Jason Goldberg - Breaking Free from Mental Prisons

All right, welcome back to the Casey Adams Show. Today I am joined by a good friend of mine, Jason Goldberg, a celebrity mental performance coach. Thank you so much for coming on the show, Jason.

Dude, thanks for having me so far from the gym where we usually see each other. It's amazing to see you in regular clothes.

Oh, my God. I literally. We've known each other now, what, probably almost a year. We've been seeing each other in the gym.

Yeah.

And more recently, we got dinner for your birthday. Then we had dinner recently. And I've just been so amazed by not only the content you put out by, but by diving into your story from what I can see on social and through our mutual friends. And really excited to really dive in today.

Thanks, man. I appreciate you having me here. I love what you do. I love the conversations you facilitate. And so I know we're going to have a great time today.

Absolutely. So, you know, this. This idea of a celebrity mental performance coach, what is it that you do day to day? Where do you spend your time before we dive into the real backstory.

Yeah. So, I mean, it's usually broken up between a couple things. It's coaching my clients one on one or doing my group coaching program stuff, or it's keynote speaking. So those are kind of the things that I'm typically doing. But it's all around the same thing, the mental performance and really understanding how the equipment works between the ears. Right. Like, I love that. Yeah. I don't know what kind of person you are. I'm the kind of person that I rip open a piece of technology and I just start screwing with it. I don't ever read the instructions. And then there's other people that won't touch the thing until they read the instructions. Those. Those people are the ones that know how the system operates and they can utilize all the features and benefits while I'm just kind of fumbling around hoping that I figure it out. So it's the same thing with the mind. If we know how it works, we know how to use it better.

And you were speaking of public speaking. You were just in Columbia.

Yep.

At the Mind Valley event. How was that?

Dude, it's. We got it. First of all, we got to get you out to one of the mindvalley events. It's just great because, you know, we're very blessed. Being in LA and being in Southern California. We're around a lot of people that kind of think like we do. A lot of people don't have access to that in their close proximity. That's why they listen to podcasts like this as well, to get exposed to people they wouldn't necessarily meet on the street. And the great thing about a fest is that it brings all those like minded people together from all over the world and it's just like it's your people right away. There's just like the connections immediate, you can drop in. It's just an incredible experience.

I love that. And speaking of just cultivating that, you know, circle of influence of positive peers, I'll speak for myself. Grew up in a small town in Virginia. Didn't really have any friends or, you know, business mentors or anyone that I really could learn from the business capacity. And that's what led me to start going to masterminds in these different events. What was it in your life that started this journey of not only wanting to surround yourself with great people, but going down the path that you're on now? What was that early journey of Jason? Where are you from? Like where did this journey start?

Yeah, so I was, I was born in Miami. I moved to Orlando when I was 2 and I was, I was raised in Orlando. So I was in the same like one or two mile radius from the time I was two until the time I was 34 for 32 years. And I didn't travel. I had just my corporate 9 to 5 job. Nothing wrong with that. But like I had a very set, very predictable life. My from elementary school to middle to high school to undergrad to graduate school was literally all in the same couple mile radius.

When you say you didn't travel like.

At all at all. I took one family trip. So I was raised by a single mother, single Jewish mother. So she can hear everything we're saying no matter where she is right now. And so it was always just the two of us. And so we didn't really do a whole lot. She was working her butt off to provide for us. So we took one trip when I was 13 years old to Portland, Oregon. That's the only time I traveled in my entire life, really. And it wasn't until grad school that I actually left the country for the first time. But really that entire time I was just in my little bubble of Orlando. And I also didn't have access to anybody that was thinking about personal growth or spirituality or business and entrepreneurship. And it just wasn't a thing that was in my circle.

Wow. And you said until you were 34.

34. Wow. Yeah.

I mean. Cause I, I can relate to that on a personal level of, you know, I Didn't grow up traveling. I didn't fly in a plane until I, I bought the plane ticket myself when I was 16, you know, did road trips all up and down the east coast, like playing hockey growing up. But like, that idea of traveling was never in my life. But I'm talking and I. The relatability until I was 16. But then to, to take that into adulthood and it's just, I think it's a whole different, you know, just thought process. What was it that made you realize that you wanted change? Right. Like we met. You're in la. How long have you been out here now?

Five and a half years.

Five and a half years?

Yeah.

So take us back to Orlando. You know, you're, you're in school. What did you go to school for? College? Like, what did you perceive to be your path back then in terms of career or life? Like, what does that look like?

Yeah, I got really lucky. So I never had a father growing up, but my uncle, who's my mom's twin brother, was kind of like a father figure to me. And he was involved in some tech stuff. And so when I was 13 years old, he was doing a project with this company called Unisys, massive company. And he said, hey, do you want to come with me? For this weekend project, we're going to be unboxing computers and connecting them to this thing called a bus network, which nobody watching this probably has any idea what that is. And so at 13, I went with him and I'm unboxing these computers, connecting him to a network, like doing all this cool stuff that 13 year olds wouldn't normally get a chance to do. And I was, I was hooked. I was like, this is my thing. I love computers, I love technology. This is it. And so I followed that path. And so I got my first real technology job when I was 17. I had enough credits in high school where my senior year I was allowed to go to school for the first two hours of the day and then go work a job and get high school credit for it. So I was working in tech from 17 and that kept going and going and going to the point where in my mid-20s, I was the director of engineering and operations for a technology consulting firm on the east coast while I was going to college. So I was the night school guy. I never had like a college experience. So everybody's partying in the dorms and everything. I was working all day, going to school at night. So I did that for. So it was tech IT undergrad mis what they Used to call it. And then I went and did my MBA at a private school called Rollins College after that. So. So yes, I was in the whole tech thing, and I love the tech thing. The tech thing made me a lot of money. It was like, you know, well into my six figures, early in my 20s, and, you know, youngest director in the history of this company. And the challenge that I had outside of this was that, you know, I had the great job, I had the money. Kind of the story you typically hear where you have everything that's supposed to make you happy, and yet something feels like it's missing. And so at the height of my, my professional career, where I'm making the most money and have the most highly esteemed position, I'm also the most anxious, the most depressed. I had suicidal ideation probably at least once a week or so. And I was £332. I was morbidly obese and, you know, really dying a slow death. And there was nothing about that. There was, of course, I knew that I wasn't healthy, but there was no catalyst for me to change because I didn't have in my mind that there was a possibility I could because there was no frame of reference of who had gone through transformations. So I just believe that was my life.

Wow, so you're, you're in tech from 17 to what age is. You know, when you talk about transformation, the ups and downs of career, like, when what I should ask, what made you realize that you needed change? Right. And speaking for something as just clear, I think, for everyone from a weight loss perspective, like, when did you finally take that first step in the direction of change and what led to that?

I had tried so many things, man. Growing up, my mom always did the thing where she's like, I'll give you $5 if you, you know, lose a couple pounds this week or, you know, go, go run or go work out or whatever. And I, of course, never did. And it's because food was my coping mechanism for everything, right? When you're happy, you eat. When you're sad, you eat. When you're bored, you eat like everything was just eating. And so I just. That was, that was how I lived. And so it wasn't until there was this one day, 2009, where I was still working in, in tech. I was the director of this, this company. And I went to go make a purchase on Amazon. It was like a $50 purchase on my bank card. So I knew I had, you know, money in the bank and the card kept getting declined. The transaction kept getting declined. And so most people, that's not a big deal. They're like, oh, there must be something wrong with the system. I also had massive anger issues back then. So I. I just had. I lived by this. This mantra of, like, who can I blame? That was my mantra for life. Who can. It's never me. Who can I blame? And so I got super pissed off, and I storm out of my office, and I go into the lobby of the office complex where the office was, and I call the bank, and I'm, like, mashing the zero button to get a live person on the phone because a stupid automated thing never works. And I get this really sweet guy, his name is Stephen, that answers the phone. And I'm just, like, yelling at him, like, what the hell's going on? I'm trying to make this purchase. I know there's money in the account. He says, oh, sorry, Mr. Goldberg, let me take a look. And he's typing away, and he goes, well, it looks like there was some potentially fraudulent activity on the card. So we deactivated the card to protect your assets. To which most people would say, thank you. I'm so happy you looked out for me. Yeah, I was a tyrant. So I was like, what do you mean? Did somebody hack my account? Did they steal my identity? I said, what are these charges? What are these fraudulent charges? And he looks in the computer and says, Mr. Goldberg, it looks like there were four fast food transactions in one day. And our system flag that as potentially fraudulent, because some people, when they steal a credit card, they'll make small purchases to make sure the card's still active, and then they'll go on a shopping spree. And of course, that wasn't fraudulent. I had eaten at four fast food restaurants in one day.

Wow.

And I say, that's the day the universe cut me off. This multi, multi, multibillion dollar bank said, we're taking away access to your money until you make better decisions about your life. And that was the point where the mantra of who can I blame? It was like a foreign language. I couldn't find anyone to blame. It wasn't my employee's fault. It wasn't my manager's fault. It wasn't my mom's fault. It wasn't my genetics fault. It was on me. Like, it was personal responsibility that was missing.

Wow. So when it comes to your journey from the gaining weight, losing weight, I think it's, you know, from a. We always hear about mindset, mindset, mindset. You gotta change your mindset. In life and business and early on. And even I think sometimes it's. It's harder to see change, you know, mentally versus, you know, like, I was just doing the 75 hard program. People do it for many different reasons. It's this physical, excuse me, mental toughness challenge. But some people do it and they experience massive physical benefits. And I think, you know, with anything physical, it starts in the mind, right? From the actions you take to what you do or don't eat. I'm curious, like, growing up, what was your relationship with food? Because I think, you know, I grew up in an environment where I knew nothing. I didn't read a single label. I feel like growing up and, you know, I. I grew up in a very active, like, playing sports, and I never had to deal with, like, being obese in terms of, like, the relatability. But I ate absolutely terrible Gushers Candy. Back to back. Gushers. Of course, you know, that was. That was my, like, early days. All I can remember, I was the pickiest eater. And it wasn't until really I started dating Jacqueline in years prior, when not only I was taking health more seriously, but truly understood food and dieting, or not even dieting, but just nutrition in general. And I got a lot to thank Jacqueline for that. But for you, like, what did that educational process look like early on in terms of your relationship with food and then also understanding what's good or what's bad?

Yeah, I mean, it's so huge. Right. Because I had to start realizing what was it that drove me to food as the coping mechanism? Because anytime we do anything like that, whether it's eating food or scrolling on Instagram or whatever else, there's nothing wrong with that. And even compulsive. Compulsive stuff like gambling or prostitutes or whatever it is you do, you're trying to get a need met. And that's the healthiest way to get that need met. That occurs to you, given your level of understanding of the world and giving your level of understanding of what's possible. So none of those people are doing anything wrong. I mean, some of that's illegal, but. But none of them are doing anything, like, quote, wrong. Yeah, they're as humans, just trying to get their needs met. And so I had to really start diving in deep. And I'm so grateful for the mentors and coaches and people that I had early on in this journey for me to take a step. Step back and say, what's the. What's the thing that I'm trying to feel? What is the Emotion I'm trying to either mask or what is the emotion that I'm trying to actually feel. So for me, a lot of times it was enoughness or it was connection or it was whatever these things were. And so if I was alone or I was feeling like I wasn't enough, then eating would give me this comfort. And so I had to start asking myself, well, what are the healthier ways that I can feel connection? What are the healthier ways that I can feel enough? And that's all between the ears. Like, you can do the best diets in the world. It's not going to work. They did studies on this before. I watched this documentary about all the different diets they went through the Mediterranean and the keto and all these different things. And do you know which diet they said was the best one for in the entire world? The one you'll stick with. Right. And you only stick with a diet because you have aligned your thought processes, you've aligned your identity, you've aligned your vision with whatever that thing is. So it's much less about the diet and much more about your relationship to what you're eating and how you move.

Yeah. So what did you know? And not to just focus on like the, the weight perspective, but like that journey, you know, we met in this new version of who you are. You look phenomenal. Like, what, what was that process like? And what did you have? How did you change your mentality around your daily actions? And like, was it a struggle for you? And how did you overcome those internal challenges when, you know, you needed to create change? And like, what, what did that process look like?

Yeah, it was a lot. And it's, it's, it's, for me, it's a never ending thing. It's there, there's a mindfulness that, that's involved here. Right. Because like the, the compulsive eating or the emotional eating, it's a mindless activity. And there's so many things that we do that are mindless activities, whether it's being mindless in our work, being mindless in our relationships, friendships, romantic, whatever it is, being mindless in eating and in our health. And so the first thing was really mindfulness. I decided in 2011 to have bariatric surgery as a tool to help me lose the weight. And I didn't used to like to talk about that because I was worried that people would judge me or they would say, oh, you couldn't do it on your own. You took the, the easy way out. And I'm very clear on the fact that I. There was nothing easy about having that surgery and then working with it. Right. It's a tool, but you have to really change it. You know, your. Your. Your relationship to food and everything else. So for me, it became a thing where I said, listen, one thing I will give myself credit for, and I don't give myself credit for a lot, is that when I choose something, I will go all in. I will want to be the good student, whatever that means. Like, I want to ace the test. Whatever the test is, even if it's entrepreneurship, if it's being in relationship, whatever it is, I want to ace the test. And so I said, if I'm going into this thing, I'm going to bring such a level of sincerity and devotion to this thing. This is not a. This is not a. There's no options here. This is not a choose to do this or choose to do that. It's all in or it's nothing. And I remember other people that went through the surgery around the same time I did. We had the exact same tool that was given to us. And yet my results seem to be better, more effective than their results. And in conversations with them, it was obvious they weren't doing the things they were supposed to do now, and they weren't doing the things they were supposed to do before. So unless something changes, nothing changes. The tool is not going to do it for you. So for me, really understanding that, like, I need to constantly check in with myself, ask myself, what is it that I'm trying to feel? What is it that I want? What's my vision and what's going to take me in the direction of that, not just from an action perspective, from a thought perspective. So when thoughts pop up in my head that say, go eat this thing or you're not enough or you suck or you're not cut out to do that, or who do you think you are to be doing that thing in the world, to really slow that down and say, I don't have to take that thought seriously, because when I'm in a low place, my thoughts can't be trusted. See, growing up, I thought my thoughts could all be trusted. If it's in my head, it's true. So when the thought said, you're not enough, go eat that Big Mac, I go, well, it's in my head. It must be true. And so just the notion of slowing down and saying, just because it's in my head doesn't make it true is automatically going to be a transformative act.

Wow, what how have you applied something like a principle that you just talked about? How have you applied that to your life today or more recently in your, you know, timeline of, of life and your journey today?

Yeah, there's so many lessons, so many parallels. And I actually tell people like, not only was I overweight in my life W e I g h t I was overweight w a I t and they, they fostered each other. Right? So the, the more physical weight that I carried, the, the longer I waited to do the things I wanted to do in the world. And even after I physical weight, I realized I was still carrying around emotional weight and financial weight and intellectual weight and mental weight and all these kinds of weight. And it was, it was just this self propagating loop. And you know, the more I carried the weight, the more I waited, the more I waited to do what I wanted to do, the heavier I felt. And it was just this constant thing. So really slowing that down and saying, you know, coming from tech, we would, we would reverse engineer stuff all the time. That's how we figure stuff out. So I started down the reverse engineering process and saying like, what is it that people that are successful are doing that I can do in my own life? And a lot of that was helpful for the physical weight loss, but also for, you know, Transitioning into entrepreneurship 12, 13 years ago now. And one of the things that I tell people all the time that's so important, it was so important in my physical weight loss, but also in business building and everything else is that when people say, how did you lose £130? I say, I didn't. I lost £1 130 times. Right. Because that I can wrap my head around. There's, there's just, you know, it's great to have these big dreams and want to create the impossible and all that, but, but sometimes that can be too daunting. Right? So what if I just wake up today and I do the doable? If I wake up every day and do the doable, I will create the impossible over time.

I love that you said that. There's, I relate to that in so many ways. One specifically was I interviewed this guy late last year in preparation for running a marathon. His name is James Lawrence. He goes by Iron Cowboy. Nice. And he is an absolute legend. So he broke the record for the most Iron Mans done back to back over consecutive amount of days. The record previously to him doing it was five in a row. Five Ironmans, five days back to back. So, you know, he goes out there, this is, I think 2018. He does 50 Ironmans in 50 days in all 50 states.

No way.

And to make it even better, this was then 2020. He doubles it, he does 101 Ironmans back to back to back every single day. And he lives in, I believe, Utah. And it's funny, it's actually relevant now because as of this recording, it's June 2, 2023. Hurt my back a couple days in the gym, right. And can barely walk, like very much so. Struggling and excruciating pain. But I think it, it brings me back to this idea of like it can always be worse and your mind is so capable of much more aware. I posted this story yesterday, two days ago, talking about limbar strain and my back and barely walk. James and I, we follow each other on social media. He messages me, he goes, imagine running 41 more Ironmans with that. Haha, get well soon, buddy. Jokingly, yeah, but that's what like he ran, I think it was 90 Ironmans with a fractured leg. And then he had all this back pain for like 40 plus days of it. And it kind of like made me check myself, right, of not only the pain I'm going through and not comparing it to say, oh like why am I feeling pain? But just to focus on like what can I, how can I get better today? And the quote he told me that stuck with me was, you know, similar to losing 131 pounds or 130 pounds, thinking about doing 101 Ironmans seems genuinely impossible. And quite frankly it is until he had to, you know, prove it wrong otherwise. But the one thing you told me prior to me running the marathon was just focus on the next step in front of you. If you can genuinely answer the question of will I die if I take this next step? And the answer is no, you can keep moving forward.

I love that.

And that's his mentality in life. Like just focus on the task at hand. And similar to you just saying about losing the, you know, £1 130 times, I think it's so relevant. I want to change gears here a little bit. So you, you've worked with NASA?

Yes.

Talk to me about that. Like what, how does that even work? What did you do with NASA? And let's, let's chat about it.

It was really interesting, man. I got really, really lucky when I was in grad school. One of my mentors was somebody who had a relationship with NASA with the technology commercialization program. So essentially, and I'm going to, you know, really condense this, and it's not totally the way I'm saying it, but, but you'll kind of get the gist. NASA still wants money from the government. They want to be funded. Government says, but we're not going to space anymore. Why would we give you money? And NASA says, oh no, we're going to take the technology from the shuttle program and figure out a way to sell it into the private sector. So keep funding us because that'll be the new, you know, revenue stream. And so the government says, good, well, now they actually have to commercialize this technology because they promised they would do it. So my mentor had a relationship with them and they basically said, hey, listen, put together a group of MBA students, you know, get a couple business minded people, get a couple engineering people and, and we want you to do a feasibility analysis on this one particular technology from the shuttle program. A non contact linear position sensor, which essentially was created initially to measure the depths of the cracks in a shuttle orbiter window when the shuttle came back from being in orbit. So shuttle comes back from being in orbit, there's no visible cracks. It looks totally fine. But they have to run this fine camera over it that can measure a thousandth of a human hair, depth of a crack, because if the crack is too deep, they got to replace the windshield, otherwise it could, you know, burst in space and kill everybody. Thousandth of a human hair. It's ridiculous. But they also don't want to replace it if they don't have to because it's a ton of money, right? So this was a very important thing. So they said, okay, we want you to take this technology as a group and just do some market feasibility stuff. Say, is there, is there a commercial viability for this thing? So great, that's amazing. We get to do this project for NASA. At the end we're going to do a PowerPoint presentation and it's going to be a great little thing on our resume. So we're evaluating this technology over the course of about three months and one night we're sitting there and they called it the basement, which is this area of my grad school where a lot of the studying stuff went down. And we're sitting there as a team and me and the other business guy were sitting there and I asked him, I said, we, why are we just giving them a PowerPoint presentation with some market viability analysis crap? He's like, what do you mean? I was like, why don't we just find a customer for them? And like, well, how do we even do that? I was like, I don't know, but let's figure it out. Like, who cares? So we talked to our mentor and he's like, hell yeah, let's do this. So we first of all prototyped the technology ourselves, packaged it, like, made it look like a full blown commercial, off the shelf technology, project production. We went to this sensor company and got them to sign a letter of intent to evaluate and potentially purchase this technology. Now, we didn't tell NASA any of this, right? So we go to our final presentation and, and we do the thing and I have the opening and the closing of the presentation. So I do the opening and then a few of my teammates do some other stuff. We have NASA in the room, we have VCs in the room. It's a whole group of people and they have no idea at the end that I'm going to say. And we have a letter of intent from this company and we want to start a company around these patents that we've been working with and we want exclusive license to these patents. So in a room full of people, we announced to them, we're starting a company and we want you to give us exclusive license to these patents. So we have a meeting after. Of course, everybody's shocked. Nobody expected that. So we go have a meeting.

Just to pause.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

So the intent, what was the intent of the meeting? To just do a project analysis showcase. Look what we did. Done.

Clap for the students who put together a nice PowerPoint.

Got it.

Yeah. That was all they got. I just want to make sure 100%. So. So we sit down with the NASA commercialization team afterwards and we say, this is what we want to do. And they say, cool. Put together, you know, a whole deck and you know, we have to do sales targets and everything else because there's royalties. It's like a whole thing. Yeah. So we put it all together, we bring it to them, they say, okay, great. This looks amazing. Because we're a government agency, we have to publish publicly that we are potentially giving these, these patents exclude exclusively to you to see if any other companies want to come forward wanting the patents themselves. And we're like, okay, that's fine. Like, it'll go into the radar two weeks. It's in like a. Who even reads this thing? Who cares? Of course they put it out there and a billion dollar company comes along and says, no, no, we want access to that.

Wow.

And so NASA came to us and said, okay, it's, it's kind of between you guys and we have to think about it. We'll get back to you in a week or so. So we're sitting there in the room just. Yeah.

Wow. I was gonna say. So you and your team to license exclusive patents to as a commercialization of this product.

Yep.

Wow. Yeah, it's crazy.

Yeah, we had all these really cool things like that. One of the big applications we found was for 3D printing. 3D printing at that time and we're talking like 2013, 2014, when you printed something at home that the non commercial ones, like the home ones, they were always very jagged. I don't know if you ever saw it. They were, they weren't really smooth. And that was because the actual resin that would come out of the nozzle, it wasn't a fine enough resolution. And we figured out that we could use this sensor to create super fine resolution. It's like a $2 part. So now these home 3D printing kits for really marginal cost increase, could do professional looking 3D printing. Right. So that's some of the stuff we presented them in the final presentation. So we're sitting there completely disheartened. We're all certain that we're not going to get it now, right Company. How are we going to compete with that? Yeah, so we're sitting there, we all kind of like, you know, have our heads down and we're kind of, you know, we'll get them next time. And then we, me and the other business guy again, we kind of went off to the side and we said, I don't know man, I think there's still an opportunity here. And so the idea I had was, I said, what if our disadvantage is actually our differentiator? And so. Okay, what do you mean? I said, well, let's go through a laundry list of all the things that this billion dollar company has that should make NASA want to pick them. And so we're just shouting them out. Number one, they have a huge budget. I mean we're flying five kids in grad school. We don't have a huge budget. They have a huge budget. Cool. That's a disadvantage, right? Except that they have an entire product line and all these different departments that are fighting for that budget. So who knows if the NASA product is going to get any of that funding. We knock that one out. Second one. Oh well, they have so many engineers on the bench, they have hundreds of engineers that can iterate this technology. So yeah, it seems like a disadvantage except they have so many engineers that their change process means it'll take six months to make a small Adjustment to the product. We have one product. We can make that same adjustment in two days. And so we started going through that laundry list, and by the end of it, we said, huh, we actually may have something here. So we presented all those things to NASA. Here are the reasons that you probably want to pick this other company, and here are the reasons why that's not the best idea. And they gave us exclusive license to these three patents from the shuttle program.

No way.

So that's become a mantra for my life now. Your disadvantage is your differentiator. And I've seen it work time and time again.

That is quite the story. It's like, what. What happened next from that?

So then we started going out and trying to raise money. And I was in this place where. So this is now three or four years into my own personal growth journey.

Yeah.

And I had had this kind of pull ever since. I had had my own transformation of like, I want to do this with other people, I want to coach, I want to speak, I want to make a difference for others the way I've had a difference made for me with my coaches. So I was always, you know, in. My first startup was a transportation startup. I was kind of still doing it a little bit on the side, and then with the NASA thing, I was kind of doing it more on the side. And it came to a point where I had to sit down with my mentor and just say, you know, I love this. This is an amazing project. I'm so grateful and I am negotiating with my soul every day that I don't at least go and try this thing. And so it was 2013 officially that I stepped away from that and went full time into coaching and speaking. I left it. I left the company to. I was the CEO at the time, but we left it to one of the other business guys, and they had some traction. We still have licenses that are exclusive, but it became a little slow after that because there was not as much drive for the product. But. But yeah, that's when I went full time into speaking and coaching. And now they're actually writing a book called Houston, we have a Startup. And the story. The story is going to be featured in there.

Wow, that's a great book title.

Yeah, really good. Really good title.

That's great. So you've. You've brought up mentors a lot in our conversation. How have mentors played a role in your life? And what does a mentor even mean to you?

Yeah, they've taken a lot of different roles, man. There's like, there's mentors. And then there's what my friend Sean Stevenson, who we were just talking about, he would call friend tours, right? And these are people that are like your friends, but that you learn from them as if they were your mentors, right? You can help each other. For me, my first real mentor that I can point to is a guy called Steve Chandler who actually lives in Birmingham, Michigan, who I'm going to be seeing in a couple weeks. And he was the first person that, that really, really, truly helped me understand the way the mind works and really helped me to understand the role that my victim story was playing in my life. And that whole who can I blame? And me saying something like, that's just the way I am, right? Like my anger issues. Why do you get so angry? That's just the way I am. Why, why are you stressed all the time? That's just the way I am. I call it my six word death sentence, right? That's like, that's how I live my life. And him coming in and, and not only helping me see the way the mind works, but, but helping me to see that my natural essence of being like a playful, joyful person, that's actually the lens that you want to bring to life in general, right? Levity. It doesn't mean humor or comedy. Levity. And he helped me to see when. When I wasn't taking my thoughts so seriously, when I wasn't taking life so seriously, when I wasn't taking myself so seriously, the result was joy, the result was creativity. The result was connection. And so the best mentors I've had in my life are the ones that have one core message that they keep pointing me back to. One core truth. So that coach, no matter what we would talk about, he would always bring it back to, you're taking life too seriously. And I remember the best coaching I ever received in my entire life, man. And I've had coaches for, you know, over a decade now. It was 2014 or 15. I was getting into my coaching business, trying to get some traction. Wasn't happening as fast as I wanted it to. Like pretty much every entrepreneurial venture. And I was, I was feeling really down about it. So I wrote him this long email, like probably four page email, like, oh, but this isn't working. What if this happens? And what if I lose money on this investment? What if this client doesn't sign? I mean, I'm just like going off, right? Send an email to him. I sit back, I say, okay, he's going to write me back some tools and Techniques and wisdom and all the things. Right.

And you're be good.

Yeah, I'm going to be totally. He's going to give me the answer to. Yeah. He writes me back about 20 minutes later. 10 words. So much compassion for what you're putting yourself through. And that for me is such a core tenant of my life now. To realize that anytime I'm getting in that place of overwhelm or self doubt or self hatred or whatever, the thing is going on. So much compassion for what I'm putting myself through. It's nothing out there. It's not the circumstance. I am putting myself through it. So when you ask what's been the power of mentors for me, it's people that help me drop the veil that I've put over life and see the truth of how life actually works.

Wow. What like people, you know, when it comes to working with different coaches, how have you gone about working with certain coaches in different areas of your life? And how have you. How has that changed over the course of 10 years? Because I'll speak for myself. Like growing up, I never met anyone that was working with the only coach that I thought was even out there was like a fitness trainer to help you work out. But like now being this whole new realm of like there's so many great coaches for any aspect of life that you can learn from outside of that one core mentor. Like, how have you utilized coaches in your life and how has that changed over time?

Yeah, it's really interesting too, because it hasn't always been successful for me. And here's what I mean by that. And so it's kind of a cautionary tale is that the great thing about there being so many coaches is that you can find support in pretty much any realm you want. The bad thing about there being so many coaches is that there's kind of a low bar to entry to call yourself a coach. Right. I mean, if you look online, there's a lot. The best marketer wins, not necessarily the best coach. Right?

Yeah.

For better or for worse. And so there have been times. So my filter, typically for picking a coach is either I want the result that they have or I want to see the world in the way they see it. Right. I see the way they show up in on social or in their books or in a talk or whatever it is. And I either say I want to see the world like them or I want what they have. Right. That's my filter. There have been times where I thought what they had was what I wanted, but that was my ego talking, and I thought it was okay, that they didn't exactly see the world in a way that gelled with me, because I'll still get the outcome that I want because it's the outcome they have, even though it's not actually the outcome I truly want. And so I let my ego lead that conversation. I let my ego lead that choice. And it. It blew up in my face the two times I did that, where I went against what my inner wisdom was telling me. So. So the one of the things for me that I've gotten more and more clear on over the years is I got to listen to my gut when it comes to mentors. Don't try to cut corners. Don't really check in and say, is that really what I want? Or is that the voice of my mom who says, you better have this stable thing because that's how you're going to be safe, grow, you know, like, where's that message coming from? So that's a big part of it, but the other part is that it's kind of one of these things where sometimes you. When. If you put an address into your gps, you're going from point A to point B, it doesn't show you all the directions at once. It just shows you the next direction. Right? And so a lot of times I think, you know what? I'm going to do this. Sorry, I'm going to do this for a year, and then I'm going to get this kind of mentor next year. But really, when I start taking the first couple steps of this mentor, I realize, oh, you know what? That's actually not the direction I meant to be going. I meant to go that way. And so I allow myself the space to say, you know, this is what I think I want. This is what I'm building. And I'm going to hold that lightly, because if I really get a sense that there's something else that's pulling me in a different direction, that I'm going to find a mentor in that kind of space. So it's really just listening to myself and choosing from my real authentic voice and not my ego.

Wow. It's a. Speaking of what you talked about just probably a couple minutes ago, like, putting your. Putting yourself in that mental prison of how the world. How you think the world is, or, you know, the words were. I have so much compassion for what you're putting yourself through. I feel so many of us, you know, and we all go through it at times. Like you. You're putting up your own Barricades around yourself and you're like sort of trapping yourself from growth potential and you're just living in a false reality that you're creating for yourself. Your book, Prison Break, what inspired you to write your book and what is it about?

Yeah, I mean, I kind of. I wrote it for myself. I mean, there. I still go back and read certain chapters, like when I just need refreshers of things, right. There's a certain chapter, specifically it's called your intuition is drunk. And it's the one I go back to probably the most, just to remind myself. So it was really meant to be. I say it's not an instruction manual. It's a destruction manual. Right? It is about breaking down these prison walls, which. It's a prison where you're both the captive and the captor, right? It's a prison where you have the key in your pocket and you're just sitting there anyways. Right? It's all false, all created. And so the book is about how do you make those mindset shifts on a moment by moment basis? There is no. The whole theme of the book is this distinction of being a self leader versus being a prisoner, right? Prisoner of circumstance. I'm at the whim of what happens in the economy or somebody cutting me off in traffic or who's in the White House. Like that's. That's how I decide if I'm happy or not. Versus a self leader who takes an active role in their relationship to their thoughts and creating their reality and how they want to actually live their life. And so the book was written to be. It's a lot of story and a lot of metaphor and a lot of distinction. So it's really easy. And you can relax into it and say, okay, I can see a very simple shift there. So that moment by moment, I can choose to be more of a self leader. So it's kind of like if you were born in a household and raised in a household where everybody spoke French, you're not stupid or wrong or bad for not knowing how to speak Spanish. You just weren't exposed to it. But once you then get exposed to Spanish and you know how to speak it fluently, you now realize, oh, wait, I know how to speak French and Spanish. And so when something comes at me or somebody comes at me, I have a choice of which language I use. And it's the same thing here. You end up realizing, oh, I have some prisoner tendencies that happen sometimes. That's okay. It's human condition. And. But I also have access to These self leader perspectives as well. And so the way it works for me now, and people will like read the book or see a keynote for me and say, I get it. How do I be a self leader 100% of the time? And I say, when you figure it out, let me know because I have no idea. Because the human condition is that you switch back and forth. The difference now is that when I'm in my prisoner moments, I can say to myself with full honesty, I am choosing to use my prisoner perspective. I am choosing to use French when I know I could use Spanish. And even that's transformative. To know that you are the one creating. That doesn't have to be a shameful thing. It could be a liberating thing just to know that you can do that. So the book is really about trying to help people to understand that that victim mentality. It doesn't matter what your parents did or didn't do. It doesn't matter what society did or didn't do. It doesn't matter what you failed at or succeeded at. Moment by moment, from right now, you can choose the way your life unfolds.

That's powerful. When you are speaking about this on stage, you know, you're doing things that are so transformative, talking about, like the purpose of the transformation that you went through, that now you get to help upon others. What was your first keynote? And take us back to the early days of stepping on stage, because I know just through our time of getting to know each other, it's like you're going to these stages speaking in front of thousands of people and you've put in the time. But what, like, what was your mind saying? First stage you stepped on. And what was that journey like?

It was really interesting, man. It was, it was so cool how it came to be also. And it's such a. It's a testament to something that you're a genius at, which is just connection. Relationships. Right. You're such a relationship guy. I admire you so much for the way you connect so genuinely with people.

Appreciate that.

Yeah. It's your essence. Like you don't even try. It's just who you are. Right. Which is beautiful. And so it was so funny. It was a guy that I went to high school with, his wife was having some issues with her business and he said to her, hey, my friend Jason from high school is a coach now. I should hook you up with him to see if he can help you out. Great. So she and I connected. I gave her some advice. In the business, we Went our separate ways. I get a call six months later from the national association of Residential Property Managers, in case you didn't know that existed. Massive kind of group. And they said, hey, one of our board members told me that we need to hire you to be a keynote for our national conference. Just send over your contract. And I'm like, oh, okay, now I need to have a contract, because I don't have one of those. I've never done this before. And so that was how I had the first talk. And so I go in there. It was. I think it was 250 people. It was kind of like a leadership breakout thing at the conference. And I had, like, four hours with them, and I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Like, I had, like, a brief thing that I realized they didn't have a big projector, and it's a super long, skinny room. So now you're trying to do something on the fly. So I had a whiteboard or on the. On the stage, and then I had, like, my computer webcam pointed at that. And then they were projecting that it was this crazy thing, right? But it's like my very first talk, and I'm just having to adapt everything. And I went up there and just shared from my heart, and I did what I know how to do. So what I knew how to do at that point was I knew how to coach, right? I hadn't done a whole lot of speaking. I've always been a performer. I've always been a class clown. I was always doing little performances with my cousins when I was little and stuff, but no real, like, professional stage experience. So I had really been focusing a lot on storytelling for content online and stuff like that. I started doing content online, I think, in 2012 or so, something like that, Facebook. And so I knew I was good at that, but what I really knew I was good at was coaching. And so what I made sure to do was to play to my strengths. I delivered some content. But then I said, let's make this real for you, right? And so I started doing laser coaching with people in the audience and really making it transformative for them. So it's not just this, like, universal platitude of, you can do it, just stick with it. It was like, hey, I just shared this thing. How does this show up in your life? Where's the. Yeah, but you agree with it. You like it, but you're like, yeah, but that wouldn't work in my situation. And from doing that, the people in the audience and this is the national conference. There was a bunch of the regional conference people there. And so they then contacted me afterwards and said, hey, we love what you did on stage. And the coaching, will you come do that for our regional office as well? And then it just kind of started spinning out from there.

Wow, that's incredible. So talk to me about your time today. The people that you work with. Like, what, what are you. How do you think about transformation when working with certain clients? And like, when, when someone comes to you, what are they typically seeking?

Yeah, so they're, they won't say this language, right? The, the things that I work on with people, it's. It's always three things that kind of go together. Number one, it's challenging their own identity of who they think they are, because that's going to bring them a lot more, like, ease and joy and possibilities. It's learning to navigate their thinking so they can actually use their mind instead of being used by it. And then it's taking really consistent, purposeful action. Right? Those are the three things. All three of those have to happen. Because if you just go for the action and you don't do anything with the being, you're going to burn out, you're going to be unfulfilled. It's not going to be consistent. If you focus just on the being and you just want to meditate all day, great, no problem. But you're not going to create anything in the world of form. I still live in the 3D world, so as much as I love the inner stuff and the mindset stuff, I got to do something out in the world. So all those things have to come together. The language that my clients use when they come to me is essentially, I just, I feel heavy. I feel like. I just feel like I'm always struggling. I feel like I'm always stressed. And these are people that are really successful. These are not like, you know, people that are, like, living paycheck to paycheck or like, struggling or anything. They, they have, for all intents and purposes, what we would think are very successful lives. But it's the human condition. It doesn't matter how rich you are, how poor you are. It's the human condition. And so I was just telling my girlfriend this the other day because this happened yesterday with a client. The number one thing a client can say to me at the end of a coaching call is, I feel so much lighter because my, my true belief is that you have to lighten up to level up. Right. People who take themselves too seriously, they make everything too heavy and too significant, you can still be successful, but it'll be in spite of the fact that. That you were being serious. Right. So if we can really help people to lighten up. Right. To take themselves less seriously, things just open up. Right. If you're. If you're a. If you're a heart surgeon and your job is to do very delicate, intricate surgeries with a scalpel. If you walk around clenching your fists all day as hard as you can, like where the blood is rushing into your. Like I'm doing it now. The blood is rushing into my knuckles. You do that all day, and then after doing this for five hours, you think you're going to be able to do a delicate, intricate surgery you won't be able to perform. Your hands will be shaking. So while the muscles need pressure to grow, the mind does not work well under that kind of pressure, that kind of seriousness.

Yeah.

So when I can back people up and show them, you don't have to be serious about this thing. You can be sincere about it. You can pour your love and your dedication and your creativity and your focus into it, but it doesn't have to be that serious. So. So a lot of times what I'll do is I'm trying to get them to do the equivalent of. I was giving a talk in. In Estonia, another mindvalley event last year, and it was called how to Lose the Weight. W A I T. Right. How to get into more consistent action. And I brought up the. The Nike slogan on, on the, on the, on the screen. Everybody knows the Nike slogan. Just do it.

Totally.

And I said to everybody in the audience, 800 people, I want you all to shout out at the same time, what word do you focus on when you see this? And 800 people all said in unison, do. Right. Just do it.

That was in my mind, of course. Right.

Because that's the action.

Yeah.

The challenge is if there's something that I say I want to do, saying, just do it. I would have done it already if I was going to do it. Right. That's not the problem. So if we're not taking consistent action, which sometimes that's what my clients will come to me for, that they know they want to build this thing or get to the next level in their career, even if they're already at a high level, and I would tell them, just do it. Like, well, yeah, I know, but that's what I'm here to talk to you. I can't just do it. But that's because it's not a strategic issue, it's a significance issue. And what I mean by that is I said what you want to do is you want to shift your attention away from the word do and onto the word just. Because every day I don't know about you, I just brush my teeth, I just take a shower, I just tell my girlfriend I love her. I just call my mom and see how she's doing. There's no like rubbing rosary beads or doing mantras or any of that stuff. I just do it because it's not overly significant. I'm sincere about it. I want my mom to know I'm thinking about her. I want my girlfriend to know I love her. I want to be clean and presentable. Yeah. But I don't make it too serious, too significant. So so much of what I work on with my clients is to get them out of the weeds, of all the seriousness so that their creativity can come back up and they go, oh wow, I never thought oh yeah, I could do that or I could do that. And that's just not available when we're taking ourselves too seriously.

I love that. I think the analogy of just, you know, the action oriented human too, it's, you can see it from the other side too. So many people are doing so much they don't have. They don't take the time to just go inside and just think about, you know, like what are their actions doing positive or negative? Because I mean you've, you know, spoken with so many highly successful people. I've, I've had so many great people on the show and the one thing in commonality that I see within them is they just in the context of businessman, they keep going and they never quit. And these are just like those four foundational words of keep going, never quit have been just a true testament to how I believe successful people think about the world. And similar to the story that I Talked about running 101 Ironmans, if you just keep going, you never quit. And you know that that next step is not going to kill you. Like you can keep going. I'd love to ask just if you to think back on your journey of whether that's weight loss or in business or working with clients or giving keynotes. What has been some of the most transformative pieces of advice that you've received that have stuck with you over time? Because I have now learned this over the years that you know, you interview a lot of people, you've inter interactions with so many different people, but there are things that stick out that Impact you much more significantly than other things at times. And what are some of those things for you?

Oh man, there's so many. You know, one of the things is, is really about challenging the, the identity of the person that I think I am. Right. Because you know, if I'm somebody who says man, it just feels like I'm putting out fires all day every day. That's all I do in my business, I put out fires. I've created the identity of somebody who puts out fires. And now everything I see is to prove that belief that what I do is put out fires. Yeah, right. So it's a self propagating loop again. So being able to slow that down. And this is another one of my mentors, a woman by the name of Byron Katie who really has you question your thoughts. And so she has this process she calls the work. And the Work, it's four questions, it's all free online. Like I think it's the work.com or something. And, and it's four questions and the first question is simply is it true? Like whatever this belief is, oh, this is never going to work out. Is it true? And I think about it, I go yeah, it's true, it's not going to work out. Cool, no problem. Her second question is, can you be absolutely certain that it's true? Damn. I mean I can't be absolutely certain. I mean I'm 99.9 but no, I'm not absolutely certain. Okay, cool. Third question is how do you act when you believe that thought? What images do you see of past and future? How do you treat yourself? How do you treat other people around you? And I sit there meditatively and I say, okay, so when I believe the thought this isn't going to work out, I'm really mean to myself. I say that I suck. I snap at my girlfriend because she's trying to help. But I just, I'm so upset, I'm so stressed I can't even deal with that. And I see this future of me having to get some soul sucking job that I hate and being this huge disappointment and then my girlfriend will probably leave me anyways because who wants to be with a 40 something year old guy who's doing a minimum wage job and just, just all these images of stuff that just all made up and so it's just, it's a good chance for me to sit there and say okay, when I believe that thought, that's what I experience. The fourth question is who would you be without that thought? So sitting right here Right now, same exact scenario in front of me. I see the exact thing that I'm working on, whatever it is, and it doesn't occur to me to have the thought, this isn't going to work out. And I say, what is my experience now? And I say, well, I see a thing that I did and I see that there's a result that wasn't the result that I wanted. And I see that there's a different result that I want. And I would see that I probably just need to find somebody who knows more about that than I do to get a little more help. And I start seeing these possibilities and all of a sudden I feel lighter. But nothing changed out there. Simply by questioning and inquiring into that thought, to see how I feel when I believe the thought. Who I'd be without the thought immediately changes my possibilities. So that is, to this day, one of the biggest ones for me is just inquiring into those thoughts, challenging those thoughts, really looking at who I am being. Because it's one thing to say what I'm looking at versus saying, where am I looking from? Right? Because if I'm looking from this place of everything is figureoutable, then whatever I'm looking at feels okay. But if I'm looking from the place of this is never going to work out, then nothing looks okay. So it's all about that identity shift, moment by moment, moment.

Wow, that's incredible. Before we wrap up here, Jason, I love just thinking about at times like what excites me. I think just this idea of excitement is, you know, what creates that positive thought process. Anyone could be dealing with a lot of negativity, but if you ask them what are you excited about, their mind instantly shifts.

Totally.

So for you, what are you excited about moving into this year, you know, the next 10 years in terms of your career projects you're working on, what excites you?

I love that question. And I'm always looking for what's the next level of self expression and service from. From me to the world. And so what I know to be true is, you know, as much as I love coaching and I love working with people, being on stage, being in front of a camera, being able to impact people in that way, it lights up my soul and open in a way that nothing else does. And so really leaning even more and more into that, whether it's television continuing to obviously be on stages because I love being on stages, but. But television reaching bigger audiences. And I have this one line life plan, which also happens to be my one line business plan is to leave everybody I meet with at least 5% more joy than when I found them. And so I'm looking for any avenue that I can do to express more of that so that what excites me is like, what else could I do to bring more joy and less suffering to people in the world? That's always my highest excitement.

I love that. That is a powerful message.

Thanks, man.

Well, Jason, I just want to say thank you so much for coming on the show today. Before we wrap up, where's the best place where everyone watching or listening and find you to learn more about all the practice and all the projects you've going on?

Yeah, probably Erewhon in Venice. Okay. Sorry. Yeah. Instagram. I hang out Instagram main mainly I'm the Jason Goldberg. Jason Goldberg was taken so I got the most pretentious name I could, the Jason Goldberg. So that's where I post all my content and I hang out there and continue the conversation.

Love that. Well, again, thank you so much for coming on today and everyone watching or listening. I'll be sure to link all of your information down below. And thank you so much for tuning in.