How to Challenge Coworkers the RIGHT Way.

For leaders that have shoot in their eye, they like to challenge people on their team. There's a time to challenge with challenging questions and there's a time to challenge with curious questions. When you challenge with curious questions, you got to make sure the challenge doesn't come out. You got to make sure that you truly are insatiably curious to want to better understand someone that is on your team for whatever reason it may be. The challenging part of a curious question is a mixed message and it can. And I used to do this early on because I like to challenge people and make them better. But I also am very curious. But I know what's going on in my head and I don't know what's going on in other people's heads. I believe that what other people are thinking is none of my business. And I can't pretend like I can live in someone else's shoes and know what they're thinking. The fact is I can't and neither can you. And so when you're with your team and you have brand new people that started, be more curious, be insatiably curious to better understand these individuals who are now being welcomed into a strange environment for them. Especially if you have a team that has been around for a long time. Especially if you have traditions and you have a way of being that they're not used to and they're not comfortable with yet. And when you have a veteran and they get it, you could challenge them all day long. As long as there's trust. Challenge them and make sure that if you challenge them in front of new people who are thrown and confused by this crazy place because you're challenging your teammates and they're not used to the boss doing that or the leader doing that, that you explain to them that you welcome them into your culture and that you tell them the why behind it and how you got there. Share your traditions so that you know they don't think that they are coming in and complete outsider. You don't want people feeling like they're an outsider because they already do. And if you make it your way to include people, embrace them as they come in by being curious and not necessarily throwing hard challenging questions in a curious way, which is going to confuse them, then you'll have a much more enjoyable culture for people to work in that will have trust. And at the heart of any high performing team is the high level of trust. And if you're not doing anything purposely to build that, then you're not going to have a high performing team. There are no. Teams that are the best, that don't have trust, they may not like each other and they may not all hang out at happy hour, but they trust. And they have something called chemistry and flow that you'll sometimes see in a sports team that just kind of knows where the next person's going to be and they can lead that person. And they just have spent time being together, getting tired together in the locker room, building trust. And unfortunately, corporate teams don't do that much. And if you're on a team that does spend time together and getting to know each other and being curious and also being able to challenge when it's appropriate, not mixing the message, then you're blessed and keep doing it.