Chad Silverstein delivers a reflective monologue advising against comparing oneself to others’ public appearances and achievements. He emphasizes comparing current self to past self (measure backwards), criticizes societal reverence for money/status, and values everyday goodness (e.g., a dedicated teacher) over public success. He warns that public personas can hide poor private behavior and urges being tough on oneself constructively (hard, not down).
Chapters
I love reading through the book and seeing a day where a day of practice at Choice Recovery in my company is talked about. I remember this practice, and I remember the first time Chet teed up Rob Lowe. Not to compare your insides to someone's outsides. You shouldn't be comparing yourself to anyone anyways. I think everyone's on a different path. Everybody has a different aim. Everybody comes from a different place. And if you are keeping score and you're comparing yourself to other people, you're in for a world of hurt. And the only person that you should be comparing yourself to is yourself in the past. This is why education in school drives me nuts. Because they go crazy about 4.0, 4.0, and now they have 4.5s and 4.8s. It's ridiculous. Meanwhile, it means nothing. And the 4.8s are usually working for people who have a 2.0. I always tell my kids, let's look backwards, measure backwards. Where were you last year? How'd you do last quarter? And how far have you come? And that's the comparison that you're after. Not your friend, not the girl in the class, or the guy who's in the ap. And I think it's an important lesson at work and in life, and especially if you're gonna compare yourself with high performers, you're on a different path and you can perform in a different way. Now, if you're being compared, you know, there's certainly a. Definitely some truth to using a comparison to help motivate you to be competitive, but not to make you feel bad. And if you feel yourself feeling bad when you compare yourself to someone else, chances are, you know, you're comparing it to the wrong thing anyways. And that's kind of what this quote is all about. Because what someone can show you publicly is not who they are. Maybe they have a talent. Maybe they can do something really well. But, you know, what if they go home and they abuse their kids, beat their spouse up? I mean, that's not a good person. I always think it's funny when a millionaire or a billionaire walks into a room and everyone's just like, oh. And they want to praise this person. Who cares? So what? It's paper. The guy could be a total jerk. The woman could be a complete, you know, asshole. And we somehow think that they belong to be put on a pedestal because they have money. It's. It's such a backwards world we live in. And, you know, the teacher who makes 40 grand a year, who's the best mom in the world and treats her students, you know, like they're her own kids. Those are the ones who deserve to be, you know, honored and put on a. Put on a pedestal. But at the end of the day, we don't really know who anyone really, truly is behind closed doors. And because of that fact, you should never be comparing yourself to what you see from people out in public because you have no clue who they really are. And it'd be a real shame if you looked down upon yourself because you compared yourself to someone else who was a bad person. And if you knew the truth, you'd smile knowing that you're not like that person. So be very careful when you're catching yourself comparing yourself to other people around you. When you are down on yourself. Remember, hard on yourself, not down on yourself. It's okay to be hard and kick your own butt, but don't be down and let it. Let it get you down. And especially at the expense of. Because you're comparing yourself to someone else, it's not worth it.
