In this spoken segment, Chad Silverstein recounts a pivotal team‑practice moment where a trusted colleague confronted him about the unseen emotional impact of his words. He reflects on how leaders often have blind spots regarding how their communication is perceived, especially when team members are unfamiliar with the leader’s style. Silverstein emphasizes that trust is the foundation of high performance, yet it is fragile—one misinterpreted comment can erode years of relationship building. He warns that unaddressed misunderstandings lead to hidden resentment that may surface later as sabotage. The narrative closes with a Maya Angelou quote, underscoring that people remember how they are made to feel, reinforcing the need for leaders to be intentional about emotional impact.
Chapters
I'll never forget one of the team practices where I got in the middle of the room and people were giving me feedback. I had someone who I trusted and she was definitely a key player in my company. She looked me in the eye and she said, Chad, you don't understand how much of an impact you make when you share things with us. So I asked her to tell me more and she said, well, you just, you don't know like how you make people feel. Sometimes you're just talking and you say things and it makes, it's very powerful. And so I, I thought about it afterwards and, and I just, You know, I, I didn't, I didn't realize, you know, the way she felt and the way she explained it helped me understand a little bit more about, you know, being in a position of authority and that everything I do and say matters. 'Cause people take it the way they take it based on where they are. And I remember talking to Chad after practice and he just told me, you know, it's definitely a little bit of a blind spot and you're just being yourself, but people aren't used to that. And because people aren't used to that or they don't trust or they don't understand what it's like to be here 'cause they haven't been here for a long time, you have to be a little bit more careful careful about when you challenge people and when you've got that edge because it can be taken the wrong way. And a lot of times leaders are taken the wrong way. They're misunderstood. And I think that's a dangerous place to be when you're trying to build trust on a team. At the heart of performance is trust. You have to have trust. You have to build trust. It doesn't happen overnight. And trust is fragile. You can work for years to build trust and one comment One comment could literally shatter the trust that you have with somebody if they take it the wrong way. And if someone takes something that you as a leader said the wrong way and you didn't intend for them to take it that way, and that wasn't your intention, but they are too scared to say something to you and you didn't pick up on any micro messages to go repair, what a shame that is. Because then you have a relationship now that's strained. You as a leader don't even know about it. This person buries it and they harbor it. And then, you know, who knows where that sabotage shows up, you know, 6 months from now. They don't remember, and they remember how they felt. I think that's a powerful, powerful melody line of this day in that quote by Maya Angelou, because people do remember how you make them feel.
