Chad Silverstein advises leaders to maintain regular, careful connection with close collaborators (partners, direct reports) to prevent small disconnects from growing into major conflicts. He emphasizes deliberate selection of close working relationships—assessing behavior and long-term compatibility—to avoid painful consequences if disputes arise.
Chapters
So I could tell you firsthand that if you have anyone that you work with on a close basis, meaning you either have a partner or you have someone who's a direct report, someone that is connected to you, and there has been time that has gone and it's been a little bit more than normal and you kind of disconnected, there's probably a much bigger disconnect than you think. So if you hopefully have a healthy cadence of whoever it is that you're working so closely with, you know, hopefully, you know, you don't let too long go where you can't clear the air. Because when that conflict seeps into a close relationship and there's a lot of risk and big consequences, that is a recipe for disaster. So you want to make sure you stay connected. Leaders are connectors. And we say that in so many different ways and nuances. When you're sending a message to your team, when you're having your one on one with your direct reports, your partner. And I think there's something to be said about, you know, the way you do that and you have to be thinking about it and you have to be very, very careful and mindful and cautious before you go into those types of relationships. And you know, one of the things you can think prior to getting into those types of relationships, where you have people who have, you know, diverse ways of thinking, which could be a really good thing. But you got to think in your head, if this person and I are going to have a problem five, ten years from now, if we were not going to be together, is this the type of person that I want to have that type of a conflict with? So you have to look at the person, you have to like, see their behaviors, look at their past, and then decide and make that decision. Is this someone that I will want to have conflict with? Because there's a good chance unless you're going to be together for the rest of your life, this goes in marriage too, that, you know, you better make sure you're making a good solid decision at the time that you're making it, because you know you're in for a world of pain if you make a bad decision or you make the wrong decision.
