Chad Silverstein argues confidence comes from competence, not feelings. Parents should identify their kids' strengths, repeatedly affirm them, and embed these abilities into how children see themselves. This builds lasting confidence that holds up when things get hard.
Chapters
I think a lot of people don't know how they would define confidence, but if you want your kids to be more confident, you have to help them recognize and build competence. Because confidence isn't going to do you so much good when you're in the midst of a storm or you're not feeling so confident. But being competent and being able to like leverage your unique abilities and bring out the best in you when you're maybe not in the best version of yourself and being able to recognize this in your kids and be able to build into them their qualities, their unique abilities, and reinforce that and bolt that down into their belief system and influence them and brainwash them with the truth, which is that they have an ability to do this or that and call it out when you see it. And that'll help them build that competence that will result in confidence. And it's a nuance, but it's an important one.