anxiety or is it excitement? And I changed that. The feeling or the thought about, like, the anxiety around public speaking is actually, I'm excited to talk about it. And so I think that it's like, the more you do it, the more comfortable you get. Just like, anything.

Yeah, for sure. So I want to sort of go back to the list, because something that's intriguing is when we're talking about, hey, one of the things we wanted to plan to do is go to space. And you said you've done 91 of the original 100. What are some of the. The last nine that you think, like, in the current moment, that if people following you after this podcast, like, what is some of the goals you have today after accomplishing all of these amazing things that you never thought were possible? What are some of the things you're aiming and striving for today after doing all these incredible things?

Yeah, so, like, they're really. There's two main things that we're going after, and they're tied together. So one that we talked about is go to space. To explain that properly, we need to talk about the other thing, which is number 93, I believe, which is make a movie, which is. We started Buried Life to make that documentary. We thought it would take two weeks here, like 13 years later. We're almost done, but we want to finish it with number 100.

Okay. And finish the movie.

Yeah, finish movie. So we want to put out this documentary with the. So what I've realized throughout this journey is this, you know, there's this incredible power in this idea of like a ripple effect. That is what I was talking about earlier, where when you do what you love, you inspire other people to do what they love. So we can all have. We all have the potential to like, create that ripple in our lives. Like, you don't have to have a hundred thousand followers to create that ripple. You. You can create it with your five friends. And basically you can help inspire them by doing what. What you love or when you help someone. If you help someone, you don't just help that person. You help the people around them. So, like, there's all these different ways to create the ripple. And I realized that Barry life is really about that, you know?

Yeah.

I was inspired by a friend who started a clothing line in college after I dropped out. And that made me think, man, I wonder what I want to do. I want to make a movie. And so I called Johnny and we got the Buried Life going. And then the Buried Life ended up inspiring, you know, people like yes.

Theory and other Love, Amar and all those guys, because I actually real quick too, when I. Because I've heard of Yesterday, like, I think it was about a year ago. And then when I came across the Buried Life, I was like, wow, it makes sense now. Like, that was like the OG Yes. Theory concept of like, doing something for yourself, but then also help helping others and having these crazy ideas. And I'm sure a lot of you listening between the 18, the 8, the ages 18 to 25, they're familiar with the S3. So it's super cool to see just how it's inspired a whole next generation to use their social platforms and build brands and do the. The model of like, these extreme goals. So I just want to point that out.

Yeah, totally. And it's cool to, you know, I mean, it's been amazing to see what they've done, the impact that they. They've had. Yeah. You know, jumping out of a helicopter with Will Smith or their clothing line. And so the. If you think about the impact they've had, Right. And the people they've inspired and then the people that they will. Those people will go. So that you can draw that back. Oh, this one kid that started a clothing line in high school that, like, the clothing line doesn't exist anymore. There's, you know, it would lasted for two years. It doesn't matter. Like, that had an incredible impact in the world.

Yeah.

So, like, that, I think, is the power of doing what you love. And so. And that's what the documentary is about. And we actually were talking with the Yesterday guys about coming together to do Go to Space together to create the biggest ripple effect of all time. Yeah. Because that's the theme of the documentary, is the ripple effect. So that is something that, you know, we're all focused on. And so it's going to be go to space, finish the documentary, and then, you know, I speak a lot. So I'm traveling around, doing that and working on writing, you know, a book around this idea of a ripple effect and.

Got it.

So it's. It's been a crazy journey, but it's. It's been one that's like, you know, it's got me down here in la and it's like, I love living down here. It's a great community and stuff like that. So it's been. Yeah, it's been fun, for sure.

So, I mean, last thing to really tie it all together, I'd say it's. I'm not only hearing your story, but from the content I've seen and what you've done. I know we talked at the beginning of People listening or myself. 19 years old, graduated high school last year, moved completely from Virginia to Arizona. And just doing these things that I wrote down when I was 16, just, hey, I want to move across the country when I graduate. And after I did it, it's like, wow, if you can do that, you can inspire someone else to do it. And I want to hear from your perspective, going back to that moment where you're writing down that list and you're 18, 19, 21 years old, just through. Through the journey of what you've been on, what would be that one thing that if someone's listening and maybe they just don't think they can do it. They hear this podcast, they watch a lot of content, but they still just don't believe that themselves can actually strive and do more than they're currently living. Like, what do you tell that young person that's maybe caught up in the stigma of, hey, my parents told me to stop, settle, and I. I Don't have these big goals because I. Who am I to say that I can play basketball with the president or move across the country or whatever? Just to get back to the question, just what do you tell that 18, 19 year old that's just embarking upon their journey like you were at 21 years old? Like, what. What have you learned that you'd want to instill in them before we wrap this up?

So think about yourself on your deathbed, looking back onto this moment. If you're, if you're deciding whether to do something or not, picture yourself on your deathbed and will your future self regret not doing this? Right. If no, cool. If yes, you kind of have to try, right? Like, that is sort of the black and white. Like, 76% of people get to their deathbed and their number one regret in their entire life, not living my ideal self. So living for someone else, not living the life that they wanted. 76%, that is insane. Over three quarters of the population. Yeah. So you will be in that 76%. If you are not aware. Most people will. Because the problem is, is that generally with personal goals, people push them till tomorrow because there's no deadlines around them. So they're the easiest to be pushed till tomorrow and tomorrow, tomorrow, which ends up ultimately, before you know it, you're on your deathbed. So to actually digest and like, think about the fact that you are gonna die, which is why, like, the question, what do you want to do before you die? Is such, like a good one to cut through it quick, picture yourself. And if your future self you think will regret it, you have to try. And then, so in terms of, let's say you know that already, you're like, I know that I would regret if I don't. Okay, so what can you do as like, like actual tangible steps to move yourself forward? Because you don't need to know the entire roadmap. You just need to start taking steps. Because through those small steps, you will start to create your own inspiration. Like, because you'll never get hit with inspiration. Boom, you wake up, you're like, yes, I'm inspired. I'm gonna go do it today. Like, that doesn't happen. You have actually have to. You feel that through action. So you have to actually start taking steps. So we talked. You talked. You said this a couple times throughout the podcast. Writing it down, that is the first thing you need to do when you start to think about things that are important to you. Because what you do by writing down your goal is you make it Real, right. You take an idea and you're making it tangible. And this is also a reminder that your dreams exist because as I said, you get buried. That's why the poem was written 150 years ago. Like this shit happens on the daily. Like you will forget about your goals because you have schoolwork, because you have work, because you have a relationship, because of the day to day. So you need a reminder and your list is your reminder. And you need to actually make those things tangible. Put them up somewhere, put them on. Maybe it's your phone. And an even better thing is to have, have a friend that checks in on you as an accountability buddy. Right. That really starts to build accountability. So you know, you write them down. And then I think it's really important to talk about your goals and with.

The collective group of people in a sense of like your.

So I think to your support system. I think even on social, you know, I think that if you don't talk about your goals, no one can help you. You're on your own and you can do it on your own, but it's a lot harder. The only way we were able to cross 99% of the things off our list is through the help of other people. Like people stepped up because we talked about it like passionately and, and so people would show up. And you know, most people don't talk about their goals because of the fear of what other people might think or the fear of failure. They're like, well, if I talk about it and then I don't do it, people know that I failed.

Yeah.

And like those two fears are really intrinsic as human. You know, it's like it's part of the human condition. But here's the truth. The fear of what other people might think, generally people are just thinking about you much less than you think they are. Right. Like they're wrapped up in what other people are thinking about them.

Yeah.

And they're generally more accommodating. And then the fear of failure, like if you never do your thing because you're afraid of failure, you fail. You never did it. So at least when you try and fail, like you learn something, it generally doesn't take a huge hit to your reputation. The hit that you think you. And so like I think there's like this. As long as your basic needs are met, like food, safety, shelter.

Yeah.

Those two fears are more imagined fear. So like you write down your goals, that's like a good place to start because you want to take time to think about what's important to you. And imagine you can do anything and write those things down and then to start to talk, talk about those things. And if you write down your goals, like, and you, you have like, let's say, a bucket list journal or something like that, and you revisit it every quarter, every six months, and you update your list, you write new things over time. You'll look back just like you look back and like, if you had written down, like, do an event with drama. Yeah. Those things that you initially put down that you thought were impossible will start. I guarantee to be crossed off as long as you start, you know, continue to drive forward and stuff like that. So I think those are two tangible ways to actually get things done.

I love it. Well, just to wrap it up, man, I just want to say thank you so much for coming on this show and for the people that this may be the first time they've heard your story. Where's the best place for them to learn more about the buried life, learn more about yourself, and just stay following you along your journey moving forward?

Yeah, probably Instagram Ben Nemton, which is just my full name, but Instagram, any of the social handles arendempton and then there's more info@Ben Nempton.com.

Got it. And I'll make sure to link all that down below so they can check that out. And that being said, everyone listening to the Rise of the Young podcast, I just want to say thank you so much for tuning in and thank you so much, Ben, for coming on the show.

Thank you, man. It's been awesome.

Yep.

Cheers. Legacy of Monsters. An Apple original series. The world is on fire. I decided to do something about it on November 17th. This place, it's not ours. Believe me. The most massive event of the year arrives. If you come with me, you'll know everything. I promise.

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