A short spoken segment by Chad Silverstein (Built Lead) about how difficult it can be to change in front of loved ones and how personal growth can alter relationships. He advises learners to avoid pushing change onto others, use an internal scorecard, and practice solitude and presence—using the Built Lead journal as a tool—to become an intentional, distinct leader.
Chapters
I found that one of the hardest things in the world to do is to change in front of the people that you love the most. It's a weird thing, right? Because you think the people who love you the most will embrace you no matter who you are. But what happens as you decide to focus on you and work on you and grow that sometimes can make people around you a little uncomfortable. One, because they think that you're now a reminder of what they should be doing. And two, because you change and your beliefs will change because you'll realize that what you thought you believed maybe isn't really what you believed. And maybe taking some time to reflect upon that and make a decision to change a belief because you've changed will just make sense for you. And to some other people around you, it may not. You really, you really start to learn who really loves you when you change and they still embrace you. And that's been a difficult part of my journey. I've had to go through a lot of change personally, and it has definitely changed a lot of my relationships. So the one piece of advice I would give you as you start this builder's journey is to keep your mouth shut and don't try to push down anyone else. A lot of people find a lot of inspiration when they start their journey. They start working on themselves. They start to get a couple wins and they want to share it because of a good place. It's working for you. So you want it to work for others that you feel need it. And it's easy to look at others and say that they need it. You just keep holding that mirror up in front of you and you just keep working on you and use an internal scorecard of people saying, wow, you know, like, what's up with you? You seem different, you've changed and it's, and it's a good, that's a great sign that you're on the right path. You don't need to talk about it, you don't need to push down to other people. And the build to lead journey can sometimes feel like the low, the road less traveled, meaning, you know, you could feel really alone. Being a leader is hard. Leading yourself is hard. You know, you're going to be challenged to aim at something big and to be focused on your productive actions and to be working towards something that you feel is going to be attainable and sometimes even a little unrealistic. But because we're going to challenge you and you will transform, it's part of the process is to become a distinct individual who you've been destined to become. And it's going to be intentional and deliberate, and you got to embrace that because that's who you are. And if you just want to fit in with everyone else and be part of the herd, that's exactly the opposite of what built lead's all about. There's nothing attractive about that. Being a follower and letting other people influence you and not even being aware of it is just a dangerous place to live. You know, people say they. They want to be more present and they feel like time goes so fast. And it's true. Because when you're busy and you're influenced by others and you're distracted all the time, time does go fast because you never take time to stop. People don't like to be by themselves. They're uncomfortable, they have to be distracted. They pull out their phone, they get on their text, they check their social channels. They're looking at other people's lives. It's a hard thing, man. Most people are addicted to it. And you got to be deliberate about getting away from it, taking some time to be solo, reflecting on your life, why you're here, what you want, how you want to live, what you're going to aim at. And if you don't do that, you will not live in the present moment. And the key to being present and living in the moment is to actually do it. You actually have to stop, and you have. You have to slow down, and you actually have to do it. So hopefully the Built Lead journal will be a catalyst for you to do that. As you consume day four in the book and you reflect on it, let me know what you think, share your thoughts, bring it to practice, and you're on your way to becoming a distinct and deeply connected individual that's becoming built to lead. So congrats to you on that. You're one of the few, for sure.
