Kelly Rutherford - How Gossip Girl’s Kelly Rutherford Is Leading With Love And Gratitude

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Hold music. You want to avoid it and so do your customers. So say goodbye to holdmusic and hello to faster, smarter support with Salesforce. Make service more personal and agents more productive using built in trusted AI. Then watch costs and wait times drop and satisfaction soar. Support customers in a whole new way with Service GPT. Learn how@salesforce.com ServiceGPT what is going on, everyone? Casey Adams here. Welcome back to the Rise of the Young podcast. Today, I sat down with Kelly Rutherford. Kelly Rutherford is an American actress. She is known for her television roles as Stephanie Sam Wiltmore on the NBC daytime soap opera Generations, as Megan Lewis on the Fox primetime soap opera Melrose Place, and as Lily Vander Woodsen on the hit series Gossip Girl. On this podcast, we talked about her journey as an actress, how she got into acting, what led to Gossip Girl, and much more. So please, if you're listening on Spotify, take a moment to answer the poll and the question on the Spotify app. And with that being said, enjoy today's podcast with the one and only Kelly Rutherford.

Casey Adams here. Welcome back to the Rise of the Young podcast. On today's episode, we have Kelly Rutherford here with us. Thank you so much for coming on the show, Kelly.

Thanks for having me.

So I'm very excited about this episode. I remember I dmed you last week to come on the show and you were very quick to give back to me, which I'm very thankful for. And I know I just told you this, but since I forgot to click Record Jacqueline, she turned me on to Gospel Girl about four months ago and I'm not someone that typically watches any shows on Netflix. I've been very focused on my work the last couple of years and I just fell in love with the show and then I started to understand the characters and just the whole show. And then that's when she was like, hey, you should DM Kelly to see if she's willing to come on the show. So then now we're here. But I want to ask you, where did your journey begin in acting?

Early on, it was kind of a process of elimination because there were things I was interested in, but I felt like acting would be one that I would Never get bored. I could always learn. I could always grow. You know, it was one of those things that, you know, you see these actors throughout their careers, they just get better and better, you know, so. And I love people. Like, I'm private and kind of quiet, but then I love engaging with people. I love. You know, so it's this kind of odd thing, and it really worked. And I've always loved sort of this idea of why we do what we do as people. So it's great with acting.

Like, growing up, did you want to be an actress, or was that a goal of yours, or why did you decide to make that transition in your life?

It wasn't really a goal. It was more just. I think there were certain films that really had an impact on me at certain times in my life growing up, and I thought, wow, that's so powerful, you know, that to be able to see a film and be moved or relate to the characters and what you're going through at the time, particularly as a young woman. So I just. And I loved movies, so.

Yeah. Very cool. Yeah. So what does your childhood look like, growing up, Your family, your beginnings? What did that part of your life look like?

Well, my parents were super young when they had me, so my mom was, like, 19, and they met at the University of Tennessee, and they weren't together very long because I think it was, like a surprise. And so I grew up. You know, we moved around a bit, like, when I was a kid, so I went to different schools, which, you know, was really good in some ways because you learn to adapt and you become kind of an outside observer as well as somebody that's sort of immersed in the group. So. Yeah, so. But it was. It was really pretty great. I mean, I always felt loved. My mom was such an amazing, loving person and. And. But, you know, there were challenges and adversity, like everyone, you know.

Totally. I love that.

Yeah.

When you first started getting your first, like, roles as an actress, what was the progression of your career and what were some of the highlighted moments that really brought you to who you are today throughout your journey?

Oh, gosh. I think just showing up for me, you know, there's a lot of actors that I knew that were really picky, and I only want to do this, and I only want to do that. I just couldn't wait to work. I was just like, I just want to do it. I just want to do it, you know, and make it the best regard, regardless of what it was. Just make it the best I could make it. And I have a great acting teacher named Jocelyn Jones, who it was amazing and super. You know, she sort of was the first person to sort of put it all in perspective. Sort of the artist, the businesswoman focus, the sort of integrity of everything. For me, it made it more cohesive, so a little more focused rather than, okay, am I just an artist? But I kind of have this business side.

Yeah, to me.

And then I have this. And how do I bring all of these women together in one? And I think it helped in my work a lot. My choices. I really just go to work, you.

Know, so I'm not in the business of being in movies or any type of show. What does that look like when you're first getting started or when you got started? Like, how did you land your first role and what was that process like? Like, did you receive a lot of rejection or how did you first begin to get these gigs when you first moved to New York?

Well, you know, it's just getting an agent and then you go on auditions and then, you know, you book a job. You know, I kind of had done commercials, so that helped. Just knowing what it was like to be on a set.

Yeah.

And then you just really nervous and hit your mark and hope you say your line and find your light. In the beginning, you know, so in the beginning it's a lot technical. So I was really fortunate. When I was about your age, actually, I got a soap opera. It was like 19, 20 and, and it was so good for me because we worked so hard. It was, I had to memorize a whole script every night. And you, you know, it was allotted for me all the technical stuff. So I, you know, you could go to scene study class and study acting and hang out and smoke cigarettes and you know, do and talk about acting a lot in acting class and then. But to be on a set, you sort of, you realize all the technique involved in it and, and so I think there's the process of getting to where you're comfortable with the technique and then you can let that go and relax and, and act, you know, so it was a good, good 18 month boot camp for me to do that soap opera.

I love that.

Yeah.

In your opinion, what makes a great actor? Because you've been with some of the best actors and you've learned so much through your journey. I'm sure what in your mind creates and makes a great actor, I think.

What makes anyone great, I think it's when they're sort of aligned with their purpose and they bring something very authentic to their Work that's unique. That doesn't mean we don't take from other people and get other ideas and inspirations. Do you know what I mean? From other actors or, like, in business, other business professionals. It just means that you. I think the actors that are really great are very authentic and unique, and they bring something different to it. That. That's human, that we relate to. Relatability.

Very cool. What would you say your purpose is today? Like, in this part of your life? And for the last year, everyone's had a transition. People working from home and everyone just finding themselves through this time. What have you learned through the last year and how have you found your purpose through this time?

It's interesting. I've just really thought a lot about giving back and supporting others in different ways. And whether it's through a quote or through just being. Holding. Holding space and holding light and, like, what can I offer up here? You know, And I think that, I mean, even just like on Instagram, it was a lot about, like, all these young brands, like, how can I support these young brands that are. I don't want them to go out of business. I like what they're doing, you know, so just posting stuff and think how to, you know, and also, like, for me, because I kept thinking, well, am I going to go on a set anytime soon? And I don't know. And what. What will that look like if I do? And do I even want to deal with that right now? And, you know, just stuff. So. And so it's given us all time, I think, to just sort of go within and think, who am I separate from all of this and what do I have to offer that's unique, that may not be the normal way in which I offer it up. And so I, you know, had a lot of wonderful new experiences because of it.

Very cool. I know. You said on Instagram, when I first followed you, I was like, kelly crushes it on Instagram, all the quotes and the content. Like, how do you find not only time, but a purpose to want to share these impactful and purposeful pieces of content?

Yeah, well, when I was much younger, I used to make all these collage books and vision boards, and they'd have quotes and images and all this stuff. I'm very visual, so. And it was really good for a character, too, because I would get images of a character I was playing and that kind of thing. So that's always been a big thing. So when Instagram came around, I thought, well, first I just started at sort of documenting our last Few months on Gossip World. Because that's kind of when Instagram came.

Became big, or at least I found out about it.

Yeah, it was like, I think so when was it?

I think Instagram was like 2009, 10, 11. Yeah, in that years, I believe so.

I kind of. That's when. When I discovered Instagram, whenever that was. It was like our last year, last few months of Gossip Girl. So I kind of started doing it that way.

Yeah.

And then I, you know, I had Pinterest and then I. So then I kind of stopped doing Pinterest and just focusing on Instagram. It became my Pinterest. My, you know, all the different things kind of mix my vision board, my.

Like, during that time as an actress, was it a thing to like go like hard on Instagram and build a following? Or was that like suggested by the management or the crew or like, what was Instagram back then when you, you know, you're big star on Gossip Girl, you have this platform. Like, how important was social media back then and what led you to start building a brand on it?

Yeah, well, I remember people talking about how you could monetize it at some point if you had a certain following. So there's that kind of branding side of things were, you know, promoting products and that kind of thing. But it was. But then it just evolved into so many other things. You know what I mean? It's like it just. No, it's like everyone has it now. It's a marketing tool. And I think now even when they're casting people, I think they do look more at their social media.

Absolutely.

Than before, you know, like during that time.

So if two great people are coming to the set and one of them has 3 million followers on this big platform, that's great for a potential show or movie. Absolutely.

Just adds to everything for sure.

So I definitely love to talk about not only Gossip Girl, but what was your career like before Gossip Girl and how did the show change anything for you?

Well, I mean, I just worked consistently in television, so it was pretty. Just consistent. You know, TV shows, we do pilots. Some would get picked up, some wouldn't get picked up. I had success with Melrose Place, which was, you know, a very well known show. And so there was like that and then tv, movies, and, you know, just working. I mean, I was just kind of going along, working, and then I had. I. My son was six months old when we started Gossip Girl, so I just had a baby and it was a big deal. The thought of like moving my family to New York Because I was living in LA and doing this show. And so it was. There was so much going on personally in my life and becoming a new mother and then playing the mother of sort of grown kids on the show. But originally the creators of Gossip World did the show called the OC and originally I was one of three people that was going to test for that. And I ended up getting this other show, Threat Matrix. I tested for it and got it. So I ended up not doing the oc, which I'm thankful, girlfriend of mine did it, Kelly Rowan. Because I grew up sort of in Orange county, and it would have been so boring for me to play that part. Whereas for me, what I always related to was this east coast matriarch woman. It's what I. What the type of woman that I always found fascinating and interesting. Not that. I mean, women in Newport are very exciting. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is that, like, I know it too well. It would have been too familiar to me and not aspirational enough because that my mother was one of those. I grew up there. So what was so fun is to play this woman that was much more, you know, just fun for me. So I'm so thankful how that all worked out, you know, for sure.

Yeah. Do you ever get not tired of, like, talking about Gossip Girl, or is it still exciting and fresh when you're having these conversations?

I love it. You know, I mean, maybe for some people, but for me, it was such a beautiful part of my life. And I know it's. And so many people have enjoyed the show, and we would have never known that. So. And I really. There hasn't really been anything since that has done what that show has done. And there's many different and amazing shows, but it was really unique and timely. And I mean, there's very few shows even to today, that deal with social media, which is so bizarre to me. I mean, it was so ahead of the curve.

Totally. We were just talking about that in.

Terms of fashion, and I mean, there's so few shows that are fashion, you know, so it was. It's held its own.

Totally. Hey, how does it make you feel? Because, like, for me, I just found out about this show, and I've always heard about it. Right. Like, Gossip Girl's always been a big brand, a big show that I've been familiar with. Like, how does it make you feel as someone that's in the show as a main character to be like, wow, like someone who's 20. Just watch this show and now like, we've been watching it. It's like our nightly routine. And it's something that is still relevant and very important during times like this. And it's very forward thinking. As I'm like, I'm thinking back, like.

Wow, that was shot in 2007.

8, 9, 10. It's a very well put together, an amazing show that's like you, you said, timeless. How does that make you feel that it still has that great impact on people that watch it today?

It's amazing. Who would have thought, who would have known? I mean, that's what's so exciting is that you think generation after generation keeps watching it and somehow it's still relevant, which is beautiful. And that has to, you know, so much credit to the writers and the other actors and the storylines. And, you know, I think also being set in New York, again, like the fashion side of things, you know, the technology, you know, just everyone's on their phones, everyone's doing it. So it's relatable to each generation coming along, you know.

Why do you think it's been so popular continuously up to today? Not like, what makes the show so special, in your opinion?

Well, I think everyone can relate to the family dynamics. I think we can all relate to not feeling cool enough all the time, or this or that, or figuring out our love lives, I mean, or just it's part of our society. I think they deal with so many things that we all deal with, you know.

Totally.

And it's fun to watch. I mean, it's real, you know, it's fun. It's. And to have. I mean, for my character, I thought, wow, this is an actual human human being. They're making the parents not either really bad or good or this or that. They're trying to figure out their life in parallel to their kids trying to figure out their life and they're screwing up and they're trying to figure it out. And, you know, which is so rare. You know, you see these sort of parents that are kind of over here, the perfect parents who are judging their children. Or you see really screwed up parents and the kids having to deal, you know, so it was. It was just so well orchestrated, I think, in terms of us all being able on some level to relate to it. And it's fun to watch visually. Visually, it's fun to watch.

Absolutely. Are you and the cast still like acquaintances? Do you guys talk often or what? What is the relationship like with yourself and the cast nowadays?

Yeah, I mean, I. Here and there, like, I see Caroline, who played my Mother and Matthew and I used to hang out a lot. I don't know where he is now. I think he went. He's off. Out of the matrix. He completely went off grid, which now I'm thinking was such a bad idea. And so he. Yeah, so we used to. We were really good friends, really close, and trying to think of who else. I know I see other people. When I was in New York, I would see Penn and, like, screenings and stuff, and Ed I saw at a convention in Paris. And so. And we, you know, every once in a while, text each other, you know, and say hi. But everyone's kind of in different places, really, and. Or having families or, you know, so it's.

I remember I watched an interview with Penn, and he talked about, like, yeah, I feel like God's Girl is like a whole different lifetime for me. And it's. It was such a moment in time, the way you described it. Is that how you think of it? Like, when you look back at it and you still. I remember Jacqueline and I always talk about it like, you get tagged in Gossip Girl related content, like, continuously every day on social media, and I'm sure it's always in your face and you see it and there's an appreciation and love for it. But that's super cool, though. It's such an important part of not only your career, but it's living up to the potential that it had right when it launched, and it's still impacting people today.

Yeah, I think it's important to honor those things in your life. You know, I think it's important to honor those successes and. And the good feelings that you get from people related to that work. I mean, for me at least, it was such an incredibly beautiful time in my life and an incredible experience, so that's my connection to it. So I'm happy other people are enjoying it. They get the same satisfaction that I did, you know, doing it. And so, you know, it is. I guess I don't know anything different. So it's like, you know, to be just normal. And I'm really thankful that it's. It's kept going and that people love it. And, I mean, it's such a blessing and such a rare thing that it's a gift.

Absolutely. When you're shooting for a movie or for a show, just how easy is it for you to, like, snap into character and to be in that role? And how do you create that in your life and how you became, you know, what is your process for that?

Yeah, well, sometimes it's a vision board, you know, just to get an idea. It helps me. And then really, I just think of people I know with traits like the character. So I think of myself and how I could relate to this character. And then I layer it with people I know and different traits that. That would support this character, you know, that I can access and use. So that's. That's the best way, I guess.

Yeah.

And then it just. And then you let it go and it just sort of comes. It really is channeled, I think, when it's. When it's really good, it's channeled through you. You just let it. And based on the other actor and what they're doing, and it gets. It's a real alchemy.

Yeah.

What are some of your passions that you're working on today and some things that just excite you and motivate you as you continue to grow in your career, in your life?

Yeah, well, I've been going within a lot more. It's interesting. Just getting really quiet and surrendering to the now, which is a big deal. I like to get up and go in the morning. I get up, I get my coffee and I go, go, go. And so really just surrendering to the now and allowing myself to really align with what feels appropriate to me in the moment. So. And be guided, which is, you know, a really beautiful way to go through life. I find that I'm aligning with different people and. And things that are really exciting and new for me, you know, whereas if I was not going within and allowing and sort of saying I'm open to receiving and new ideas and new avenues in which to create and express myself, because we get. You know, when you've done something for anything for a long time, you get sort of in this, you know, you have this idea of how people see you. You have your idea of how you see you. You have the idea of, like, okay, how do I. How do I not be all that? You know, or if I'm going to be all that? And how do I actually now become something else? Morph into other things? And so. And even, like, what you're talking about, you know, being seen as a certain character for many years or that kind of thing. So that's. That's what I've been really, you know, very cool. Focusing on now is what do. What do things look like now.

Yeah.

And particularly as the world's changing in this moment in time. So. So much I love that.

Have you read the book the Power of Now?

Oh, yeah. You're so cool.

I love that book.

Yeah.

Are you New Earth? Because I'm a very spiritual person myself. Like, when you say, like, go within, what do you mean by that?

Well, we have, like a. Well, you link up with the source of all intelligence. So you link up with the source that created all that is all that exists, not just in our reality, but in all of reality, all the many different timelines and realities that exist within the universe. And so if you can get quiet and really link up with that, it's a very different communication system from what we're used to. And sort of the 3 3D. So it's really more of a feeling than it is a verbal thing. And the more you go and connect with that feeling, you're guided. It's. It's like connecting up to your own radio station, right? You're basically just tuning into what's aligned with you. And so you start creating differently and from a different place through that in.

The form of meditation. Or what's your. Like, how does one find their inner voice? Is it meditation? Is it writing? Or how do you. What's your advice to people out there? Especially during a time like this? A lot of people are stressed, A lot of people are worrying, like, how does one truly be still and find that higher power and higher self?

Well, anything that's not sort of of the vibration of love is a distraction, I would say, because if you just think of, like, okay, how do I link up with the feeling of love? You know, what is that? I mean, how can I see love in everyone? How can I see love in everything? And so you start to figure that out, whether it's through art, you know, like vision board, whether it's through meditation. It's really all of them. So it's exploring all the ways in which you feel that frequency of love and connection with source. And, you know, because it feels. You know, it's a feeling. It's not a mental thing. It's you. I mean, you mentally acknowledge what's happening through your body, but it's more. Now I can have it anytime, anywhere. It's not like I have to just sit and meditate. Like, when I was younger, I was so fidgety about meditation because I could think. I had to. Anytime you think you have to do something a certain way. Now I'm guided to meditation. I have a meditation table in my living room, and I just go, okay. I get up in the morning, and usually intel will start coming in. From the time you get up in the morning, you'll start Getting downloads of stuff, you're just not aware of it, so you just think of it as thoughts. Right. Well, if you got up in the morning, like, there's that great book Artist Way by Julia Cameron, where she talks about the morning pages. You know, you just write 10 pages of. Just download it, just whatever it is, all the good, the bad, the whatever. And so, you know, I used to do that a lot, you know, where you could write the 10 pages and then after that you could do. Am I in frame? Am I out of frame? Little things like this. Thanks for looking at me. I mean, they're slumped over, but I'm trying to look. So, yeah, so there's so many different ways. I think we all have to find what resonates with us. Like, I love morning pages sometimes. And you'll feel guided as to which one feels right that day. There's no wrong. There's no right or wrong. It's all just. You start to understand what alignment feels like for you because you're in, like, a certain flow in your life and you're trusting more. You're not getting caught up in all the dramas and all this stuff around you because you realize that's their reality, not your reality. And you realize kind of what energy you're putting out into the world, which is why you're attracting certain things. So if you shift the energy in which you're putting out into the world, you will attract different things. So it's, it's, it's. It's sort of. If you get quiet and just say, what do I want to allow in? What do I want to attract? And you start taking your focus away from anything that creates something that's not. Anything that's not aligned with that becomes a distraction and unnecessary in your life. And you find that you have a lot less drama. And you realize why you were creating all the drama before. You're like, oh, whoa, I was putting out all this other stuff. Not consciously, but I didn't know better at the time. So I create. You create all sorts of things that you're by default.

I love this. When did you, like, realize this in your life? When it comes to being able to clear these distractions and how. How is the process for you? I'm sure it wasn't overnight. I know you're referencing some of these amazing books that I've read as well. Are you a big reader or, like, where did this practice for spirituality and mindfulness come into place?

Yeah, well, my mom gave me a book called Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain and the woman that created Net. A Porter says that that's the book that helped her create. Met A Porter too, which is amazing, right? Shakti Gabain's book. And then it just became other books like, you know, Louise Hay was at the time. You know, at that time, that was what was good. And then Eckhart Tolle was the Power of Now and the New Earth, which is great. And Abraham Hicks is amazing. This Julia Kim Cameron. Abraham Hicks is my favorite. I resonate the most with Abraham Hicks, Mr. Hicks, because it's. It's. Anyway, at this time, or my life is sort of what, in the last. I'd say five years has. Has I've resonated the most with. But so many new. There's this new guy. Oh, what is it, Ken? I posted a quote of his. I just discovered. I'm always discovering new people. You know, you just always. If you start, like, there's the algorithm I like. It's like. And then it shows you more. It's like you create your own algorithms by what you focus on. So, yeah. So just a lot of those books have helped so much, and then it kind of, you know, it's like you read them all, and then it takes a minute to sort of figure out how it works through your being, you know, and how it looks in your life. But after a while, you like, the more you kind of read them and, you know, you figure out what works for you.

Totally.

Yeah.

Should we start it over again? Because I know it.

No, you're good. 28.

We'll probably go another 10 minutes or so. It'll keep going. All right.

I'm on top of it.

What do your daily routines look like? Do you have, like, regimens that you follow or. I know that you talk about your morning meditation table. Are these things that you do consistently every day?

No, I'm really not consistent with all those things. And I so admire people that are. I follow a lot of people that are. They work out every day and they're motivated and they're this. And I think I spent a lot of my 20s and 30s in that space. I had a trainer three days. You know, I was up, I got up, I did my. That stuff, and then I've slowly had to let it go. We'll be having kids and then just traveling so much, and I've just had to sort of let go of this idea of what it's supposed to look like. And maybe it's an excuse not to be super disciplined, too. There's just My excuse, but it's. It's really more. I think a lot of it is letting go of what I'm supposed to do and how. What that's supposed to look like. Does that make sense? So. So my schedule is. I get up every morning and get my coffee. I go out for my coffee, and I walk my dogs so that I do. I get up, I wash my. You usually put makeup on. Put a little base on. But, you know, so. But, you know, that's where I start. And then usually this. There's writing. I write lists of things I want to do. I mean, you know, and a lot of the time it's just errands and stuff, but there's a connectivity to what am I needing? What do I need? What do I need to eat? What is my body wanting today? You know, which is very different from day to day, right? So it's. And do I need. I need to. Like, for three days now, I've been visualizing myself sitting on my meditation table. I know that I need to do that. I do. Like, it's there. And that's what I mean by downloads. It's there. But the difference is I just listen and go, okay, no, I know I'm gonna do it, and then I'll do it. You know what I'm saying? So it doesn't have to be like, oh, my God, I got the vision. I gotta meditate right now. It's like, you know, you just ease into things. It's. Sometimes you can know you need to do something and you can kind of like be aware that you need to do something. It. It's like a separate. You separate from. It's hard to explain.

You're separating from the urgency to have to do it right now and having the guilt associated with not doing it in that exact moment. Maybe.

Yeah. I think we put like this New Year's resolutions, and we put so much pressure on ourselves to be so disciplined in certain ways. And there's a benefit to that and so many ways. Right? There's. It's totally right and good. And then there's another side that says, I'm going to observe myself being aware that that's what I want to do or that that's what I need to do. And you can do it. Even, like with quitting smoking, I would just say, okay, I'm observing myself aware that I want to quit smoking, you know, or. Because what it does is it takes you out of the. The lock into it. It's like. Then it just ha. I don't know, it's hard to say. I'm so. I don't know if I'm articulating this. Right.

You're good.

I love this. But there's. There's just an awareness of what's going on.

Yeah.

You know, through your being.

Totally. I feel so calm. Talking to your.

Everyone always said, I'm like, you're like, this is awesome.

The Zen master. Very cool. I did want to switch gears.

I know.

Got the new Gossip Girl is coming out soon. What's your thoughts on that?

I think it's great. I'm really excited about it. It's so funny. The creators have done every angle of Gossip Girl. It's like we did the pre Gossip Girl, the sequel, then they went off into something else, but now they're doing this, which I think is great. You know, I mean, I think hopefully it'll just be a continuation of the. The original.

I guess it won't be like the original.

No, not. It's not supposed to be.

Yeah, totally.

I mean, it's like anytime you do, it's not supposed to be. It'll be its own unique thing.

Do you plan on watching it?

I hope so. Yeah.

I'm so.

I haven't watched much lately, so. But yeah, as soon as I know it's on, I will definitely watch.

I was gonna say, what kind of content do you have download, as you say, into your brain? And what are you watching or reading?

Yeah.

What does that look like in your life?

Not much.

Okay.

Not much. So I don't watch much television. I don't even have my TV plugged in. I have, you know, Netflix and all that stuff and I've watched a few like the Crown here and there or some show, but I don't. And I don't listen to a lot of music and I don't read the news. I don't. I read. If anything, I read, you know, I do my car every day and I read a lot on Instagram in terms of, like, I get a lot of my news from people that I trust that I know are reputable or like diverse. Like, I follow people from different sides of things so that I can feel like I get a more neutral stance on things. I don't. I'm not one sided or the other.

That's great.

So I like to get like, what are they saying over there? There they sang over there. And there's got to be a truth somewhere here in the middle. And what is that truth? And so yes, I'm on Instagram a lot. I'M on Instagram a lot, but I don't need to be entertained all day or distracted all day. You know, I have so much to do. I don't know what I do all day. I am so busy. I don't know, between the dogs and the market and then the this and the air, I don't know. And then, you know, my mind will meditate. Meditate. Okay, okay, I'm getting there. I know, I see it. I can visualize the whole thing. It's coming. But I do have, like, soundtrack when I'm meditating that I love. You know, I made my own, like, you know, playlist for meditation that I listen to. And sometimes I just turn that on because it's just so peaceful to me. I find that the less information I'm taking in from the outside, the more I can hear my own news.

Yeah.

So that's more. Well, I can just hear. I'm more in tune. So we do. I think I try to tell my kids this. Whether they listen to me, I have no idea. Probably not. But you know that. And this has been said so many times, but, you know, everything you're taking in is having an impact on you vibrationally. So, you know, if you know what you want to create and you get quiet and you have a desire to live a peaceful life, you have a desire to have loving relationships. If you have a desire to align with the work that feels good to you, that is good for you, and is a kind of win win for everyone involved because you feel so abundant and overflowing with abundance already, then you know, your world looks different. You don't need all this stuff from the outside. And you realize a lot of it doesn't make us feel good. And a lot of it is programming. So it's called programming for a reason. So do I want to be programmed? And how am I being programmed? And so I prefer to do my own programming and set up what that looks like for myself through writing, through meditation, through just editing my thoughts and who I choose to be around and that kind of thing. So, you know, today, especially with Taken, there's so much intel, you know, that it's important to realize what to know that you're choosing it. That's just to be aware that if you're listening to that music, oh, I'm interesting. Okay, I'm choosing that music. What is that music saying? What is it programming in my subconscious mind? Because it's not just consciously. We're constantly being. You know, there's the subconscious mind, too. So it's a lot of that.

We talk a lot about love and loving relationships. What's your advice for someone watching to build more loving relationships and to add more love into relationships they have in their life.

So much of it is just our resistance to love. Right. So it depends on how we grew up and what that family dynamic was and how we've seen love play out. You know, we've seen love play out in the movies. We're seeing love play out, play out in rap music. Love plays out in many different ways, you know, and it's like, I think deciding how you want love to be in your life may be very like, what I want in terms of love in life may be very different than, you know, your age and what you're doing may be very different. Right. But there's. There's still that we. There's a certain feeling we want to feel, and so the more we can get in touch with that. And also, I think in love, a lot, we. We worry about how we're being perceived versus perceiving being present enough. Not so concerned about how you're being perceived in terms of just being with someone. And how do I feel being with this person here and listening to what that is, you know, what. How do I feel, regardless whether it's a friend, a lover, you know, whatever. How do I feel? A business associate. How do I feel. Feel in the presence of this person and sort of what's mine, what's theirs, and because it's. That's so important, right? It's like, more than. I mean, yeah, there's the physical, which is obviously so important, is part of everything, but there's also, who can I be myself with? You know, I challenge people all the time. I'm like, I walk into the bedroom with my Birkenstocks on, haven't shaved in a couple days, you know, I love it. You still, you know, still excited, you know, and if they are, then it's probably good. Like, okay, we're good, you know, because there's the days when you're like, you know, you come in with the high boots and you're like, all right now. So it's. It's not all. It's kind of like, it's good to challenge people and say, all right, when I'm not feeling like, whatever, you know, to show up with your quirky side and show up with the side of you that's a little mess and not all perfectly together. And I think that's important too, you know, I mean, some people just are together And I'm very. I mean, like this. Wait. Not everyone is this together.

Okay.

Just wait until you. I forgot my hairbrush today. There's been a fan. Shay. Of quirkiness, please. Mostly. Likewise. Thank you. So. But anyway, so the point is, you know, I think it's. It's again, like, what. What are you seeking? You know, what are you looking for in love? And that may look different at different ages and times and moments in our lives. Lord knows, I mean. I mean, there have been times I thought really, that's what you were. I looked back and said, but you needed that at that time. And for some reason that was good, you know, and it was so. I have no regrets. Do you know what I mean? It was exactly what I needed at that time. And it was where I was coming from before. I mean, I look at sort of before you're consciously creating and then after you're consciously creating and you really see the difference in how your life flows. And it's not always perfect, you know? Always.

You know.

Yeah.

But you do know when you're out of alignment and going, oh, okay, I need to get back with my. So. And it's the same with love, you know, and like, you know, you were talking about earlier, sometimes it's not instant. It's like most love comes out, unless it's just a physical thing, comes out of getting to know someone and really loving them. As a human being, it's like, I really love this person. So regardless of what happens, I love this human being. And that's really what you want. I mean, other than like a physical thing. And that's. That's. That's not like love per se.

Right.

That's just fun and exciting. May turn into love, may not. But there's. There's, you know, we have to know what we want. I think so much of life is knowing what we want and what we want that to feel like more than even look like. Because things can come in different ways. But what we want it to feel like for us, what do we want? How do we want to feel loved? I wrote about it a lot, and I made a playlist of songs that were beautiful. Love songs, like the ones where it was really good and healthy, not the ones that were sad and depressing, you know, and you have to think about that, too. How many songs am I listening to that are what about love? And what form of love are they? And. And what?

You know, there must be a special playlist.

You can make one. But this is part of creating your life, building out your life is seeing people and not just worrying so much about, we're also worried about how we're looking to everyone, myself include. We're all, you know, a little bit of that. And the less you can, the more you can be present, less you can worry about that and be present, the better decisions you're going to make. And you know, all this insecurity and stuff. But it's programming that's programmed too. So the more you step away from that, I love that.

What are you looking forward to in coming into 2021? I know like we talked about earlier, there's this level of calmness that you have and that I have even just learned from me today. What are you excited about and what are you looking forward to throughout the year?

I'm really excited about us all evolving. Like I'm really excited, excited about the human race evolving. And I think this is all happening so that we will evolve and ascend. Getting away from the polarity, getting away from anything that is not about love and supporting each other at point this, that there's more win, win involved instead of, he's right, she's right, cancel this, cancel that. It's like we're all here to help each other and we're all here to win and we're all here to express ourselves in ways that are fulfilling. And it's a really interesting time just to be neutral. It's a really unsexy word. But it's a very powerful place to exist in neutrality because you can see through things when you're in neutrality. And so I'm really excited about myself learning more about this myself and going into that, you know, a new space ascending in that way and seeing the collective ascend and expand our intelligence. And when I say intelligence, our ability to perceive not just this reality, but multi dimensional realities and timelines. So. And you know, like Beck was talking about this healer that she was working with and you know, yeah, it's time to heal and, and seek out the people that are, you know, very reputable in what they do so that we can be our most powerful. Because I really feel like we've been dumbed down for a long time. And it's sort of like when you realize you've been dumbed down for a long time, you're like, oh my God, I'm like such a late bloomer because I've been caught up in all this stuff, you know, and so, you know, it's our chance to really blossom and to bloom and to realize that, you know, and it's such a great time. I mean, I look at the younger generations because, you know, you're so with it, you know, you really are. And you see through all this stuff, you guys, you really do. You see right through it.

You know, I think the neutrality, the way you describe that I relate to a lot. Like, it's such a great time to be neutral and to see both sides of everything in life. And yeah, it definitely struck a chord with me, the way you described that.

Oh, good.

Very cool. Well, before we wrap up, I want to say, what is the most important thing you learned recently that you'd like to pass to the people listening?

Oh, gosh, have I learned anything recently? I don't think I've learned anything. Reason, I don't know. What have I learned? I just think trust. I really believe that's always what it is. And I'm constantly, you know, learning to trust things. Like, even signs, like, I'll think, God, should I do I do this or do I do that? And in my mind I know, okay, I'm gonna come up with a million different whatever. And if I just let it go, there's always something that comes along that, you know, makes me think, ah, well, that, that. That phone call or this podcast was so that I would be there and then there and then there and, ah, okay, so it's letting go of preconceived ideas and really trusting. But in that trusting, really listening. It's not like you're just like, okay, whatever. You're just present, listening and being guided. And that's something. Something I'm learning more about and trusting so much more. And it's not. It's not the normal way, you know, because you can't define it to people. You can't prove it. It's like one of those things you say, I'm trusting, you know, but that also is going within and getting quiet and knowing what you want to align with so you're real to do you know what you're doing? The action is aligning with.

With.

What do I want my world to look like? What do I want my reality to look like? And we're going into a time where I think that's super important for each individual to build out their own reality. We each have our own reality. I don't have your reality. As much as there's connectivity and, and we connect vibrationally to different people. We each are here to live out our own code, DNA, whatever it is. So the more we can acknowledge that and build our own program of what we want our reality to look like, and we want the world to look like and our relationships to look like, love to look like, what work looks like to us. It is, I think, such an exciting time to be doing that.

That's powerful. That's a great way.

He makes me feel so good. We meet, like, once a week for 45 minutes. We didn't have to record it. It's like, I just want to sit and talk. He's the same. He's so calming. It's just like. Yeah.

Thank you so much.

You're so good at this.

For everyone watching, Kelly, where's the best place where people can stay in touch with you, learn more about you, and just feel Zen like I do right now on a daily basis? This is great.

Just Instagram.

Instagram.

This is Kelly Rutherford. Yeah. On Instagram.

I will make sure to link that down below. And everyone watching, thank you so much for tuning in. And, Kelly, thank you so much for coming out today. My pleasure.

Oh, my God.

Monarch Legacy of Monsters An Apple original Series the world is on fire. I decided to do something about it on the November 17th. This place, it's not ours. Believe me, the most massive event of the year arrives. If you come with me, you'll know everything. I promise.

Oh, my God.

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Monarch Legacy of Monsters streaming November 17th only on Apple TV Plus.